I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 1, Episode 18 - Breaking the Lease - full transcript
The Ricardos try to break their lease after a fight with the Mertzes.
( "I Love Lucy"
theme song playing)
( theme song ending)
♪ I want a girl ♪
♪ Just like the girl ♪
♪ That married dear, old Dad ♪
( solo): ♪ My dear old dad. ♪
( laughing)
Oh, that was wonderful!
We're great.
Yeah, you even sounded good.
Thank you.
You know, a little more
practice and we could do
singing commercials
for television.
Gee, Ethel, you certainly
play the piano wonderfully.
Oh, thanks, Lucy.
Hey, how about "Sweet Sue"?
Yeah, that has a nice
harmony, all right?
♪ Da-da da-da-da-da... ♪
Oh, wait a minute, Ethel.
It's, uh, it's 2:00
in the morning.
Well, what about it, honey?
Yeah, yeah, 2:00's the
perfect time for "Sweet Sue."
Yeah. Well, I
mean, it's a little late.
Won't the other
tenants complain?
About what? Complain
about what, honey?
About all the noise.
Noise? Noise? Noise?
Huh, we're not making
noise; we're making music.
Yeah. Let them
phone the landlord.
I'm not home.
( laughing)
I always forget that
you're the landlord.
RICKY: Yeah, come on.
Besides, what's wrong with
good friends harmonizing a little?
That's what the
world needs more of.
You're right.
Oh, it's so wonderful to
have landlords like you two.
What a break for us to
have tenants like you two.
Well, okay, okay,
"Sweet Sue." Yeah.
♪ Da-da da-da-da-da... ♪
Look at this place, Lucy.
You've taken
such good care of it
we could rent it tomorrow
and not have to change a thing.
Okay, okay, "Sweet Sue." Yeah.
♪ Da-da da-da-da-da... ♪
Well, you know why, Ethel?
It was in such wonderful
condition when we moved in.
Well, all right,
all right, girls.
Now, "Sweet Sue."
♪ Da-da da-da da-da... ♪
You're the nicest
tenant I ever had.
And you're certainly
the nicest landlady
I've ever had.
And this is the most
sickening conversation
I've ever heard.
You're so right.
Oh... Oh, you two
have no sentiment.
I move that we
dedicate the next number
to our wonderful friendship.
All right, to our friendship.
I subscribe to that.
That's a wonderful
idea. To Ricky and Lucy.
Here we go.
Ah, now then. All right?
"Sweet Sue"... ready, go.
"Sweet Sue." Good, wasn't it?
♪ Da-da da-da-da-da ♪
♪ Every star above ♪
♪ Knows the one I love ♪
♪ Sweet Sue, just you ♪
♪ And the moon up high ♪
♪ Knows the reason why ♪
♪ Sweet Sue, yes, you ♪
♪ No one else, it seems,
ever shared my dreams ♪
♪ And without you, dear,
I don't know what I'd do ♪
♪ In this heart of mine,
you live all the time ♪
♪ Sweet Sue, that's you ♪
( solo): ♪ Nobody but you. ♪
Oh, that's all. It's
getting late. We got to go.
Yeah, we got to get out of here.
Oh, no, Ethel. You got to go?
Oh, honey, no. Thanks
for everything, now.
Oh, that's too bad.
Thanks for everything, Rick.
We've enjoyed it. Well,
I'm glad you came up, Fred.
See you in the morning.
Good-bye, Ethel.
You cut that out.
Good night. Good night.
Good night.
Oh...
Gee...
( sighs)
Aren't they wonderful people?
Yeah, they sure are
a lot of fun, honey.
Oh, I had such a
good time tonight.
I want to live in this
apartment the rest of my life.
Well, honey, I think that
you and I and Fred and Ethel
are fated to go
through life together.
Yep. Hey, look.
Ethel left her rings here.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
You know, honey,
she's absolutely right.
People ought to do
more singing in this world.
That's right, honey.
( chuckles)
Yes, sir, they sure
should sing... everybody.
"Sweet Sue."
( playing bouncy intro)
♪ Every star above
knows the one I love ♪
BOTH: ♪ Sweet Sue, just you ♪
♪ And the moon up high
knows the reason why ♪
♪ Sweet Sue, yes, you ♪
♪ No one else, it seems,
ever shared my dreams ♪
♪ And without you, dear,
I don't know what I'd do. ♪
Ya-da-bum, ba-de-dum,
ba-de-dum, bum-bum.
( thumping)
What was that?
I don't know.
Come on, let's go.
♪ In... this... heart
of mine, you l... ♪
( thumping)
That sounded like it came
from the Mertz apartment.
Oh, no, honey, it couldn't be.
No, I guess not.
♪ You live all the... ♪
( thump)
♪ Time. ♪
( thump, thump)
♪ Sweet Sue, it's you. ♪
( thump)
( phone rings)
Hello?
ETHEL: Hello, Lucy?
Hi, Ethel, what's you...
what's on your mind?
What's going on
up there, anyway?
Oh, we're singing "Sweet Sue."
Want to come up
for another chorus?
Do you know what time it is?
How do you expect
anybody to get to sleep?
Why, Ethel, what's the matter?
You thought it was fine
when you were up here.
Well, I'm down here
now and I think it's lousy.
Well, really, Ethel!
How can you change
in such a short time?
Good night, Lucy.
Good night.
What's the matter with Ethel?
She must've walked downstairs
too fast and gotten the bends.
What?
Well, she's a little grumpy
because we're making noise.
Well, I thought
she... Well, so did I.
She'll be over
it in the morning.
Come on, honey,
let's go to bed. All right.
♪ Da-da da-da-da,
da-da, da-da-da... ♪
94, 95, 96...
97, 98, 99, 100.
( sighs)
( bangs)
( bangs)
Oh, no, you don't.
( bangs)
( bangs)
( bangs)
Now, Ricky...
All right, all right,
we'll compromise.
That's a compromise?
( bangs)
( rattling)
Now, what do you want
me to do, freeze to death?
( phone rings) A little fresh
air isn't going to hurt you
you hothouse plant.
( ringing continues)
Hello?
FRED: Will you cut
out that racket up there?
Fred?
Yes, Fred!
How do you expect
people to get any sleep?
Well, I was only
closing the windows.
What with? A sledgehammer?
Now listen, Fred...
Listen, my foot.
Now, let's have
it quiet up there!
Huh, how do you like that?
"Let's have it quiet
up there!" he says.
Some lousy landlords they are.
Yeah.
Nerts to the Mertz.
Yeah.
Well... good night, baby.
Good night, honey.
( water dripping)
( dripping continues)
( dripping continues)
Oh, no.
The shower is dripping.
Yep, sure is.
Somebody should
get up and fix it.
Yep, somebody should.
Well?
Well?
This isn't getting us anyplace.
We'll both get up and fix it.
What?
That's the only fair way.
When I count to three,
we'll both jump out of bed.
All right.
You ready? Ready.
Okay.
One...
two...
three!
Apparently, we
can't trust either of us.
Apparently.
Well, as far as I'm concerned,
that shower can drip all night.
I just don't care.
I won't pay any attention to it.
All right, neither will I.
All right. All right.
( dripping continues)
( dripping continues)
( dripping volume increasing)
I can't stand it anymore!
I can't stand it, I tell you!
I can't stand it!
I can't stand it anymore!
I can't stand it!
( banging and shouting)
What are you doing?
I can't lock it
up! I can't lock it!
I'm going to use the wrench.
( phone rings) Oh...
( banging continuing)
Hello?
What's going on up there now?!
Ricky's trying to fix some
of your antique plumbing!
That's what's going on!
Oh, no.
Let me talk to him!
All right!
Fred wants to talk to you!
Just a minute!
Just a minute!
( banging continues)
( water rushing)
( Ricky shouting): Oh, no, no!
Oh, Ricky!
Ricky, what happened?!
What happened?! What happened?!
Oh...
Oh...
The pipe broke,
that's what happened!
Oh, honey, you're all wet.
Give me that phone! Hello!
Listen, lunkhead, stop
pounding on those pipes!
Listen, you old poop
why don't you put some
decent plumbing in this firetrap?!
We will, as soon as we
get some decent tenants!
Yeah? Well, maybe
you'd like us to move.
That'd suit me fine.
All right, all right!
That settles it... we're moving!
Good-bye and good riddance!
Good-bye!
We're moving!
Good!
They're moving.
Good!
I wouldn't stay in this
crummy apartment
with those horrible
Mertzes if you paid me.
FRED: Hello!
Hello. I'd like to
speak to Mrs. Mertz.
Hello.
Whoever told you you
could play the piano?!
( doorbell buzzing)
Good morning.
I hate to bother
you, Mrs. Ricardo,
but I believe I left
my diamond rings
on your piano last night.
Yes, you did, Mrs. Mertz.
I'd be very happy
to get them for you.
Oh, don't bother.
I'll get them...
if they're still there.
I don't know why
you should worry.
You can always buy
another box of Cracker Jack.
I'll have you know
these are real diamonds.
Ha!
Mrs. Ricardo, would you
be so kind as to inform me
just when we are to be deprived
of your charming company?
Very shortly.
Good.
Thank you.
My, it'll certainly be nice
getting away from such
disagreeable people.
It certainly will.
Would you like to
give me the check
for the next five
months' rent now?
Of course, I'd be delighted.
What do you mean "the
next five months' rent"?
Well, if you're leaving,
you have to pay off your lease.
Our lease?!
Yes, don't you remember?
You begged me on bended
knee to give you a lease
just so that no
one else could have
this fantastically
inexpensive, lovely apartment.
Oh, you mean that one-sided,
unfair, binding contract
that we were forced to sign
before you would
grant us the privilege
of moving into this
broken-down hovel?
"Broken-down" is right.
Look at this place.
It'll take the next five
month" rent to redecorate.
Redecorate?
Yes.
After we fumigate.
You can leave the
check in my mailbox.
( door slams)
I...
Ooh!
Honey, I don't
seem to be able to...
Oh, shut up!
What's the matter with you?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Ethel was just up here and
she made me so darn mad!
What now?
She says she... they're
going to hold us to our lease.
We have to give
them five months' rent
before we can leave!
I guess we're stuck here.
Well, now that,
uh... that all depends.
On what?
On whether we can, uh,
break the lease or not.
Do you think we can?
Mm... could be.
What's on your mind?
We are going to become the
two most unpleasant, disagreeable,
nasty people in the whole world.
But how?
We'll force ourselves.
Oh, boy.
Let's see, now.
What can we think of that'll
make them kick us out?
Nah...
Think nastier.
We'll get it.
Hiya, honey.
Hi!
How's my little
lease-breaker doing?
Just fine.
Ha, ha! That's good.
How'd things go at rehearsal?
Oh, pretty good, honey.
( door slams)
Look.
( whirs)
What's that?
A riveter's hammer. Watch.
( clattering loudly)
( laughing)
Hey, that's very good.
That's very good.
I'm surprised they
haven't moved out.
I have quite a schedule. Yeah?
Oh, it's time to make
another call to Ethel.
Let me, let me, let me do this.
( whirring loudly)
( clattering loudly)
( hammer bit falls out)
Hey! What happened?
Shh... get this. Yeah?
Hello, this is the Ajax
Salvage Company.
We buy old glass.
I understand you have some rings
that you're
interested in selling.
( whirring loudly)
Oh, she's furious!
Oh, am I glad I'm on your side!
( both laughing)
We'll break that lease yet.
Now, remember, when
you come home tonight
make a lot of noise.
Oh, that reminds me.
I won't be home till
late tonight, honey.
Why? Well, we have to rehearse
for a couple of hours
after the club closes.
Ricky, why don't you
have the rehearsal here?
Honey, are you crazy?
I got a 16-piece band.
I'll blow the
roof off the joint.
Well... doesn't look like rain.
I'll do it.
( laughs)
I'll do it.
Good.
( playing loud,
jazzy Latin number)
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
( singing in Spanish)
♪ A cumba, cumba,
cumba cumbachero ♪
♪ ¡Chero! ♪
♪ A bongo, bongo,
bongo, bongosero ♪
♪ ¡Bongosero! ♪
( continues singing in Spanish)
♪ ...Bongosero que se va. ♪
♪ ¡Bongosero que se va! ♪
( cheering and applauding)
Oh, that was wonderful!
That's the best number
you've done since midnight.
( laughing)
What time is it?
Uh, 4:30.
All right, now let's
have a loud one.
A loud one? Yeah.
All right.
Listen, I wonder how Fred
and Ethel are enjoying it.
Well, they have
a lot of courage.
I haven't heard a
peep out of them.
Oh, boy, this is swell.
No. Isn't it?
Honey, who are all these people?
I don't know, but
the more, the noisier.
Yeah?
All right, we'll dedicate
the next number
to Fred and Ethel Mertz.
Great! All right. Fred
and Ethel Mertz?
Yes, our lovely landlords.
They won't hear this.
They're still
down in the street.
Down in the street?
Yes, they have a big sign
that says, "Jam Session
Tonight: Ricky Ricardo in Person"
and they're selling tickets.
Oh, no!
Oh!
RICKY: How do you like that?
I'm going down there
and give them a piece
of my mind. Yeah!
Oh, they're back
in their apartment.
It was too cold outside.
LUCY: Oh... They
sold us the last tickets.
Oh, they're back in
their apartment, are they?
Well, we'll dedicate
the next number
to Fred and Ethel Mertz...
An old Cuban folk dance
called "El Break-o the Lease-o."
"El Break-o the Lease-o"? Yes.
How does this old
Cuban folk dance go?
♪ Da-dum, da-dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Da-da-da,
da-da-da, da-dum... ♪
Oh, "La Raspa!" "La Raspa!"
Everybody!
( band plays
"Mexican Hat Dance")
( doorbell buzzing incessantly)
( music continues)
( music stops)
( coughing)
Okay...
Okay, you win.
Here's your lease.
♪ Ba da... ba-da-dah... ♪
( band resumes playing
"Mexican Hat Dance")
Is that all, honey?
I think so.
Gee, it'll certainly be good
to get out of this
joint, won't it?
Yeah. Did you tell Ethel
we were moving today?
Well, I haven't seen her
since she brought up the lease.
I mailed her a note
telling her to come up
and get the keys today.
What shall I do about this?
What is it?
It's a picture of us
and Fred and Ethel
taken in Atlantic
City last summer.
Oh.
We sure had a lot of
fun there, didn't we?
Yeah.
What shall I do, throw it away?
Oh, no, no, I'd better pack it.
Huh?
Well, we can always cut
them out with a scissors.
What are all these things here?
Oh, they're some things
I borrowed from Ethel.
She has a lot of my things, too
if she hasn't sold them.
You know, I got a lot of
tools that belong to Fred.
Some of them we bought together.
What shall I do with those?
I don't know.
Gee, it's amazing we could
have been such good friends
with a couple of stinkers.
Yeah... we sure had a lot
of fun in the last nine years...
until they showed
their true colors.
Yeah.
Well, that just shows
you how sneaky they are.
Yeah.
Here, honey, you want
some paper for that? Yeah.
( doorbell buzzing)
Come in, come in, please.
All these are yours.
Oh, thanks.
Uh...
These are yours, I guess.
Thanks. It's all right.
Here's some things of yours
that somehow got
into my apartment.
Thanks.
There are some of your things
that I managed to get hold of.
It's all there.
You can count it if you like.
Oh, well, that won't be
necessary, Mrs. Mertz.
( crying): I trust you.
You do?
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
look, uh, Fred, uh
it doesn't matter
to me, you know,
but, uh, for some
crazy reason or other,
I think Lucy wants to stay.
Don't you, Lucy?
( bawling)
Well, it doesn't
matter to me either,
but it's, uh, up to Ethel.
What do you say, honey?
( bawling)
( both wailing)
I... ( chuckles)
You heard what the girls said.
I guess we're staying, eh?
Yeah.
Only-only this time,
I want a long lease
so that we don't
ever get kicked out.
Well...
Fred...
Well, what do you know?
I just happen to
have a new lease
already made out.
Oh, how wonderful!
Let's... Help me unpack!
Unpack?! Yeah! Yeah!
You're staying!
( all talking excitedly)
( "I Love Lucy"
theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: I Love
Lucy is a Desilu production.
theme song playing)
( theme song ending)
♪ I want a girl ♪
♪ Just like the girl ♪
♪ That married dear, old Dad ♪
( solo): ♪ My dear old dad. ♪
( laughing)
Oh, that was wonderful!
We're great.
Yeah, you even sounded good.
Thank you.
You know, a little more
practice and we could do
singing commercials
for television.
Gee, Ethel, you certainly
play the piano wonderfully.
Oh, thanks, Lucy.
Hey, how about "Sweet Sue"?
Yeah, that has a nice
harmony, all right?
♪ Da-da da-da-da-da... ♪
Oh, wait a minute, Ethel.
It's, uh, it's 2:00
in the morning.
Well, what about it, honey?
Yeah, yeah, 2:00's the
perfect time for "Sweet Sue."
Yeah. Well, I
mean, it's a little late.
Won't the other
tenants complain?
About what? Complain
about what, honey?
About all the noise.
Noise? Noise? Noise?
Huh, we're not making
noise; we're making music.
Yeah. Let them
phone the landlord.
I'm not home.
( laughing)
I always forget that
you're the landlord.
RICKY: Yeah, come on.
Besides, what's wrong with
good friends harmonizing a little?
That's what the
world needs more of.
You're right.
Oh, it's so wonderful to
have landlords like you two.
What a break for us to
have tenants like you two.
Well, okay, okay,
"Sweet Sue." Yeah.
♪ Da-da da-da-da-da... ♪
Look at this place, Lucy.
You've taken
such good care of it
we could rent it tomorrow
and not have to change a thing.
Okay, okay, "Sweet Sue." Yeah.
♪ Da-da da-da-da-da... ♪
Well, you know why, Ethel?
It was in such wonderful
condition when we moved in.
Well, all right,
all right, girls.
Now, "Sweet Sue."
♪ Da-da da-da da-da... ♪
You're the nicest
tenant I ever had.
And you're certainly
the nicest landlady
I've ever had.
And this is the most
sickening conversation
I've ever heard.
You're so right.
Oh... Oh, you two
have no sentiment.
I move that we
dedicate the next number
to our wonderful friendship.
All right, to our friendship.
I subscribe to that.
That's a wonderful
idea. To Ricky and Lucy.
Here we go.
Ah, now then. All right?
"Sweet Sue"... ready, go.
"Sweet Sue." Good, wasn't it?
♪ Da-da da-da-da-da ♪
♪ Every star above ♪
♪ Knows the one I love ♪
♪ Sweet Sue, just you ♪
♪ And the moon up high ♪
♪ Knows the reason why ♪
♪ Sweet Sue, yes, you ♪
♪ No one else, it seems,
ever shared my dreams ♪
♪ And without you, dear,
I don't know what I'd do ♪
♪ In this heart of mine,
you live all the time ♪
♪ Sweet Sue, that's you ♪
( solo): ♪ Nobody but you. ♪
Oh, that's all. It's
getting late. We got to go.
Yeah, we got to get out of here.
Oh, no, Ethel. You got to go?
Oh, honey, no. Thanks
for everything, now.
Oh, that's too bad.
Thanks for everything, Rick.
We've enjoyed it. Well,
I'm glad you came up, Fred.
See you in the morning.
Good-bye, Ethel.
You cut that out.
Good night. Good night.
Good night.
Oh...
Gee...
( sighs)
Aren't they wonderful people?
Yeah, they sure are
a lot of fun, honey.
Oh, I had such a
good time tonight.
I want to live in this
apartment the rest of my life.
Well, honey, I think that
you and I and Fred and Ethel
are fated to go
through life together.
Yep. Hey, look.
Ethel left her rings here.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
You know, honey,
she's absolutely right.
People ought to do
more singing in this world.
That's right, honey.
( chuckles)
Yes, sir, they sure
should sing... everybody.
"Sweet Sue."
( playing bouncy intro)
♪ Every star above
knows the one I love ♪
BOTH: ♪ Sweet Sue, just you ♪
♪ And the moon up high
knows the reason why ♪
♪ Sweet Sue, yes, you ♪
♪ No one else, it seems,
ever shared my dreams ♪
♪ And without you, dear,
I don't know what I'd do. ♪
Ya-da-bum, ba-de-dum,
ba-de-dum, bum-bum.
( thumping)
What was that?
I don't know.
Come on, let's go.
♪ In... this... heart
of mine, you l... ♪
( thumping)
That sounded like it came
from the Mertz apartment.
Oh, no, honey, it couldn't be.
No, I guess not.
♪ You live all the... ♪
( thump)
♪ Time. ♪
( thump, thump)
♪ Sweet Sue, it's you. ♪
( thump)
( phone rings)
Hello?
ETHEL: Hello, Lucy?
Hi, Ethel, what's you...
what's on your mind?
What's going on
up there, anyway?
Oh, we're singing "Sweet Sue."
Want to come up
for another chorus?
Do you know what time it is?
How do you expect
anybody to get to sleep?
Why, Ethel, what's the matter?
You thought it was fine
when you were up here.
Well, I'm down here
now and I think it's lousy.
Well, really, Ethel!
How can you change
in such a short time?
Good night, Lucy.
Good night.
What's the matter with Ethel?
She must've walked downstairs
too fast and gotten the bends.
What?
Well, she's a little grumpy
because we're making noise.
Well, I thought
she... Well, so did I.
She'll be over
it in the morning.
Come on, honey,
let's go to bed. All right.
♪ Da-da da-da-da,
da-da, da-da-da... ♪
94, 95, 96...
97, 98, 99, 100.
( sighs)
( bangs)
( bangs)
Oh, no, you don't.
( bangs)
( bangs)
( bangs)
Now, Ricky...
All right, all right,
we'll compromise.
That's a compromise?
( bangs)
( rattling)
Now, what do you want
me to do, freeze to death?
( phone rings) A little fresh
air isn't going to hurt you
you hothouse plant.
( ringing continues)
Hello?
FRED: Will you cut
out that racket up there?
Fred?
Yes, Fred!
How do you expect
people to get any sleep?
Well, I was only
closing the windows.
What with? A sledgehammer?
Now listen, Fred...
Listen, my foot.
Now, let's have
it quiet up there!
Huh, how do you like that?
"Let's have it quiet
up there!" he says.
Some lousy landlords they are.
Yeah.
Nerts to the Mertz.
Yeah.
Well... good night, baby.
Good night, honey.
( water dripping)
( dripping continues)
( dripping continues)
Oh, no.
The shower is dripping.
Yep, sure is.
Somebody should
get up and fix it.
Yep, somebody should.
Well?
Well?
This isn't getting us anyplace.
We'll both get up and fix it.
What?
That's the only fair way.
When I count to three,
we'll both jump out of bed.
All right.
You ready? Ready.
Okay.
One...
two...
three!
Apparently, we
can't trust either of us.
Apparently.
Well, as far as I'm concerned,
that shower can drip all night.
I just don't care.
I won't pay any attention to it.
All right, neither will I.
All right. All right.
( dripping continues)
( dripping continues)
( dripping volume increasing)
I can't stand it anymore!
I can't stand it, I tell you!
I can't stand it!
I can't stand it anymore!
I can't stand it!
( banging and shouting)
What are you doing?
I can't lock it
up! I can't lock it!
I'm going to use the wrench.
( phone rings) Oh...
( banging continuing)
Hello?
What's going on up there now?!
Ricky's trying to fix some
of your antique plumbing!
That's what's going on!
Oh, no.
Let me talk to him!
All right!
Fred wants to talk to you!
Just a minute!
Just a minute!
( banging continues)
( water rushing)
( Ricky shouting): Oh, no, no!
Oh, Ricky!
Ricky, what happened?!
What happened?! What happened?!
Oh...
Oh...
The pipe broke,
that's what happened!
Oh, honey, you're all wet.
Give me that phone! Hello!
Listen, lunkhead, stop
pounding on those pipes!
Listen, you old poop
why don't you put some
decent plumbing in this firetrap?!
We will, as soon as we
get some decent tenants!
Yeah? Well, maybe
you'd like us to move.
That'd suit me fine.
All right, all right!
That settles it... we're moving!
Good-bye and good riddance!
Good-bye!
We're moving!
Good!
They're moving.
Good!
I wouldn't stay in this
crummy apartment
with those horrible
Mertzes if you paid me.
FRED: Hello!
Hello. I'd like to
speak to Mrs. Mertz.
Hello.
Whoever told you you
could play the piano?!
( doorbell buzzing)
Good morning.
I hate to bother
you, Mrs. Ricardo,
but I believe I left
my diamond rings
on your piano last night.
Yes, you did, Mrs. Mertz.
I'd be very happy
to get them for you.
Oh, don't bother.
I'll get them...
if they're still there.
I don't know why
you should worry.
You can always buy
another box of Cracker Jack.
I'll have you know
these are real diamonds.
Ha!
Mrs. Ricardo, would you
be so kind as to inform me
just when we are to be deprived
of your charming company?
Very shortly.
Good.
Thank you.
My, it'll certainly be nice
getting away from such
disagreeable people.
It certainly will.
Would you like to
give me the check
for the next five
months' rent now?
Of course, I'd be delighted.
What do you mean "the
next five months' rent"?
Well, if you're leaving,
you have to pay off your lease.
Our lease?!
Yes, don't you remember?
You begged me on bended
knee to give you a lease
just so that no
one else could have
this fantastically
inexpensive, lovely apartment.
Oh, you mean that one-sided,
unfair, binding contract
that we were forced to sign
before you would
grant us the privilege
of moving into this
broken-down hovel?
"Broken-down" is right.
Look at this place.
It'll take the next five
month" rent to redecorate.
Redecorate?
Yes.
After we fumigate.
You can leave the
check in my mailbox.
( door slams)
I...
Ooh!
Honey, I don't
seem to be able to...
Oh, shut up!
What's the matter with you?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Ethel was just up here and
she made me so darn mad!
What now?
She says she... they're
going to hold us to our lease.
We have to give
them five months' rent
before we can leave!
I guess we're stuck here.
Well, now that,
uh... that all depends.
On what?
On whether we can, uh,
break the lease or not.
Do you think we can?
Mm... could be.
What's on your mind?
We are going to become the
two most unpleasant, disagreeable,
nasty people in the whole world.
But how?
We'll force ourselves.
Oh, boy.
Let's see, now.
What can we think of that'll
make them kick us out?
Nah...
Think nastier.
We'll get it.
Hiya, honey.
Hi!
How's my little
lease-breaker doing?
Just fine.
Ha, ha! That's good.
How'd things go at rehearsal?
Oh, pretty good, honey.
( door slams)
Look.
( whirs)
What's that?
A riveter's hammer. Watch.
( clattering loudly)
( laughing)
Hey, that's very good.
That's very good.
I'm surprised they
haven't moved out.
I have quite a schedule. Yeah?
Oh, it's time to make
another call to Ethel.
Let me, let me, let me do this.
( whirring loudly)
( clattering loudly)
( hammer bit falls out)
Hey! What happened?
Shh... get this. Yeah?
Hello, this is the Ajax
Salvage Company.
We buy old glass.
I understand you have some rings
that you're
interested in selling.
( whirring loudly)
Oh, she's furious!
Oh, am I glad I'm on your side!
( both laughing)
We'll break that lease yet.
Now, remember, when
you come home tonight
make a lot of noise.
Oh, that reminds me.
I won't be home till
late tonight, honey.
Why? Well, we have to rehearse
for a couple of hours
after the club closes.
Ricky, why don't you
have the rehearsal here?
Honey, are you crazy?
I got a 16-piece band.
I'll blow the
roof off the joint.
Well... doesn't look like rain.
I'll do it.
( laughs)
I'll do it.
Good.
( playing loud,
jazzy Latin number)
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
( singing in Spanish)
♪ A cumba, cumba,
cumba cumbachero ♪
♪ ¡Chero! ♪
♪ A bongo, bongo,
bongo, bongosero ♪
♪ ¡Bongosero! ♪
( continues singing in Spanish)
♪ ...Bongosero que se va. ♪
♪ ¡Bongosero que se va! ♪
( cheering and applauding)
Oh, that was wonderful!
That's the best number
you've done since midnight.
( laughing)
What time is it?
Uh, 4:30.
All right, now let's
have a loud one.
A loud one? Yeah.
All right.
Listen, I wonder how Fred
and Ethel are enjoying it.
Well, they have
a lot of courage.
I haven't heard a
peep out of them.
Oh, boy, this is swell.
No. Isn't it?
Honey, who are all these people?
I don't know, but
the more, the noisier.
Yeah?
All right, we'll dedicate
the next number
to Fred and Ethel Mertz.
Great! All right. Fred
and Ethel Mertz?
Yes, our lovely landlords.
They won't hear this.
They're still
down in the street.
Down in the street?
Yes, they have a big sign
that says, "Jam Session
Tonight: Ricky Ricardo in Person"
and they're selling tickets.
Oh, no!
Oh!
RICKY: How do you like that?
I'm going down there
and give them a piece
of my mind. Yeah!
Oh, they're back
in their apartment.
It was too cold outside.
LUCY: Oh... They
sold us the last tickets.
Oh, they're back in
their apartment, are they?
Well, we'll dedicate
the next number
to Fred and Ethel Mertz...
An old Cuban folk dance
called "El Break-o the Lease-o."
"El Break-o the Lease-o"? Yes.
How does this old
Cuban folk dance go?
♪ Da-dum, da-dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Da-da-da,
da-da-da, da-dum... ♪
Oh, "La Raspa!" "La Raspa!"
Everybody!
( band plays
"Mexican Hat Dance")
( doorbell buzzing incessantly)
( music continues)
( music stops)
( coughing)
Okay...
Okay, you win.
Here's your lease.
♪ Ba da... ba-da-dah... ♪
( band resumes playing
"Mexican Hat Dance")
Is that all, honey?
I think so.
Gee, it'll certainly be good
to get out of this
joint, won't it?
Yeah. Did you tell Ethel
we were moving today?
Well, I haven't seen her
since she brought up the lease.
I mailed her a note
telling her to come up
and get the keys today.
What shall I do about this?
What is it?
It's a picture of us
and Fred and Ethel
taken in Atlantic
City last summer.
Oh.
We sure had a lot of
fun there, didn't we?
Yeah.
What shall I do, throw it away?
Oh, no, no, I'd better pack it.
Huh?
Well, we can always cut
them out with a scissors.
What are all these things here?
Oh, they're some things
I borrowed from Ethel.
She has a lot of my things, too
if she hasn't sold them.
You know, I got a lot of
tools that belong to Fred.
Some of them we bought together.
What shall I do with those?
I don't know.
Gee, it's amazing we could
have been such good friends
with a couple of stinkers.
Yeah... we sure had a lot
of fun in the last nine years...
until they showed
their true colors.
Yeah.
Well, that just shows
you how sneaky they are.
Yeah.
Here, honey, you want
some paper for that? Yeah.
( doorbell buzzing)
Come in, come in, please.
All these are yours.
Oh, thanks.
Uh...
These are yours, I guess.
Thanks. It's all right.
Here's some things of yours
that somehow got
into my apartment.
Thanks.
There are some of your things
that I managed to get hold of.
It's all there.
You can count it if you like.
Oh, well, that won't be
necessary, Mrs. Mertz.
( crying): I trust you.
You do?
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
look, uh, Fred, uh
it doesn't matter
to me, you know,
but, uh, for some
crazy reason or other,
I think Lucy wants to stay.
Don't you, Lucy?
( bawling)
Well, it doesn't
matter to me either,
but it's, uh, up to Ethel.
What do you say, honey?
( bawling)
( both wailing)
I... ( chuckles)
You heard what the girls said.
I guess we're staying, eh?
Yeah.
Only-only this time,
I want a long lease
so that we don't
ever get kicked out.
Well...
Fred...
Well, what do you know?
I just happen to
have a new lease
already made out.
Oh, how wonderful!
Let's... Help me unpack!
Unpack?! Yeah! Yeah!
You're staying!
( all talking excitedly)
( "I Love Lucy"
theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: I Love
Lucy is a Desilu production.