I Dream of Jeannie (1965–1970): Season 5, Episode 7 - The Blood of Jeannie - full transcript
Jeannie and Tony go shopping for her wedding ring before they take their mandatory blood tests. Complicating things is the fact that besides the usual red and white corpuscles, genies also have green corpuscles. Because of this, they ask Roger if they can use his blood. However, Roger got a series of inoculations and now Doctor Bellows thinks that Jeannie is a walking germ factory and now forces her to undergo a full physical, including having her eyes dilated and as a result she can't blink. Unfortunately, prior to having her eyes dilated, Jeannie blinked the entire jewelry store into Tony's office to catch a pickpocket who lifted Tony's wallet and worse yet it is during a security drill where no one can enter or exit the base. The things people go through so they can get married.
[♪]
Ooh, I cannot make up my mind.
Heh.
They are both so beautiful.
Well, Jeannie, I-it's silly
to rush an important thing
like selecting
an engagement ring.
And, uh, we do have
the blood test to get.
And I've gotta be
back at the base at 10
for the practice alert.
So why don't we select it
tomorrow?
Well, children,
have you decided?
They are both lovely.
And both unique.
One-of-a-kind diamonds
for the one-of-a-kind bride.
Well, thank you, sir.
I think we best come back
tomorrow. Thank you.
Well, now, that's something
more like what I had in mind.
Master, that lady
is taking my ring.
Huh? Shhh,
don't call me master.
It's all right.
There are plenty of rings.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
That's all right.
No harm done.
Uh, excuse me.
Is, uh, my watch ready?
Yes.
Just one moment.
My, what beautiful rings.
Master, that woman has my rings.
Shhh, Jeannie.
We won't need the rings
unless we get a blood test.
There's a doctor right around
the corner. We can get a blood...
Hey, wait a minute.
I was just thinking.
There's nothing peculiar
about your blood, is there?
Oh, well,
of course not, darling.
Genies have blood
just like everyone else.
With corpuscles.
Red and green.
[CHUCKLES] Good.
[♪]
Green?
[♪]
[♪]
[♪]
Gotta be a way.
There just has to be a way.
Well, I think it is
perfectly silly of you
not to take advantage
of my natural talents.
Oh, darling, how many times
have I told you,
you can't blink away
every little problem, you know?
Oh, well, this is not
a little problem.
If we do not have
our blood test,
we cannot get
our marriage license.
And if we do not have
our marriage license,
we cannot get married.
I know, I know, I know, I...
Well, if I'm gonna marry you,
I just have to learn
to compromise, that's all.
Oh, I am glad I have
such a sensible master.
[CHUCKLES]
Now, tell me.
Mm?
What is in it?
What's in what?
Blood.
Oh. Oh, well, uh,
there's, uh, red corpuscles
and, uh, white corpuscles.
White corpuscles.
And, uh, uh...
Well, a bunch of other stuff.
What other stuff?
[CHUCKLES] Well, I don't know.
Nobody knows everything
that's in it.
Well, how can I possibly
blink it
if I do not know what is in it?
Well, just...
think blood, I guess.
I don't know.
Ooh, well, I could not do that.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, that's right.
You know what? We're right
back where we started from.
We're gonna have to g-get
ahold of some normal blood.
Hi, Jeannie, Tony.
Practice alert
starts in 10 minutes.
[♪]
W-why are you both
looking at me like that?
What, uh...?
What's...?
What's the matter?
Is everything all right?
BELLOWS: I'd be delighted to
give you both a blood test.
Anything to further the cause
of true love.
Well, shall it be ladies first?
Uh, no, sir.
I'll go first.
I wanna show Jeannie
it doesn't hurt.
Well, I-if you do not mind,
Anthony,
I would rather not watch.
I shall wait out in the hall.
Yeah. She's a little squeamish.
Ha-ha-ha. Well,
just remove your coat, major.
Yes.
Listen, can you get
somebody else?
I don't mind giving you the
shirt off my back, but my blood?
Please, Major Healey.
This is very important.
Yeah, but Dr. Bellows has been
stabbing and jabbing at me
all day long.
Why, are you sick?
No, it's just
a routine checkup, but...
[TONY SCREAMS]
Oh, that is the signal.
Wait a minute.
Well.
Are you all right, darling?
Are you all right?
Oh, he's fine.
I didn't know
you were squeamish too.
I'm sorry, sir.
Be brave, darling.
BELLOWS: I hope you'll
be more courageous
than your friend here.
You're next, Jeannie.
Well, let me see.
Uh, Jeannie?
Yes, doctor?
You don't have to go behind
there. It's just a blood test.
If you do not mind,
I would rather not watch.
Well, if you don't wanna look,
you can just close your eyes.
TONY:
I wonder if you could humor her.
She's a... She's a little
squeamish about this.
It's the first time she's...
I understand.
All right then, just stick your
arm right through the curtain.
The watch, the watch.
Did you say something?
Eh, I...
I said... Ha.
I-I said, thank you, doctor,
for... For not making me watch.
Oh. Now, we're just gonna
tie this around here
to spot a vein.
There we are.
Now, if it gets too tight,
you let me know.
My, that's quite a muscular arm.
She plays a lot of tennis, sir.
Oh.
Now, let me see.
Well, now, just hold it steady.
Oh!
Oop. There, now,
that didn't hurt
too much, did it?
Oh, no, doctor.
That did not hurt me a bit.
BELLOWS: There we are.
We'll just put a little...
cotton there.
Now, it'll just
take a few minutes
to run these through to the lab.
Right.
BELLOWS: Oh, uh, I'll
need your other hand.
[WHISPERS] No, no.
Why don't you go get it?
No.
Oh, Jeannie, your other hand.
There we are. Now.
Well, that's strange.
Your left arm isn't nearly
as muscular as your right.
Uh, she's right-handed, sir.
Ohhh.
And this one is wearing nail
polish, while the other one...
She didn't have time
to finish it this morning.
Hadn't we better get the blood
to the laboratory?
Uh, oh, oh, yes, yes.
Here we are.
You know, uh, uh, major,
it seems to me,
she's such a slender girl to
have a muscular arm like that.
Yes,
she's unusual in every respect.
Major Healey,
you almost spoiled everything.
Why did you make me use
my own arm?
Because Dr. Bellows gave me
five injections in that arm
this morning.
He'd have recognized it.
Oh.
Yeah.
What did he inject?
Oh, the usual.
The usual?
Yeah. Tetanus, typhus,
yellow fever, cholera.
The works.
Ooh, good.
Yeah, good.
Cholera?
Typhoid and yellow fever?
Dr. Bellows said that all
of them showed up in your blood.
Well, naturally.
Isn't that the idea?
Roger, the idea is that it was
supposed to be Jeannie's blood.
Dr. Bellows thinks
she's a walking epidemic.
Well, that is better than
thinking I'm a walking genie.
Ah, no. No, darling.
Not much better.
Dr. Bellows is not gonna
give us that certificate
until he gives you
a full examination
and another blood test.
Wait a minute.
I don't mind masquerading
as Jeannie's arm,
but they're not gonna...
Oh, Roger, don't be ridiculous.
Oh, master, I do not
think it is a good idea
for Dr. Bellows
to examine me.
Yes, I... I think we're
all in agreement on that.
Now, you just go home
and I'll think of something.
Oh, uh, excuse me.
Dr. Bellows.
Now, Jeannie, uh,
there's nothing to worry about.
We're gonna find out
exactly what's going on.
I hope not.
That's very kind of you, sir,
but, uh, not today.
You see, Jeannie, uh...
I do not feel very well.
Well, of course you don't.
That's why we're
going to examine you.
No, no, sir.
She really can't today.
She... She has, uh,
an appointment with her dentist.
Hairdresser.
Mechanic.
Dentist, hairdresser, mechanic?
Which is it?
Uh, all three, sir.
She has a very busy schedule
this afternoon.
I said before
this is far more important.
[ALARM WAILS]
Argh! What is that?
Eh, that, uh...
That's a practice alert.
It's okay.
Yes. For the next four hours,
this base will be
entirely sealed off.
No one will enter or leave.
Now, shall we proceed
with the examination?
Well, uh, I believe that, uh,
Major Nelson, Major Healey,
you, uh, have a few checkpoints
to inspect.
Now, I'll see you in five
minutes in the examining room.
Thank you, doctor.
Thank you.
I'll get that, sir.
Thank you, doc... Dr. Bellows.
Goodbye, master.
I-I am going to Ormandy's.
What are you going
to Ormandy's for?
W-w-well, I only have
five minutes,
and that woman may buy my ring.
No, no, no, no. Look, uh,
uh, call 'em on the phone.
I-I got the telephone
number in my wallet.
Wait a minute.
My wallet's gone.
[GASPS]
That guy I ran into.
The guy that bumped me.
He stole my wallet.
He picked my pocket.
Ooh, that is terrible.
I will boil him...
No, no, no.
Don't do anything...
I wasn't sure.
Well, I am sure.
Well, it might've been...
Come on, Tony. The alert!
Huh? Oh.
I'll...
What are you doing?
Don't kiss her. She may
have some of those diseases.
Huh?
[WAILS]
Oh.
Five minutes. Oh.
Hello? Hello.
I would like to speak to
Ormandy's jewelry store, please.
WOMAN: Sorry, no outside
calls during the alert.
Oh,
b-but this is very import...
[LINE GOES DEAD]
Oh.
Five minutes.
[♪]
[GIGGLES]
Uh, just a minute, please.
I believe you have
my master's wallet.
Mm-hm.
[♪]
Taxi! Taxi!
[♪]
Somebody moved the street.
Something,
somebody moved the street.
I would like my master's wallet,
please.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Oh, yes, you do.
This morning in Ormandy's
you stole my fiancé's wallet,
and I want it back.
L-look, lady,
I'll make a deal with you.
You can have the wallet back if
you'll just tell me where I am.
Oh, well, that seems fair.
You're at NASA.
So? Where's Ormandy's?
Well, for the moment,
right through that door.
I'll take my chances
with Ormandy.
But wait.
We made a deal. Ugh.
Oh, ah, all right,
Jeannie, we're ready.
Uh, who were you talking to?
Oh, uh, a man who has
Anthony's wallet.
And he came all the way to NASA
to return it?
Why, that's marvelous
how honest some people are.
Oh, we're ready to get started
with the examination. This way.
[CHUCKLES]
[♪]
Now, let me see. You've decided
on the brooch and the bracelet.
Now, what about the ring?
I'm sure your daughter
would adore that.
WOMAN: Oh, I just can't
seem to make up my mind.
[STOMPS FOOT]
Mama was right.
Crime doesn't pay.
Oh, let me look at that.
Oh, that's an adorable little
canary-yellow diamond
set in platinum
with a tiny filigree design
right around there.
Oh, that's charming.
I like the color too.
[♪]
Dr. Bellows,
you do not understand.
I understand perfectly.
Like all young people,
you feel that you don't need
a complete physical examination.
Well, let me tell you, any young
couple contemplating marriage
should definitely...
[HUMMING]
ORMANDY: I'm sorry. That
lamp isn't for sale.
Ah, yeah.
I-I was just admiring it.
You really can't tell in here,
Mrs. Horlick.
Step outside and see it
in the sunlight.
[♪]
Oh.
Major.
Come back to have
another look at the rings?
The rings? Uh, yes. Mm-hm.
I'm just about to show
one of them to Mrs. Horlick
in the sunlight,
if you'll excuse me.
No.
Uh, what I mean is, you... You
wouldn't like it out there, sir.
It's gotten very cloudy.
Overcast.
You can't see a thing.
Why, how ridiculous.
It's a clear, sunny day.
Oh, no. No, really. I, uh...
A tropical storm just came up.
Major, would you kindly
stand aside?
It's hurricane weather.
I'm not kidding.
I would advise you to get
your storm...
Excuse me, lady,
could I borrow a hairpin?
Don't open the window. Don't...
Mr. Ormandy, look.
Ah. Oh.
Not a cloud in the sky.
Now, see here, major, if you're
trying to prevent this lady
from buying your fiancée's ring
by making up this story...
[DOOR OPENS]
Hi, Tony.
Oh, too bad we have to be inside
on such a beautiful day.
Hey, you redecorated.
Mr. Ormandy, would you kindly
tell me what is going on here?
Well, it's really very simple,
Mrs. Horlick.
You see, that man
and his fiancée were in here
looking at rings this morning.
Roger, would you come over here,
please?
Yeah.
Uh, how do you like that?
Oh, a nice job.
Quick too. Quick.
Hey, you wouldn't happen to have
a hacksaw on you, would you?
Oh, you decorators never
carry your own tools. Ha, ha.
TONY:
Roger, come over here.
Yeah, yeah. This...
This is really nice.
It's a little jewelry-store
modern, but nice.
It is a jewelry store.
Jeannie blinked it here.
Nice, huh?
Well, in that case, maybe I can
have my watch fixed. It's slow.
Roger, forget about your wat...
I... I've gotta find Jeannie and
have her blink this place back.
You stand guard here and don't
you let anybody in or out.
Wait a minute. What if somebody
wants to go home?
Don't let 'em. They'll walk
right out into a NASA corridor.
Listen, major, I'll give you
back your wallet if you'll...
Nobody listens.
He's probably gone to get
his fiancée now.
Well, if he feels as strongly
as that about the ring,
let him have it.
Send the other things
to my house.
ROGER:
Don't go, don't go, don't go.
Major, Mrs. Horlick
has very kindly decided
to let your friend
have that ring,
so don't you start
causing trouble.
Oh, well, we have lots of rings.
Oh, here's a nice zircon
over here...
Young man,
take your hands off me.
Oh, no, no.
Major, if this nonsense
doesn't cease instantly,
I shall have to call the police.
No, don't!
What is going on here?
Yes, what's going on?
What's going on here?!
What's going on here? Uh...
Uh...
It's a stickup.
Oh.
Everybody against the safe.
Against the safe. Come on.
Listen, major, if you'll just
give me a hand with these cuffs,
I'll give you a hand.
[♪]
Look up, please, Jeannie.
[CLICKS]
There.
Dr. Bellows, what is that
you just put in my eyes?
Well, just something
to dilate the pupils.
Now, uh, follow my finger.
But it feels funny.
And I do not seem
to be able to blink.
That's right.
But don't worry.
It'll wear off
in an hour or two.
Well, everything normal there.
Now, uh, cross your legs,
please.
Hm? Oh.
[♪]
Well, that's odd.
Oh, hello,
Dr. Bellows.
How's everything coming along?
Fine, darling.
Oh, uh, Major Nelson,
I want you to see this.
That's the patella reflex.
Her knee is supposed
to jerk forward.
Your knee is supposed
to jerk forward.
Oh, my knee is supposed
to jerk forward.
You're hitting the wrong place.
Major, please. I'm a doctor.
Oh, for heaven's sakes.
What's going on here?
Can't you see what you're doing?
Please blink Ormandy's back.
Oh, master, that man with
your wallet is in there, and I...
I don't care.
I want you to blink it back.
I am afraid it is impossible,
master. I cannot blink.
Huh?
That's right.
She cannot blink.
Her pupils are dilated. Ha, ha.
Well, that isn't too serious,
is it, Jeannie?
Unless, of course, you want
to, uh, flirt with me.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Oh, Dr. Bellows.
Uh, sir, how long will it take
for the chemical to wear off?
Oh, an hour, half-hour.
Depends on the individual.
And how long is the examination
gonna last, sir?
I'm finished.
And I'm delighted to report
that Jeannie
is a perfectly healthy girl.
Oh, well, thank you,
Dr. Bellows.
Could we have
the certificate now?
Oh, yes.
Uh, as soon as I have this, uh,
second blood sample analyzed.
Oh, major, what is the matter?
Sorry. I'll get it. I...
You took another sample, sir,
of, uh, Jeannie's blood?
Yes, we did.
Undoubtedly they made a mistake
the first time.
Uh, I'm happy to announce
that Jeannie hasn't got
one single abnormal symptom.
Oh, good.
Ow!
What's the matter with you?
You almost made me drop it.
I'm awfully sorry, sir.
Why don't I take this sample
of blood to...?
Over to the laboratory...?
Never mind. I'll...
Please, major... Whoa!
You are the clumsiest...
TONY: I know.
I'm just not used to being here.
I'll get it. I'll get it.
I'm awfully sorry.
[♪]
You are without a doubt the
slowest crook I've ever seen.
I just can't hold my hands up
any longer.
All right, all right,
you can put 'em down.
But don't try
to make a break for it.
No, the base is sealed... I mean,
the jewelry store is sealed off.
Major, if you're going
to rob this store,
would you kindly rob it?
Uh, well, I, uh,
can't decide what I want.
Maybe you could, uh,
show me something you like.
Oh, well, we have this lovely
teardrop neck... Uh, major.
Would you please rob the store?
I want to call
the insurance company.
Well, I can't decide
what to steal.
Oh, Major Nelson,
I wish you'd be more careful
in the future.
I'm sorry.
This is one of my clumsy days.
I can see that.
Let me have this.
No, not the blood, sir.
Please.
We have some important
questions to ask you.
Oh, that is right.
Some questions.
Don't you want your certificate?
Of course we want
the certificate, sir, but...
Don't move.
What?
Don't move.
Why not?
There's a bee.
A bee?
A bee? Where? What?
The syringe. The syringe.
Where? What's the matter
with you? I don't see any bee.
Why, there's no bees.
Huh? Huh?
Well, open the door
and let him out.
Let him out.
We can't let him out.
Why not?
What's the matter with you?
[YELLS]
Will you stop this nonsense?
Get that thing.
Where?
I have thing for bees.
Give me hives. Ha-ha-ha!
[YELLS]
What are you doing?
Don't move. Don't move.
Get it. Get it.
[SCREAMS]
Not me, him.
I feel it. I feel
that Jeannie has swatted it.
I see it. Don't move.
Stay right there. I'll get it.
Now.
[SCREAMS]
Shhh.
There you are, sir.
Ooh, ooh.
That's a nasty one.
We better take a look at that,
sir.
Thank you.
Excuse me. Huh?
Thank you.
Don't worry.
Don't look.
Don't look, sir.
[MUFFLED SPEECH]
Just a minute.
I'm not an intern.
I've seen blood before.
What's the matter with you?
Sir, how long do you think
it'll take
to get a report from the lab?
Oh, about 10 minutes.
Oh, good, good, good.
[SIGHS]
May I help you?
Oh.
[♪]
Master.
Huh?
Where is the bee?
There's no bee, darling.
Mwah.
You were beautiful.
You did it all by yourself.
You didn't blink.
Mm-mm.
You didn't blink?
Mm-mm.
Can you blink?
Mm...
Not yet.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Good. Good.
Well, we may have won
the battle, but we lost the war.
[♪]
What's that?
Uh, three.
That one?
S.
That one?
Uh...
X.
You better lie down.
We'll just have to wait
until the chemical wears off.
Here, lie down. Take it easy.
Rest your eyes, will you?
Oh, Dr. Bellows said it was only
gonna take about 10 minutes.
It's 15 already.
Oh, well, master, darling,
do not worry.
As you said, blood
is a very complicated thing.
After all, it has red corpuscles
and white corpuscles
and green corpuscles
and a bunch of other stuff.
Forget the green corpuscles.
Operator. Oh, operator, would
you get me the lab, please?
Yeah, the laboratory.
Master, what is this?
Huh? Oh, that...
That's a scale.
Oh. What does it do?
Uh, uh, it... It gives you
your weight, Jeannie.
Hello, the lab?
Uh, Dr. Bellows, please.
How does it work?
Uh, Alfred J... Uh, yeah.
Alfred Bellows.
That's right. Here.
Uh, yeah, I am.
Uh, oh, you see,
you get the average weight
about what you weigh here,
see, on the big one.
You slide this up and down
until it balances.
Where it balances, that tells
you what you weigh. Yeah, I am.
Master, what does it say?
Uh...
A hundred and twenty-seven.
It lied!
Shhh!
Oh, not you. No, sorry.
Uh, y-yes.
Yes, doc... Dr. Bellows.
He did?
Oh, but he was down there trying
to get us a rush-up job on...
On the blood sample.
Oh, all right.
[SIGHS] Where is he?
He went to Major Nelson's
office.
Oh.
[CRASHING]
Master!
[♪]
TONY:
Dr. Bellows!
Sir, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Dr. Bell...
He's... It's over.
The whole ball of wax...
Master, master.
He went into Ormandy's.
Master, I can blink.
Oh, great. You can blink.
I can blink, I can blink.
Great.
Well, of course you can blink.
I told you the dilation
would only last a little while.
See?
You can blink.
You can blink?
[LAUGHS] Oh.
A minor miracle, major.
Yeah.
Ha, ha.
I told you she could blink.
Now, if you'll stop
talking nonsense,
here's your certificate.
Congratulations.
I wish I had as healthy blood
as you, Jeannie.
Oh, I am sure that you do,
doctor.
Yeah.
Oh, by the way, uh,
there's a man in there
delivering a lamp for you.
How he ever got in here during
the alert, I'll never know.
Oh, I'm sure I can explain...
Eh, don't explain, major.
Dr. Bellows
is such a nice man.
Oh.
Oh.
I'll go straight.
I'll go straight.
Just don't make it happen again.
Get rid of him.
Your wallet.
No, I don't need it. Just
get rid of him. Get rid of him.
You got rid of everything else.
I don't...
Oh, great. Thanks a lot.
Mm-hm.
My wallet?
What do you mean, my wallet?
He's got my wallet?
Get him back here, will you?
Yes, master.
Thank you.
[CLEARS THROAT]
The wallet, please.
[STAMMERS]
Wallet.
Please, lay off me.
[♪]
[DOOR OPENS]
All right, over there.
Over there. Over there.
This must be a robbery.
How'd you get in here?
Eh, f-from the street.
Please don't hurt me.
Don't worry.
I won't hurt you.
Uh... miss?
Miss, it's okay.
Sir.
Sir, it's all right.
A one-of-a-kind diamond
for the one-of-a-kind bride.
Now, I, uh, hate to steal
and run, but, uh, I gotta go.
Uh, sorry, uh, I held you up.
Heh.
Bye.
I have the loveliest earrings
for this.
[♪]
Ooh, I cannot make up my mind.
Heh.
They are both so beautiful.
Well, Jeannie, I-it's silly
to rush an important thing
like selecting
an engagement ring.
And, uh, we do have
the blood test to get.
And I've gotta be
back at the base at 10
for the practice alert.
So why don't we select it
tomorrow?
Well, children,
have you decided?
They are both lovely.
And both unique.
One-of-a-kind diamonds
for the one-of-a-kind bride.
Well, thank you, sir.
I think we best come back
tomorrow. Thank you.
Well, now, that's something
more like what I had in mind.
Master, that lady
is taking my ring.
Huh? Shhh,
don't call me master.
It's all right.
There are plenty of rings.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
That's all right.
No harm done.
Uh, excuse me.
Is, uh, my watch ready?
Yes.
Just one moment.
My, what beautiful rings.
Master, that woman has my rings.
Shhh, Jeannie.
We won't need the rings
unless we get a blood test.
There's a doctor right around
the corner. We can get a blood...
Hey, wait a minute.
I was just thinking.
There's nothing peculiar
about your blood, is there?
Oh, well,
of course not, darling.
Genies have blood
just like everyone else.
With corpuscles.
Red and green.
[CHUCKLES] Good.
[♪]
Green?
[♪]
[♪]
[♪]
Gotta be a way.
There just has to be a way.
Well, I think it is
perfectly silly of you
not to take advantage
of my natural talents.
Oh, darling, how many times
have I told you,
you can't blink away
every little problem, you know?
Oh, well, this is not
a little problem.
If we do not have
our blood test,
we cannot get
our marriage license.
And if we do not have
our marriage license,
we cannot get married.
I know, I know, I know, I...
Well, if I'm gonna marry you,
I just have to learn
to compromise, that's all.
Oh, I am glad I have
such a sensible master.
[CHUCKLES]
Now, tell me.
Mm?
What is in it?
What's in what?
Blood.
Oh. Oh, well, uh,
there's, uh, red corpuscles
and, uh, white corpuscles.
White corpuscles.
And, uh, uh...
Well, a bunch of other stuff.
What other stuff?
[CHUCKLES] Well, I don't know.
Nobody knows everything
that's in it.
Well, how can I possibly
blink it
if I do not know what is in it?
Well, just...
think blood, I guess.
I don't know.
Ooh, well, I could not do that.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, that's right.
You know what? We're right
back where we started from.
We're gonna have to g-get
ahold of some normal blood.
Hi, Jeannie, Tony.
Practice alert
starts in 10 minutes.
[♪]
W-why are you both
looking at me like that?
What, uh...?
What's...?
What's the matter?
Is everything all right?
BELLOWS: I'd be delighted to
give you both a blood test.
Anything to further the cause
of true love.
Well, shall it be ladies first?
Uh, no, sir.
I'll go first.
I wanna show Jeannie
it doesn't hurt.
Well, I-if you do not mind,
Anthony,
I would rather not watch.
I shall wait out in the hall.
Yeah. She's a little squeamish.
Ha-ha-ha. Well,
just remove your coat, major.
Yes.
Listen, can you get
somebody else?
I don't mind giving you the
shirt off my back, but my blood?
Please, Major Healey.
This is very important.
Yeah, but Dr. Bellows has been
stabbing and jabbing at me
all day long.
Why, are you sick?
No, it's just
a routine checkup, but...
[TONY SCREAMS]
Oh, that is the signal.
Wait a minute.
Well.
Are you all right, darling?
Are you all right?
Oh, he's fine.
I didn't know
you were squeamish too.
I'm sorry, sir.
Be brave, darling.
BELLOWS: I hope you'll
be more courageous
than your friend here.
You're next, Jeannie.
Well, let me see.
Uh, Jeannie?
Yes, doctor?
You don't have to go behind
there. It's just a blood test.
If you do not mind,
I would rather not watch.
Well, if you don't wanna look,
you can just close your eyes.
TONY:
I wonder if you could humor her.
She's a... She's a little
squeamish about this.
It's the first time she's...
I understand.
All right then, just stick your
arm right through the curtain.
The watch, the watch.
Did you say something?
Eh, I...
I said... Ha.
I-I said, thank you, doctor,
for... For not making me watch.
Oh. Now, we're just gonna
tie this around here
to spot a vein.
There we are.
Now, if it gets too tight,
you let me know.
My, that's quite a muscular arm.
She plays a lot of tennis, sir.
Oh.
Now, let me see.
Well, now, just hold it steady.
Oh!
Oop. There, now,
that didn't hurt
too much, did it?
Oh, no, doctor.
That did not hurt me a bit.
BELLOWS: There we are.
We'll just put a little...
cotton there.
Now, it'll just
take a few minutes
to run these through to the lab.
Right.
BELLOWS: Oh, uh, I'll
need your other hand.
[WHISPERS] No, no.
Why don't you go get it?
No.
Oh, Jeannie, your other hand.
There we are. Now.
Well, that's strange.
Your left arm isn't nearly
as muscular as your right.
Uh, she's right-handed, sir.
Ohhh.
And this one is wearing nail
polish, while the other one...
She didn't have time
to finish it this morning.
Hadn't we better get the blood
to the laboratory?
Uh, oh, oh, yes, yes.
Here we are.
You know, uh, uh, major,
it seems to me,
she's such a slender girl to
have a muscular arm like that.
Yes,
she's unusual in every respect.
Major Healey,
you almost spoiled everything.
Why did you make me use
my own arm?
Because Dr. Bellows gave me
five injections in that arm
this morning.
He'd have recognized it.
Oh.
Yeah.
What did he inject?
Oh, the usual.
The usual?
Yeah. Tetanus, typhus,
yellow fever, cholera.
The works.
Ooh, good.
Yeah, good.
Cholera?
Typhoid and yellow fever?
Dr. Bellows said that all
of them showed up in your blood.
Well, naturally.
Isn't that the idea?
Roger, the idea is that it was
supposed to be Jeannie's blood.
Dr. Bellows thinks
she's a walking epidemic.
Well, that is better than
thinking I'm a walking genie.
Ah, no. No, darling.
Not much better.
Dr. Bellows is not gonna
give us that certificate
until he gives you
a full examination
and another blood test.
Wait a minute.
I don't mind masquerading
as Jeannie's arm,
but they're not gonna...
Oh, Roger, don't be ridiculous.
Oh, master, I do not
think it is a good idea
for Dr. Bellows
to examine me.
Yes, I... I think we're
all in agreement on that.
Now, you just go home
and I'll think of something.
Oh, uh, excuse me.
Dr. Bellows.
Now, Jeannie, uh,
there's nothing to worry about.
We're gonna find out
exactly what's going on.
I hope not.
That's very kind of you, sir,
but, uh, not today.
You see, Jeannie, uh...
I do not feel very well.
Well, of course you don't.
That's why we're
going to examine you.
No, no, sir.
She really can't today.
She... She has, uh,
an appointment with her dentist.
Hairdresser.
Mechanic.
Dentist, hairdresser, mechanic?
Which is it?
Uh, all three, sir.
She has a very busy schedule
this afternoon.
I said before
this is far more important.
[ALARM WAILS]
Argh! What is that?
Eh, that, uh...
That's a practice alert.
It's okay.
Yes. For the next four hours,
this base will be
entirely sealed off.
No one will enter or leave.
Now, shall we proceed
with the examination?
Well, uh, I believe that, uh,
Major Nelson, Major Healey,
you, uh, have a few checkpoints
to inspect.
Now, I'll see you in five
minutes in the examining room.
Thank you, doctor.
Thank you.
I'll get that, sir.
Thank you, doc... Dr. Bellows.
Goodbye, master.
I-I am going to Ormandy's.
What are you going
to Ormandy's for?
W-w-well, I only have
five minutes,
and that woman may buy my ring.
No, no, no, no. Look, uh,
uh, call 'em on the phone.
I-I got the telephone
number in my wallet.
Wait a minute.
My wallet's gone.
[GASPS]
That guy I ran into.
The guy that bumped me.
He stole my wallet.
He picked my pocket.
Ooh, that is terrible.
I will boil him...
No, no, no.
Don't do anything...
I wasn't sure.
Well, I am sure.
Well, it might've been...
Come on, Tony. The alert!
Huh? Oh.
I'll...
What are you doing?
Don't kiss her. She may
have some of those diseases.
Huh?
[WAILS]
Oh.
Five minutes. Oh.
Hello? Hello.
I would like to speak to
Ormandy's jewelry store, please.
WOMAN: Sorry, no outside
calls during the alert.
Oh,
b-but this is very import...
[LINE GOES DEAD]
Oh.
Five minutes.
[♪]
[GIGGLES]
Uh, just a minute, please.
I believe you have
my master's wallet.
Mm-hm.
[♪]
Taxi! Taxi!
[♪]
Somebody moved the street.
Something,
somebody moved the street.
I would like my master's wallet,
please.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Oh, yes, you do.
This morning in Ormandy's
you stole my fiancé's wallet,
and I want it back.
L-look, lady,
I'll make a deal with you.
You can have the wallet back if
you'll just tell me where I am.
Oh, well, that seems fair.
You're at NASA.
So? Where's Ormandy's?
Well, for the moment,
right through that door.
I'll take my chances
with Ormandy.
But wait.
We made a deal. Ugh.
Oh, ah, all right,
Jeannie, we're ready.
Uh, who were you talking to?
Oh, uh, a man who has
Anthony's wallet.
And he came all the way to NASA
to return it?
Why, that's marvelous
how honest some people are.
Oh, we're ready to get started
with the examination. This way.
[CHUCKLES]
[♪]
Now, let me see. You've decided
on the brooch and the bracelet.
Now, what about the ring?
I'm sure your daughter
would adore that.
WOMAN: Oh, I just can't
seem to make up my mind.
[STOMPS FOOT]
Mama was right.
Crime doesn't pay.
Oh, let me look at that.
Oh, that's an adorable little
canary-yellow diamond
set in platinum
with a tiny filigree design
right around there.
Oh, that's charming.
I like the color too.
[♪]
Dr. Bellows,
you do not understand.
I understand perfectly.
Like all young people,
you feel that you don't need
a complete physical examination.
Well, let me tell you, any young
couple contemplating marriage
should definitely...
[HUMMING]
ORMANDY: I'm sorry. That
lamp isn't for sale.
Ah, yeah.
I-I was just admiring it.
You really can't tell in here,
Mrs. Horlick.
Step outside and see it
in the sunlight.
[♪]
Oh.
Major.
Come back to have
another look at the rings?
The rings? Uh, yes. Mm-hm.
I'm just about to show
one of them to Mrs. Horlick
in the sunlight,
if you'll excuse me.
No.
Uh, what I mean is, you... You
wouldn't like it out there, sir.
It's gotten very cloudy.
Overcast.
You can't see a thing.
Why, how ridiculous.
It's a clear, sunny day.
Oh, no. No, really. I, uh...
A tropical storm just came up.
Major, would you kindly
stand aside?
It's hurricane weather.
I'm not kidding.
I would advise you to get
your storm...
Excuse me, lady,
could I borrow a hairpin?
Don't open the window. Don't...
Mr. Ormandy, look.
Ah. Oh.
Not a cloud in the sky.
Now, see here, major, if you're
trying to prevent this lady
from buying your fiancée's ring
by making up this story...
[DOOR OPENS]
Hi, Tony.
Oh, too bad we have to be inside
on such a beautiful day.
Hey, you redecorated.
Mr. Ormandy, would you kindly
tell me what is going on here?
Well, it's really very simple,
Mrs. Horlick.
You see, that man
and his fiancée were in here
looking at rings this morning.
Roger, would you come over here,
please?
Yeah.
Uh, how do you like that?
Oh, a nice job.
Quick too. Quick.
Hey, you wouldn't happen to have
a hacksaw on you, would you?
Oh, you decorators never
carry your own tools. Ha, ha.
TONY:
Roger, come over here.
Yeah, yeah. This...
This is really nice.
It's a little jewelry-store
modern, but nice.
It is a jewelry store.
Jeannie blinked it here.
Nice, huh?
Well, in that case, maybe I can
have my watch fixed. It's slow.
Roger, forget about your wat...
I... I've gotta find Jeannie and
have her blink this place back.
You stand guard here and don't
you let anybody in or out.
Wait a minute. What if somebody
wants to go home?
Don't let 'em. They'll walk
right out into a NASA corridor.
Listen, major, I'll give you
back your wallet if you'll...
Nobody listens.
He's probably gone to get
his fiancée now.
Well, if he feels as strongly
as that about the ring,
let him have it.
Send the other things
to my house.
ROGER:
Don't go, don't go, don't go.
Major, Mrs. Horlick
has very kindly decided
to let your friend
have that ring,
so don't you start
causing trouble.
Oh, well, we have lots of rings.
Oh, here's a nice zircon
over here...
Young man,
take your hands off me.
Oh, no, no.
Major, if this nonsense
doesn't cease instantly,
I shall have to call the police.
No, don't!
What is going on here?
Yes, what's going on?
What's going on here?!
What's going on here? Uh...
Uh...
It's a stickup.
Oh.
Everybody against the safe.
Against the safe. Come on.
Listen, major, if you'll just
give me a hand with these cuffs,
I'll give you a hand.
[♪]
Look up, please, Jeannie.
[CLICKS]
There.
Dr. Bellows, what is that
you just put in my eyes?
Well, just something
to dilate the pupils.
Now, uh, follow my finger.
But it feels funny.
And I do not seem
to be able to blink.
That's right.
But don't worry.
It'll wear off
in an hour or two.
Well, everything normal there.
Now, uh, cross your legs,
please.
Hm? Oh.
[♪]
Well, that's odd.
Oh, hello,
Dr. Bellows.
How's everything coming along?
Fine, darling.
Oh, uh, Major Nelson,
I want you to see this.
That's the patella reflex.
Her knee is supposed
to jerk forward.
Your knee is supposed
to jerk forward.
Oh, my knee is supposed
to jerk forward.
You're hitting the wrong place.
Major, please. I'm a doctor.
Oh, for heaven's sakes.
What's going on here?
Can't you see what you're doing?
Please blink Ormandy's back.
Oh, master, that man with
your wallet is in there, and I...
I don't care.
I want you to blink it back.
I am afraid it is impossible,
master. I cannot blink.
Huh?
That's right.
She cannot blink.
Her pupils are dilated. Ha, ha.
Well, that isn't too serious,
is it, Jeannie?
Unless, of course, you want
to, uh, flirt with me.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Oh, Dr. Bellows.
Uh, sir, how long will it take
for the chemical to wear off?
Oh, an hour, half-hour.
Depends on the individual.
And how long is the examination
gonna last, sir?
I'm finished.
And I'm delighted to report
that Jeannie
is a perfectly healthy girl.
Oh, well, thank you,
Dr. Bellows.
Could we have
the certificate now?
Oh, yes.
Uh, as soon as I have this, uh,
second blood sample analyzed.
Oh, major, what is the matter?
Sorry. I'll get it. I...
You took another sample, sir,
of, uh, Jeannie's blood?
Yes, we did.
Undoubtedly they made a mistake
the first time.
Uh, I'm happy to announce
that Jeannie hasn't got
one single abnormal symptom.
Oh, good.
Ow!
What's the matter with you?
You almost made me drop it.
I'm awfully sorry, sir.
Why don't I take this sample
of blood to...?
Over to the laboratory...?
Never mind. I'll...
Please, major... Whoa!
You are the clumsiest...
TONY: I know.
I'm just not used to being here.
I'll get it. I'll get it.
I'm awfully sorry.
[♪]
You are without a doubt the
slowest crook I've ever seen.
I just can't hold my hands up
any longer.
All right, all right,
you can put 'em down.
But don't try
to make a break for it.
No, the base is sealed... I mean,
the jewelry store is sealed off.
Major, if you're going
to rob this store,
would you kindly rob it?
Uh, well, I, uh,
can't decide what I want.
Maybe you could, uh,
show me something you like.
Oh, well, we have this lovely
teardrop neck... Uh, major.
Would you please rob the store?
I want to call
the insurance company.
Well, I can't decide
what to steal.
Oh, Major Nelson,
I wish you'd be more careful
in the future.
I'm sorry.
This is one of my clumsy days.
I can see that.
Let me have this.
No, not the blood, sir.
Please.
We have some important
questions to ask you.
Oh, that is right.
Some questions.
Don't you want your certificate?
Of course we want
the certificate, sir, but...
Don't move.
What?
Don't move.
Why not?
There's a bee.
A bee?
A bee? Where? What?
The syringe. The syringe.
Where? What's the matter
with you? I don't see any bee.
Why, there's no bees.
Huh? Huh?
Well, open the door
and let him out.
Let him out.
We can't let him out.
Why not?
What's the matter with you?
[YELLS]
Will you stop this nonsense?
Get that thing.
Where?
I have thing for bees.
Give me hives. Ha-ha-ha!
[YELLS]
What are you doing?
Don't move. Don't move.
Get it. Get it.
[SCREAMS]
Not me, him.
I feel it. I feel
that Jeannie has swatted it.
I see it. Don't move.
Stay right there. I'll get it.
Now.
[SCREAMS]
Shhh.
There you are, sir.
Ooh, ooh.
That's a nasty one.
We better take a look at that,
sir.
Thank you.
Excuse me. Huh?
Thank you.
Don't worry.
Don't look.
Don't look, sir.
[MUFFLED SPEECH]
Just a minute.
I'm not an intern.
I've seen blood before.
What's the matter with you?
Sir, how long do you think
it'll take
to get a report from the lab?
Oh, about 10 minutes.
Oh, good, good, good.
[SIGHS]
May I help you?
Oh.
[♪]
Master.
Huh?
Where is the bee?
There's no bee, darling.
Mwah.
You were beautiful.
You did it all by yourself.
You didn't blink.
Mm-mm.
You didn't blink?
Mm-mm.
Can you blink?
Mm...
Not yet.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Good. Good.
Well, we may have won
the battle, but we lost the war.
[♪]
What's that?
Uh, three.
That one?
S.
That one?
Uh...
X.
You better lie down.
We'll just have to wait
until the chemical wears off.
Here, lie down. Take it easy.
Rest your eyes, will you?
Oh, Dr. Bellows said it was only
gonna take about 10 minutes.
It's 15 already.
Oh, well, master, darling,
do not worry.
As you said, blood
is a very complicated thing.
After all, it has red corpuscles
and white corpuscles
and green corpuscles
and a bunch of other stuff.
Forget the green corpuscles.
Operator. Oh, operator, would
you get me the lab, please?
Yeah, the laboratory.
Master, what is this?
Huh? Oh, that...
That's a scale.
Oh. What does it do?
Uh, uh, it... It gives you
your weight, Jeannie.
Hello, the lab?
Uh, Dr. Bellows, please.
How does it work?
Uh, Alfred J... Uh, yeah.
Alfred Bellows.
That's right. Here.
Uh, yeah, I am.
Uh, oh, you see,
you get the average weight
about what you weigh here,
see, on the big one.
You slide this up and down
until it balances.
Where it balances, that tells
you what you weigh. Yeah, I am.
Master, what does it say?
Uh...
A hundred and twenty-seven.
It lied!
Shhh!
Oh, not you. No, sorry.
Uh, y-yes.
Yes, doc... Dr. Bellows.
He did?
Oh, but he was down there trying
to get us a rush-up job on...
On the blood sample.
Oh, all right.
[SIGHS] Where is he?
He went to Major Nelson's
office.
Oh.
[CRASHING]
Master!
[♪]
TONY:
Dr. Bellows!
Sir, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Dr. Bell...
He's... It's over.
The whole ball of wax...
Master, master.
He went into Ormandy's.
Master, I can blink.
Oh, great. You can blink.
I can blink, I can blink.
Great.
Well, of course you can blink.
I told you the dilation
would only last a little while.
See?
You can blink.
You can blink?
[LAUGHS] Oh.
A minor miracle, major.
Yeah.
Ha, ha.
I told you she could blink.
Now, if you'll stop
talking nonsense,
here's your certificate.
Congratulations.
I wish I had as healthy blood
as you, Jeannie.
Oh, I am sure that you do,
doctor.
Yeah.
Oh, by the way, uh,
there's a man in there
delivering a lamp for you.
How he ever got in here during
the alert, I'll never know.
Oh, I'm sure I can explain...
Eh, don't explain, major.
Dr. Bellows
is such a nice man.
Oh.
Oh.
I'll go straight.
I'll go straight.
Just don't make it happen again.
Get rid of him.
Your wallet.
No, I don't need it. Just
get rid of him. Get rid of him.
You got rid of everything else.
I don't...
Oh, great. Thanks a lot.
Mm-hm.
My wallet?
What do you mean, my wallet?
He's got my wallet?
Get him back here, will you?
Yes, master.
Thank you.
[CLEARS THROAT]
The wallet, please.
[STAMMERS]
Wallet.
Please, lay off me.
[♪]
[DOOR OPENS]
All right, over there.
Over there. Over there.
This must be a robbery.
How'd you get in here?
Eh, f-from the street.
Please don't hurt me.
Don't worry.
I won't hurt you.
Uh... miss?
Miss, it's okay.
Sir.
Sir, it's all right.
A one-of-a-kind diamond
for the one-of-a-kind bride.
Now, I, uh, hate to steal
and run, but, uh, I gotta go.
Uh, sorry, uh, I held you up.
Heh.
Bye.
I have the loveliest earrings
for this.
[♪]