I Dream of Jeannie (1965–1970): Season 4, Episode 9 - Jeannie and the Top Secret - full transcript

[♪]

[♪]

Jeannie?

Jeannie, I have
a surprise for you.

Happy anniversary.

Oh.

[GIGGLES]

Oh, master. Mwah.
You remembered.

Oh. You remembered.
Mwah. Mwah.

Well, how could I forget?

Three years ago today,



I picked you up on that beach.

Oh, mwah.
Ha, ha.

And I haven't
had a dull moment since.

Well, how do you like it?

Oh, it is just
what I've always wanted.

You like it?

It's a bottle warmer.

Oh, it is beautiful, master.

I adore it,
I adore it, I adore it.

I gotta admit, you're pretty
hard to get a present for.

Do you like your present?

My present?
Mm-mm.

Where?
Open the window.

Hey, now wait a minute.



I thought we agreed
we weren't gonna give

elaborate gifts.
Open the window.

Now, if you blinked
up a car or anything,

I'll never forgive you for that.

[THUNDEROUS RUSHING WATER]

Niagara Falls?

That's Niagara Falls.

Oh, happy anniversary, master.

[♪]

[♪]

Jeannie!
How do you like it, master?

Well... Well,
you gotta put it back.

Oh, I did not
move Niagara Falls, master.

I moved the house.

I thought we could take
a two-week vacation

and rest and relax, and...

Jeannie. Jeannie, look,
I love the... I love the idea.

I appreciate it very much.

But I don't have time
to take a two-week vacation.

I've taken the day off, and am
gonna show you a wonderful time.

But first,
take us back to Cocoa Beach.

Oh, very well, master.

[RUSHING WATER STOPS]

[SHOUTING]
I... I'm gonna show you that, uh,

I've arranged
a day like you wouldn't...

[NORMAL VOICE]
A day like you wouldn't believe.

Where are we going?

Well, first I thought

we'd go to the carousel. The...

[PHONE RINGS]
Hang on just a second.

Hello.
Uh, Major Nelson,

this is Dr. Bellows.

Can you be in my office
in 10 minutes?

Yeah, wh...? Today, sir?

What day did you think
I meant, major?

Uh, well,
today's my day off, sir,

and I'd had a lot
of things planned...

You have nine minutes.

Uh, if you could just tell me
what it's about,

maybe I could handle
it from this end.

Not on the phone.

I'll see you in eight minutes.

Yeah, doctor?

Is something wrong?

Huh? No, no, no, no.

I just probably forgot
to sign out or something.

You get in your prettiest dress,
and I'll see you in 20 minutes.

Oh, I will be ready, master.

Where's my hat?
Oh, here, master. Heh.

Oh, thanks.

[SPLASHING]

[♪]

[♪]

[♪]

[♪]

Oh, Dr. Bellows, I'm sorry.
I got caught...

You're one minute late.

Um, uh, Dr. Bellows,
whatever I did,

I'm sure I have an explanation.

Oh, calm down, major.
You haven't done anything.

Sir, I have a right to counsel
and a right to hearing,

under the universal
code of military justice. I...

I haven't done anything?

Well, not yet,
but you're going to.

Uh, at exactly one hour from now

you're gonna be
on a plane to Washington

to deliver this film.

The film? The fil...

Today, sir, please,
not today. I'm afraid...

Uh, Major Nelson, this...

This film carries
a high security priority.

It's top secret.

Top brass
from all over the world

are gathering to see it.

Why me, sir?

Uh, because you have
the intelligence,

reliability and discipline
to carry it through.

And because our regular courier
came down with the flu.

Yeah?

Oh, yes. Sir, I
respectfully re...

Denied, major.

You'll go
in your civilian clothes.

The plane leaves in an hour.

You'll have just enough
time to change.

Yes, sir.

Security will assign somebody

to, um, meet you
and give you the film.

Yes, sir.
Oh, by the way,

I'll be on the plane with you.

But for the duration
of the flight,

we don't know each other.

Now, just remember:

You're not to mention the nature

of this assignment
to anyone. Anyone at all.

But I...
Good luck, major.

[♪]

Thank you, sir.

Wait, wait.
L-Let me get this straight:

You promised Jeannie
you would take her out tonight?

Yeah.

But you have to go Washington

on a secret mission instead.
Yeah, that's right.

And you want me to take her out?

Yeah, if you could. I'd...

Well, I'm sorry. I can't.

I've got an important date...

This is very important to me.

It really is.
If you could just...

If you...
I gotta get home.

If it's really that important,

maybe I can cancel
my, uh... My dinner, and...

If you could,
I'd really appreciate it.

Well, that's
what friends are for.

Oh, ho-ho, Roge, thank you.
I've gotta go and change.

I'll see you later.
Okay, yeah. Good luck.

A night out on the town
with my own genie.

We'll go to a little far out
of the way Italian restaurant.

Rome, Italy.
That's out of the way.

Oh, I'll have her blink me
an Italian yacht.

Gialona Brigida. She's Italian.

Oh, master. Mwah.

You are home.
Ha, ha.

Well, yes and no.

I did not know what to wear,

because you did not tell me
where we were going.

I-Is this all right?

Oh, that's just great.
Ha, ha.

Look, Jeannie. I'm afraid, um...

I'm afraid... I'm gonna have
to go and change.

Oh! Heh, heh.
Hurry up.

Jeannie?
Yes, master?

Um, I've something
to talk to you about.

Oh, yes, master.

It's about me taking you out.

Please, do not tell me.

I think I would
much rather be surprised.

I'm afraid you're
not gonna like it.

Oh, but I do, master.

Oh, you look beautiful.

Well... Well, that's not

what I was talking about,
Jeannie. It's...

Look, I'm afraid
I'm not gonna be able

to take you out
for our anniversary tonight.

Oh, you are joking.

TONY:
No. No, I'm not.

I'm sorry, Jeannie. It...

Something's come up.

What?
[PHONE RINGS]

Well, I'm... I-I can't tell you
that, Jeannie.

But... But,
you are all dressed up.

Where are you going?

Well, I'm afraid
I can't tell you that either.

Hello?

Oh, yes.

Uh, Major Nelson.
Is there anyone there

who can overhear
this conversation?

Um, Jeannie, would you make us

a cup of coffee, please?

Certainly, master.

Thanks.

It's all clear, sir.

Good.

Security will assign
a staff sergeant

to accompany you on the plane.

He'll meet you at the airport.

And he'll lock the film
to your wrist.

His name is Marion.

So I meet Marion at the airport.

Right.

Marion will be
at your side from then on.

[MUFFLED YELL]

TONY: I have it. Will
Marion have my key?

BELLOWS:
Yes.

I'll have to leave you
for a while in Washington.

Uh, you and Marion
will be alone.

TONY:
We'll be fine.

I'll see you at the airport.

[♪]

Oh, thanks, Jeannie.

Is everything all right, master?

Oh, yeah.
Everything's just fine.

Listen, I'm awfully

sorry about toni...

[COUGHING]

[RASPY]
What did you put into this?

Oh, it's an old recipe
I got from Nero.

[COUGHS]
Yeah. Figures.

Well, I... I'd better be going.

Yes, master,
you must not be late.

Oh, uh, by the way,
I asked Roger to drop in tonight

and take you out.
I hope that's all right.

Oh, how very thoughtful
of you, master.

You know,
Roge is always a lot of fun.

Yeah. Heh, heh.
I'm awfully sorry about this.

[HUFFS]

Marion.

[LAUGHS]

WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Will Mr. Sanford Gottlieb

please report
to a white courtesy telephone.

[BANG]

Sorry.

WOMAN: Attention,
ladies and gentlemen,

Flight 327 for Tampa

is now in
the final boarding process.

All aboard, please.

Sanford Gottlieb, please report

to a white courtesy telephone.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Flight 203 for Washington
is now loading at Gate 15.

All aboard, please.

[GASPS]

I'm awfully sorry.

Here, let me help you.
I'm sorry.

It's all right, it's just
that I'm late for a plane.

Yes.

Oh. Here, I'll do it,
I'll do it, I'll do it.

I'm... I'm a little late myself.

Major.
Yes, I'm coming.

Look, I'm a little late myself.
I'm sorry.

[HUFFS] Oh!

If he wishes
to break his promise,

and take out
a woman named Marion

on our third anniversary,
it is his privilege.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

He is my master.

I must keep remembering that.

He is my master.

Master.

Happy anniversary, Jeannie.

[CHUCKLES]

Did, uh, Tony tell you

I was sitting in for the night?

Well, he is my master.

I... I must do as he says.

Well, I thought
we'd take in a foreign film,

The Last Year at Marienbad,
then we...

Marion!

Wh-Wh-What...?

What did I say?

Boy, women, boy.
Boy. Oh, where's my...?

I don't have my flowers.

Everything okay, sir?

Yeah, thanks a lot.

[SCREAMS]

TONY:
I'm terribly sorry.

So that's Marion.

You, again.
Yes.

Would you kindly let me up?

Oh, I'm so sorry.
I... I really didn't see you.

Well, then I suggest
you get glasses.

[LAUGHS] Yes.

Uh, why don't you
take the window seat, huh?

I'm sorry, are you all right?

Don't worry,
I'll take care of it.

Thank you.

[♪]

I hope you'll
accept my apologies.

It won't happen again.

I think we should start over.
I'm Valerie Thomas.

Tony Nelson.
Hi.

I never can get
these things buckled. Heh.

Oh, let me help you.

[GASPS]

Ooh.

I can't seem to get it loose.

[GASPS]

[GASPS]

[♪]

I'm sorry,
but you should have buzzed.

[GASPING]
I couldn't reach the button.

STEWARDESS: I hope you'll
be more comfortable.

Thank you. Thank you.

[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]

Please don't say anything.
I'm embarrassed enough as it is.

Here, let me move
your chair back for you.

You'll be more comfortable
that way.

[HUFFS]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

[AIR MASK HISSING]

[♪]

STEWARDESS:
Coffee, tea or punch?

VALERIE: I'll have some
fruit punch, please.

Oh, make that two, please.

Would you mind
passing these over?

No.
Thank you.

Wait. Hold it.
Stop right there. I'll take it.

Stewardess, may I have a pillow?

Jeannie!

Oh! I don't know who you are

but you shouldn't be allowed out
without your keeper!

What are you doing here?

I am celebrating
our anniversary.

Oh, yeah.

Jeannie, I'm sorry.
I'm... I'm kind of tied up now.

Would you...? Would you go home?

Yes, master.
Good.

Have a good time in Washington.

I'm not going to Washington
to have a good time.

Oh? Then why are you going?

This is the reason I'm going.

It's a can of film. A movie.

Dr. Bellows ordered me
to take it.

You mean
you ruined our anniversary,

made me the unhappiest genie
in the universe,

and just for a silly little
old can of film?

It's not a silly
little old can of...

You're right. You're right.

It's just a silly little
old can of film.

[LAUGHING]
Well, not anymore it is not.

[RATTLING]

What have you done?
What did you do to this film?

BELLOWS:
Major Nelson.

Goodbye, master.
Shh.

Major Nelson.
Yes, sir.

What are you doing in here?
Where is she?

We're not supposed
to know each other, remember?

But that stewardess
you were here with?

There's no stewardess, sir.

Please, sir, you're
violating security regulations.

I told you
to get off this plane.

I was just giving
this man some...

Get off this plane right now.

[HUFFS]

[♪]

[LAUGHS]

[YELLS]

[SCREAMING]

[♪]

I don't have to tell you

how we've been looking forward
to this film, Dr. Bellows.

And if I may say so,
what you're gonna see

is really gonna be
an eye opener.

Right, major.
I hope so, sir, yes.

Major.
Uh, general.

Oh, uh, general...

Uh, perhaps it'd be good idea

if I ran the film
alone first, sir.

Oh, nonsense, major.
We'll look at it together.

Shall we, gentlemen?

Oh, uh, major?
Yeah?

NARRATOR [IN FILM]:
The film you are about to see

was made under the most
carefully guarded conditions

at NASA headquarters.

It contains some
of the top-secret,

up-to-date activities
of the space agency.

What are we doing at NASA?

Let's take a look.

The past is forgotten.

The future will be bright
and promising before us.

New men, new equipment,

new horizons to conquer.

This experimental model
of the TBF-60

is a far cry from man's
first primitive attempt

to imitate the birds.

Through dedication and daring
of men like these

we at NASA are looking
not to the clouds

but to the very stars.

Take a look
at another top-secret,

experimental prototype.

While still
in a developmental stage,

its future in the exploration
of outer space is unlimited.

Because of this powerful
new orbital device

our astronaut training program

has been completely revised.

Very few men
can pass this rigid test.

Here you see a flight
into the future.

The vehicle that one day

will take us
to Jupiter and Mars.

Other nations are working
on a spaceship like this.

But we at NASA are
several years ahead of them.

Note the radically new method

of launching
the vehicle into orbit.

[WHISPERING] Major Nelson,
what's going on here?

I can't say, sir.

Is that the film
I turned over to you?

It never left my wrist.

Before we can look forward
to reaching outer planets,

and finally the stars,

we must first
conquer the problem

of soft landing on the moon.

Here, we see such a landing.

Note the easy,
graceful initial stage.

The spacecraft takes advantage

of artificially induced
air currents to glide

to a perfect
three-point landing.

Here is a perfect example
of a new breed of men.

The men who will one day
make space travel

as safe as walking
to the corner store.

We've heard
about enough of this!

Stop the film!

Colonel, I want to know
the meaning of this.

So do I, general.

I flew in from Germany
to see this film.

I don't know what
the White House is gonna say.

I'll tell you what I say:

I'm going to demand
a congressional investigation

and a formal court-martial,

and you two are history.

I'm sorry.

Don't sit there, say something.

What do I say, sir?

Major.
Yes, sir.

Uh, I know what you're thinking,
and you're wrong.

Uh, I mean it's...
It's not what you're thinking.

[LAUGHS]

Actually, what I mean is,

if I could get to a phone
I could explain.

There's one in the corner.

I, uh, beg your pardon?

In the corner.

Yes. Thank you very much.

Gentlemen, gentlemen,
please be patient.

Uh, you'll be amused to hear
how simple his explanation is.

[♪]

It's too bad, uh, Tony
isn't here on his anniversary

to, uh, join in, in all the fun.

You would not leave me
to celebrate

our third anniversary
with another woman.

Or our fourth.

Or our fourth.

Jeannie, if this
is a proposal, I accept.

Why don't you whip up a
nice chateau to get married in,

and then maybe we can get

about 12 beautiful bridesmaids...

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?
Oh, hello. Jeannie?

I am sorry, master,

but I am busy
planning my wedding.

[PHONE CLICKS]

[♪]

Well, Major Nelson,
what's holding you up?

Nothing, sir. It was the wrong
number. I'll try again.

Look, I don't
want anything too elaborate.

Maybe a Caribbean cruise
on my new yacht.

[PHONE RINGS]

I wish he
would stop interrupting.

I will tell him.

Jeannie, don't hang up.
I need you.

I am sorry, master,

but I am very busy
planning my honeymoon.

If you need help,
ask Marion to do it.

Marion? Mm, eh...

What's Sergeant Marion
got to do with it?

How do you know about him?
Him?

Jeannie, uh,
what's the matter with you?

Oh. Oh, I am sorry, master.

But I think I am on
the wrong honeymoon.

Jeannie? Jeannie?

What about our wedding?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Always a bridesmaid.

Well, Major Nelson, do you have
an explanation or don't you?

Well, sir, I'm afraid...
Master.

[QUIETLY] Jeannie?

GENERAL:
Well?

Oh, master, how can you
ever forgive me?

I thought you and Marion were...

Never mind that, Jeannie.
Can you put the film back?

And on our anniversary.

Oh, I will never forgive myself.

Well, we're waiting,
Major Nelson.

Jeannie, can you fix the film?

Oh, yes, master, I can fix it.

I think you better explain
all this, Major Nelson.

Yes, of course, sir.

Uh, gentlemen, please,
may I have your attention?

Uh, I've just talked
to Dr. Eugene Oglethorpe,

the chief of this project,

and he explained
the whole thing to me.

Dr. Oglethorpe says that
this room was wired in advance

and all our reactions
have been recorded

to be studied later
by NASA researchers.

Good. Very good, major.

So if you would please
take your seats

we'll be able to show you
the film you came to see.

I don't believe
a word of that story,

but I'll discuss it
with you later.

Are you sure we're gonna see
the proper film now?

Absolutely, sir.
Mmm.

[♪]

[♪]