I Dream of Jeannie (1965–1970): Season 4, Episode 6 - Djinn, Djinn, Go Home - full transcript

[♪]

Oh, thank you, major.

Hm.

This is very kind of you.

Oh, it's nothing at all.

Take anything you think
the foundation can use.

Oh, that's very generous.

Why don't you just
putter around in the garage

and take anything you want?

I've gotta call Major Healey.

Oh, thank you.
[DOG BARKS]



I didn't know you
had a dog, major.

I've never seen that one before.

Isn't he cute?

Oh.

Look at him.
Isn't he adorable?

Look at that face.

I wonder if he could be lost.

I know all the dogs
on the block.

He's not from around here,
that's for sure.

There's no identification
on his collar.

Oh, puppy dog,
you better go on home.

Your master's probably
worried about you.

Well, it looks like you
made yourself a friend.

Yeah.



All right, puppy,
you can come with me

while I look in
the major's garage. Come.

Good boy.

Good boy, puppy.

Jeannie.

Jeannie?

Hi, Roge. It's Tony.

Yeah. Mrs. Bellows drove me
home, so I won't need a ride.

Yeah, well, thanks anyhow.

[DOG GROWLS]

Roger? Are you growling at me?

Huh?

Well, I don't know why
you'd be growling,

but something is.

It sounds like a dog.

Yeah, a dog.

Yeah, oh, never mind,
the problem's solved.

When we arrived, there was
a little dog at the door.

He must have gotten inside.

Yeah.

Well, I don't know
what kind of dog.

Just a regular, ordinary,
invisible dog, you know.

Invisible dog?

Yeah, it's an invisible dog.

That's exactly what it...

Roger, I'll call you back, huh?

Roge?

Roge?

Here, boy. Here, boy.

Come on. Nice puppy.

Come on, boy. Come on.

[BARKING]

There you are. Come on.
Come here, fella. Come here.

Come on, puppy.
Come on, puppy. Come on, boy.

Give me that. Give me that.
Give me that!

Hey, this is getting expensive.

[WHISTLES]

Puppy?

Come on. Stop playing games.

Come on, puppy. Come on, puppy.

Here, puppy. Here, puppy.

[WHISTLING]

I see you. I see you.
Come on, boy.

Here! Ha! Ha!

Major, I've found a number
of things I can u...

Major, what are you doing
on the floor?

Well, I just slipped.

Are you all right?

Oh, fine, fine.

A little attack of the clumsies.

The dog must have gone home.
I can't find him anywhere.

Oh!

There you are.

Oh.

How clever to find your way
inside the house.

You know, major,
this dog just adores me.

Yeah.

I'm going to take
him home with me.

[♪]

Honestly, Mrs. Bellows,

I don't think that's
a terribly good idea.

What I mean is,
I don't think that Dr. Bellows

will want to put up
with the little dog.

Nonsense.
Alfred loves animals.

And besides, there's something
special about this dog.

You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yes, I do.

I can just feel it.

Yeah, so can I.
What?

What I mean is,
perhaps he's lost.

What'll happen when the owner
comes looking for him?

Well, naturally, major,

I intend to take an ad
in the paper.

Well, that's a good...
No, no.

Wait a minute.

I'm sure he's from
around the neighborhood.

But you told me you knew all
the dogs in the neighborhood.

Well, perhaps he's new.

I tell you what. Why don't
I put an ad in the paper,

and if nobody comes to claim him

within a week, say, he's yours.

You can have him.

Well, perhaps you're right.

All right, darling,
but I'm gonna miss you.

But it's just gonna be
for a couple of days.

Now, you take good care
of the little darling.

Why don't you just
put him on the chair.

Major, don't you like dogs?

Love 'em.
I love 'em.

It's just that little dogs
shouldn't be handled, you know?

Oh. All right, darling.
There you are.

And you be good, huh?

I'll see you in a few days.

Take good care of him for me.
I'll come back in a week.

I will.
Oh, incidentally,

thank you very much
for all the goodies.

Oh, my pleasure.

I'm gonna send a truck
and pick them up.

Anytime, Mrs. Bellows.

All right.

You and I are gonna
have a little talk.

You're just...

[DOG GROWLING]

Wait. Wait. Hey. Ah!

Jeannie. Jeannie!

[YELLS]

Jeannie.

MAN:
Tony.

Roger. Roger. Ah!

I like that. It's a combination
of frug and swim.

What's the matter?

What do you mean?
He's here.

Who's here?

The dog.

What dog?

The invisible dog.

Oh, the invisible dog.

Oh, there's an invisible dog!

[SCREAMING]

Jeannie! Jeannie!

Yes, master?

Master?

Master!

Well, that is strange.

I could have sworn I heard...

Arf.

Djinn Djinn.

Oh, Djinn Djinn,
you darling little dog.

How did you find me,
you clever puppy?

[KNOCKING ON WINDOW]

Oh, master. Guess what.

Djinn Djinn has come home.

Get him out!

I-I want him
out of my house.

Look at me. Look.
Look what he's done.

No.
Oh, but master...

No, absolutely not.

Jeannie, if you want a pet,

you get a pet
that doesn't disappear.

And doesn't have any teeth.

Look, if you wanted a pet,
I would have given you anything.

A dog, cat, a chicken.
It didn't matter.

Oh, but master,

I had Djinn Djinn
long before I had you.

He has followed me all the way
from ancient Baghdad.

Do you realize how far that is?

Too far to throw him back.

Forget the fact
that he keeps disappearing.

And forget the fact
I promised him to Mrs. Bellows.

The fact is that
that dog hates me.

Oh, no, master, you are wrong.

It is just that he does not
know you yet.

Oh, once he has discovered

how kind and noble
and generous you are

he will love you forever.

Once you have fed him, taken him
for walks and played with him.

Oh, master, please, please
give him a chance, please.

Roger, I'm weakening,
what am I gonna do?

Don't ask me. I've always been
a sucker for dog movies.

Oh, master, you are wonderful.

Oh, Djinn Djinn
will love you forever.

[CHUCKLING]

[BARKING, GROWLING]

All right, Harry, I'll get
the report in as soon as I can.

Yeah. Okay, by tonight. Right.

I'm sorry to disturb you, major,
but Mrs. Bellows wants to know

if anyone answered
the ad about the dog?

The d...? Oh, the dog.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

As a matter of fact,
I was just about to phone you.

The owner called and I'm afraid
the little dog is gone.

Oh, she'll be disappointed.

Well, tell her for me
that he's very happy.

He's in a fine home.

Very old family.

Amanda really fell in love
with the little fellow.

Oh, well.
Thank you, Major Nelson.

[SOFT GROWLING]

What's that?
What?

[SCREAMS]

[DOG BARKING, GROWLING]

It's my throat, sir.
I think I need some water.

[COUGHING]

There you are.

How about that, huh?

There you are, master.

Oh, thanks, Jeannie.

Say, this is sensational.
Just the way I like it.

Jeannie, this is not gonna work.

Oh, master,
you must be more patient.

You must earn his trust.

[GAGS]

Well, Djinn Djinn,
we're making some progress.

At least you're beginning
to learn

who's master around here, huh?

[CHUCKLES]

[♪]

Darling,
isn't that Major Nelson?

Yes.

BELLOWS:
Major Nelson.

Come on, Djinn Djinn,
let's get out of here.

What's that thing he's dragging?

Major Nelson. Major.

Major, wait.

Major Nelson.
Yeah.

Major, what on earth
are you doing?

Oh, you mean about this dog?
I can explain that.

What dog?
Well, this dog.

He's gone. Well, he's gone.

I thought the owner answered
your advertisement

and picked the dog up.

Well, I did, but it turned out
to be the wrong owner. Well...

How marvelous, then.
I can have the dog after all.

Oh, no, you can't.

What?

Well, what I mean is, that, uh...

It slipped its collar.
It's run away.

It's probably miles away
from here by now.

I'm sorry about that.

[TONY WHISTLES]

Here, boy.

Why, there you are,
you little darling sweetheart.

Look, dear, didn't I tell you
he was adorable?

Yes. So, major,
I hope you haven't forgotten

that you and Major Healey
are due at NASA in a half-hour

for the weightlessness
experiments.

No, sir. No, sir,
I haven't forgotten.

If you just let me
take the dog home now...

Oh, there's no need
for that, major.

No, I have a marvelous idea.

Why don't you go on to NASA.

I'll take the doggy home
with me.

But...

I wouldn't dream of that.

Oh, it's no trouble
at all, major.

No one has answered the ad,
so he's practically mine.

But...
I can't wait to get acquainted

with the new member
of our family. Come along.

Mrs. Bellows...
Amanda, I...

[♪]

I'm with you all the way, Tony.
Yeah.

As soon as we finish
this experiment,

we go over
to Dr. Bellows' house,

we make up some fantastic story,
then we get the dog back.

Roger, we don't have time.

If that hound pulls
its disappearing act

in front of Mrs. Bellows,
we're gonna be doing

the rest of our experiments
at Fort Leavenworth.

Leavenworth?
Yeah.

Then I'm with you
part of the way.

What's your next move?

It's simple. We ask Dr. Bellows
to postpone the experiment

then we dash over to his house
and grab the dog.

Then we go to Leavenworth.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Hello, Dr. Bellows.

Now, If you'll put down
your lead weights

I'll start the
anti-gravitation mechanism.

Sir, I was wondering if we
could postpone the experiment.

Postpone? We're already
behind schedule.

I know that, sir,
but I've got...

Now, major, get rid
of those weights now.

And that's an order.

[CLUNKING]

Sorry. Thanks, Roge.

TONY:
I'll get on the air jet, sir.

All set, gentlemen?

Dr. Bellows...
Good.

Just relax. I'll be back
in a couple of hours

to see how you're doing.

Tony. About your plan.
Yeah.

Can I ask you one thing?
What?

Would you scratch my back?
I can't reach it.

[GROANS]

Master.
Ah!

Major Healey.

What are you doing up here?

We're just hanging around.

Jeannie.

Please, master,
do not be angry with me.

I know I am not supposed
to come to NASA

but when you did
not return home,

I became worried
about Djinn Djinn.

Where is he?

Djinn Djinn
is with Mrs. Bellows.

You gave away my dog?

No, I didn't give him away.
She took him.

I want you to go to her house
and get him back, right now.

Yes, master.
Right away.

You see, Roger?
All our problems are solved.

Not quite.
My back still itches.

It's out of the question,
Amanda.

You may not leave that dog here.

This is a government
installation, not a pet shop.

Alfred, don't be so stuffy.

What's the point
of being a colonel

if you can't break the rules
once in a while?

I don't want to leave
this little puppy dog alone

the first day
we have him with us.

Besides, I've got
a million things to do.

Why don't you take him
along with you?

Oh, darling, I can't.

I've gotta go
to that charity luncheon,

then I made an appointment
to get my hair done.

I didn't ask you
for your itinerary.

Then I have to go pick up
my new outfit

at the dressmaker's.

Oh, that reminds me,
I need some money.

Amanda, you can't.

Darling, you want me
to dress well, don't you?

I mean, what's the point
of being a colonel's wife

if I can't set an example
for the little people.

Besides, I haven't bought
a new outfit in weeks.

I couldn't care less
about the dress. Here, now...

Thank you, darling.

But you cannot
leave that dog here.

Here, you be nice
to your new daddy.

Now, dear, listen.

What you better do with him
is take him

for a little walk
every couple of hours.

Goodbye, darling,
thanks a million.

But, Amanda.

[DOG BARKING]

Master.

Ah!

I could not find him anywhere.
He is not there.

Not there?
He's gotta be there.

Maybe you couldn't see him.
Put a bell on him.

Oh, I looked everywhere.

What if he is lost and alone
in a strange city?

Oh, poor Djinn Djinn.

I must find him.

All right. Find Mrs. Bellows.
He's probably with her.

You can pretend
you're the dog's owner.

I am the owner.

I do not have to pretend.

Jeannie, you don't have
to mention

that you and Djinn Djinn
are genies.

Now, really, master,
would I be silly enough

to say a thing like that?

Well, I-I-I...

Well, it's been known
to hap... Jeannie?

Major Nelson, Major Healey.

What happened, sir?

Your uniform.

Oh, yes, major.
That dog.

What dog, sir?

You know very well what dog.

That ferocious brute
you gave my wife.

Oh, you mean the dog's here,
in NASA? It's here?

No, he's at Windsor Castle.
Of course he's at NASA.

He just attacked me.

You shouldn't go around
dressed like that.

This is a government
installation.

Major Healey, have you ever
argued with a woman

who has just fallen in love
with a dog?

No, but Tony has.

It was incredible.

BELLOWS: I didn't even
see him attack me.

All I could hear was growling.
He was all over me.

Biting here, tearing there,
and I still couldn't see him.

That brute moves
with the speed of lightning.

Oh, yes, sir. He's very quick.
Where is he now?

In my office.

Your office?

Well, why don't you...

We go to your office,
and, uh... The three of us.

And then we can pick up the dog.

I promise you'll never
see him again.

That's a good idea, Tony.
There's only one thing.

What's that, major?

How we get down to the floor?

Dr. Bellows.

Lieutenant Griswold.
I'm up here. What is it?

I'm sorry.
I didn't know you were

taking part in the experiment.

General Peterson
wants to see you.

He's waiting in your office.

Tell the general
I'll be right there.

I have something to do.

TONY:
He's waiting in your office.

I know that, major.

Oh, Lieutenant Griswold.
Get us down quick. Quick.

But, sir, you...

No "sir," no "buts."

Push that button.

Yes, sir.

ALL:
Whoa!

ROGER:
Look out!

I hope we're not...

[DOG GROWLING] Too late.

Major, you open the door.
I can't.

In case you don't know,
I've been through three wars.

I have the Bronze Star,
the Silver Star

and the Distinguished Flying
Cross for bravery in action.

General Martin Peterson has
never been afraid of anything

in his entire life.

But whatever it is in
your office, Dr. Bellows,

had me sniveling in terror.

I wanna know what kind
of a secret weapon

you've got in there,
and I wanna know right now.

No, you don't.

What was that?

Nothing, sir.

All right, Dr. Bellows.
What was it?

A puppy dog, sir.

What did you say?

Dr. Bellows is right, sir.
It was a little puppy dog.

I don't know what you three
are trying to pull!

The hound of the Baskervilles
couldn't have done this to me!

Dr. Bellows,
I want a straight answer.

[STAMMERS]

I'm telling the truth, sir.

And I'm telling you
there was no dog in that room.

It was a very small dog, sir.

And lightning fast, sir.

Major Nelson,
I still have 20/20 vision,

and I did not see a dog!

But you heard him growl,
didn't you?

Growl? It sounded
like a small tank!

General, if you'd
give me permission,

I-I'll just take a moment
and go to Dr. Bellows' office

and bring the dog here for you.

If he's so vicious,
why aren't you afraid?

I am, sir.

But, frankly,
I'm more afraid of you.

He's just a little dog, now.

He's just a little puppy dog.

I won't be afraid
of a little puppy dog.

Master.
Jeannie!

Oh, master, I have looked
everywhere for Mrs. Bellows.

Hi, Harry.

I cannot find her.

I went to the supermarket,
the beauty shop, the grocery...

Don't worry,
the dog's in the office.

Oh, master, you found him.

Oh, you are wonderful.

Shh. I said
you don't have to worry.

I still have to worry.

That has dog attacked me,
Roger, Colonel Bellows

and General Peterson.

I cannot understand it,
Djinn Djinn was always

such a friendly little dog.

Yeah, well I've got
four shredded uniforms

that prove that he's vicious.

Uniforms?
Yes.

That is it.

What is it?

Oh, I will show you.

Ah!

Oh, Djinn Djinn, my poor baby.
Are you all right?

Yeah. He's fine.

It's the Air Force
I'm worried about.

Listen, General Peterson's
waiting for me.

Jeannie. If you know what
makes this dog act this way

would you please tell me,
for heaven's sakes?

Here, you hold him.

No. I don't want him.
I don't want the dog. I...

Well, he seems to be
all right now.

Uh-huh! Now, watch.

[GROWLING]

[BARKING AND GROWLING]

You see, when Djinn Djinn
was a puppy

the guards at the nearest palace
were cruel to him.

And they wore uniforms.

Oh, you mean he hates uniforms.

Mm-hm.

Terrific, terrific.

The ideal dog
for an Air Force officer.

[♪]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Who is it?

It's I, sir, Major Nelson.

Have you got the dog?

Yes, sir.
Take cover.

Take cover.

Come in now, major.

I, uh...

Oh, hi, Roge.

Uh, general?

Miss Peabody.

This is Ms. Peabody.
Major Healey.

You look just like Jeannie...

And, of course, Dr. Bellows,
and General Peterson.

How do you do, honey?

Ms. Peabody is the owner
of the dog.

You see, I-I put an ad
in the newspaper,

and, uh, she traced me here.

You mean that's
what attacked me?

I don't believe it.

Its true, sir. Ms. Peabody
will be able to explain.

I'm awfully sorry little Djinn
Djinn caused such a rumpus.

Naughty, naughty, Djinn Djinn.

But you see,
it was daddy's chauffeur.

He wore a uniform, you know.

And every morning, he'd kick
little Djinn Djinn in the head.

Hello, Mrs. Bellows.
Oh, Miss Crawford.

Do you know where my husband is?

Yes. He's, uh, in
General Peterson's office.

It's right around the corner.

Is that a new outfit,
Mrs. Bellows?

Yes. Yes, it is as
a matter of fact.

It's darling.
Well, thank you.

It's called the military look.

[DOG BARKING, GROWLING]

[AMANDA SCREAMING]

Amanda, please! This is
a government installation.

Dr. Bellows,
I wanna talk to you.

Ah.

You see, master, he adores you.

[♪]