I Dream of Jeannie (1965–1970): Season 4, Episode 24 - Jeannie-Go-Round - full transcript
Jeannie's sister causes havoc at a nightclub in front of the Bellows when Jeannie is locked in her bottle.
[♪]
Now, come on.
I'm asking you.
This is your old friend,
Roger, remember?
I'm not asking for much.
I still don't see
why you need me.
Because I've been trying to date
this girl for two months.
I mean, funny lines in the hall,
flowers, candy and everything.
And she just won't
go out with me.
Perhaps she does not trust you.
Yeah. Sharp. Funny.
Listen, I told her we would
double date at the opening
of the new Cocoa Beach Cabana.
And she said she would go.
Now, come on.
You can't let me down.
Oh, please, master, may we go?
I have never been
to the opening of a nightclub,
and it would be such fun.
No, Jeannie.
You know I hate nightclubs.
They're noisy,
and they're expensive and dark.
Huh. I... I could have sworn
there was somebody back there.
It was probably a reflection.
Now, come on. How about it?
Why me? Why can't you
double date with somebody else?
Because she knows you.
She thinks you're respectable
and responsible.
And when it's over,
with Jeannie you can blink out
and leave the two of us alone,
hmm-hmm.
[THUMPING]
I swear there's...
Master, what is wrong?
There was somebody
behind those drapes.
Oh, master,
you are imagining things.
Oh, please, may we go
with Major Healey?
Yes.
Oh!
Oh, you're gonna make
a beautiful girl very happy.
But not until Saturday night.
Saturday night.
You won't forget this.
I won't forget this.
Oh, master, I am so excited.
I'm so excited.
Just think,
we are going to a nightclub
together. A nightclub!
Oh, my goodness. I... I must go
immediately to Paris
and select my gown.
Ooh!
It certainly doesn't take much
to make her happy.
[LAUGHS]
Saturday night. That gives me
almost a week to plan.
Oh, darling Major Nelson.
Let me see. So far, I've tried
to get you by kidnapping you,
putting you in a birdcage,
roasting you alive
and deep-freezing you.
All right.
This time no more Mr. Nice Guy.
[♪]
[♪]
[♪]
Yes.
Thank you very much, major.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR] Come in.
Dr. Bellows.
Yes, may I help you?
I sincerely hope so, darling.
My, they didn't tell me
you were so handsome.
Uh, I don't believe
we've met, Miss... uh...
Jones, darling.
Ah.
I have a proposition for you.
I'm a married man, Miss Jones.
[LAUGHS] Oh, not that kind
of proposition, silly.
How would you like to have
Miss Bonnie Greer
entertain for the boys
here at NASA.
Bonnie Greer,
the singer who's opening
at the Cocoa Beach Cabana?
Yes, darling.
I think I can arrange it.
I am her manager.
And I'm sure she'd be happy
to entertain for the boys here
if you can get
enough of the brass
to come to her opening tonight.
Oh, that would be very nice.
We'd love to have her.
Ah, good, good, good.
Here are two tickets.
Thank you.
Now, you come tonight
and applaud real good and loud,
and I'm sure everything
will work out.
Oh, uh, by the way,
Major Nelson and Major Healey
are coming tonight too.
You could make a party of it.
Uh, thank you, Miss Jones.
Um, will we see you tonight?
Oh, you certainly will, darling.
[♪]
Phase one.
Now for phase two,
which is letting nature
take its course.
What do you need me for?
Look, anyway, I've gotta
pick up Betty at 9:00.
Roger, uh, you were the one
who bludgeoned me into this
in this first place.
At least you can stick around
and give me some moral support
when I have to tell Jeannie
she can't go.
Jeannie, I'd, uh,
like to have a word with you.
JEANNIE:
One minute, master.
Come on, I gotta get out of here
and change.
Relax, relax.
Jeannie will change you.
Yeah, you realize what she's
gonna change us into
when she finds out
we're not taking her?
JEANNIE:
I am ready, master.
ROGER:
Oh, wow.
Hey, look at that.
I'll tell you what,
you take Betty,
and I'll stay home with Jeannie.
Do you like it, master?
Oh, it's... It's just beautiful.
Well, it's a little late, folks,
so good night.
I thought I would choose
a green gown...
I have bad news.
...but then I remembered,
my master likes white...
Dr. Bellows called.
And so I picked this gown.
I'm afraid you can't go.
It has a little gold...
What did you say, master?
Well, uh, I'm afraid
you can't go, Jeannie.
Dr. Bellows called and...
And he's going to the nightclub
tonight, and...
Well, I just... I couldn't...
I have taken three days in Paris
to pick out this gown.
Yeah, I know.
I have spent all afternoon
upstairs getting ready.
All afternoon.
I know that...
And now you stand there
and tell me I can't go?
I... Well, why don't you
say something?
What he's trying to say
is that there's gonna be
a lot of people there,
and he doesn't want
to be seen with you.
Yeah, that's right.
No! I don't...
Thanks, I needed that.
Thanks a lot.
I better go and get dressed.
Yeah, Jeannie, just try
to listen to me, will you?
I'm awfully sorry about this...
Three days.
Three days it took me
to pick out this gown.
I know, and it's a beautiful...
And I did my hair.
Specially, I did my hair.
Yeah?
With my own two hands.
And it looks it.
Oh!
No, I didn't mean it
that way. Please try to...
Oh, master, please,
do not say one more word.
I am so angry.
Okay, okay.
I am so angry I could...
Don't get angry.
I could...
No, now, don't.
I could...
Whatever it is, don't.
[SOBS] No!
Oh!
Please. Look, tomorrow,
I'll take you anyplace
in the world you want to go.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[GROANS]
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
Phase two.
Nature took its course nicely.
[DRUM ROLL]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]
[AUDIENCE CHEERS] Me?
Please, please.
Please, please don't stop.
[LAUGHTER] Ladies and gentlemen,
such a pleasure
to be here in Florida.
My wife did all the driving
in, uh, Florida,
from California.
And I must tell you,
going around these mountain
curves and the highways,
she was wonderful, because she
drives this way normally.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
My wife gets a...
Will you laugh it up, please?
Some new people are coming in.
Coming in by the hundreds,
four at a time.
Cheer up, sir.
This is a nightclub.
Come on.
I laughed when you came in.
[LAUGHS]
What did you do?
Park your satellite outside?
Okay, now, if you're gonna
buy a new car,
take my advice:
Don't take the wife with you,
because the salesmen
are very sharp.
[HUMS]
COMEDIAN: Is this the young lady
who's old enough to drive?
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
Who are you?
Well, I'm you understudy,
darling.
I don't have an understudy.
Oh, yes, you do. And you're
going to need one too.
[INAUDIBLE]
[LAUGHS]
You see? I told you.
You have laryngitis.
[MAGIC CHIME]
Hm.
And a temporary loss
of consciousness too.
[CLUCKS TONGUE]
Now, don't be a sissy
about it, darling.
You're going to be
all right tomorrow.
I really am sorry
about this, darling,
but you see, I have to convince
a certain major
that a certain genie
has flipped her lid.
♪ Mi ♪
♪ Mi, mi ♪
♪ Mi... ♪
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
She wears a miniskirt
with orthopedic shoes.
[ALL LAUGH]
On her last birthday cake
there were 48 candles
on a slice I had.
[LAUGHTER]
What was wrong with that joke?
[ALL LAUGH]
I know what you're thinking.
Why does he tell gags
about his wife?
All comedians tells jokes
about their wives.
But in spite of these jokes,
I would like you to know
I've been married for 28 years.
And personally,
I don't see any humor in it.
[ALL LAUGH]
Oh, dear me.
See, that's not
a bad record, is it?
Considering we live out there
in Hollywood, California.
Our neighbor's divorced
and separated.
Many times I'll look at my wife
and I'll say,
"Where did we fail?"
[LAUGHS]
It's the kind of a neighborhood
one kid says to another,
"My daddy can lick your daddy."
The other kid says,
"Don't be an idiot.
Your daddy is my daddy."
[BOTH LAUGH]
Why, there's one kid on my block
got an award
for bringing the most parents
to the PTA meeting.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I have an unfortunate
announcement to make.
A few minutes ago
the star of our show,
Miss Bonnie Greer,
was stricken with a severe
case of laryngitis.
[ALL MOAN]
Oh-ho-ho, that's too bad.
BOTH:
Oh.
But in the best traditions
of show business,
our understudy has agreed
to go on with the show.
So let's have a great big hand
for our plucky little lady,
Miss... What did you say
your name was?
Miss Jeannie of Cocoa Beach.
[ALL APPLAUD]
MAN: Oh, bravo!
[BAND PLAYS WALK-ON MUSIC]
♪ Power on ♪
♪ Like the lights ♪
♪ Electric beams Electric haze ♪
♪ Electric dreams
Electric days ♪
♪ Electric nights ♪
♪ See the power
Flower all around you ♪
♪ Yellow zigzags
Blooming in the air ♪
♪ Bringing lightning
To the darkness ♪
♪ Of your absolute despair ♪
Let me see.
A six-letter word
for "rat."
M-A-S...
No, no, no.
Mustn't be angry with him.
I know.
I will be angry with him
until he gets home,
and then I will forgive him.
M-A-S-T-E-R.
Master.
♪ Here the vibrations ♪
♪ Feel the earth rock ♪
♪ Watch the colors Fly about ♪
♪ Exploding ♪
♪ Into shock ♪ [MAGIC CHIME]
♪ Sweet cosmic music ♪
♪ Like electric Drops of rain ♪
♪ Sweet flowing rhythms ♪
♪ Running freely
Through your brain ♪
♪ How it flowers
All around you ♪
♪ Energizing life In every way ♪
♪ It's the power of life ♪
♪ It's the power of love ♪
♪ Power flowers today ♪
♪ Electric beams Electric haze ♪
♪ Electric dreams
Electric days ♪
♪ Electric nights ♪
♪ Power off ♪
[ALL APPLAUD]
[BAND PLAYS WALK-ON MUSIC]
[MAN WHISTLES]
[♪]
Deliberately disobeyed me.
Went out of her way
to embarrass me in front...
Master?
What is the matter?
Did you not have a good time?
Huh? What?
Did you not enjoy yourself?
How can you ask me that?
Well, it is...
It is very simple.
Did you not have fun?
You better come up
with a very good explanation,
young lady.
Explanation?
Yeah.
For what? What have I done?
Gonna play that game with me?
Go on. Get in your bottle.
Oh-ho-ho, master,
you have no reason
to be angry with me.
I was angry with you.
But I have decided
to forgive you.
Oh, you decided to forgive me,
huh?
Okay, that's the straw that...
Go ahead. Get in your bottle.
Go on. I'm not fooling
around with you anymore.
But I...
Go on, I've had a tough day.
Go on.
Ooh!
And stay there until you
think of a good explanation.
Here.
[HUMS]
[MAGIC CHIME]
Jeannie!
I told you to get back.
Jeannie!
Jeannie,
now, stop...
Huh?
Jeannie, you stop playing games
and get back in your bottle.
Come on. Get back in here.
Ah, that's better.
Jeez, I'm probably so shook up
I think I'm seeing things.
[LAUGHS]
I just need a little rest.
Maybe I... Maybe I've been
working too hard.
A little session
with Dr. Bellows
will straighten everything out.
A couple of months of therapy.
I think maybe we could
resolve the whole problem.
[HUMS]
Just been working too hard,
that's all.
Thanks.
Jeannie! Hey, Jeannie!
Come back here! Jeannie!
You want the whole neighborhood
to know
you're having a fight
with your genie?
What's going on, here?
You see Jeannie go out?
No, I didn't see her
go out the door.
But what's with the noise?
What's all...?
Roger, I'm in trouble.
What's the matter?
You're in trouble.
I just left Dr. Bellows.
You're really in trouble.
Not that kind of trouble.
I mean I think
I'm seeing things. I really do.
I locked Jeannie in her bottle,
and 10 seconds later
she was walking through here.
In her bottle?
Very funny.
Now, look. Look.
The cork's gone.
The cork's gone.
Two hundred people
are watching you.
You make a fool out of yourself,
and you're worried about a cork.
Do you realize
what went on back there?
Do you know what you did?
You walked on stage.
[MAGIC CHIME] You made a fool...
There she goes!
Tony, I'm trying to tell you
the bottle was uncorked.
Huh?
Uncorked.
It's gone too far, Roger.
Jeannie's turned against me.
She can't turn against you.
You're her master.
She has to obey you.
Oh, yeah? Who says so?
Well, maybe it's in
the genie manual. I don't know.
Well, then how come
she deliberately disobeyed me
when I told her not to go
to that nightclub?
Huh? How come?
I don't know.
I told her to go to her bottle
and she just wouldn't do it.
Well, maybe she wasn't issued
a genie manual.
I think she's trying to drive
me out of my mind, Roge.
You know something?
I think she's succeeding.
I... I corked her on her bottle
and 10 seconds later
she was just parading
all over the house.
Give me that.
Yeah.
Sorry. I'll get you
a nice, warm blanket.
Get yourself a nice,
stiff glass of milk.
[HUMS]
Hi, Jeannie.
Loved your act.
Good, good.
Hello, Major Healey.
As I was saying,
you were terrific.
Whoa, wait.
Hey, now, wait a minute,
you better get back
in your bottle.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, wait a minute, now.
That's bad geniemanship.
You're in trouble now.
You are gonna get in trouble...
[MAGIC CHIME]
Where's Jeannie?
Huh?
Jeannie.
Huh? You saw her too?
Oh, you shouldn't
disappoint Jeannie like that.
I mean, what's more important?
I mean, you job? Huh?
Or Jeannie? Huh?
Did you hear that, Jeannie?
I'm on your side.
Will you stop that and help me
try to figure something out?
Yeah, well, I'm gonna go home
and figure it out, all right?
You can't desert me now.
Come back here.
I'm not deserting you.
I'm leaving.
Roger, look, now that
I understand what's bugging her,
I can reason with her
like a human being.
What's the matter with you,
anyhow?
Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony.
Huh?
Let me... Let me...
Don't. Tony.
You're right.
Boo!
Ah!
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Hi, Jeannie!
TONY:
Look, uh, I...
Ah! Jeannie, I am your master
and I command you to...
[LAUGHS]
Well, that's reasoning with her.
Jeannie? Jeannie?
Jeannies to the left of us,
Jeannies to the right of us.
Major Nelson.
Major, are you here?
And Dr. Bellows
in the middle.
Major Nelson,
I want a full explanation
of your disgraceful conduct
tonight.
Frankly, I was never so shocked
in all my life.
Well, stick around, sir.
I think we can top it.
Alfred, now,
don't be so pompous.
I'm sure the major has
a perfectly good explanation
if you'll just give him
a chance.
Please, Amanda.
Well, Major Nelson?
Uh, sir, it's late. Couldn't
we talk about this tomorrow?
No, we cannot.
Oh, major,
did you find out
where you could get
one of these exquisite bottles
for me?
Uh, no... No,
that's one of a kind.
Oh, well, why in the world
do you keep a hankie
stuck in the jar?
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
Because it's...
In the morning, major,
you will have to explain your
conduct to General Peterson.
And I assure you that he will
not be as sympathetic
towards your, uh,
explanations as I am.
So I suggest you get started.
Oh, darling, stop badgering him.
Sir, you're gonna find this
hard to believe.
All your explanations
are hard to believe.
Oh, darling,
give the boy a chance.
I'm sure he'll come up
with something.
[LAUGHING] Have you seen this?
Oh... What?
Excuse me.
Oh, Dr. Bellows,
if you could just watch me.
It's a very strange dance.
You go this way...
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
That's it.
Ah!
Alfred, Alfred, Alfred!
Shh! No, not that way.
Spin around.
That's the new stance.
[LAUGHS] Oh!
Major...
Huh? Oh, it's all right.
It's all right.
You look lovely that way.
You really do.
BELLOWS: Major Healey,
what are you doing?
ROGER:
Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh...
That's the latest dance.
Major, I...
???
Alfred!
Oh, what...?
Alfred! Alfred!
What's going on, here?
I don't know.
But I'm soon going to find out.
You are the one
who is making my master
act so strangely.
That's right, darling.
Everything's going
according to plan.
And now that Major Nelson thinks
you've turned against him,
he's going to get rid of you
forever.
And that's where I step in.
No! I will not permit it.
There's only one thing
I hadn't counted on.
That stupid Major Healey letting
the genie out of the bag.
[SQUEALS]
Sister, you go home!
Major Nelson is mine
and I will never give him up.
Oh, well, I have news for you,
darling.
He's ready to give you up.
[LAUGHS]
See you later, alligator.
[SCREAMS]
Well, sir,
it all started years ago.
[CRASH]
What...?
What is that?
Years ago, when I first
experienced
my first earthquake.
Earthquake?
Don't be ridiculous.
Oh!
What...?
Uh, under the table.
It's safer.
[CRASH]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
I... I... I've always been
terrified of earthquakes, sir.
I... I felt the first tremor
in the nightclub,
and... And that's when
I hit the floor.
It's safer there.
Oh...
it's not safer here.
Major, I offer you
my profound apologies.
If we ever live through this,
I'm gonna make it up to you.
Uh... Uh, you may
live through it, sir,
but I'm not so sure about me.
Oh, what's happening? Oh!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
You all right?
Help me up.
Oh.
Oh.
Well, it's over, sir, I think.
Honey, let's go home, quick.
I... I wanna see
what happened to our house.
Oh, good night, major.
Uh, once more, my apologies.
I'll ever doubt your word again.
Yes.
It's over. It's over.
Yeah, for them, maybe,
but not for you.
Jeannie's still probably here.
Huh?
Ah!
It is all right, master.
It is all right.
It really is over.
My sister is gone.
Your sister?
Yes, my sister.
She was the one
who caused all the trouble.
She thought that if she
could convince you
that I had turned against you,
that you would get rid of me.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
And then she could have you
all to herself.
She was going
to put you in a cage.
Yeah, well,
it very nearly worked.
Oh, master, I am so sorry.
I promise you
she will never bother you again.
I am sending her home to mama
on ice.
Master?
Well, what is the matter?
I am your genie.
Can you not tell the difference?
Can you tell?
That reminds me.
I'm gonna make myself
a drink on the rocks.
A large drink.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah. Large rocks.
Large rocks.
Master?
Uh...
But... But...
[SIGHS]
Master!
[♪]
Now, come on.
I'm asking you.
This is your old friend,
Roger, remember?
I'm not asking for much.
I still don't see
why you need me.
Because I've been trying to date
this girl for two months.
I mean, funny lines in the hall,
flowers, candy and everything.
And she just won't
go out with me.
Perhaps she does not trust you.
Yeah. Sharp. Funny.
Listen, I told her we would
double date at the opening
of the new Cocoa Beach Cabana.
And she said she would go.
Now, come on.
You can't let me down.
Oh, please, master, may we go?
I have never been
to the opening of a nightclub,
and it would be such fun.
No, Jeannie.
You know I hate nightclubs.
They're noisy,
and they're expensive and dark.
Huh. I... I could have sworn
there was somebody back there.
It was probably a reflection.
Now, come on. How about it?
Why me? Why can't you
double date with somebody else?
Because she knows you.
She thinks you're respectable
and responsible.
And when it's over,
with Jeannie you can blink out
and leave the two of us alone,
hmm-hmm.
[THUMPING]
I swear there's...
Master, what is wrong?
There was somebody
behind those drapes.
Oh, master,
you are imagining things.
Oh, please, may we go
with Major Healey?
Yes.
Oh!
Oh, you're gonna make
a beautiful girl very happy.
But not until Saturday night.
Saturday night.
You won't forget this.
I won't forget this.
Oh, master, I am so excited.
I'm so excited.
Just think,
we are going to a nightclub
together. A nightclub!
Oh, my goodness. I... I must go
immediately to Paris
and select my gown.
Ooh!
It certainly doesn't take much
to make her happy.
[LAUGHS]
Saturday night. That gives me
almost a week to plan.
Oh, darling Major Nelson.
Let me see. So far, I've tried
to get you by kidnapping you,
putting you in a birdcage,
roasting you alive
and deep-freezing you.
All right.
This time no more Mr. Nice Guy.
[♪]
[♪]
[♪]
Yes.
Thank you very much, major.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR] Come in.
Dr. Bellows.
Yes, may I help you?
I sincerely hope so, darling.
My, they didn't tell me
you were so handsome.
Uh, I don't believe
we've met, Miss... uh...
Jones, darling.
Ah.
I have a proposition for you.
I'm a married man, Miss Jones.
[LAUGHS] Oh, not that kind
of proposition, silly.
How would you like to have
Miss Bonnie Greer
entertain for the boys
here at NASA.
Bonnie Greer,
the singer who's opening
at the Cocoa Beach Cabana?
Yes, darling.
I think I can arrange it.
I am her manager.
And I'm sure she'd be happy
to entertain for the boys here
if you can get
enough of the brass
to come to her opening tonight.
Oh, that would be very nice.
We'd love to have her.
Ah, good, good, good.
Here are two tickets.
Thank you.
Now, you come tonight
and applaud real good and loud,
and I'm sure everything
will work out.
Oh, uh, by the way,
Major Nelson and Major Healey
are coming tonight too.
You could make a party of it.
Uh, thank you, Miss Jones.
Um, will we see you tonight?
Oh, you certainly will, darling.
[♪]
Phase one.
Now for phase two,
which is letting nature
take its course.
What do you need me for?
Look, anyway, I've gotta
pick up Betty at 9:00.
Roger, uh, you were the one
who bludgeoned me into this
in this first place.
At least you can stick around
and give me some moral support
when I have to tell Jeannie
she can't go.
Jeannie, I'd, uh,
like to have a word with you.
JEANNIE:
One minute, master.
Come on, I gotta get out of here
and change.
Relax, relax.
Jeannie will change you.
Yeah, you realize what she's
gonna change us into
when she finds out
we're not taking her?
JEANNIE:
I am ready, master.
ROGER:
Oh, wow.
Hey, look at that.
I'll tell you what,
you take Betty,
and I'll stay home with Jeannie.
Do you like it, master?
Oh, it's... It's just beautiful.
Well, it's a little late, folks,
so good night.
I thought I would choose
a green gown...
I have bad news.
...but then I remembered,
my master likes white...
Dr. Bellows called.
And so I picked this gown.
I'm afraid you can't go.
It has a little gold...
What did you say, master?
Well, uh, I'm afraid
you can't go, Jeannie.
Dr. Bellows called and...
And he's going to the nightclub
tonight, and...
Well, I just... I couldn't...
I have taken three days in Paris
to pick out this gown.
Yeah, I know.
I have spent all afternoon
upstairs getting ready.
All afternoon.
I know that...
And now you stand there
and tell me I can't go?
I... Well, why don't you
say something?
What he's trying to say
is that there's gonna be
a lot of people there,
and he doesn't want
to be seen with you.
Yeah, that's right.
No! I don't...
Thanks, I needed that.
Thanks a lot.
I better go and get dressed.
Yeah, Jeannie, just try
to listen to me, will you?
I'm awfully sorry about this...
Three days.
Three days it took me
to pick out this gown.
I know, and it's a beautiful...
And I did my hair.
Specially, I did my hair.
Yeah?
With my own two hands.
And it looks it.
Oh!
No, I didn't mean it
that way. Please try to...
Oh, master, please,
do not say one more word.
I am so angry.
Okay, okay.
I am so angry I could...
Don't get angry.
I could...
No, now, don't.
I could...
Whatever it is, don't.
[SOBS] No!
Oh!
Please. Look, tomorrow,
I'll take you anyplace
in the world you want to go.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[GROANS]
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
Phase two.
Nature took its course nicely.
[DRUM ROLL]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]
[AUDIENCE CHEERS] Me?
Please, please.
Please, please don't stop.
[LAUGHTER] Ladies and gentlemen,
such a pleasure
to be here in Florida.
My wife did all the driving
in, uh, Florida,
from California.
And I must tell you,
going around these mountain
curves and the highways,
she was wonderful, because she
drives this way normally.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
My wife gets a...
Will you laugh it up, please?
Some new people are coming in.
Coming in by the hundreds,
four at a time.
Cheer up, sir.
This is a nightclub.
Come on.
I laughed when you came in.
[LAUGHS]
What did you do?
Park your satellite outside?
Okay, now, if you're gonna
buy a new car,
take my advice:
Don't take the wife with you,
because the salesmen
are very sharp.
[HUMS]
COMEDIAN: Is this the young lady
who's old enough to drive?
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
Who are you?
Well, I'm you understudy,
darling.
I don't have an understudy.
Oh, yes, you do. And you're
going to need one too.
[INAUDIBLE]
[LAUGHS]
You see? I told you.
You have laryngitis.
[MAGIC CHIME]
Hm.
And a temporary loss
of consciousness too.
[CLUCKS TONGUE]
Now, don't be a sissy
about it, darling.
You're going to be
all right tomorrow.
I really am sorry
about this, darling,
but you see, I have to convince
a certain major
that a certain genie
has flipped her lid.
♪ Mi ♪
♪ Mi, mi ♪
♪ Mi... ♪
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
She wears a miniskirt
with orthopedic shoes.
[ALL LAUGH]
On her last birthday cake
there were 48 candles
on a slice I had.
[LAUGHTER]
What was wrong with that joke?
[ALL LAUGH]
I know what you're thinking.
Why does he tell gags
about his wife?
All comedians tells jokes
about their wives.
But in spite of these jokes,
I would like you to know
I've been married for 28 years.
And personally,
I don't see any humor in it.
[ALL LAUGH]
Oh, dear me.
See, that's not
a bad record, is it?
Considering we live out there
in Hollywood, California.
Our neighbor's divorced
and separated.
Many times I'll look at my wife
and I'll say,
"Where did we fail?"
[LAUGHS]
It's the kind of a neighborhood
one kid says to another,
"My daddy can lick your daddy."
The other kid says,
"Don't be an idiot.
Your daddy is my daddy."
[BOTH LAUGH]
Why, there's one kid on my block
got an award
for bringing the most parents
to the PTA meeting.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I have an unfortunate
announcement to make.
A few minutes ago
the star of our show,
Miss Bonnie Greer,
was stricken with a severe
case of laryngitis.
[ALL MOAN]
Oh-ho-ho, that's too bad.
BOTH:
Oh.
But in the best traditions
of show business,
our understudy has agreed
to go on with the show.
So let's have a great big hand
for our plucky little lady,
Miss... What did you say
your name was?
Miss Jeannie of Cocoa Beach.
[ALL APPLAUD]
MAN: Oh, bravo!
[BAND PLAYS WALK-ON MUSIC]
♪ Power on ♪
♪ Like the lights ♪
♪ Electric beams Electric haze ♪
♪ Electric dreams
Electric days ♪
♪ Electric nights ♪
♪ See the power
Flower all around you ♪
♪ Yellow zigzags
Blooming in the air ♪
♪ Bringing lightning
To the darkness ♪
♪ Of your absolute despair ♪
Let me see.
A six-letter word
for "rat."
M-A-S...
No, no, no.
Mustn't be angry with him.
I know.
I will be angry with him
until he gets home,
and then I will forgive him.
M-A-S-T-E-R.
Master.
♪ Here the vibrations ♪
♪ Feel the earth rock ♪
♪ Watch the colors Fly about ♪
♪ Exploding ♪
♪ Into shock ♪ [MAGIC CHIME]
♪ Sweet cosmic music ♪
♪ Like electric Drops of rain ♪
♪ Sweet flowing rhythms ♪
♪ Running freely
Through your brain ♪
♪ How it flowers
All around you ♪
♪ Energizing life In every way ♪
♪ It's the power of life ♪
♪ It's the power of love ♪
♪ Power flowers today ♪
♪ Electric beams Electric haze ♪
♪ Electric dreams
Electric days ♪
♪ Electric nights ♪
♪ Power off ♪
[ALL APPLAUD]
[BAND PLAYS WALK-ON MUSIC]
[MAN WHISTLES]
[♪]
Deliberately disobeyed me.
Went out of her way
to embarrass me in front...
Master?
What is the matter?
Did you not have a good time?
Huh? What?
Did you not enjoy yourself?
How can you ask me that?
Well, it is...
It is very simple.
Did you not have fun?
You better come up
with a very good explanation,
young lady.
Explanation?
Yeah.
For what? What have I done?
Gonna play that game with me?
Go on. Get in your bottle.
Oh-ho-ho, master,
you have no reason
to be angry with me.
I was angry with you.
But I have decided
to forgive you.
Oh, you decided to forgive me,
huh?
Okay, that's the straw that...
Go ahead. Get in your bottle.
Go on. I'm not fooling
around with you anymore.
But I...
Go on, I've had a tough day.
Go on.
Ooh!
And stay there until you
think of a good explanation.
Here.
[HUMS]
[MAGIC CHIME]
Jeannie!
I told you to get back.
Jeannie!
Jeannie,
now, stop...
Huh?
Jeannie, you stop playing games
and get back in your bottle.
Come on. Get back in here.
Ah, that's better.
Jeez, I'm probably so shook up
I think I'm seeing things.
[LAUGHS]
I just need a little rest.
Maybe I... Maybe I've been
working too hard.
A little session
with Dr. Bellows
will straighten everything out.
A couple of months of therapy.
I think maybe we could
resolve the whole problem.
[HUMS]
Just been working too hard,
that's all.
Thanks.
Jeannie! Hey, Jeannie!
Come back here! Jeannie!
You want the whole neighborhood
to know
you're having a fight
with your genie?
What's going on, here?
You see Jeannie go out?
No, I didn't see her
go out the door.
But what's with the noise?
What's all...?
Roger, I'm in trouble.
What's the matter?
You're in trouble.
I just left Dr. Bellows.
You're really in trouble.
Not that kind of trouble.
I mean I think
I'm seeing things. I really do.
I locked Jeannie in her bottle,
and 10 seconds later
she was walking through here.
In her bottle?
Very funny.
Now, look. Look.
The cork's gone.
The cork's gone.
Two hundred people
are watching you.
You make a fool out of yourself,
and you're worried about a cork.
Do you realize
what went on back there?
Do you know what you did?
You walked on stage.
[MAGIC CHIME] You made a fool...
There she goes!
Tony, I'm trying to tell you
the bottle was uncorked.
Huh?
Uncorked.
It's gone too far, Roger.
Jeannie's turned against me.
She can't turn against you.
You're her master.
She has to obey you.
Oh, yeah? Who says so?
Well, maybe it's in
the genie manual. I don't know.
Well, then how come
she deliberately disobeyed me
when I told her not to go
to that nightclub?
Huh? How come?
I don't know.
I told her to go to her bottle
and she just wouldn't do it.
Well, maybe she wasn't issued
a genie manual.
I think she's trying to drive
me out of my mind, Roge.
You know something?
I think she's succeeding.
I... I corked her on her bottle
and 10 seconds later
she was just parading
all over the house.
Give me that.
Yeah.
Sorry. I'll get you
a nice, warm blanket.
Get yourself a nice,
stiff glass of milk.
[HUMS]
Hi, Jeannie.
Loved your act.
Good, good.
Hello, Major Healey.
As I was saying,
you were terrific.
Whoa, wait.
Hey, now, wait a minute,
you better get back
in your bottle.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, wait a minute, now.
That's bad geniemanship.
You're in trouble now.
You are gonna get in trouble...
[MAGIC CHIME]
Where's Jeannie?
Huh?
Jeannie.
Huh? You saw her too?
Oh, you shouldn't
disappoint Jeannie like that.
I mean, what's more important?
I mean, you job? Huh?
Or Jeannie? Huh?
Did you hear that, Jeannie?
I'm on your side.
Will you stop that and help me
try to figure something out?
Yeah, well, I'm gonna go home
and figure it out, all right?
You can't desert me now.
Come back here.
I'm not deserting you.
I'm leaving.
Roger, look, now that
I understand what's bugging her,
I can reason with her
like a human being.
What's the matter with you,
anyhow?
Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony.
Huh?
Let me... Let me...
Don't. Tony.
You're right.
Boo!
Ah!
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Hi, Jeannie!
TONY:
Look, uh, I...
Ah! Jeannie, I am your master
and I command you to...
[LAUGHS]
Well, that's reasoning with her.
Jeannie? Jeannie?
Jeannies to the left of us,
Jeannies to the right of us.
Major Nelson.
Major, are you here?
And Dr. Bellows
in the middle.
Major Nelson,
I want a full explanation
of your disgraceful conduct
tonight.
Frankly, I was never so shocked
in all my life.
Well, stick around, sir.
I think we can top it.
Alfred, now,
don't be so pompous.
I'm sure the major has
a perfectly good explanation
if you'll just give him
a chance.
Please, Amanda.
Well, Major Nelson?
Uh, sir, it's late. Couldn't
we talk about this tomorrow?
No, we cannot.
Oh, major,
did you find out
where you could get
one of these exquisite bottles
for me?
Uh, no... No,
that's one of a kind.
Oh, well, why in the world
do you keep a hankie
stuck in the jar?
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
Because it's...
In the morning, major,
you will have to explain your
conduct to General Peterson.
And I assure you that he will
not be as sympathetic
towards your, uh,
explanations as I am.
So I suggest you get started.
Oh, darling, stop badgering him.
Sir, you're gonna find this
hard to believe.
All your explanations
are hard to believe.
Oh, darling,
give the boy a chance.
I'm sure he'll come up
with something.
[LAUGHING] Have you seen this?
Oh... What?
Excuse me.
Oh, Dr. Bellows,
if you could just watch me.
It's a very strange dance.
You go this way...
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
That's it.
Ah!
Alfred, Alfred, Alfred!
Shh! No, not that way.
Spin around.
That's the new stance.
[LAUGHS] Oh!
Major...
Huh? Oh, it's all right.
It's all right.
You look lovely that way.
You really do.
BELLOWS: Major Healey,
what are you doing?
ROGER:
Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh...
That's the latest dance.
Major, I...
???
Alfred!
Oh, what...?
Alfred! Alfred!
What's going on, here?
I don't know.
But I'm soon going to find out.
You are the one
who is making my master
act so strangely.
That's right, darling.
Everything's going
according to plan.
And now that Major Nelson thinks
you've turned against him,
he's going to get rid of you
forever.
And that's where I step in.
No! I will not permit it.
There's only one thing
I hadn't counted on.
That stupid Major Healey letting
the genie out of the bag.
[SQUEALS]
Sister, you go home!
Major Nelson is mine
and I will never give him up.
Oh, well, I have news for you,
darling.
He's ready to give you up.
[LAUGHS]
See you later, alligator.
[SCREAMS]
Well, sir,
it all started years ago.
[CRASH]
What...?
What is that?
Years ago, when I first
experienced
my first earthquake.
Earthquake?
Don't be ridiculous.
Oh!
What...?
Uh, under the table.
It's safer.
[CRASH]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
I... I... I've always been
terrified of earthquakes, sir.
I... I felt the first tremor
in the nightclub,
and... And that's when
I hit the floor.
It's safer there.
Oh...
it's not safer here.
Major, I offer you
my profound apologies.
If we ever live through this,
I'm gonna make it up to you.
Uh... Uh, you may
live through it, sir,
but I'm not so sure about me.
Oh, what's happening? Oh!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
You all right?
Help me up.
Oh.
Oh.
Well, it's over, sir, I think.
Honey, let's go home, quick.
I... I wanna see
what happened to our house.
Oh, good night, major.
Uh, once more, my apologies.
I'll ever doubt your word again.
Yes.
It's over. It's over.
Yeah, for them, maybe,
but not for you.
Jeannie's still probably here.
Huh?
Ah!
It is all right, master.
It is all right.
It really is over.
My sister is gone.
Your sister?
Yes, my sister.
She was the one
who caused all the trouble.
She thought that if she
could convince you
that I had turned against you,
that you would get rid of me.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
And then she could have you
all to herself.
She was going
to put you in a cage.
Yeah, well,
it very nearly worked.
Oh, master, I am so sorry.
I promise you
she will never bother you again.
I am sending her home to mama
on ice.
Master?
Well, what is the matter?
I am your genie.
Can you not tell the difference?
Can you tell?
That reminds me.
I'm gonna make myself
a drink on the rocks.
A large drink.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah. Large rocks.
Large rocks.
Master?
Uh...
But... But...
[SIGHS]
Master!
[♪]