I Dream of Jeannie (1965–1970): Season 4, Episode 15 - Ride 'Em Astronaut - full transcript
After being the millionth customer at a local market, Jeannie become queen of a local rodeo that Tony has to enter.
[♪]
Let's see...
"One carton
tohmemie."
"Two pounds kipbi."
Hmmm.
"One quart yachni."
Ooh. Low-fat.
One... Oh, hello,
Major Healey.
Hi, Jeannie.
What are you doing here?
I am doing the grocery shopping.
Aren't you afraid
somebody'll see you?
Oh, no. I promised my master
that no one would notice me.
I am being very careful.
See?
Why not give it
the old one, two, three,
and blink up a whole
cupboard full of groceries?
I could not do that. I would
miss out on all the specials.
Low-fat yachni.
Mm-hm.
And it is only 79 cents.
That's a break.
Seventy-nine cents. Oh.
Excuse me,
you're blocking traffic.
Oh, I am terribly sorry.
This is a supermarket,
not a dating bureau.
Nice talking to you.
I do not know why people
have to be so unpleasant.
I guess not everybody has
a genie to do their shopping.
Let's get outta here.
Follow me. Shh, right here.
Nine hundred
and ninety-eight.
Nine hundred thousand,
nine hundred and ninety-nine.
One million.
She's the one.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
Congratulations, miss.
You are the one millionth person
to shop in Food City.
And you won't believe
what's gonna happen to you.
No.
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present
the queen of the supermarket.
[APPLAUSE]
[♪]
[♪]
[♪]
[APPLAUSE]
I do not understand.
Ah, well, she's a little
flustered, and no wonder.
It's very simple, miss.
You are the one millionth person
to shop in Food City.
And we're gonna honor you
with some marvelous prizes.
Oh, well, thank you very much,
but I do not think...
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Don't be selfish.
Think about... Tony.
Oh, I am thinking of him,
and I do not think he...
Well, don't think of Tony.
Think of me. What, eh...?
What...?
What kind of prizes?
Well, first of all,
a month's free groceries.
A month's supply
of free groceries.
Good, good, good.
What...? What else?
An entire wardrobe
by Jeannette Dupree
of Cocoa Beach.
Oh, Major Healey,
I make all my own clothes.
You're being selfish again.
I'll take it.
Major Healey, you would
look silly in a wardrobe
by Jeannette Dupree.
Are you kidding? It's free,
I'll wear it. She'll accept.
Fine, fine, fine, fine.
Now, Miss, eh...
What's your name?
Major Healey, I...
Major Healey.
J-Jeannie. Jeannie's her name.
Major Jeannie.
Uh, n-no, just Jeannie.
I do not have a last name.
Ah, la... La... Her last name
is Nelson. Nelson.
1020 Palm Drive,
uh, Cocoa Beach.
Miss or Mrs.?
Alas, I am not a Mrs.
Good, because
for single persons,
we have a special bonus prize.
Really?
Don't tell me.
Uh, two weeks in Hawaii?
[LAUGHING] Oh, no, no.
A convertible?
Her own tropic island?
Major Healey, I cannot
go any further with this
until I have spoken
to my master.
I shall return.
Nothing quite as elaborate
as that, major. It's...
What happened to the queen?
Uh, what queen?
The queen of the supermarket.
Oh, that queen.
Well, she's over
near the yachni section.
Seventy-five cent sp-special.
I'll get her.
[♪]
Major Nelson, I don't understand
your reluctance.
The Cocoa Beach Rodeo
is gonna be quite a gala affair.
Oh, sir, I... I rode a lot
when I was a kid,
but I haven't been on a horse
in five years.
Well, you won't be
required to perform.
All you have to do as honorary
grand marshal is to ride in,
and then preside
over the contests.
Dr. Bellows, I'm no good
at publicity. You know that.
All those personal appearances...
All right, major, all right.
All the other astronauts
are gonna be occupied,
so I suppose
I'll have to do it myself.
[♪]
There.
That's very colorful, sir.
Well, I used to do
a bit of riding
myself in my younger days.
Pecos Alfred, they called me.
You'll be wonderful.
Yeah.
I'm sorry you won't join us,
Nelson.
I'll be seeing you, pardner.
Pardner.
Good morning, master.
Jeannie, what are you doing?
I've told you... Dr. Bellows...
What if you had popped in then?
I'm sorry, master,
but I had to talk to you.
I have been made
queen of the supermarkets.
You've been made what?!
Well, you see, I... I was the
millionth customer in Food City,
a-and so they
made me queen.
I did not wish to accept,
and there are a lot of prizes,
but Major Healey said that I
would be very selfish...
Wait. Was Roger there with you?
Never mind.
Don't go any further.
He heard "prizes" and he...
He went crazy, right?
That's right, master.
You can't do it.
That's impossible. You know
about you and publicity.
They'll ask questions,
all that stuff.
You do not have
to shout at me, master.
I did not want to accept.
Oh, well, all... All right.
Is...? Is Roger still there?
Yes, master.
All right, now, y-you go home
and don't show your face
around that food market again,
you understand?
Thank you.
Let's see how Roger's
gonna get his prizes
without a queen.
Ha, ha, ha.
Lunch is ready, master.
Guess what I've made.
Well, if it's sautéed khaldoons,
I'm tired of them.
Oh, no, master. It is paella.
Look. Oh.
[WHOOPING]
[♪]
Hey, horses.
Oh!
Horses on our street?
Yeah, how about...
Oh, it must have something to do
with the rodeo Dr. Bellows
tried to rope me into.
You sure this is the house?
Yeah, it says 1020 Palm Drive.
Well, the little filly
must be in there. Whoo!
[♪]
Come on.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
You'd better get back
to your bottle. Yeah, go on.
Tsk. Oh!
Howdy, pardner.
Hi, hi. Ow.
Hi. A-are you guys
looking for me?
Well, not unless you changed
a whole lot in the last hour.
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
Well, if it's about the rodeo,
I've already told Dr. Bellows
that I can't be
the grand marshal.
Now, whoa there, sonny.
You're a mite confused.
We don't want you.
We're looking for
a pretty little filly
by the name of, uh, Jeannie.
That's right.
Jeannie?
Yeah, the one that
was over at the Food City
a couple hours ago.
Uh, she won the grand prize.
Which means she's gonna be
queen of the Cocoa Beach Rodeo.
[WHOOPS]
[WHOOPS]
[CHUCKLES]
Quite a pair of lungs
you got there, Tex.
Well, I'm afraid you made a
mistake.
Oh, hold on, sonny,
there's no mistake.
She gave her address
as 1020 Palm Drive.
Well, there's nobody
by that name living here.
I'll go get her.
Oh, hi, hi, guys.
Hi. Great, isn't it?
Yeah, I wanna talk to you.
Not now.
I've gotta get the queen.
Yeah, right now.
Don't go away, guys.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I just had this thing pressed.
Have you gone
stark staring berserk?
Ah, I know
what you're upset about:
It's the prizes, right?
I'll give you the food.
I'll take the convertible
and trip to Hawaii...
No, no. Jeannie's not
queen of anything.
Too late. She's already queen.
If that woman hadn't crowded...
MAN: Hey, major.
Uh, wait a minute.
I had this pressed.
Wait a minute, will you?
I just had this suit pressed.
Don't you understand?
Officially,
Jeannie doesn't exist.
No birth certificate,
passport, driver's license.
A driver's license?
You don't need a driver's
license to ride a horse.
Or a passport.
She's a genie!
[YELLS]
You called, master?
No, no, I...
I did.
No, no. Back to your bottle.
But I heard...
It was a mistake.
Back in your bottle.
On better thought,
go to see your mother
in Baghdad.
Major Healey. Aha,
there's our lucky little queen.
What happened to you in the
market? We looked everywhere.
Well, I-I thought I should...
She got very excited
and just wanted
to tell someone about it.
I can certainly understand that.
She's got a great experience
ahead of her.
Now step outside. There's some
people who'd like to meet you.
Oh, thank you.
I do not think I should.
Yeah, she'd love to.
But I...
I didn't say any...
Now you have to
go through with it.
He's already seen you.
Miss, I'd like you to meet
Mr. Charles Akins,
the owner of the
Wild West Rodeo.
How do you do, sir?
Hey, what about me?
Ain't somebody gonna introduce
me to the little filly?
Rein in, Billy boy, rein in.
Miss, this is Wild Bill Barrows,
our best bronco buster.
BARROWS [LAUGHING]:
Yes, ma'am.
And I'm the roughest,
toughest, rootinest, tootinest,
ring-tailed buckaroo
that ever roped a calf.
[WHOOPS]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Take it easy.
Don't worry none, major.
Billy Boy won' hurt her.
Besides, if he comes out
top cowboy
in this rodeo
like he figures to, heh-heh,
why, he'll even win a date
with this pretty little filly
as part of the prize.
Whoo-hoo!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, old pardner.
Take it easy there.
Heh-heh-heh!
Hey, fella, cool it.
Easy there, son.
Don't you know better
than to go fussing
around a man
working with a loop?
[YELLS]
[SCREAMS]
You... You hurt my master!
Billy boy,
what in tarnation happened?
Here.
Dad-blamest thing
I ever saw.
That little lady roped me
in nothing flat.
You know, she's
a natural-born cowgirl.
[SCREAMS]
Oh, little lady,
when I win this here contest,
you and me are gonna go out
and have ourselves a time!
Yee-haw!
Hey, watch it! Watch it!
Believe me, I don't like
the idea any more than you,
but you've got
to go through with it.
Why could I not just disappear
until the rodeo is over?
Because...
I can go visit my mother.
No, no.
Everybody's seen you here.
They'd ask questions.
They know you live here.
So you are just going to
abandon me?
Wh-what's so terrible
about it?
All you have to do is be the
queen of the rodeo, that's all.
Yeah, and go out
with Genghis Khan.
Oh, come on,
you're exaggerating.
Wild Bill Barrows
is not Genghis Khan.
Oh, yes, he is too, master.
They are exactly alike.
You forget.
I knew Genghis Khan.
You don't even have an
indication that he's gonna win.
He will win.
Genghis Khan always wins.
Oh...
I know.
I will fix it
so that he cannot win.
I will make him fall...
No, no, no. No tricks. No.
Jeannie, Jeannie, no tricks.
That's exactly why I'm having
you do this.
So nobody'll get suspicious.
Oh, but, master, have pity...
No, I'm sorry. You're gonna
have to do it my way.
That's an order.
Very well, master.
I will do it your way.
But you will not like it.
Now, wait a minute. Don't...
Don't go...
No, no, no.
I don't want you to go...
J-Jeannie, come back here.
Jeannie!
[♪]
ROGER:
Howdy, pardners.
Stop.
Yeah. Whoa.
Oh, now I know why
they call these "chaps."
Now remember what we're
supposed to do.
What're we supposed to do?
We get next to Jeannie
in the box, right? Yeah.
If she looks like she's gonna
zap Brewster, we stop her. Dig?
Why don't we just sit next to
her in our uniforms?
Because she would connect me
with Dr. Bellows.
Yeah, of course.
The thing to do is just
look like all
the other cowboys around here.
You know, relax,
take it easy, just easy.
Walk bowlegged, right?
Here we go.
Just a minute, gents.
Sign here.
Uh, what am I signing here?
It's nothing.
You gotta sign
before you get in.
Oh, good.
Here, sign that.
I'm not signing.
Just sign it.
Yeah, I'm signing it.
Okay.
Thanks, gents.
You know,
entering a rodeo is a mite
dangerous thing. Ha-ha-ha!
In case anything happens,
this is a notification
to your next of kin.
[LAUGHS]
What do you mean? We're... We're
not signing up with anybody.
No, we were just walking
through...
Everyone's ready,
Mr. Akins.
Shall we start the parade?
Sure, Pecos Alfred.
I was just signing up
these last two cowpokes.
BELLOWS:
What event are they entering?
They haven't
made up their mind yet.
Oh, they think we're entering.
We're not. We'll get out of it.
It's just, uh, bulldogging,
calf roping, that kind of stuff.
I was almost trampled by my
rocking horse when I was 3.
I'm not signing anything.
I'll be with you in a minute,
soon as I finish
signing them up.
Okay, I'll see you later.
You sure get some strange ones.
Well, boys, what's it gonna be?
Huh? Is it gonna be rearing
a steer or rearing a horse?
Oh, now.
What about a wild chicken?
[LAUGHS]
Oh, no, I didn't come to enter.
He's, uh...
My old buddy here is a clown.
A rodeo clown. Oh, yeah,
you wanna watch something?
[LAUGHS]
That's great.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!
Hurt me.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
[♪]
[CROWD WHISTLING, CHEERING]
WOMAN:
Whoo-hoo!
[APPLAUSE]
[APPLAUSE]
Oh. Oh, Tony. Oh,
look at that, look at that.
What?
Lookit!
[WHOOPING]
[BOTH LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]
Yeah. Next... Next time around,
you get the genie
and tell her to
blink us outta here
before I get killed, huh?
Yeah.
Come on.
Yeah.
Jeannie, the one
with the moustache.
Do you see the one
with the moustache?
Jeannie? Ahhh!
[APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHING]
BARROWS: You clowns
are something else.
AKINS [OVER PA]:
Ladies and gentlemen,
we want to extend to one and all
a sincere welcome.
The Cocoa Beach Rodeo
is about to begin.
[LAUGHS]
BARROWS: All right,
partner, time to go
back to work.
[MARCHING BAND PLAYING]
[SNEEZING]
AKINS:
Ladies and gentlemen,
the first event of the afternoon
is gonna be calf roping.
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
[CALF MOOS]
[CROWD CHEERING, WHISTLING]
[COW MOOING]
Contestant number seven:
Wild Bill Barrows.
[APPLAUSE]
[CALF MOOING]
Yeah! Ladies and gentlemen,
the best time yet: 16 seconds.
Contestant number eight
is a late entry
all the way from Texas:
The Pinto Kid.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
First time
I ever saw anything like that.
The horse roped him.
AKINS: Another record
for Wild Bill Barrows.
Sure looks like Wild Bill's
gonna be your date tonight. Heh.
Aw, doggone it.
[APPLAUSE]
Jeannie, the Pinto Kid...
Ha, ha, ha.
Whoa! Oh, God.
AKINS: And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
the event that you all
have been waiting for.
The final of the Cocoa Beach
Rodeo: Bronco busting.
Featuring the wildest
and most dangerous horseflesh
ever shot out of a corral.
[LAUGHS]
As a special prize
for this event,
winner will have the privilege
of escorting our lovely queen
for an evening on the town.
[APPLAUSE]
Sorry, this is it, Ton. The...
The one we've been waiting for.
Did you get a hold of Jeannie?
Some clown hit me with water.
Oh.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Come on, you gotta get up.
Jeannie's counting on you.
Oh, no.
MAN: Get outta the ring.
Full strength, right here.
AKINS: Ladies and gentlemen,
a new rodeo record.
Wild Bill has stayed
on Blue Devil for 30 seconds.
Did you hear that?
Bill Barrows has got us
locked up unless you beat him.
Well, I hope he and Jeannie
have a very nice time.
You're not giving up?
No.
I'm giving out.
Goodbye.
Wait a minute.
That's not the way out. Wait.
There he is,
ladies and gentlemen.
The last contestant:
The Pinto Kid.
[TONY STAMMERING]
Crazy. Here we go.
Huh? Ahhh!
[LAUGHING
NERVOUSLY]
Go in. Go on, come on.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
This is not part of...
What do you mean?
Just go.
[YELLS]
[TONY YELLING]
[APPLAUSE]
[YAWNS]
Jeannie. Oh. Oh.
[SCREAMS]
It's me. Look. Roger. Yeah.
[GASPS]
Oh. Oh, ha, ha, Major Healey.
Ha, ha.
What are you doing here?
What am I doing here?
What am I doing here?!
That's Tony out there.
My master? Where?
The Pinto Kid,
the one that's
about to be killed
to keep you from going out
with Wild Bill Barrows.
Oh, master.
[SQUEALS]
Oh.
[YELLING]
Oh, master.
[YELLING]
[YELLS]
[LAUGHS]
Fantastic.
AKINS:
It's just incredible.
The Pinto Kid
has stayed on that horse
for five full minutes.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHING]
Oh, that should do it.
A minute would have done it.
I know,
but I could not help
teaching my master a lesson.
[TONY YELLING]
[♪]
Boy, let me tell you.
Here, boy.
Congratulations.
That's the greatest performance
I ever did see.
Major Nelson.
Hello, Dr. Bellows.
And I thought you didn't know
anything about horses.
I don't.
But I sure know a lot
about women.
Over this way, boy.
This way, boy.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, darling master,
where shall we go to dinner?
Dinner?
[WHIMPERING]
Oh, you look beautiful, master.
Oh, thank you.
I suppose you will be going
to the Surf for dinner.
Mm-hm.
And then perhaps dancing
and a-a drive along the beach?
That's right.
It is a beautiful night for it.
Yeah, yeah. Full moon.
H-have a wonderful time.
I will. And do not worry
about getting home early.
I won't.
I will be fine.
Good. Good night, Jeannie.
Good night.
Master.
Aren't you dressed yet?
They're not gonna hold a table.
It's very busy.
But I thought...
Je... You know I hate
to have a date keep me waiting.
Now, will you hurry up?
Oh, master.
Oh, I am so happy.
[♪]
Let's see...
"One carton
tohmemie."
"Two pounds kipbi."
Hmmm.
"One quart yachni."
Ooh. Low-fat.
One... Oh, hello,
Major Healey.
Hi, Jeannie.
What are you doing here?
I am doing the grocery shopping.
Aren't you afraid
somebody'll see you?
Oh, no. I promised my master
that no one would notice me.
I am being very careful.
See?
Why not give it
the old one, two, three,
and blink up a whole
cupboard full of groceries?
I could not do that. I would
miss out on all the specials.
Low-fat yachni.
Mm-hm.
And it is only 79 cents.
That's a break.
Seventy-nine cents. Oh.
Excuse me,
you're blocking traffic.
Oh, I am terribly sorry.
This is a supermarket,
not a dating bureau.
Nice talking to you.
I do not know why people
have to be so unpleasant.
I guess not everybody has
a genie to do their shopping.
Let's get outta here.
Follow me. Shh, right here.
Nine hundred
and ninety-eight.
Nine hundred thousand,
nine hundred and ninety-nine.
One million.
She's the one.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
Congratulations, miss.
You are the one millionth person
to shop in Food City.
And you won't believe
what's gonna happen to you.
No.
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present
the queen of the supermarket.
[APPLAUSE]
[♪]
[♪]
[♪]
[APPLAUSE]
I do not understand.
Ah, well, she's a little
flustered, and no wonder.
It's very simple, miss.
You are the one millionth person
to shop in Food City.
And we're gonna honor you
with some marvelous prizes.
Oh, well, thank you very much,
but I do not think...
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Don't be selfish.
Think about... Tony.
Oh, I am thinking of him,
and I do not think he...
Well, don't think of Tony.
Think of me. What, eh...?
What...?
What kind of prizes?
Well, first of all,
a month's free groceries.
A month's supply
of free groceries.
Good, good, good.
What...? What else?
An entire wardrobe
by Jeannette Dupree
of Cocoa Beach.
Oh, Major Healey,
I make all my own clothes.
You're being selfish again.
I'll take it.
Major Healey, you would
look silly in a wardrobe
by Jeannette Dupree.
Are you kidding? It's free,
I'll wear it. She'll accept.
Fine, fine, fine, fine.
Now, Miss, eh...
What's your name?
Major Healey, I...
Major Healey.
J-Jeannie. Jeannie's her name.
Major Jeannie.
Uh, n-no, just Jeannie.
I do not have a last name.
Ah, la... La... Her last name
is Nelson. Nelson.
1020 Palm Drive,
uh, Cocoa Beach.
Miss or Mrs.?
Alas, I am not a Mrs.
Good, because
for single persons,
we have a special bonus prize.
Really?
Don't tell me.
Uh, two weeks in Hawaii?
[LAUGHING] Oh, no, no.
A convertible?
Her own tropic island?
Major Healey, I cannot
go any further with this
until I have spoken
to my master.
I shall return.
Nothing quite as elaborate
as that, major. It's...
What happened to the queen?
Uh, what queen?
The queen of the supermarket.
Oh, that queen.
Well, she's over
near the yachni section.
Seventy-five cent sp-special.
I'll get her.
[♪]
Major Nelson, I don't understand
your reluctance.
The Cocoa Beach Rodeo
is gonna be quite a gala affair.
Oh, sir, I... I rode a lot
when I was a kid,
but I haven't been on a horse
in five years.
Well, you won't be
required to perform.
All you have to do as honorary
grand marshal is to ride in,
and then preside
over the contests.
Dr. Bellows, I'm no good
at publicity. You know that.
All those personal appearances...
All right, major, all right.
All the other astronauts
are gonna be occupied,
so I suppose
I'll have to do it myself.
[♪]
There.
That's very colorful, sir.
Well, I used to do
a bit of riding
myself in my younger days.
Pecos Alfred, they called me.
You'll be wonderful.
Yeah.
I'm sorry you won't join us,
Nelson.
I'll be seeing you, pardner.
Pardner.
Good morning, master.
Jeannie, what are you doing?
I've told you... Dr. Bellows...
What if you had popped in then?
I'm sorry, master,
but I had to talk to you.
I have been made
queen of the supermarkets.
You've been made what?!
Well, you see, I... I was the
millionth customer in Food City,
a-and so they
made me queen.
I did not wish to accept,
and there are a lot of prizes,
but Major Healey said that I
would be very selfish...
Wait. Was Roger there with you?
Never mind.
Don't go any further.
He heard "prizes" and he...
He went crazy, right?
That's right, master.
You can't do it.
That's impossible. You know
about you and publicity.
They'll ask questions,
all that stuff.
You do not have
to shout at me, master.
I did not want to accept.
Oh, well, all... All right.
Is...? Is Roger still there?
Yes, master.
All right, now, y-you go home
and don't show your face
around that food market again,
you understand?
Thank you.
Let's see how Roger's
gonna get his prizes
without a queen.
Ha, ha, ha.
Lunch is ready, master.
Guess what I've made.
Well, if it's sautéed khaldoons,
I'm tired of them.
Oh, no, master. It is paella.
Look. Oh.
[WHOOPING]
[♪]
Hey, horses.
Oh!
Horses on our street?
Yeah, how about...
Oh, it must have something to do
with the rodeo Dr. Bellows
tried to rope me into.
You sure this is the house?
Yeah, it says 1020 Palm Drive.
Well, the little filly
must be in there. Whoo!
[♪]
Come on.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
You'd better get back
to your bottle. Yeah, go on.
Tsk. Oh!
Howdy, pardner.
Hi, hi. Ow.
Hi. A-are you guys
looking for me?
Well, not unless you changed
a whole lot in the last hour.
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
Well, if it's about the rodeo,
I've already told Dr. Bellows
that I can't be
the grand marshal.
Now, whoa there, sonny.
You're a mite confused.
We don't want you.
We're looking for
a pretty little filly
by the name of, uh, Jeannie.
That's right.
Jeannie?
Yeah, the one that
was over at the Food City
a couple hours ago.
Uh, she won the grand prize.
Which means she's gonna be
queen of the Cocoa Beach Rodeo.
[WHOOPS]
[WHOOPS]
[CHUCKLES]
Quite a pair of lungs
you got there, Tex.
Well, I'm afraid you made a
mistake.
Oh, hold on, sonny,
there's no mistake.
She gave her address
as 1020 Palm Drive.
Well, there's nobody
by that name living here.
I'll go get her.
Oh, hi, hi, guys.
Hi. Great, isn't it?
Yeah, I wanna talk to you.
Not now.
I've gotta get the queen.
Yeah, right now.
Don't go away, guys.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I just had this thing pressed.
Have you gone
stark staring berserk?
Ah, I know
what you're upset about:
It's the prizes, right?
I'll give you the food.
I'll take the convertible
and trip to Hawaii...
No, no. Jeannie's not
queen of anything.
Too late. She's already queen.
If that woman hadn't crowded...
MAN: Hey, major.
Uh, wait a minute.
I had this pressed.
Wait a minute, will you?
I just had this suit pressed.
Don't you understand?
Officially,
Jeannie doesn't exist.
No birth certificate,
passport, driver's license.
A driver's license?
You don't need a driver's
license to ride a horse.
Or a passport.
She's a genie!
[YELLS]
You called, master?
No, no, I...
I did.
No, no. Back to your bottle.
But I heard...
It was a mistake.
Back in your bottle.
On better thought,
go to see your mother
in Baghdad.
Major Healey. Aha,
there's our lucky little queen.
What happened to you in the
market? We looked everywhere.
Well, I-I thought I should...
She got very excited
and just wanted
to tell someone about it.
I can certainly understand that.
She's got a great experience
ahead of her.
Now step outside. There's some
people who'd like to meet you.
Oh, thank you.
I do not think I should.
Yeah, she'd love to.
But I...
I didn't say any...
Now you have to
go through with it.
He's already seen you.
Miss, I'd like you to meet
Mr. Charles Akins,
the owner of the
Wild West Rodeo.
How do you do, sir?
Hey, what about me?
Ain't somebody gonna introduce
me to the little filly?
Rein in, Billy boy, rein in.
Miss, this is Wild Bill Barrows,
our best bronco buster.
BARROWS [LAUGHING]:
Yes, ma'am.
And I'm the roughest,
toughest, rootinest, tootinest,
ring-tailed buckaroo
that ever roped a calf.
[WHOOPS]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Take it easy.
Don't worry none, major.
Billy Boy won' hurt her.
Besides, if he comes out
top cowboy
in this rodeo
like he figures to, heh-heh,
why, he'll even win a date
with this pretty little filly
as part of the prize.
Whoo-hoo!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, old pardner.
Take it easy there.
Heh-heh-heh!
Hey, fella, cool it.
Easy there, son.
Don't you know better
than to go fussing
around a man
working with a loop?
[YELLS]
[SCREAMS]
You... You hurt my master!
Billy boy,
what in tarnation happened?
Here.
Dad-blamest thing
I ever saw.
That little lady roped me
in nothing flat.
You know, she's
a natural-born cowgirl.
[SCREAMS]
Oh, little lady,
when I win this here contest,
you and me are gonna go out
and have ourselves a time!
Yee-haw!
Hey, watch it! Watch it!
Believe me, I don't like
the idea any more than you,
but you've got
to go through with it.
Why could I not just disappear
until the rodeo is over?
Because...
I can go visit my mother.
No, no.
Everybody's seen you here.
They'd ask questions.
They know you live here.
So you are just going to
abandon me?
Wh-what's so terrible
about it?
All you have to do is be the
queen of the rodeo, that's all.
Yeah, and go out
with Genghis Khan.
Oh, come on,
you're exaggerating.
Wild Bill Barrows
is not Genghis Khan.
Oh, yes, he is too, master.
They are exactly alike.
You forget.
I knew Genghis Khan.
You don't even have an
indication that he's gonna win.
He will win.
Genghis Khan always wins.
Oh...
I know.
I will fix it
so that he cannot win.
I will make him fall...
No, no, no. No tricks. No.
Jeannie, Jeannie, no tricks.
That's exactly why I'm having
you do this.
So nobody'll get suspicious.
Oh, but, master, have pity...
No, I'm sorry. You're gonna
have to do it my way.
That's an order.
Very well, master.
I will do it your way.
But you will not like it.
Now, wait a minute. Don't...
Don't go...
No, no, no.
I don't want you to go...
J-Jeannie, come back here.
Jeannie!
[♪]
ROGER:
Howdy, pardners.
Stop.
Yeah. Whoa.
Oh, now I know why
they call these "chaps."
Now remember what we're
supposed to do.
What're we supposed to do?
We get next to Jeannie
in the box, right? Yeah.
If she looks like she's gonna
zap Brewster, we stop her. Dig?
Why don't we just sit next to
her in our uniforms?
Because she would connect me
with Dr. Bellows.
Yeah, of course.
The thing to do is just
look like all
the other cowboys around here.
You know, relax,
take it easy, just easy.
Walk bowlegged, right?
Here we go.
Just a minute, gents.
Sign here.
Uh, what am I signing here?
It's nothing.
You gotta sign
before you get in.
Oh, good.
Here, sign that.
I'm not signing.
Just sign it.
Yeah, I'm signing it.
Okay.
Thanks, gents.
You know,
entering a rodeo is a mite
dangerous thing. Ha-ha-ha!
In case anything happens,
this is a notification
to your next of kin.
[LAUGHS]
What do you mean? We're... We're
not signing up with anybody.
No, we were just walking
through...
Everyone's ready,
Mr. Akins.
Shall we start the parade?
Sure, Pecos Alfred.
I was just signing up
these last two cowpokes.
BELLOWS:
What event are they entering?
They haven't
made up their mind yet.
Oh, they think we're entering.
We're not. We'll get out of it.
It's just, uh, bulldogging,
calf roping, that kind of stuff.
I was almost trampled by my
rocking horse when I was 3.
I'm not signing anything.
I'll be with you in a minute,
soon as I finish
signing them up.
Okay, I'll see you later.
You sure get some strange ones.
Well, boys, what's it gonna be?
Huh? Is it gonna be rearing
a steer or rearing a horse?
Oh, now.
What about a wild chicken?
[LAUGHS]
Oh, no, I didn't come to enter.
He's, uh...
My old buddy here is a clown.
A rodeo clown. Oh, yeah,
you wanna watch something?
[LAUGHS]
That's great.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!
Hurt me.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
[♪]
[CROWD WHISTLING, CHEERING]
WOMAN:
Whoo-hoo!
[APPLAUSE]
[APPLAUSE]
Oh. Oh, Tony. Oh,
look at that, look at that.
What?
Lookit!
[WHOOPING]
[BOTH LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]
Yeah. Next... Next time around,
you get the genie
and tell her to
blink us outta here
before I get killed, huh?
Yeah.
Come on.
Yeah.
Jeannie, the one
with the moustache.
Do you see the one
with the moustache?
Jeannie? Ahhh!
[APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHING]
BARROWS: You clowns
are something else.
AKINS [OVER PA]:
Ladies and gentlemen,
we want to extend to one and all
a sincere welcome.
The Cocoa Beach Rodeo
is about to begin.
[LAUGHS]
BARROWS: All right,
partner, time to go
back to work.
[MARCHING BAND PLAYING]
[SNEEZING]
AKINS:
Ladies and gentlemen,
the first event of the afternoon
is gonna be calf roping.
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
[CALF MOOS]
[CROWD CHEERING, WHISTLING]
[COW MOOING]
Contestant number seven:
Wild Bill Barrows.
[APPLAUSE]
[CALF MOOING]
Yeah! Ladies and gentlemen,
the best time yet: 16 seconds.
Contestant number eight
is a late entry
all the way from Texas:
The Pinto Kid.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
First time
I ever saw anything like that.
The horse roped him.
AKINS: Another record
for Wild Bill Barrows.
Sure looks like Wild Bill's
gonna be your date tonight. Heh.
Aw, doggone it.
[APPLAUSE]
Jeannie, the Pinto Kid...
Ha, ha, ha.
Whoa! Oh, God.
AKINS: And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
the event that you all
have been waiting for.
The final of the Cocoa Beach
Rodeo: Bronco busting.
Featuring the wildest
and most dangerous horseflesh
ever shot out of a corral.
[LAUGHS]
As a special prize
for this event,
winner will have the privilege
of escorting our lovely queen
for an evening on the town.
[APPLAUSE]
Sorry, this is it, Ton. The...
The one we've been waiting for.
Did you get a hold of Jeannie?
Some clown hit me with water.
Oh.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Come on, you gotta get up.
Jeannie's counting on you.
Oh, no.
MAN: Get outta the ring.
Full strength, right here.
AKINS: Ladies and gentlemen,
a new rodeo record.
Wild Bill has stayed
on Blue Devil for 30 seconds.
Did you hear that?
Bill Barrows has got us
locked up unless you beat him.
Well, I hope he and Jeannie
have a very nice time.
You're not giving up?
No.
I'm giving out.
Goodbye.
Wait a minute.
That's not the way out. Wait.
There he is,
ladies and gentlemen.
The last contestant:
The Pinto Kid.
[TONY STAMMERING]
Crazy. Here we go.
Huh? Ahhh!
[LAUGHING
NERVOUSLY]
Go in. Go on, come on.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
This is not part of...
What do you mean?
Just go.
[YELLS]
[TONY YELLING]
[APPLAUSE]
[YAWNS]
Jeannie. Oh. Oh.
[SCREAMS]
It's me. Look. Roger. Yeah.
[GASPS]
Oh. Oh, ha, ha, Major Healey.
Ha, ha.
What are you doing here?
What am I doing here?
What am I doing here?!
That's Tony out there.
My master? Where?
The Pinto Kid,
the one that's
about to be killed
to keep you from going out
with Wild Bill Barrows.
Oh, master.
[SQUEALS]
Oh.
[YELLING]
Oh, master.
[YELLING]
[YELLS]
[LAUGHS]
Fantastic.
AKINS:
It's just incredible.
The Pinto Kid
has stayed on that horse
for five full minutes.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHING]
Oh, that should do it.
A minute would have done it.
I know,
but I could not help
teaching my master a lesson.
[TONY YELLING]
[♪]
Boy, let me tell you.
Here, boy.
Congratulations.
That's the greatest performance
I ever did see.
Major Nelson.
Hello, Dr. Bellows.
And I thought you didn't know
anything about horses.
I don't.
But I sure know a lot
about women.
Over this way, boy.
This way, boy.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, darling master,
where shall we go to dinner?
Dinner?
[WHIMPERING]
Oh, you look beautiful, master.
Oh, thank you.
I suppose you will be going
to the Surf for dinner.
Mm-hm.
And then perhaps dancing
and a-a drive along the beach?
That's right.
It is a beautiful night for it.
Yeah, yeah. Full moon.
H-have a wonderful time.
I will. And do not worry
about getting home early.
I won't.
I will be fine.
Good. Good night, Jeannie.
Good night.
Master.
Aren't you dressed yet?
They're not gonna hold a table.
It's very busy.
But I thought...
Je... You know I hate
to have a date keep me waiting.
Now, will you hurry up?
Oh, master.
Oh, I am so happy.
[♪]