I Dream of Jeannie (1965–1970): Season 3, Episode 9 - Meet My Master's Mother - full transcript
Tony's mother comes to visit and she is determined to marry him off much to Jeannie's annoyance.
[♪]
More coffee, master?
Uh, no, thanks. No.
How long have you been
making coffee anyway?
Oh, about 2000 years.
Hm.
Nobody is perfect.
[CHUCKLES]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, there's the mailman.
Yeah, I...
I will get it.
Uh...
Here is one marked,
"Open carefully.
Personal. Very private."
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I wonder
who that could be from.
There's nothing in here.
It says, "Dear occupant,
"here is your lucky
do-or-die sweepstakes number.
You may already have won
a trip to sunny Spain."
Oh, would you like
to win, master?
No, I've already been
to sunny Spain.
Oh.
It rained.
Oh, here's a letter
from your mother.
No kidding, third one this week.
Poor thing,
she worries about you.
Yeah, I know.
It's getting to be
a hobby of hers.
"Dear Anthony,
I just heard on the radio
"they're having
a cold spell in Florida.
I hope you don't have
a drafty capsule."
[LAUGHING] Oh, that's sweet.
You must write her
and tell her that you are well.
Yeah, listen to this.
"I-I hope you don't have
a drafty cap...
"Why can't you be an astronaut
up here in Bridgeport
where you can eat
lunch at home?"
Oh, she misses you, master.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Listen to this.
"Under separate cover..."
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, um, "Under separate cover.
"I am sending vitamin pills,
uh, gelatin pills,
"and a few minerals
I had lying around the house.
"Your loving mother.
P.S. Bridgeport is lovely
this time of year."
Aw.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Would you mind, please?
Thanks.
Surprise!
[♪]
Mom.
[LAUGHING]
Well...
Well...
Well, what are you doing here?
Oh, I was just passing by.
I got lonely.
Oh, well. Well...
You're just passing by.
Well, Bridgeport is
a thousand miles from here, Mom.
Oh, do you think it's right
for a mother
to be separated from her son
by a thousand miles?
Let me look at you.
You look terrible.
That service haircut,
and you look so thin.
Well, I brought
everything for you.
Yeah?
Uh, organically grown food.
Herbs...
I-I thought you said
you were sending this
under a separate cover.
Separate cover
decided to deliver.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, I worry about you, Anthony.
But no more.
If the mountain
won't come to Mohammed,
then Mohammed comes
to the mountain.
That mountain's
gonna get crowded, Ma.
And I'm here.
Good.
To stay.
Wonderful.
Permanently.
Permanently.
P-permanently?
You know, Mohammed is kidding.
Mother, I really would love
to have you stay,
but I'm kind of short of room.
Oh, whenever did
a mother need room?
Oh, this place is a mess.
But as soon as I unpack,
I'll clean it up.
Oh, it's a lovely house,
Anthony.
But it certainly needs
a woman's touch.
Hm.
[CHUCKLES]
Looks as if it hadn't
been dusted for a year.
Yeah, well, Mother,
there's no reason
for you to bother with that.
Why don't you act like a guest?
Oh, whoever heard
of a mother as a guest?
Yes, well...
Oh-ho.
Dust, dust, dust.
You are a typical
bachelor, Anthony.
Sloppy.
I'll just unpack.
See the dust?
[WIND HOWLING]
Well, you certainly
have a cool ocean breeze.
I think it's the beginning
of Hurricane Jeannie.
You could
catch cold. Look.
Huh? Where?
Over there.
What is it?
Oh, that poor little plant,
it's dying.
Dying just like a dog.
Well, it's lucky
I got here on time.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
And no more hurricanes,
you understand?
Yes, master.
But there was no dust.
Shhh.
To a mother, there was dust.
Yes, master.
We have to make her
as comfortable as possible
while she's here.
MOTHER: Where do you
keep the vacuum cleaner?
I vacuumed it myself
this morning!
[WHISPERS]
Shh! Jeannie, please.
Uh, don't bother, Mother.
Look, all we have to do
is convince her
that I'm well cared for,
and she'll go home.
Ha. That is impossible.
Your house is too dirty,
your hair is too short,
you are too thin.
Yeah, look, she's my mother.
Let's just humor her
while she's here, hm? Okay?
Yes, master.
[LAUGHING]
I can't... I can't...
Oh, she would love that.
Would you please come
get me out of this quickly?
Oh, but you look so much better.
Get me out of this...
Come on. I mean it.
That's better.
That's much better.
Now, you.
Go, go on, get out.
Oh.
Please?
Anthony, I'm going to get us
a little lunch.
Oh.
Ah.
How can anyone live
just on ice cubes?
[LAUGHS]
Just lucky, I guess.
It's amazing
you haven't starved to death
without me to look after you.
No bread.
No fruit.
Sorry, Mom.
No vegetables.
Mom, I... I've already
set the table.
We can have lunch.
Oh!
You had it set in.
Yes.
[LAUGHING]
Well, it's cold.
A man should have a hot meal
in the middle of the day.
Mustard?
Thank you.
Oh, that'll be fine.
Mother, I wish you'd
let me take the couch
and you take my bed.
I wouldn't dream of it.
But I want you to be
comfortable.
A mother doesn't have
to be comfortable.
Well, then be uncomfortable
in my bed.
I'll be uncomfortable in the way
I want to be uncomfortable.
Okay, but you call me
if you change your mind, Mom.
Yes, dear. Good night.
Good night.
Now you get to bed.
An astronaut needs his sleep.
Okay, Mom.
Oh, my.
I shall sleep tight tonight.
[CREAKS]
[KNOCKS]
Anthony!
Anthony!
What is it?
What is it, Ma?
There is a door under my sheet.
A door?
Oh, you sweet boy.
You remembered
about your mother's bad back.
[CHUCKLES]
So thoughtful of you.
You remembered
that I always slept on a board.
How could I forget?
Oh, there aren't many sons
who would think of a door
for their mother's bed.
No, not many, Ma.
There.
Let me help you.
Now, I shall
sleep tight tonight.
Nothing's going to wake me now.
Good. Oh, here.
[GROANS]
Ah. Thank you, dear.
Good night.
Good night.
[PLAYS "REVEILLE"]
[PANTING]
[CRASHING]
[JEANNIE SHRIEKS]
Ma? Mom?
Ma?
Oh, Anthony?
What is it, dear?
Do you want something to eat?
No.
What was that racket?
I was dreaming.
What a dream I had.
We were in Bridgeport,
right in the main street.
And they were
giving you a parade.
Oh, it was beautiful.
Ticker tape, trumpets,
drums, cymbals.
Boom!
I thought I heard a...
A cannon.
Imagine, a parade for my son.
Anthony the Astronaut.
Tony the Tired.
Oh, dear, why, of course you are
after all that excitement.
Now, you go right back to sleep.
Okay. Good night, Ma.
Sweet dreams.
Good night.
Sleep tight.
Yeah.
Why aren't you married?
What?
I-I brought some things, um,
for you to see.
Do you remember Daphne?
Daphne?
Yes.
She was the athletic one.
Oh, you used to canter off
into the woods together.
Do you remember?
Well, not at 3:00
in the morning I don't, Mom.
Or perhaps it's Eleanor
you remember.
Eleanor.
With the adorable freckles.
Freckles.
Don't you remember her?
Yes, she always wanted
to be a nurse.
Oh, what a beauty.
Mom, I really gotta
get some sleep, come on.
I'll bet it's Eleanor
you remember.
We'll talk about it
in the morning.
Good night.
How many times have I told you
not to come in here
without knocking?
[DOOR KNOCKS]
What is it?
Oh.
Uh, nothing.
Good night, darling.
W-what's the matter
with you?
I have a mother-in-law
problem.
You can't have
a mother-in-law problem.
We're not married.
I gotta get some sleep.
How long is she going to stay?
I don't know.
I think she's moved in.
Well, I do not think
there's room enough
for all of us here.
Let me worry about this.
You got plenty of room
in your bottle.
Just go pop in.
I gotta get some sleep.
I'm exhausted.
Very well.
What the...?
[SCREAMS]
Doctor, it's so nice of you
to drop in to see me.
Not all, Mrs. Nelson,
I've been looking forward
to meeting Tony's mother.
Oh, thank you.
I've been so worried about Tony.
So have I.
And frankly, I'm relieved
that you're here.
Are you?
I've known your son
for some time now
and I feel that he could use
a sort of sober helping hand.
You mean a mother's hand?
Yes. And you're so
beautifully normal.
[GIGGLES]
Yes, I'm just as normal
as Anthony is.
Oh, he's such a darling.
Do you know, last night
he had me sleeping on a door?
He had you sleep on a door?
He is so thoughtful.
Oh, of course,
he's just an average son.
I'm just an average mother.
I'd like to be
an average grandmother.
Oh, I'm sure
that will come in time.
He needs some nice girl
who would look
after him properly.
He can't go on living
in this dust bowl.
[COUGHING]
I think...
it's getting
a little misty in here.
Perhaps if I...
If I close the windows?
Oh, uh, they're closed.
Would you have
an apricot cookie?
Oh, yes, thank you.
I, uh... I can't see them.
I made them myself this morning.
Where are they?
You know, if it wasn't for me
Anthony would never have
a home-cooked meal.
The last time I was
in a fog like this
was at sea on the Atlantic.
Oh, really?
Did you have a nice crossing?
We were afraid
of hitting an iceberg.
We never have fogs
like this in Bridgeport.
I've never heard of a fog
inside a house.
Neither have I.
Isn't it splendid?
Splendid? You don't mind it?
Oh, not at all.
Don't you know?
It's marvelous
for the complexion.
Yes, well,
I think I'll be running along.
So soon?
Well, yes, I'm afraid so.
Let me get you a hot cup of tea.
You know, I wanted
to discuss Anthony with you.
[FOGHORN SOUND]
Oh, what was that?
Sounded like a foghorn.
In the living room?
[BLOWING]
Oh, doctor.
You backed into the teapot.
Oh, excuse me, I, uh...
Perhaps you could, uh, steer me
in the right direction.
Oh, certainly.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, here we are.
I do hope you'll come again
on a clear day.
Yes, another time, yes,
when I've consulted
my barometer first.
Oh. Oh.
Ooh!
Whoa!
Oh, I'm sorry
you don't like fog.
Well...
Oh!
Well, I've never been crazy
about it.
Oh, uh, excuse me,
I had a hat, Mrs. Nelson.
I'll get it.
Yeah, right over there.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I don't understand.
It's sunny.
There's no fog out there.
Now, now, doctor.
It's best not to get emotional
about the weather.
Yes.
Good day.
Good day.
Psychiatrists.
Always something
a little peculiar.
Oh, hi, Ma. Smells great.
I'm cooking all
of your favorite dishes.
Just as I did
when you were a little boy.
Oh, well, I don't want you
to go to all this trouble.
I'll take you out for dinner.
Out?
Oh, you don't like
my fried chicken.
And apple dumplings.
Oh, no...
With plenty of sugar and spice.
I love it, I do.
It's just that...
Oh!
You'd like to get
out of the house?
Yeah, I sure would, yeah.
All right.
We'll take it with us.
Take it where?
To the beach.
We'll have a picnic.
Okay, sure,
just the two of us, huh?
That's a wonderful idea.
I can't go out of the house
with my hair like this.
Well, it looks fine.
It's a mess.
No.
Give me a mirror.
Well, Mom, I can't get you...
Oh, here.
Why, it looks as if I have
sequins over my eyebrows.
Yes, well, that's
the atmospheric conditions
combined with the kreptactic
light sequentials.
Kreptactic light sequentials.
Isn't science wonderful?
It's nice.
Yeah, it looks fine.
You know, Anthony?
There's something about
the Cocoa Beach climate
that is amazing.
Yeah, it's enough
to curl your hair.
[GIGGLING]
[LAUGHING]
More chicken, Anthony?
Oh, Mom, I couldn't.
Oh, you've scarcely
eaten anything.
[LAUGHS]
Four pieces of chicken,
a half pound of potato salad
and three apple dumplings?
It's getting a little chilly.
Why don't you put on
your jacket, dear?
No, I'm not cold, Ma.
Oh, you need some nice girl
to look after you.
Some nice, old-fashioned girl.
Oh, I had the most
marvelous dream last night.
I dreamt that you met
the perfect girl.
She was blond and beautiful.
She could cook,
she could sew and bright.
She wore thick glasses.
You could see
that she was fond of children.
And what a sense of humor.
Well, Ma, you can't
take dreams too seriously.
[GASPS]
There she is.
That's the girl.
Isn't she lovely?
Yeah.
Cooks, sews and is intelligent.
I beg your pardon, miss.
But would you tell me
where you are from?
Bridgeport.
Bridgeport.
Anthony, did you hear that?
May I see your left hand?
You aren't married.
Tell me you aren't married.
I can tell you,
she's not married.
Oh, my.
Do I have an astronaut for you.
[GIGGLES]
Are you sure
you don't wanna stay
for just a few more days, Ma?
Oh, now that you
have met Jeannie,
I feel that I can
leave you alone.
She'll take
very good care of you.
Oh, I will take
very good care of him.
Well, I don't see why you have
to just rush off, you know.
Oh, I was going
to keep it for a secret.
But this morning, I received
a special delivery letter
from Bridgeport.
I won the do-or-die
sweepstakes.
[CHUCKLES] Oh.
BOTH:
A free trip to sunny Spain.
Yeah.
Isn't that exciting?
[LAUGHING] Yeah.
I've never been to Spain.
I just can't wait.
It's gonna be wonderful
for you, Mother.
BELLOWS:
Major Nelson.
Ah-ah! Not here.
Oh, well, I will go upstairs
and see if you
left anything there.
Yeah, I'll go with you.
Oh, Major Nelson.
Come in, doctor.
Ah.
Oh, well,
hello, Mrs. Nelson.
Forgive me
for barging in like this,
but I, uh...
I heard you were leaving,
and I just want
another chance to exam...
I mean, to wish you bon voyage.
Oh, how kind of you,
doctor. Thank you.
Uh, doctor, I must tell you.
Anthony has found
the most wonderful girl.
Nothing serious, I hope.
What do you mean?
Well, uh, forgive me,
but in my opinion,
your son is not ready
for marriage.
Oh, I almost forgot.
I brought you some flowers
for your trip, Mrs. Nelson.
Oh, how thoughtful.
I, uh...
How delightful.
I hope they match your dress.
I always...
How wonderful.
Onions.
Onions?
Scallions.
Oh, how thoughtful.
I saw them put carnations
in the box.
I smelled the carnations.
Did you?
Yes.
Oh, uh, excuse me.
There's something
about this house.
I must be going.
It's happening again.
[♪]
More coffee, master?
Uh, no, thanks. No.
How long have you been
making coffee anyway?
Oh, about 2000 years.
Hm.
Nobody is perfect.
[CHUCKLES]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, there's the mailman.
Yeah, I...
I will get it.
Uh...
Here is one marked,
"Open carefully.
Personal. Very private."
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I wonder
who that could be from.
There's nothing in here.
It says, "Dear occupant,
"here is your lucky
do-or-die sweepstakes number.
You may already have won
a trip to sunny Spain."
Oh, would you like
to win, master?
No, I've already been
to sunny Spain.
Oh.
It rained.
Oh, here's a letter
from your mother.
No kidding, third one this week.
Poor thing,
she worries about you.
Yeah, I know.
It's getting to be
a hobby of hers.
"Dear Anthony,
I just heard on the radio
"they're having
a cold spell in Florida.
I hope you don't have
a drafty capsule."
[LAUGHING] Oh, that's sweet.
You must write her
and tell her that you are well.
Yeah, listen to this.
"I-I hope you don't have
a drafty cap...
"Why can't you be an astronaut
up here in Bridgeport
where you can eat
lunch at home?"
Oh, she misses you, master.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Listen to this.
"Under separate cover..."
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, um, "Under separate cover.
"I am sending vitamin pills,
uh, gelatin pills,
"and a few minerals
I had lying around the house.
"Your loving mother.
P.S. Bridgeport is lovely
this time of year."
Aw.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Would you mind, please?
Thanks.
Surprise!
[♪]
Mom.
[LAUGHING]
Well...
Well...
Well, what are you doing here?
Oh, I was just passing by.
I got lonely.
Oh, well. Well...
You're just passing by.
Well, Bridgeport is
a thousand miles from here, Mom.
Oh, do you think it's right
for a mother
to be separated from her son
by a thousand miles?
Let me look at you.
You look terrible.
That service haircut,
and you look so thin.
Well, I brought
everything for you.
Yeah?
Uh, organically grown food.
Herbs...
I-I thought you said
you were sending this
under a separate cover.
Separate cover
decided to deliver.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, I worry about you, Anthony.
But no more.
If the mountain
won't come to Mohammed,
then Mohammed comes
to the mountain.
That mountain's
gonna get crowded, Ma.
And I'm here.
Good.
To stay.
Wonderful.
Permanently.
Permanently.
P-permanently?
You know, Mohammed is kidding.
Mother, I really would love
to have you stay,
but I'm kind of short of room.
Oh, whenever did
a mother need room?
Oh, this place is a mess.
But as soon as I unpack,
I'll clean it up.
Oh, it's a lovely house,
Anthony.
But it certainly needs
a woman's touch.
Hm.
[CHUCKLES]
Looks as if it hadn't
been dusted for a year.
Yeah, well, Mother,
there's no reason
for you to bother with that.
Why don't you act like a guest?
Oh, whoever heard
of a mother as a guest?
Yes, well...
Oh-ho.
Dust, dust, dust.
You are a typical
bachelor, Anthony.
Sloppy.
I'll just unpack.
See the dust?
[WIND HOWLING]
Well, you certainly
have a cool ocean breeze.
I think it's the beginning
of Hurricane Jeannie.
You could
catch cold. Look.
Huh? Where?
Over there.
What is it?
Oh, that poor little plant,
it's dying.
Dying just like a dog.
Well, it's lucky
I got here on time.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
And no more hurricanes,
you understand?
Yes, master.
But there was no dust.
Shhh.
To a mother, there was dust.
Yes, master.
We have to make her
as comfortable as possible
while she's here.
MOTHER: Where do you
keep the vacuum cleaner?
I vacuumed it myself
this morning!
[WHISPERS]
Shh! Jeannie, please.
Uh, don't bother, Mother.
Look, all we have to do
is convince her
that I'm well cared for,
and she'll go home.
Ha. That is impossible.
Your house is too dirty,
your hair is too short,
you are too thin.
Yeah, look, she's my mother.
Let's just humor her
while she's here, hm? Okay?
Yes, master.
[LAUGHING]
I can't... I can't...
Oh, she would love that.
Would you please come
get me out of this quickly?
Oh, but you look so much better.
Get me out of this...
Come on. I mean it.
That's better.
That's much better.
Now, you.
Go, go on, get out.
Oh.
Please?
Anthony, I'm going to get us
a little lunch.
Oh.
Ah.
How can anyone live
just on ice cubes?
[LAUGHS]
Just lucky, I guess.
It's amazing
you haven't starved to death
without me to look after you.
No bread.
No fruit.
Sorry, Mom.
No vegetables.
Mom, I... I've already
set the table.
We can have lunch.
Oh!
You had it set in.
Yes.
[LAUGHING]
Well, it's cold.
A man should have a hot meal
in the middle of the day.
Mustard?
Thank you.
Oh, that'll be fine.
Mother, I wish you'd
let me take the couch
and you take my bed.
I wouldn't dream of it.
But I want you to be
comfortable.
A mother doesn't have
to be comfortable.
Well, then be uncomfortable
in my bed.
I'll be uncomfortable in the way
I want to be uncomfortable.
Okay, but you call me
if you change your mind, Mom.
Yes, dear. Good night.
Good night.
Now you get to bed.
An astronaut needs his sleep.
Okay, Mom.
Oh, my.
I shall sleep tight tonight.
[CREAKS]
[KNOCKS]
Anthony!
Anthony!
What is it?
What is it, Ma?
There is a door under my sheet.
A door?
Oh, you sweet boy.
You remembered
about your mother's bad back.
[CHUCKLES]
So thoughtful of you.
You remembered
that I always slept on a board.
How could I forget?
Oh, there aren't many sons
who would think of a door
for their mother's bed.
No, not many, Ma.
There.
Let me help you.
Now, I shall
sleep tight tonight.
Nothing's going to wake me now.
Good. Oh, here.
[GROANS]
Ah. Thank you, dear.
Good night.
Good night.
[PLAYS "REVEILLE"]
[PANTING]
[CRASHING]
[JEANNIE SHRIEKS]
Ma? Mom?
Ma?
Oh, Anthony?
What is it, dear?
Do you want something to eat?
No.
What was that racket?
I was dreaming.
What a dream I had.
We were in Bridgeport,
right in the main street.
And they were
giving you a parade.
Oh, it was beautiful.
Ticker tape, trumpets,
drums, cymbals.
Boom!
I thought I heard a...
A cannon.
Imagine, a parade for my son.
Anthony the Astronaut.
Tony the Tired.
Oh, dear, why, of course you are
after all that excitement.
Now, you go right back to sleep.
Okay. Good night, Ma.
Sweet dreams.
Good night.
Sleep tight.
Yeah.
Why aren't you married?
What?
I-I brought some things, um,
for you to see.
Do you remember Daphne?
Daphne?
Yes.
She was the athletic one.
Oh, you used to canter off
into the woods together.
Do you remember?
Well, not at 3:00
in the morning I don't, Mom.
Or perhaps it's Eleanor
you remember.
Eleanor.
With the adorable freckles.
Freckles.
Don't you remember her?
Yes, she always wanted
to be a nurse.
Oh, what a beauty.
Mom, I really gotta
get some sleep, come on.
I'll bet it's Eleanor
you remember.
We'll talk about it
in the morning.
Good night.
How many times have I told you
not to come in here
without knocking?
[DOOR KNOCKS]
What is it?
Oh.
Uh, nothing.
Good night, darling.
W-what's the matter
with you?
I have a mother-in-law
problem.
You can't have
a mother-in-law problem.
We're not married.
I gotta get some sleep.
How long is she going to stay?
I don't know.
I think she's moved in.
Well, I do not think
there's room enough
for all of us here.
Let me worry about this.
You got plenty of room
in your bottle.
Just go pop in.
I gotta get some sleep.
I'm exhausted.
Very well.
What the...?
[SCREAMS]
Doctor, it's so nice of you
to drop in to see me.
Not all, Mrs. Nelson,
I've been looking forward
to meeting Tony's mother.
Oh, thank you.
I've been so worried about Tony.
So have I.
And frankly, I'm relieved
that you're here.
Are you?
I've known your son
for some time now
and I feel that he could use
a sort of sober helping hand.
You mean a mother's hand?
Yes. And you're so
beautifully normal.
[GIGGLES]
Yes, I'm just as normal
as Anthony is.
Oh, he's such a darling.
Do you know, last night
he had me sleeping on a door?
He had you sleep on a door?
He is so thoughtful.
Oh, of course,
he's just an average son.
I'm just an average mother.
I'd like to be
an average grandmother.
Oh, I'm sure
that will come in time.
He needs some nice girl
who would look
after him properly.
He can't go on living
in this dust bowl.
[COUGHING]
I think...
it's getting
a little misty in here.
Perhaps if I...
If I close the windows?
Oh, uh, they're closed.
Would you have
an apricot cookie?
Oh, yes, thank you.
I, uh... I can't see them.
I made them myself this morning.
Where are they?
You know, if it wasn't for me
Anthony would never have
a home-cooked meal.
The last time I was
in a fog like this
was at sea on the Atlantic.
Oh, really?
Did you have a nice crossing?
We were afraid
of hitting an iceberg.
We never have fogs
like this in Bridgeport.
I've never heard of a fog
inside a house.
Neither have I.
Isn't it splendid?
Splendid? You don't mind it?
Oh, not at all.
Don't you know?
It's marvelous
for the complexion.
Yes, well,
I think I'll be running along.
So soon?
Well, yes, I'm afraid so.
Let me get you a hot cup of tea.
You know, I wanted
to discuss Anthony with you.
[FOGHORN SOUND]
Oh, what was that?
Sounded like a foghorn.
In the living room?
[BLOWING]
Oh, doctor.
You backed into the teapot.
Oh, excuse me, I, uh...
Perhaps you could, uh, steer me
in the right direction.
Oh, certainly.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, here we are.
I do hope you'll come again
on a clear day.
Yes, another time, yes,
when I've consulted
my barometer first.
Oh. Oh.
Ooh!
Whoa!
Oh, I'm sorry
you don't like fog.
Well...
Oh!
Well, I've never been crazy
about it.
Oh, uh, excuse me,
I had a hat, Mrs. Nelson.
I'll get it.
Yeah, right over there.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I don't understand.
It's sunny.
There's no fog out there.
Now, now, doctor.
It's best not to get emotional
about the weather.
Yes.
Good day.
Good day.
Psychiatrists.
Always something
a little peculiar.
Oh, hi, Ma. Smells great.
I'm cooking all
of your favorite dishes.
Just as I did
when you were a little boy.
Oh, well, I don't want you
to go to all this trouble.
I'll take you out for dinner.
Out?
Oh, you don't like
my fried chicken.
And apple dumplings.
Oh, no...
With plenty of sugar and spice.
I love it, I do.
It's just that...
Oh!
You'd like to get
out of the house?
Yeah, I sure would, yeah.
All right.
We'll take it with us.
Take it where?
To the beach.
We'll have a picnic.
Okay, sure,
just the two of us, huh?
That's a wonderful idea.
I can't go out of the house
with my hair like this.
Well, it looks fine.
It's a mess.
No.
Give me a mirror.
Well, Mom, I can't get you...
Oh, here.
Why, it looks as if I have
sequins over my eyebrows.
Yes, well, that's
the atmospheric conditions
combined with the kreptactic
light sequentials.
Kreptactic light sequentials.
Isn't science wonderful?
It's nice.
Yeah, it looks fine.
You know, Anthony?
There's something about
the Cocoa Beach climate
that is amazing.
Yeah, it's enough
to curl your hair.
[GIGGLING]
[LAUGHING]
More chicken, Anthony?
Oh, Mom, I couldn't.
Oh, you've scarcely
eaten anything.
[LAUGHS]
Four pieces of chicken,
a half pound of potato salad
and three apple dumplings?
It's getting a little chilly.
Why don't you put on
your jacket, dear?
No, I'm not cold, Ma.
Oh, you need some nice girl
to look after you.
Some nice, old-fashioned girl.
Oh, I had the most
marvelous dream last night.
I dreamt that you met
the perfect girl.
She was blond and beautiful.
She could cook,
she could sew and bright.
She wore thick glasses.
You could see
that she was fond of children.
And what a sense of humor.
Well, Ma, you can't
take dreams too seriously.
[GASPS]
There she is.
That's the girl.
Isn't she lovely?
Yeah.
Cooks, sews and is intelligent.
I beg your pardon, miss.
But would you tell me
where you are from?
Bridgeport.
Bridgeport.
Anthony, did you hear that?
May I see your left hand?
You aren't married.
Tell me you aren't married.
I can tell you,
she's not married.
Oh, my.
Do I have an astronaut for you.
[GIGGLES]
Are you sure
you don't wanna stay
for just a few more days, Ma?
Oh, now that you
have met Jeannie,
I feel that I can
leave you alone.
She'll take
very good care of you.
Oh, I will take
very good care of him.
Well, I don't see why you have
to just rush off, you know.
Oh, I was going
to keep it for a secret.
But this morning, I received
a special delivery letter
from Bridgeport.
I won the do-or-die
sweepstakes.
[CHUCKLES] Oh.
BOTH:
A free trip to sunny Spain.
Yeah.
Isn't that exciting?
[LAUGHING] Yeah.
I've never been to Spain.
I just can't wait.
It's gonna be wonderful
for you, Mother.
BELLOWS:
Major Nelson.
Ah-ah! Not here.
Oh, well, I will go upstairs
and see if you
left anything there.
Yeah, I'll go with you.
Oh, Major Nelson.
Come in, doctor.
Ah.
Oh, well,
hello, Mrs. Nelson.
Forgive me
for barging in like this,
but I, uh...
I heard you were leaving,
and I just want
another chance to exam...
I mean, to wish you bon voyage.
Oh, how kind of you,
doctor. Thank you.
Uh, doctor, I must tell you.
Anthony has found
the most wonderful girl.
Nothing serious, I hope.
What do you mean?
Well, uh, forgive me,
but in my opinion,
your son is not ready
for marriage.
Oh, I almost forgot.
I brought you some flowers
for your trip, Mrs. Nelson.
Oh, how thoughtful.
I, uh...
How delightful.
I hope they match your dress.
I always...
How wonderful.
Onions.
Onions?
Scallions.
Oh, how thoughtful.
I saw them put carnations
in the box.
I smelled the carnations.
Did you?
Yes.
Oh, uh, excuse me.
There's something
about this house.
I must be going.
It's happening again.
[♪]