I Dream of Jeannie (1965–1970): Season 3, Episode 21 - My Master, the Ghostbreaker - full transcript
Tony inherits a haunted English mansion.
[♪]
Look here. I got a...
I got a bill for 300 pounds
for my estate in England.
England?
Yeah.
That sounds reasonable.
What estate is that?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
You do not have
an estate in England.
I'll get it.
I don't know what the...
Yeah?
[ENGLISH ACCENT]
Uh, uh, excuse me.
Uh, I-I'm looking
for Major Anthony Nelson.
I'm Major Nelson.
Uh, uh, well, I'm James Ashley.
I'm with the law firm
of, uh, Ashley & Ashley.
Oh, yeah. Well, I just got
a letter from your firm.
Uh, come on in.
Hey, Jeannie?
Uh, this is Miss Jeannie.
Hello.
And, uh, uh, Major Healey.
How do you do?
Uh, I-I have some
interesting news for you.
You see, we represented
your late Great Uncle Andrew
in England.
Oh, I did not know you had
a late Great Uncle Andrew.
Oh, yeah, I met him
when I was about 3 years old.
I don't even remember him.
Ah, well, he remembered you.
He left you his entire estate
in England.
Oh, master!
Yeah.
[♪]
[♪]
[DOORBELL RINGING]
Now, uh, this is the main house.
There are several
other buildings on the estate.
Oh, I'd sure like to have
the butler concession here.
Would you love to have
this in Cocoa Beach?
No, no, that's...
That's fine.
[DOOR CREAKING]
Good evening, Mr. Ashley.
Ah, good evening, Smedley.
This is your new master,
Major Nelson.
And this is Major Healey,
and, of course, Miss Jeannie.
Welcome.
Here, I'll...
I'll take that. Allow me.
Oh, please don't bother.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The electricity's out,
but not to worry.
ASHLEY:
This way, please.
ROGER: Quite a place. Must be
the housekeeper's day off.
Nonsense. This house has stood
nearly 300 years.
And it should stand
for 300 more.
Hey, that must be my Great Uncle
Andrew over there, huh?
Well, it certainly
has a lot of atmosphere.
Oh, when it is fixed up,
it will be beautiful.
Just like a home in the movies.
Yeah.
Yeah, only Frankenstein
used to live there.
Ah, the major suddenly
has a marvelous sense of humor.
No, I'm serious,
this place seems haunted.
Nonsense. Surely you don't
believe in ghosts.
Oh, I do.
No, no, of course not.
Yes, I do.
No, you don't.
Look at this stuff.
Isn't this beautiful?
All these antiques,
they're all mine.
Look at this, Jeannie.
Isn't that sensational?
I'll bet you this thing's
200 years old, huh?
It's all mine.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, I-I'm so sorry, major.
I-I shall have that
reupholstered in the morning.
Yeah. Yeah.
Thanks a lot.
I-I'm... I'm sure you'll spend
a very happy life here, major.
Well, you... You could use it
as a summer place.
Yes, sure, and when we weren't
here, I could rent it.
Ah, that's an excellent idea.
I think I know
how Uncle Andrew got killed.
Just what do you mean by that?
Nothing, nothing.
Uh, H-how did
Uncle Andrew die?
Oh, he died in his sleep.
In bed?
In bed?
In bed.
Your beds are ready.
Smedley has prepared
the upstairs bedrooms.
I'm sure you all must be
very exhausted.
Yes, yes, we are kind of tired.
Well, I'll be running along
to London now.
If you want anything, just ring,
and Smedley will be
at your complete disposal.
I'll be back in the morning
with the proper papers
for you to sign.
And then the house
will be officially yours.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm sure you'll sleep well.
There's nothing like
the fresh country air
for a good night's sleep.
Good night.
Good night.
Thanks, again.
Yes, bye, sir.
Happy dreams.
The beds...
are this way.
I...think I will sleep
in my bottle.
Yeah. I'm a little tired too.
I'm gonna hit the sack, yeah.
Yeah, well,
let's hit the sack together.
Good night, master.
Good night, Jeannie.
Good night, Major Healey.
Good night, Jeannie.
Good night. Night.
JEANNIE:
Good night, master.
Good night.
Good night.
You first.
[FLOOR CREAKS]
[♪]
I guess this is my room.
Sure gets dark in England,
doesn't it?
Yeah. I'll see you
in the morning.
Good night.
Good night.
Tony?
Huh?
Oh, thank you.
Good night.
Good night.
[WHISTLING]
Hey, beautiful.
[WIND WHISTLING]
Tony? T-Tony.
Oh, yo, Tony. Tony?
Tony?
Hey, Roge?
What's the matter?
Hey, look at
the wonderful clothes
I found here in the closet.
They're full of this old stuff.
Anything wrong?
Anything wrong?
Oh, no, nothing's wrong.
I just came in
to see how you were. Heh.
My candle went out.
How's your room?
Oh, it's a little windy.
Yeah, uh, close your window.
It is closed.
Well, you know
how these old houses are.
Yeah, windy.
Yeah.
How about this bed?
I'll bet you it's 300 years old.
Yeah, George slept there.
George?
King George III.
[CHUCKLING] Yeah.
Well, I guess I better
be getting back
to the old wind...
Wind tunnel.
Yeah.
Well, uh, have a nice sleep.
Yeah, you bet.
Yeah, well, good night.
Night.
R-rest... Rest well.
I will.
Good night.
Good night.
[THUNDER CRASHING]
[♪]
[THUNDER CRASHING]
[FOOTSTEPS, CHAINS RATTLING]
Who's there?
Is that you, Tony?
I don't like practical jokes.
In the middle of the night.
In an old English house.
[WIND HOWLING]
[MAN SHOUTS]
[MAN 2 LAUGHING]
All right.
All right, who is it?
[SHOUTS]
[SHOUTS, GLASS BREAKS]
[CREAKING]
Tony?
Tony! Ahh!
Tony, Tony, Tony!
Roger! Ahh!
Roger. Roger.
Where are you?
Ah!
Are you all right?
Heh? Oh! Oh-oh, boy.
Listen, I don't wanna knock
your 300-year-old house,
but I think this place
is haunted.
Yeah, yeah.
And I know who's haunting it.
Your Great Uncle Andrew?
No.
Your Great Aunt Andrew.
Jeannie.
Jeannie?
Yeah.
The bed, the chair. Door...
Sure, she's trying to scare us.
That's what it is.
She...?
[BOTH LAUGH]
Yeah, of course she is.
Let's go down and tell her
she's not succeeding.
[THUNDER CRASHES]
Uh, Jeannie, would you come out?
I'd like to, uh,
talk to you, please.
Jeannie?
Oh! Coming, master.
[YAWNS]
[YAWNING] Yes, master.
Jeannie, what do you
think you're doing?
Is anything wrong?
Is anything wrong?
How do you expect us to sleep
with you carrying on like that?
Carrying on like what?
Carrying on... I almost killed
myself falling out of bed.
And breaking that mirror,
Jeannie.
That was probably an antique.
All the furniture
in here is antiques.
It can't be replaced
not even for just for a joke.
But what mirror, what bed?
Don't pretend you weren't
upstairs a minute ago.
I have been asleep.
[MAN SHRIEKS]
Oh!
[♪]
I've never been haunted before.
I don't think I like it.
Ah, there must be some logical
explanation for what happened.
What do you think, Jeannie?
I think I would like to go home.
Come on, you don't believe
in ghosts.
Well, of course
I believe in ghosts.
Do you not believe in genies?
See. If ghosts
are good enough for Jeannie,
they're good enough for me.
Now let's go.
Roger, what kind of a coward
are you?
I don't know,
what kind of cowards are there?
[DOORBELL RINGS] I'll get that.
No, no, let Smedley get it.
That's his job.
Yeah.
[DOORBELL RINGING]
Smedley.
Smedley.
Yes?
TONY:
Hey, wait a minute, wait.
Great Scott.
What on earth is going on here?
I beg your pardon.
You should.
What have you done
to this house?
What do you mean
what have I done to the house?
The place is an absolute wreck.
It was in perfect condition
last week.
Well, it couldn't have been.
Look at these cobwebs.
They must have been here
for years.
Who are you?
Never mind, never mind.
I'm Major Anthony Nelson.
The owner of the house.
Now, who are you?
I am Sir Widgin Willingham.
I am the owner of this house.
Oh! But you cannot both
own the house, sir.
Well, of course
we can't both own it.
I own it, it says so right here.
Oh, it does say so.
That is his name.
Hey, who'd you buy
this house from?
Edward Ashley.
Oh, well, I-I think there must
be some misunderstanding.
Yeah, that's right.
It's called grand larceny.
I don't know
what you're trying to pull,
but you have 24 hours
to get out of this house.
Ah! Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
If you're still here
when I return tomorrow,
I'll put you into the hands
of the police.
Hey, look.
Look at this thing.
Absolutely fell apart.
I'm going upstairs and pack.
No, we're staying here.
Look, let him have the house.
It's haunted.
He is right, master.
I can be packed in a blink.
Don't you see what's happening?
No, but I felt it when I fell
out of bed last night.
Roger, that was Edward Ashley.
Did I hear my name?
Oh, Mr. Ashley, yes, we were
just speaking of you, sir.
And how is the squire today?
Squeamish.
A squeamish squire.
Very good, very good.
[LAUGHING] Good one.
Roger, Jeannie...
Few things you haven't told us
about this house, sir.
Well, I don't know
what you mean.
What he means, sir,
this place is haunted.
Haunted? Nonsense.
Who told you that?
Oh, no one had to tell us.
Look.
Ahhh.
Algernon.
Algernon?
Algernon. Oh. Surely you don't
believe in ghosts.
I do.
Well, surely now you'll be
wanting to go back to America.
But there's no worry.
I'm quite prepared to take over
the sale of the house,
and I have the papers
right here.
Thank you very much.
I've decided to stay.
Stay? You...
Y-you mean, you're...
You're going to stay here?
Oh, I hope
that is not what he means.
That's exactly what I mean, Jeannie.
Must we?
Yes, we must.
Major, that's the bravest thing
I've ever heard.
But I can't possibly let you
make this sacrifice.
What happened last night
was nothing.
When Algernon
really gets angry...
blah!
Grrr! Aah!
Yaah!
Ahhh-ah-ah!
Oh, I dread
to even think about it.
Thank you very much,
but I'm staying.
Of course you're staying!
Surely you must stay.
It's your house.
It's your ghost.
Enjoy it while you can.
Thanks.
Well, I'm driving to London.
Anyone need a lift?
I think I will
go visit my mother.
There will not
nobody be going nowhere.
The bridge is washed away.
You'll all have
to stay the night.
All six of us.
[♪]
[MAN WAILING]
Ah!
I don't like it.
Supposing they catch on?
Shh! They're not going
to catch on.
We almost had them last night.
The other two are ready
to quit already.
Now, that Major Nelson's got
a very stubborn look about him.
Shh! I'll take care of him.
Tonight, we give him
the full treatment.
Now, have we got everything?
Flashlight,
chains, bed sheets...
All right,
have we got everything?
Flashlights, chains,
bed sheet, right?
Yeah, what good is it gonna do?
I mean, how are you
gonna scare a ghost?
It's not a ghost, Roger.
They're trying to scare us
outta the house.
I got news for you.
I think they already have.
Just follow instructions.
[MAN SHRIEKS]
Relax.
Yeah.
[MAN HOWLING]
Ah.
How do I look?
Huh? Hey!
By gum, you look ghastly.
Yeah, marvelous.
Come on.
How do I look?
Terrible.
Good, gonna beat them
at their own game.
Yeah.
Come on.
Thanks.
Shh!
Stay behind me.
Don't worry, I will.
Oh!
Shh!
Shh!
Shh!
You go that way,
I'll go this way.
Yeah, yeah.
Ahh!
Come on, Roge.
Oh! Tony.
Shh! Move away.
Just give me the balloon.
Yeah, but wait a minute.
Roger, be quiet.
That room is good.
Shh!
Smedley?
He's gone.
Wait, he's not there.
C-come on.
We'll find him.
Oh.
Come on, come on.
[CREAKING]
What kind of a balloon
did you give me anyway?
Don't kill me.
I'm an American tourist.
Stop that, it's me.
Me who?
Me Tony.
Who? Tony. Tony, Tony.
Oh! Am I glad to see you.
What's the matter with you?
Look at you.
What's the matter with me?
I fell through a trap door
and I got stuck on those walls.
[MAN SHRIEKS]
See?
This has gotta be scaring
Jeannie to death.
You go check on her.
No, I can't.
Can't I stay with you?
Roger.
Yeah, yeah.
Here, this way.
Wait. Okay, if you say so.
That way.
[THUNDER CRASHES]
[SCREAMING]
Master?
[BOTH SCREAM]
[SHRIEKING]
Ah!
[MAN SHRIEKS]
Ah!
Major Nelson.
Ashley.
Well... Well... Well,
who is in that sheet?
Well, if you don't know, it must
be an old friend of mine.
Oh, you've got some
pretty funny friends.
I've got some
pretty funny lawyers.
What do you mean by that?
I'll tell you
what I mean by that.
I've got a couple lawyers
in the States
who could make mincemeat
out of you.
Well, you...
There's this thing called fraud.
I don't know what lawyers
you got in this country,
but we got
a couple of lawyers...
Are you still here?
Ashley!
What's going on here?
I've been doing
a little ghost breaking.
Ghost breaking?
Oh, I see through
your little scheme.
You're trying to get me to sell
you my house, aren't you?
Well, let me tell you,
young man,
that nothing would induce me
to part with this house.
Do I make myself clear?
Will you tell him or shall I?
Uh... You see, sir,
there seems to be
a little bit
of a misunderstanding.
A little misunderstanding?
He tried to sell you my house.
It's not your house,
it's my house.
It certainly is my house!
The whole house is my hou...
[DOOR CREAKING]
This house is haunted.
Send me back my down payment.
It's your house.
It's your house.
Willingham, wait for me.
[TONY LAUGHING]
Oh, master.
Oh, thank heaven, you're safe.
Jeannie, you were marvelous.
Did you see him run outta here?
You were sensational.
I was?
Yeah.
Yeah, it almost fooled me.
What almost fooled you?
That invisible ghost thing.
Look at that.
Okay, all right,
you can stop it now.
Stop what?
The thing you're doing there.
JEANNIE:
Oh, I am not doing anything.
Oh, master.
That was the be... Mas...
I wanna go home!
Help! Help!
[SHRIEKING]
[♪]
Look here. I got a...
I got a bill for 300 pounds
for my estate in England.
England?
Yeah.
That sounds reasonable.
What estate is that?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
You do not have
an estate in England.
I'll get it.
I don't know what the...
Yeah?
[ENGLISH ACCENT]
Uh, uh, excuse me.
Uh, I-I'm looking
for Major Anthony Nelson.
I'm Major Nelson.
Uh, uh, well, I'm James Ashley.
I'm with the law firm
of, uh, Ashley & Ashley.
Oh, yeah. Well, I just got
a letter from your firm.
Uh, come on in.
Hey, Jeannie?
Uh, this is Miss Jeannie.
Hello.
And, uh, uh, Major Healey.
How do you do?
Uh, I-I have some
interesting news for you.
You see, we represented
your late Great Uncle Andrew
in England.
Oh, I did not know you had
a late Great Uncle Andrew.
Oh, yeah, I met him
when I was about 3 years old.
I don't even remember him.
Ah, well, he remembered you.
He left you his entire estate
in England.
Oh, master!
Yeah.
[♪]
[♪]
[DOORBELL RINGING]
Now, uh, this is the main house.
There are several
other buildings on the estate.
Oh, I'd sure like to have
the butler concession here.
Would you love to have
this in Cocoa Beach?
No, no, that's...
That's fine.
[DOOR CREAKING]
Good evening, Mr. Ashley.
Ah, good evening, Smedley.
This is your new master,
Major Nelson.
And this is Major Healey,
and, of course, Miss Jeannie.
Welcome.
Here, I'll...
I'll take that. Allow me.
Oh, please don't bother.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The electricity's out,
but not to worry.
ASHLEY:
This way, please.
ROGER: Quite a place. Must be
the housekeeper's day off.
Nonsense. This house has stood
nearly 300 years.
And it should stand
for 300 more.
Hey, that must be my Great Uncle
Andrew over there, huh?
Well, it certainly
has a lot of atmosphere.
Oh, when it is fixed up,
it will be beautiful.
Just like a home in the movies.
Yeah.
Yeah, only Frankenstein
used to live there.
Ah, the major suddenly
has a marvelous sense of humor.
No, I'm serious,
this place seems haunted.
Nonsense. Surely you don't
believe in ghosts.
Oh, I do.
No, no, of course not.
Yes, I do.
No, you don't.
Look at this stuff.
Isn't this beautiful?
All these antiques,
they're all mine.
Look at this, Jeannie.
Isn't that sensational?
I'll bet you this thing's
200 years old, huh?
It's all mine.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, I-I'm so sorry, major.
I-I shall have that
reupholstered in the morning.
Yeah. Yeah.
Thanks a lot.
I-I'm... I'm sure you'll spend
a very happy life here, major.
Well, you... You could use it
as a summer place.
Yes, sure, and when we weren't
here, I could rent it.
Ah, that's an excellent idea.
I think I know
how Uncle Andrew got killed.
Just what do you mean by that?
Nothing, nothing.
Uh, H-how did
Uncle Andrew die?
Oh, he died in his sleep.
In bed?
In bed?
In bed.
Your beds are ready.
Smedley has prepared
the upstairs bedrooms.
I'm sure you all must be
very exhausted.
Yes, yes, we are kind of tired.
Well, I'll be running along
to London now.
If you want anything, just ring,
and Smedley will be
at your complete disposal.
I'll be back in the morning
with the proper papers
for you to sign.
And then the house
will be officially yours.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm sure you'll sleep well.
There's nothing like
the fresh country air
for a good night's sleep.
Good night.
Good night.
Thanks, again.
Yes, bye, sir.
Happy dreams.
The beds...
are this way.
I...think I will sleep
in my bottle.
Yeah. I'm a little tired too.
I'm gonna hit the sack, yeah.
Yeah, well,
let's hit the sack together.
Good night, master.
Good night, Jeannie.
Good night, Major Healey.
Good night, Jeannie.
Good night. Night.
JEANNIE:
Good night, master.
Good night.
Good night.
You first.
[FLOOR CREAKS]
[♪]
I guess this is my room.
Sure gets dark in England,
doesn't it?
Yeah. I'll see you
in the morning.
Good night.
Good night.
Tony?
Huh?
Oh, thank you.
Good night.
Good night.
[WHISTLING]
Hey, beautiful.
[WIND WHISTLING]
Tony? T-Tony.
Oh, yo, Tony. Tony?
Tony?
Hey, Roge?
What's the matter?
Hey, look at
the wonderful clothes
I found here in the closet.
They're full of this old stuff.
Anything wrong?
Anything wrong?
Oh, no, nothing's wrong.
I just came in
to see how you were. Heh.
My candle went out.
How's your room?
Oh, it's a little windy.
Yeah, uh, close your window.
It is closed.
Well, you know
how these old houses are.
Yeah, windy.
Yeah.
How about this bed?
I'll bet you it's 300 years old.
Yeah, George slept there.
George?
King George III.
[CHUCKLING] Yeah.
Well, I guess I better
be getting back
to the old wind...
Wind tunnel.
Yeah.
Well, uh, have a nice sleep.
Yeah, you bet.
Yeah, well, good night.
Night.
R-rest... Rest well.
I will.
Good night.
Good night.
[THUNDER CRASHING]
[♪]
[THUNDER CRASHING]
[FOOTSTEPS, CHAINS RATTLING]
Who's there?
Is that you, Tony?
I don't like practical jokes.
In the middle of the night.
In an old English house.
[WIND HOWLING]
[MAN SHOUTS]
[MAN 2 LAUGHING]
All right.
All right, who is it?
[SHOUTS]
[SHOUTS, GLASS BREAKS]
[CREAKING]
Tony?
Tony! Ahh!
Tony, Tony, Tony!
Roger! Ahh!
Roger. Roger.
Where are you?
Ah!
Are you all right?
Heh? Oh! Oh-oh, boy.
Listen, I don't wanna knock
your 300-year-old house,
but I think this place
is haunted.
Yeah, yeah.
And I know who's haunting it.
Your Great Uncle Andrew?
No.
Your Great Aunt Andrew.
Jeannie.
Jeannie?
Yeah.
The bed, the chair. Door...
Sure, she's trying to scare us.
That's what it is.
She...?
[BOTH LAUGH]
Yeah, of course she is.
Let's go down and tell her
she's not succeeding.
[THUNDER CRASHES]
Uh, Jeannie, would you come out?
I'd like to, uh,
talk to you, please.
Jeannie?
Oh! Coming, master.
[YAWNS]
[YAWNING] Yes, master.
Jeannie, what do you
think you're doing?
Is anything wrong?
Is anything wrong?
How do you expect us to sleep
with you carrying on like that?
Carrying on like what?
Carrying on... I almost killed
myself falling out of bed.
And breaking that mirror,
Jeannie.
That was probably an antique.
All the furniture
in here is antiques.
It can't be replaced
not even for just for a joke.
But what mirror, what bed?
Don't pretend you weren't
upstairs a minute ago.
I have been asleep.
[MAN SHRIEKS]
Oh!
[♪]
I've never been haunted before.
I don't think I like it.
Ah, there must be some logical
explanation for what happened.
What do you think, Jeannie?
I think I would like to go home.
Come on, you don't believe
in ghosts.
Well, of course
I believe in ghosts.
Do you not believe in genies?
See. If ghosts
are good enough for Jeannie,
they're good enough for me.
Now let's go.
Roger, what kind of a coward
are you?
I don't know,
what kind of cowards are there?
[DOORBELL RINGS] I'll get that.
No, no, let Smedley get it.
That's his job.
Yeah.
[DOORBELL RINGING]
Smedley.
Smedley.
Yes?
TONY:
Hey, wait a minute, wait.
Great Scott.
What on earth is going on here?
I beg your pardon.
You should.
What have you done
to this house?
What do you mean
what have I done to the house?
The place is an absolute wreck.
It was in perfect condition
last week.
Well, it couldn't have been.
Look at these cobwebs.
They must have been here
for years.
Who are you?
Never mind, never mind.
I'm Major Anthony Nelson.
The owner of the house.
Now, who are you?
I am Sir Widgin Willingham.
I am the owner of this house.
Oh! But you cannot both
own the house, sir.
Well, of course
we can't both own it.
I own it, it says so right here.
Oh, it does say so.
That is his name.
Hey, who'd you buy
this house from?
Edward Ashley.
Oh, well, I-I think there must
be some misunderstanding.
Yeah, that's right.
It's called grand larceny.
I don't know
what you're trying to pull,
but you have 24 hours
to get out of this house.
Ah! Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
If you're still here
when I return tomorrow,
I'll put you into the hands
of the police.
Hey, look.
Look at this thing.
Absolutely fell apart.
I'm going upstairs and pack.
No, we're staying here.
Look, let him have the house.
It's haunted.
He is right, master.
I can be packed in a blink.
Don't you see what's happening?
No, but I felt it when I fell
out of bed last night.
Roger, that was Edward Ashley.
Did I hear my name?
Oh, Mr. Ashley, yes, we were
just speaking of you, sir.
And how is the squire today?
Squeamish.
A squeamish squire.
Very good, very good.
[LAUGHING] Good one.
Roger, Jeannie...
Few things you haven't told us
about this house, sir.
Well, I don't know
what you mean.
What he means, sir,
this place is haunted.
Haunted? Nonsense.
Who told you that?
Oh, no one had to tell us.
Look.
Ahhh.
Algernon.
Algernon?
Algernon. Oh. Surely you don't
believe in ghosts.
I do.
Well, surely now you'll be
wanting to go back to America.
But there's no worry.
I'm quite prepared to take over
the sale of the house,
and I have the papers
right here.
Thank you very much.
I've decided to stay.
Stay? You...
Y-you mean, you're...
You're going to stay here?
Oh, I hope
that is not what he means.
That's exactly what I mean, Jeannie.
Must we?
Yes, we must.
Major, that's the bravest thing
I've ever heard.
But I can't possibly let you
make this sacrifice.
What happened last night
was nothing.
When Algernon
really gets angry...
blah!
Grrr! Aah!
Yaah!
Ahhh-ah-ah!
Oh, I dread
to even think about it.
Thank you very much,
but I'm staying.
Of course you're staying!
Surely you must stay.
It's your house.
It's your ghost.
Enjoy it while you can.
Thanks.
Well, I'm driving to London.
Anyone need a lift?
I think I will
go visit my mother.
There will not
nobody be going nowhere.
The bridge is washed away.
You'll all have
to stay the night.
All six of us.
[♪]
[MAN WAILING]
Ah!
I don't like it.
Supposing they catch on?
Shh! They're not going
to catch on.
We almost had them last night.
The other two are ready
to quit already.
Now, that Major Nelson's got
a very stubborn look about him.
Shh! I'll take care of him.
Tonight, we give him
the full treatment.
Now, have we got everything?
Flashlight,
chains, bed sheets...
All right,
have we got everything?
Flashlights, chains,
bed sheet, right?
Yeah, what good is it gonna do?
I mean, how are you
gonna scare a ghost?
It's not a ghost, Roger.
They're trying to scare us
outta the house.
I got news for you.
I think they already have.
Just follow instructions.
[MAN SHRIEKS]
Relax.
Yeah.
[MAN HOWLING]
Ah.
How do I look?
Huh? Hey!
By gum, you look ghastly.
Yeah, marvelous.
Come on.
How do I look?
Terrible.
Good, gonna beat them
at their own game.
Yeah.
Come on.
Thanks.
Shh!
Stay behind me.
Don't worry, I will.
Oh!
Shh!
Shh!
Shh!
You go that way,
I'll go this way.
Yeah, yeah.
Ahh!
Come on, Roge.
Oh! Tony.
Shh! Move away.
Just give me the balloon.
Yeah, but wait a minute.
Roger, be quiet.
That room is good.
Shh!
Smedley?
He's gone.
Wait, he's not there.
C-come on.
We'll find him.
Oh.
Come on, come on.
[CREAKING]
What kind of a balloon
did you give me anyway?
Don't kill me.
I'm an American tourist.
Stop that, it's me.
Me who?
Me Tony.
Who? Tony. Tony, Tony.
Oh! Am I glad to see you.
What's the matter with you?
Look at you.
What's the matter with me?
I fell through a trap door
and I got stuck on those walls.
[MAN SHRIEKS]
See?
This has gotta be scaring
Jeannie to death.
You go check on her.
No, I can't.
Can't I stay with you?
Roger.
Yeah, yeah.
Here, this way.
Wait. Okay, if you say so.
That way.
[THUNDER CRASHES]
[SCREAMING]
Master?
[BOTH SCREAM]
[SHRIEKING]
Ah!
[MAN SHRIEKS]
Ah!
Major Nelson.
Ashley.
Well... Well... Well,
who is in that sheet?
Well, if you don't know, it must
be an old friend of mine.
Oh, you've got some
pretty funny friends.
I've got some
pretty funny lawyers.
What do you mean by that?
I'll tell you
what I mean by that.
I've got a couple lawyers
in the States
who could make mincemeat
out of you.
Well, you...
There's this thing called fraud.
I don't know what lawyers
you got in this country,
but we got
a couple of lawyers...
Are you still here?
Ashley!
What's going on here?
I've been doing
a little ghost breaking.
Ghost breaking?
Oh, I see through
your little scheme.
You're trying to get me to sell
you my house, aren't you?
Well, let me tell you,
young man,
that nothing would induce me
to part with this house.
Do I make myself clear?
Will you tell him or shall I?
Uh... You see, sir,
there seems to be
a little bit
of a misunderstanding.
A little misunderstanding?
He tried to sell you my house.
It's not your house,
it's my house.
It certainly is my house!
The whole house is my hou...
[DOOR CREAKING]
This house is haunted.
Send me back my down payment.
It's your house.
It's your house.
Willingham, wait for me.
[TONY LAUGHING]
Oh, master.
Oh, thank heaven, you're safe.
Jeannie, you were marvelous.
Did you see him run outta here?
You were sensational.
I was?
Yeah.
Yeah, it almost fooled me.
What almost fooled you?
That invisible ghost thing.
Look at that.
Okay, all right,
you can stop it now.
Stop what?
The thing you're doing there.
JEANNIE:
Oh, I am not doing anything.
Oh, master.
That was the be... Mas...
I wanna go home!
Help! Help!
[SHRIEKING]
[♪]