I Dream of Jeannie (1965–1970): Season 3, Episode 10 - Here Comes Bootsie Nightingale - full transcript
How does one hide from Jeannie that fact that Tony has to escort a beautiful movie star?
[♪]
I'll wait for you outside, okay?
Okay.
[WHISTLING]
Good morning,
Mrs. Bellows.
Oh! Major Healey.
Oh! Mrs. Bellows.
For once Alfred was right.
He told me you were
here in the gymnasium.
Why don't we talk outside?
Women are not allowed
in the gym.
Oh, don't be so stuffy, major.
My husband's a doctor.
Now, where's Major Nelson?
Well, you can't see him
right now...
Of course, I can see him.
There he is.
Oh, Mrs. Bellows.
Mrs. Bellows?
Oh, Major Nelson.
Oh! Hello, Mrs. Bellows.
Hello, I've been
looking for you everywhere.
Now, boys, I must talk
to both of you immediately.
I've got some marvelous news
for you.
Oh, well, couldn't it
wait? I mean...
No, no, no, it can't wait.
Now listen,
I'm going to be chairman
for the benefit ball
at the hospital Saturday,
and the press is screaming
for the guest list.
I'm gonna need both
of you desperately.
Well, I'm afraid
we're pretty busy.
Yeah, we're kind of...
I'm going to have dozens
of beautiful unattached
females there.
BOTH:
What time Saturday night?
Ooh, I knew I could
count on both of you.
It's gonna be
the swankiest event
of the entire season.
And to top it off,
I have arranged
to have as our guest
the most glamorous movie star
in all of Hollywood.
A movie star?
Yes, Bootsie Nightingale!
Bootsie Nightingale.
Boys, I've so much to do.
I'll see you later.
Goodbye.
Bootsie Nightingale?
Here on the base?
I can't believe it.
What are you getting
so excited about?
What am I getting excited...?
Bootsie Nightingale?
Y-you mean
you're not excited?
Roger, she's just a girl.
Yeah.
Come on, let's go.
Tony.
Yeah?
[♪]
[♪]
[ROGER WHISTLES]
Bootsie Nightingale.
Boy, I've always been crazy
about her.
Yeah.
Sounds like Mrs. Bellows
cooked up
a swinging affair for a change.
Yeah, you may have a problem.
What do you mean?
Well, Jeannie.
You and all those
beautiful women?
She probably won't even
let you go.
Oh. Don't worry about Jeannie.
I'll take care of her.
How?
I'll lie.
[♪]
I have to go, Jeannie.
It's... It's business.
I really don't want to.
Well, if the benefit party
is not any fun, master,
why do they call it a ball?
It's just an expression.
People give these parties
to raise money,
and everybody goes
and has a terrible time.
Well, I do not want you
to have a terrible time.
Thanks.
So, I will go too.
Huh?
I'll take charge
of the entertainment.
I'll have elephants, jugglers,
clowns, lions and tigers...
And I'll have a full-fledged
general court-martial.
No, thank you very much.
It's very kind of you, Jeannie,
but I'll just have
to suffer for one night.
Oh, master, you are so brave.
Yeah, well...
sometimes we all have
to give a little extra.
[♪]
Bootsie, baby, please.
It's a benefit for a hospital
at the Space Center in Florida.
You're boring me, sweetie.
But every big shot
in the space program
will be there.
Don't you understand?
Think of your career.
I'm gonna have
a career in space?
The newspapers,
television, radio,
there'll be reporters
and photographers
all over the place.
And there you'll be, sweetheart,
looking beautiful and gorgeous
telling them
about your next picture, huh?
Now, you gotta do this.
Would I be the greatest manager
in the business
if I didn't know what
I was talking about,
now would I?
Kiss Herman.
Oh, I don't wanna kiss Herman.
Now, would you
listen to me, Bootsie?
I got a great idea
that's gonna get your picture
on the front page of every
newspaper in the country.
You will be
America's sweetheart.
Kiss Herman.
Ain't you even gonna ask me
what the great idea is?
Will you ask me already?
What's the great idea?
You know what you're gonna do
at the benefit ball
at the Space Center, huh?
You're gonna get yourself
engaged to a handsome astronaut.
Huh?
Oh!
Oh, we love it!
[BARKS]
[♪]
Have a good day, master.
Oh, I'm gonna have
a wonderful day, Jeannie.
Hi, Jeannie. Hi.
Hello, Major Healey.
Oh, no fireworks, huh?
Fireworks?
Of course not.
Then it's all right
about Saturday night?
Let's go, Roger.
Oh, you mean about the ball?
Of course.
I am going to stay home,
and Major Nelson will go.
Yeah, well, you sure have
the all-American know-how.
Yeah, let's go.
Bootsie Nightingale,
here we come.
Yeah. See you later.
What is a Bootsie Nightingale?
Oh, um, uh, tell her, Roge.
Oh, didn't you tell her
about Bootsie Nightingale?
TONY:
No.
Oh, Bootsie Nightingale
is an award.
It's an Oscar.
The movies have their Oscars,
and the, uh, TV
have their Emmys.
And the hospital benefits
have their Bootsie Nightingales.
Yeah, that... That's right.
Wh-what do you think of that?
Not much.
All right, Bootsie is a...
Roge, um...
Bootsie Nightingale
is a movie star.
And she's gonna be a guest
at the benefit ball.
Now you're in trouble.
TONY:
No, don't be silly.
Jeannie understands
about these things,
don't you, Jeannie?
Oh, yes.
That is why you are in trouble.
I will not let you go
to a party with a movie star.
Oh, I'm not going
with Bootsie Nightingale.
I may not even meet her.
There'll be
a hundred people there.
A hundred and one.
No, you're not going.
Oh, but why?
Well, because I have a... A lot
of the guests to take care of.
Yeah, and there's going to be
a lot of guests
that need taking care of.
And you will not be
with this Footsie Nightingale?
[CHUCKLES]
"Bootsie."
Bootsie Nightingale.
I'm afraid the old girl
will just
have to find herself
another escort.
She's old?
Uh, she used to play opposite
Rudolph Valentino.
Rudolph Valentino?
Aristophanes.
Oh.
She is old.
Well, I'll...
I'll see you later.
But I have never been
to a benefit ball!
JEANNIE:
Master.
I just remembered,
I have a perfect dress to wear.
It was designed by Cleopatra,
and Mark Antony loved it.
Oh, well, let him give
a party for you.
You're not coming to this one.
Now, where are you, Jeannie?
Is it because you would be
ashamed of me?
Ah, you know
that's not the reason.
You know that. Jeannie?
Jeannie?
[SIGHS]
Well, you know
how I feel about you.
I'd never be ashamed
to take you any place.
I bet you'd look beautiful
in Cleopatra's gown.
Maybe you can wear it
some other time.
Maybe she'll give...
If you're busy with Cleopatra,
I can come back.
No, sir.
I wasn't speaking...
I was just speaking
out loud actually.
Oh, yes.
Do you talk to Cleopatra
very often?
No. No, I wasn't speaking
to Cleopatra.
I was, let me explain...
You don't have
to explain, major.
Psychologically,
it's very healthy
to act out
your little fantasies.
Say hello for me, won't you?
I've always been
the great admirer of hers.
[JEANNIE LAUGHS]
Uh, what'd you say?
Nothing.
[JEANNIE LAUGHS]
Thanks, thanks very much.
Oh, thanks.
Now, colonel,
it's very important
that we get the right guy
to escort Bootsie.
Now, I need a fellow
with a lot of zing.
You know what I mean, colonel?
I-I-I want a fun astronaut.
Fun astronaut.
With a lot of pizzazz.
A lot of pizzazz.
And good-looking
and a little bit offbeat,
you know what I mean, colonel?
A-a-a... Colorful.
You got anybody here
this-that's got a lot of color?
I have just the man you're
looking for, Mr. Dawkin.
Oh, uh, sergeant.
Tell Major Nelson
I want to see him.
Colonel, are you ready for this?
That's Bootsie.
You can certainly see
she has talent.
Major Nelson, you're
escorting Miss Nightingale
to the benefit ball.
Oh, um...
well, I think you'd better
get somebody else, sir.
Oh, he's really colorful.
What's the matter with you?
You've got something
against beautiful women?
Oh, no.
It's just that I don't think
I deserve what's
gonna happen to me.
He's modest.
It's all settled, major.
Um, sir, I'd really appreciate
it if you would reconsider.
No, Major Nelson.
Consider it an order.
Um, but this is a social affair.
Now, surely NASA can't
order me...
This order did not come
from NASA, Major Nelson.
It came from the top.
The president?
Higher than that.
My wife.
[♪]
[SIGHS]
You look so handsome, master.
Well, thank you, Jeannie.
Do you know who
you should take tonight?
No, no. Who?
Bootsie Nightingale.
What, uh...?
What made you say that?
I feel sorry for her.
An old woman
all alone at a party
with no one to talk to.
If you were her escort,
think how exciting it would be.
Yeah, I've thought.
I've thought.
She would never get over it.
Yeah, a lot of us would have
a hard time getting over it.
Why don't you stay at home now
and forget about the party
and have a wonderful time
looking at television, huh?
[DOORBELL RINGS] Yes, master.
I'll get it.
It's probably Roger.
ROGER:
I'll fight you for her.
Huh?
I just heard you have a date
with the girl
I'm going to marry.
Keep your voice down.
You steal
the most beautiful woman
in the world away from me?
You want me to keep
my voice down?
Easy.
Well, gee, I have a mind
to tell her the whole truth,
that would fix you.
That would fix everybody.
Good evening, Major Healey.
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
You forgot this, master.
Oh, thank you, Jeannie.
I wish you were not
going to have
such a terrible time.
Terrible time?
Oh, with the party? Yes.
Yeah, well, I wish
I were going to the dentist.
Roger, let's go.
We'll see you later.
Bye.
Bye.
Boy, you really got her
eating out of your hands.
TONY: Yeah, but I have to
keep counting my fingers.
Come on.
[GROWLS]
[CHUCKLES]
Are you sure he's cute, Sam?
Bootsie, how many times
do I have to tell you, honey?
He's adorable.
He's divine, and he's all man.
Ooh.
That's the way I like 'em.
BOOTSIE:
You got me all excited, Sam.
I can hardly wait to meet him.
SAM:
And he's on his way up.
Oh, he's here!
Hello, there.
I've been waiting for you.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
I'm Major Anthony Nelson.
And you're Bootsie Nightingale?
[CHUCKLES]
Well.
[TONY CLEARS THROAT]
[TONY LAUGHS]
I've certainly been
looking forward to meeting you.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] I must
have caught a slight cold.
This is all man?
SAM:
He didn't talk like that before.
Well, if you think
I'm going out with him,
you're out of
your ever-loving mind.
But I assure you,
this is just temporary.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I think I know someone who can
cure this almost instantly.
I think,
if you could just be patient.
He sounds like he escaped
from a cartoon.
Get him out of here.
TONY:
B-but listen...
I'm sorry, major.
Why don't you go home
and come back
when you're feeling better.
I can...
SAM:
Nothing personal.
But this is not m-my voice.
What is your next false move?
Wait. Jeannie!
Jeannie, I know you're here.
You're around here someplace.
Dr. Bellows gave...
Jeannie! Jeannie!
Tony, where you been?
I've been waiting
in that car for hours.
Wh-where's Bootsie?
Oh, she's in there.
Listen, I came to pick her up,
and listen what happened
to my voice?
[LAUGHS]
Very funny. Jeannie!
Jeannie, where are you?
Better count your fingers.
[WHISTLES]
Hello. I'm Major Healey.
Oh, come in.
Come in.
Say something.
I love you.
He'll do.
SAM:
Yeah, Major,
how would you like
to escort Miss Nightingale
to the benefit ball tonight?
[SIGHS]
TONY:
Jeannie, it was my fault.
I didn't tell you the whole...
Roger! Roger.
Tell her that this voice
condition is just temporary.
Go ahead, tell her.
Tell her.
Poor devil, that's what happens
when you're up in space
too long.
Wai...
Aah!
She's a sweet little old lady.
Jeannie, get rid of this voice.
[NORMAL VOICE] Voice.
Now, do you know
what you've done?
Yes, master.
If you will excuse me now,
I must get dressed.
I am going to
my first charity ball!
Oh, no, you're not.
[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHUCKLES] Well.
Here we are.
Yes, we certainly are.
[SIGHS]
You know, I could spend
the rest of my life
looking at you.
Oh, I dig you too.
I mean it was like, wow, pow!
The first time
I set eyes on you...
Robert.
It's R-Roger.
Yes.
And you can call me
Bootsie, baby.
Bootsie baby.
Excuse me,
have you seen Major Nelson?
Who?
She means Mickey Mouse.
Mickey Mouse?
Pardon me, Alfred?
Oh, excuse me, Neil.
Darling, where is Major Nelson?
Oh, isn't he with
Miss Nightingale?
No, Miss Nightingale
is with Major Healey.
Well, I arranged for
Major Nelson to be her escort.
Something must have gone wrong.
What do you mean?
Well, Miss Nightingale
just called Major Nelson
Mickey Mouse.
Mickey Mouse?
Why would she call him that?
I don't know.
But I smell a rat.
Oh!
Let's go look for him, darling.
Yes.
No, thank you.
Thank you very much.
Now, let's see...
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
There.
Good evening, master, darling.
Do you like my new dress?
Jeannie...
Oh, it's a lovely party.
Thank you so much
for inviting me.
I-I-I not only
didn't invite you,
I am ordering you
to leave immediately.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] If you ever
do this to me again, I'm gonna...
[CLEARS THROAT]
Jeannie?
Yes, master?
I want you to stay at the party
and have a wonderful time.
Oh, thank you, master.
Yeah.
[NORMAL VOICE] Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
I will see you later.
Wait a minute,
where's Miss Nightingale?
Oh, she's with Major Healey.
Huh?
They make a perfect couple.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
I c-c-can't get over it.
What can't you get over, baby?
Me sitting here with you.
Holding my hand?
H-holding your h-hand.
[GASPS]
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's all right.
I guess I'm a little nervous.
You nervous?
Why, I bet you just drive
all the girls wild
with your animal magnetism.
Well, I wouldn't say
I drive them wild...
If there's anything I love,
it's a modest hero.
I just get chills all over
thinking about
those planets you go to.
Mars and Juniper and...
J-J-Jupiter.
Yes, and Venus.
Venus, the planet of love.
After we're engaged,
you'll have to stay
on the ground.
Well, I can't stay
on the ground.
You see, we're working on
this Apollo mission
and to the moon...
After we're engaged?
If that's what you want.
If that's what I want?
I want what you want.
Right now, I want you
to get off my foot.
I'm sorry.
Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry.
I ripped your dress.
I'll get the maid to sew it up.
Don't move.
Stay right there.
I can't believe it.
Me, engaged
to Bootsie Nightingale.
Oh, Tony.
Tony?
Oh, hi.
Well, congratulate me.
Congratulations.
Aren't...?
Aren't you gonna ask me why?
No. Where's
Bootsie Nightingale?
That's why.
What?
We're engaged. I'm engaged
to Bootsie Nightingale.
We're going to get married.
What are you talking about?
I can't understand it myself.
I swept her off her feet.
[HUMMING]
Hey, everything a-o...?
What happened to you?
I'll tell you
what happened to me.
That astronaut happened to me.
Ten-to-one,
he'll knock down the moon.
Lower your voice.
[LAUGHS]
You're talking
about your fiancé.
Are you kidding me?
I'll go back
to television first.
Don't, uh...
Don't even say that in jest.
I've already hinted to the press
that you'll marry the astronaut.
They don't grow on bushes,
you know.
Oh, that's all I needed.
Now, here comes Mickey Mouse.
I've been looking everywhere
for you. I wanted to explain...
Your voice.
Oh, yes,
I wanted to explain about that.
I love it.
Huh?
You can make the announcement.
Give me 10 minutes.
That's my girl.
I'm Major Anthony Nelson.
I was supposed to escort...
Oh, you don't have to tell me
who you are, sweetie.
I go to sleep every night
with your picture
under my pillow.
TONY:
I, uh... I...
I'll bet you
drive all the girls wild
with your animal magnetism.
I-I beg your pardon?
If there's anything I love,
it's a modest hero.
I get chills all over thinking
of those planets you go to.
Mars and Juniper...
[CHUCKLES]
Jupiter.
And Venus.
Venus, the planet of love.
Well, I... I just
talked to, uh, Roger.
He was under the impression...
He's a boy.
Yeah, well,
he's old enough to...
I like men.
[LAUGHING]
Roger says that you think
you wanna get married.
Don't you?
Oh, of course.
One of these...
Excuse me.
Ah-ha!
Ladies and gentlemen,
can I have your attention,
please?
Please.
Miss Bootsie Nightingale
has a very important
announcement to make.
[DRUMROLL]
This is the happiest moment
of my life.
BOOTSIE: Ladies and
gentlemen, my dear fans...
What is going on?
I think she'll make
a little wedding announcement.
Excuse me.
BOOTSIE: To thank every one
of you for making this
possible for me.
They're not giving you
an Oscar, sweetheart.
Just make the announcement.
BOOTSIE: Excuse me. Come on.
SAM: Do you mind?
[SHRIEKS]
Oh, never mind.
Oh, that's a trooper.
Get up there.
Make the announcement, honey.
Ladies and gentlemen
I've just become engaged
to the most wonderful...
[SHRIEKS]
[CROWD MURMURING]
[WAILING]
Bootsie, baby,
what have they done to you?
What, what happened, baby?
Get away from me.
Get away!
Now, now, Bootsie...
SAM:
I do not want to hurt you.
Baby, please.
Will you stop...?
[♪]
Have you heard from Major Healey
this morning, master?
No. I think
he's probably so upset
about what happened last night,
he doesn't want
to show his face.
Major Healey falls in love
very easily, does he not?
Yeah, that he does.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Hi, Roger
Hi, Tony. Hi, Jeannie.
We were just talking about you.
Good morning, Major Healey.
How are you feeling?
H...? How am I feeling?
I never felt better
in my whole life.
Oh, we were afraid that you
would be unhappy
because you didn't marry
Bootsie Nightingale.
Me unhappy?
Oh, you don't think
I took that seriously, do you?
Didn't you?
You've got to learn
to know me better.
You don't think I was impressed
with the Hollywood
phony glamour.
She was just another blond.
Good, good.
Would you like a cup of coffee?
No, thank you.
I'm in kind of a hurry.
I have a fellow waiting outside.
Tony, can I borrow your car?
What's the matter with yours?
I'm having trouble
with my brakes.
Could you lend me your keys?
There's a fellow waiting...
Good morning, everybody.
Hi, fellow.
What a beautiful day
to go flying.
Major Healey has promised
to take me for a ride
in his very own space capsule.
I'm so excited.
I can just imagine
the newspaper headlines now.
Glamorous Hollywood star
and handsome astronaut
slinging their way
through the universe...
[♪]
I'll wait for you outside, okay?
Okay.
[WHISTLING]
Good morning,
Mrs. Bellows.
Oh! Major Healey.
Oh! Mrs. Bellows.
For once Alfred was right.
He told me you were
here in the gymnasium.
Why don't we talk outside?
Women are not allowed
in the gym.
Oh, don't be so stuffy, major.
My husband's a doctor.
Now, where's Major Nelson?
Well, you can't see him
right now...
Of course, I can see him.
There he is.
Oh, Mrs. Bellows.
Mrs. Bellows?
Oh, Major Nelson.
Oh! Hello, Mrs. Bellows.
Hello, I've been
looking for you everywhere.
Now, boys, I must talk
to both of you immediately.
I've got some marvelous news
for you.
Oh, well, couldn't it
wait? I mean...
No, no, no, it can't wait.
Now listen,
I'm going to be chairman
for the benefit ball
at the hospital Saturday,
and the press is screaming
for the guest list.
I'm gonna need both
of you desperately.
Well, I'm afraid
we're pretty busy.
Yeah, we're kind of...
I'm going to have dozens
of beautiful unattached
females there.
BOTH:
What time Saturday night?
Ooh, I knew I could
count on both of you.
It's gonna be
the swankiest event
of the entire season.
And to top it off,
I have arranged
to have as our guest
the most glamorous movie star
in all of Hollywood.
A movie star?
Yes, Bootsie Nightingale!
Bootsie Nightingale.
Boys, I've so much to do.
I'll see you later.
Goodbye.
Bootsie Nightingale?
Here on the base?
I can't believe it.
What are you getting
so excited about?
What am I getting excited...?
Bootsie Nightingale?
Y-you mean
you're not excited?
Roger, she's just a girl.
Yeah.
Come on, let's go.
Tony.
Yeah?
[♪]
[♪]
[ROGER WHISTLES]
Bootsie Nightingale.
Boy, I've always been crazy
about her.
Yeah.
Sounds like Mrs. Bellows
cooked up
a swinging affair for a change.
Yeah, you may have a problem.
What do you mean?
Well, Jeannie.
You and all those
beautiful women?
She probably won't even
let you go.
Oh. Don't worry about Jeannie.
I'll take care of her.
How?
I'll lie.
[♪]
I have to go, Jeannie.
It's... It's business.
I really don't want to.
Well, if the benefit party
is not any fun, master,
why do they call it a ball?
It's just an expression.
People give these parties
to raise money,
and everybody goes
and has a terrible time.
Well, I do not want you
to have a terrible time.
Thanks.
So, I will go too.
Huh?
I'll take charge
of the entertainment.
I'll have elephants, jugglers,
clowns, lions and tigers...
And I'll have a full-fledged
general court-martial.
No, thank you very much.
It's very kind of you, Jeannie,
but I'll just have
to suffer for one night.
Oh, master, you are so brave.
Yeah, well...
sometimes we all have
to give a little extra.
[♪]
Bootsie, baby, please.
It's a benefit for a hospital
at the Space Center in Florida.
You're boring me, sweetie.
But every big shot
in the space program
will be there.
Don't you understand?
Think of your career.
I'm gonna have
a career in space?
The newspapers,
television, radio,
there'll be reporters
and photographers
all over the place.
And there you'll be, sweetheart,
looking beautiful and gorgeous
telling them
about your next picture, huh?
Now, you gotta do this.
Would I be the greatest manager
in the business
if I didn't know what
I was talking about,
now would I?
Kiss Herman.
Oh, I don't wanna kiss Herman.
Now, would you
listen to me, Bootsie?
I got a great idea
that's gonna get your picture
on the front page of every
newspaper in the country.
You will be
America's sweetheart.
Kiss Herman.
Ain't you even gonna ask me
what the great idea is?
Will you ask me already?
What's the great idea?
You know what you're gonna do
at the benefit ball
at the Space Center, huh?
You're gonna get yourself
engaged to a handsome astronaut.
Huh?
Oh!
Oh, we love it!
[BARKS]
[♪]
Have a good day, master.
Oh, I'm gonna have
a wonderful day, Jeannie.
Hi, Jeannie. Hi.
Hello, Major Healey.
Oh, no fireworks, huh?
Fireworks?
Of course not.
Then it's all right
about Saturday night?
Let's go, Roger.
Oh, you mean about the ball?
Of course.
I am going to stay home,
and Major Nelson will go.
Yeah, well, you sure have
the all-American know-how.
Yeah, let's go.
Bootsie Nightingale,
here we come.
Yeah. See you later.
What is a Bootsie Nightingale?
Oh, um, uh, tell her, Roge.
Oh, didn't you tell her
about Bootsie Nightingale?
TONY:
No.
Oh, Bootsie Nightingale
is an award.
It's an Oscar.
The movies have their Oscars,
and the, uh, TV
have their Emmys.
And the hospital benefits
have their Bootsie Nightingales.
Yeah, that... That's right.
Wh-what do you think of that?
Not much.
All right, Bootsie is a...
Roge, um...
Bootsie Nightingale
is a movie star.
And she's gonna be a guest
at the benefit ball.
Now you're in trouble.
TONY:
No, don't be silly.
Jeannie understands
about these things,
don't you, Jeannie?
Oh, yes.
That is why you are in trouble.
I will not let you go
to a party with a movie star.
Oh, I'm not going
with Bootsie Nightingale.
I may not even meet her.
There'll be
a hundred people there.
A hundred and one.
No, you're not going.
Oh, but why?
Well, because I have a... A lot
of the guests to take care of.
Yeah, and there's going to be
a lot of guests
that need taking care of.
And you will not be
with this Footsie Nightingale?
[CHUCKLES]
"Bootsie."
Bootsie Nightingale.
I'm afraid the old girl
will just
have to find herself
another escort.
She's old?
Uh, she used to play opposite
Rudolph Valentino.
Rudolph Valentino?
Aristophanes.
Oh.
She is old.
Well, I'll...
I'll see you later.
But I have never been
to a benefit ball!
JEANNIE:
Master.
I just remembered,
I have a perfect dress to wear.
It was designed by Cleopatra,
and Mark Antony loved it.
Oh, well, let him give
a party for you.
You're not coming to this one.
Now, where are you, Jeannie?
Is it because you would be
ashamed of me?
Ah, you know
that's not the reason.
You know that. Jeannie?
Jeannie?
[SIGHS]
Well, you know
how I feel about you.
I'd never be ashamed
to take you any place.
I bet you'd look beautiful
in Cleopatra's gown.
Maybe you can wear it
some other time.
Maybe she'll give...
If you're busy with Cleopatra,
I can come back.
No, sir.
I wasn't speaking...
I was just speaking
out loud actually.
Oh, yes.
Do you talk to Cleopatra
very often?
No. No, I wasn't speaking
to Cleopatra.
I was, let me explain...
You don't have
to explain, major.
Psychologically,
it's very healthy
to act out
your little fantasies.
Say hello for me, won't you?
I've always been
the great admirer of hers.
[JEANNIE LAUGHS]
Uh, what'd you say?
Nothing.
[JEANNIE LAUGHS]
Thanks, thanks very much.
Oh, thanks.
Now, colonel,
it's very important
that we get the right guy
to escort Bootsie.
Now, I need a fellow
with a lot of zing.
You know what I mean, colonel?
I-I-I want a fun astronaut.
Fun astronaut.
With a lot of pizzazz.
A lot of pizzazz.
And good-looking
and a little bit offbeat,
you know what I mean, colonel?
A-a-a... Colorful.
You got anybody here
this-that's got a lot of color?
I have just the man you're
looking for, Mr. Dawkin.
Oh, uh, sergeant.
Tell Major Nelson
I want to see him.
Colonel, are you ready for this?
That's Bootsie.
You can certainly see
she has talent.
Major Nelson, you're
escorting Miss Nightingale
to the benefit ball.
Oh, um...
well, I think you'd better
get somebody else, sir.
Oh, he's really colorful.
What's the matter with you?
You've got something
against beautiful women?
Oh, no.
It's just that I don't think
I deserve what's
gonna happen to me.
He's modest.
It's all settled, major.
Um, sir, I'd really appreciate
it if you would reconsider.
No, Major Nelson.
Consider it an order.
Um, but this is a social affair.
Now, surely NASA can't
order me...
This order did not come
from NASA, Major Nelson.
It came from the top.
The president?
Higher than that.
My wife.
[♪]
[SIGHS]
You look so handsome, master.
Well, thank you, Jeannie.
Do you know who
you should take tonight?
No, no. Who?
Bootsie Nightingale.
What, uh...?
What made you say that?
I feel sorry for her.
An old woman
all alone at a party
with no one to talk to.
If you were her escort,
think how exciting it would be.
Yeah, I've thought.
I've thought.
She would never get over it.
Yeah, a lot of us would have
a hard time getting over it.
Why don't you stay at home now
and forget about the party
and have a wonderful time
looking at television, huh?
[DOORBELL RINGS] Yes, master.
I'll get it.
It's probably Roger.
ROGER:
I'll fight you for her.
Huh?
I just heard you have a date
with the girl
I'm going to marry.
Keep your voice down.
You steal
the most beautiful woman
in the world away from me?
You want me to keep
my voice down?
Easy.
Well, gee, I have a mind
to tell her the whole truth,
that would fix you.
That would fix everybody.
Good evening, Major Healey.
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
You forgot this, master.
Oh, thank you, Jeannie.
I wish you were not
going to have
such a terrible time.
Terrible time?
Oh, with the party? Yes.
Yeah, well, I wish
I were going to the dentist.
Roger, let's go.
We'll see you later.
Bye.
Bye.
Boy, you really got her
eating out of your hands.
TONY: Yeah, but I have to
keep counting my fingers.
Come on.
[GROWLS]
[CHUCKLES]
Are you sure he's cute, Sam?
Bootsie, how many times
do I have to tell you, honey?
He's adorable.
He's divine, and he's all man.
Ooh.
That's the way I like 'em.
BOOTSIE:
You got me all excited, Sam.
I can hardly wait to meet him.
SAM:
And he's on his way up.
Oh, he's here!
Hello, there.
I've been waiting for you.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
I'm Major Anthony Nelson.
And you're Bootsie Nightingale?
[CHUCKLES]
Well.
[TONY CLEARS THROAT]
[TONY LAUGHS]
I've certainly been
looking forward to meeting you.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] I must
have caught a slight cold.
This is all man?
SAM:
He didn't talk like that before.
Well, if you think
I'm going out with him,
you're out of
your ever-loving mind.
But I assure you,
this is just temporary.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I think I know someone who can
cure this almost instantly.
I think,
if you could just be patient.
He sounds like he escaped
from a cartoon.
Get him out of here.
TONY:
B-but listen...
I'm sorry, major.
Why don't you go home
and come back
when you're feeling better.
I can...
SAM:
Nothing personal.
But this is not m-my voice.
What is your next false move?
Wait. Jeannie!
Jeannie, I know you're here.
You're around here someplace.
Dr. Bellows gave...
Jeannie! Jeannie!
Tony, where you been?
I've been waiting
in that car for hours.
Wh-where's Bootsie?
Oh, she's in there.
Listen, I came to pick her up,
and listen what happened
to my voice?
[LAUGHS]
Very funny. Jeannie!
Jeannie, where are you?
Better count your fingers.
[WHISTLES]
Hello. I'm Major Healey.
Oh, come in.
Come in.
Say something.
I love you.
He'll do.
SAM:
Yeah, Major,
how would you like
to escort Miss Nightingale
to the benefit ball tonight?
[SIGHS]
TONY:
Jeannie, it was my fault.
I didn't tell you the whole...
Roger! Roger.
Tell her that this voice
condition is just temporary.
Go ahead, tell her.
Tell her.
Poor devil, that's what happens
when you're up in space
too long.
Wai...
Aah!
She's a sweet little old lady.
Jeannie, get rid of this voice.
[NORMAL VOICE] Voice.
Now, do you know
what you've done?
Yes, master.
If you will excuse me now,
I must get dressed.
I am going to
my first charity ball!
Oh, no, you're not.
[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHUCKLES] Well.
Here we are.
Yes, we certainly are.
[SIGHS]
You know, I could spend
the rest of my life
looking at you.
Oh, I dig you too.
I mean it was like, wow, pow!
The first time
I set eyes on you...
Robert.
It's R-Roger.
Yes.
And you can call me
Bootsie, baby.
Bootsie baby.
Excuse me,
have you seen Major Nelson?
Who?
She means Mickey Mouse.
Mickey Mouse?
Pardon me, Alfred?
Oh, excuse me, Neil.
Darling, where is Major Nelson?
Oh, isn't he with
Miss Nightingale?
No, Miss Nightingale
is with Major Healey.
Well, I arranged for
Major Nelson to be her escort.
Something must have gone wrong.
What do you mean?
Well, Miss Nightingale
just called Major Nelson
Mickey Mouse.
Mickey Mouse?
Why would she call him that?
I don't know.
But I smell a rat.
Oh!
Let's go look for him, darling.
Yes.
No, thank you.
Thank you very much.
Now, let's see...
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
There.
Good evening, master, darling.
Do you like my new dress?
Jeannie...
Oh, it's a lovely party.
Thank you so much
for inviting me.
I-I-I not only
didn't invite you,
I am ordering you
to leave immediately.
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] If you ever
do this to me again, I'm gonna...
[CLEARS THROAT]
Jeannie?
Yes, master?
I want you to stay at the party
and have a wonderful time.
Oh, thank you, master.
Yeah.
[NORMAL VOICE] Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
I will see you later.
Wait a minute,
where's Miss Nightingale?
Oh, she's with Major Healey.
Huh?
They make a perfect couple.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
I c-c-can't get over it.
What can't you get over, baby?
Me sitting here with you.
Holding my hand?
H-holding your h-hand.
[GASPS]
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's all right.
I guess I'm a little nervous.
You nervous?
Why, I bet you just drive
all the girls wild
with your animal magnetism.
Well, I wouldn't say
I drive them wild...
If there's anything I love,
it's a modest hero.
I just get chills all over
thinking about
those planets you go to.
Mars and Juniper and...
J-J-Jupiter.
Yes, and Venus.
Venus, the planet of love.
After we're engaged,
you'll have to stay
on the ground.
Well, I can't stay
on the ground.
You see, we're working on
this Apollo mission
and to the moon...
After we're engaged?
If that's what you want.
If that's what I want?
I want what you want.
Right now, I want you
to get off my foot.
I'm sorry.
Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry.
I ripped your dress.
I'll get the maid to sew it up.
Don't move.
Stay right there.
I can't believe it.
Me, engaged
to Bootsie Nightingale.
Oh, Tony.
Tony?
Oh, hi.
Well, congratulate me.
Congratulations.
Aren't...?
Aren't you gonna ask me why?
No. Where's
Bootsie Nightingale?
That's why.
What?
We're engaged. I'm engaged
to Bootsie Nightingale.
We're going to get married.
What are you talking about?
I can't understand it myself.
I swept her off her feet.
[HUMMING]
Hey, everything a-o...?
What happened to you?
I'll tell you
what happened to me.
That astronaut happened to me.
Ten-to-one,
he'll knock down the moon.
Lower your voice.
[LAUGHS]
You're talking
about your fiancé.
Are you kidding me?
I'll go back
to television first.
Don't, uh...
Don't even say that in jest.
I've already hinted to the press
that you'll marry the astronaut.
They don't grow on bushes,
you know.
Oh, that's all I needed.
Now, here comes Mickey Mouse.
I've been looking everywhere
for you. I wanted to explain...
Your voice.
Oh, yes,
I wanted to explain about that.
I love it.
Huh?
You can make the announcement.
Give me 10 minutes.
That's my girl.
I'm Major Anthony Nelson.
I was supposed to escort...
Oh, you don't have to tell me
who you are, sweetie.
I go to sleep every night
with your picture
under my pillow.
TONY:
I, uh... I...
I'll bet you
drive all the girls wild
with your animal magnetism.
I-I beg your pardon?
If there's anything I love,
it's a modest hero.
I get chills all over thinking
of those planets you go to.
Mars and Juniper...
[CHUCKLES]
Jupiter.
And Venus.
Venus, the planet of love.
Well, I... I just
talked to, uh, Roger.
He was under the impression...
He's a boy.
Yeah, well,
he's old enough to...
I like men.
[LAUGHING]
Roger says that you think
you wanna get married.
Don't you?
Oh, of course.
One of these...
Excuse me.
Ah-ha!
Ladies and gentlemen,
can I have your attention,
please?
Please.
Miss Bootsie Nightingale
has a very important
announcement to make.
[DRUMROLL]
This is the happiest moment
of my life.
BOOTSIE: Ladies and
gentlemen, my dear fans...
What is going on?
I think she'll make
a little wedding announcement.
Excuse me.
BOOTSIE: To thank every one
of you for making this
possible for me.
They're not giving you
an Oscar, sweetheart.
Just make the announcement.
BOOTSIE: Excuse me. Come on.
SAM: Do you mind?
[SHRIEKS]
Oh, never mind.
Oh, that's a trooper.
Get up there.
Make the announcement, honey.
Ladies and gentlemen
I've just become engaged
to the most wonderful...
[SHRIEKS]
[CROWD MURMURING]
[WAILING]
Bootsie, baby,
what have they done to you?
What, what happened, baby?
Get away from me.
Get away!
Now, now, Bootsie...
SAM:
I do not want to hurt you.
Baby, please.
Will you stop...?
[♪]
Have you heard from Major Healey
this morning, master?
No. I think
he's probably so upset
about what happened last night,
he doesn't want
to show his face.
Major Healey falls in love
very easily, does he not?
Yeah, that he does.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Hi, Roger
Hi, Tony. Hi, Jeannie.
We were just talking about you.
Good morning, Major Healey.
How are you feeling?
H...? How am I feeling?
I never felt better
in my whole life.
Oh, we were afraid that you
would be unhappy
because you didn't marry
Bootsie Nightingale.
Me unhappy?
Oh, you don't think
I took that seriously, do you?
Didn't you?
You've got to learn
to know me better.
You don't think I was impressed
with the Hollywood
phony glamour.
She was just another blond.
Good, good.
Would you like a cup of coffee?
No, thank you.
I'm in kind of a hurry.
I have a fellow waiting outside.
Tony, can I borrow your car?
What's the matter with yours?
I'm having trouble
with my brakes.
Could you lend me your keys?
There's a fellow waiting...
Good morning, everybody.
Hi, fellow.
What a beautiful day
to go flying.
Major Healey has promised
to take me for a ride
in his very own space capsule.
I'm so excited.
I can just imagine
the newspaper headlines now.
Glamorous Hollywood star
and handsome astronaut
slinging their way
through the universe...
[♪]