I Dream of Jeannie (1965–1970): Season 1, Episode 16 - Get Me to Mecca on Time - full transcript
On the day of Ramdah masters must journey to Mecca to recite the ancient words or their genie will lose her powers and disappear.
[♪]
Jeannie.
Jeannie?
Oh.
Jeannie?
What's the matter?
I do not know, master.
I feel so weak, as if
all my strength had gone.
Oh, you should've left me
in my bottle on the beach
so I would not
be any trouble to you.
You're no trouble.
Perhaps it is finally my age.
[CHUCKLES] Don't be ridiculous.
You're the youngest
2000-year-old woman
I've ever known.
You probably have
a touch of the virus.
You, uh... You get a lot
of rest today,
and I'll go to the base,
and I'll grab...
Oh, you must not leave
without your breakfast.
Now, listen.
If you're not feeling well,
I'll get some
breakfast at the base.
No. I will feel even worse
if I do not attend my master.
Are you sure?
Oh, I am sure.
All right.
[GASPS]
Half an egg.
You really aren't well, are you?
[GASPS]
Jeannie.
I'd ask you
to conjure up a doctor,
but I'd hate to see
what he'd look like.
Young lady, you're going to bed.
I mean right now.
Oh, well, I...
I am sure I will be
all right, master.
Now who's the master
around here?
Now you lie down on that couch,
and you get plenty
of rest today.
I'll, uh... I'll give you
a ring later on, okay?
Bye.
Oh.
[SNAPS]
My car's in the shop.
I have to call a cab.
Oh, I will conjure
one up for you, master.
No, no, no, I'm not kidding...
And after that, I will
lie down all day.
I promise.
All right, if you're sure.
Mm-hm.
Okay.
[HORSES WHINNYING]
[♪]
[♪]
[DOOR OPENS]
Hi, Roge.
Good morning.
Well...
congratulate me.
I am about to
fall in love again.
Oh, yeah?
What's her name?
I don't know.
I haven't met her yet.
Oh, Roge.
Now, come on.
Oh, no, I mean it.
According to my horoscope,
a beautiful, gorgeous brunette
is entering my life today.
Horoscope?
You're kidding.
Ah. I see we have
another skeptic.
See this?
In two weeks, this horoscope
hasn't been wrong once.
I happen to be a Libra,
and Venus is my ruling planet.
You're telling me.
See these two parallel lines?
They indicate
a beautiful Sagittarius
is crossing my path today.
See?
Kind of skinny, isn't she?
Very funny. Very funny.
I'll tell you when I meet her.
When were you born?
Uh, 25th of July.
July the 25th?
July. That's a Leo.
July the 25th.
Leo, Leo, Leo. Oh!
Mars is your solar fifth house.
Today you're going on a trip.
A long, long trip
to a far-off place.
Well, I am testing a new module.
Ah! What did I tell you?
Indoors.
Well, indoors or outdoors, uh,
what do you expect
from a 35-cent magazine?
Wait a minute.
It also says you're going to
meet many strangers.
Nobody any stranger than you.
Hey, look at this!
Jupiter is in direct
juxtaposition to Mercury today.
Hey, how about that?
That's the first time
that's happened in 2000 years.
Roger, you don't really
believe in this, do you?
I mean, you're an astronaut.
I know. But I don't wanna take
any, uh, unnecessary chances.
Hey, look, uh,
we'd better be going.
Dr. Bellows
is waiting for us.
Okay. I just gotta make
a phone call.
All right, but, uh,
I wouldn't keep him waiting
too long if I were you.
[RINGING]
[WEAKLY] Hello?
Oh, hello, Jeannie.
How you feeling?
Oh, master,
I'm so glad you called.
I do not wish to
worry you, but...
one of my feet is missing.
Missing?
Well, where did you put it?
I mean... I mean, how could
one of your feet be missing?
It just... vanished.
No. Now, that's impossible.
You must have misplaced it.
Uh... Uh...
You look for your foot,
while I wait.
Try the end of your leg.
No?
Did you look behind the couch?
[SIGHS]
It has come back, master.
Good girl.
I... I knew you'd find it.
But I'm losing my hand.
Now, don't let your hand
get away from you.
Hold on to your hand
with your other hand.
And don't panic.
It could happen to anybody.
[SIGHS]
I have it back.
But I feel so weak.
Now... Now,
y-you stay there
and hold on to your hands
and feet until I get there.
And if they start
to disappear again...
And it's been nice
chatting with you.
Who was that, captain?
An old friend, sir.
A man or woman?
Woman.
And her arms and her legs
are missing?
No, sir. They're back.
I... I mean... it sounds like
a case of delirium tremens.
Your friend drinks a lot?
Well, I think it's safe to say
she spends most of her time
with her bottle.
At least I think I see.
With you, I never know.
Uh, I owe you a lot, captain.
Me, sir?
Yes.
At one time,
I was thinking of retiring.
But, um, I was getting bored.
But do you know something?
Once you came
into the space program,
I haven't had one boring minute.
Oh, well... I'm glad I'm able
to amuse you, sir.
Oh, I'm not amused. I'm baffled.
And I'm gonna stay right here
until I get to the bottom
of what it is about you
that baffles me.
Well, I'm really
a very simple man.
Of course you are.
You drink salt water.
You keep horses
in your living room.
You carry on conversations
with bottles.
And do you know
what you said on the phone
to your friend just now
when her hand disappeared?
"Don't panic.
It could happen to anyone."
Just a figure of speech, sir.
I'm going to add it
to my collection.
Um...
You have a test
coming up, captain.
I'll meet you
in the testing room.
Jeannie,
what are you doing here?
I told you to stay home
and rest.
It is no use, master.
Something has happened to me.
I... I am vanishing.
No. No, all you need
is a good night's sleep.
Oh. I cannot understand
what has happened to me.
Well, if you don't
feel better by tonight,
we'll get you a good doctor.
No doctor could...
What is this, master?
Oh, it's just some
nonsense Roger left here.
Jeannie, it's
very important that...
Master, look!
Jupiter and Mercury
are together.
Oh, fine, fine.
I have to go over to the test...
This is the day of the Ram.
Good. It's about time
they won a game. I...
You do not understand.
On the day of the Ram,
every genie and her master
must make a pilgrimage to Mecca.
Well, I faced east
when I shaved this morning.
Isn't that enough?
You don't really believe in...
Please do not jest, master.
It is why I have been
so ill today.
It is written that on this day,
my master must appear
in the thieves' market
at the Well of Madahar,
face the Minaret
of the Rising Sun,
and repeat the sacred words.
Jeannie, I've got to be
in a test chamber
with Dr. Bellows
in two minutes.
Oh, please, master.
If Ramdah is not appeased,
I shall lose my power
and disappear
into limbo forever.
Now, will you stop believing
in this superstitious nonsense.
Now, I want you to go home
and lie down.
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
I'm on my way.
Y-yes.
[♪]
All right, captain.
We're gonna concentrate
on your reaction
to reentry oscillations.
Any specific, uh,
directions, sir?
Oh, we'll give you
your directions
during the ride.
Affirmative.
All right.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hold on, Tony, I'll give you
some pitch and yaw.
How you feeling, captain?
TONY [OVER RADIO]:
What a ride.
We'll stabilize the vehicle.
Stand by for the next maneuver.
What are you doing here?
I work here, captain.
Um, I-I wasn't
talking to you, sir.
He's doing it again.
Jeannie, you've
gotta get out of here.
Master, we must
leave for Mecca now,
while there is still time.
I'm not going to Mecca!
Did you say you're
not going to Mecca?
I said I...
I'm not going to make it.
I think you'd
better bring me down.
Jeannie, you gotta
get out of here right now.
All right, master.
Farewell.
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
I am losing my hand.
Say... Are you on the level
about this Mecca thing?
It is the only way
we can save me.
Okay. Okay, I'll...
I'll go.
Can you hold on?
I'll try.
Oh, but master,
you will get into trouble
if you leave here now.
Oh, forget about that.
I'll meet you at home.
Okay.
BELLOWS: Captain. Captain!
Yes, sir.
Captain, I want to see you
in my office in five minutes.
Could we make it tomorrow, sir?
I've got an emergency
that's come up...
This is an emergency, captain.
How did you know we would
meet today, captain?
You can't fight fate.
Roger, I want to talk to you
a minute, if I can.
Well, here she is.
Right out of my horoscope,
into my life.
This is, uh, Tony Nelson.
Pardon me, Diane.
Hi, hello. How are you?
Very nice to meet you.
You mean it works?
I told you, it never fails.
May I speak to you
alone, please?
Alone. Yeah. I'll be right back.
Don't go away...
Roger, you remember the time
you said I was gonna take a trip
and meet a lot of strangers?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that time has come.
I need a favor.
Well, make it a short favor.
Diane's waiting.
Yeah, I want you to get in
Dr. Bellow's office,
keep him busy
for a couple hours.
Keep him busy?
How?
Well, I don't know how.
Talk about astrology.
Oh, come on.
He'll think I'm crazy.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's the idea.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Where will you be if I need you?
Mecca.
[♪]
Okay, Jeannie. Come on.
Get us to Mecca.
Oh!
Oh, bless thee, master.
I hope it is not too late.
Take hold of my hand.
Jeannie. Jeannie!
Jeannie, where are you?
I'm sorry, master.
I had to stop and change.
Oh. Oh, your legs.
Yeah.
Well, let's get going and look
for that Well of the Madahar...
Oh, master, we are in trouble.
Huh? Why? What's
the matter now?
I've forgotten
where the thieves' market is.
Well, we can't stand
around here all day.
Oh, what are we going to do?
We're gonna talk to the first
thief that comes along.
May I assist you, if I can?
Move along, sister.
I'll take this one.
He's with me.
Uh, I'm with you too, baby.
You two cats
wanna dig the scene?
Uh, we're looking for
the thieves' market.
And we're in a hurry.
Thieves' market?
I never heard of that one.
Let's see, there's
the Cockeyed Camel,
the Purple Pyramid,
the Fez West...
What is this place?
A discotheque?
Oh, no, no, no.
Thou does not understand.
Look, baby, let me take you
to the Basin Street Middle East.
Man, it swings.
No, we're looking
for the thieves' market
near the Well of the Madahar.
Oh, I get it!
Souvenirs.
Yeah. I can steer you
to all that jazz.
Authentic Persian rugs,
pictures of pyramids till
you hold them up to the light.
No, no, no.
The old thieves' market.
You gotta be kidding.
That kind of jazz went out
with high-button veils.
What you kids want...
Thieves' market.
No watusi joints?
No souvenirs...?
Where is it?
You're standing on it.
Good luck, baby.
Don't save all your money in one place.
Hey, wait.
Now, we must find
the Well of the Madahar.
Look! Look,
there it is!
Oh, master, I am saved!
Look.
Oh, no!
[GASPS]
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
I tried to stamp my foot and...
look.
Oh.
You're going faster.
Jeannie, what did you say
about a minaret?
The Minaret of the Rising Sun.
That is what you must face when
you repeat the sacred words.
All right. Let's look
for that. And hurry.
Jeannie. Wait!
There it is!
Yeah?
See it now?
Yeah, yeah.
It is the tall one.
Oh.
Quickly now. Point your right
arm toward the minaret,
palm upward.
Yeah.
Now, take your left hand and
put it under your right elbow.
Right.
No, palm upward also.
It is good luck.
Do as they do.
It must be a native custom.
Lift your left leg from the ground.
Right.
I say, miss.
I've a game left leg.
Rugger at Cambridge.
Would the right one do?
New Canadian Air Force
exercises.
You and your native customs.
We had to come
4000 miles for this?
Please now, master.
All right...
Ooh, I'm terribly sorry.
Come on, Jeannie.
Huh? Oh.
Jeannie, do we really
have to do this?
Oh, yes, master.
Ramdah commands it.
Oh.
Thanks.
Here.
Now, repeat these words.
Bottle to genie.
Bottle to genie.
Genie to master.
Genie to master.
Master to Mecca.
Master to Mecca.
Ramdah!
Ramdah?
Oh! It is
not working.
Oh. I'll try again.
See, perhaps the sacred place
is a few steps to the left.
Yeah.
Okay.
Good show. I say,
is this baseball?
Do you mind?
Bottle to genie, genie to
master, master to Mecca. Ram...
No. No. I-I think
it's a little farther.
Toward this building.
Okay.
Bottle to genie...
Yes. Yes, this is it.
Now, eight steps to the east.
Eight steps to the east?
What are you talking about?
It's in this bank.
And it's closed.
Can't we do this
from some other place?
No, master.
This is the only place.
What are we going to do?
We're gonna break into
the First National Bank
of Mecca.
[♪]
[FOOTSTEPS]
Ahhh!
How are we gonna get in?
I will open the door
from the inside, master.
Well, try again.
Let's hurry it up.
I've never broken
into a bank before.
I'm a little nervous.
Oh. Jeannie, wait.
Wait, Jeannie. Wait.
Oh!
Shhh!
[WHISPERS] Where do I stand?
Oh.
Ah!
Over here!
I think.
You think?
What do you mean, you think?
I'm sure this is
the place. You see?
You can see the Minaret
of the Rising Sun
through that window.
Oh yeah, yeah. All right.
Let's get it over with.
Bottle to...
No coaching.
Bottle to genie,
genie to master...
Master...
...Master to Mecca.
This is the wrong place.
Would you make up your mind.
I cannot help it.
It has been so long.
And there... There was
a well around here.
Well, it's probably
under the floor by now.
But where?
Well, I don't know where!
Now, we haven't time
to start digging!
Now, pick a spot!
Here. This is
the place!
Are you sure?
Positive.
I feel it.
[SIRENS WAILING]
You know what I think?
What?
I think the police
are here. Get us out.
[GRUNTS]
Oh, master, it is too late.
My power is gone.
Your power
is gone. Yeah.
Your power is gone.
Come on, let's go.
Master, Look!
There is the Minaret
of the Rising Sun.
We have been looking at
the Minaret of the Setting Sun.
Oh, quick. Quick,
do the incantation.
All right.
Now, cut it out!
We haven't got time for that.
The police are here.
Master?
What?
I cannot make it.
But you go ahead.
Oh. Jeannie, I can't
leave without you.
All right. I'll
give it another try.
Bottle...
Bottle to genie,
Genie to master...
Don't move.
I'll be right with you.
Master to Mecca, Ramdah...
Stop, or I'll shoot!
You search her.
Hey, hey, hey.
Quickly!
OFFICER:
My horoscope foretold
a lucky day for me today.
TONY:
Oh, let me tell you about mine.
OFFICER:
Quiet!
I shall probably be made
a lieutenant for this.
Perhaps even a captain.
Good, good...
Catching two dangerous
bank robbers red-handed.
We're not bank robbers. No, no.
We're here on a pilgrimage.
You see, this is
the day of the Ram,
and that young lady
over there is a genie.
I found her in a bottle
when my capsule went down
on this island, and...
Well, you're from this part
of the world.
I hardly need tell you
about genies.
[LAUGHS]
Pretending insanity
will not help you.
You will be shot!
Take him to the car.
Now, wait a minute.
Jeannie, do something!
Oh. I'm sorry, master.
I am finished.
Forgive me.
But what will happen to you?
I... I will go back into limbo.
Goodbye, master.
I love you.
TONY:
Jeannie!
OFFICER:
What is she doing?
OFFICER 2:
She's escaping.
Stop!
[TONY BANGS TO FLOOR]
There's only one way
to stop her.
Watch this.
Bottle to genie.
Genie to master.
Master to Mecca.
Ramdah!
Oh, master, you have done it!
Get us out of here, Jeannie.
Enough of this trickery.
Come along.
Wheee! Ha-ha!
Where would you
like to go, master?
Doctor Bellow" office.
How long have you had
this dream that you're a camel?
For years.
Sometimes
I'm a one-hump camel,
and other times
I'm a two-hump camel.
And how do you feel
when you wake up?
[SIGHS]
Thirsty.
Am I late?
Oh. I didn't
hear you come in.
Uh, I'm afraid I won't have time
to see you, Captain Nelson.
I want to put my notes together
on Captain Healey's case.
Captain Healey's case?
Yes. He's been telling me
the most fascinating
case history I've ever heard.
Well, I'm glad
you enjoyed it, doc.
I guess I'll be running along.
Fine. Plan to spend, uh,
every evening next week with me.
Every evening of the next week?
Well, what for, sir?
We're gonna begin
psychoanalysis.
Psychoanalysis?
I don't head psychoanalysis.
I'm as normal as apple pie.
Ask anyone.
Captain Healey...
when a man wakes up
in the middle of night
and goes climbing trees
in his pajamas...
when he feels a compulsion
to try to communicate with bees,
and when he has
a recurring dream
that he's a thirsty camel,
that man needs psychoanalysis.
Well, gosh, Roge.
I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
Wait a minute.
Wait, wait...
What are you talk...
You don't believe I really...
Really what, captain?
[SIGHS]
Nothing, sir.
Uh... how long
will this analysis take?
If everything goes well, uh,
about three years.
What if I told you
I made the whole thing up?
Then I'd say about five years.
Do a friend a favor, huh?
TONY:
Roge, where are you going?
I'm going to put on my pajamas
and go climb a tree!
[♪]
Jeannie.
Jeannie? Ready?
Yes, master.
Hey.
Well, well, well.
Do I please thee?
If it took 2000 years
for you to look like that,
it was worth every day.
You saved my life today.
Thank you.
Well, you've saved
my life often enough.
I guess we're even.
Where shall we go
to dinner tonight?
Um...
I know! I will
take you to Paris!
No, no, no, thank you.
I've had enough
traveling for one day.
I'm gonna take you to dinner.
Oh.
In Cocoa Beach?
Anything you say, master.
Okay. Let's go.
[SNAPS]
Oh, Jeannie, I forgot.
My car's in the the shop.
I'll call a cab.
Oh, do not bother, master.
Oh, Jeannie,
it's not happening
all over again.
Oh, no, master.
But on a night like this
with a moon,
I thought it would be
more romantic.
[CHUCKLES] Okay.
[♪]
Jeannie.
Jeannie?
Oh.
Jeannie?
What's the matter?
I do not know, master.
I feel so weak, as if
all my strength had gone.
Oh, you should've left me
in my bottle on the beach
so I would not
be any trouble to you.
You're no trouble.
Perhaps it is finally my age.
[CHUCKLES] Don't be ridiculous.
You're the youngest
2000-year-old woman
I've ever known.
You probably have
a touch of the virus.
You, uh... You get a lot
of rest today,
and I'll go to the base,
and I'll grab...
Oh, you must not leave
without your breakfast.
Now, listen.
If you're not feeling well,
I'll get some
breakfast at the base.
No. I will feel even worse
if I do not attend my master.
Are you sure?
Oh, I am sure.
All right.
[GASPS]
Half an egg.
You really aren't well, are you?
[GASPS]
Jeannie.
I'd ask you
to conjure up a doctor,
but I'd hate to see
what he'd look like.
Young lady, you're going to bed.
I mean right now.
Oh, well, I...
I am sure I will be
all right, master.
Now who's the master
around here?
Now you lie down on that couch,
and you get plenty
of rest today.
I'll, uh... I'll give you
a ring later on, okay?
Bye.
Oh.
[SNAPS]
My car's in the shop.
I have to call a cab.
Oh, I will conjure
one up for you, master.
No, no, no, I'm not kidding...
And after that, I will
lie down all day.
I promise.
All right, if you're sure.
Mm-hm.
Okay.
[HORSES WHINNYING]
[♪]
[♪]
[DOOR OPENS]
Hi, Roge.
Good morning.
Well...
congratulate me.
I am about to
fall in love again.
Oh, yeah?
What's her name?
I don't know.
I haven't met her yet.
Oh, Roge.
Now, come on.
Oh, no, I mean it.
According to my horoscope,
a beautiful, gorgeous brunette
is entering my life today.
Horoscope?
You're kidding.
Ah. I see we have
another skeptic.
See this?
In two weeks, this horoscope
hasn't been wrong once.
I happen to be a Libra,
and Venus is my ruling planet.
You're telling me.
See these two parallel lines?
They indicate
a beautiful Sagittarius
is crossing my path today.
See?
Kind of skinny, isn't she?
Very funny. Very funny.
I'll tell you when I meet her.
When were you born?
Uh, 25th of July.
July the 25th?
July. That's a Leo.
July the 25th.
Leo, Leo, Leo. Oh!
Mars is your solar fifth house.
Today you're going on a trip.
A long, long trip
to a far-off place.
Well, I am testing a new module.
Ah! What did I tell you?
Indoors.
Well, indoors or outdoors, uh,
what do you expect
from a 35-cent magazine?
Wait a minute.
It also says you're going to
meet many strangers.
Nobody any stranger than you.
Hey, look at this!
Jupiter is in direct
juxtaposition to Mercury today.
Hey, how about that?
That's the first time
that's happened in 2000 years.
Roger, you don't really
believe in this, do you?
I mean, you're an astronaut.
I know. But I don't wanna take
any, uh, unnecessary chances.
Hey, look, uh,
we'd better be going.
Dr. Bellows
is waiting for us.
Okay. I just gotta make
a phone call.
All right, but, uh,
I wouldn't keep him waiting
too long if I were you.
[RINGING]
[WEAKLY] Hello?
Oh, hello, Jeannie.
How you feeling?
Oh, master,
I'm so glad you called.
I do not wish to
worry you, but...
one of my feet is missing.
Missing?
Well, where did you put it?
I mean... I mean, how could
one of your feet be missing?
It just... vanished.
No. Now, that's impossible.
You must have misplaced it.
Uh... Uh...
You look for your foot,
while I wait.
Try the end of your leg.
No?
Did you look behind the couch?
[SIGHS]
It has come back, master.
Good girl.
I... I knew you'd find it.
But I'm losing my hand.
Now, don't let your hand
get away from you.
Hold on to your hand
with your other hand.
And don't panic.
It could happen to anybody.
[SIGHS]
I have it back.
But I feel so weak.
Now... Now,
y-you stay there
and hold on to your hands
and feet until I get there.
And if they start
to disappear again...
And it's been nice
chatting with you.
Who was that, captain?
An old friend, sir.
A man or woman?
Woman.
And her arms and her legs
are missing?
No, sir. They're back.
I... I mean... it sounds like
a case of delirium tremens.
Your friend drinks a lot?
Well, I think it's safe to say
she spends most of her time
with her bottle.
At least I think I see.
With you, I never know.
Uh, I owe you a lot, captain.
Me, sir?
Yes.
At one time,
I was thinking of retiring.
But, um, I was getting bored.
But do you know something?
Once you came
into the space program,
I haven't had one boring minute.
Oh, well... I'm glad I'm able
to amuse you, sir.
Oh, I'm not amused. I'm baffled.
And I'm gonna stay right here
until I get to the bottom
of what it is about you
that baffles me.
Well, I'm really
a very simple man.
Of course you are.
You drink salt water.
You keep horses
in your living room.
You carry on conversations
with bottles.
And do you know
what you said on the phone
to your friend just now
when her hand disappeared?
"Don't panic.
It could happen to anyone."
Just a figure of speech, sir.
I'm going to add it
to my collection.
Um...
You have a test
coming up, captain.
I'll meet you
in the testing room.
Jeannie,
what are you doing here?
I told you to stay home
and rest.
It is no use, master.
Something has happened to me.
I... I am vanishing.
No. No, all you need
is a good night's sleep.
Oh. I cannot understand
what has happened to me.
Well, if you don't
feel better by tonight,
we'll get you a good doctor.
No doctor could...
What is this, master?
Oh, it's just some
nonsense Roger left here.
Jeannie, it's
very important that...
Master, look!
Jupiter and Mercury
are together.
Oh, fine, fine.
I have to go over to the test...
This is the day of the Ram.
Good. It's about time
they won a game. I...
You do not understand.
On the day of the Ram,
every genie and her master
must make a pilgrimage to Mecca.
Well, I faced east
when I shaved this morning.
Isn't that enough?
You don't really believe in...
Please do not jest, master.
It is why I have been
so ill today.
It is written that on this day,
my master must appear
in the thieves' market
at the Well of Madahar,
face the Minaret
of the Rising Sun,
and repeat the sacred words.
Jeannie, I've got to be
in a test chamber
with Dr. Bellows
in two minutes.
Oh, please, master.
If Ramdah is not appeased,
I shall lose my power
and disappear
into limbo forever.
Now, will you stop believing
in this superstitious nonsense.
Now, I want you to go home
and lie down.
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
I'm on my way.
Y-yes.
[♪]
All right, captain.
We're gonna concentrate
on your reaction
to reentry oscillations.
Any specific, uh,
directions, sir?
Oh, we'll give you
your directions
during the ride.
Affirmative.
All right.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hold on, Tony, I'll give you
some pitch and yaw.
How you feeling, captain?
TONY [OVER RADIO]:
What a ride.
We'll stabilize the vehicle.
Stand by for the next maneuver.
What are you doing here?
I work here, captain.
Um, I-I wasn't
talking to you, sir.
He's doing it again.
Jeannie, you've
gotta get out of here.
Master, we must
leave for Mecca now,
while there is still time.
I'm not going to Mecca!
Did you say you're
not going to Mecca?
I said I...
I'm not going to make it.
I think you'd
better bring me down.
Jeannie, you gotta
get out of here right now.
All right, master.
Farewell.
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
I am losing my hand.
Say... Are you on the level
about this Mecca thing?
It is the only way
we can save me.
Okay. Okay, I'll...
I'll go.
Can you hold on?
I'll try.
Oh, but master,
you will get into trouble
if you leave here now.
Oh, forget about that.
I'll meet you at home.
Okay.
BELLOWS: Captain. Captain!
Yes, sir.
Captain, I want to see you
in my office in five minutes.
Could we make it tomorrow, sir?
I've got an emergency
that's come up...
This is an emergency, captain.
How did you know we would
meet today, captain?
You can't fight fate.
Roger, I want to talk to you
a minute, if I can.
Well, here she is.
Right out of my horoscope,
into my life.
This is, uh, Tony Nelson.
Pardon me, Diane.
Hi, hello. How are you?
Very nice to meet you.
You mean it works?
I told you, it never fails.
May I speak to you
alone, please?
Alone. Yeah. I'll be right back.
Don't go away...
Roger, you remember the time
you said I was gonna take a trip
and meet a lot of strangers?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that time has come.
I need a favor.
Well, make it a short favor.
Diane's waiting.
Yeah, I want you to get in
Dr. Bellow's office,
keep him busy
for a couple hours.
Keep him busy?
How?
Well, I don't know how.
Talk about astrology.
Oh, come on.
He'll think I'm crazy.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's the idea.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Where will you be if I need you?
Mecca.
[♪]
Okay, Jeannie. Come on.
Get us to Mecca.
Oh!
Oh, bless thee, master.
I hope it is not too late.
Take hold of my hand.
Jeannie. Jeannie!
Jeannie, where are you?
I'm sorry, master.
I had to stop and change.
Oh. Oh, your legs.
Yeah.
Well, let's get going and look
for that Well of the Madahar...
Oh, master, we are in trouble.
Huh? Why? What's
the matter now?
I've forgotten
where the thieves' market is.
Well, we can't stand
around here all day.
Oh, what are we going to do?
We're gonna talk to the first
thief that comes along.
May I assist you, if I can?
Move along, sister.
I'll take this one.
He's with me.
Uh, I'm with you too, baby.
You two cats
wanna dig the scene?
Uh, we're looking for
the thieves' market.
And we're in a hurry.
Thieves' market?
I never heard of that one.
Let's see, there's
the Cockeyed Camel,
the Purple Pyramid,
the Fez West...
What is this place?
A discotheque?
Oh, no, no, no.
Thou does not understand.
Look, baby, let me take you
to the Basin Street Middle East.
Man, it swings.
No, we're looking
for the thieves' market
near the Well of the Madahar.
Oh, I get it!
Souvenirs.
Yeah. I can steer you
to all that jazz.
Authentic Persian rugs,
pictures of pyramids till
you hold them up to the light.
No, no, no.
The old thieves' market.
You gotta be kidding.
That kind of jazz went out
with high-button veils.
What you kids want...
Thieves' market.
No watusi joints?
No souvenirs...?
Where is it?
You're standing on it.
Good luck, baby.
Don't save all your money in one place.
Hey, wait.
Now, we must find
the Well of the Madahar.
Look! Look,
there it is!
Oh, master, I am saved!
Look.
Oh, no!
[GASPS]
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
I tried to stamp my foot and...
look.
Oh.
You're going faster.
Jeannie, what did you say
about a minaret?
The Minaret of the Rising Sun.
That is what you must face when
you repeat the sacred words.
All right. Let's look
for that. And hurry.
Jeannie. Wait!
There it is!
Yeah?
See it now?
Yeah, yeah.
It is the tall one.
Oh.
Quickly now. Point your right
arm toward the minaret,
palm upward.
Yeah.
Now, take your left hand and
put it under your right elbow.
Right.
No, palm upward also.
It is good luck.
Do as they do.
It must be a native custom.
Lift your left leg from the ground.
Right.
I say, miss.
I've a game left leg.
Rugger at Cambridge.
Would the right one do?
New Canadian Air Force
exercises.
You and your native customs.
We had to come
4000 miles for this?
Please now, master.
All right...
Ooh, I'm terribly sorry.
Come on, Jeannie.
Huh? Oh.
Jeannie, do we really
have to do this?
Oh, yes, master.
Ramdah commands it.
Oh.
Thanks.
Here.
Now, repeat these words.
Bottle to genie.
Bottle to genie.
Genie to master.
Genie to master.
Master to Mecca.
Master to Mecca.
Ramdah!
Ramdah?
Oh! It is
not working.
Oh. I'll try again.
See, perhaps the sacred place
is a few steps to the left.
Yeah.
Okay.
Good show. I say,
is this baseball?
Do you mind?
Bottle to genie, genie to
master, master to Mecca. Ram...
No. No. I-I think
it's a little farther.
Toward this building.
Okay.
Bottle to genie...
Yes. Yes, this is it.
Now, eight steps to the east.
Eight steps to the east?
What are you talking about?
It's in this bank.
And it's closed.
Can't we do this
from some other place?
No, master.
This is the only place.
What are we going to do?
We're gonna break into
the First National Bank
of Mecca.
[♪]
[FOOTSTEPS]
Ahhh!
How are we gonna get in?
I will open the door
from the inside, master.
Well, try again.
Let's hurry it up.
I've never broken
into a bank before.
I'm a little nervous.
Oh. Jeannie, wait.
Wait, Jeannie. Wait.
Oh!
Shhh!
[WHISPERS] Where do I stand?
Oh.
Ah!
Over here!
I think.
You think?
What do you mean, you think?
I'm sure this is
the place. You see?
You can see the Minaret
of the Rising Sun
through that window.
Oh yeah, yeah. All right.
Let's get it over with.
Bottle to...
No coaching.
Bottle to genie,
genie to master...
Master...
...Master to Mecca.
This is the wrong place.
Would you make up your mind.
I cannot help it.
It has been so long.
And there... There was
a well around here.
Well, it's probably
under the floor by now.
But where?
Well, I don't know where!
Now, we haven't time
to start digging!
Now, pick a spot!
Here. This is
the place!
Are you sure?
Positive.
I feel it.
[SIRENS WAILING]
You know what I think?
What?
I think the police
are here. Get us out.
[GRUNTS]
Oh, master, it is too late.
My power is gone.
Your power
is gone. Yeah.
Your power is gone.
Come on, let's go.
Master, Look!
There is the Minaret
of the Rising Sun.
We have been looking at
the Minaret of the Setting Sun.
Oh, quick. Quick,
do the incantation.
All right.
Now, cut it out!
We haven't got time for that.
The police are here.
Master?
What?
I cannot make it.
But you go ahead.
Oh. Jeannie, I can't
leave without you.
All right. I'll
give it another try.
Bottle...
Bottle to genie,
Genie to master...
Don't move.
I'll be right with you.
Master to Mecca, Ramdah...
Stop, or I'll shoot!
You search her.
Hey, hey, hey.
Quickly!
OFFICER:
My horoscope foretold
a lucky day for me today.
TONY:
Oh, let me tell you about mine.
OFFICER:
Quiet!
I shall probably be made
a lieutenant for this.
Perhaps even a captain.
Good, good...
Catching two dangerous
bank robbers red-handed.
We're not bank robbers. No, no.
We're here on a pilgrimage.
You see, this is
the day of the Ram,
and that young lady
over there is a genie.
I found her in a bottle
when my capsule went down
on this island, and...
Well, you're from this part
of the world.
I hardly need tell you
about genies.
[LAUGHS]
Pretending insanity
will not help you.
You will be shot!
Take him to the car.
Now, wait a minute.
Jeannie, do something!
Oh. I'm sorry, master.
I am finished.
Forgive me.
But what will happen to you?
I... I will go back into limbo.
Goodbye, master.
I love you.
TONY:
Jeannie!
OFFICER:
What is she doing?
OFFICER 2:
She's escaping.
Stop!
[TONY BANGS TO FLOOR]
There's only one way
to stop her.
Watch this.
Bottle to genie.
Genie to master.
Master to Mecca.
Ramdah!
Oh, master, you have done it!
Get us out of here, Jeannie.
Enough of this trickery.
Come along.
Wheee! Ha-ha!
Where would you
like to go, master?
Doctor Bellow" office.
How long have you had
this dream that you're a camel?
For years.
Sometimes
I'm a one-hump camel,
and other times
I'm a two-hump camel.
And how do you feel
when you wake up?
[SIGHS]
Thirsty.
Am I late?
Oh. I didn't
hear you come in.
Uh, I'm afraid I won't have time
to see you, Captain Nelson.
I want to put my notes together
on Captain Healey's case.
Captain Healey's case?
Yes. He's been telling me
the most fascinating
case history I've ever heard.
Well, I'm glad
you enjoyed it, doc.
I guess I'll be running along.
Fine. Plan to spend, uh,
every evening next week with me.
Every evening of the next week?
Well, what for, sir?
We're gonna begin
psychoanalysis.
Psychoanalysis?
I don't head psychoanalysis.
I'm as normal as apple pie.
Ask anyone.
Captain Healey...
when a man wakes up
in the middle of night
and goes climbing trees
in his pajamas...
when he feels a compulsion
to try to communicate with bees,
and when he has
a recurring dream
that he's a thirsty camel,
that man needs psychoanalysis.
Well, gosh, Roge.
I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
Wait a minute.
Wait, wait...
What are you talk...
You don't believe I really...
Really what, captain?
[SIGHS]
Nothing, sir.
Uh... how long
will this analysis take?
If everything goes well, uh,
about three years.
What if I told you
I made the whole thing up?
Then I'd say about five years.
Do a friend a favor, huh?
TONY:
Roge, where are you going?
I'm going to put on my pajamas
and go climb a tree!
[♪]
Jeannie.
Jeannie? Ready?
Yes, master.
Hey.
Well, well, well.
Do I please thee?
If it took 2000 years
for you to look like that,
it was worth every day.
You saved my life today.
Thank you.
Well, you've saved
my life often enough.
I guess we're even.
Where shall we go
to dinner tonight?
Um...
I know! I will
take you to Paris!
No, no, no, thank you.
I've had enough
traveling for one day.
I'm gonna take you to dinner.
Oh.
In Cocoa Beach?
Anything you say, master.
Okay. Let's go.
[SNAPS]
Oh, Jeannie, I forgot.
My car's in the the shop.
I'll call a cab.
Oh, do not bother, master.
Oh, Jeannie,
it's not happening
all over again.
Oh, no, master.
But on a night like this
with a moon,
I thought it would be
more romantic.
[CHUCKLES] Okay.
[♪]