I, Claudius (1976): Season 1, Episode 9 - Zeus, by Jove! - full transcript

Tiberius summons Caligula and his cousin Gemellus to Capri, declaring them his joint successors. Soon afterwards Tiberius is smothered by Macro, on the orders of Caligula, and his death is hailed joyfully by the citizens of Rome, unaware that worse is to come. Caligula, clearly unstable, sinks into a coma and on recovering, in addition to having Gemellus executed for trying to poison him, declares that he is the god Zeus and marries his sister Drusilla, declaring her a deity also. When Drusilla falls pregnant by him he cuts open her belly and eats the unborn child to prevent him having greater powers than himself as Zeus once allegedly did. Antonia, sickened by his depravity, kills herself.

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I found it in that box.

In there.

The box was in my nephew Caligula's
bedroom.

This once belonged to his father,
Germanicus.

I said I would tell everything,
and I shall

I shall hide nothing. Nothing!

And if what comes next
may seem incredible...

believe it.

Believe it!

Of the last five years of Tiberius? reign,
the less said the better.

He remained at Capri,
entirely given up to whisperers ones,



until at last, when people
began to think he would never die,

he suffered a massive stroke.

He had named Caligula
his principal heir

and Gemellus, who was
his grandson and still a boy,,

his second heir, in case
Caligula should die before him.

- He's dead.
- Really?

Get me his ring.

Let us tell the world
that the world has a new Emperor.

Senators, gentlemen...

our beloved Emperor,
Tiberius Claudius, is dead.

I have left his room having closed
those tired old ayes with this hand.

Before he died, he took
from his finger this ring...

his own seel.
and placed it on my finger.

And he said,
"I die in peace, little Gaius,



"knowing that you rule in my place."

Those were his last words.

I wept. I fell to my knees and wept.

Gentlemen, I stand before you now
as your Emperor.

- Master!
- Long live Rome!

Master! He's alive again!

He's alive. He's calling for his supper
and he wants his ring back.

- Take it! I don't want it!
- Wait a minute!

Gentlemen, I'm sure
there's been a mistake.

This stupid slave saw the wind
stirring the clothes on the bed.

- No. He's asking for beef cutlets!
- Quiet! I'll make a cutlet of you!

He's out of his wits. Can't you see?

You'd better go
and look for yourself.

Exactly. I suggest you all remain here
until the matter's sorted out.

Come on.

I want my supper.

And I want a beef...

I told you he was dead.

Typical! He wanted to see what we'd do
if we thought he was dead.

I shan't forget this, Macro.
I really shan't.

Gentlemen, Tiberius Claudius
is definitely dead.

No question of it.

When I entered his room,
he was lying peacefully in his bed.

We shall take the corpse to Rome
and give him a magnificent funeral!

- Hail Caesar!
- Hail Caesar!

Gentlemen!

We are at the dawn
of a new golden age.

A son of Germanicus
has come before us.

Let us put ourselves in his hands
and vote him supreme power.

Let us cry, "Rome is saved!"
Hail Caesar!

Hail Caesar!

Hail. Caesar!

Herod Agrippa!

Oh, Herod!

I was wondering the other day
where you were and what you were doing.

If I wasn't trying to borrow money,
I was thinking of you!

Did you arrive together?

I went straight to Capua.
I knew he was living there.

I found him leaving for Rome
and intending to call on you on his way.

Nothing could have pleased me better.

Sit down. You remember
my grandson, Gemellus?

- He's grown.
- Mmm. He never stops eating.

It's not good for you to eat
all that p-pastry. It clogs the chest.

If I'm scolded, I'll go inside.

He's given himself such airs
since Tiberius died.

- He thinks he already rules.
- I do.

I was made ruler with Caligula.

Quiet! The Senate have set
that aside. You're much too young.

People are not made emperors
to have the run of baker's shops.

I can't see it's any worse
to eat too much pastry

than it is to drink too much wine.

And a lot of grown-ups do that.

He eats for comfort. Livilla ignored him.
She had other interests.

- I wrote to you about Livilla.
- Yes.

Let's not talk of it. She's dead,
and at my hands. I'd do it again.

Well, perhaps things will improve
now that Caligula is in command.

Let's hope so.

I like all the titles you have for me,
as does my sister, Drusilla.

I shall probably use them all

What about the Consulship, Lentulus?

Your term is up. Have you chosen
the Consul for the next term?

The choice is obvious to us.

The Senate begs you
to accept the next term

and to choose a colleague
to share it.

Accepted.

I hereby proclaim
that my first act as Consul

will be to collect all criminal
dossiers collected by Sejanus

and have them burnt
in the marketplace!

And, in memory of my dear mother,
Agrippina,

there will be a new annual festival
of horse racing and sword fighting.

In future, September will be known
as "Germanicus" after my father,

as August was after my great...
my great grandfather.

And now I have a headache.
This audience is at an end.

- Is your head bad again?
- Yes.

Come to my room
and I'll soothe it for you.

Lentulus...

here is my chosen colleague
to share the Consulship with me.

- Gemellus. An excellent choice.
- No, no! Not Gemellus. Not him.

- My Uncle Claudius.
- Your Uncle Claudius?

Who else should share it
but my father's beloved brother?

Uncle, I appoint you my colleague
as Consul for the first term.

- M-m-me? A C-Consul?
- Yes. We'll rule together.

B-but I've forgotten all the r-rules
and p-procedures.

I'll think of everything
and you can do everything.

B-b-b...

Uncle, there's a galloping in my head
and you're making it worse!

The matter is closed.

- What is the matter with him?
- The matter?

- He keeps clearing his throat.
- He's had a v-very bad cough.

Can't he get rid of it?
It's very irritating.

Well. he's taking a cough mixture.

Oh. I see.

Well, let's hope it clears up soon.

I have a weak chest.
It's not my fault.

No. But it's your chest!

Is that your own hair?

- Pardon?
- Is it your own hair or a wig?

M-my own.

Why have you got so much?
I find that extremely irritating.

You're much older than I am.

Uncle, I've arranged a suite
of rooms for you in the palace.

You can come and live with me
and my sisters. You'll like that.

The whole family will be together.

I'm very fond of my family...

generally speaking.

Uncle, your first official duty
as Consul will be to have...

two statues made of my late
brothers, Drusus and Nero.

They?ll be set up and consecrated
in the marketplace.

The ceremony will take place
in early December.

I know it'll cost a great deal of money,
but there's plenty of money.

Tiberius left 27 million
gold pieces.

M-may I ask how much is l-left?

Lentulus, how much is left?

Between eight and nine, Caesar.

- Is that all?
- He left a lot of debts.

That goody skinflint! He owed money
and left me to pay for it all!

I should have killed him
when I had the chance!

Oh, my headache's getting worse.

Galloping inside it.
Pounding of hooves.

- Come to my room.
- It's in my head.

What was I saying?

You should have k-killed him
when you had the chance.

Yes. Many times I had the chance
and thought of doing it.

Shall I take G-Gemellus to his room?

No. I'm about to tell you a story.
Let him hear.

This will become, I'm sure,
an historic anecdote.

I want you to write it down later,
Uncle.

- Will you stop coughing?!
- It's very difficult.

Well, try!

Lentulus, how much is left?

Of what?

Of Tiberius' fortune.

Between eight and nine million,
Caesar.

- Is that all?
- He also left a lot of debts.

We've had this conversation before,
what's the matter with you?

I know what I was about to say.
I was going to tell you a story.

It happened three, four years ago
in Capri

when I was nothing
but an innocent young boy,

shocked and shamed by the depravity
to which the Emperor had fallen.

More and more,
in my precocious wisdom,

I realised that the fate of Rome
might rely on a single knife stroke.

A knife in my hand.

And the thought tormented me.

I began to see it
as my inescapable destiny.

"But why me?" I said.

"Why me, who never had a single
violent thought in his life?

"Why should this onerous duty
be thrust upon me?"

Yet, one night,
sleepless as usual with grief

at the fate of my dear mother
and my dear brothers...

I decided, come what might...

that I would be avenged, at last,
upon their murderer.

So I took a knife that belonged
to my father, Germanicus,

and I went into the Emperor's room
where he lay tossing and groaning

in a nightmare of guilt.

There was a galloping in my head
and a pounding...

Yes. Yes, I remember.

That was the first time I heard it.

I lifted the dagger
in order to strike...

when a divine voice
sounded in my ear.

"Great grandson, stop!

"Hold your hand.
To kill him would be impious!"

I froze.

I turned to see if I could find
the owner of the voice,

but there was no one there
besides the Emperor and myself.

And yet I felt the presence
of the Divine Augustus.

"Oh, God Augustus!" I cried.

"He killed my mother and my brothers,
your descendants.

"Should I not avenge them

"even at the risk of being shunned
by all men as a parricide?"

Augustus answered.

"Oh, magnanimous son,
who art to be Emperor hereafter,

"there is no need to do
what you would do.

"By my orders,

"the Furies nightly avenge
your dear ones while he sleeps.

(HOOFBEATS)

"Leave them to their work and him
to the torments of his dreams

"and the torments to come
in the hereafter.

"He will suffer eternal agonies,
I swear,

"while you...while you, my son...

"while...after a glorious reign...

"will enter the bosom of Augustus."

I threw the dagger aside.

Father! Father!

(HOOFBEATS)

Help me!

Help me!

Stop it!

STOP IT!

Stop it!

Stop it! Stop!

The statues must be ready
by the end of N-November.

- I said I'd do my best...
- I can take the work elsewhere!

You'd lose time.
We've already started.

- You haven't started them!
- I promise we'll start tomorrow.

The way the Emperor is,
he won't be ready for the ceremony.

Never mind the Emperor,
that's his business.

You just make sure those statues
are r-ready!

The Emperor awoke this morning,
but then relapsed into a coma.

That's all I can tell you.

I suggest that you return
to your homes.

Everything that can be done
is being done.

We pray for him hourly.
Tell him that if he wakes.

I shall

I've offered my own life in place
of his if the gods will spare him.

If anything happens to him, it would
be the worst calamity to befall Rome

since the death of Germanicus.

Your prayers will help him,
I'm sure.

Uncle Claudius, come quickly!
He's awake and he wants to see you.

- What for?
- I don't know.

For heaven's sake, humour him.

He'll kill you if you don't say
what he wants.

- What does he want me to say?
- I don't know!

But he just tried to kill me.

He said I didn't love him.

He made me swear over and over again
that I did! Oh, do go, please!

Hail C-Caesar.

What a j-j-joy to see you alive
and to hear your voice again.

D-dare I hope that you're better?

I've never really been ill

Oh. Really?

No. I've been undergoing
a metamorphosis.

Oh. Was it p-p-painful?

It was like a birth in which
the mother delivers herself.

Oh, yes.

Oh, that m-must have been p-painful

M-may I enquire
what is the character

of this g-glorious change
which has come over you?

Isn't it obvious?

Y-you've b-become a g-g-god!

Oh, my god.

Oh, let me worship you!

Oh, how could I have been so blind?!

Well, I am still in mortal disguise.

No, I should have seen it at once.

Your face shines,
even in this light, like a l-lamp.

Does it?

Get me that mirror.

Oh. It is bright, isn't it?

I could r-read by it.

I always knew
that this would happen.

I always knew I was divine.
Think of it.

When I was two, I put down a mutiny
in my father's army and saved Rome.

That was prodigious.

It's like the stories
they tell of M-Mercury as a child,

or Hercules who s-s-strangled snakes
in his cradle.

Exactly. Only Mercury
only stole a few oxen,

whereas by the age of ten,
I'd already killed my father.

- You didn't know that, did you?
- N-n-no...

Divinity.

Even Jove didn't do that.
He merely banished the old man.

Why, if you d-don't mind my asking,
d-did you do that?

Well, he stood in my way.

Me - a young god!

He tried to discipline me.
So I frightened him to death in Antioch.

So it was you who did all that?

It's incredible.

No, not at all Not for a god.
It was very simple.

Not only did I kill
my natural father,

I also killed my adoptive father,
Tiberius. Jove never did that!

No. I've never read
that he did that.

And you're a very well-read man.

And whereas Jove only slept
with one of his sisters,

I've slept with all three of mine -
all had a god in their beds.

Martina told me it was right
for a god.

Oh, you knew Martina well?

Oh, yes, yes. Very well
A very wise woman.

In Egypt, she taught me about the gods -
especially the Greek ones.

She said that I was
more like Zeus than Jove.

Jove was just a pale
Roman copy of Zeus.

Zeus married his sister, didn't he?

- Yes.
- What was her name?

- Hera.
- Hera. That's it.

And she became pregnant by him.

No. That was Metis.

And fearing that the child would
become stronger than himself

and r-rule the heavens,

he took the child from her body
and swallowed it whole,

and Athena sprang from his head.

Yes, something like that.

I never used to believe that sort
of story but, of course, now...

I can see that they?re true.

Well, now you understand
why I have always been divine.

Drusilla is divine too.

I shall announce it at the same time
I announce my own divinity.

Oh, this is the most glorious hour
of my life!

Will you allow me to retire
and s-sacrifice to you at once?

The d-divine air you exhale
is too strong for me.

I'm fainting, D-Divinity.

Go in peace.

I was thinking of killing you,
but I've changed my mind.

Send Drusilla to me.

He wants to see you.

He's become a god.
Oh, you're a god too.

We're not.

A god? Which one?

He thinks he's Zeus!

- That sounds bad for us mortals.
- Perhaps not.

When he announces his divinity,
they?ll all see he's mad.

We'll have the Republic back.

My friend, this could be the b-best
thing that ever happened to us.

The Emperor is coming.

There is something you ought
to know before he arrives,

so you won't be taken totally
by surprise.

We are privileged to be living
during the most astonishing event.

The Emperor has undergone
a transformation -

a metamorphosis.

He has become a god.

(SOME LAUGHTER)

That is unusual to say the least.

But that's the nature of miracles -
to be unusual

If it's the nature of some people
not to believe in them...

well the more fool them.

The Emperor doesn't want
to make too much of it.

He doesn't want
any public announcements.

He wants us all to behave normally.

Although he is now a god, he is
still the same lovable young man.

I can attest to that.

And to enable his relationships
to continue as they always were,

he has decided, for convenience,
to retain his mortal form.

By the way, his sister Drusilla's
become a goddess. Any questions?

Well, of course, it is unusual.
but, as Sertorius Macro says

that is the nature of miracles.

Why, one must ask oneself,
are gods made only after death?

Sooner or later, a man was bound
to be reborn a god in our very midst.

If we worship the Divine Augustus
after his death,

doesn't it make sense to worship
his great-grandson while he's alive?

I think we should count ourselves
fortunate to be living at this time.

Gentlemen, posterity will envy us.

Posterity will call you an ass,
you idiot.

The Emperor!

(TRUMPET FANFARE)

My sister and I are pleased
to admit you into our presence again.

- Your recovery is a miracle.
- You prayed for it, Lentulus.

Night and day. But our prayers
are not always heard.

Yes, but yours were very special

You offered your life to the gods
in place of mine. That was noble.

It's true. I did.

- What are you going to do about it?
- Do about it?

What do you mean?

Well, I'm still here and so are you,
but we oughtn't both to be here.

Should we not give the gods
the things we promise them?

You're in danger of perjury.
Think about it.

But not too long. The gods won't
wait for ever. I know them well

We will walk to the forum and show
ourselves to the people of Rome.

Still coughing?
We must do something about that.

- You haven't forgotten my statues?
- No.

- Herod, you're back.
- To bring you my congratulations.

Come, walk with me a while.
I want to talk to you.

There's no one in all Rome man enough
to strike him down like a dog?!

It's v-very difficult, Mother.
There are always guards.

Anyway, I've never killed
anyone before.

Besides, everyone believes
this madness can't last.

Either he'll recover his senses
or he'll die.

- Couldn't you poison his food?
- Mother! What am I, an assassin?

- A living god among us!
- And a goddess.

I saw that coming a long time ago.

To take a sister for a wife!
They will both rot in hell for it.

- I feel sorry for her.
- You would!

She's terrified of him,
so she p-plays up to him!

- I don't blame her.
- I'd kill myself first!

No one wants to die, Mother.

I saw Lentulus' face when it dawned
on him that the god wasn't joking.

He waited hoping Caligula
would forget it, but he didn't.

He sent Macro with some guards
to watch him while he opened his veins.

He got what he deserved!
You're all a pack of shameless cowards!

When Germanicus died,
there died the last of the Romans.

It's good to get away from Rome.

You're fortunate you don't
have to live in the palace.

- What goes on there at night...
- I have heard enough!

- Has he any money left?
- No, not much.

He gave a charioteer 20,000
gold pieces the other day

just for w=winning a race.

When the money runs out,
you'd all better watch out.

I'll see you both at supper.

- She's very upset.
- Well, what can I do?

I've got a mad nephew,
but I can't kill him.

What's the matter with us, Herod?

These are the children
of Germanicus. How could it happen?

You know what they say
about the tree of the Claudians?

It bears two kinds of fruit -
the sweet and the bad.

They?ve certainly
had a t-terrifying crop this seeson.

(CALIGULA) This isn't their house.

This is our house.

Yes.

We shall spend
most of our time here.

I'll build a bridge to connect it
to the palace.

I'll hold my audiences here.

Yes!

Look at him. Jove!

(BOTH LAUGH)

- Does he look like a god?
- An inferior god.

Yes. An inferior god.

Did you hear that?

You're not important enough
for this temple.

I beg your pardon?

Be careful what you say to me
or I'll have your face smashed in!

Well, speak up! I can't hear you.

Well, for now you may address me
as Zeus,

for in power he is the nearest
who approaches me.

You were created by the old Romans
in his image, but you're nothing.

Nothing, do you hear me?

And this is Hera...

out of whom the Romans created you!

(DRUSILLA) We shall move you both
to an annexe.

You've been here far too long.

This is the temple
in which I have chosen

to bear the child of Zeus!

A child?

Mine?

The child of Zeus.

To rule the universe.

Tell her.

Tell her what it's like
to be loved by Zeus.

Tell her.

It was like the sun bursting
in my veins.

It was like a shooting star!

It was as if all the lights in the universe
blazed at once in my womb!

And a new universe was born.

- But you promised they?d be ready!
- Don't get excited.

I said I'd do my best, that's all

They must be ready
for the ceremony tomorrow.

- Nero's ready.
- One's no good, you idiot!

- There's no need to be offensive.
- I'll have you thrown out of the city!

The marble didn't arrive till last weak
and my best sculptor's sick.

- The marble was here last time!
- It was? There was a crack in it.

You used it for somebody else!

I swear we never used it
for anyone else.

- Take Nero. Drusus will be a week.
- You can keep it.

You've got me
into a great deal of trouble.

Keep it? What am I going to do
with a statue of Nero?

You can stick it! And you know
where you can stick it!

I'll see you in the courts
for breach of contract!

You'll sue me? I'll sue you!
I'll sue you for damages.

For misrepresentation. For fraud.

You'll be hearing from my lawyers!

(CRASH!)
I'll charge you for that too!

Caesar, there's something
you should know.

- Can you hear it?
- Hear what?

Gemellus coughing.

Can't you hear it?

N-no.

Oh, what it is to have the senses
of a god. I can hear everything.

Even a leaf falling
on the other side of the world.

Sometimes it's unbearable
to hear so much.

Can't you hear anything?

N-not a thing.

He was coughing all the way through
dinner. Why weren't you at dinner?

I f-fell asleep.

He was coughing all the way
through dinner.

Even from his room at the far side
of the palace, I could hear him.

No one else could. Not even Hera.

Hera?

Oh, yes, Hera.

No, I don't think
she would have heard him.

It's stopped.

Oh, I'm glad.

Yes. You wanted
to tell me something?

Y-yes. It's about the s-statues.

Yes, I wanted to talk to you
about that. You've noticed too?

Noticed what?

Well, that none of the statues
of the gods in Rome look like me.

I can't have that.

I want you to collect
the statues of the gods in Rome

and replace their heads
with one of my own.

- Your own?
- Yes. And Hera's too.

You can put her head
on the statue of Venus.

Isn't she beautiful?

And she's pregnant.
She carries my child in her womb.

The thought torments me.
What could it be like?

Could it be greater than Zeus himself?
Could it rule the universe?

The statues of N-Nero and D-Drusus

w=won't be ready for the ceremony.

What?

The statues of your b-brothers
won't be ready in time.

Won't be ready? !

- It's not my fault...
- You've bungled it!

You're an idiot! I was a fool
to have trusted you!

I've a good mind to have your throat cut.
In fact I'll do it now!

No! No! No!

- What is it? !
- Who is it?

Gemellus.

- I've cured his cough.
- Oh, no.

Oh, no!

And you're not Consul any more!
You are dismissed!

I'll find somebody else!

- Take it away. It looks horrible.
- Yes, Caesar.

Drusilla, wake up, please.

Please, Drusilla, my head!

Please.

No one can be greater than Zeus.

Not even the child of Zeus.

There weren't many at the funeral.
were there?

What did you expect?
Caligula denounced him as a traitor.

All the same, he was Tiberius'
grandson, and still only a boy.

How can people believe
such nonsense?

People will believe anything.

We're fortunate he didn't celebrate
the funeral with games.

I want to speak to Claudius alone.

Of course. I'll go.

Is there something wrong,
or has Gemellus' funeral upset you?

It was the funeral

- Goodbye, Herod.
- Goodbye.

- Are you going away somewhere?
- Yes.

At long last,
I'm going to join your father.

- What do you mean?
- I'm going to kill myself.

Don't start any nonsense.

- But you can't.
- Oh, yes, I can.

My life's my own.
It'll be a welcome release.

I've no wish to go on living
in this place.

You don't have to pretend
you'll miss me.

Of course I'll miss you.
You're my mother.

That's very dutiful. considering
I've never been very loving to you.

I'm sorry for that, but you've
always been a disappointment to me.

- Oh, don't say that...
- You see? Crying at your age.

- Well, why shouldn't I cry?
- There's no need.

Keep your tears for yourself,
you may need them. I shan't.

- Don't do it, please.
- My mind is made up.

I don't want to stay here any more.

I was born into a world of people.
It's become a kennel of mad dogs.

I've seen my splendid son,
Germanicus, murdered,

and my grandsons,
Drusus, Nero, Gemellus.

My grand-daughters are degenerate,

and your sister, Livilla,
died by my own hand.

That was the worst.
I should have died then myself.

W-wait a while. Caligula's sick
in his mind. Sooner or later...

Rome is sick - sick to its heart.
He's just the rash she's come out in.

But he can't last f-forever.

No. And I daresay
you'll survive him.

You'd survive the Great Flood,
I know that now.

But I've no wish to.

I've stayed too long and it's good
manners to know when to leave.

You'll find all my affairs in order.

Pay my debts and be good to my slaves -
they?ve been very loyal

I shall go down to Antium and do it.

Come in five hours,
I shall be dead by then,

but wait till Briseis confirms it
in case you catch my dying breath.

I count on you
to pay me the last rites.

Remember to cut off my hand
for separate burial

for this will be suicide.
It'll be just like you to forget.

And Claudius... Claudius.

Please don't make a muddle
of the valedictory.

You may kiss me.

Oh, Mother.

(HE SOBS)

She's dead, Master. You can go in.

How was it?

Oh, so easy, Master.

When life so wants to escape,

it takes but the touch of the knife
on the vein to let it flow away.

She didn't cry out?

Only at the end.
I heard her call to your father.

"Drusus, Drusus," she said.
"Forgive me, forgive me."

Forgive me?

Perhaps for keeping him waiting
for so long.

I've taken her out of the bath.
She's covered with a sheet.

You can go and see her now.

Yes. Yes. I'll come in a m-minute.

Don't be surd, Master.

She wanted to go. It was no effort.

Calm as you like, and brave.

Well, she was Mark Antony's daughter
and Octavia's. You'd expect that.

I've cut off her hand
for separate burial

Why did you do it?

She asked me to, Master.

Perhaps she thought
it might slip your mind.

Zeus!

Zeus!

My husband! Where are you?

Oh, you're not Zeus.

You're not my husband, Zeus.

You're just my silly old
Uncle C-C-Claudius.

It was your grandmother's funeral today.
Couldn't you have attended?

Gods don't attend funerals.

You're drunk.

No.

My husband found this wonderful
potion which we take.

It makes you feel as if
you're riding through the air!

Have you seen him - my husband?
He's hiding.

Do you mean your b-brother?

Yes. My brother.

My divine potent brother.

Potent.

Do you know he's to be a father?

Hera is with child by Zeus.

Or Metis or Diana.

Sometimes I'm one, sometimes I'm
the other. He gets a bit confused.

Why do you play up to him like this?

Why do you? You play the clown,
I play the goddess.

You're disgusting!

You wouldn't dare say that to him.

You're afraid.
Well, we're all afraid - even he is.

Do you know what he's afraid of?

This.

He's afraid it will be more powerful
than he is and rule the heavens.

Now I have something he's afraid of.

Zeus!

Zeus!

Where are you? Zeus!

Zeus, my treasure?
Are you in there?

Zeus!

Ah!

Oh, you frightened me.

Oh, it's magnificent.

It'll tickle a bit.

Why are you hiding in here?

I wanted you to find me in here.

You see, I've altered my whole room.

Olympus.

We gods like to live
on mountain tops

and while I live in this palace,
this reminds me of my real home.

And what's this?

A chariot to draw you
up to the clouds.

Drink this.

Oh, I think I've drunk enough.
Is it the same?

It's the same. We gods drink it
before we perform a miracle.

Drink it. Drink. Drink. Drink.

You know I love you?

More than anything
in the whole world?

Let me show you how you'll
be drawn up into Olympus.

You see...

Golden bracelets to help you.

To help you...

ride.

Shall we ride together?

Who am I?

Zeus, Lord of Heaven, my husband.

- Who are you?
- The Queen of Heaven, your wife.

- Do you trust me?
- Oh, utterly, my lover, my lord.

- There'll be no pain, I promise.
- Pain?

Why, what do you want to do,
my angel?

You know I can resist you nothing.

What are you doing?

What do you want to do?

Oh, tell the Queen of Heaven
what her lord and master wants.

I must draw the child
from the Queen of Heaven's womb

and swallow it whole, so a new child
may grow out of the head of Zeus.

Oh, yes, darling. Draw it out.

Let Zeus take the child and...

Oh, let's go to bed.

Your queen's very sleepy.

What's that?
What are you going to do?

There'll be no pain, I know it.

Pain? But why should...?

(HOOFBEATS)

Caligula?

We are immortal gods!

(BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAMING)

(BANGING)

(SCREAMING STOPS)

(BOLT CLICKS)

Don't go in there.

Don't go in there.