I, Claudius (1976): Season 1, Episode 12 - A God in Colchester - full transcript

Whilst Claudius is invading Britain Messalina is challenging the prostitute Scylla to see who can take the most partners, Messalina easily winning. She also takes the young senator Silius as her lover, forcing him to divorce his wife so that she can marry him whilst sending Claudius a divorce decree when he is away. She hopes that Rome will rally with her against her aging husband but she is mistaken as, on Claudius's return, he is informed of her treachery and she and Silius are executed. At the same time Claudius learns that Herod has died whilst also planning to overthrow him. However there is some good news - he has been proclaimed a god in Colchester in Britain.

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Does it hurt?

Of course it hurts.
Do you think I'm made of wood?


- I didn't mean to scratch so hard.
- And I'm on stage today.

No one will sea.
You'll have your clothes on.

I'm doing Ulysses and Circe.

When I'm washed up on the beach,
my dear, I'm naked to the waist.

- That's not in the play.
- It is when I perform it.

- Where are you going?
- To the theatre.

Stay here.

I have a performance to give.

You can give it here, just for me.

I've already performed for you.

Don't be insolent.

No, no, no. You shouldn't
hit my face. I am an actor.

And that's all you are.
Just remember that.

Why do I put up with you?

Because you're bored
and I make you laugh.

- Do you think I'm bored?
- Oh, unbelievably.

You would crack the universe open
if you could to sea what would happen.

Well, you may be right.

You ought to have accompanied
the Emperor on his invasion of Britain.

They say the men there are so savage

that the women live
in a permanent state of ecstasy.

I should have bean an actor
or a sculptor.

They never seam to get bored.

They have their art,
but what do I have?

You have your lovers.

- Oh, my lovers!
- Hmm.

When I make love, I reach for
something that men never dream of.

Oh. What's that?

I don't know.

But it's there -
always just out of reach.

Sometimes I feel as if I could take
on the whole of Rome in a night

and be no worse for it
in the morning.

Well, why don't you?

You'll mock me once too often
some day!

No, I'm not mocking you.
I'm serious.

We could stage the greatest night
of love the world has aver seen.

A tournament of sex. We could
challenge the Guild of Prostitutes

to provide a champion
to compote with you.

Who would last the longest?

The Interminable
versus the Inexhaustible!

You're mad!

There's no one
who could compote with me.

Oh, no?

What about that Sicilian woman?
What's her name? Scylla.

Don't underestimate her.

They say she boards a ship at Ostia,
works the whole crew,

then walks off steadier than them.

- Are you serious?
- Why not?

Why not? What a spectacle
it would make.

Two tidal waves of male passion
dashing their fury

against two timeless rock of love!

Who will be the first to yield?
Who will be the first to break?

Oh, why, it would be unprecedented.

Copulation on a cosmic scale

to set the universe ringing
to the cheers of the gods.

- Do you think I'd win?
- Who can tell?

That Sicilian woman, they say,
she's formidable.

But I am more so.

Now I know why I put up with you.

Bring on your Sicilian.

And let her look to her laurels.

They?ve taken 8,000 prisoners
and counted nearly 5,000 corpses.

Caractacus has fled Colchester.

Aulus has taken the Ninth Cavalry
in pursuit.

- And our losses?
- Oh, insignificant.

380 killed and 600 wounded.

Britain is almost subdued.
The Emperor's on his way home.


If he's on his way home,
it solves our problem.

- About Messalina?
- Yes.

It solves the problem
of whether we should write to him.

Whether we should tell him
is another matter.

Then it becomes the same problem
we had before he left.

(ALL SHOUT) Galla's Hair!

"The golden hair that Galla wears
is hers.

"Who would have thought it?

"She swears it's hers,
and true she swears

"For I know where she bought it!"

Oh, come, Mnester.

"You ask me how my farm can pay,
since little it will bear.

"It pays me thus - 'tis far away
and you are never there!"

The woman Scylla! President
of the Guild of Prostitutes!"


Permit me to introduce myself.

My name is Mnester. I am an actor.

Most people have heard of me.

My name is Scylla and I'm a whore.
Everybody's heard of me.

Allow me to introduce you
to the Lady Messalina.

Your challenger,
and the Emperor's wife.

This is Scylla the Sicilian
and anybody's wife.

- I am honoured.
- You are most welcome.

They said you were beautiful.
but they did you small justice.

You are most generous.

It was sporting of you
to accept the challenge.


I sea. There's no money in it?

You're here for the honour
and to defend your reputation.

Would you defend yours for nothing,

Lady, I'm a professional
I work for money.

The honour I gladly leave to you.

What impudence! She expects
to be paid, and in this company!

The difference between you and me,

is you're a snob and I'm not.

And the difference
between this great lady and myself

is that my work is her hobby.

My hobby happens to be gardening,
for which I don't expect to be paid.

You shall have your money.
Shall we say...?


Three gold pieces a head?

"A head" seams an odd way
to describe it.

Win or lose, of course?

- That seams satisfactory.
- Satisfactory?

You've never earned so much
in a year.

This Greek will drive me
to distraction.

- Nothing I say pleases him.
- Let us begin.

Which side of the bed do you proffer?

Left or right?

Lady, give me a support for my back,

and "Let the Games begin,"
as they say.

Let the Games begin!

Do you know what's going on
at the now palace?

The Emperor's wife is comparing
with a prostitute

to sea who can wear out
the most men!

Well, that is shocking.
I can hardly believe it.

I've had my suspicions for weeks,
but this is the final straw.

- Something must be done.
- Have you told anyone else?

- Only my immediate superior.
- Colonel Ruffrius?

- Yes.
- When did you discuss it?

A weak ago, before I had any proof.

And he advised you to wait
for the Emperor's return?

Yes, and I did wait,
but this is too much.

I think you must write
to the Emperor at once.

I don't think you can put
that sort of thing in a letter.

I sea.

Well, maybe you can't, but I can!


I think you have bean
immensely foolish.

- Are you threatening me?
- No.

But did you not know
that Colonel Ruffrius

was one of the Lady Messalina's
inner circle of friends?

If you have confided in him, he has
most certainly confided in her.

I'd say she's already applied to the
Emperor for your execution warrant.

My execution?

- Are you serious? On what grounds?
- Does it matter?


Emperors are very nervous when
they?re away, they?ll sign anything.

If I'm any judge, that warrant's
on its way back here now.

You mean...?

What are we to do? You must help me.
You must back me up. You must!

I will choose my own time to tell him,
not yours or anyone else's.

I have learned to tread very carefully
in a burning building.

What am I to do?

What can a dead man do?

Go and get buried.

"Then victory hath conceded bean!
The Queen is dead...

"Long live the Queen!"

(MESSALINA) Come back, you whore!
We're not finished.

She's inhuman.

Her insides must be
made out of old army boots.

The money. Where's my money?

Here, Lady, here.
Three gold pieces per head.

Will you take them
or shall I have them sent?

I'll take it.





We have re-established Britain
as a province of Rome

108 years
after the Divine Julius left it -

not very well secured.

It has again become p-part
of the Roman world.

When I left, Caractacus,
our principal enemy, was in f-full flight.

We had won a great victory.

(CLAUDIUS) A Roman Triumph
is seldom granted,

but they granted one to me.

Me - Claudius the Idiot,
the Stammerer, the Fool

But what life gives with one hand,
it takes back with the other.

I would gladly have foregone
my Triumph

for the tragedy
that was about to unfold.

Shortly before I left
for the invasion of Britain,

Marsus Vibius, my Governor of Syria

had written to me
giving me the startling news

that my old friend Herod Agrippa
was fortifying Jerusalem.

I had hastily written
to Marsus Vibius

asking him to find out more

and report to me personally
on my return.

D-do you think
this is directed against us?

Yes, Caesar. But there's more.

I learned he was organising
a secret meeting with neighbouring kings.

He is plotting a revolt
against Rome.

- But why? Why?
- Do his motives matter?

Well, they do to me.

I'll tell you something, Marsus.

Before I left, I had a letter
from Herod's uncle, Antipas.

It was full of gossip, as usual.

but, during it,
he said that he was convinced

Herod believed himself
to be this Jewish Messiah

whose coming has bean prophesied.

Yes. Well, others
have thought that too.

Your nephew Caligula for one.

- Yes.
- Perhaps it was him.

No. Caligula filled the requirements
of the prophecy in many respects,

except he did not die in the year
foretold by T-Thrasyllus,

and Thrasyllus was never wrong
about dates.

When was this Messiah supposed
to die, according to Thrasyllus?

In the same year as my grandmother,

If the Messiah is already dead,
it can't be Herod Agrippa.

But Herod is a Jew. He wouldn't
believe anything Thrasyllus said.

Well, where does
all this speculation get us?

If he's planning a revolt
against Rome, does it matter why?

He's my dearest friend.

If he becomes my enemy,
I want to know why!

What do you know about the M-Messiah
in the literature of the Jews?

Very little, but I can find out
and make a report.

I have Jewish agents in Jerusalem.

- Am I interrupting?
- No, no, come in.

Marsus Vibius was just reporting
the very grave situation in J-Jerusalem.

We'll meat later and talk some more.

Caesar. Lady.

- Are you worried?
- Hm? Oh.

Hurt that my old friend should...
Well, there may be nothing in it.

I missed you so very much
while I was away. And the children.

I never rested properly
a single night thinking about you.

What would I do without you?

When you wrote to me about
the Q-Quintus Justus affair,

I thought, "Thank heavens
Messalina's taking care of things."

Well, do you want something

Only to say that if I slipped
into your room tonight,

would I find you alone in bed?

- M-my love...!
- Sh!

I'm not asking for details.

Only that I shouldn't find
the little Calpurnia in my place.

I know that she sometimes
visits you.

Well, she's an old f-friend.

I don't mind a bit.
It's very good for your health.

Oh, but sometimes I feel a great
desire to have your arms about me,

and I should hate to embarrass you.

Oh, come tonight, p-please.
I should be so grateful

Be alone then.


- There is one thing.
- Oh, anything.

I wish you would speak to Mnester.

He's got so big-headed lately
and insolent.

During your absence,
he was very rude to me -

making excuses for not putting on
some play that my friends wanted.

Couldn't you punish him yourself?

I didn't want to do that.

He's a great favourite
with the crowd

and they might have held that
against you.

I shall speak to him.

Just tell him
that when I ask him to do something,

he is to do it and not make a fuss.

I was her slave.

Is there anything so foolish
as an old man in love?

Well, I spoke to Mnester.

"Listen, little Greek, " I said.

"If the Lady Messalina
tells you to do anything,

"you will obey,,

"Anything?" he asked..

"Anything, " I said to him.

I played, as usual,
into Messalina's hands.

She had fallen manically in love
with Gaius Silius,

the Consul-Elect
and the handsomest man in Rome.

Knowing Mnester to be
on close terms with the family,

she had asked. him
to bring Silius to see her.

Mnester had refused
out of respect for Silius' wife.

Hence Messalina's complaints
to me.

Like a fool, I secured for her
what she most wanted.

He was not an easy victim
of her passion, but she was clever..

She did not talk at first of love,
but of politics.

Tiberius had executed his father
and she played, on that,

telling him that I was
more corrupt even than Tiberius

Before he realised it,
he was comforting her.

Before he realised it,
he was making love to her.

He was as much her abject slave
as I was.

Claudius, Claudius,
you go too fast.

Too fast.

More grave news
of the situation in Jerusalem

was hurried to me by Marsus
from his agent, Catalus.

Yes, but what exactly
is this M-Messiah?

A king, Caesar, who is to come
and redeem Israel of all its sins.

Philo, their greatest living scholar,

has declared that he must be
descended from King David

and born in a village called...


What? Bethlehem.

- B-Bethlehem?
- Yes.

In w=what year?

Well, opinions differ, as they
always will in events of this kind.

Have there bean any candidates

Not recently. The last one, I heard
from a Jew, died fifteen years ago.

- Fifteen?
- Yes.

Is that significant?

Who was this man?

His name was Joshua Bar-Joseph,
a native of Galilea.

He had a large following
amongst the uneducated

and used to preach to gatherings
by the lakeside.

He was also called Jesus
by the Greeks.

And was he born in...?

- Bethlehem?
- B-Bethlehem.

It's not precisely known. There was
some scandal concerning his birth.

A Greek was said to have seduced
his mother, who was a tapestry worker.

What happened to this Joshua?

He tried to form a new religion
out of Judaism,

but he lacked authority. He began
identifying himself as this Messiah.

He was executed as a heretic.

Do you know what King Herod
thought of him?

Not much, I imagine. He recently executed
one of his followers called James.

- He's looking for a Simon.
- He has followers?

Oh, yes, yes, yes. It's a cult.
There are always cults.

All this is most interesting
for you, Caesar,

with your fascination
for strange religions.

But what does it tell us
of Herod's intentions?

I will tell you, Pallas.

King Herod's mother was on her way
to Jerusalem for her lying-in

when she was overtaken by her pains
in a village.

King Herod was born there. The name
of the village was B-Bethlehem.

There is no doubt in my mind.

My friend Herod believes himself
to be this Messiah.

And worse - many others believe him
to be this Messiah.

His intentions are clear. On this
great wave of religious fanaticism,

he intends to free the east
from the dominion of Rome.

He intends to make w=war on us.
Marsus is right.

If we don't move quickly,
Herod will seize the Eastern Empire

and we shall lose Egypt.

My friend has become my enemy.

What are you doing with that?

The mistress told us
to take it down.

But why?

If there's a mark on it,
I'll have you whipped.

- Where is it going?
- Hurry up with it!

I'm giving it to someone
as a present.

- To Silius?
- Yes.

Iris! I want my hair dressed!

That was a present
from your husband.

I know that. Silius fell in love
with it, so I'm giving it to him.

- And if he finds that it's gone?
- He doesn't come here.

If he does, I'll tell him
I've put it somewhere else.

Have you taken leave of your senses?

Have your wits
deserted you entirely?

You have lavished gifts on that man
from all directions...

half of them from the palace.

Are you so much in love that you
have lost all sense of discretion?

Yes. I am in love.

But you've never imperilled
your life for it.

I shan't imperil my life.

All Rome knows that you visit him
openly at his house.

And take him gifts. His wife
complains bitterly about it.

He's divorcing his wife.

Divorcing her? For what reason?

For no other reason
than he loves me.

He'll need a better reason.

They?re not married in the strict form.
It requires a declaration.

But you are married!
You can't marry him.

So why is he divorcing his wife?

Because I can't bear him sharing
her bed when he gets out of mine!

I heard nothing.

Not a breath of the scandal that
was known to everyone else in Rome.

Even the slaves

They're laughing at me.

Still, after all these years..

still laughing at me.


(HEROD) Trust no one, my friend.
No one.

Yes, Caesar, dead.
Herod Agrippa is dead.


Tell me. Tell me what happened.

Well, he had come up from Jerusalem
to Caesarea

for the festival
in honour of your birthday.

But really to meat with the kings
with whom he'd formed his alliance?

Yes. Only Phoenician Tyre and Sidon
stood outside the alliance

and now they had decided to join.

Their formal submission was to be
made to Herod upon their arrival

Did Herod truly believe himself
to be this Messiah?

- This Anointed One?
- Oh, yes.

Yes. He had revealed himself
to the High Priests.

Now he was to reveal himself
to the nation.

Go on.

When he arrived in the amphitheatre,
the whole audience rose.

He was wearing a royal robe
of silver tissue

that flashed in the sun so brightly
that it tired the ayes to look at it.

The whole audience shouted,
"O King, live forever!"

But this was not enough
for the men of Tyre and Sidon.

They grovelled at his feat and said,
"We repent of our ingratitude!

"We sea now that you are superior
to mortal nature."

"Tyre and Sidon," he replied,
"you are forgiven."

And they answered,
"It is the voice of God!"

"Thou shalt have no other gods
but me."

Isn't that what the god
of the J-Jews has said?

Yes, Caesar, but evidently
Herod had forgotten that.

He was about to signal for the ram's
horn to be blown when he stopped.

An owl flew into the arena, which
had bean blinded by the sunlight.

It perched on this throne,
hooted five times, and then flew off.

An owl? Yes.

An owl was always an ill-omen
for Herod.

Well, he groaned.

He seamed to feel pains
in his chest,

for he cried out,
"I am ill Carry me out!"

They carried him out.

And the ram's horn never blew.

The crowd set up a wail

The festival was over
before it had begun.

And within five days, he was dead -

his body racked with pain

and rotted into an unrecognisable
mass of sores.

The kings departed
and the crowds went home.

The storm passed
without a single drop of rain.

And the Messiah?

Who, then, is this M-Messiah?

Who knows? Perhaps the Jews
must wait a little longer.


(HEROD) Marmoset, I am dying.

My body is full of maggots.

Forgive me.

Forgive your old friend
who loved you dearly

yet secretly plotted
to take the East away from you.

I have failed.
I played, too dangerous a game.

Little marmoset you are a fool,
but I envy you your folly..

Do not weep for me.
My punishment is just.

I offended against
the only living God.

Farewell, my friend, whom I love
more truly than you suppose.

Farewell, little marmoset,
my school fellow...

and trust no one.

No one.

Your dying friend, Herod Agrippa.

(CLAUDIUS) I was alone.

For the first time in my life,
I was alone.

They were all gone now,
those friends of my youth.

Germanicus Postumus, Castor,
Herod. All gone.

There was no one now I could
turn to except Messalina.

Yes she helped me.

How she helped me

She persuaded me to lot her
the duplicate of my seal

Say, "Fool, Claudius, fool!"

I know it I know it
But she was clever..

I also began this most strange
history of my life,

which you shall read and find,
I promise you.

Now you shall see how my ignorance
of my own domestic affairs ended.

I said I would tell all
and I shall

Her adultery with Silius had gone
so smoothly that she was bored.

Not with him,
but with their situation.

While he began to feel
that the longer it went on,

the greater the danger
of their being discovered.

- Divorce him?
- Why not?

And marry you?

Wouldn't you rather be my wife
than my mistress?

Your wife?

Oh, Gaius.
More than anything in the world.

But how?

Divorce is simple. You send someone
to your husband and tell him.

I know that. I meant
how would we do it and survive?

We have gone far enough
with concealment.

Sooner or later, he'll find out
and we'll be taken unprepared.

No. It's safer to stay as we are.

We can wait
until he dies of old age.

I am tired of waiting!

Gaius, don't you think
that I am tired of waiting too?

Oh, don't turn your back on me,

Nothing would please me more
than to be your wife

and belong to you entirely
for everyone to sea.

But we've made a long-term plan.
Let's keep to it.

Only innocent people
can afford long-term plans.

Well, I think of myself as innocent,
don't you?

- Are you innocent of adultery?
- What?

Of unbridled promiscuity?

Of taking bribes?

Of judicial murder?

- Gaius, what...?
- We are guilty!

Stop deluding yourself with these
childish notions. We are guilty.

And I don't care. I love you.

You are everything to me.
But guilt needs daring. Look at me!

I am ready to marry you and adopt
your children, to be at your side.

Your power will remain undiminished.

But we will never have any peace
of mind until we end this farce!

And if we marry - what then?

We have friends - powerful friends.

They share our danger and they
look to us for peace of mind.

If we marry, openly and publicly,

all Rome will sea
how Claudius is abandoned.

All Rome will sea the contempt
in which you hold him.

We'll declare a Republic
and people will flock to our cause.

- When?
- Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I go with him to Ostia
to examine the new harbour.

When you return, then?

No. Tomorrow.

Let him go on his own.

I'll have a headache.
He's used to my headaches.

While he dallies in Ostia,
we'll marry in Rome.

By the time he returns to the city,
it'll belong to us!

I went down to Ostia.

She was supposed to come with me
but she had one of her headache s

I was disappointed, but it was
too late to change my plans

By the time I arrived in Ostia
they were already married.

it will seem incredible I know,

that in a city where nothing
escapes notice or comment,

they could have felt themselves
so secure. And yet, they did.

And I was, perhaps, the only man
in Rome who knew nothing of it

Scandalous! It's scandalous!

While all of Rome trooped
into her bed, we said nothing.

We closed our ayes and said nothing.

But this is utterly
and unbearably different. This...

This puts the Emperor's life
in danger.

And if it puts his life
in danger, it puts ours.

That's a very different
bowl of fish.

Has she divorced him or not?

She sent a freedman
with her declaration to his chamber.

- But the Emperor wasn't here.
- She knew that!

Is the marriage bigamous or not?

Do you think she cares?!

Don't you sea? The marriage
is a public declaration

that the Emperor's wife
has abandoned him

as being too old, too corrupt
and too stupid to govern Rome.

That she has chosen the Consul-Elect
as her husband

is a clear indication
and an invitation to the Senate

to restore the Republic.

In view of Messalina's known
viciousness in getting her own way,

the Senate will put them both
at the head of it!


he must be told.
This time he must be told.

But how? He won't believe
a word said against her.

From the moment we tell him,
time is on her side, not ours.

Then from the moment we tell him,
we must keep her away from him.

We must ensure she never seas him.
Eliminate her without a hearing.

Yes, that's taken for granted.
But how do we tell him?

Whom will he most readily believe?

There is someone. Someone he trusts
who's bean his friend for years.

The little prostitute, Calpurnia.

Oh, Calpurnia. Now, what is this?

A note thrust into my hands?

"Grave danger to Rome.
Come to my house."

Well, I hope this isn't
some silly girlish prank.

You've quite alarmed me.

Especially as the ram I was
sacrificing in the temple

turned out to be the most
unpropitious b-beast I'd aver seen.

Its entrails were awful

Why are you trembling?
Now, what's the matter?

- Oh, Caesar!
- What's the matter?

Calpurnia, get up!
You know I hate people grovelling.

Oh, Caesar.

Will you please tell me
what you have to say?

I shall tell you
because nobody else dare tell you,

but when I do you will have me
tortured and flogged.

Calpurnia, dear as you are,
you're making me angry.

Do you still trust me?

In my life, I've trust three women -

my mother, Messalina and yourself.

Why must you include your wife
in that list? !

Messalina? I trust her with my life.

She has just married Gaius Silius

and the wedding party
is still going on in Rome!

Are you mad, or wicked or both?

They?re married. Your wife
and Silius. Everyone in Rome knows!

But I left her in bed
with a headache.

Now she's in bed with Silius!
Don't you understand? He's her lover!

I thought you knew.

Everyone assumed you knew.

Else why have you slept apart
all this time?

I wouldn't have told you even now,
but they?re married.

And I've seen the wedding party.

How? You haven't bean to Rome!

Yes, I've bean.

Narcissus came and fetched me.
I've bean to Rome today.

The garden of the palace is
decorated with vine leaves and ivy

and bunches of grapes,
wine vats and presses.

They?re all dancing about
like wine-soaked gods!

I don't believe you!
I refuse to believe you!


(MAN) It's true, Caesar.

Every word she says is true.

Caesar, how else
could you have bean told?

When have you bean prepared...?

When have you listened to any
criticism of your wife's excesses?

What are you talking about? !


her adulteries are as numberless
as the sands on the shore.

And that is no figure of speech!

When you were away in Britain,
she competed with a prostitute

to sea who could wear out
the most lovers in a day.

Half of Rome saw it!

If you've any doubt about Silius,
go to his house.

It will seam like home to you.

Your expensive furniture is there -
paintings, tapestries, statues.

Even Imperial slaves.

But that is nothing.

Do you know you are divorced?

Nation and Senate have witnessed
her wedding to Silius.

Act now, or her new husband
controls Rome.

I can't believe it.

My dear, you must.

And you must act quickly or you'll
be condemning us all to death.

She's right, Caesar. We must return
to Rome and arrest them at once.

But am I s-still Emperor?

Some officers of the guard
may have bean seduced,

but the soldiers are devoted to you,
I'm certain.

Yes. Arrest them.

Hurry back to Rome
and arrest them all


- Mnester?
- Yes?

- What do you sea?
- A cloud in the shape of Claudius,

rising over Ostia.

- Is he drifting this way?
- He was.

But he just farted
and blew himself out to sea.

Out of the way!

Gaius, help me up.

What do you sea now?

A troop of guards climbing the hill

Splendid! Wave them in
and give them wine.

I think not, Gaius Silius.

Their swords are drawn - every one.

The guards! The guards!

The guards are coming!

The guards are coming to arrest us!

The Emperor's in Rome!

They?re arresting everybody!
Run! Run!

- Where is the Emperor?
- In his study.

We've arrested nearly 200 people.
Lady Messalina has not bean found.

She is not to be allowed to sea
the Emperor without first consulting me.

Where is he? Where is my husband?

He doesn't wish to sea you.

Out of my way, you Greek!

You dare stand between me
and my husband?

Which husband, you whore? Which one?

Out of my way! Get out of my way!

- Let me go! Let me go!
- Get her out of here!

Let me sea him! Claudius!

How dare you stop her!

She is the Emperor's wife
and the mother of his children.

But is he the father?

Who knows whose litter they are.

Liar! Liar!

Here's a list of your adulteries.
Do you want to read it? Hundreds!

And you call her a mother?

Take her home and let her wait.


No! Mother!



Arrests have bean made
all over the city.

Silius has bean taken. Thank heaven
most of the guard proved loyal

Poor woman.

Whatever made her d-do such things?

How unhappy she must have b-bean.

You must sign these, Caesar.

They?re the charge sheets.
They need your signature urgently.

Sleep, Caesar, sleep.
You need your rest.

Save yourself for Rome.

Geta. Here's the warrant
for her execution. Hurry.

- And offer her the dagger first.
- No.

If she takes her own life,

it will save us having to show him
the warrant in the morning.

Take it to the palace.
Tell no one that you have it.

Only that you want
to sea your father. Hurry.

When he reads it,
he'll forgive your mother, you'll sea.

Hurry. Hurry.

He must sea me, he must.

Oh, how could you, child?
How could you?

Is that all you can say?

Why don't you do something?

Why don't you sea him on your own?


He's coming.

He's coming to sea me.


What do you want?

Your life, Lady.
Your husband's orders.


- He wouldn't do that. My husband...
- Read it! It has his signature.

I'm to offer you the dagger first,
if you'll have it.

And then to cut off your pretty head
and put it on a spear.



Not my head! Not my head!

Child, child!

Your life is done.

Take the dagger and use it.

Don't let them take my head.




He wouldn't do that.

Not Claudius.

Use it. Use it quickly.

I can't. I can't.

Not my head! Not my...!

I'll sea my w=wife now.

She was executed last night
at your orders, Caesar.

Here is the warrant.

There is a despatch from Britain,

The temple that was to be dedicated
to the God Augustus in Colchester

has bean dedicated instead to you.

Augustus means nothing
to the Britons,

but they?re more than happy
to worship you as a god.

Aulus Plautius regrets
having not first consulted you,

but feels sure that you understand
that it was politically correct.

The temple is known
as the Temple of the God Claudius.

edit and corrections by
moviesbyrizzo (incl re-sync for HD)