Hustle (2004–2012): Season 3, Episode 4 - A Bollywood Dream - full transcript

Albert identifies their next mark, Kulvinder Samar, a businessman with a love of Bollywood movies. Their play is quite simple: convince him to invest in their Bollywood movie and even offer him a part in the film. Samar is arrogant and runs a sweatshop so as far as they are concerned, he's an ideal target. The con is just a little too perfect however and he's soon on to them. Fate intervenes in the form of a car accident resulting in Samar losing his short-term memory. The con artists decide to just run the con over again - a little less perfect this time - but Samar has undergone a serious personality change and is no longer the smug SOB they set out to get.

So, Mr. Bruce, I assume you are
waiting to know if I will invest.

Well, I'd like to know if I'm
going to finish this film, yes.

I have looked into film finance and
I believe the correct terminology is

first recoupment plus 10%
of the adjusted gross.

Well, you drive
a hard bargain...

I'm not here to bargain
with you, Mr. Bruce.

These are my conditions.

So, you'll invest?

I will not be rushed.

I will enjoy my lunch, listen to
you all sucking up to me some more,

and give you my
decision in the morning.



A very enjoyable meal.

You'll have my final
answer by the morning.

I've never wanted to take someone's
money quite as badly as this.

An objectionable man.

Smile sweetly, boys.

It's all too perfect.

What was that?

I was saying it's
all too perfect.

That is what is
bothering me, ha?

I strive for perfection, you see,
but nothing is ever perfect,

apart from this fantastic situation
I have miraculously found myself in.

I don't get ya.

I admit you've done very well.

It's hard to pull off
a thing like this.



You're all con artists.

Thank you for doing this, Albert.

It really means a lot.

Listen, a good concierge
is hard to find.

Well, it's a different
world these days.

- Computers, key cards.
- I know.

Is everybody else getting younger,
or are we just getting older?

You ever thought of retiring?

Oh, heavens no.

Old grifters don't retire.

They just simply fade away,

and try to con their way
into the pearly gates.

We had some times,
though, didn't we?

Yes, we did.
We did indeed.

So what are you going to
do with yourself, Harold?

My wife and I were talking
of moving to benidorm.

Marvelous!

We put a few pounds aside,
mostly from you.

That and our pension
should see us in good stead.

Well, if you're ever
sitting a pub someday

and a likely looking mark walks in,

You've got my number, right?

That's a promise.

You know, Albert,

There's one man I wish
we'd really got to.

I have two sisters.
They work for him.

Pardon my language,
he's a bastard.

Kulvinder Samar.

So why didn't Harold ever
put him in a frame, then?

Well, he's based in bradford, but he
travels through London once a month.

He stays in one of those service
departments that Harold took care of.

He's going to be there
for two weeks this trip.

What does he do, albie?

Well, he runs a network
of small factories

making counterfeit designer clothes.

Look!

Are these bloody coffee stains?

No drinking! You are here to
bloody well work! Do you hear me?

Otherwise known as sweatshops.

I've seen some of those places.

I'll tell ya, you wouldn't
keep your dog in 'em.

Harold had two of his
sisters working there.

So where's he from, then, this Samar?

He was lured to the U.K. In the '80's,
where Thatcher's Britain

made it a perfect climate
for him to set up his factories.

How rich?

Very.

Well, that's a start, ain't it?

Okay, how do
we get to him?

Before he came to the U.K.,
he tried to become a bollywood actor.

His father put a stop to this, and
Samar took over the family business.

But his acting days filled him
with a passion for bollywood films,

so Harold says he spends every
weekend sitting in cinemas.

The angel scam.

Not very funny there, kids.

Last time we did the movie investor con,

- I got shot.
- Well, don't worry, Danny.

If anybody's gonna pull the trigger
this time, it'll be one of us.

Great, so we'll just keep
it in the family, yeah?

Are you sure the bollywood
thing is the way in, Albert?

I'd say so, yes.

Question.

Anybody notice that
none of us are asian?

He's got a point.

I mean, do we know anything
about bollywood films?

Well, not yet,
but we will.

A word of warning,
Samar is a perfectionist.

So if we do this,
it has to be perfect.

Well, perfect is
exactly how I like things.

Sorry, excuse me, sorry.

Excuse me, I found this in the
foyer. I thought it might be yours.

Oh, my goodness.

Thank you very much indeed.

Did you see this picture?

Yes, it's an extraordinary movie.

This guy's a bit of a control freak,
so I need the profit breakdowns

on the last half dozen
bollywood hits.

Names of actors,
directors, everything.

And I want it all when
Albert brings this guy in.

How's this video going?

Yeah, I'm just re-grading it
to look like film.

It's a wedding video
I got off me mate, Rocky.

You won't have more than four
or five minutes' worth, though.

Should be enough.

Bored, Danny?

Not much research needed
to be a chauffeur, is there?

Maybe you should
take up a hobby.

- Like what?
- Knitting.

- Gardening!
- Gardening?

Yes.

Danny, we don't have a garden.

No, but listen up.

My old nan, she had a little flat.

She used to have
loads of potted plants.

When we were little,
we used to help her.

And what would you
grow in these pots?

Herbs.

Don't laugh.

Herbs?

Okay...

flowers, then.

Listen, you won't be laughing, mate,
when you've got the sweet smell

of begonias and whatever
wafting through the place.

Begonias and whatever.

Yeah, he really knows
his stuff, doesn't he?

- All the technical terms.
- Oh, leave him alone.

I think it will be lovely.

You don't have to patronize me, stace.

All right, maybe a little
bit of patronizing...

What about the script?

Yeah, okay, it was a
lot of love stories,

boy meets girl, class differences,
family disapproves.

Basically, "romeo and
juliet" set in india.

Yeah, more or less.

Yeah, I've taken a script
about ten years old,

changed the character names,
locations and stuff.

I stick in a few new
scenes and bingo, yeah?

I saw one of them films once.

Yeah, I used to go out
with an indian bird.

Hah, crackin' bird.

Did this amazing thing with her--

We have a mark.

What's the matter with you, girl?

Don't you understand plain English?

Then listen.

I want the slipper delivered here.

Well, perhaps I should
contact your manager.

Let him know how
incompetent his staff are.

Make sure that you do.

Samar thinks I'm harry kaplan, a movie
investor who's been offered a script.

But I'm nervous because
it's a bollywood movie,

so he's agreed to look
at the script for me.

I told him the movie is in
mid-production and struggling for cash.

When he's read the script,
he wants to meet the producer.

Hello.

Gerard bruce, bruce
lightman productions.

We have a room booked
to screen some rushes.

No, you're not down here.

I must be.

I've only booked it
for a few minutes.

Maybe it's, uh, under
the name of the film.

"Ocean's 13".

"Ocean's 13"?

- Yeah, you've not heard of it?
- No.

Okay, well,
the Brad Pitt character.

Rusty Ryan.

- Oh, are you a fan?
- Oh, God, yeah!

Okay, well,
Rusty Ryan goes it alone.

The whole film is just Brad.

Fan-bloody-tastic.

Look, I know there must have
been some sort of mix-up,

But I've got a couple of producers
arriving in a few minutes,

and if you could let us use a room,
I'd be very grateful.

I-I could... call Brad.

Maybe you'd like to speak to him.

- Room two.
- Okay.

- Can I use this phone?
- Yeah.

Oh, God.

Speak.

Hi, Brad, it's Gerard.

Brad?

Yeah.
What's the weather like over there?

Mickey, I know it's you.
Get to the point, son, all right?

I'm trying to pot
me plants, all right?

No, no.
Brad.

Oh, I get it, right.

I gotta be Brad, yeah?

Just like that game where
you put a sticker on me head

and I have to guess
who I am? Is that it?

Yeah, that's right, that's right.

Listen, I've got
a huge fan of yours here.

Yeah, she absolutely
loved you in "ocean's 11."

Brad.
"Ocean's 11."

Brad Pitt maybe?

Yeah, I know.

Am I Brad Pitt maybe?

That's right.

Yeah, so, look, as a favor to me,
would you mind, uh, having a chat?

- No.
- Yeah.

No, mick, don't put her on!
Mickey, don't! I can't do Brad Pitt!

He sounds like donald duck.

"Hi, how ya doin'?"

Hello?

Hi.

How ya doin'?

I'm fine.

What's your name, baby?

Alice.

Do you know my
mother's name is--

It's Jane Pitt, yeah.

That's right!

Jane, but she had a dog called Alice.

Really?

I'm so happy to talk to you.

I've got so many questions to ask.

You-You have a lot of
questions to ask me?

Yeah.

Brad Pitt.

Baby, you can ask me
anything you want.

Well, I don't know. Maybe it's because
I haven't met the right man yet.

Gerard bruce, please.

Room two.

I'm talking to Brad Pitt!

No!

Brad, talk you like!

Brad!
I'm wearing pink ones.

Okay, put the lights on.

Gerard, I'd like to introduce
you to Mr. Kulvinder Samar.

Gerard Bruce.

So, Harry,
do we have a deal?

Well, as I tried to explain
to you on the phone,

Bollywood is not exactly my area.

But I've asked Mr. Samar to help advise
me because he's something of an expert.

There is very little
I don't know about bollywood,

Mr. Bruce, so I hope you're
not wasting my friend's time.

I never waste anyone's time, Mr. Samar.

My films make money.

And yet you have lost
one of your investors.

Yeah, well, I mentioned that one of
the backers had dropped out mid-shoot.

It happens.

Harry, I really need you to
come through for me on this one.

Otherwise, I'm gonna
have to slash the budget,

cut scenes from the third act
and lose two dance routines.

Oh, no, no.

A film is a thing of beauty, a story.

You can't chop it up like
it's a piece of chicken.

An indian film is almost spiritual.

It must have a beginning, a middle,
and an end all as strong as each other.

It must be perfect.

Yes, but perfect costs money.

Mr. Samar tells me unless
you have established stars,

Bollywood films very
rarely make money.

We are aiming this film
at the western market.

No one will have any
idea who these stars are.

So, Mr. Bruce, who would you
say is the bhatcha of bollywood?

Well, for me that would
have to be Shahrukh Khan.

And female?

I must confess a weakness
for Aishwarya Rai.

Ah, I see we have very similar tastes.

But this movie that you are shooting
is based in London with a western cast?

Well, mostly, yes, but I-
I think the key is to mix cultures.

I liked the script.

You liked the script?

Is there anything
you haven't told him?

Well, as I said, it's not my area.

Okay, okay, look, the deal
with the other investor

included a clause which
stipulated that his daughter

- got a part in the film.
- Now, I could give you that.

I don't have a daughter.

Well, I'm sure there are lots
of willing young starlets out there.

Harry,
it might get you laid.

Well, I don't think my wife
would approve of me getting laid.

This part you have offered,
has it been written?

- No, not yet.
- So it could be changed?

I guess so, why?

I was an actor.

And?

And I'm a very wealthy
man, Mr. Bruce.

If Mr. Kaplan decided not to invest,
perhaps I could consider it.

Are you serious?

Films are a great passion of mine.

Clearly, this is more
in your area than it is in mine,

and I'd be happy to have you
take it from here, if you want.

I would appreciate your advice.

Your experience in these
matters is far greater than mine.

How much do you need?

Well, we are 200,000 light
on a 1.6 million budget.

I'm very particular about the way
I do business, Mr. Bruce.

I would need to visit your set,
meet your star,

and look at your accounts.

No problem.

And I shall be in your film.

You see, Mr. Bruce,
the art of doing the perfect

business deal is to find
a man with limited options.

Have your accounts sent to me.

Ash, find me a film set.

Let's take this man's money.

That's it, you stay here,
where it's nice and warm, all right?

Daddy will come and feed you,
yes he will.

And you can grow nice
and big and flowery.

Yeah?
We can show those little piss-takers

that daddy is not a complete idiot.

Are you talking to yourself, Danny?

No.

Just talking to my seedlings.

Well, if it's good enough
for prince Charles, I suppose...

Exactly.

You know, this is a whole new
side of you I haven't seen before.

I quite like it.

What,
enough to get your kit off?

You just can't help yourself, can you?

Ignore her.
She's got issues.

He went for us giving
him a part in the film,

just like Albert said he would.

So, we're on.

Okay, so I've doctored the production
accounts and schedules, *

- Should do the trick.
- Great, great.

So, what's he like?

He's got this air about him
that everyone else is beneath him.

Unbelievable.

Tell me different roses there are?*

Go on, surprise us.

Thousands.

You can even make your own,
and you can name it yourself.

"Danny Blue rose."

I preferred it
when he was bored.

Wisteria can take up
to seven years to flower!

Really?

It's actually a member
of the pea family.

Danny, Danny,
we're in the middle of a con.

Could you please focus?

Yeah.
So, what's next, mick?

Well, if he buys these accounts,
he'll want to see a film set. Any joy?

Yeah, uh, Rocky and the lads have
just finished a Spanish prisoner scam.

They know some guys in the market.

The trouble is I haven't
got a camera or equipment.

I have faith in you.

Danny seems to have a lot of time
on his hands, he can get the limo.

What?

Limousine, Danny.
We have to do this properly.

Hey, lads.

Uh, didn't anyone tell you we
were brought over lunch today?

Since when?

Since half hour ago. The
caterer is down the block.

Now, I'll reckon you'll be lucky
if there is anything left by now.

Typical, always the last to know.
Cheers, mate.

All right, better get a move on.
We're only taking an hour, yeah?

Samar, good morning.

- Everything is ready?
- Yes, yes.

The cast and crew
are expecting you, so shall we?

All right, lads, set up over there,
quick as you can.

Right, everyone know
what they're doing, rock?

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

So who's the mark?

Well, he's a guy
called Kulvinder Samar.

Oh, sort of snide git?

Yeah, you know him?

I know people who work for him.
Two quid an hour and abuse on top.

Yeah, we'll give
him some back today.

Oh, listen, before I forget, have
you got me sister's wedding dvd?

- She's doing a nut.
- Oh, yeah, mate, it's in the car.

Okay, so I've got half a dozen grifters
moving around, the rest are civilians.

But they're sweet.
They think it's a real film shoot.

Top man.

Here comes your leading man.

Yeah, he good?

He's the only
actor I could find.

But he's got a star,
so don't anyone talk to him.

He's got a what?

Okay, people, let's go again,
I want energy this time, come on!

J.P., J.P., J.P.

One-One moment please.

Sorry, uh, Kulvinder Samar,
this is our director, J.P.

Hi, nice to meet you.

We're, we're just setting up
for the opening sequence.

This looks like a real indian market.

Yeah, well, that's,
that's the general idea.

Yeah, it's all very colorful.

Oh, J.P. is a perfectionist.

Can you mess those
cloth boards up a bit?

It's supposed to be a genuine
indian market. Thank you.

Of course, for a true bollywood
movie you would need an elephant.

Here's our star, Colette Silver.

While she's getting ready,
let me tell you about the setup.

This is the scene
where they first meet.

They spot each over a stall.

He hides, so he can watch her.

He's a street urchin, she's a princess,
so strictly out of bounds.

But he's consumed with love.

As she passes,
he takes his chance.

And he jump.*

Okay, first positions please.
Let's do it again.

So, Mr. Samar, Kulvinder.

Have you seen enough?

It would look better with an elephant.

I'll, uh, I'll talk to J.P.

Good.

So we'll discuss it over lunch.

Bring the woman.

Drop us off at
the restaurant.

Hey, find me an elephant.

Elephant?

Problem?

No.

Do you want African
or, uh, indian?

Indian.
I know that.

All right, lads, how was lunch?

- Oh, it was awful, mate.
- Yeah?

So I didn't miss it.

So ** the big ears * ?

It's African, ain't it?

I thought it was the indian.

No, it's definitely
African because I remember

from watching "tarzan"
when I was little.

So I want an elephant with little ears.

What's going on?

Mickey wants an elephant.

Well, it might pull on the lead
a bit when you take it for a walk.

Get us a beer, Ed, would ya?

Couldn't help us out, could ya?

No, you're right, I couldn't.

Come on, Ash, you're the fixer.

No, Mickey asked you, mate.

All right, well, do us a favor.

Give us a clue... where do I start?

Transport.

If you do find one, you'd have
to find a way of moving it, wouldn't ya?

Where in the bleeding hell
am I gonna find an elephant in London?

The zoo.

Funny enough, Eddie.
I don't figure they hire them out.

There's a circus on the heath.

Circus.

Please tell me he's not
really gonna nick an elephant.

Can I get you anything?

Yes, you can get me the "sir"
you dropped from that sentence.

Sorry. Can I get you anything, sir?

A bottle of pinot noir.
Chilled, no more than 61 degrees.

Sir.

So, Samar, how long
are you in London for?

Three or four days.

On business?

Yes.

You want me to share the details
of my business with you?

I'm just making conversation.

I work hard in the world
of commerce, Mr. Bruce,

Which allows me to indulge
in my love of beautiful things.

Indian cinema is one of those things,

and that is all you need
to concern yourself with.

So, miss Silver,
where did you train?

I studied at the film and
television institute in Pune.

Impressive.

Gerard tells me
that you're investing in our film.

Did he?

That was very presumptuous of him.

I said that it was a possibility.

You know, I was an actor once.

- Really?
- In my youth.

Why did you stop?

My father...
was a businessman.

I felt I should follow in his footsteps.

That's a pity.

Maybe we could've worked together.

Samar may be in our film.
The princess' uncle.

Oh, I didn't know I had one.

Well, the writers are
working on it right now,

but, see, your character
is an orphan and she has to go back

to her hometown to ask
her uncle for permission to marry.

Which, of course,
he does not to give.

Until the young boy proves himself.

So there are many lines?

Oh, yes.

So, Mr. Bruce, I assume you are
waiting to know if I will invest.

Well, I'd like to know if I'm
going to finish this film, yes.

I have looked into film
finance and I believe

the correct terminology is

first recoupment
plus 10% of the adjusted gross.

Well, you drive
a hard bargain...

I'm not here to bargain with you,
Mr. Bruce. These are my conditions.

So, you'll invest?

I will not be rushed.

I will enjoy my lunch,

listen to you all
sucking up to me some more,

and give you my
decision in the morning.

A very enjoyable meal.

You'll have my final
answer by the morning.

I've never wanted to take someone's
money quite as badly as this.

What an objectionable man.

Smile sweetly, boys.

Excuse me...

wallet?

J.P. Is a perfectionist.

Go mess those cloth boards up a bit.

It's supposed to be a genuine
indian market. Thank you.

Here's our star, Colette Silver.

I studied at the film and
television institute in Pune.

Okay, put the lights on.

I believe the
correct terminology

is first recoupment
plus 10% of the adjusted gross.

You drive a hard bargain, but...

it's all too perfect.

- What was that?
- I was saying it's all too perfect.

That is what is bothering me, ha?

I strive for perfection, you see,
but nothing is ever perfect,

apart from this fantastic situation
I have miraculously found myself in.

- I don't get ya.
- I admit you've done very well.

It's hard to pull off
a thing like this.

You're all con artists.

I'm not a hero,
I'm not a working class hero,

I'm just a regular guy.

Anybody would have dived
through that window screen.

And at that point my life was
going, but I found the strength,

a inner strength, to save the old lady.

And the kittens.

Ooh, my family are here.

I'll have that bed
bath later, Kimberly.

Thanks for listening, darling.

Bye.

Hello...

son.

Wasn't my fault.

Danny, you drove
into a stationary vehicle.

Yeah, that bit was my fault.

It wasn't my fault that Samar
has worked out we're con artists.

- Albert?
- Yes?

Samar is on to us.

- No, everything's fine.
- He may go to the police.

He won't,
he's got amnesia.

What?

I'm not a hero, I'm not a working
class hero, I'm just a regular guy.

I'll get the doctor, Mr. Samar.

Mr. Samar,
you're sitting up.

Doctor?

Yes, yes.

Oh, doctor, uh...

are you a relative?

No, no, no,
I'm a, uh...

I'm sorry,
excuse me, sorry.

A doctor with Mr. Samar's
private medical insurers.

Gold service.

Could I have a word with you?

What exactly
is the problem?

Retrograde, or short-term amnesia.

Yeah, go on.

Well, it's short-term memory loss.

I mean, he has no recollection

of new information he learned,
before the accident.

How close to the accident?

Well, the doctor said a couple of weeks.

- Brilliant.
- So he almost had us,

only he can't remember it.

Yeah, it appears so.

Although this is temporary amnesia.

I mean, his memory could
come back at any moment.

So that's it, then.

You know...
I hate to lose this one, Michael.

Yeah, me too.

You know, let's face it,
it's over, so let's cut and run.

Yeah, well, he deserves to be conned.

Albert's right--

Accident or not, Samar's
a nasty piece of work.

- So you don't like him.
- No.

Then, you're lettin' your emotions
get involved, ain't ya?

Third rule of the con--

Don't get involved personally.

No, no, no, that's the fourth rule.

- Then what's the third rule?
- Do you mind... I'm thinking.

We promised Harold we'd do it.

No.

Wait.

No one's ever done this.

- Oh, no, come on, steady, mate.
- Done what?

Played the same con
twice on the same mark.

Yeah, for a very good reason.

But think of it!

To be the first to
play a double con--

same pitch, same mark.

It's brilliant.

Well, it's genius if we can pull it off.

Well, if we can't do it, nobody can.

If we do this,
we have to condense it, right?

Like I said, if he gets
his memory back, we're knackered.

So we cut corners.

What we really have to do
is figure out how he guessed.

I mean,
what did we do wrong?

Ah, he did say something
before the crash.

Would you like
to share it with the group?

He said, "everything is too perfect."

Too perfect.

Well, you know, Michael,
you might take it as a compliment.

Well, that's it.

We pulled out
all the stops on this one.

That's what made him suspicious.

Yeah, yeah, we made
that whole thing too good to be true.

A man who strives for perfection

is the one person
who should know it doesn't exist.

So we do the con again,
but make things less perfect.

Yes.

Well, believe me, this will be the first
and last time I say this sentence.

Let's all do our jobs.

This time, try not
to be so... perfect.

Am I going home?

Yes.

You may recover some memory
if you're in familiar surroundings.

You're the doctor.

Yes, I am.

That'll do nicely.

Anything?

This is definitely my room.
I like beautiful things.

Well, it's a start.

I couldn't tell you what's
in any of the cupboards.

- Well, it's good, though.
- It is?

Yes, now you know you
appreciate beauty.

That means your long-term
memory is still intact.

It's just your short-Term
that's been damaged.

What does that mean?

Well, your short-term's what
you've learned most recently.

It hasn't been ingrained
on your mind yet.

That makes sense.

I can remember arriving
here... and factories.

I had to visit the factory.

I was on a buying trip.

Well, we can do things
to trigger your memory,

Make it come back more quickly.

Ah, your desk there--

See if there's
anything familiar there.

I know her.

Gerard Bruce.

I don't recognize it.

Bruce... seems familiar.

I think he's a film
producer, very successful.

Perhaps you were
working with him.

- Do you have any interest in films?
- Yes, I love films.

Well, let's give him a call and
see if we can fill in the gaps.

You know, I think I must have
made a mistake with my life.

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

In the hospital...

everyone had visitors,

Loved ones who were
worried about them.

No one was there for me.

Why was that?

Maybe we should
call this Gerard Bruce.

Go and meet him,
he might be a friend.

I think that's a very good idea.

What time is it in Malibu now?

Malibu...
it's eight hours earlier.

Oh, he probably
hasn't got up yet.

Room two.

Hello.

Hey, Alice.

Oh, Brad.

Tell me where you are.

Oh, I'm just having a
little coffee now, you know?

Looking out over the ocean,

Waves are crashing
against the rocks.

And, God, the sun
is so golden today.

Ah, that sounds beautiful.

Ah, it's really
beautiful, baby.

I wish I could be there with you.

So what are you wearing?

Well, uh, not very much.

You still got that little pink number?

At my house.

Ah, baby, you got
anything in black?

Okay, put the lights on.

Samar, how are you?

- Gerard?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I heard
about the accident, mate.

Have a seat, go on,
have a seat, take a weight off.

Stop it there, please.

So, uh, how you feeling?

A little strange...

- I'm sorry, I--
- You don't remember me.

No, not really,
it's the accident.

Think nothing of it.

You must be Samar's doctor,
we spoke on the phone.

Yes, yes, can I ask--

How recently did
you two meet?

Well, it was only a few days ago.
We had lunch yesterday, remember?

No,
it's my short-term memory.

I'm having trouble
remembering the last few days.

Okay, then let me get you up
to speed with where we were.

You had offered yourself
as an investor in our film.

It was only a small amount
but the yield should be relatively high.

I- love films.
- Yeah, we'd written you a part.

- I was an actor.
- Yeah,

you loved the script
and you agreed to invest.

- I did?
- 200,000 pounds.

I have that kind of money.

Now here's the scary part.

Now, we're in a bit of a rush,
so we need the cash.

I see.

Can I ask you
something, Mr. Bruce?

Yeah, of course.

Are we friends?

Sorry?

You and I, are we friends?

We only met a few days ago

So, um, yeah, I'd like to
think we're friends, yeah.

But only because
I have money?

- No, no, no.
- It doesn't matter.

I have agreed to invest,
I will get you your money.

Fantastic.

And I will be in your film.

Absolutely.

Can I see the set?

So I need cameras
in the limo again?

No, keep it simple,
remember last time.

Yeah, I've downgraded the web site.

Good.

So this is really going to work?

Well, he's already agreed to invest.

We just keep him on line
until we get the money.

It's strange, though.

Samar seems,
I don't know, different.

How so?

Well, less obnoxious.

I've found that.

Maybe he's forgot he's an asshole.

- Maybe--
- Yeah,

well right now
we got bigger things to worry about.

If Samar gets his memory back before
we do this, we're in serious trouble.

Hi, I thought you might like some
company on your visit to the set.

Yes, please come in.

I love movies, too.

You know, last night, doctor,
I had a dream about you.

- Did you?
- Yes.

But in the dream,
you were not a real doctor.

- Really?
- Really.

You see,
everything was a film set

And you were just an actor.

Like Dr. Kildare.

Well, the mind can do this,

mixes everything up
and tries to make sense of it.

I suppose so.
But it was so real.

The mind is a powerful thing.

Come.

Hey.

Samar.

- A good day to make movies.
- I hope so.

You don't mind if I join you?

No, no, of course
not, course not.

I thought we'd grab lunch
before we head to the film set.

Do I know you?

I picked you up
a few days ago, Mr. Samar.

Don't you remember?

No, sorry.

Please.

Well done, Danny.

Third.

Please tell me that is not
the lord mayor's flag on the top.

Mickey, I mean,
what do you take me for?

Stop.

Pull in, pull in.

This is my factory.

What do we do?

Wait here.

Samar?

All right, lads, same again.

We've got about an hour.

This is a nice place.

It's basic, but I've got
a budget to think of.

So, Mr. Bruce,
tell me more about your film.

Well, it's basically a
typical bollywood love story.

You know, shot in London
and with a western cast.

Interesting.

In fact, I've asked our star,

Colette Silver,
to join us here for lunch.

The photograph.

Sorry?

She signed a
photograph for me.

She's very beautiful.

Oh, yeah, she is.

What can I get you, gents?

Well, what do you got?

pies... we got pork,
steak and kidney, and eel.

All with mash and peas.

Could you give us another
minute please, waiter?

Are you all right, Kulvinder?

Yes, oh, I'm sorry.

Bits of this are coming back to me.

It's so hard to focus.

This film.

Do you have an elephant?

No, no, my budget
wouldn't allow it.

Pity, you should reconsider.

Well, the decision's
already been made, sorry.

Oh, yes, here's Colette now.

- Colette, you remember Kulvinder.
- Of course I do,

I heard
about your accident.

Please, please, sit.

And this is doctor...

uh, Monroe.

Just in case it affects your choice,

I've just had a word
with the chef and, eel's off.

Phone.

In the film you have an uncle.

- Yes.
- You need his permission to marry.

That's right.

That must be from my
short-term memory, doctor.

Ah, yes, yes.

Then it must be coming back.

What?

Eddie, Eddie, calm down.

All you need to do is pop
over to the flat, yeah,

Just give them a little bit of water,
not too much.

All right?
Okay.

And, you have to talk to them.

Talk to them,
Have you gone mad?

Eddie, Eddie, listen,
just, I don't know,

just tell them one of
your scouse stories.

They go on a bit, don't they?

So, Mr. Bruce.

How many songs?

11.

The songs are my favorite part.

I often fast forward
the dialogue bits.

Give me a brightly-Colored
dance scene any day, huh?

- I was an actor once.
- Really?

- No more.
- Oh, that's a pity.

You know, something
strange has happened.

What's that?

Since the accident,
everyone seems so familiar.

It's a feeling I haven't
known very much in my life.

A feeling of...

being amongst friends.

So where did you study
to become an actress?

Oh, I-I went to a very small school.
I doubt you would have heard of it.

Acting was my dream.

My father thought
I was wasting my life.

Let's just say that he
beat some sense into me.

But you--

You must follow your dream.

Don't let anyone take
that away from you.

I won't.

Because I have little
recollection of recent events

it has forced me to
look back over my life,

and last night I saw my whole life

stretching back to the point
at which I was...

forced to leave my dream
and join my father's business.

I fear that bitterness has
made me not a very nice man.

Oh, I'm sure that's not true.

But it is.

The factory we visited, those people?

They had such hate in their eyes.

Still, with friends around
him, a man can change, huh?

So, come, let us visit your set,

and I will arrange for the money
to finish your film.

Something about this
does not feel right.

No, do you think
he's playing with us?

I don't know.

Well, this is a hell
of a time to find out.

J.P.

Hi.

Listen, you want to stand by,
we're all ready.

Okay, I'll just go over my lines.

- J.P.
- Yeah.

Samar, I don't suppose you
remember our director, J.P.?

Sorry, no.

Oh, don't worry.

At least you've got an excuse.

I can never remember anyone's name
and I've not even been in an accident.

- And this is Dr. Monroe.
- How do you do?

Hi, how are you?

It appears that you might
have been here before.

Do you remember anything?

It's hard to say,

It all seems familiar, but,
I've been to a lot of markets.

- Where's your camera?
- It's on the roof,

we're getting the long shots first
before the main crew arrive tomorrow.

Right, number ones,
everybody, please!

Okay, everyone,
let's wrap this one up!

And action!

- What's he saying?
- Didn't hear a word.

Charity.

- I don't believe it.
- He was a perfect mark.

The old Samar one
was the perfect mark,

but this is a very different person.

So what do we do now?

Well, however we got him, we're about
to break our code and con a good man.

Well, Harold is a good man too.

I'm sure he'd rather have us
shame Samar and lose a few pounds.

It's not even a fair fight anymore.

Yes, what's next then,
mugging old ladies?

We can't do this.

- I agree.
- You are joking?

No, Danny, I'm not joking.

I mean, look at him.

He's sick.

You're giving up 200
grand and he's sick?

We walk away.

Cut!

Come, let's all go and
celebrate this wonderful film.

You too, my friend!

I'll-I'll just get this and
join you upstairs later. All right?

Yeah?
Bruce, yeah.

Well, when?

Everyone...

is everything all right?

No, I've got
something to tell you.

And I have something to tell you.

Just something
I remembered.

But, please, you go first.

Well it seems there's been a fire

at the processing lab
and all our film's gone up in smoke.

Tell me you're joking.

Well, we can reshoot
everything, can't we?

No, by the time the
insurance comes through

and we've got a new crew,
and we find new locations...

yeah, it'll take
two years, minimum.

I think we should just cut our losses.

Good thing you didn't invest, eh?

Yes, indeed.

So what were you going to tell me?

It doesn't matter.

So what'll you do?

First I will take care
of the people I have mistreated here.

Then I will sell my business
and go back to India,

to acting school.

Follow my dream.

Good for you.

Bye...

Bollywood princess.

You like plants?

Yeah... yeah, yeah,
just in a small way.

Then you must take it with you.

Nah, I can't.

Please, I can't take it with me.

It's an orchid,
it's very rare.

A thing of great beauty,

it's called a lady slipper.

You see how the petals are
completely symmetrical?

Perfect.

I waited a long time
to own one of those,

but it doesn't seem
so important now.

Please, take it.

Thank you.

I suggest you make it an early night.

Doctor's orders?

You know, I'm glad we didn't
double con him, nice bloke.

Well, you've changed your tune.

Listen, if he can turn
over a new leaf, so can I.

Bump on the head must have
had more impact than we thought.

So all's well
that ends well.

Except we're out of pocket.

Then you better
find us a new mark.

Let's have another drink.

There you are.

I'm gonna get off home.

Get this little baby to bed.

Introduce her to the others.

Okay, so now you're
officially freaking me out.

Go on, stay and have another.

No, all right, son, bit knackered.

See you later.

Hey, Danny, you forgot
your... magazine.

Am I hearing things
or did Danny Blue just leave

a bar early to go
check his plant room?

Look, a picture of Danny's
orchid, the lady slipper.

I'm surprised he doesn't cut it out,
stick it by his bed.

It won't last, this is Danny
we're talking about, remember?

The perfect orchid.

One was sold at Christie's last week.

For 30,000.

Oi, taxi!

Oh, you plonker.

Danny.

We saw the magazine, Danny.

It's mine, he gave it to me, didn't he?

30 grand, you dodgy git!

Well, you ain't taking the piss
about me gardening now, are you?

Mayfair, please.

No, you had your chance!

This is very silly, Danny...