Hunter (1984–1991): Season 7, Episode 21 - Ex Marks the Spot - full transcript
A series of cleaning store robberies exposes the chain's owner as the decoy for a money laundering conspiracy and causes suspicion from his very dangerous partners.
OK, OK.
Enough of this.
Let's get on with it.
Playback.
Action.
If your clothes are
rumpled, worn, and dingy
Dingy.
If you're frugal,
thrifty, cheap, or stingy.
Stingy.
Bring your clothes
if they're spotted,
soiled, or oily.
Cut.
Cut!
What are you doing?
We're doing our routine.
Not on my commercial
do you do your routine.
Do it on your commercial.
Our own commercial?
We don't have anything to sell.
We'll talk about that later.
Now let's move it.
Time is money.
Oh, you mean we're
getting paid for this?
Did I say that?
Did anybody hear me say that?
I never said that.
Did you say
that? I didn't say it.
Who said it?
Who said it?
No.
Come on.
Move it.
Move it.
Let's go.
Go, go, go.
Come on.
Let's go.
Action.
If your clothes are
rumpled, worn, and dingy
Dingy.
If you're frugal,
thrifty, cheap, or stingy
Stingy.
Bring your clothes
if they're spotted,
soiled, or oily.
Right in here you'll
be treated royally.
Royally, royally, royally.
Treated royally.
And a 10% discount if
you mention my name.
Harold Schwan, King of Clean.
King of Sleaze is more like it.
Mmm.
At least you weren't
married to him.
True.
He just chased me around
the office eight hours a day.
Hmm, what about me?
He treated me like
I was his mistress.
You were his mistress.
Almost $7,000.
Not bad for a start.
Mmm.
I never thought robbing
a store would be so easy.
Luckily, Laura took the safe
combination when she quit.
Now Harold will probably
change the combinations
in all the stores.
No problem.
We'll just get new
combinations when
Schwany leaves the office today.
Let's see.
$7,000 per store
and um, seven stores.
That's uh
$49,000.
Right.
Which hardly makes
up for all the misery
that slime has caused us.
Like Al Pacino
says, "Don't get mad.
Get even."
Ready?
You bet.
OK.
Let's go.
OK.
You go up the side of the house.
I'm going to go
around toward the alley.
Federal officers.
Open up!
Freeze!
Running can be
bad for your health.
Get your hands up.
Get your hands up!
Against the wall.
Against the wall!
Spread your legs.
If you are still alive, put
both arms out that window.
Do it!
Come on, get up.
Turn around and shut up.
You're under arrest for the
sale of an illegal substance.
You have the right
to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will
be against you in a court of law.
All right.
It's clear.
Let's go.
Uh, excuse me.
Um, could you help me
find this room number.
I can't seem to find it.
Sure.
It's um, room 217.
I can't seem to
find it anywhere.
217 is
Um.
Oh, you're on the
third floor right now.
You want the second floor.
On the lefthand side,
there's a stairway.
Take it down to the second floor
Excuse me.
It should be right
Where is he?
He's not here, Mrs. Schwan.
Ex Mrs. Schwan.
Oh, you mean the
King of Clean Schwan?
That's who I'm looking for.
My check didn't come this month.
Where is he?
Is he around?
Left it right in
front of my house.
And what am I supposed
to do about my garden?
My roses
A flagpole!
Who are you?
Laura?
What are doing in there?
Hi, Barbara.
Uh, Laura, I don't think you
should be in Mr. Schwan's
private office now that you
don't work for him anymore.
It's OK.
He wouldn't mind.
Oh uh, do you want to leave
a message for Mr. Schwan?
Don't bother.
It'll just upset him.
Thanks, Barbara.
Thanks, Barbara.
You're welcome.
No, no, no.
Come on.
You know as well as I do
that as assistant platoon leader,
you're required
to make the rating
reports every six months.
Now get of my back.
Can you believe the rating
reports are due again?
Boy, am I glad I'm not
assistant platoon leader.
Would you like to
practice on being one?
Sir, no sir.
I've got all the fun
I can handle, sir.
Your day's coming.
You know what I
hate about this rating
report time of the season?
All the men start doing
this perverted little fertility
dance of sucking up.
Yeah, that's what
they do, they suck up.
They want to do things for you.
They want to leave you gifts.
They give you flashlights.
You know last year,
I got 25 fruit baskets.
If I get another
fruit basket, I'm
having a sex change operation.
Yeah, it's rough at the top.
Let's go.
Did you see did
you see anything?
OK, here we go.
362434.
Oh, how sweet.
What?
Schwany used my
measurements as a combination.
Oh!
Oh, seems like
they had a good day.
Could be $9,000, $10,000.
And they say crime doesn't pay.
Hmm.
Little snack?
You mean that guy
on TV the King of Clean
with the crown and the bimbos?
Yes.
Harold Schwan is
your brother-in-law?
We all have our crosses to bear.
Now I want Hunter on this
case if you can spare him.
Well, he's in the middle
of the rating reports now.
Forget the rating reports.
You're under a lot
of pressure at home.
Charlie, Louise is very upset.
She stopped cooking dinners.
She stopped making the beds.
She's stopped everything.
Hunter.
These are caramel custards.
I think you're going to
you're going to like those.
Novak?
Those ratings
reports are all yours.
This is an absolutely
unbelievable.
$226,045?
That's a lot of money.
No cleaning store
makes that kind of money.
Look at these deposit slips.
Different amounts.
Different banks.
I don't understand.
This is a lot of money.
Harold has been
holding out on me.
You know it's going
to take a long time
to spend all this money.
I mean, this is a lot of money.
I know.
I know.
I like it.
I like it.
This is a lot of money.
That bastard.
Isn't there a safe
at your house?
If you came in to get your
pants cleaned, Hunter,
we're closed for the day.
Yeah, that's pretty funny, Tom.
How you been?
Fine, fine.
Hey, is it true Harold
Schwan is Commander
Clayton's brother-in-law?
Yep.
Commander ButtonedUp
related to the King of Clean.
Wait until the guys hear.
Well, I know I can count
on you to blab it around.
Oh, this is Wu Fong.
He manages the store.
Mr. Fong, how are you?
Excuse me, Tom.
Yeah, now Mr. Fong,
this is what you
found when you
came in this morning?
Have you seen anybody leaving?
Now what about last night
when you closed the place up?
You seen anybody hanging
around the front or the back?
Hey, are you
getting all this, Tom?
Oh, he's just a
little shaken up.
Oh, I see.
Now, they came
in through the roof,
dropped down on
the bags of cleaning.
Scuff marks on
the roof indicated
more than one burglar.
They came straight to the safe.
How you doing, Hunter?
Hey Linda, how you been?
I've been fine.
I heard Commander
Clayton put you on this one.
Isn't it amazing that
news spread so fast, Tom?
Yeah.
Um, they must have
know the combinations.
Opened it up and
took the money out.
How much was it?
According to
Mr. Schwan, $6,046.32.
He was here when
we arrived this morning.
Yeah, where is he right now?
Oh he had go someplace.
Said he'd be back later.
I see.
Well, I'll need to talk to him.
Yes, sir.
Well there's no
sign of vandalism.
Mr. Fong left a
portable radio here
and a very expensive briefcase.
They were here this morning.
Well, whoever came down
through that skylight was awful small.
Oh, I figure it was juveniles.
Juveniles, huh, Tom?
So what do you think, the
was deluged with sixyearolds?
I got to make a phone call.
See you later, Linda.
Byebye.
Mr. Fong?
I'd like to talk to Mr. Schwan.
Thank you.
RECEPTIONIST: Royal Court
Cleaners, Corporate Offices.
Yeah this is Sergeant
Hunter, LAPD.
I'd like to talk to Mr. Schwan.
If it's about those
parking tickets,
Mr. Schwan said the
check is in the mail.
Well, it's not about the
parking tickets, Miss.
It's uh it's about the
robbery at his store last night.
Oh, well he's out
right now, but he'll
be back later this afternoon.
OK.
Tell him Sergeant
Hunter from LAPD
called and I'll be
calling him back.
OK.
Thanks a lot.
Mr. Fong.
Thanks very much.
Appreciate it.
I don't like to be kept waiting.
I'm sorry Mr. Monks.
You're sorry?
I just lost a lot of
money. $220,000.
Terrible, terrible.
The crime in this city
is just just out of control.
Cut the crap, Schwan.
Right, Mr. Monks.
You know I got hurt too.
Some of that money they
stole was mine, you know.
This store had
$6,000 in the bag.
And change.
Every penny counts when
you're a low markup business.
Shut up.
I need that money you
were laundering, Schwan.
I know that, but I told
you, the store was robbed.
Maybe it was.
Maybe it wasn't.
Oh, Mr. Monks, come on.
I wouldn't do something
like that with your money.
What are you kidding?
Do you think I'm
I tell you what I think.
If I don't get my
money by tomorrow,
I'm going to have Breech
break every bone in your body.
Including pinkies and
every little vertebrae.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
I'll get your money back.
I'll borrow it from the bank.
In fact, I'll go right away.
You do that.
Good luck at the
bank, Your Highness.
Sergeant Hunter.
Barbara, how are you?
Fine.
If you need anything,
just let me know.
I'm fine, thanks.
Coffee?
Nope.
Oh, how about a snack?
A piece of fruit, hmm?
Nah.
Hey, what is this, Denny's?
Richard Schwan.
Pleasure.
Ah, come in.
Boy, am I glad to see you.
My brother-in-law told
me that you're the best.
Well, I have the highest regard
for the commander as well.
Well, let's forget
about him for now, huh?
I was the one that was robbed.
How you doing?
Did you find him yet?
Uh not, Mr. Schwan, but we will.
Ah, that's great.
Tell me, exactly how
much money did they get?
$6,425.32.
Ah, I see.
Now as I understand it, you
have what, five more stores?
Yeah my my old man left
me one store in Pacoima.
So I became the
Prince of Pacoima.
And today you're the king.
That's right.
I'm the king.
And now tell me, do the other
managers of your other stores,
do they have the
combinations to your safe?
Sergeant, I'm the only one.
It's a Harold Schwan
enterprise, and only
Harold Schwan has
the combinations.
And it's all locked up in there.
I see.
Now what about your secretary?
My secretary?
Yeah, you know, your secretary.
No, I I trust Barbara.
So therefore,
you're the only one
that has the combinations
to all the safes?
Sergeant, are you are you trying
to say to me that I
robbed my own stores?
Well, did you?
Police humor.
Well, we're just considering all
the possibilities, Mr. Schwan.
Well, Sergeant you better start
considering who ripped me off.
OK, look.
That'll be enough for now.
Let me ask you a question.
If I need to talk to you
again, will you be available?
Uh, yeah.
But right now I'm a little late.
I I hate to keep
my bankers waiting.
Uh, Mr. Schwan?
Why the bank?
When you lose a lot of money,
arrangements have to be made.
Aren't you covered by insurance?
Well uh, time.
It takes time to collect.
Oh, I see.
Thank you so much, Sergeant,
for everything you've done.
Really.
See he that he gets
everything he wants, huh?
Thanks a million, Sergeant.
Thanks Mr. Schwan for your time.
You won't believe
this, but there
are people who actually
don't like Schwanny.
Uh, you wouldn't happen
to have a list of those people,
would you?
Do you have a
big piece of paper?
I don't need this grief
I'm getting from Schwan.
I get enough being
in the meat business.
Everybody's on
this cholesterol kick.
Chicken, fish, fish, chicken.
If I ate like that,
I'd I'd look like him.
Well, what do think,
Digby, is this jerk
going to give me my money back?
I don't think so.
He's in debt up to his eyeballs.
The banks aren't
going to give him squat.
His sister won't let
him sell the business.
He's tapped city.
What's the matter?
You cold?
Yeah.
Can we get out of here?
I mean, why do we always
have to meet in here?
And I thought you
were my strongest guy.
You want a couple of steaks?
Uh, no thanks.
I don't eat red meat.
Can't have some schnook
out there saying he
ripped me off for $220,000.
Yeah?
Guess who?
Well, did you get the loan?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Looks good.
Oh there's a few
minor details, but we'll
ramrod right through them.
Now you take it easy, Harold.
I know you're trying.
And we're looking to work
with you as best we can.
I got a feeling
you would say that.
In fact, Mr. Monks,
you got a heart of gold.
A heart of gold.
Those are my exact words.
All right, we're going to try
to make some arrangements.
Maybe you can pay
this off in installments.
Installments?
I know plenty about those.
Listen, Digby
has all the details.
Why don't you, uh,
meet him tonight,
uh, at your store on Saticoy.
I know it's out of the way but
that way nobody'll bother you.
Saticoy?
The store on Saticoy?
OK well, we'll work it out.
About 10:30.
Heart of gold.
Platinum, pure platinum.
Yeah.
Meet Schwan?
To to what?
Kill him.
Yeah.
Oh sure.
OK ladies, right this way.
That's it.
There you go.
Right over there up against
the wall would be nice.
Thank you.
Just fill in here.
Have a seat anywhere.
Thanks.
Very good.
OK, if you'll just excuse me
one moment, I'll be right back.
Thanks.
You sure you know
what you're doing?
Of course I do.
I go in first, put
the bait, and leave.
You and Traci know what to say?
Yeah.
I think so.
Yeah, the amazing thing is
that everyone on his secretary's
list, everyone who
hated him is a woman.
Except Wu Fong.
But you know the real
crazy thing here is, Charlie?
Wu Fong's a woman?
No, well if he is, he's
the ugliest woman
either you and I have ever seen.
Now, the crazy
thing here is Charlie,
I've dated one of
these woman on this list.
Ladies, I want to thank you
very much for cooperating.
It's a big help to us.
Now, uh, would a Miss
Laura Rhodes step in, please?
Laura, you look great.
Thank you.
It's great to see you.
How have you been?
Fine.
Yes, fine.
Good.
Now what's this
business about you
having to go to a job interview?
Yes.
I have to be there now.
OK.
Uh, OK.
Why don't you go
now, we'll talk later.
Well, I thought we'd
get a bite later tonight.
A bite?
Yeah.
And talk about Harold.
Oh Harold, oh absolutely.
Good idea.
You know, I can't
believe you actually
work for Harold Schwan.
Oh, well, a girl has
to make a living.
But then I realized if that
was living, I'd rather be dead.
So you quit?
Uhhuh.
So, call me after 5:00.
After 5:00.
Same number.
Same number.
Yeah.
Good.
Miss Rhodes?
I want to thank you very much.
Well.
Wonder what that was all about?
I don't know.
Hunter says he knows one of
these gals from way back when.
Oh, really?
Well uh, yes.
Uh, Norma Lee?
Although I don't know for sure.
I try not to get involved in
my officers' personal affairs.
Interesting choice of words.
You did what?
You you know.
Your exwife, your
exsecretary, and your exyou
know what they told me
not to bother to tell you
they were here.
Forget about them.
Forgot about them.
You let them three in my office?
Well, no.
Just Laura.
Laura?
Yeah.
She thought you were
hiding in your office.
My office?
Did she get in my desk?
Well, how should I know?
Of course.
You still look fabulous.
What is your secret?
Good foundation cream.
And you still make me laugh.
You know, it's good to see
you haven't changed very much.
Oh, I don't know.
Some of the things we used
to do, I've stopped doing.
Oh no, that's too bad.
Let me ask you a question.
Did you uh, know
any, or were you
friendly with any of the
women that were there today?
No.
Why?
Oh, just curious.
Rick, I think I know
who robbed the stores.
Really, who?
Harold Schwan.
Now, why would you say that?
One, he lives way
above his means.
He spends money
faster than he makes it.
God knows where it comes from.
Two, he would rob the
pencils from a blind man
if he was sure the
guy wasn't faking
it which is what
Schwanny would do.
And three, the insurance
covers the loss to the business.
Well it's not exactly
hard evidence now, is it?
OK.
How about this?
The other night, the
night of the robbery,
I called him and he
was nowhere to be found.
Why'd you call him?
Why?
Yeah.
I just called him
because I wanted
to know if I left my
sunglasses at the office.
Oh, sunglasses.
Yeah.
Well it looks like I'd better
check in to Harold Schwan now,
shouldn't I?
Right.
You should.
Would you uh, care
for some dessert?
A dessert?
Sweet.
Satisfying.
I could use something like that.
And uh, you sir?
Oh, I think we're going
to have the check.
Hi, Linda.
Let me guess, broken
skylight more than one perp,
no fingerprints, right?
Yeah.
Plus one added attraction.
Oh, yeah.
The photographer's
already been here.
I think the ME
wagon's on its way.
Since you've been
on this case, Hunter
we've gone from
pennyante burglary to homicide.
What's going on?
I can appreciate your
concern, Commander,
but I'm on top of it.
I have a lead.
I've identified the dead
body as a one Francis Digby.
Now he was onetime
CPA, served time
in Folsom for embezzlement
Embezzlement?
He also has uh, known,
direct ties to the mob.
Ties to the mob?
What's a man like that
doing in Harold's store?
Well, I think it's safe to
say he wasn't there to rob
the safe.
What's that supposed to mean?
Well look, what it means
is I got to talk to Harold
one more time.
Harold?
You think Harold has something
to do with these burglaries?
You think he's involved with
embezzlement and the mob?
Well, I don't know about that?
Well, what do you know about?
Look, I think Laura
Rhodes is involved in this.
Who the hell is Laura Rhodes?
Well, Laura Rhodes is a
onetime employee of Harold's.
And uh, I think that
there's a lead there.
Well, let's get on it.
Go, go!
Yeah.
Hi.
Oh yeah, hi.
Where were you last night?
Oh, I was out getting a bite.
Well, I mean
actually I was working.
You know, the robbery
is now a homicide.
I called.
I kept getting your machine.
Oh yeah.
I got I got in late.
Oh?
You got home.
Well, that's something.
Oh, how are the
rating reports doing?
You dated that woman?
Hunter.
No, no look.
It was such a long,
long time ago, really.
You like that look.
What look?
That look.
That tall.
That statuesque.
That cheap.
Cheap, statuesque.
Statuesque.
Excuse me.
You know, that reminds me.
The Venus de Milo
was very statuesque.
The only difference
is she can't type.
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a second.
I want to talk to you.
Oh my gosh, Schwanny.
You look awful.
I'd invite you in, but I just
had the place fumegated.
Very funny.
Very funny.
I know what you've been doing.
We've been having a great
time since we're rid of you.
That's what we've been doing.
You've been
ripping off my stores.
You bagged over $200,000.
Whatever are you talking about?
Last night, they sent
a man to see me.
He wanted to kill me,
but it didn't work out.
He's dead now.
Oh my god.
I murdered a man.
I'm capable of doing anything.
I want my money.
Some people get sexy
when they're angry,
but not you, Harold.
Hey we're not
playing games here.
I'm warning you.
If you don't go away,
I'll call the police
and tell them about
your killer connection.
You asked for it.
Your days are numbered.
Oh my god.
This is it.
We got to turn ourselves in.
Come on.
Come on.
Get in the car.
Who is it?
Damn you, Harold.
I've had roaches that
were easier to get rid of.
I want you out
You're coming with me.
Harold, what are you doing?
What is that, a water gun?
I got it for you, Mr. Monks.
I I found the money.
You killed Digby.
It was an accident.
I bumped into him,
and the gun went off.
Besides, if I hadn't killed
him, he would've killed me.
Mr. Monks, let me
finish Digby's job.
No.
Right now I need the money
more than I need Dibgy.
What are we doing here?
Who are these people?
Hey.
Who are you?
She and the other
girls took the money.
Is that so?
Of course it's so.
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't.
Give it up, sweet cheeks.
Come on, you don't
believe Schwanny, do you?
To start with, break her arms.
Wait, I don't have the money.
Start with her right one.
If I had the money, I
would give it to you.
I like my arms.
Laura?
Laura?
Harold Schwan is
laundering money?
Yeah, over $200,000 distributed
to different banks
on different days.
Well, it's a cash
business retail store.
It's the perfect setup
for laundering money.
Yeah.
Commander Clayton
isn't going to like this.
Nope.
I guess you'll have to tell him.
Well, me tell him?
You tell him.
Me?
Yeah.
Me tell Commander Clayton
that his brother-in-law's
a criminal? Get serious.
Wait a minute.
No, no, no, no.
This is your case,
your evidence.
You tell him.
Be reasonable.
Harold Schwan might
be the King of Clean,
but I am the captain of
Metro and you are a sergeant.
That's right, and as a sergeant,
I will complete my
detail as assigned.
However, I got to find Laura
and that money, Captain.
I think she could
be the middle of this.
As a matter of fact, her
life may be in danger.
You go find Laura,
but you're still
going to have to tell Clayton.
Hello.
Who is this?
Who is this?
Never mind who this is.
Say hello to your girlfriend.
Ah!
I'm OK, I'm OK.
They're just trying to scare me.
Ah!
Scare her to death.
Oh god.
They have Laura.
Who has Laura?
Who are you?
Never mind.
Just get the money.
All of it.
And bring it 8 o'clock tonight
to Valley, Heart, and Stern.
My man will meet you there.
Your man?
Who's your man?
Don't worry about that.
He'll find you.
And if what's your
name, sweet cheeks?
It's Laura.
If you don't show
up, Laura's dead.
Wait.
Move that thing,
or I call the police.
I am the police.
It's him, it's him.
He is the police, remember?
That's right.
We're in a hurry, Sergeant.
If you have any
more questions, we'd
be glad to answer
them at another time.
Settle down, now.
I think Laura's life
may be in danger.
Have you seen her?
I'm looking for her.
What's in that bag?
Yeah.
That one.
Can I take a look?
Yeah, it's OK.
It's all right.
Oh.
We didn't do the homicide part.
Schwanny did it.
Look, where is Laura?
Some creep said that
he's going to kill her
if we don't give him this money.
We have to be at Valley,
Heart and Stern in 20 minutes,
give some guy this money
so they'll let Laura live.
You'll make it.
Hold it right there, LAPD.
Get your hands up.
A little bit more.
Now very slowly walk over here.
Now, where's the girl?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Don't be stupid.
Where is she?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
You don't know, huh?
Nope.
Stick your head in here
for a minute, will you?
Hey.
Ah, ah!
Where is she?
Where is she?
Star Wholesale
Meats on Jefferson.
Charlie?
I wasn't expecting back up.
R21's going to back us up.
I'm with you.
Did you talk to
Commander Clayton?
Yeah.
That's why I'm here.
Oh, good.
I'm sorry, Laura.
Beg your pardon?
You are?
I'm sorry you're in this mess.
But after all, I've been in
a mess all my life, wasn't I?
You really mean that, Schwanny?
I never thought you noticed.
I just want to get
out of this alive,
so I can apologize
to all the people I hurt.
And that includes
you, Mr. Monks.
If you could feel it in
your platinum heart.
Look Schwan, I get
my money, it'll be quick.
I don't get my
money, you're going
to have a long, painful time
to regret it before you die.
I'll have you know
that my brother-in-law
is a commander in the LAPD.
They'll never find your body.
I guess being in
this business, it's
easy to get rid of body parts.
Police!
Hold it right there.
Hold it right there, police!
Harold Schwan, right?
Oh yeah, you recognize
me from TV, huh?
Yeah.
Well, thanks for
what you're doing.
Hey, would you like an
autographed picture of me?
Tell you what, Harold.
You can give me two poses.
One like this and one like this.
Funny guy.
Oh, Clayton?
Could you do me a favor?
Sure Harold, what is it?
Listen, when Louise
comes on visiting days,
if she could bring
the camera, we
still could do the commercials.
Huh?
What do you think, Hunter?
Will I still look this
good when I get out?
Honey, if you use a
good foundation cream,
you'll be just fine.
I'm proud of my Metro officers.
Thanks, Commander.
Unfortunately, this thing
affected me personally.
Oh, good job on
those rating reports.
Well, thank you, Commander.
However, it wasn't necessary
to rate Sergeant Hunter.
Well, I like to do
a complete job.
Complete to say the least.
Was that was
that part true about
I'm sure it was.
Really?
We'll have to get together
and talk about that.
Excuse me, what part was that?
Yeah, we'll have to
get together for a bite.
I guess I really
did it this time?
You think I did it this time?
Nah.
Oy.
Enough of this.
Let's get on with it.
Playback.
Action.
If your clothes are
rumpled, worn, and dingy
Dingy.
If you're frugal,
thrifty, cheap, or stingy.
Stingy.
Bring your clothes
if they're spotted,
soiled, or oily.
Cut.
Cut!
What are you doing?
We're doing our routine.
Not on my commercial
do you do your routine.
Do it on your commercial.
Our own commercial?
We don't have anything to sell.
We'll talk about that later.
Now let's move it.
Time is money.
Oh, you mean we're
getting paid for this?
Did I say that?
Did anybody hear me say that?
I never said that.
Did you say
that? I didn't say it.
Who said it?
Who said it?
No.
Come on.
Move it.
Move it.
Let's go.
Go, go, go.
Come on.
Let's go.
Action.
If your clothes are
rumpled, worn, and dingy
Dingy.
If you're frugal,
thrifty, cheap, or stingy
Stingy.
Bring your clothes
if they're spotted,
soiled, or oily.
Right in here you'll
be treated royally.
Royally, royally, royally.
Treated royally.
And a 10% discount if
you mention my name.
Harold Schwan, King of Clean.
King of Sleaze is more like it.
Mmm.
At least you weren't
married to him.
True.
He just chased me around
the office eight hours a day.
Hmm, what about me?
He treated me like
I was his mistress.
You were his mistress.
Almost $7,000.
Not bad for a start.
Mmm.
I never thought robbing
a store would be so easy.
Luckily, Laura took the safe
combination when she quit.
Now Harold will probably
change the combinations
in all the stores.
No problem.
We'll just get new
combinations when
Schwany leaves the office today.
Let's see.
$7,000 per store
and um, seven stores.
That's uh
$49,000.
Right.
Which hardly makes
up for all the misery
that slime has caused us.
Like Al Pacino
says, "Don't get mad.
Get even."
Ready?
You bet.
OK.
Let's go.
OK.
You go up the side of the house.
I'm going to go
around toward the alley.
Federal officers.
Open up!
Freeze!
Running can be
bad for your health.
Get your hands up.
Get your hands up!
Against the wall.
Against the wall!
Spread your legs.
If you are still alive, put
both arms out that window.
Do it!
Come on, get up.
Turn around and shut up.
You're under arrest for the
sale of an illegal substance.
You have the right
to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will
be against you in a court of law.
All right.
It's clear.
Let's go.
Uh, excuse me.
Um, could you help me
find this room number.
I can't seem to find it.
Sure.
It's um, room 217.
I can't seem to
find it anywhere.
217 is
Um.
Oh, you're on the
third floor right now.
You want the second floor.
On the lefthand side,
there's a stairway.
Take it down to the second floor
Excuse me.
It should be right
Where is he?
He's not here, Mrs. Schwan.
Ex Mrs. Schwan.
Oh, you mean the
King of Clean Schwan?
That's who I'm looking for.
My check didn't come this month.
Where is he?
Is he around?
Left it right in
front of my house.
And what am I supposed
to do about my garden?
My roses
A flagpole!
Who are you?
Laura?
What are doing in there?
Hi, Barbara.
Uh, Laura, I don't think you
should be in Mr. Schwan's
private office now that you
don't work for him anymore.
It's OK.
He wouldn't mind.
Oh uh, do you want to leave
a message for Mr. Schwan?
Don't bother.
It'll just upset him.
Thanks, Barbara.
Thanks, Barbara.
You're welcome.
No, no, no.
Come on.
You know as well as I do
that as assistant platoon leader,
you're required
to make the rating
reports every six months.
Now get of my back.
Can you believe the rating
reports are due again?
Boy, am I glad I'm not
assistant platoon leader.
Would you like to
practice on being one?
Sir, no sir.
I've got all the fun
I can handle, sir.
Your day's coming.
You know what I
hate about this rating
report time of the season?
All the men start doing
this perverted little fertility
dance of sucking up.
Yeah, that's what
they do, they suck up.
They want to do things for you.
They want to leave you gifts.
They give you flashlights.
You know last year,
I got 25 fruit baskets.
If I get another
fruit basket, I'm
having a sex change operation.
Yeah, it's rough at the top.
Let's go.
Did you see did
you see anything?
OK, here we go.
362434.
Oh, how sweet.
What?
Schwany used my
measurements as a combination.
Oh!
Oh, seems like
they had a good day.
Could be $9,000, $10,000.
And they say crime doesn't pay.
Hmm.
Little snack?
You mean that guy
on TV the King of Clean
with the crown and the bimbos?
Yes.
Harold Schwan is
your brother-in-law?
We all have our crosses to bear.
Now I want Hunter on this
case if you can spare him.
Well, he's in the middle
of the rating reports now.
Forget the rating reports.
You're under a lot
of pressure at home.
Charlie, Louise is very upset.
She stopped cooking dinners.
She stopped making the beds.
She's stopped everything.
Hunter.
These are caramel custards.
I think you're going to
you're going to like those.
Novak?
Those ratings
reports are all yours.
This is an absolutely
unbelievable.
$226,045?
That's a lot of money.
No cleaning store
makes that kind of money.
Look at these deposit slips.
Different amounts.
Different banks.
I don't understand.
This is a lot of money.
Harold has been
holding out on me.
You know it's going
to take a long time
to spend all this money.
I mean, this is a lot of money.
I know.
I know.
I like it.
I like it.
This is a lot of money.
That bastard.
Isn't there a safe
at your house?
If you came in to get your
pants cleaned, Hunter,
we're closed for the day.
Yeah, that's pretty funny, Tom.
How you been?
Fine, fine.
Hey, is it true Harold
Schwan is Commander
Clayton's brother-in-law?
Yep.
Commander ButtonedUp
related to the King of Clean.
Wait until the guys hear.
Well, I know I can count
on you to blab it around.
Oh, this is Wu Fong.
He manages the store.
Mr. Fong, how are you?
Excuse me, Tom.
Yeah, now Mr. Fong,
this is what you
found when you
came in this morning?
Have you seen anybody leaving?
Now what about last night
when you closed the place up?
You seen anybody hanging
around the front or the back?
Hey, are you
getting all this, Tom?
Oh, he's just a
little shaken up.
Oh, I see.
Now, they came
in through the roof,
dropped down on
the bags of cleaning.
Scuff marks on
the roof indicated
more than one burglar.
They came straight to the safe.
How you doing, Hunter?
Hey Linda, how you been?
I've been fine.
I heard Commander
Clayton put you on this one.
Isn't it amazing that
news spread so fast, Tom?
Yeah.
Um, they must have
know the combinations.
Opened it up and
took the money out.
How much was it?
According to
Mr. Schwan, $6,046.32.
He was here when
we arrived this morning.
Yeah, where is he right now?
Oh he had go someplace.
Said he'd be back later.
I see.
Well, I'll need to talk to him.
Yes, sir.
Well there's no
sign of vandalism.
Mr. Fong left a
portable radio here
and a very expensive briefcase.
They were here this morning.
Well, whoever came down
through that skylight was awful small.
Oh, I figure it was juveniles.
Juveniles, huh, Tom?
So what do you think, the
was deluged with sixyearolds?
I got to make a phone call.
See you later, Linda.
Byebye.
Mr. Fong?
I'd like to talk to Mr. Schwan.
Thank you.
RECEPTIONIST: Royal Court
Cleaners, Corporate Offices.
Yeah this is Sergeant
Hunter, LAPD.
I'd like to talk to Mr. Schwan.
If it's about those
parking tickets,
Mr. Schwan said the
check is in the mail.
Well, it's not about the
parking tickets, Miss.
It's uh it's about the
robbery at his store last night.
Oh, well he's out
right now, but he'll
be back later this afternoon.
OK.
Tell him Sergeant
Hunter from LAPD
called and I'll be
calling him back.
OK.
Thanks a lot.
Mr. Fong.
Thanks very much.
Appreciate it.
I don't like to be kept waiting.
I'm sorry Mr. Monks.
You're sorry?
I just lost a lot of
money. $220,000.
Terrible, terrible.
The crime in this city
is just just out of control.
Cut the crap, Schwan.
Right, Mr. Monks.
You know I got hurt too.
Some of that money they
stole was mine, you know.
This store had
$6,000 in the bag.
And change.
Every penny counts when
you're a low markup business.
Shut up.
I need that money you
were laundering, Schwan.
I know that, but I told
you, the store was robbed.
Maybe it was.
Maybe it wasn't.
Oh, Mr. Monks, come on.
I wouldn't do something
like that with your money.
What are you kidding?
Do you think I'm
I tell you what I think.
If I don't get my
money by tomorrow,
I'm going to have Breech
break every bone in your body.
Including pinkies and
every little vertebrae.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
I'll get your money back.
I'll borrow it from the bank.
In fact, I'll go right away.
You do that.
Good luck at the
bank, Your Highness.
Sergeant Hunter.
Barbara, how are you?
Fine.
If you need anything,
just let me know.
I'm fine, thanks.
Coffee?
Nope.
Oh, how about a snack?
A piece of fruit, hmm?
Nah.
Hey, what is this, Denny's?
Richard Schwan.
Pleasure.
Ah, come in.
Boy, am I glad to see you.
My brother-in-law told
me that you're the best.
Well, I have the highest regard
for the commander as well.
Well, let's forget
about him for now, huh?
I was the one that was robbed.
How you doing?
Did you find him yet?
Uh not, Mr. Schwan, but we will.
Ah, that's great.
Tell me, exactly how
much money did they get?
$6,425.32.
Ah, I see.
Now as I understand it, you
have what, five more stores?
Yeah my my old man left
me one store in Pacoima.
So I became the
Prince of Pacoima.
And today you're the king.
That's right.
I'm the king.
And now tell me, do the other
managers of your other stores,
do they have the
combinations to your safe?
Sergeant, I'm the only one.
It's a Harold Schwan
enterprise, and only
Harold Schwan has
the combinations.
And it's all locked up in there.
I see.
Now what about your secretary?
My secretary?
Yeah, you know, your secretary.
No, I I trust Barbara.
So therefore,
you're the only one
that has the combinations
to all the safes?
Sergeant, are you are you trying
to say to me that I
robbed my own stores?
Well, did you?
Police humor.
Well, we're just considering all
the possibilities, Mr. Schwan.
Well, Sergeant you better start
considering who ripped me off.
OK, look.
That'll be enough for now.
Let me ask you a question.
If I need to talk to you
again, will you be available?
Uh, yeah.
But right now I'm a little late.
I I hate to keep
my bankers waiting.
Uh, Mr. Schwan?
Why the bank?
When you lose a lot of money,
arrangements have to be made.
Aren't you covered by insurance?
Well uh, time.
It takes time to collect.
Oh, I see.
Thank you so much, Sergeant,
for everything you've done.
Really.
See he that he gets
everything he wants, huh?
Thanks a million, Sergeant.
Thanks Mr. Schwan for your time.
You won't believe
this, but there
are people who actually
don't like Schwanny.
Uh, you wouldn't happen
to have a list of those people,
would you?
Do you have a
big piece of paper?
I don't need this grief
I'm getting from Schwan.
I get enough being
in the meat business.
Everybody's on
this cholesterol kick.
Chicken, fish, fish, chicken.
If I ate like that,
I'd I'd look like him.
Well, what do think,
Digby, is this jerk
going to give me my money back?
I don't think so.
He's in debt up to his eyeballs.
The banks aren't
going to give him squat.
His sister won't let
him sell the business.
He's tapped city.
What's the matter?
You cold?
Yeah.
Can we get out of here?
I mean, why do we always
have to meet in here?
And I thought you
were my strongest guy.
You want a couple of steaks?
Uh, no thanks.
I don't eat red meat.
Can't have some schnook
out there saying he
ripped me off for $220,000.
Yeah?
Guess who?
Well, did you get the loan?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Looks good.
Oh there's a few
minor details, but we'll
ramrod right through them.
Now you take it easy, Harold.
I know you're trying.
And we're looking to work
with you as best we can.
I got a feeling
you would say that.
In fact, Mr. Monks,
you got a heart of gold.
A heart of gold.
Those are my exact words.
All right, we're going to try
to make some arrangements.
Maybe you can pay
this off in installments.
Installments?
I know plenty about those.
Listen, Digby
has all the details.
Why don't you, uh,
meet him tonight,
uh, at your store on Saticoy.
I know it's out of the way but
that way nobody'll bother you.
Saticoy?
The store on Saticoy?
OK well, we'll work it out.
About 10:30.
Heart of gold.
Platinum, pure platinum.
Yeah.
Meet Schwan?
To to what?
Kill him.
Yeah.
Oh sure.
OK ladies, right this way.
That's it.
There you go.
Right over there up against
the wall would be nice.
Thank you.
Just fill in here.
Have a seat anywhere.
Thanks.
Very good.
OK, if you'll just excuse me
one moment, I'll be right back.
Thanks.
You sure you know
what you're doing?
Of course I do.
I go in first, put
the bait, and leave.
You and Traci know what to say?
Yeah.
I think so.
Yeah, the amazing thing is
that everyone on his secretary's
list, everyone who
hated him is a woman.
Except Wu Fong.
But you know the real
crazy thing here is, Charlie?
Wu Fong's a woman?
No, well if he is, he's
the ugliest woman
either you and I have ever seen.
Now, the crazy
thing here is Charlie,
I've dated one of
these woman on this list.
Ladies, I want to thank you
very much for cooperating.
It's a big help to us.
Now, uh, would a Miss
Laura Rhodes step in, please?
Laura, you look great.
Thank you.
It's great to see you.
How have you been?
Fine.
Yes, fine.
Good.
Now what's this
business about you
having to go to a job interview?
Yes.
I have to be there now.
OK.
Uh, OK.
Why don't you go
now, we'll talk later.
Well, I thought we'd
get a bite later tonight.
A bite?
Yeah.
And talk about Harold.
Oh Harold, oh absolutely.
Good idea.
You know, I can't
believe you actually
work for Harold Schwan.
Oh, well, a girl has
to make a living.
But then I realized if that
was living, I'd rather be dead.
So you quit?
Uhhuh.
So, call me after 5:00.
After 5:00.
Same number.
Same number.
Yeah.
Good.
Miss Rhodes?
I want to thank you very much.
Well.
Wonder what that was all about?
I don't know.
Hunter says he knows one of
these gals from way back when.
Oh, really?
Well uh, yes.
Uh, Norma Lee?
Although I don't know for sure.
I try not to get involved in
my officers' personal affairs.
Interesting choice of words.
You did what?
You you know.
Your exwife, your
exsecretary, and your exyou
know what they told me
not to bother to tell you
they were here.
Forget about them.
Forgot about them.
You let them three in my office?
Well, no.
Just Laura.
Laura?
Yeah.
She thought you were
hiding in your office.
My office?
Did she get in my desk?
Well, how should I know?
Of course.
You still look fabulous.
What is your secret?
Good foundation cream.
And you still make me laugh.
You know, it's good to see
you haven't changed very much.
Oh, I don't know.
Some of the things we used
to do, I've stopped doing.
Oh no, that's too bad.
Let me ask you a question.
Did you uh, know
any, or were you
friendly with any of the
women that were there today?
No.
Why?
Oh, just curious.
Rick, I think I know
who robbed the stores.
Really, who?
Harold Schwan.
Now, why would you say that?
One, he lives way
above his means.
He spends money
faster than he makes it.
God knows where it comes from.
Two, he would rob the
pencils from a blind man
if he was sure the
guy wasn't faking
it which is what
Schwanny would do.
And three, the insurance
covers the loss to the business.
Well it's not exactly
hard evidence now, is it?
OK.
How about this?
The other night, the
night of the robbery,
I called him and he
was nowhere to be found.
Why'd you call him?
Why?
Yeah.
I just called him
because I wanted
to know if I left my
sunglasses at the office.
Oh, sunglasses.
Yeah.
Well it looks like I'd better
check in to Harold Schwan now,
shouldn't I?
Right.
You should.
Would you uh, care
for some dessert?
A dessert?
Sweet.
Satisfying.
I could use something like that.
And uh, you sir?
Oh, I think we're going
to have the check.
Hi, Linda.
Let me guess, broken
skylight more than one perp,
no fingerprints, right?
Yeah.
Plus one added attraction.
Oh, yeah.
The photographer's
already been here.
I think the ME
wagon's on its way.
Since you've been
on this case, Hunter
we've gone from
pennyante burglary to homicide.
What's going on?
I can appreciate your
concern, Commander,
but I'm on top of it.
I have a lead.
I've identified the dead
body as a one Francis Digby.
Now he was onetime
CPA, served time
in Folsom for embezzlement
Embezzlement?
He also has uh, known,
direct ties to the mob.
Ties to the mob?
What's a man like that
doing in Harold's store?
Well, I think it's safe to
say he wasn't there to rob
the safe.
What's that supposed to mean?
Well look, what it means
is I got to talk to Harold
one more time.
Harold?
You think Harold has something
to do with these burglaries?
You think he's involved with
embezzlement and the mob?
Well, I don't know about that?
Well, what do you know about?
Look, I think Laura
Rhodes is involved in this.
Who the hell is Laura Rhodes?
Well, Laura Rhodes is a
onetime employee of Harold's.
And uh, I think that
there's a lead there.
Well, let's get on it.
Go, go!
Yeah.
Hi.
Oh yeah, hi.
Where were you last night?
Oh, I was out getting a bite.
Well, I mean
actually I was working.
You know, the robbery
is now a homicide.
I called.
I kept getting your machine.
Oh yeah.
I got I got in late.
Oh?
You got home.
Well, that's something.
Oh, how are the
rating reports doing?
You dated that woman?
Hunter.
No, no look.
It was such a long,
long time ago, really.
You like that look.
What look?
That look.
That tall.
That statuesque.
That cheap.
Cheap, statuesque.
Statuesque.
Excuse me.
You know, that reminds me.
The Venus de Milo
was very statuesque.
The only difference
is she can't type.
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a second.
I want to talk to you.
Oh my gosh, Schwanny.
You look awful.
I'd invite you in, but I just
had the place fumegated.
Very funny.
Very funny.
I know what you've been doing.
We've been having a great
time since we're rid of you.
That's what we've been doing.
You've been
ripping off my stores.
You bagged over $200,000.
Whatever are you talking about?
Last night, they sent
a man to see me.
He wanted to kill me,
but it didn't work out.
He's dead now.
Oh my god.
I murdered a man.
I'm capable of doing anything.
I want my money.
Some people get sexy
when they're angry,
but not you, Harold.
Hey we're not
playing games here.
I'm warning you.
If you don't go away,
I'll call the police
and tell them about
your killer connection.
You asked for it.
Your days are numbered.
Oh my god.
This is it.
We got to turn ourselves in.
Come on.
Come on.
Get in the car.
Who is it?
Damn you, Harold.
I've had roaches that
were easier to get rid of.
I want you out
You're coming with me.
Harold, what are you doing?
What is that, a water gun?
I got it for you, Mr. Monks.
I I found the money.
You killed Digby.
It was an accident.
I bumped into him,
and the gun went off.
Besides, if I hadn't killed
him, he would've killed me.
Mr. Monks, let me
finish Digby's job.
No.
Right now I need the money
more than I need Dibgy.
What are we doing here?
Who are these people?
Hey.
Who are you?
She and the other
girls took the money.
Is that so?
Of course it's so.
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't.
Give it up, sweet cheeks.
Come on, you don't
believe Schwanny, do you?
To start with, break her arms.
Wait, I don't have the money.
Start with her right one.
If I had the money, I
would give it to you.
I like my arms.
Laura?
Laura?
Harold Schwan is
laundering money?
Yeah, over $200,000 distributed
to different banks
on different days.
Well, it's a cash
business retail store.
It's the perfect setup
for laundering money.
Yeah.
Commander Clayton
isn't going to like this.
Nope.
I guess you'll have to tell him.
Well, me tell him?
You tell him.
Me?
Yeah.
Me tell Commander Clayton
that his brother-in-law's
a criminal? Get serious.
Wait a minute.
No, no, no, no.
This is your case,
your evidence.
You tell him.
Be reasonable.
Harold Schwan might
be the King of Clean,
but I am the captain of
Metro and you are a sergeant.
That's right, and as a sergeant,
I will complete my
detail as assigned.
However, I got to find Laura
and that money, Captain.
I think she could
be the middle of this.
As a matter of fact, her
life may be in danger.
You go find Laura,
but you're still
going to have to tell Clayton.
Hello.
Who is this?
Who is this?
Never mind who this is.
Say hello to your girlfriend.
Ah!
I'm OK, I'm OK.
They're just trying to scare me.
Ah!
Scare her to death.
Oh god.
They have Laura.
Who has Laura?
Who are you?
Never mind.
Just get the money.
All of it.
And bring it 8 o'clock tonight
to Valley, Heart, and Stern.
My man will meet you there.
Your man?
Who's your man?
Don't worry about that.
He'll find you.
And if what's your
name, sweet cheeks?
It's Laura.
If you don't show
up, Laura's dead.
Wait.
Move that thing,
or I call the police.
I am the police.
It's him, it's him.
He is the police, remember?
That's right.
We're in a hurry, Sergeant.
If you have any
more questions, we'd
be glad to answer
them at another time.
Settle down, now.
I think Laura's life
may be in danger.
Have you seen her?
I'm looking for her.
What's in that bag?
Yeah.
That one.
Can I take a look?
Yeah, it's OK.
It's all right.
Oh.
We didn't do the homicide part.
Schwanny did it.
Look, where is Laura?
Some creep said that
he's going to kill her
if we don't give him this money.
We have to be at Valley,
Heart and Stern in 20 minutes,
give some guy this money
so they'll let Laura live.
You'll make it.
Hold it right there, LAPD.
Get your hands up.
A little bit more.
Now very slowly walk over here.
Now, where's the girl?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Don't be stupid.
Where is she?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
You don't know, huh?
Nope.
Stick your head in here
for a minute, will you?
Hey.
Ah, ah!
Where is she?
Where is she?
Star Wholesale
Meats on Jefferson.
Charlie?
I wasn't expecting back up.
R21's going to back us up.
I'm with you.
Did you talk to
Commander Clayton?
Yeah.
That's why I'm here.
Oh, good.
I'm sorry, Laura.
Beg your pardon?
You are?
I'm sorry you're in this mess.
But after all, I've been in
a mess all my life, wasn't I?
You really mean that, Schwanny?
I never thought you noticed.
I just want to get
out of this alive,
so I can apologize
to all the people I hurt.
And that includes
you, Mr. Monks.
If you could feel it in
your platinum heart.
Look Schwan, I get
my money, it'll be quick.
I don't get my
money, you're going
to have a long, painful time
to regret it before you die.
I'll have you know
that my brother-in-law
is a commander in the LAPD.
They'll never find your body.
I guess being in
this business, it's
easy to get rid of body parts.
Police!
Hold it right there.
Hold it right there, police!
Harold Schwan, right?
Oh yeah, you recognize
me from TV, huh?
Yeah.
Well, thanks for
what you're doing.
Hey, would you like an
autographed picture of me?
Tell you what, Harold.
You can give me two poses.
One like this and one like this.
Funny guy.
Oh, Clayton?
Could you do me a favor?
Sure Harold, what is it?
Listen, when Louise
comes on visiting days,
if she could bring
the camera, we
still could do the commercials.
Huh?
What do you think, Hunter?
Will I still look this
good when I get out?
Honey, if you use a
good foundation cream,
you'll be just fine.
I'm proud of my Metro officers.
Thanks, Commander.
Unfortunately, this thing
affected me personally.
Oh, good job on
those rating reports.
Well, thank you, Commander.
However, it wasn't necessary
to rate Sergeant Hunter.
Well, I like to do
a complete job.
Complete to say the least.
Was that was
that part true about
I'm sure it was.
Really?
We'll have to get together
and talk about that.
Excuse me, what part was that?
Yeah, we'll have to
get together for a bite.
I guess I really
did it this time?
You think I did it this time?
Nah.
Oy.