How to Make It in America (2010–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Money, Power, Private School - full transcript

Cam meets Lulu's father, Felix, a well-known artist who invites Cam to taste his pasta. Rene sets up his video shoot that will feature Debbie in short shorts; she brings her daughter to watch. Ben asks Julie the ultimate question, "Are we cool?" Rachel and Domingo go a few steps down the road to romance, and Nancy asks Ben and Cam to design the class tee-shirt for a private middle-school graduation. If CRISP accepts this pro bono assignment, can the lads get their concept past the student review team?

Previously on How to Make It in America

How long did you and
Rachel go out for again?

I will eat, sleep, live and die crisp.

All right.

Rene, I've been trying to call you.

You're gonna get your ad agency
to make a presentation for my business.

Well, if Ben wants to get in Barney's,
you have to meet my friend Nancy Frankenburg.

- Did you sign with another rep?
- No.

Are you in or are you out?

You get an extreme sports athlete
to represent your brand.

They do a death-defying
stunt wearing your logo.



And the rest takes care of itself.

I'll take care of it. Go have fun.

- Hi. I'm Ben Epstein.
- Oh, you're a designer. Good for you.

We brought some of our samples,
if you want to check out our line?

Nice meeting you.

♪ I need
a dollar dollar ♪

- ♪ a dollar,
that's what I need ♪
- ♪ hey hey ♪

♪ well, I need
a dollar dollar ♪

- ♪ a dollar,
that's what I need ♪
- ♪ hey hey ♪

♪ said I need
a dollar dollar ♪

♪ a dollar,
that's what I need ♪

♪ and if I share
with you my story ♪

♪ would you share
your dollar with me? ♪

♪ well, I don't know if
I'm walking on solid ground ♪



♪ and all I want is ♪

♪ for someone to help me ♪

♪ and I need
a dollar dollar ♪

♪ a dollar,
that's what I need ♪

♪ and if I share
with you my story ♪

♪ would you share
your dollar with me? ♪

♪ baby, are you
up for this? ♪

♪ give me all
that slammin' ♪

♪ so that I can turn
and twist ♪

♪ me no in
a no long talking ♪

♪ I am feeling
hot tonight ♪

- ♪ me ready for the bump
and grind... ♪
- ( shrieks )

- ♪ put me on your big
ninja bike... ♪
- hey!

♪ yes, give me all that
slammin' so that I can... ♪

No, absolutely.
We can be there.

Can I just use your pen?
Thank you.

2:00?
We'll see you there.

All right. Bye.

( beeps )

That was
nancy frankenburg.

She wants us
to come in today.

That's awesome.
She's big time, right?

Oh, she's huge.
I mean, I wish
I had more time

To work on some
new designs, but--
I don't know.

Do you think it's better
just to keep it simple
with what I have?

- Keep it simple, I guess.
- Cam is gonna freak out.

He thought we blew it
at her house.

Cool. Could you pass me
the hot sauce, please?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Woman:
Here we go,
lunch bags all set up.

- Bye, domingo. Thank you.
- No problem. See you later.

- Bye, domingo.
- Bye, symphony.

- Bye, cyrus.
- Bye, domingo.

- Enjoy school, all right?
- All right.

- Learn something.
- ( woman laughs )

Shake and bake, baby.

What's up?
Hope I didn't have you
waiting too long.

Looks like you are the man
for the real housewives
of the upper east side.

That's right, nigga--
the stoner edition.

For you, sir,
for your services.

- Thank you.
- Here we go.

- ( music playing on radio )
- cam: Can I ask you
a question?

- What's that?
- You mind if I handle
my own clients,

You know, maybe get
a bigger cut?

Oh, so you're trying
to hustle, huh?

You trying to sling
a little something?

Flip a couple of zones, huh?
Be in the street with the nina?

No, man, I'm just
trying to sell weed

To harmless white people
like you do,

Make a few extra dollars
and finally get my own place.

- Keep it moving.
- Y'all making any money
off crisp yet?

- No.
- ( chuckles )

We reinvest every dime
we make, but we've got
mad inventory.

It's like my grandma
used to say--

Slow and steady.
Be buddhist, baby.

So generous.
Thank you.

Are we--
are we cool?

Do you think
we're cool?

Yeah. I think so.

- Do you?
- Um,

There's this guy.

Okay.

I-- I've known
him forever.

We've always
been friends, but...

He wants us
to be more.

( chuckles )
I keep pushing him away,

But the thing about him
is he, uh-- he, um--

- He's rich?
- He wants me.

- Oh.
- He's clear about it.

I keep waiting for you and me
to become something, but...

It never does.

So what do we do?

Julie, I--

I love being with you.
I love hanging out with you.

Are you ever gonna
fall in love with me?

Girl, if he ain't
in love with you now,

He ain't never gonna fall
in love with you.

Oh shit.

( chuckles ) my bad.

I-- you probably shouldn't
be waiting for me.

( doors hiss open )

Man over p.A.:
Stand clear of
the closing doors, please.

I'm worried that
I only like girls
who are unavailable,

'cause julie's hot,
she's down to hang

And I'm like...
( moans )

I wanna throw up
on your face right now.

- I wanna throw up on my face.
- So wait, you guys
are finished now?

- I don't know. I guess so.
- I think you need closure.

Check this shit out.

- Cam: Dude!
- Did somebody shoot you?

No, that's a jimmy choo heel.

This girl I know did
a fucking cigarette smash
right in my forearm.

You get one
of these, gentlemen,

- You know it's a wrap.
- You know it's a psycho.

Close-- serbian.

Sabina blaskovic.

- She had a fat ass.
- ( chuckles )

Rene:
Then what's
gonna happen, baby,

Is that on your cue
he's gonna get towed

At high speed
to the launch ramp,

Sail over
the other escalade,
lengthwise.

That sounds
dangerous, papi.

It's supposed
to be dangerous.

That's how
a million people
watch this stuff.

Ay, a million people,
rene? Be serious.

If all goes well, more.

Now look, I don't got
the budget of coca-cola,

So I have to cut
some corners.

But this kid wilfredo,
he's fearless.

He even agreed
to the pyrotechnics.

I like this kid a lot.
Wilfredo.

- What up, man?
- My girl and your co-star,
debbie dominguez.

Pleased to meet you.
I just wanted to let you know

Your man rene here
saved my life.

He gave me a second chance
at achieving my dream.

I'm gonna ride
for you, rene.

You the only person
that still believes in me.

That's my word.
I'll fucking ride
or die for you.

- I'll fucking kill
somebody right here for you.
- Whoa whoa, papo, papo, papo.

All that ain't necessary.
It's all good.

It's all good.
Come here.

I love you, man.
Thank you.

- I love you too, okay?
- Thank you.

Hook him up
with a rasta!

I do something wrong?

Nuh-uh, the opposite.

I got half a mind to bring
my nilda down here.

She could use some
direction to put those smarts
god gave her to good use.

Really?

You ready for that?

I'd love to meet
your daughter.

( music playing )

Hi, guys.
Nancy's expecting you.

- She'll be with you
in just a minute.
- ( people chattering )

( camera clicking )

So, guys,

Amazing opportunity.

- Great.
- Tell us.

You know, my son loved
your hoodie so much

That I thought you guys
would be perfect to design

The new saint max's
graduation t-shirt.

Saint maximilian's
high school?

- Well, actually,
the middle school.
- How much does it pay?

- Nothing.
- We would love
to help, nancy,

But we're just really busy
right now on production
for our fall line.

You know what, though?
We can-- we can
squeeze it in.

- I'll whip something up.
- Cam: What?

- We can make it work for nancy.
- Is there any chance I can see
something by tomorrow?

Look, I take 10 minutes
to do the design.

Now nancy owes us a favor.

- Who knew she had
an ass like that?
- I did.

Listen, you wa
me to come over
to brainstorm with you?

- Nah, I got this.
- I just hope taking this gig

Won't stop
nancy from seeing us
as real businessmen.

We are real businessmen.

- So what are you up to?
- Gotta drop off some
juice at corona,

Then I'm gonna help lulu
move some paintings.

- What you up to?
- I've gotta paint a sign

For a donut shop
out in bed-stuy.

A'ight,
brooklyn in the building.

Well, it's a vegan donut shop
called funkin' fauxnuts.

Oh nah, brooklyn not
in the building.

Oh, I told
my dad we'd be there
in a few minutes.

Cool? Awesome.

Genius. Bye.

I just heard something
that might interest you.

- Oh yeah?
- Apparently ben dumped julie.

- No.
- That's what
cam just told me.

- Interesting.
- Mm-hmm.

- You know, I'm meeting him
for coffee later.
- You are?

Now that he's single,
maybe I should make it
for drinks.

He's been single
for three hours.

Plus you have enough
bordeaux in your system
to last you through summer.

Oh my god, I'm kidding.
Jesus. Give me some credit.

( sighs )
go for coffee.

Keep it casual.
Be cool.

I-I-- I'm gonna be cool.
I'm so cool.

This one is gonna go
by the changing rooms.

- Yeah? It's pretty cool.
- Okay.

- Hey, lu.
- Hey.

You're taking that one?
I thought you were gonna take

- The good one to the store.
- Yeah, I'm taking both.

- He's got a truck.
- I'm cooking. You gonna stay?

- Lulu: Yes.
- I'm making amatriciana.

- Lulu: Excellent.
- Does he eat pork?

I don't know,
but he does speak
for himself

- If addressed correctly.
- Do you eat pork?

As long
as it's kosher, sir.

( laughs )

( grunts )

Ben:
Whoa whoa whoa. Hey hey,
I got it. I got it.

- Rachel: No, I got it.
- No, let me get this.

- You got it? Thank you.
- What the hell is this?

( grunts )
is it a dead body?

No. Well, I hope not.

- Can I open this?
- That's the point.

All right, let's see
what you've got here.

- Get the fuck out. What?
- ( laughing )

Wow. Is this--
is this real?

Oh my god, it is real.

Yeah, I mean, I was
at a flea market in paris
and I saw this thing.

I was like, "this has
ben's name all over it."

It was calling out
for you.

It was like...

( french accent )
"monsieur epstein,

Take me home,
put things inside of me."

- ( meows )
- ( laughs ) careful now.

I wanted to bring it to you,
but then I met julie and--

I don't know--
I thought it would be weird

For your ex
to bring you something.

Yeah. Well, I wouldn't
worry about julie anymore.

Oh no. Is it--

Is everything okay?

Yeah, it's, um--

Rach, this is--
I mean come on.

I have to give you
something for this.
This is too much.

It was like--
I got it for nothing.
I mean, it's paris.

Louis vuitton grows
on trees over there.

Besides, I--

I really wanted you
to have it.

( both laugh )

Well, thank you.

- I-- I mean--
- wow.

You know, I was thinking
about us the other day.

- Really?
- I just-- when I think
back on how we were,

- I get this, like--
- ( both laughing )

I get a bad feeling
in my stomach,

And I think
I owe you an apology.

- Apology? Why?
- 'cause I was a nightmare.

We were like
a romantic catastrophe.

- We were?
- I was depressed.

You were super anxious.

- I was?
- Yeah, but I gave you
every reason to be.

- Oh okay.
- But you're back now.

It's different.
Things are cool.

- It's like--
- yeah.

I just feel that we have
a real shot at having

A platonic friendship,

'cause I think
you're awesome,
rach. I do.

- You okay with that?
- Sure.

Yeah?

Well, you know, my--

My biggest painting
was of my father's pinky.

My father was a butcher
and accidentally cut off
his pinky.

$2 million.
And you know why?

Because it conveyed
something honest and real

That anybody could
understand and feel.

And that's what t t is.

Art works when
it communicates the truth.

You sold the painting
of your father's pinky

For $2 million?

His pinky stub. 2.6.

Damn.

You got an extra
paintbrush for me?

I can't teach you
how to paint.

I can teach you
how to cook.

I can teach you how to
make the world's greatest
spaghetti amatriciana.

Really, it's all
in the stove though.

- It's all he cooks.
- Do you have a good
stove at home?

- ( strained ) yeah. Yeah.
- I mean, I know that

This is a fucking
bourgeois indulgence,

But the stove matters.

It's all about the heat--

The heat and the timing.

Heating and timing.
That's it?

And wine.
How we doing there?

- Lulu: We're out.
- Let me get more brunello.

- Okay.
- Your pops is dope.

I can tell he likes you.
You're his kind of guy.

And you?
Am I your type of guy?

- Not really.
- ( laughs ) seriously?

If you saw
my last boyfriend,
you'd probably agree.

What, did he wear
guyliner or something?

No, he wore
a tunic and a cape.

I might wear
a cape for you.

Sour diesel,
o.G. Kush,

Granddaddy purp

And, my personal favorite,
blue haze.

Okay? It's a sativa.
It's a head thing.

You want to feel it
in your head or your body?

I want it to feel like
my head doesn't exist.

- Blue haze.
- Right.

- What's up? Rough day?
- Yeah, a little rou d day.

You know what I do
when I have a rough day?

- No, what's that?
- Make a turkey sandwich

On wheat, toast it
and I watch "scarface."

I'm sorry. I'm not
a turkey sandwich
kind of girl.

If you want,
I got a shih-tzu tied up
outside named mooshoo.

She'd love to go for a walk.
She's a good listener.

- Can we smoke first?
- I would prefer that.

- Yeah.
- Yes.

( music playing )

( elevator whirring )

Was that an eighth
or a gram?

Like, how much
do I owe you?

I'd feel silly
taking money from you,
so we're good. I got you.

Oh, that's sweet.
Thanks, domingo.

My pleasure.

I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have did that.

- My bad.
- It's okay.

( swallows )

( music playing )

( people singing
in spanish )

( chatting )

Rene: Go over there
and don't shake that
too much, all right?

Oh. Oh-ho.

Hey hey, this must be
the honor student I keep
hearing about.

- Nice to meet you, nilda.
- How you doing?

Your mama,
she gonna be famous.

From a rasta monsta
viral video? Please.

And my moms is acting
way too thirsty

As a 32-year-old out here
in some damn poom poom shorts.

Nilda!

Wilfredo:
Oh hell fucking no!

- Man: Kill it.
- They're bugging out.

Yo, what's up
with this crazy
fire ramp thing?

Are you trying
to take advantage of me?

What happedd
to ride or die?

Yo, I feel like
I wanna live today though.

Beth israel is around
the corner, okay?

I got my phone
on 911 speed dial

And my boy eddie there--
certified e.M.T.

It's very unlikely
you're gonna die today.

- Okay.
- Wilfredo, I believe
in you, baby!

You can do it!

- Yo.
- Hey.

Sorry, I didn't--
I didn't want to wake you.

All good. All good.

- Where you headed?
- I just have to go
to the a.T.M.,

Get a pedicure
and just hit whole foods

- And ju---- just stuff.
- Cool.

You wanna get
some breakfast?

Oh. Um...
I don't know.

- Are-- are you hungry?
- Hell yeah. I'm hungrier
than a motherfucker.

( laughs )

- What do you wanna eat?
- Whatever.

♪ who put the bomp
in the bomp alomp alomp? ♪

♪ who put the ram in
the rama lama ding dong? ♪

♪ who put the bomp
in the bomp alomp alomp? ♪

Okay, nancy said
the design committee
was tough.

Relax.
Parents love me.

Ben:
So we took
your school crest,

But we kdada
made it our own

Without compromising
the integrity of this design.

Althou w we did take
some liberties on the--
on the dragon. Yeah.

- Serpent.
- Same difference.

- Girl: Not really.
- How many serpents do
you know that breathe fire?

Yeah, so louis and I aren't
really feeling this.

- It's just vivious.
- Obvious?

I I mean if yoweweren't
inspired, you shouldn'.

- Oh yeah?
- You ysys havpopotential,

But 's's definitely
not in this shirt.

I inink you're
gonna have to goacack
to the drawing board.

Looks like it's
gonna be a late nightely
at the crisp studihirt.

- ( bell rings
- ( mocks ) "I know crisp."

And what's up
- atat's not cool.T ovovscscarf?

( ( sighs ) ye..
- ( sighs )

Whevever, man.
Let's ju getetut of f here.

I'm gonna
tetell ncy we're done.E.You u r.

U u elelike
you killed it
though, ririt?

Yeah. What, you didn't
like the serpent?

- I don't know.
- Cam, are you serious
right now?

I 'm just saying
maybe we should go honest,

A little more
personal with it.

Personal? We went
to public school.

What the fuck
do we know about
these little brats?

Art's gotta
tell the truth, right?

That's actually
pretty funny.

- ( music playing )
- ( crowd cheering )

( engine revving )

Debbie: Whoo!

Whoo!

Yeah!

Whoo! Mwah!

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

Whoo!

Are you ready
for the rasta monsta, baby?

- ( cheering continues )
- ( revving continues )

One! Two!

( yelling )
what the fuck is this?

This is horrible!
This is offensive!

- Hey, get out of here!
- You people should go home.

You shouldn't be looking
at this minstrel show.

- Hey, move!
- Man: Don't buy
into this racist bullshit.

- Come on, man.
Don't do that, man.
- No, don't "come on."

- This is my time.
- This is bullshit!
Look at her!

- Rene: This is not a crime.
I'm making a living!
- Man: By pimping my people!

- Hey!
- You should be ashamed
of yourself!

What the fuck
is a rasta monsta?

- I'm the rasta monsta,
motherfucker!
- Hey hey hey!

Hey hey, what the fuck
you doing?

- Listen! Hey, stop!
- ( yelling )

- No no no no!
- Man: Listen to me, man!

- ( man yells )
- yeah! I'll fucking
kill for you, rene!

- Hey!
- Ah!

Long live the great

- Rastafari!
- ( crowd cheering )

Man, don't do that!
Oh, come on!

Yo, eddie, get me
a fire extinguisher!

Mikey, a fire extinguisher!

No, let's just stop! Hey!

( music playing )

( cellphone ringing )

- ( beeps )
- hello?

Andy:
I owe you an apology.

Our last meeting was not
my proudest moment.

It's andy sussman,
by the way.

Oh thanks.

- Hey.
- And because I believe
crisp is that special,

I'm willing to break
my own rules

And offer you a last spot
on team sussman.

( chuckles )
well, I appreciate that,

But I think we're all good
at this point.

That rep you met
got you in barneys?

Not exactly.

Oh, so then everything
is not all good, is it?

Does the name stacey rowe
mean anything to you?

- Should it?
- She's the new assistant
menswear buyer at barney's

And a tulane alum
just like me.

Yeah, you and 3,000
other people in the city.

Right. Well,
I have a call in to her

And I could be
very persistent, ben.

Hey, listen,
good luck with that.

I believe we make
our own luck.

Well, make yourself
some good luck
with that then.

- Have a good one, andy.
- Good night, ben.

Fuck!

( radio chatter )

( distant siren )

You need to find
a skater who isn't crazy.

I blew a lot
of money today

For nothing.

At times I feel like
god doesn't want me

To win legitimately.

Ay, believe me,
I know the feeling.

I want us both to win

And I'll stand
by you until we do.

Hmm?

Thank you.

Now will you be
a sweetie and go get me
my jacket in the truck?

- Please, papi?
- Yeah.

Wilfredo:
How old are you?
Oh fuck.

Wilfredo, I'm gonna
fucking kill you, man!

Oh shit!
Please don't tell my moms.

( music playing )

( distant siren )

♪ this ain't no disco... ♪

( speaking spanish )

( speaking spanish )

- Mm-hmm.
- ( speaking spanish )

Mmm. Oh...

- ( laughs )
- ( man speaking )

♪ I can't help it,
you're perfect for me ♪

♪ I could care less,
you're perfect for me ♪

♪ I've been waiting ♪

♪ you're perfect
for me right now ♪

♪ in the morning,
you're perfect for me ♪

♪ I've been waiting,
you're perfect for me ♪

♪ you're not perfect ♪

♪ but you're perfect
for me right now. ♪

Whoa! Domingo?

I know.
So bizarre.

You think ben's gonna
be cool with this?

Of course.

The guy told me he gets
sick to his stomach

- When he thinks
about our relationship.
- I'm sure he didn't say that.

He said something
like that, yeah.

- You know the trunk
that I gave him?
- Uh-huh.

- I told him I paid
like nothing for it.
- Uh-huh.

- I paid $1,200.
- Whoa.

It's better that way.
He shouldn't know how much
he's worth to you.

- Yeah.
- Let it be your
parting gift to him.

- Hmm?
- I wish I would've put
a dead bird in it.

- You know you snore?
- Ay, stop it.

- I do not snore.
- ( both laugh )

Nilda, can you clear
the table, please?

Later, I'm busy.

Ahem! Nilda honey,
come here a second.

Your mother,
she just asked you
to clean the table.

That's a nice thing to do,

I mean after all the fun
you had on set yesterday.

Oh. Ahem.

Are you finished, rene?

I am.

- Thank you.
- Can I take
your plate, mom?

Yes, you may.

What a good kid
you got.

You can clean
the kitchen too, honey.

( music playing )

I love it.

Unafraid to state
the obvious.

It reminds me
of the marc jacobs tattoo,
"bros before hos."

- ( cam and ben chuckle )
- well, I'm glad you like it.

That's crisp--
unafraid.

The principal may have
some issues with it.

- Yeah?
- Forget him.
I'm wearing this tomorrow.

And if I wear one,
the whole school will
start wearing them.

She has
that kind of power.

Hmm, she'll have
my job one day.

Don't think so.
I'll be in paris.

Nancy:
So if you give me
a call in a week or so,

I might have something
for the two of you.

Absolutely. Hats for
the school baseball team?

No, zac posen
already did those.

I'm talking
about a real order.
Are you interested?

Yes, we are in.
Definitely.

Thank you so much.
Really.

- What?
- Does your girlfriend
like to make fun

- Of those cute
little ears of yours?
- Nancy.

I have
charlotte bronson.

Mmm. Good work.
Talk to you next week.

( music playing )

Later.

( man vocalizing )

♪ I was the third brother
of five ♪

♪ doing whatever
I had to do to survive ♪

♪ I'm not saying
what I did was all right ♪

♪ trying to break
out of the ghetto was
a day-to-day fight ♪

♪ been down so long ♪

♪ getting up
didn't cross my mind ♪

♪ but I knew there was
a better way of life ♪

♪ that I was
just trying to find ♪

♪ but you don't know
what you'll do ♪

♪ until you're put
under pressure ♪

♪ across 110th street
is a hell of a tester ♪

♪ across 110th street ♪

♪ pimps trying to catch
a woman that's weak ♪

♪ across 110th street ♪

♪ pushers won't let
the junkie go free ♪

♪ across 110th street ♪

♪ woman trying to catch
a trick on the street ♪

♪ ooh, baby,
across 110th street ♪

♪ you can find it all
in the street ♪

♪ whoo. ♪