How to Make It in America (2010–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

* I need a dollar dollar *

- * a dollar, that's what I need *
- * hey hey *

{\pos(280,285)}* well, I need a dollar dollar *

{\pos(280,210)}- * a dollar, that's what I need *
- * hey hey *

{\pos(280,190)}* said I need a dollar dollar *

{\pos(280,190)}* a dollar, that's what I need *

{\pos(280,190)}* and if I share with you my story *

{\pos(290,140}* would you share your
dollar with me? *

* well, I don't know if I'm
walking on solid ground *

{\pos(96,285)}* and all I want is for someone *

{\pos(96,285)}* to help me *



* I need a dollar dollar *

* a dollar, that's what I need *

* and if I share with you my story *

{\pos(290,110)}* would you share your
dollar with me? *

Fuck it.

* hit me when you
wanna get rammed in *

* I'll be scramblin' with lots
of mobsters shop for lobsters *

* cops and robbers, listen,
every block is blocka... *

A'ight, Avi.

Stay strong, Hebrew.

- I've gotta piss, yo.
- Oh, yeah.

I can't believe you
actually got up this early.

Up early? I never slept.

I just left that tattooed girl.



She's not a lesbian?

She is but she makes an
exception for black dudes.

- You're black?
- Black enough.

- You were smoking?
- No.

You know you owe me
$100 if you were smoking.

Yeah yeah.
What's up with these decks, man?

I've got to get these
out of my apartment.

- Nobody wants them. Sorry, bro.
- Don't be sorry.

Whatever happened to Mr.
I-can-sell-igloos-to-eskimos?

You can't sell skateboards
without the skater.

Wilfredo's officially a missing
person now. Nobody can find him.

Fucking Wilfredo, man.

The guy could've just told
me he hated my graphic.

Don't take all the credit. You heard
Wilfredo stopped taking his meds, right?

What are you doing?

I told Gingy we'd be there by 8:00.
I've got to be at work at 11:00.

- Come on, let's go.
- Five minutes.

Are you kidding me? Come on.

No no no no. No dancing.
Come on, an. Stop.

See, that just sounds
exhausting to me.

Exhausting?

That's the triple-bang session.
Three times before sunrise.

Yeah, well,
I'd rather do it once well.

I do it well... three times.

You don't chafe from all this?

Ben, I think it's been so long,
you forgot what it's like.

- It hasn't been that long.
- Pardon me, ladies and gentlemen,

My name is Anthony Rogers.

I'm out here today
selling peanut M&ms...

Not for no boy scout troop
or no basketball team.

I'm out here hustling
for my damn self,

so I can make some money and be a
positive member of my community

and stay away from drugs and the
disgusting fiends that use them.

- Candy, sir?
- No thanks, buddy.

Snap, Ben.
Where'd you get those?

- I had these before you were born.
- How much you want for them?

- They're no these gonna fit you.
- Not for me, yo.

I could flip those in an hour.

You know how many offers
I get on these?

It's not about money.
It's about respect.

Look at you two, all that respect

and you're still taking the train
to work. When I'm your age,

I'ma have me a Mercedes maybach.

And you'll be a dope ass chauffeur.

Man, whatever.

* I'm coolin' in New York,
I'm chillin' in New York *

* the hoods is on my block
and the brothers at the court *

* the baseball hats is on
and the projects is calm *

- * dreamtime's extended *
- * and highly recommended... *

- Morning, sunshine.
- Morning.

Morning, meth lab.

Meth? Come on, Gingy. I'm old school.
I'm like cocaine and caviar.

- You're more like RedBull and Pringles.
- Cam, what are you doing?

Yo, give me five minutes,
I'll be good to...

I don't have five minutes.
"Artforum" is coming at 10:00

and I had to beg them
to cover this show.

Let's get something to eat first.
I'll go to Cosmo's. What do you want?

Hell. Get me a bacon, egg
and cheese on a roll.

Stop it, you guys.
Listen, nobody is going anywhere.

I put every dollar that I have into
this show. I need you guys...

- Why you believe in Tim, anyway?
- Because Tim has talent

and if I don't sell every
one of his photos tonight,

Then I am going to end up broke,
living out of my car.

Your car's nicer than my crib,
Gingy.

You could never be broke, Gingy.
Come on.

Yeah, in the fund we trust, girl.

Actually, assholes,

I don't take money from my
father and you know that.

I just need a little bit of
help this morning.

Now can I count on you two or what?

So my friend Jane specifically asked me
If you would be at the opening tonight.

- Which one's Jane?
- She's cute.

She has short hair,
she writes for Nylon and

she'll definitely have sex with you.

Really?

Yeah, I was actually
gonna talk to you about tonight.

- Don't, Ben.
- Gingy, I'm sorry, but

I'm officially retired from New York
City Nightlife all right? You know that.

I can't believe you're still scared
of running into Rachel.

I am not.

Why? Did...

- Did you talk to her? Is she coming?
- Would that be weird if she did?

No...

not for me.

She might feel weird about it.

You know what? I was
gonna make it a surprise, but screw it.

I want to give you one of these photos
one of Tim's photos...

As a thank you for all the help.

That's great. That's...

I mean, these are a framed reminder
of what losers all my friends are.

Oh my god.
I've had it with you.

What? I didn't mean to say losers, okay?
I meant to say "degenerates."

- Gingy, you know I'm coming.
- Good.

Shit. I'm late for work.
Cam, peace, man.

- Ben.
- Yeah?

- Where's the Barney's tag?
- Lost it.

That's the third time this month. I'm
gonna have to dock your paycheck $20

- to replace it.
- Found it.

- Looky looky.
- Yeah, there it is.

Now put it on and keep it on.

Ben Epstein, right?

- Yeah.
- David.

David Kaplan from high school.

- Right. Yeah, David.
- What's up, dude?

How you doing?

Good.

I'm doing great. I'm doing great.
I'm managing a little hedge fund.

Took a bit of a t, but still
got a few pesos to play with.

- Yeah.
- Here, let me give you this.

- This is Natalia.
- Hello.

- Hi.
- We've got to hang out, bro.

- I'll call you.
- Please.

Fuck. You should've seen
this kid in high school.

This kid used to make these
T-Shirts that were the shit.

Hey hey, you still doing art?

'cause I collect now, by the way.
You ever hear of Damien Hirst?

- Yeah, of course.
- I just got one of those.

He needs jeans.
Which are cool jeans?

Let me show you some new
jeans we got from japan.

- Yeah?
- I think you might like 'em. Yeah.

Are they gonna fit my fat ass?

'cause I happen to be oddly shaped.

Smells good.

Grandma cooking up a feast for us.

It's not just two of us.

Guess who come home from ossining?

Your cousin Rene.

He got the good behavior.

He wanted make a surprise for you.

Grandma, I forgot your malta at the
supermarket. I'll be right back, okay?

Yo yo, that who I think it is, man?

My little cousin.

Where you going, man?

You didn't come to visit me. You didn't
send nothing for my commissary.

What's the matter,
papa? You forgot about me?

- Never. Never, bro.
- Give me a kiss.

- What the fuck are you doing?
- Need a lift?

- Why do you have Gingy's car?
- Get in.

All right, where are we going?

The docks.

Why?

Butter-soft Marc Buchanan leather
jackets. Deal goes away in an hour.

- Get in on this with me.
- Hell no, man.

I'm going home to
take a nap before Gingy's opening.

Come on, yo. Easy money.
We'll have fun.

Why are you so desperate to
make a buck all of a sudden?

You get that gay girl pregnant?

A'ight.

- Fuck it. I'ma tell you.
- Tell me what?

- My cousin Rene came home...
- Already?

- And he wants his loan paid back.
- What loan?

What the fuck are you talking about?
What loan?

The five grand for the Wilfredo Gomez
pro-model. He needs it by Monday.

What?

No no no no no no.

You told me that was an investment from
a wall street guy who owes you a for.

Investment,
loan... what's the difference?

The difference? The difference is your
lunatic cousin breaking my fucking arm.

- Nobody's gonna break your arm.
- Cam, he threw you out of a window

over a video game.

That was the first floor.
It was a joke.

Ben...

relax.

I've got it all worked out.
We're good with the leathers.

That's your idea of having it all
worked out? Bootleg leather jackets?

Well, it's the leathers or we sell coke
for my cousin at Gingy's opening.

All right,
if I go with you to the docks,

I'm smoking without a $100 penalty.

Deal.

All right. Not bag, not bad.
How many of these you got?

How many you want?

Is this selvage?

Fuck selvage. That's han
d-dyed indigo from a left-handed weave.

- No way.
- Came off the boat from Osaka

bound for the jeans shop on west
14th street until it met me.

- How much?
- Three grand.

Yo, Ben, we don't have three grand.
Focus on the pleathers.

Yo, Pal, that ain't no pleather.

What you think?

It's real.

Name tag's spelled wrong
straight up bootleg.

- Bad news, these are straight bootleg.
- That ain't no bootleg.

Last time I checked,
Buchanan spelled mark with ak.

I don't give a shit if he spells it
with a kkk. That's some real leather.

Kkk? Really?

I'll tell you what, give me $500
for the lot and I'll throw in a blender.

- $400.
- Go fuck yourself.

$500 it is. Yo, Ben,
how much cash you got on you?

No no no, it's not like that.
You see, I didn't find photography.

Photography found me.
I was living in a halfway house,

I stole a camera from the wiz
and I just started shooting.

I mean, true art is all on the streets.
Everything else is bullshit.

By the way, I'm having
a very special deal on my 20x24 prints.

Very cool for my japanese friends.

Konichiwa. I appreciate it.

There you are.
What up, fool?

- Domingo. Look good, man.
- How you feeling?

Dang, Ben. Put a smile on that face.
Man, it's a party.

I'm smiling.

On the inside, I'm smiling.
Yeah.

- Well, holla at me later.
- All right, man.

- Finally.
- How's it going?'moving units or what?

- So far so good. It's good so far.
- I can't believe people actually pay

- for this. I've got get myself camera.
- Yeah, do that.

- All right, so is Rachel here?
- No, but Jane is.

- I'm gonna catch up with your pops.
- Leave him alone, Cam.

What are you talking about?
Your dad loves me.

- Gingy, I'm really not ready for this.
- It's fine.

- Hello, Jane.
- Hi, Gingy.

- This is... this is Ben.
- Ben. Hey.

- Are you okay?
- Yes, I'm fine.

- I think I broke half your face off.
- It's okay.

Does anybody need anything to drink?
Or like anything?

- Want ice or something?
- No, I'm all right. Thanks, yeah.

Okay.

So...

I think we've actually met before.

- We have?
- Yes.

- You don't remember?
- No, of course, I remember.

- Where was it?
- I can't believe you don't remember.

Come on, just give me a hint.

Okay, fine. It was at this really
beautiful loft in chinatown.

Nico's loft.

That was my birthday party.

I can't believe
I totally crashed your birthday party.

You didn't bring me a gift.
What the fuck?

Listen.

I'm having some
people over afterwards.

You should come by.

Yeah?
I don't know if I can tonight,

- but thank you, though.
- That's too bad.

It's cold stone creamery
but for donuts.

I call it build-a-nut.

- No, Cam.
- You pick your own toppings.

Camo frosting for the dudes

And strawberry-flavored hig
heel sprinkles for the ladies.

No. You keep coming to me
with these crazy ideas,

and maybe some of them
might be good.

But everybody's got ideas.

Nobody wants to put in the work.

Don't tell me what you're gonna do.
Show me what you've done,

And then maybe, finally,
I'll write you that check.

How many zeros on that check?

- Hey, Rachel.
- Hey, Ben. How are you?

Ben, this is Darren.
Darren, Ben.

- Hey, Ben. Nice to meet you.
- Darren. Hey.

- So how you been?
- Good.

- Good.
- Really good. Quit smoking.

Really? Thas great.

That's good.

Was that you in
that photo back there?

Oh, yeah, that's...

me.

- You know I like it.
- Yeah.

- Maybe I can use it in the bar.
- Yeah...

Darren is opening this
hotel in the bowery.

She's got a good eye on this one.

- Oh, yeah.
- There she is.

Sorry, but I've got to steal
this man for a second.

- Good seeing you.
- Of course.

- You okay?
- No, I'm fine.

Dude, she doesn't even look that good.
You had her at her prime. No offense.

None taken.

- After-party at G.I. Jane's. Let's do it.
- We should definitely do that.

- Hey, you made it.
- Hello, Jane.

- Yo, Do!
- Hey, what's up?

Have you ever tried absinthe?

- No.
- I'm obsessed with it.

It has to be the real deal...
The stuff with thujone.

That's the
stuff that makes you go crazy.

- Crazy, huh?
- For me a shot too, sexy.

Ben, this is Marco.
Marco is a painter.

He just got back from a
solo show in Mexico city.

And I sold it out too,
So yay for me.

I'll be right back, okay?

All right.

I would tear that ass up.

- You would?
- Hey, yo, Ben.

Will you excuse me?

We're gonna leave with
these wilhelmina chicks.

Already?

And that's what's happening.

We're gonna go get some
grub at the blue ribbon,

Courtesy of harold's conde
nast expense account.

- Are you in or what?
- Actually, I think I'm good, man.

How are you gonna handle
that Jane situation?

I don't know. Something'll happen.
Out of the bottle? Really?

If the lifestyle's crazy,
that's how I roll.

- Get up with you later.
- Holla at me, man.

- I will, I will.
- Yo, Ben,

Thanks for coming to
the docks, by the way.

- No doubt.
- That's really meant a lot,

- you would still do that for me.
- Of course.

You're gonna help me
flip the jackets, right?

Hell no. I'll do that. -

By the way, if I was you,
I would push Jane into the bedroom

and tongue her down real fast.

Don't wait till 4:00 in the morning
To make a move. I know you.

What? Me?

No, I'm gonna go for
the triple bang session.

He who hesitates masturbates.

All right.

* my brother baling hay *

I think we're gonna bail, Jane.

- Let me walk you out.
- Bye, guys.

Dude, stop being a cock block.

Marco, aren't you gay?

Gay? Yeah, you wish I was gay

So I'd let you put
your dick in my mouth.

I don't even really
knowow to respond to that.

So, thanks for coming, Marco.

- What are you doing, Jane?
- Come on, I'll walk you out.

It was nice to meet you, Marco.

What?

Rachel, I just want to talk to you.

Ben, you've got to call me tomorrow.

Please please.
Just give me five minutes, okay?

I'm not gonna try to make out
with you or anything.

- Unless you want me to.
- Please go home.

You said we oughta be friends!

Whassup?

You're not being
a very good friend now!

Jesus! Ben, go home.

- You look so beautiful right now.
- Go home.

I miss you.

Why don't you just go home, buddy?

You. Hey. How you doing?

Why don't you come down
here so I can kick your ass?

"Buddy"? Who says "buddy"?

I'm not...

Yo, Ben, get out of bed.
It's time to get paid.

Go away.

Come on, man. You've still gotta
help me flip the jackets. Get up, man.

It's Saturday!

The flea market's Sunday, asshole.
Go away.

Fuck the flea market. Come on, man.

We're gonna go old-school, bro.

Real leathers, $150 a piece.

Marc Buchanan butter-soft
leather jackets, $150 apiece.

Get 'em while it's still chilly.
Get one for your boyfriend.

There you go. Check one out.
Check one right there.

- Real leathers...
- Okay, guys.

Let's see the vendor's permit.

What? Yeah, it's right here.

Let's see it.

You wanna call your
friend back here, please?

Yeah, I'll do that.

I can't believe you bitched
out on me like that.

You're out of your mind, Cam.

You think that fat
ass was gonna catch you?

You're missing the point.
I'm not running from the police, okay?

Not at my age.

Not over some fake-ass leather
jackets. You did well, man.

What are you talking about?
We're three grand short.

You'll deal with Rene, you'll figure
something out for the rest.

It's like that now? All on me?

I never wanted to borrow money

from your shady-ass
cousin in the first place.

Shady or not, at least
I'm still going for it,

Not working for the man like you.

What are you, 12?

How long are you gonna keep
saying "fuck the man" for?

Until we are the man.

I'm sorry to be the
one to break it to you,

but it's time you grow
the fuck up, Cam.

- Like you did?
- Yeah.

One failure and it's a wrap.

Now you're all grown up,
working at Barneys.

Ben, I'm sorry I lied
to you about that money.

I just actually wanted us
to do something for once,

Not just watch as it
happens to all our friends.

I know where we can
get rene's money.

Fucking downtown loft.

It's all about uptown luxury.

I love all this limestone.

My dudes, welcome to villa Capo.

I guess we know which one of
you paid attention in high school.

Fuck that. I barely graduated,

but anything is still
possible in america.

Even for some loud-mouthed jew.

Where's your glfriend?

The girl from Barneys?

Natalia? No,
she's not my girlfriend.

She's a pro.
I got her off the eros guide.

You know. You guys want a beer?

- I'm good.
- I'm good, thanks.

All right! What you got for me?

Okay, this is my boy Tim.

He is the hottest photographer
in the game right now.

He just had his first show
this weekend in Chinatown.

- Sold out.
- Tim is the man.

I'm telling you
this is a steal at three grand.

I love that. Let's see it.

- That's nice, Ben.
- It's sick, right?

That's real cool.
That's just not for me, though.

David, look at this. Really?

- I'm telling you...
- I hear you, you know.

I don't do black and white.
I'm sorry.

But, David,

you've got to think of
this as an investment.

Right. I totally get that,

I just... it's not worth it for me,
though.

- Black and white, it'...
- Cam.

- He doesn't want to do it. It's fine.
- I'm really sorry, guys.

Bro, you want me
to loan you that money, though?

What?

Honestly,
you look like you're about to cry.

No, man,
I'm not gonna take your money.

- No, it's all good.
- Actually, guys, you know,

There's a way you might be able...

- I'm not gonna do that.
- To pay me back.

You don't happen to know the
doorman at avenue, do you?

- Dez. Yeah.
- Dez. Right.

I play ball with Dez every
Wednesday.

- You do?
- Yeah.

That guy really hates me.

Is there any way you guys

could maybe make him not
hate me so much?

Yeah, we can do that.

- Really? That was be amazing.
- We've got you, man.

Fuck.

You fucking suck.

Up yours, motherfucker.
Go ahead. Take that.

There you go, you fucking dick.

Idiot.

That's bullshit.

Bring my cousin in.

You ever try this
rasta monsta stuff here?

- No. What's that?
- I just bought the

exclusive tri-state area
distribution rights for this.

Jamaicans make it. They put
some kind of nutrients in there.

One drink of this shit,
you'll be fucking all night.

White kids are gonna love
this stuff, man, right?

Hell yeah.

Look at this shit.

I didn't even have
to hurt anybody, bro.

My man, stepping it up.

I guess we're not the
losers you thought we were.

No, you still are.

One look at one of those skate decks

anybody would tell you that.
Right, Jabar?

I kinda like the elephant.

Shut the fuck up, Jabar.
Who asked you?

Yo, grab a cup. Grab a cup.

Here you go. Ready?

One for you. One for you.

To not having to
break my cousin's arm.

Go ahead. Go for it.

How that taste? Like that?

- Tastes good.
- Yeah, that's something.

- Yeah, baby.
- That shit is good.

So, Rene...

How would you like to
loan us another $3,000?

What this fool just say?

What are you doing?

Fuck the man. Right, Cam?

Yo, the kid is back.

Me and Ben, we're making jeans.

Premium denim. Premium. $900 a pair
and don't ask me for no discounts.

'cause I know how you are.

Get off the phone.

- I'll call you back.
- Pick it up.

We're gonna get run over.