How I Met Your Mother (2005–2014): Season 2, Episode 15 - Lucky Penny - full transcript
When Ted misses his important business trip to Chicago, he tries to trace his steps back to the original incident that triggered the series of events that made him miss the flight.
Ted: Kids, never underestimate
the power of destiny.
Because when you
least expect it,
The littlest thing
can cause a ripple effect
That changes your life.
Take for instance
my trip to chicago.
That security guard
was a little bit handsy.
That's funny. She
barely touched me.
Uh, gate 23.
Come on.
If we miss this flight,
I will never forgive myself.
Why was this flight
so important?
Let's back up a few months
to the fall of 2006.
I had just sold my first
building design
And become the youngest project
manager in my firm's history.
Suddenly I was being headhunted.
One firm was even considering me
To run their
entire new york office.
They were flying me in
for a final interview
At their corporate headquarters
in chicago.
It was the opportunity
of a lifetime.
It was my destiny.
There was just one problem.
Hi, wait, two more.
Sorry, you're too late,
I already shut the doors.
Well, I'm sure if we pull
real hard we can open them.
Hmm, I wish it
worked like that, but see,
Once I close
those doors, that's it.
Nobody else is allowed
down that jet-way.
Except for that guy.
Please, if-if
I miss this flight,
I'll miss the chance to
interview for my dream job.
I'm sorry, sir.
His dream job!
Didn't you ever
have a dream job?
Something from when
you were a little girl,
That was all you wanted to do?
I mean, for god's sakes,
I'm sure you didn't
Go to bed at night
dreaming about being a...
I mean, uh...
This is a cool job.
Please, I have to be
on this flight.
I'll see what I can do.
But it doesn't look good.
Thanks.
Your uniforms are pretty.
Okay.
They haven't
armed the doors yet,
So you still have a chance.
It's up to the captain now
and they're calling us back.
Great, please let us know
soon as you hear anything.
Sure, and for the future,
we recommend you arrive
At the airport an hour and
a half before your flight,
Not, you know, one minute after.
Normally,
I'm incredibly responsible.
I just had to go to court
this morning and get sentenced.
Not that I'm
a criminal or anything.
Yeah, he just jumped
a subway turnstile.
You seem to have
a lot of problems
With the rules of travel.
(phone rings)
Hello?
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Oh, that is great news.
It's my mom...
She found her missing earring.
Have a seat.
I'll call you
when I hear something.
Where was it?
That thing better
have call waiting.
Could you just call the firm
And explain what happened?
It's down to three
people and I know
They need to make
their decision today.
I sort of feel my not showing up
might put me at a disadvantage.
(laughing):
I'm so stupid.
Why did I have
to jump that turnstile?
Hey, don't be so
hard on yourself.
And isn't this whole thing
really barney's fault?
She had a point.
It was kind of barney's fault.
Remember?
Let's back up a few months.
Oh, marshall,
how's the broken toe?
Oh, man, it kills.
You want some aspirin, baby?
You know I don't believe
in pain killers.
Wow, your first broken bone.
Kind of kills your whole
"unbreakable" theory.
Marshall used to think
He was indestructible.
Well, it added up.
I've never broken anything.
I've never been sick,
And when I need to, I can summon
Incredible strength.
Ted, tell her the story
of the really heavy door.
There was a really heavy door.
He opened it.
On one pull.
Whoo!
Well, you must be really bummed,
You're not gonna
be able to run tomorrow.
Yeah. It sucks,
all that work
I put in training for the
marathon was a total waste.
Training for a marathon.
What?
You don't need
to train for a marathon.
You just run it.
You're kidding, right?
Not at all.
I could run a marathon
anytime I wanted to.
So like tomorrow,
You think you could
wake up, roll out of bed,
And just run
the new york city marathon?
Absolutely.
Barney, we're talking
about 42 kilometers.
Thanks, canada.
I'll take it from here.
Barney, it's like 26 miles.
Here's how you run a marathon.
Step one, you start running.
There is no step two.
Okay, you know what?
Prove it.
Take my number
And run in my place.
I will bet you
50 bucks you don't
even finish the race.
50 bucks?
Gee, grandpa, if I win,
Maybe I can buy myself
an ice-cream cone.
Make it $10,000.
You have a gambling problem.
You'll bet me 50.
Fine, then no bet.
Okay, $50.
The next morning,
as the marathon began,
We were focused
on marshall's computer.
Each runner gets a tracking chip
So you can follow them online,
See when they pass certain
checkpoints.
Barney's got mine in his shoe.
Ooh, he's starting!
(chuckling):
This ought to be good.
Marshall:
Wow.
He's already passing
the second checkpoint.
This tracking thing is amazing.
When we get married,
You're getting one of these.
Robin:
Wow.
Look at his time.
It's pretty impressive.
He's gotta be cheating, okay.
He knew we'd check.
Yeah, he'll do anything
to win a bet.
Remember that time he bet me
That men at work sang
"hungry like the wolf,"
And when he found out
that they didn't,
He tried to hire them to?
Well, it looks like,
"barney" should be coming
over the queensboro bridge
And up first avenue
within the next hour or so.
But... There is no way that
that's really him.
It's really him.
Hey! That's mine.
Yeah, you'd better run!
What up, non-finishers?
Wow.
Amazing. Wow. Very
impressive, barney.
Right?
Wow.
Yeah, my time would have been
Like a hour an hour better,
But I met this total hottie
on mile seven.
We took a quick detour
And had our own mini marathon
behind a nathan's.
I won.
I'm not sure anyone
in that story is a winner.
So where's my 50 bucks?
All right.
(chuckles)
I got to admit, you earned this.
Huh?
Can't believe they haven't made
a coin for this yet.
Anyway,
I'm heading home.
Might go hit the gym.
Oh, hey, just so you know, uh,
All marathon runners get
To use the subway
for free today.
Wow. You know I really should
check out this "subway."
Heard so much about it.
Wow.
Look at me. Slumming it.
Maybe I'll make
a weekend out of it
And I'll call my bridge
and tunnel girl tonight.
You're dating a girl
from new jersey?
No.
(phone ringing)
so barney did it.
He actually finished
the marathon.
But a little while later...
I got an interesting phone call.
Hello?
Ted, it's barney.
Listen to me, I need you to come
and pick me up on the subway.
What, what are you talking
about?
I was sitting here, totally
minding my own business.
Finisher.
Yeah, you know, what I mean.
Man (over p.A.):
86th street.
My legs don't work.
I've already ridden the subway
Twice end to end.
I've seen where it turns around.
Ted, you don't ever want to see
where the subway turns around.
Barney's legs won't work.
He's riding the subway
From end to end
because he physically
Can't get off the train.
Best 50 bucks I ever spent.
Listen to me, ted.
I'm going to lose you
any second.
I'm on the fourth car
of the six train heading south
From pelham bay park
in the bronx.
Meet me at the 86th street
station in, like, half an hour?
All right.
I'll be right there.
Stay where you are.
Ted, ted.
Oh, come on.
You're not even going to
give up your seat for him?
I'm sorry. I can't.
Douche.
Barney?!
Ted!
Hey!
(grunting)
No...!
See?
If barney never tried
to run the marathon,
You never would have
jumped that turnstile,
You wouldn't have had
that court date today,
And we would have
made this flight.
You're right.
Everything can be traced back
to him.
Like that rash we all got
at christmas.
All right, I have
to see what's going on.
So I was able
to get you two seats.
Really? That's great!
No, no, not you.
I'm talking to my mom
about blue man group.
Ma, can I call you back?
Okay, what about our
flight? Can we get on?
I'm still waiting for...
Huh.
Looks like your flight left
already.
What? No, n-n-n-no, n-no.
I have to be in chicago today.
Well, he never even
called you back?
Well, it's typical pilot.
They don't call you back at work
and they don't call you back
After you spend two nights with
them at a radisson in orlando.
It turned out
there was one other flight
That would just barely get me
to chicago on time
For my job interview,
But it was all the way on
the other side of the airport.
Robin: What was the name
of the airline again?
I think it was something
like flights r' us.
Was the "r" backwards?
God, I hope not.
Geez.
Stupid smart carts.
More like dumb carts.
If we miss this flight,
it's all barney's fault.
You know, barney never
would have run the marathon
In the first place if marshall
hadn't broken his toe.
Yeah, so?
What, you think
this is my fault?
For marshall, the initial idea
To run the marathon came
way back in April.
My pants are starting
to feel a little tight.
Oh, that's okay.
I love that cute little belly.
I cannot allow this.
What?
I am going to run
the new york city marathon.
(john cafferty's
"heart's on fire" playing)
Lily:
"it is important to load up
"on carbohydrates two
to four hours before a big run.
"Try a breakfast
"of a bagel, a banana,
Oatmeal, strawberries
and some orange juice."
Here you go, marshmallow.
Just like the book said.
Yeah, but from now on,
I'm eating all of my
breakfast runner-style.
Liquids are digested faster.
That way, no energy is wasted,
And it's all about the run.
(whirring)
♪ hearts on fire
♪ strong desire
♪ rages deep within
♪ hearts on fire
♪ fever's rising high...
(retching)
♪ the moment
the truth draws near... ♪
"Don't forget to
give yourself plenty
Of positive
reinforcement."
This is gonna be
your best run yet.
You're going
to accomplish all of your goals.
(staccato rhythm):
You are a robot sent
From the future
to win the marathon!
You are... Marshall.
You are...
Marshall.
You are marshall!
Yeah!
♪ Rules and regulations
have no meaning anymore... ♪
"Chafing or blisters can occur
"in a number of areas,
"including the feet, armpits,
"or even the nipples.
"Try using some petroleum jelly
On the affected areas."
(sighs)
(groans)
(panting)
Oh.
Oh...
(panting)
Oh!
Oh, gosh!
(exhales loudly)
Oh.
Oh.
Ah.
Oh!
(exhales)
Dude, you are a terrific runner.
Tomorrow you're gonna run
And finish
the new york city marathon!
You're the best.
You look good.
Nobody does it better than you.
Marshall?
Oh, my god!
What? Aah!
(thudding)
So, yes, it was your fault.
I mean, if you don't
show up at the apartment
In the middle of the day,
marshall doesn't break his toe,
Barney doesn't run in his place,
I don't jump the turnstile
and get a court date,
And we make our flight
in plenty of time!
(thudding) oh!
And I don't fall down
And bite my tongue
at the airport.
That really wasn't my fault.
I wouldn't have walked in
on marshall
If it weren't for lily.
Hey, think about it.
Hey, what's going on here?
Oh, looks like they're
camping out for something.
Yeah, but for what?
I don't know.
Usually there's a stormtrooper
or klingon in line
To give you some indication.
Hmm.
"Annual wedding dress blowout."
"Designer sample dresses
up to 90% off."
Whoa.
"Doors open tomorrow,
8:00 a.M." oh, my god.
Can you believe what
some nut bags will do
To save a few bucks?
Geez.
We have to camp out.
Are you serious?
You don't understand.
This is an amazing sale.
I've heard about it before, but
I never knew where it was.
(gasps) we'll have a
wedding dress campout.
It'll be fun.
I can't go.
I've got this thing.
What thing?
A penis.
This is the place.
Oh, wow.
Badgley mischka!
Melissa sweet!
(gasping) vera wang!
Oh, robin, do you have any idea
What you guys
stumbled onto here?
(giggles) you said wang.
Oh!
Oh, this reminds me
Of the ticket line
to lilith fair, 1998.
(laughs) only fewer mullets.
You should feel good.
You're only, like, the tenth
Craziest bride in new york.
(laughs)
(sighs)
Ooh, this is comfy.
We might actually
be able to sleep.
(car alarm blaring)
That's kind of annoying.
Well, I'm sure somebody
will be out here
To turn it off any minute.
(sighs)
(car alarm blaring)
I don't think I can take this.
Every time it
turns off, I think,
Oh, maybe
it won't turn on again,
But then it does.
Why does it, robin?
Why does it keep turning on?
It's gonna be okay,
sweetie. Why...
Why don't we make a game
out of it, okay?
Why don't we sing along?
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh!
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Both:
♪ ooh...!
♪ Ooh!
♪ Mah, mah, mah, mah...
(crying):
Oh, no.
(alarm continues blaring)
If we get through this,
I swear I'm gonna live
my life differently.
I just want to tell my parents
I love them one more time.
(car alarm chirps)
Morning, ladies.
It's him. It's
the car guy!
Get out of here!
(all shouting at once)
Hey! Ow!
(shouting continues)
Ted: The next morning,
robin was too tired
To go all the way back
to brooklyn,
So while I was at work,
she went to crash
At my apartment
for a couple hours,
And that's when...
Nobody does it better than you.
Marshall?!
Oh, my god!
What? Aah!
(thudding)
So if lily hadn't dragged me
down to the wedding dress store,
We would have made
the first flight.
Oh, thank god. The
doors are still open.
We made it.
Oh.
Hi. Please.
We really need to
get on this flight.
Oh, my god!
You're that reporter
from metro news 1.
Yes, yes, I am.
I can't believe
you recognized me.
You did that story on the
giant pizzas, huh? Yeah.
Would you check to see
If you have any more seats?
One moment, sir.
Were those pizzas real?
Come on, were they?
Robin...
One second, ted.
Um, you know, a lot
of people ask me that.
The truth is,
the pizzas were real.
Calzones. Trick photography.
I knew it!
God, it is so nice to meet a fan!
Ah.
And I would be a fan
of your work
If you could get us two seats
on that next flight.
Well, the, uh, flight attendants
Are just finishing up
their final seat count.
Let me see what I can find out.
Would it help if I got on
And gave an impassioned speech
about my destiny?
I think it might hurt.
This is such a nightmare.
Okay, so we agree?
This goes back to lily
wanting to camp out
For a wedding dress?
No.
Wait. It goes back further.
Remember why we were eating
hot dogs on the east side?
(subway car whirring)
(quiet grunt)
1939?!
This penny's from 1939!
A 67-year-old penny.
Do you realize this
penny was minted
During world war ii?
Oh, so was my grandfather,
But that doesn't make him
interesting.
Look, I know a little
something about coins,
And this baby is worth
something to a collector.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is!
You know what?
I'm gonna take you out to dinner
With the money I get
for this little guy.
And that's exactly what I did.
You're lucky there's still
a place that serves anything
For a dollar fifty.
Hey, that's 150 times
its original value.
Actually, the meal
was only $1.49.
1984.
Hey, in 50 years,
we can get dinner again.
How dare you.
(giggles)
Hey, what's going on?
I don't know. Looks like they're
camping out for something.
Yeah, but for what?
It was me.
I started this.
If I hadn't picked up that
penny, we wouldn't have gone
To get hot dogs
all the way across town.
Robin: And we wouldn't have
seen that wedding dress store,
Lily wouldn't have wanted
to camp out there,
And I wouldn't have needed
A nap at your apartment
the next day.
Ted: Marshall wouldn't
have broken his toe.
Barney wouldn't have run
the marathon.
I wouldn't have jumped
that turnstile,
Gotten arrested,
had that court date...
And we would have made our flight.
Oh!
I don't think we can go
back any further than that
Unless you know who
dropped the penny.
I wish I did.
Though that person's already
been punished enough,
Losing a sweet penny like that.
Uh, sir?
Oh, please tell me
you have some good news.
Uh, I'm afraid not. (sighs)
There are no extra
seats on the plane.
I'm sorry.
All, right, well,
thanks for trying.
I can't believe this.
That's it, it's over.
Ted, come on.
Your destiny
Just wasn't to make
it to chicago today.
Anyway, if that firm
really wants you,
They'll reschedule.
Ted:
But that's not what happened.
They didn't reschedule.
They hired someone else.
And as it turned out,
three months later,
That guy ended up having
to relocate to chicago.
Kids, funny thing
about destiny...
I thought I was destined
to get that job.
But I was wrong.
My destiny was to stay
in new york.
Because if I hadn't,
I never would have met
your mother.
(subway car chugging
and whooshing)
the power of destiny.
Because when you
least expect it,
The littlest thing
can cause a ripple effect
That changes your life.
Take for instance
my trip to chicago.
That security guard
was a little bit handsy.
That's funny. She
barely touched me.
Uh, gate 23.
Come on.
If we miss this flight,
I will never forgive myself.
Why was this flight
so important?
Let's back up a few months
to the fall of 2006.
I had just sold my first
building design
And become the youngest project
manager in my firm's history.
Suddenly I was being headhunted.
One firm was even considering me
To run their
entire new york office.
They were flying me in
for a final interview
At their corporate headquarters
in chicago.
It was the opportunity
of a lifetime.
It was my destiny.
There was just one problem.
Hi, wait, two more.
Sorry, you're too late,
I already shut the doors.
Well, I'm sure if we pull
real hard we can open them.
Hmm, I wish it
worked like that, but see,
Once I close
those doors, that's it.
Nobody else is allowed
down that jet-way.
Except for that guy.
Please, if-if
I miss this flight,
I'll miss the chance to
interview for my dream job.
I'm sorry, sir.
His dream job!
Didn't you ever
have a dream job?
Something from when
you were a little girl,
That was all you wanted to do?
I mean, for god's sakes,
I'm sure you didn't
Go to bed at night
dreaming about being a...
I mean, uh...
This is a cool job.
Please, I have to be
on this flight.
I'll see what I can do.
But it doesn't look good.
Thanks.
Your uniforms are pretty.
Okay.
They haven't
armed the doors yet,
So you still have a chance.
It's up to the captain now
and they're calling us back.
Great, please let us know
soon as you hear anything.
Sure, and for the future,
we recommend you arrive
At the airport an hour and
a half before your flight,
Not, you know, one minute after.
Normally,
I'm incredibly responsible.
I just had to go to court
this morning and get sentenced.
Not that I'm
a criminal or anything.
Yeah, he just jumped
a subway turnstile.
You seem to have
a lot of problems
With the rules of travel.
(phone rings)
Hello?
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Oh, that is great news.
It's my mom...
She found her missing earring.
Have a seat.
I'll call you
when I hear something.
Where was it?
That thing better
have call waiting.
Could you just call the firm
And explain what happened?
It's down to three
people and I know
They need to make
their decision today.
I sort of feel my not showing up
might put me at a disadvantage.
(laughing):
I'm so stupid.
Why did I have
to jump that turnstile?
Hey, don't be so
hard on yourself.
And isn't this whole thing
really barney's fault?
She had a point.
It was kind of barney's fault.
Remember?
Let's back up a few months.
Oh, marshall,
how's the broken toe?
Oh, man, it kills.
You want some aspirin, baby?
You know I don't believe
in pain killers.
Wow, your first broken bone.
Kind of kills your whole
"unbreakable" theory.
Marshall used to think
He was indestructible.
Well, it added up.
I've never broken anything.
I've never been sick,
And when I need to, I can summon
Incredible strength.
Ted, tell her the story
of the really heavy door.
There was a really heavy door.
He opened it.
On one pull.
Whoo!
Well, you must be really bummed,
You're not gonna
be able to run tomorrow.
Yeah. It sucks,
all that work
I put in training for the
marathon was a total waste.
Training for a marathon.
What?
You don't need
to train for a marathon.
You just run it.
You're kidding, right?
Not at all.
I could run a marathon
anytime I wanted to.
So like tomorrow,
You think you could
wake up, roll out of bed,
And just run
the new york city marathon?
Absolutely.
Barney, we're talking
about 42 kilometers.
Thanks, canada.
I'll take it from here.
Barney, it's like 26 miles.
Here's how you run a marathon.
Step one, you start running.
There is no step two.
Okay, you know what?
Prove it.
Take my number
And run in my place.
I will bet you
50 bucks you don't
even finish the race.
50 bucks?
Gee, grandpa, if I win,
Maybe I can buy myself
an ice-cream cone.
Make it $10,000.
You have a gambling problem.
You'll bet me 50.
Fine, then no bet.
Okay, $50.
The next morning,
as the marathon began,
We were focused
on marshall's computer.
Each runner gets a tracking chip
So you can follow them online,
See when they pass certain
checkpoints.
Barney's got mine in his shoe.
Ooh, he's starting!
(chuckling):
This ought to be good.
Marshall:
Wow.
He's already passing
the second checkpoint.
This tracking thing is amazing.
When we get married,
You're getting one of these.
Robin:
Wow.
Look at his time.
It's pretty impressive.
He's gotta be cheating, okay.
He knew we'd check.
Yeah, he'll do anything
to win a bet.
Remember that time he bet me
That men at work sang
"hungry like the wolf,"
And when he found out
that they didn't,
He tried to hire them to?
Well, it looks like,
"barney" should be coming
over the queensboro bridge
And up first avenue
within the next hour or so.
But... There is no way that
that's really him.
It's really him.
Hey! That's mine.
Yeah, you'd better run!
What up, non-finishers?
Wow.
Amazing. Wow. Very
impressive, barney.
Right?
Wow.
Yeah, my time would have been
Like a hour an hour better,
But I met this total hottie
on mile seven.
We took a quick detour
And had our own mini marathon
behind a nathan's.
I won.
I'm not sure anyone
in that story is a winner.
So where's my 50 bucks?
All right.
(chuckles)
I got to admit, you earned this.
Huh?
Can't believe they haven't made
a coin for this yet.
Anyway,
I'm heading home.
Might go hit the gym.
Oh, hey, just so you know, uh,
All marathon runners get
To use the subway
for free today.
Wow. You know I really should
check out this "subway."
Heard so much about it.
Wow.
Look at me. Slumming it.
Maybe I'll make
a weekend out of it
And I'll call my bridge
and tunnel girl tonight.
You're dating a girl
from new jersey?
No.
(phone ringing)
so barney did it.
He actually finished
the marathon.
But a little while later...
I got an interesting phone call.
Hello?
Ted, it's barney.
Listen to me, I need you to come
and pick me up on the subway.
What, what are you talking
about?
I was sitting here, totally
minding my own business.
Finisher.
Yeah, you know, what I mean.
Man (over p.A.):
86th street.
My legs don't work.
I've already ridden the subway
Twice end to end.
I've seen where it turns around.
Ted, you don't ever want to see
where the subway turns around.
Barney's legs won't work.
He's riding the subway
From end to end
because he physically
Can't get off the train.
Best 50 bucks I ever spent.
Listen to me, ted.
I'm going to lose you
any second.
I'm on the fourth car
of the six train heading south
From pelham bay park
in the bronx.
Meet me at the 86th street
station in, like, half an hour?
All right.
I'll be right there.
Stay where you are.
Ted, ted.
Oh, come on.
You're not even going to
give up your seat for him?
I'm sorry. I can't.
Douche.
Barney?!
Ted!
Hey!
(grunting)
No...!
See?
If barney never tried
to run the marathon,
You never would have
jumped that turnstile,
You wouldn't have had
that court date today,
And we would have
made this flight.
You're right.
Everything can be traced back
to him.
Like that rash we all got
at christmas.
All right, I have
to see what's going on.
So I was able
to get you two seats.
Really? That's great!
No, no, not you.
I'm talking to my mom
about blue man group.
Ma, can I call you back?
Okay, what about our
flight? Can we get on?
I'm still waiting for...
Huh.
Looks like your flight left
already.
What? No, n-n-n-no, n-no.
I have to be in chicago today.
Well, he never even
called you back?
Well, it's typical pilot.
They don't call you back at work
and they don't call you back
After you spend two nights with
them at a radisson in orlando.
It turned out
there was one other flight
That would just barely get me
to chicago on time
For my job interview,
But it was all the way on
the other side of the airport.
Robin: What was the name
of the airline again?
I think it was something
like flights r' us.
Was the "r" backwards?
God, I hope not.
Geez.
Stupid smart carts.
More like dumb carts.
If we miss this flight,
it's all barney's fault.
You know, barney never
would have run the marathon
In the first place if marshall
hadn't broken his toe.
Yeah, so?
What, you think
this is my fault?
For marshall, the initial idea
To run the marathon came
way back in April.
My pants are starting
to feel a little tight.
Oh, that's okay.
I love that cute little belly.
I cannot allow this.
What?
I am going to run
the new york city marathon.
(john cafferty's
"heart's on fire" playing)
Lily:
"it is important to load up
"on carbohydrates two
to four hours before a big run.
"Try a breakfast
"of a bagel, a banana,
Oatmeal, strawberries
and some orange juice."
Here you go, marshmallow.
Just like the book said.
Yeah, but from now on,
I'm eating all of my
breakfast runner-style.
Liquids are digested faster.
That way, no energy is wasted,
And it's all about the run.
(whirring)
♪ hearts on fire
♪ strong desire
♪ rages deep within
♪ hearts on fire
♪ fever's rising high...
(retching)
♪ the moment
the truth draws near... ♪
"Don't forget to
give yourself plenty
Of positive
reinforcement."
This is gonna be
your best run yet.
You're going
to accomplish all of your goals.
(staccato rhythm):
You are a robot sent
From the future
to win the marathon!
You are... Marshall.
You are...
Marshall.
You are marshall!
Yeah!
♪ Rules and regulations
have no meaning anymore... ♪
"Chafing or blisters can occur
"in a number of areas,
"including the feet, armpits,
"or even the nipples.
"Try using some petroleum jelly
On the affected areas."
(sighs)
(groans)
(panting)
Oh.
Oh...
(panting)
Oh!
Oh, gosh!
(exhales loudly)
Oh.
Oh.
Ah.
Oh!
(exhales)
Dude, you are a terrific runner.
Tomorrow you're gonna run
And finish
the new york city marathon!
You're the best.
You look good.
Nobody does it better than you.
Marshall?
Oh, my god!
What? Aah!
(thudding)
So, yes, it was your fault.
I mean, if you don't
show up at the apartment
In the middle of the day,
marshall doesn't break his toe,
Barney doesn't run in his place,
I don't jump the turnstile
and get a court date,
And we make our flight
in plenty of time!
(thudding) oh!
And I don't fall down
And bite my tongue
at the airport.
That really wasn't my fault.
I wouldn't have walked in
on marshall
If it weren't for lily.
Hey, think about it.
Hey, what's going on here?
Oh, looks like they're
camping out for something.
Yeah, but for what?
I don't know.
Usually there's a stormtrooper
or klingon in line
To give you some indication.
Hmm.
"Annual wedding dress blowout."
"Designer sample dresses
up to 90% off."
Whoa.
"Doors open tomorrow,
8:00 a.M." oh, my god.
Can you believe what
some nut bags will do
To save a few bucks?
Geez.
We have to camp out.
Are you serious?
You don't understand.
This is an amazing sale.
I've heard about it before, but
I never knew where it was.
(gasps) we'll have a
wedding dress campout.
It'll be fun.
I can't go.
I've got this thing.
What thing?
A penis.
This is the place.
Oh, wow.
Badgley mischka!
Melissa sweet!
(gasping) vera wang!
Oh, robin, do you have any idea
What you guys
stumbled onto here?
(giggles) you said wang.
Oh!
Oh, this reminds me
Of the ticket line
to lilith fair, 1998.
(laughs) only fewer mullets.
You should feel good.
You're only, like, the tenth
Craziest bride in new york.
(laughs)
(sighs)
Ooh, this is comfy.
We might actually
be able to sleep.
(car alarm blaring)
That's kind of annoying.
Well, I'm sure somebody
will be out here
To turn it off any minute.
(sighs)
(car alarm blaring)
I don't think I can take this.
Every time it
turns off, I think,
Oh, maybe
it won't turn on again,
But then it does.
Why does it, robin?
Why does it keep turning on?
It's gonna be okay,
sweetie. Why...
Why don't we make a game
out of it, okay?
Why don't we sing along?
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh!
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Both:
♪ ooh...!
♪ Ooh!
♪ Mah, mah, mah, mah...
(crying):
Oh, no.
(alarm continues blaring)
If we get through this,
I swear I'm gonna live
my life differently.
I just want to tell my parents
I love them one more time.
(car alarm chirps)
Morning, ladies.
It's him. It's
the car guy!
Get out of here!
(all shouting at once)
Hey! Ow!
(shouting continues)
Ted: The next morning,
robin was too tired
To go all the way back
to brooklyn,
So while I was at work,
she went to crash
At my apartment
for a couple hours,
And that's when...
Nobody does it better than you.
Marshall?!
Oh, my god!
What? Aah!
(thudding)
So if lily hadn't dragged me
down to the wedding dress store,
We would have made
the first flight.
Oh, thank god. The
doors are still open.
We made it.
Oh.
Hi. Please.
We really need to
get on this flight.
Oh, my god!
You're that reporter
from metro news 1.
Yes, yes, I am.
I can't believe
you recognized me.
You did that story on the
giant pizzas, huh? Yeah.
Would you check to see
If you have any more seats?
One moment, sir.
Were those pizzas real?
Come on, were they?
Robin...
One second, ted.
Um, you know, a lot
of people ask me that.
The truth is,
the pizzas were real.
Calzones. Trick photography.
I knew it!
God, it is so nice to meet a fan!
Ah.
And I would be a fan
of your work
If you could get us two seats
on that next flight.
Well, the, uh, flight attendants
Are just finishing up
their final seat count.
Let me see what I can find out.
Would it help if I got on
And gave an impassioned speech
about my destiny?
I think it might hurt.
This is such a nightmare.
Okay, so we agree?
This goes back to lily
wanting to camp out
For a wedding dress?
No.
Wait. It goes back further.
Remember why we were eating
hot dogs on the east side?
(subway car whirring)
(quiet grunt)
1939?!
This penny's from 1939!
A 67-year-old penny.
Do you realize this
penny was minted
During world war ii?
Oh, so was my grandfather,
But that doesn't make him
interesting.
Look, I know a little
something about coins,
And this baby is worth
something to a collector.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is!
You know what?
I'm gonna take you out to dinner
With the money I get
for this little guy.
And that's exactly what I did.
You're lucky there's still
a place that serves anything
For a dollar fifty.
Hey, that's 150 times
its original value.
Actually, the meal
was only $1.49.
1984.
Hey, in 50 years,
we can get dinner again.
How dare you.
(giggles)
Hey, what's going on?
I don't know. Looks like they're
camping out for something.
Yeah, but for what?
It was me.
I started this.
If I hadn't picked up that
penny, we wouldn't have gone
To get hot dogs
all the way across town.
Robin: And we wouldn't have
seen that wedding dress store,
Lily wouldn't have wanted
to camp out there,
And I wouldn't have needed
A nap at your apartment
the next day.
Ted: Marshall wouldn't
have broken his toe.
Barney wouldn't have run
the marathon.
I wouldn't have jumped
that turnstile,
Gotten arrested,
had that court date...
And we would have made our flight.
Oh!
I don't think we can go
back any further than that
Unless you know who
dropped the penny.
I wish I did.
Though that person's already
been punished enough,
Losing a sweet penny like that.
Uh, sir?
Oh, please tell me
you have some good news.
Uh, I'm afraid not. (sighs)
There are no extra
seats on the plane.
I'm sorry.
All, right, well,
thanks for trying.
I can't believe this.
That's it, it's over.
Ted, come on.
Your destiny
Just wasn't to make
it to chicago today.
Anyway, if that firm
really wants you,
They'll reschedule.
Ted:
But that's not what happened.
They didn't reschedule.
They hired someone else.
And as it turned out,
three months later,
That guy ended up having
to relocate to chicago.
Kids, funny thing
about destiny...
I thought I was destined
to get that job.
But I was wrong.
My destiny was to stay
in new york.
Because if I hadn't,
I never would have met
your mother.
(subway car chugging
and whooshing)