House of Lies (2012–2016): Season 3, Episode 7 - Pushback - full transcript
Marty and Jeannie have different approaches on how to deal with Lukas. The relationship between Roscoe and Lex becomes a problem for Marty.
Previously on House of Lies...
MARTY:
To the Soldier Sneaker line.
All right.
The brand expansion
that's gonna take DollaHyde
to the next level. Yes.
I'll drink to that.
Sky's the limit, man.
ROSCOE:
Dad, we do have a problem.
You're calling me
and Lex a circus.
JEANNIE: Not putting all your
eggs in the Marty Kaan basket.
That was smart.
Marissa, I can get you the whole
McClintock Media Group.
But you have to do exactly
what I tell you to do.
(slurring):
Listen, motherfucker.
- Me?
- I killed your dog.
What the fuck
you talking about, man?
Lukas wanted me to let
you know he knows.
- He knows what?
- About how you and Dre
are trying to push him out
- his own company.
- Jesus, come on, listen.
Uh-huh, that's right.
LUKAS:
Dre intends to move on
without me, doesn't he?
At least,
that's the plan, right?
ROSCOE:
I'm gonna get out of this!
LEX: Is that all you got, little man?
(Roscoe grunting)
LEX: Come on, pretty boy,
you got more than that.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, you have
five minutes to change, okay?
And don't bullshit me
'cause I will leave without you.
ROSCOE:
I like this outfit.
- No. No, you don't.
- Aw, God.
Can I help you?
(laughs) Apparently not.
Four minutes, 19 seconds.
Going.
The kid's amazing, Marty.
Uh-huh.
He's, like, the nicest guy ever.
The fuck is this?
Uh, that's about to
be your last meal.
No Cheetos?
Dude, if I had
millions of dollars,
I'd have all kinds of Cheetos.
Yeah, that's why you don't have
millions of dollars.
Hey. Fly?
Nice.
Hey, check this out.
Turn around.
MARTY:
Hey, Roscoe?
Can I talk to you around
the corner for a second, buddy?
Strike two.
What is going on, man?
You've been dressing
your own self
since you were 18 months old.
So what?
So why are you taking
fashion advice
from Boys Don't Cry in there?
Because he's my girlfriend.
Oh.
What, Dad?!
Roscoe.
What?
Listen.
You have always been the kid
who's made good choices, okay?
She's not worth you losing that.
She's not. What?
Because you said she's not.
I think he's the first person
who's ever really gotten me.
Really?
'Cause I think
I get you, Roscoe.
I know you.
And you are losing
yourself to this thing.
Oh, so first Lex and I were
just a circus.
And now we're a thing.
Good to know.
You know, Dad,
you've never asked me once
what I think
about my relationship.
What do you think
of your relationship, Roscoe?
Huh? Okay?
Because I think
Lex found herself
a good kid and decided to drag
him down to her level.
Now, you can ignore me if that
makes you feel like a man
or whatever, but don't come
crying to me when this thing
blows up in your face.
Don't worry, Dad.
I won't 'cause you won't
even be here anyway.
She's at the door, smart-ass.
Let's go.
(door closes)
MARTY:
Lukas knows the deal, okay?
So we can just put
all our cards on the table.
No more asking, man.
No more plotting.
We just force his ass out.
Guns blazing.
Marty, listen to me.
I'm telling you.
It's gonna be
a beautiful fucking day
once DollaHyde finally
reaches its potential.
Uh, Dre, there's
something happening...
What?
(indistinct chatter)
What the fuck?
WOMAN: Lukas said we could
take whatever we want.
Oh, hell no!
Give me an hour.
Hey, what are you guys doing?!
Where are you going
with those boxes?
Nigga, where's you going
with my tree?
(indistinct chatter)
DOUG:
Oh, my God, are you kidding me?
This is like Anatevka at the end
of Fiddler on the Roof.
CLYDE: I swear to God,
Doug, if you start singing,
I will kick you in
the fucking taint.
That's unnecessary.
All right, kiddies, listen up.
Little kiddies, spread out.
See if you can identify
anyone who might
come back in here tomorrow
with a high-capacity magazine.
Go.
Is that possible?
Big kiddies,
suck it the fuck up, okay?
This is the job.
We're gonna turn
this shit around.
Okay, and let's remember,
even if we don't, one of us
is bringing in the sixth largest
media conglomerate
in the world. (groans)
Bringing! Not brought.
Until you can say "brought," you
need to give it a rest, Clyde.
Yeah. Jesus, okay. Consider me resting.
Resting my ass on your lips...
Marty!
...when I close McClintock!
Get that shit out my way.
Marty!
I just got a text from
that motherfucker Lukas.
He says and I quote,
"I would love to
attend the meeting,
"but due to recent tragic
events, I'll be at home
interviewing
Chihuahua breeders."
CLYDE:
Oh, no.
Okay, I'm almost positive
that dog was jaundiced.
Probably diabetic. Listen, I
got to get the fuck out of here
or I'm gonna lose my
goddamn mind! I hear you.
You see this fucking place?
Let's go to my office.
What was a dog doing at a
club anyway? Is that how you...
If I didn't kill him,
the secondhand smoke would've.
(elevator bell dings)
At the end of the day, Lukas is
just hurting himself, okay?
JEFFREY: We can launch
a pro forma death march.
Wrap Lukas in so much red tape
that he chokes on his own vomit.
So creepy.
And of course we'll run
a multivariate test
to optimize outcomes. Boom!
Don't do that boom, no.
No?
Listen, whatever Lukas's move,
we ean counter.
The IPO could
realistically
land near-term.
Why don't we sit down
with your CFO?
And we put some numbers
on the damage?
We know exactly where we stand.
You know, I'd really love that.
But Lukas got rid of him first.
Am I missing something?
Can't you just hire back
the people he's fired?
And pay them with what?
There's a double
signatory required
on all outgoing checks.
Dre, our end state vision
for DollaHyde remains...
Aw, fuck me!
Jeannie.
Marty, this shit
got me shook, man.
Lukas already fired
half the senior staff.
He shut down production,
canceled orders,
and stopped payments.
Now, look, I'm doing
everything I can
in terms of damage control,
but there's not gonna be
a goddamn DollaHyde
unless y'all fix
this shit, stat!
Dre? I understand
that you are upset, okay?
Oh, he understands I'm pissed.
And this is very...
Look, walk with me, okay?
Look, I got shit
to do, all right?
Dre, just walk with me.
Look, the more time
you spend panicking,
the less time we
have to do our jobs.
Fuck, Marty, all right?
This was my life.
And this motherfucker
is winning the war.
No, he's not. He's winning
a tiny little battle, okay?
He's acting like a baby
having a tantrum in his crib.
Yeah, but I look around and my
whole kingdom is coming apart.
It's a flesh wound, Dre.
(laughs) Flesh wound.
Sit down.
Come on, sit down.
Fuck.
Listen to me.
I have reached in and pulled
the beating hearts
out of far scarier
motherfucker3
than Lukas Frye, believe me.
(laughs)
Goddamn.
I'm telling you, you're gonna
run the world one of these days.
I already do.
Look around.
Listen.
Lukas loves money a lot
more than he hates you.
This is true.
All right, I see you got a play.
Always.
Have a Red Vine.
They're fat free.
JEANNIE: Until Lukas co-signs
on these payments again,
this is volunteer work.
I think you know how I feel
about volunteer work.
Yeah, she hates it.
She hates it all.
It's true.
Yeah.
She know she once sued
Habitat for Humanity
to keep poor people
out of her neighborhood.
It's true.
Fuck off, I did not.
But if we don't do
something soon,
I'm gonna be poor people.
On a related note,
the McClintock family
could not be less poor.
I'm not sure you understand
"related notes."
(laughs) Don't laugh.
That's not worth laughing at,
and I don't think you understand
the McClintock...
Shut the fuck up, Clyde!
For real?
Yeah, kind of burns a little
on the way down doesn't it?
Hey, is it cool
if we get to work
or does Dre need another hug?
Lukas will not be coming to us,
so we are going to go to Lukas.
Jeffrey, Caitlin, set that up.
Together?
Happy to.
Yeah, we're closing this buyout
today.
Done like dinner.
Why?
Um, because Dre is our client.
He paid us money, so
he gets what he wants.
That's how it works, Jeannie.
Ooh, quick trip back to reality.
The company is our client.
The company paid us money.
The company in which
Lukas and Dre
are equal partners.
Wow. (laughs)
For a second there I thought
you weren't gonna figure out
a way to make
this whole giant clusterfuck
about your hurt feelings.
Instead of rubbing our palms
together and thinking of new
and inventive ways
we could fuck Lukas over,
I think what we should
be asking ourselves
is who does
the company need more?
Doug?
Doug?
Doug.
Doug! He's not gonna like... Doug!
Okay, yeah.
At-at Jeannie's request, okay,
I drafted two
models showing
the five-year projections
of DollaHyde's viability.
One with Dre at the helm
and Lukas out. (gasps)
And the other reversed.
Ooh!
Uh, the numbers are
comparable, Marty.
Oh, my God, are they
also comparable, Will?
If there is no clear
financial advantage
to forcing Lukas out,
why should we spend time on it?
When we go to Lukas today,
our goal should be
to get him back in the business,
just under different terms.
A big part
of their brand appeal is
the whole
"best friends get rich" story.
People eat that shit up, Marty.
Okay, let the record show that
all the kiddies have been heard.
(laughs) However.
However, Lukas is precisely
the kind of liability
that you don't need
haunting the halls
when the distributors go digging
through your financials.
That's one key piece
that you left out
of your sound analysis, Jeannie.
Well, technically, it was
my sound analysis...
Do I look like I give
a fuck, Doug?
We have one job:
Lukas has got to go.
You on board with that?
Just as a wrap-up,
though:
I did have the better
of the two plays,
but because you
have veto power,
we're gonna toss mine?
Cool, that sounds great.
I'm on board.
Thank you for the support.
(clears throat)
Jeannie Beannie, William, Doug,
you're coming with me.
No.
Jeannie Bean, Clyde, Doug,
can go with you.
I need Will on the journeyline.
Doesn't Clyde have
an imaginary
girlfriend's account
that he needs to be working on?
In two weeks,
the McClintock media empire
will be jizzing money
into this office. Ew.
Yeah. No father
figure at home.
That's what happens.
(music playing in distance)
Ooh...
Would you look at that?
Ah, he's chipper.
JEANNIE: Of course
he is. It's dick math.
DOUG:
Dick math?
Mm-hmm. We tried
to dick Lukas over,
which was, admittedly,
a dick move.
MARTY:
And now he's dicking us over
by proving that he can waste
our time and money.
So we have to come
to his house,
hat in hand, begging.
MARTY:
That's right.
Which, in his mind,
proves that he is the dick
with the biggest dick of all
and we are just...
OTHERS:
Pussies.
Ta-da!
(music stops)
(clears throat)
Lukas Frye suffers from
a socioeconomic disease
known as...
hood rich.
Now, this condition
presents itself in many ways,
but there are
a few common symptoms
which indicate you are
in the presence
of someone with full blown.
I-never-really-got-out-
of-the-ghetto-itis.
More cars than novels.
Ah!
Disapproving white neighbors.
And gold.
Now, I am no psychic,
but I'm willing to bet
this fucking monstrosity
is lousy with the crap.
Now, unfortunately,
there is no known cure
for hood rich...
so we all gots to suffer.
Come on...
what the fuck?
(laughing) I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My bad.
DOUG:
Hey, Lukas!
Hi. Doug Guggenheim.
Ah, fuck youggenheim.
(laughter)
LUKAS:
Aw, shit, y'all.
If it ain't Marty Kaan
and Associates in this bitch.
What's up, niggas?
Oh, God, wait.
So if I respond, is it the same
as if I actually said...
Don't overthink it.
Lukas, thank you for seeing us.
I know you got a lot going on.
Nah, man, I ain't
got nothing going on.
We ain't doing
nothing but chillin'
like a motherfucker
in this bitch.
What's happening, boss lady?
Oh, um, this house
is really beautiful.
The artwork's great.
Yeah, thank you.
That's some cheap shit I got
from the Michael
Jackson auction.
Seconds after, you
wouldn't believe it.
Seconds after he died?
LUKAS: Hey, man, I said seconds after.
That's all I said.
You talk a lot, huh?
It's a great crip.
Crib. Buh.
The theme of this room is, uh,
Biblical Bullshit, man.
If Jesus were to have
his last supper today,
he would sit at this
motherfucking table.
I could seat a small village
or a large project,
whichever I choose.
Hello, Miss Lady.
This is, uh,
Moroccan tile right here.
These are stone pillars.
They came from...
they came from Rome,
just like in
the Coliseum and shit.
These are my panthers,
this is my pool,
these are my bitches.
You walked right past
my Trevi Fountain.
(laughs)
Ta-da!
Catfish pond, bitches.
Would you look at that? Oh ho!
LUKAS:
I mean, real live catfish
imported from Savannah
Sweetwater Creek.
Now, what nigga you know living
like that?
Honestly?
Not a one.
Ah!
Ah!
(laughing)
Hood rich.
Nihito Arakawa....
MARTY:
Listen.
Dre fucked up, Lukas.
Okay?
We fucked up.
We know we fucked up.
But the bottom line is,
neither one of you can really
make a move without the other.
Now, Lukas, uh,
we can assure you
that the buy-out price
is well above
actual market value
of your shares.
JEANNIE:
You will walk away
with a hell of a lot more
than you have right now.
CLYDE:
Just sayin', man.
All that extra cash
floating around,
you could finally start up
that sneaker line of yours.
Hey...
What do you say?
(chuckles) I'm liking this guy
already. He's growing on me.
He's telling me that I can take
money that I make
and use it to buy things.
That shit's going
in my diary tonight.
JEANNIE (sotto voce):
Nice.
We don't want to overwhelm him
with too many good ideas. Got it.
Man, you brought this
Ivy League Ashkenazi
all the way over here,
and that's the best
financial advice he got?
Hey, yo, Lukas. LUKAS: Mm-hmm?
Man, the Jews is fallin' off.
Hey, man.
Inappropriate.
Every goddamn time.
Rachel Cohen broke his heart
in middle school
and he's still bitter.
Oh.
Don't take that Jewish
shit personal.
You ign'ant.
Man, shut the fuck up.
Thank you, Vernon.
Thank you for having my back.
Nigga, I'm Vernon.
That's Foxx.
And thank you, Foxx.
So what are you thinking?
I'm thinking Dre must be
extremely desperate.
But I'm not accepting
his welfare, no thank you.
You have two options, okay?
You can sell your part...
Oh, no, I'm intrigued.
Please, continue.
You can sell your
part of the business...
Mm-hmm... and live like a fucking god,
or you can just sit on your ass
while the whole thing
burns down to the ground,
at which point you're
gonna make, you know,
50% of not-a-fucking...
What is this?
Lukas, do you want to stay
mad or do you want to stay...
rich?
LUKAS:
You see, I already know
how they look on me.
I choose based on
how I think they will look
in the morning.
Smart.
That's fabulous.
Okay, we're out of here, guys.
Uh, homies, hoes...
it's been real.
Excuse me, Lukas. How you gonna
disrespect my homies like that.
(laughs)
LUKAS:
Hey, man.
Come on, man, y'all bring
your motherfucking asses back.
You suburban-ass niggas,
y'all quit all easy and shit.
Probably 'cause you ain't
never had to work for nothing.
Had everything given
to you all your life.
Oh. But I see 50 mil.
Ol' boy came with it.
(chuckles)
Yeah. Suburban-ass niggas
write big boy checks.
Okay. So can we
close this deal?
Or do you have some more
naked women coming by to, uh,
model your gold chain
wear for the evening?
I was hoping for at least one.
You look awfully nice today.
I look nice every day.
That's irrelevant.
I guess.
I'll pass. MARTY: Doug.
I get it.
We fucked up so you don't want
to play ball.
The fuck is that?
Oh. That's the DollaHyde
financial report.
The real one.
The one that can get
you thrown right back in prison.
If I go down, Dre goes
down with me. That's great.
You two can be cellmates.
Prison for a nigga like me, man,
like a family reunion. CHRIS: True.
Keith over there at
Lompoc right now.
And G and them in Atwater.
Shit. Atwater got
icecream sandwiches.
What?
Mint chocolate chip?
They got Neapolitan. Goddamn.
Damn, sign me up.
Marty, take me now.
There's a prison down the street.
They break for lunch early.
You're psyched about that? You would go
to prison Psyched? I didn't know that.
For ice cream? MARTY: Oh, no. Okay.
I get it.
You don't need the money,
and jail equals
ice cream sandwiches.
But I'm willing to bet
that you have some associates
in the drug game
that would find no humor at all
in the fact that you outed them
to the Feds.
I fittin' to out
nobody. Oh, no. You will.
'Cause I'm gonna do it.
And you paid me.
So, in essence, you outed them.
I don't think that's something
you want to go doin' there,
Mr. Marty Kaan of Lower Grand
Street. If you could just
pull your head out
of this ratchet rap video
for ten seconds,
you would understand
the degree to which
your threats have no
fucking effect on me.
Now, what the fuck
you need to do
is recognize the motherfucker
you dealin' with.
I've seen you bitch Dre out
on several occasions,
and he allows you to do it.
What you need to see right now
is you dealin'
with a real gangster,
not the shit you see on TV.
I don't give a fuck
if you send a SWAT team
in that motherfuckin' door.
I ain't sellin' shit,
I ain't signin' shit.
Now, you want to bust
a motherfuckin' move
or you just gonna stand there?
Which one of us do you think
he's gonna kill first?
Definitely not the one
who offed his dog.
Oh, my God. You're
right. He's right. I know.
Listen, he's not gonna do shit
to anybody, okay? I'm a target.
He's just acting out. (sighs) Oh, God.
(chuckles) Just... You
know. What, Jeannie? Say it.
I'm super glad that we went
with your foolproof plan
to close Lukas. I mean,
I have so much to learn
from you, Marty. See
you back at the shop.
(tires screech)
You can leave the keys in it.
(women speaking indistinctly)
You're a fucking idiot,
do you know that?
Flattery. I love it.
Got anything to drink?
Hey, you do know Dre
doesn't give a fuck
about you, right?
That your partnership
with him is over
and your friendship with him
is beyond over.
You got to take care
of you, Lukas.
Take that money.
Stop being a bitch.
Watch your mouth, baby girl. Shut up.
Enough with the "baby girls"
and the "shawties."
I'm not impressed.
Well, you look impressed.
Maybe a little.
(chuckles)
You know when you know you're
really great at something?
When? It's when they try and erase you.
It's not when you
get an A-plus
or you win some stupid award.
It's the moment when
you've accomplished something
that someone like you
isn't supposed to.
So they say you never did.
Or that you don't deserve it.
Or something.
And they erase you,
or at least they try.
Why don't you talk to me
like a real fucking person?
My father died on Tuesday.
The funeral is tomorrow in
the shit town where I grew up,
but I'll be here at my desk...
making money and taking care
of myself.
Because unlike you,
I learned very early on
that no one is on my side
but me.
Hell, that's fucked up.
Okay...
consult me.
Call Marty.
Tell him that you'll
sign away DollaHyde,
but only under
the following conditions...
I'll call him tomorrow.
Make him sweat.
(door opens)
Hey, Pop.
Hey, Marty.
Where's Dora the Explorer
tonight?
(chuckles)
Man, I need a break.
Heard that.
And Chantelle...
Yes?
Is spending
the night at her place.
Well, that's smart.
Too many sharp
corners around here.
I would hate
if my future stepmom
toddled into a coffee table
or something.
(chuckles)
Envy is a bitch, isn't it?
Ah, yes, it is.
Roscoe told me
about this morning.
Yeah, um...
I don't know.
Look, I mean,
he-he knew what I meant.
So you didn't mean
to provoke him?
Just kind of unknowingly pushed
him a little too far
because Marty Kaan is not good
at reading people?
Pop, I gotta tell you, he's
totally off the rails right now.
No, no, it's not that extreme.
And your analysis
is based on what?
You know, you've been
conveniently absent lately
when the shit's been
hitting the fan around here.
This isn't about me, Marty.
Yeah, it's about you.
Look, I'm-I'm juggling
a new shop right now, okay?
And trying to deal with a kid
who's totally, you know,
fucking losing himself
right now.
I-I need your help.
You know, hold up your end.
All right, you're frustrated.
But when I said that it isn't
about me, I meant it now.
This is what it is, Marty.
You get to a place
with your kid,
where everything else
kind of just falls away,
and it's just the two of you.
You remember.
When your mother died,
you and I were in
a very serious death match.
(chuckles)
Yeah. Yeah, we were.
But here we are.
Two grown-ass men.
Yep.
You and Roscoe will get
past this.
(snorts) Yeah,
if I let him live that long.
(laughs)
I know exactly how you feel.
(laughs)
Good night, son.
Good night, Pop.
MARTY:
Yeah.
Yeah, I understand.
Yeah.
That was Lukas.
Um...
He's done.
(all cheer)
He's out.
Um, in lieu of flowers
and cards,
the family requests
that you send
big ol' fat checks
to Kaan and Associates.
(all laugh) Make it happen.
Oh...!
Hey-ey-ey...!
Oh, God, what a relief!
Such a relief.
(both laugh)
Gotcha. (laughs)
Fun fact?
You'll never see
Caitlin's cooter.
How dare you?
So DollaHyde starts
paying us again?
Every crack-covered penny.
Whoo! Dre must
be freaking.
Uh, let's, uh, not ruin
his family dinner just yet
by telling him that Lukas is
going to be asking for $150 million
plus royalties.
$150 million?
Yeah.
Huh.
Well played, Mr. Frye.
(chuckles)
I had only suggested
$125 million.
You set me up.
Never.
I got you what you wanted.
Lukas is gone as soon
as he gets the cash.
Yeah, cash
that Dre doesn't have.
Then I guess you're
Lukas's bitch.
(Roscoe laughs)
All right.
Ten seconds.
Ready to defend.
Hey, Jimmy, chill out, Jimmy.
This one's Jimmy.
Jimmy!
Ten, nine,
eight, seven...
six, five, four,
three, two, one!
(imitates buzzer sounding)
Oh, shit!
That was awesome.
(shouts happily)
Oh, shit! That was...
(laughing)
All right, that's it.
Get your shit together and get
the fuck out of my house.
Hey, Marty.
I got Cheetos...
Lex, you're out of here.
This fucking dating thing
is deaded.
Right now! Let's go!
Come on, Marty.
You got it.
Get out.
Get out!
(groans)
Get up, man.
Roscoe, get up.
Get up. Get up.
Hey,
unlock the door.
What are you doing?
No, Dad.
Dad, no.
Unlock the...
We have to turn around, Dad.
Have to turn, turn around.
(knocking)
They call him Michelle.
(low groan)
Arms.
(exhales)
All right, lay back.
Lay back, lay back, lay back.
Okay, there's a wastebasket
by your head.
If the bed starts spinning,
you know, just...
put one foot
on the ground, 'kay?
Hey, Dad?
What?
Don't be mad at Lex.
It was my idea.
Just try to get some sleep,
all right?
But let me tell you,
if you ever mix a 25-year-old
single malt of mine
with Hawaiian Punch again,
I'm putting you up
for adoption immediately.
You got it?
Oh, shit.
Aw, Dad, my Bottega hobo!
Lesson learned.
Drinking is for boys
with cheap purses.
Ugh.
(sighs)
Thank you, Dad.
I love you, too.
Get some sleep.
? ?
What do you think,
we should give this
purse to a real hobo?
Night.
? Now, which
of these things, Mother ?
? Will give a dustless age? ?
MARTY:
To the Soldier Sneaker line.
All right.
The brand expansion
that's gonna take DollaHyde
to the next level. Yes.
I'll drink to that.
Sky's the limit, man.
ROSCOE:
Dad, we do have a problem.
You're calling me
and Lex a circus.
JEANNIE: Not putting all your
eggs in the Marty Kaan basket.
That was smart.
Marissa, I can get you the whole
McClintock Media Group.
But you have to do exactly
what I tell you to do.
(slurring):
Listen, motherfucker.
- Me?
- I killed your dog.
What the fuck
you talking about, man?
Lukas wanted me to let
you know he knows.
- He knows what?
- About how you and Dre
are trying to push him out
- his own company.
- Jesus, come on, listen.
Uh-huh, that's right.
LUKAS:
Dre intends to move on
without me, doesn't he?
At least,
that's the plan, right?
ROSCOE:
I'm gonna get out of this!
LEX: Is that all you got, little man?
(Roscoe grunting)
LEX: Come on, pretty boy,
you got more than that.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, you have
five minutes to change, okay?
And don't bullshit me
'cause I will leave without you.
ROSCOE:
I like this outfit.
- No. No, you don't.
- Aw, God.
Can I help you?
(laughs) Apparently not.
Four minutes, 19 seconds.
Going.
The kid's amazing, Marty.
Uh-huh.
He's, like, the nicest guy ever.
The fuck is this?
Uh, that's about to
be your last meal.
No Cheetos?
Dude, if I had
millions of dollars,
I'd have all kinds of Cheetos.
Yeah, that's why you don't have
millions of dollars.
Hey. Fly?
Nice.
Hey, check this out.
Turn around.
MARTY:
Hey, Roscoe?
Can I talk to you around
the corner for a second, buddy?
Strike two.
What is going on, man?
You've been dressing
your own self
since you were 18 months old.
So what?
So why are you taking
fashion advice
from Boys Don't Cry in there?
Because he's my girlfriend.
Oh.
What, Dad?!
Roscoe.
What?
Listen.
You have always been the kid
who's made good choices, okay?
She's not worth you losing that.
She's not. What?
Because you said she's not.
I think he's the first person
who's ever really gotten me.
Really?
'Cause I think
I get you, Roscoe.
I know you.
And you are losing
yourself to this thing.
Oh, so first Lex and I were
just a circus.
And now we're a thing.
Good to know.
You know, Dad,
you've never asked me once
what I think
about my relationship.
What do you think
of your relationship, Roscoe?
Huh? Okay?
Because I think
Lex found herself
a good kid and decided to drag
him down to her level.
Now, you can ignore me if that
makes you feel like a man
or whatever, but don't come
crying to me when this thing
blows up in your face.
Don't worry, Dad.
I won't 'cause you won't
even be here anyway.
She's at the door, smart-ass.
Let's go.
(door closes)
MARTY:
Lukas knows the deal, okay?
So we can just put
all our cards on the table.
No more asking, man.
No more plotting.
We just force his ass out.
Guns blazing.
Marty, listen to me.
I'm telling you.
It's gonna be
a beautiful fucking day
once DollaHyde finally
reaches its potential.
Uh, Dre, there's
something happening...
What?
(indistinct chatter)
What the fuck?
WOMAN: Lukas said we could
take whatever we want.
Oh, hell no!
Give me an hour.
Hey, what are you guys doing?!
Where are you going
with those boxes?
Nigga, where's you going
with my tree?
(indistinct chatter)
DOUG:
Oh, my God, are you kidding me?
This is like Anatevka at the end
of Fiddler on the Roof.
CLYDE: I swear to God,
Doug, if you start singing,
I will kick you in
the fucking taint.
That's unnecessary.
All right, kiddies, listen up.
Little kiddies, spread out.
See if you can identify
anyone who might
come back in here tomorrow
with a high-capacity magazine.
Go.
Is that possible?
Big kiddies,
suck it the fuck up, okay?
This is the job.
We're gonna turn
this shit around.
Okay, and let's remember,
even if we don't, one of us
is bringing in the sixth largest
media conglomerate
in the world. (groans)
Bringing! Not brought.
Until you can say "brought," you
need to give it a rest, Clyde.
Yeah. Jesus, okay. Consider me resting.
Resting my ass on your lips...
Marty!
...when I close McClintock!
Get that shit out my way.
Marty!
I just got a text from
that motherfucker Lukas.
He says and I quote,
"I would love to
attend the meeting,
"but due to recent tragic
events, I'll be at home
interviewing
Chihuahua breeders."
CLYDE:
Oh, no.
Okay, I'm almost positive
that dog was jaundiced.
Probably diabetic. Listen, I
got to get the fuck out of here
or I'm gonna lose my
goddamn mind! I hear you.
You see this fucking place?
Let's go to my office.
What was a dog doing at a
club anyway? Is that how you...
If I didn't kill him,
the secondhand smoke would've.
(elevator bell dings)
At the end of the day, Lukas is
just hurting himself, okay?
JEFFREY: We can launch
a pro forma death march.
Wrap Lukas in so much red tape
that he chokes on his own vomit.
So creepy.
And of course we'll run
a multivariate test
to optimize outcomes. Boom!
Don't do that boom, no.
No?
Listen, whatever Lukas's move,
we ean counter.
The IPO could
realistically
land near-term.
Why don't we sit down
with your CFO?
And we put some numbers
on the damage?
We know exactly where we stand.
You know, I'd really love that.
But Lukas got rid of him first.
Am I missing something?
Can't you just hire back
the people he's fired?
And pay them with what?
There's a double
signatory required
on all outgoing checks.
Dre, our end state vision
for DollaHyde remains...
Aw, fuck me!
Jeannie.
Marty, this shit
got me shook, man.
Lukas already fired
half the senior staff.
He shut down production,
canceled orders,
and stopped payments.
Now, look, I'm doing
everything I can
in terms of damage control,
but there's not gonna be
a goddamn DollaHyde
unless y'all fix
this shit, stat!
Dre? I understand
that you are upset, okay?
Oh, he understands I'm pissed.
And this is very...
Look, walk with me, okay?
Look, I got shit
to do, all right?
Dre, just walk with me.
Look, the more time
you spend panicking,
the less time we
have to do our jobs.
Fuck, Marty, all right?
This was my life.
And this motherfucker
is winning the war.
No, he's not. He's winning
a tiny little battle, okay?
He's acting like a baby
having a tantrum in his crib.
Yeah, but I look around and my
whole kingdom is coming apart.
It's a flesh wound, Dre.
(laughs) Flesh wound.
Sit down.
Come on, sit down.
Fuck.
Listen to me.
I have reached in and pulled
the beating hearts
out of far scarier
motherfucker3
than Lukas Frye, believe me.
(laughs)
Goddamn.
I'm telling you, you're gonna
run the world one of these days.
I already do.
Look around.
Listen.
Lukas loves money a lot
more than he hates you.
This is true.
All right, I see you got a play.
Always.
Have a Red Vine.
They're fat free.
JEANNIE: Until Lukas co-signs
on these payments again,
this is volunteer work.
I think you know how I feel
about volunteer work.
Yeah, she hates it.
She hates it all.
It's true.
Yeah.
She know she once sued
Habitat for Humanity
to keep poor people
out of her neighborhood.
It's true.
Fuck off, I did not.
But if we don't do
something soon,
I'm gonna be poor people.
On a related note,
the McClintock family
could not be less poor.
I'm not sure you understand
"related notes."
(laughs) Don't laugh.
That's not worth laughing at,
and I don't think you understand
the McClintock...
Shut the fuck up, Clyde!
For real?
Yeah, kind of burns a little
on the way down doesn't it?
Hey, is it cool
if we get to work
or does Dre need another hug?
Lukas will not be coming to us,
so we are going to go to Lukas.
Jeffrey, Caitlin, set that up.
Together?
Happy to.
Yeah, we're closing this buyout
today.
Done like dinner.
Why?
Um, because Dre is our client.
He paid us money, so
he gets what he wants.
That's how it works, Jeannie.
Ooh, quick trip back to reality.
The company is our client.
The company paid us money.
The company in which
Lukas and Dre
are equal partners.
Wow. (laughs)
For a second there I thought
you weren't gonna figure out
a way to make
this whole giant clusterfuck
about your hurt feelings.
Instead of rubbing our palms
together and thinking of new
and inventive ways
we could fuck Lukas over,
I think what we should
be asking ourselves
is who does
the company need more?
Doug?
Doug?
Doug.
Doug! He's not gonna like... Doug!
Okay, yeah.
At-at Jeannie's request, okay,
I drafted two
models showing
the five-year projections
of DollaHyde's viability.
One with Dre at the helm
and Lukas out. (gasps)
And the other reversed.
Ooh!
Uh, the numbers are
comparable, Marty.
Oh, my God, are they
also comparable, Will?
If there is no clear
financial advantage
to forcing Lukas out,
why should we spend time on it?
When we go to Lukas today,
our goal should be
to get him back in the business,
just under different terms.
A big part
of their brand appeal is
the whole
"best friends get rich" story.
People eat that shit up, Marty.
Okay, let the record show that
all the kiddies have been heard.
(laughs) However.
However, Lukas is precisely
the kind of liability
that you don't need
haunting the halls
when the distributors go digging
through your financials.
That's one key piece
that you left out
of your sound analysis, Jeannie.
Well, technically, it was
my sound analysis...
Do I look like I give
a fuck, Doug?
We have one job:
Lukas has got to go.
You on board with that?
Just as a wrap-up,
though:
I did have the better
of the two plays,
but because you
have veto power,
we're gonna toss mine?
Cool, that sounds great.
I'm on board.
Thank you for the support.
(clears throat)
Jeannie Beannie, William, Doug,
you're coming with me.
No.
Jeannie Bean, Clyde, Doug,
can go with you.
I need Will on the journeyline.
Doesn't Clyde have
an imaginary
girlfriend's account
that he needs to be working on?
In two weeks,
the McClintock media empire
will be jizzing money
into this office. Ew.
Yeah. No father
figure at home.
That's what happens.
(music playing in distance)
Ooh...
Would you look at that?
Ah, he's chipper.
JEANNIE: Of course
he is. It's dick math.
DOUG:
Dick math?
Mm-hmm. We tried
to dick Lukas over,
which was, admittedly,
a dick move.
MARTY:
And now he's dicking us over
by proving that he can waste
our time and money.
So we have to come
to his house,
hat in hand, begging.
MARTY:
That's right.
Which, in his mind,
proves that he is the dick
with the biggest dick of all
and we are just...
OTHERS:
Pussies.
Ta-da!
(music stops)
(clears throat)
Lukas Frye suffers from
a socioeconomic disease
known as...
hood rich.
Now, this condition
presents itself in many ways,
but there are
a few common symptoms
which indicate you are
in the presence
of someone with full blown.
I-never-really-got-out-
of-the-ghetto-itis.
More cars than novels.
Ah!
Disapproving white neighbors.
And gold.
Now, I am no psychic,
but I'm willing to bet
this fucking monstrosity
is lousy with the crap.
Now, unfortunately,
there is no known cure
for hood rich...
so we all gots to suffer.
Come on...
what the fuck?
(laughing) I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My bad.
DOUG:
Hey, Lukas!
Hi. Doug Guggenheim.
Ah, fuck youggenheim.
(laughter)
LUKAS:
Aw, shit, y'all.
If it ain't Marty Kaan
and Associates in this bitch.
What's up, niggas?
Oh, God, wait.
So if I respond, is it the same
as if I actually said...
Don't overthink it.
Lukas, thank you for seeing us.
I know you got a lot going on.
Nah, man, I ain't
got nothing going on.
We ain't doing
nothing but chillin'
like a motherfucker
in this bitch.
What's happening, boss lady?
Oh, um, this house
is really beautiful.
The artwork's great.
Yeah, thank you.
That's some cheap shit I got
from the Michael
Jackson auction.
Seconds after, you
wouldn't believe it.
Seconds after he died?
LUKAS: Hey, man, I said seconds after.
That's all I said.
You talk a lot, huh?
It's a great crip.
Crib. Buh.
The theme of this room is, uh,
Biblical Bullshit, man.
If Jesus were to have
his last supper today,
he would sit at this
motherfucking table.
I could seat a small village
or a large project,
whichever I choose.
Hello, Miss Lady.
This is, uh,
Moroccan tile right here.
These are stone pillars.
They came from...
they came from Rome,
just like in
the Coliseum and shit.
These are my panthers,
this is my pool,
these are my bitches.
You walked right past
my Trevi Fountain.
(laughs)
Ta-da!
Catfish pond, bitches.
Would you look at that? Oh ho!
LUKAS:
I mean, real live catfish
imported from Savannah
Sweetwater Creek.
Now, what nigga you know living
like that?
Honestly?
Not a one.
Ah!
Ah!
(laughing)
Hood rich.
Nihito Arakawa....
MARTY:
Listen.
Dre fucked up, Lukas.
Okay?
We fucked up.
We know we fucked up.
But the bottom line is,
neither one of you can really
make a move without the other.
Now, Lukas, uh,
we can assure you
that the buy-out price
is well above
actual market value
of your shares.
JEANNIE:
You will walk away
with a hell of a lot more
than you have right now.
CLYDE:
Just sayin', man.
All that extra cash
floating around,
you could finally start up
that sneaker line of yours.
Hey...
What do you say?
(chuckles) I'm liking this guy
already. He's growing on me.
He's telling me that I can take
money that I make
and use it to buy things.
That shit's going
in my diary tonight.
JEANNIE (sotto voce):
Nice.
We don't want to overwhelm him
with too many good ideas. Got it.
Man, you brought this
Ivy League Ashkenazi
all the way over here,
and that's the best
financial advice he got?
Hey, yo, Lukas. LUKAS: Mm-hmm?
Man, the Jews is fallin' off.
Hey, man.
Inappropriate.
Every goddamn time.
Rachel Cohen broke his heart
in middle school
and he's still bitter.
Oh.
Don't take that Jewish
shit personal.
You ign'ant.
Man, shut the fuck up.
Thank you, Vernon.
Thank you for having my back.
Nigga, I'm Vernon.
That's Foxx.
And thank you, Foxx.
So what are you thinking?
I'm thinking Dre must be
extremely desperate.
But I'm not accepting
his welfare, no thank you.
You have two options, okay?
You can sell your part...
Oh, no, I'm intrigued.
Please, continue.
You can sell your
part of the business...
Mm-hmm... and live like a fucking god,
or you can just sit on your ass
while the whole thing
burns down to the ground,
at which point you're
gonna make, you know,
50% of not-a-fucking...
What is this?
Lukas, do you want to stay
mad or do you want to stay...
rich?
LUKAS:
You see, I already know
how they look on me.
I choose based on
how I think they will look
in the morning.
Smart.
That's fabulous.
Okay, we're out of here, guys.
Uh, homies, hoes...
it's been real.
Excuse me, Lukas. How you gonna
disrespect my homies like that.
(laughs)
LUKAS:
Hey, man.
Come on, man, y'all bring
your motherfucking asses back.
You suburban-ass niggas,
y'all quit all easy and shit.
Probably 'cause you ain't
never had to work for nothing.
Had everything given
to you all your life.
Oh. But I see 50 mil.
Ol' boy came with it.
(chuckles)
Yeah. Suburban-ass niggas
write big boy checks.
Okay. So can we
close this deal?
Or do you have some more
naked women coming by to, uh,
model your gold chain
wear for the evening?
I was hoping for at least one.
You look awfully nice today.
I look nice every day.
That's irrelevant.
I guess.
I'll pass. MARTY: Doug.
I get it.
We fucked up so you don't want
to play ball.
The fuck is that?
Oh. That's the DollaHyde
financial report.
The real one.
The one that can get
you thrown right back in prison.
If I go down, Dre goes
down with me. That's great.
You two can be cellmates.
Prison for a nigga like me, man,
like a family reunion. CHRIS: True.
Keith over there at
Lompoc right now.
And G and them in Atwater.
Shit. Atwater got
icecream sandwiches.
What?
Mint chocolate chip?
They got Neapolitan. Goddamn.
Damn, sign me up.
Marty, take me now.
There's a prison down the street.
They break for lunch early.
You're psyched about that? You would go
to prison Psyched? I didn't know that.
For ice cream? MARTY: Oh, no. Okay.
I get it.
You don't need the money,
and jail equals
ice cream sandwiches.
But I'm willing to bet
that you have some associates
in the drug game
that would find no humor at all
in the fact that you outed them
to the Feds.
I fittin' to out
nobody. Oh, no. You will.
'Cause I'm gonna do it.
And you paid me.
So, in essence, you outed them.
I don't think that's something
you want to go doin' there,
Mr. Marty Kaan of Lower Grand
Street. If you could just
pull your head out
of this ratchet rap video
for ten seconds,
you would understand
the degree to which
your threats have no
fucking effect on me.
Now, what the fuck
you need to do
is recognize the motherfucker
you dealin' with.
I've seen you bitch Dre out
on several occasions,
and he allows you to do it.
What you need to see right now
is you dealin'
with a real gangster,
not the shit you see on TV.
I don't give a fuck
if you send a SWAT team
in that motherfuckin' door.
I ain't sellin' shit,
I ain't signin' shit.
Now, you want to bust
a motherfuckin' move
or you just gonna stand there?
Which one of us do you think
he's gonna kill first?
Definitely not the one
who offed his dog.
Oh, my God. You're
right. He's right. I know.
Listen, he's not gonna do shit
to anybody, okay? I'm a target.
He's just acting out. (sighs) Oh, God.
(chuckles) Just... You
know. What, Jeannie? Say it.
I'm super glad that we went
with your foolproof plan
to close Lukas. I mean,
I have so much to learn
from you, Marty. See
you back at the shop.
(tires screech)
You can leave the keys in it.
(women speaking indistinctly)
You're a fucking idiot,
do you know that?
Flattery. I love it.
Got anything to drink?
Hey, you do know Dre
doesn't give a fuck
about you, right?
That your partnership
with him is over
and your friendship with him
is beyond over.
You got to take care
of you, Lukas.
Take that money.
Stop being a bitch.
Watch your mouth, baby girl. Shut up.
Enough with the "baby girls"
and the "shawties."
I'm not impressed.
Well, you look impressed.
Maybe a little.
(chuckles)
You know when you know you're
really great at something?
When? It's when they try and erase you.
It's not when you
get an A-plus
or you win some stupid award.
It's the moment when
you've accomplished something
that someone like you
isn't supposed to.
So they say you never did.
Or that you don't deserve it.
Or something.
And they erase you,
or at least they try.
Why don't you talk to me
like a real fucking person?
My father died on Tuesday.
The funeral is tomorrow in
the shit town where I grew up,
but I'll be here at my desk...
making money and taking care
of myself.
Because unlike you,
I learned very early on
that no one is on my side
but me.
Hell, that's fucked up.
Okay...
consult me.
Call Marty.
Tell him that you'll
sign away DollaHyde,
but only under
the following conditions...
I'll call him tomorrow.
Make him sweat.
(door opens)
Hey, Pop.
Hey, Marty.
Where's Dora the Explorer
tonight?
(chuckles)
Man, I need a break.
Heard that.
And Chantelle...
Yes?
Is spending
the night at her place.
Well, that's smart.
Too many sharp
corners around here.
I would hate
if my future stepmom
toddled into a coffee table
or something.
(chuckles)
Envy is a bitch, isn't it?
Ah, yes, it is.
Roscoe told me
about this morning.
Yeah, um...
I don't know.
Look, I mean,
he-he knew what I meant.
So you didn't mean
to provoke him?
Just kind of unknowingly pushed
him a little too far
because Marty Kaan is not good
at reading people?
Pop, I gotta tell you, he's
totally off the rails right now.
No, no, it's not that extreme.
And your analysis
is based on what?
You know, you've been
conveniently absent lately
when the shit's been
hitting the fan around here.
This isn't about me, Marty.
Yeah, it's about you.
Look, I'm-I'm juggling
a new shop right now, okay?
And trying to deal with a kid
who's totally, you know,
fucking losing himself
right now.
I-I need your help.
You know, hold up your end.
All right, you're frustrated.
But when I said that it isn't
about me, I meant it now.
This is what it is, Marty.
You get to a place
with your kid,
where everything else
kind of just falls away,
and it's just the two of you.
You remember.
When your mother died,
you and I were in
a very serious death match.
(chuckles)
Yeah. Yeah, we were.
But here we are.
Two grown-ass men.
Yep.
You and Roscoe will get
past this.
(snorts) Yeah,
if I let him live that long.
(laughs)
I know exactly how you feel.
(laughs)
Good night, son.
Good night, Pop.
MARTY:
Yeah.
Yeah, I understand.
Yeah.
That was Lukas.
Um...
He's done.
(all cheer)
He's out.
Um, in lieu of flowers
and cards,
the family requests
that you send
big ol' fat checks
to Kaan and Associates.
(all laugh) Make it happen.
Oh...!
Hey-ey-ey...!
Oh, God, what a relief!
Such a relief.
(both laugh)
Gotcha. (laughs)
Fun fact?
You'll never see
Caitlin's cooter.
How dare you?
So DollaHyde starts
paying us again?
Every crack-covered penny.
Whoo! Dre must
be freaking.
Uh, let's, uh, not ruin
his family dinner just yet
by telling him that Lukas is
going to be asking for $150 million
plus royalties.
$150 million?
Yeah.
Huh.
Well played, Mr. Frye.
(chuckles)
I had only suggested
$125 million.
You set me up.
Never.
I got you what you wanted.
Lukas is gone as soon
as he gets the cash.
Yeah, cash
that Dre doesn't have.
Then I guess you're
Lukas's bitch.
(Roscoe laughs)
All right.
Ten seconds.
Ready to defend.
Hey, Jimmy, chill out, Jimmy.
This one's Jimmy.
Jimmy!
Ten, nine,
eight, seven...
six, five, four,
three, two, one!
(imitates buzzer sounding)
Oh, shit!
That was awesome.
(shouts happily)
Oh, shit! That was...
(laughing)
All right, that's it.
Get your shit together and get
the fuck out of my house.
Hey, Marty.
I got Cheetos...
Lex, you're out of here.
This fucking dating thing
is deaded.
Right now! Let's go!
Come on, Marty.
You got it.
Get out.
Get out!
(groans)
Get up, man.
Roscoe, get up.
Get up. Get up.
Hey,
unlock the door.
What are you doing?
No, Dad.
Dad, no.
Unlock the...
We have to turn around, Dad.
Have to turn, turn around.
(knocking)
They call him Michelle.
(low groan)
Arms.
(exhales)
All right, lay back.
Lay back, lay back, lay back.
Okay, there's a wastebasket
by your head.
If the bed starts spinning,
you know, just...
put one foot
on the ground, 'kay?
Hey, Dad?
What?
Don't be mad at Lex.
It was my idea.
Just try to get some sleep,
all right?
But let me tell you,
if you ever mix a 25-year-old
single malt of mine
with Hawaiian Punch again,
I'm putting you up
for adoption immediately.
You got it?
Oh, shit.
Aw, Dad, my Bottega hobo!
Lesson learned.
Drinking is for boys
with cheap purses.
Ugh.
(sighs)
Thank you, Dad.
I love you, too.
Get some sleep.
? ?
What do you think,
we should give this
purse to a real hobo?
Night.
? Now, which
of these things, Mother ?
? Will give a dustless age? ?