House of Lies (2012–2016): Season 3, Episode 2 - Power(less) - full transcript

Previously on House of Lies:

Jeannie...?

Who's Jeannie?

I was thinking that
it was time for you

to run your own pod.

Are you ready to step up?

Let's get married.

In Vegas. Tomorrow.

You and Marty?

God, remember that?

How confused and tortured



and out of control
that whole thing was?

Probably not so fun for you.

Jeannie's not by my side,

and she's not
gonna be by my side.

If you could just

use the tits and ass
that God gave you

and blow the occasional CEO,

just maybe

we wouldn't be in the fuckhole

that we are in right now!

What do you do
if you like a girl...

and you like a boy?

I'm open to whatever.

Colossal Foods.



Go on.

Yours.

I'll give you everything
you need to close 'em.

Mister... Oh, all right.

And I could see

the last cliff ahead of me.

And I'm carrying my pack,

you know, just those
few belongings that I have,

and the sun is just...

this beautiful orange

that is just burning on me.

And as I looked out...

over that vast Outback,

standing next to my
Aboriginal brothers and sisters,

I realized one thing,

and one thing only.

I didn't survive...

because of that ostrich egg.

I did not survive

because of the
trapped rainwater.

I survived

because of the power.

It was the power in you,

in me, the power in the ostrich,

in the water, in the Nantuwaru.

It's all the same power.

It's all one power.

Where was the power?

In you. Right.

The power was in me all along.

And where's your power?

In me. Right.

The power, the life, the godhead

is in me.

The power...

- is in me.
- Is in me.

The power is in me.

The power is in me.

The power is in me.

The power is in me!

The power is in me!

The power is in me!

The power is in me!
The power is in me.

The power is in me! The pow...

The power is in me!

Wow. The power is in me!

The power is in me!

The power... Yes! Yes!

Yeah, yeah! Ah, ah!

Ah...

Yes, ah...

Ah!

Ah...

Mmm.

Hey...

look...

I gotta tell you, um...

I loved your rap.

I thought it was...

it was really inspiring.

Seriously? Yeah.

Seriously.

It was powerful.

What?

Those poor little people
in that beige room.

They all want to believe
that they can have

just one shred of
power in their life,

and they can't.

Well, I mean... It's all
bunch of horseshit anyway.

What is?

Just fucking all of it.

None of us have any power.

We're all just...

passengers on God's
kamikaze rocket ship,

powerless to our relationships,

to our drugs

of choice, to our families.

We're just careening
at warp seven

into a barren asteroid called

We're All Fucked.

Oh. Wow. I...

haven't heard of that one.

Must be one they
just discovered,

swirling around
Mars or some shit.

Orgasms fill me
with existential dread.

So...

the walkabout,

the Outback, that's just...

I mean, I did

wait tables at a
Outback Steakhouse.

Okay.

I mean, I-I figured
you were making

some of it up, I
mean... I'm sorry.

I have taken you to
Sandra Joy's Isle of Ennui.

But... I think I
know how we could

find our way

back to the mainland.

Maybe we could just...

be a little more
gentle... Shut up!

♪ ♪

Hey, Marty, watch this.

Roscoe, take it easy.

Roscoe!

Roscoe!

Hey, Marty.

Look what I've got.

Jeannie. J...

Jeannie, look behind you!

Jeannie, look behind you!

Jeannie, turn around!

What you got, Grandpa?

You don't want none of this.

Good job, Grandpa.
Ha! In his face.

Ah. Your ball. It's your ball.

Come on. What you
got? I got it, I got it,

I got it, huh? What you got?

Here we is! Goal!

JEREMIAH and ROSCOE: Oh!

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Sky hook, baby.

Hey. Hey, Dad.

Come watch this.

I'm posterizing Grandpa.

What does that even mean?

I don't even know!

You're out... oh!

Uh, what's the
breakfast situation, Pop?

Uh, granola. Grandpa, focus.

I'm focused.

Oh.

Well, aren't you gonna ask, Dad?

Ask what?

Whether or not it happened?

Uh... did it happen?

I made point guard
on the basketball team.

Oh, wait a minute!

That is great.

All right, that's awesome!

And... And...

No, no. There cannot
possibly be more.

And I met someone kind of cool.

On the team?

Yeah.

That's great.

Uh...

this person have a name?

Lex.

Lex?

Lex.

- Just Lex.
- Yep.

Oh.

And you like this...
Lex? Oh, yeah.

And, uh... does Lex have game?

Lex got game.

Does Lex have Marty
Kaan-level game?

Lex has enough game
to beat Marty Kaan.

With a little help

from Roscoe Kaan.

Oh, wait a minute.
Are you throwing down?

You should pick
me up after school.

Bring your Victorian

lace-up leather
athletic boots...

and we'll see.

We need to get on that account.

Are you serious?

Um... I don't know, Jeannie.

You know, I was
pooping next to him once,

and I saw under the stall

that he had an ankle holster.

It's not easy to go

when you're in
fear for your life.

I'm going in.

Jeannie...

Then the horse says,

"Well, fuck you, pal.

I've got full-blown AIDS!"

Full-blown AIDS.
That's super funny.

Ah...

Jeannie, right? Uh-huh.

I'm just keeping the
morale up with the troops.

Nice.

Um, Gil...

Colonel Selby...

I had a look

at the accounting
road map... Mm-hmm.

On your DOD project, and I...

I found a couple
ways that we could

restructure.

Hon...

we've been data mining

for my fellow patriots at
the Department of Defense

for a very long time,

and this is the
longest-running contract

at Galweather, bar
none, so... Right.

No argument there.

I just thought maybe
I could help you

run it more efficiently and
increase profit margins.

Well, if it ain't broke...

But it is.

Broke.

You know what?

No worries. Never mind.

I-I thought I could
help, but, um...

I will move on.

Takes a tough little lady
to admit she's wrong.

We should be

in goddamn Phoenix,

billing a shitload to
Colossal Foods right now.

But we're not.

- Are we?
- You're right, Monica.

We'll get 'em next time.

That sounds... hollow.

So... my babies,

I hope you'll listen to
the woman that makes

seven figures, instead
of to your questionable

colleagues.

We're gonna make a deck

to end all decks
for Colossal Foods.

One of you

will take the blame

for that PowerPoint SNAFU.

You can...

draw straws,

figure out who
takes it up the ass.

Uh, I wasn't even
working here then.

Me, either.

Doesn't matter.

Good luck.

She's fucking nuts.

Oh, I think she's hot.

In a dominatrix-y way.

At least she's not a rapist.

Alleged.

I'm not... Listen.

She saw that we
had a nice rapport,

and she was trying
to stop it, okay?

She did the same exact
thing with the PowerPoint.

Who would make
something like that up?

Are you serious?

Look at her... She's
a fucking monster!

Big shocker, the-the rapist...

Oh, I'm sorry, alleged rapist...

Doesn't respect his
female boss. Don't, Christy.

Don't, don't, don't, don't,
don't don't, don't, don't...

Hey, hey!

Please, okay?

I'm not a rapist.

I'm not perfect, but
I am not a rapist.

Christy?

Do you need a safety buddy?

All right, fuck it.

I'm a rapist.

I really want to
thank you, Julianne.

I am learning a tremendous
amount from you.

Yes, well,

I enjoy mentoring.

I mean, I would not
have the self-confidence

that you do in the face of...

How so?

Just... you know,

keeping people on the payroll

from the old regime

who are clearly adversarial...

To me.

Right.

Yes, well, you know,

I think it's important
to embrace...

Who doesn't like me?

That's not what I...

I wouldn't even have
mentioned it if it were just that.

I'm just thinking that...

we really have to make it
rain and... Listen, Jeannie.

The only way that
women are going

to move forward in a
boy's club like this one

is if they band together
and share information.

Now, who the fuck hates me?

I really wouldn't feel right.

Who?

Gil Selby.

The Department of
Defense data mining account.

He's been doing
the same shit forever.

I just...

I try to let him do his thing.

That's what I'm saying.

His thing is over.

He's leaving a significant
amount of money

on the table every day.

Money that we could
use to hang on to our jobs.

Really?

I've been studying the account.

Look, I know it

backwards and forwards.

These first figures

are what we're pulling in now.

And a lot of people just do
the same things in self-defense.

Kick him in the crotch,
kick him in the crotch.

And I said to the teacher,

why don't you grab, grab
for both, you know, Right.

The thingy and
the stuff? Mm-hmm.

Honey, are you listening
to what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Of course, no, I-I-I can grab
some stuff if you want to...

Oh, my God, forget it.

I'm sorry. I was...
My mind was...

No, you know what, babe?

It's me, it's me. Tell
me again, please?

I'm just blabbing and
blabbing because I'm nervous.

No, no, no, no. 'Cause I
don't know how to say it.

Um... Say what?

I pulled the goalie.

What, what?

What does that mean?

You know how in
sports there's the goalie,

like in hockey, soccer,
there's the goalie? Uh-huh.

And when the goalie
is not on the field...?

Not enough players
on the field or...?

That's true, um, and...?

No one to stop the players
shooting at the goal...?

Or maybe to shoot 60 million

shots into the goal, Doug?

Wait, you stopped
using birth control?

I did! What?

Why-why-why would you do that?

Well, because I want
us to have a baby.

That's great! What? Doug?

If you're not sure
about this... What?

You need to say
something to me right now.

Hold on a second...
You didn't even tell me.

Okay. I... I mean...

Which is fine. I'm just...

I mean, how long
have you been, um...

I mean, have we, have
we done it, uh, uh...

I... Doesn't
matter. That's fine.

Hey, it's great!

I said that... it's great. Yeah.

So, I have no problem with it.

You know, because
what's not to love about...

fucking babies? I love them.

Why are you acting
so weird, then?

I'm not. I'm not. You are.

So just say it, if you
don't want to do it, say no.

Say yes or no.

It's more complicated than that.

I think, if I'm being honest,

that if you're
projecting this onto me

that I don't want a
baby, which is ridiculous,

because I'm clearly
thrilled about it... I...

I think you need to have a
look at your own feelings.

Me? No, I mean really
look at them, Sarah.

Because if you're feeling fear

or insecurity around this,
well, then that's a problem.

Okay, forget it. Okay.

And we'll talk about
this later. Great.

Oh, my God. Don't ask.

Okay.

Jeannie, Sarah wants
to have a baby. So...

She just told me.
She's already trying.

Oh, bless!

With you?

What? Yeah, of course with me!

God, I love her, you know
that. I do, I love her, I love her,

I love her, but a baby?

Oh, my God, I don't know.

That is just so... absolute.

Well, that is a sacred
gift is what that is.

Time to man up, buddy.

Fuck you.

What do I do? Jeannie, honestly.

Not a rhetorical
question. What do I do?

You need to be
the cock of the walk

and deliver that baby
batter to your special lady.

Oh, my God. You must...

never talk about my sperm

ever again.

If you put the plan B in a
smoothie or something...?

Can we... can we...
can we please get

this meeting
started, okay? Yeah.

Yeah, Jeannie, I took a look

at those DOD
models like you asked.

Yeah. Well, it looks like Gil

has been using a
statistical methodology

that's been outmoded for years.

I mean, if you run
industry standard

data mining applications,
you could lower

headcount and bill a lot more.

I'm gonna say twice,
three times as much.

Are you sure about
that methodology?

We'd have to run a beta.

I will be right back.

Okay.

Oh, so that's how we
gonna be getting down, huh?

Now, you know we're
actually playing basketball,

it's not a dance contest, right?

Check up.

Uh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

Got to go with the
ball. Come on...

Hey, Lex.

What's up?

Hey, Lex, um...

I'm Marty. Nice to
meet you. Yeah?

So, Lex, my dad, he thinks
he can take us two on two.

For real? For real.

All right.

Let's do this. Let's do it.

Hey, Ethan, you
want to go two on two?

You and my dad
versus me and Lex?

Yeah.

You any good?

Are you any good?

What? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Come on! Are you kidding
me? Are you kidding me?

Come on, that's your side.

That's your side!
If you can't "D" him,

say switch. You switch.

Come on, let's go. Ready? Check.

Hands up! Okay. Wow, again.

Insane. This is crazy. Yeah!

That's like two.
What you want, Dad?

That's like two points.
What you want, Dad?

Lex, plant your feet.
Off your hand, Lex.

You took one in the face!

Your man's fouling me.

You're my baby, man.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Foul, foul. Our ball!

Foul. Our ball.

Jeannie?

Hmm? Oh, hey, Gil.

Good luck with that DOD account.

I'll let all my friends

at the Pentagon know
it's in your hands now.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Jeannie, don't give me
your little girl lost act.

You just watch that sweet
little ass of yours, okay?

Brick. Oh, no, he didn't.

Nice.

Go, pick him up, pick him up.

No shot.

Oh, I...

Play him.

God! Goddamn it!

Lex.

Hey, so, Lex?

Boy or girl? What...?

What's the deal?

Lex is a boy

spelled B-O-I.

Or a girl spelled G-R-R-L.

Okay. But yes.

Lex was born a girl.

Oh, born a girl. Yup.

Okay, that's... you know,

it doesn't matter, that's cool.

What?

Mr. Marty Kaan, all tongue-tied.

Whatever. Never
thought I would see that.

So, what are you, then?

I'm...

I'm Roscoe... dumb shit.

Now you're Dead Roscoe.

Don't run... It just
makes it worse for you.

It just makes it worse...

You and Marty working on
some top secret project together?

Perhaps.

Aw, 18-year-old
Aberlour. Mm-hmm.

You are generous.

I would not waste this on me

if I came to... you came to...

Never mind.

Why is that?

I was just joking.

Mmm. Uh-huh.

Maybe because, even though
I spend the majority of my time

telling people how great I am,

I don't buy it for a second.

Yeah. What does that feel like?

Pretty fucking...

not... great.

Is that what you heard
when you were growing up?

That you were not great?

What I heard growing
up is not even...

You don't even want to know.

Oh, but I do, I do.

I heard growing up

that my father was
not really a criminal,

uh, my brother was
an all-star athlete,

and I was...

roadkill.

Well, I'm really
glad you're alive.

Thanks, Jeremiah.

You just shrunk me, didn't you?

Is that okay?

Yeah, I kind of liked it.

Hey, sorry we're late.

We got caught up.

Jeannie!

R-Dog! What is up?

Your grandfather is
feeding me scotch.

Way to go, Grandpa!

You look butch.

What are you doing?

Well, me and my
friend Lex just kicked

my dad's ass at basketball.

Lex, huh?

Yeah, he's a baller.

Yeah, I guess she's
got a little game.

Hey, let's get washed up, buddy.

All right.

Yeah, me again.

Um, I'm-I'm gonna leave.

And I mean it this time,

because, you know, I
have other things to do.

Not just to wait around for
you. For real? You can't leave

your wallet just out in
the middle of nowhere.

Ignore this message. You just
turned up. Okay. Was that for me?

No. Yes! You're an
hour and a half late.

I'm sorry. That's not okay.

Calm down. I'm sorry.
It's my bad. Your bad?

That's all you have to say?
Let me get a hangover martini,

and my friend here will
have a very fruity cocktail

with as many of these
tiny little umbrellas. I won't.

Just throw 'em
all in. Beer's fine.

Don't... Please don't
tell him to do that.

He'll make the drink.

He's not gonna make that drink.

It's a waste. Dude, you're fine.

As opposed to me, who's
getting anally violated

by fucking Marty's ex-wife.

Dude, she's 100%
shithouse-fucking-rat-crazy.

I'm right here!

I... Are you okay?

I'd be better if I wasn't living

with a fucking coked-out
time bomb. Yeah.

Speaking of which, how is
Sarah? That's not funny, man.

You can't say
that. That's my wife.

That's my wife.
It's kind of funny.

I'm kidding. How is your wife?

She's good, she's good.

You know, she wants a
baby? They all want babies.

No-no-no, I mean...
But where's the drink?

You know what I
mean? Hey, Beard.

Beardio! Beard.
Where's the drink? Hey.

Do you know what I need to do?

I gotta get the
fuck out of that job.

And I have an interview
with Booz Allen next week.

If that goes well, I'm
fucking on it. Great.

Hey, beardy! Honestly, just
a fucking beverage. Whoa.

He just put it down
in front of you.

Clyde, there it is.

Oh, this? That's funny, Yeah.

Because I ordered
a fucking martini.

Do you remember
when I came in here?

I said I'd like a
martini? Easy mistake.

No, no, no, don't
go for one second.

Just wait one second.
In what world...

He said he's sorry. Is a martini

the same thing as a fucking
margarita? Clyde. Clyde.

Just tell me where you come
from. From Williamsburg?

You come down here, just
throw some shit in a fucking cup...

Clyde, what the hell?

Is he serious? He's fine.

Man the bar.

Want me to come
around? Do something!

Come on now, you fucking
idiot! Oh, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, I dare you. He
served at Fallujah.

He's got that PSD. Jesus Christ.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Yes, I can...

Yes, I can be there in ten.

Are you serious? You're leaving?

You just got here.

I know it. She's gonna
cut off my cock and stick it

down my mouth cartel style.
Would you rather I do that?

No, or course not. I
wouldn't want to deal with

an irrational monster who has
temper tantrums all the time.

Just be grateful you only
have to deal with Jeannie.

Okay. You have no
idea what this feels like.

And we're gonna hang out
soon, okay? We'll catch up.

No, we won't. I miss
you. Say it to me.

I miss you. I
miss you. All right.

Fucking slow!

Don't try to hide from me,
'cause I can... I will find you.

I will fucking search across
the fucking world to find you!

What the fuck is
going on? What is this?

Thought I asked you
not to speak to me.

Oh, my God, are you still
listening to this lunatic?

Hey, I'm not gonna rape you.

Definitely not now!

I will hunt you down
like a prey and pee

on your dead carcass!

Let's go.

I just decided as I was
watching each one of you

pack up your shit to go home

like we aren't in crisis mode:

we're pulling an all-nighter.

All fucking night!
No. You know what?

Make the junior
analysts do an all-nighter.

You think that I don't remember

what an all-nighter
is for a junior analyst?

Take-out food and blow jobs.

I'm talking about an all-nighter

where we actually
figure some shit out

and bill some fucking hours.

So we're gonna break up
into two groups, we're gonna

bill some after-work
hours on existing accounts

and we're gonna write some
spec proposals for businesses that

we've been analyzing,
and by 10:00 a.m.

tomorrow, we're gonna
have at least one new account.

Is that good for
you? Good? Good.

Ah! 'Cause I feel so
much better already.

Monica, we've been here
since 8:00 in the morning.

You can't expect us to stay
the whole fucking night, okay?

Says the guy
who left for drinks.

I was gone for 15
fucking minutes,

and you saw me leave,
do you remember?

Why don't the three
of you look at this

like an opportunity Strong.

To learn something
for once I am strong.

Instead of acting like the
pathetic millennials that you are?

Do you need Mommy to
tell you that you're special?

We're not gonna do this,
okay? So we're gonna leave.

- Let's go.
- I am strong...

Let's go. Let's leave.

And in charge. Guys,
we're fucking going home.

I am strong and in charge.

What? I am strong...

and in charge. I am strong

and in charge. We don't do
affirmations in my pod, sweetie.

I am strong and in
charge. We close shit.

We do whatever we have to
do to close shit. I am strong...

Do you understand what I'm
saying to you? and in charge.

I am strong and in charge.

Monica, I don't think
she's here right now.

Why don't you reach deep

into that tight Methodist
snatch of yours

and pull out some goddamn
business for once in your life?

Sic semper tyrannis!

We did it. No, we did not.

We did not do it.

Security!

Oh, you little whore!

Excuse me. Is this Dilaudid?

Do you have Dilaudid?

'Cause I'm allergic
to everything else.

Oh, I saw you guys. No, no,
no, I had nothing to do with this.

I saw you conspiring.

Monica, I had nothing
to do with this, okay?

I am gonna fuck your ass
with razor blades for this one.

You know what?
Just fucking fire me.

Just fucking fire me, please.

Just fucking get me out of here.

No, I see what you're doing.

I know exactly
what you're doing.

No way, bitch. I am gonna
keep you here, right here,

for the rest of your
mediocre career.

This better be Dilaudid!

All I'm saying

is that we... we can't do

too much of a scare tactic,

because then
Colossal is gonna think

that I'm not doing my job,

and we gotta just... just
stay out in front of them.

I know that, but I'm saying

we can't be so far
out in front of them

that it looks like, you know,

you got magical
powers or something.

Right. Right.

Hello. Yeah, this is he.

She was stabbed?

Where?

No, I mean, what
part of her body?

No, that's terrible.

Yes.

Okay.

Okay, bye.

Somebody finally stabbed Monica.

Nicked an artery or something.

Is she...?

Oh, no, she's okay.

You can't kill that.

No, you cannot.

DOD contract, wow.

You know, I always
wanted to get this.

You-You were pretty
ballsy on that one.

Yeah...

Old Gil wasn't
too happy about it.

Old Gil.

So if I wind up at
Gitmo, you will know why.

And I will send cookies.

What about you, Marty?

Are you glad you did it?

Out on your own?

Is it worth it?

Yeah.

♪ Stole my heart, you
took and threw it... ♪

Yeah, I mean...

it-it would be worth it.

If what?

♪ And I kinda like it,
yeah, I kinda like it... ♪

If what?

♪ How did I ever
get to where I'm at? ♪

♪ Somehow I woke up
in the palm of your hand ♪

♪ And I kinda like it ♪

♪ Yeah, I kinda like it ♪

♪ How could I want
you, want you so bad? ♪

♪ And I just let you ♪

♪ How could I have let you? ♪

♪ It took me over ♪

♪ It happened so fast ♪

♪ I'm falling for the
beat, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Falling for the
beat, yeah, yeah. ♪

Meow.