House (2004–2012): Season 8, Episode 22 - Everybody Dies - full transcript

HOUSE: Hey.

(GRUNTING)

KUTNER: Don't bother.

He's dead.

You're dead, too.

The fire isn't.

(FIRE CRACKLING)

You might want to get up
and start heading
for the exit signs.

For all I know,

I already am up.

More interesting
question is..



why would I hallucinate
an ex-employee

who I last saw
with a self-inflicted
gunshot wound,

as opposed to
someone more busty?

Care to explain
why you're here?

The dead guy.

Who is he?

How'd you meet him?

I was in a car accident
last month.

I won a swimming trophy
in high school.
Your turn.

I ran out of
pain medication.

I got an orbital fracture.
It's just taking ages
to heal.

Take off your shirt.

My eye's up here.

Orbital fracture means
your face went
into the windshield.



Which means your chest
went into the steering wheel.

Painkillers can
suppress heart rate,

so unless you want me
to kill you,

take off your shirt,
let me do a heart exam.

I also wanted to see
the ring of burns
around your collarbone.

How did you know?
The "codeine allergy"

you told the nurse about,
that's shorthand for
"give me the strong stuff,"

which matches
your seen-better-days

-because-my-life-fell-apart
suit.

The two old burns
on your fingers

mean you tend to nod off
with a cigarette

in your hand. No reason
you shouldn't do that
with one in your mouth.

May all your doctors
be stupid.

Hold on a second.

That bruising
around your belly button.

You might
get some fun drugs
out of this after all.

HOUSE: Cullen's sign,

but the ultrasound
showed air as well
as blood. Now,

I know what you're thinking.
Hemorrhagic pancreatitis.

But I also know
what I'm thinking.

Doesn't explain
the pneumoperitoneum.

You took a new case?

You ran tests yourself?

I saw the chance to
help someone in need,
and I instinctively...

No, wait, that was
someone else's instincts.

Wilson's dying,
your parole officer

is probably
on his way here
right now.

How are you possibly
in a good mood?

Did you never see
Dead Poets Society?
Carpe diem.

Air in his abdomen
could mean
blah, blah, blah.

But blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah.

Nobody cares
about the medicine.

Perforated ulcer.

Laparotomy to find
the hole in his tummy
and close it up.

You didn't answer
the team's question.

Which is weird 'cause
normally when I talk
to my own employees,

I'm under oath
and hooked up to
a lie detector.

You were looking at
six months of prison

instead of five months
of Wilson.

Why happy?

Obviously I had a plan.

Obviously,
obviously you had a plan.

The more
interesting question is,

why you didn't
tell the team.

I think it's because
part of you knew
from the start

that the plan
wouldn't work.

HOUSE: I need a meeting.

I'm busy.
Call my office.

Yes.

Because wobbly tables don't
just un-wobble themselves.
(DIALING)

(PHONE RINGING)

I need a meeting.

Thanks for fitting me in.

My team has eight urgent,
life-or-death cases

that they've been
waiting for me
to accept or reject.

When is that not true?

Well, right now for one.

But tell my parole board
that I'm taking all eight.

That no one else
can crack them,

that you need me here
for the next five months

or eight people
will die.

You're asking me
to perjure myself.

Just a tiny white lie.
No offence.

Especially since
from what I hear
nothing black is tiny.

Except your penis,
I guess.

You really think
I wanted to cave in
that ceiling?

It was a prank
that went wrong.

Dock my pay, sue me...

Felony vandalism
should've added

another year or two
to your sentence.

It's a miracle
the parole board agreed
to six months.

I will go to jail.
Eventually.

I will pay the price.
I'd just rather
that Wilson didn't.

Come on.
Be a friend.

Okay.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)

But whatever cases you have,
you have to take them all.

"Be a friend"?

How many fingers
am I holding up?

Of course,
you know it's three

because you know
everything I know,

everything
my smack-addled brain
can remember.

Including that
I actually said,
"Be a friend."

My point wasn't
that you said it.

My point was,
once again, why?

I think it's because
part of you knew

you were going
to need a friend.

Part of you knew the plan,
even when it was working,
wouldn't work.

And right now, I'm curious
about why you're sitting
on the ground

instead of heading
for the door.

Guess we've figured out
why you're seeing me,

your suicidal friend.

He'll call you twice a day.
Then his wife will
call you twice a day

to make sure
she understands what
he told her you told him.

Which she won't,
because he didn't.

Maybe you want to
give this one to Connors.

(LAUGHS)
(DOOR OPENS)

Where's House?

Don't know,
don't care, working.

Excuse me.

No one has seen
or heard from him
since two nights ago.

I'm sure he's
enjoying himself.

Last time he went
to prison

he maxed out
his credit cards.

Last time he went to prison,
he thought he had
you waiting for him.

You think
he could have done
something stupid?

I think stupid is
our best-case scenario.

Why do you want
to kill yourself?

Here's a reason.
I can't even get stoned
without some annoying jerk

deciding I need to
be deeply analyzed.

Isn't this
just an incredibly
simple calculation?

I'm going to jail,
losing my job..
losing my best friend.

Do I need more?

You think
that's the sum total
of who you are?

A doctor,
a friend to Wilson?

I'm also
a tremendous baritone.

Now go away.

Even with your subconscious,
you're evasive.

Death's not interesting.

You exist for
what's interesting.

Puzzles, ideas,
analysis.

Death is the opposite
of a cool puzzle.

It's eternal nothingness.

But you don't find life
interesting anymore.

AMBER: Stop being an idiot.

Can I have
Kutner back, please?

How much pathetic wallowing
do I have to sit through?

How are things in hell?

Is the humidity
the big issue?

What happened next
with the guy's
medical case?

Why?
Exactly.

Why am I, meaning you,

still obsessing
about this case?

Obviously,
we think it's relevant

to why we're still
sitting on the floor
of a burning building.

There was a code.

(MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY)

Gotta be a clot in his lungs.
We need to get him to an OR.

CHI: No time,
his O2 sats are falling.

We have to
suck it out here,

bedside embolectomy.
Float a catheter
through his heart

and his oxygenation'll
get even worse.

He'll die before we can
finish the procedure.

House,
we need a call here.

What are you doing?

What did you give him?

Five,

four,

three, two...

(YELLING)

Naloxone.

We should have
got suspicious

when his visiting
cousin signed in
as Mr. Tar H. Horse.

The heroin caused
the respiratory distress,

the naloxone turned
off the receptors,
causing your distress.

I'm not going to
stop doing drugs!

It's reality that sucks!

(AMBER LAUGHING)

You're saying I'm lying?
To my subconscious?

People do it all the time.
And like it or not,
you are a person.

He said
every one of those...

But not then.
And not like that.

This guy was going nuts
from the naloxone.

He couldn't be rational
if you wanted him to be.

Which you did. Why?

I compressed
the story a little to...

Context matters.

You never talk to patients
for non-diagnostic reasons.

But this guy...

Feeling better?

I'm not going to
stop doing drugs.

You were a stockbroker,
son of a stockbroker,

married, children...

And I was miserable.

You say
you were miserable

because you need
to rationalize
screwing it up.

Except I didn't.

I mean, I did,

but I'm not miserable.

Not anymore.

I had a ski injury

and painkillers
weren't enough

and a friend of mine
gave me some heroin.

The second it entered
my veins, it was like

God had
taken over my body.

It was like there was
no more pain

or unhappiness in my life
or anybody else's.

But then
you lost everything.

Everything wasn't enough.

Because it's reality
that sucks.

Are you arguing that
he's a good role model?

He's happy.

He's dead.

You heard what
you wanted to hear.

The more
interesting question,

always,
is why you wanted
to hear it.

(PEOPLE TALKING ON TV)

(lNHALING DEEPLY)
(DOOR SLIDES OPEN)

You're stealing
this guy's oxygen?

There's oxygen
everywhere.

You passed on
all your cases,

reassigned them
to other doctors.

They weren't
interesting.

They were my reason
for getting your
sentence delayed.

Yeah, I guess
you'll have to tell

the parole board
something else.

Maybe that I was
in the OR the entire day
the ceiling collapsed,

so I couldn't have caused
the plumbing problem.

You set me up.
Not really.

You were going to
basically perjure yourself

so that I could
delay jail time.

Doesn't it make more sense
to actually perjure yourself

so I can actually
avoid jail time?

Why are you doing this?

Why are you risking
destroying yourself?

There is no risk.
I know you.

You'll do
the honest thing.

You'll lie.

No.

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

He's happy.

He's dead.

You weren't worried.

Of course I was worried.
My plan fell through.

The plan didn't matter.
Your plan to replace
that plan didn't matter.

Wilson didn't matter,
jail didn't matter,

the only thing
that mattered,

the only thing
that ever mattered,
was the puzzle.

I noticed a slight twitch
in his thenar eminence.

Which meant...

You're dying.

Because my thumb
is a little shaky?

Plus the thinning
of the muscle.

Plus that speech you gave
at Yankee Stadium

saying you were
the luckiest man
on the face of the earth.

Add them up,
it means ALS.

Lou Gehrig's disease?

You're trapped in your body.
You can't move or speak

while you just die?

If it makes you
feel any better,

at this rate,
it'll be fast.

You're not symmetrical.

AMBER: Wait.

Now you're standing
at the door.

What happened
in the meantime?

And lo, there was
a miraculous wonder.
I walked across the room...

No, you just
skipped over a chunk
of conversation.

He swore that
he'd live a better,
more selfless life

in his remaining time,
blah, blah, blah.

After two blahs,
I'd heard enough
and I moved to the door.

No. You're avoiding it.

Do you smell smoke?

Fair enough.

You're not symmetrical.

The veins
on your right side
are distended.

What does that mean?

There's a bulge
in your supraclavicular notch.

There's something
in there.

What?

I'm not
that good a doctor.

Good news.

Your case
is fascinating.

And good news for you,

you're gonna live.

You've inhaled
a smalI branch,

probably while
you were realizing
that it's all worth it

while you were passed out
on a park bench.

Anyone else would
have coughed it up,
but 'cause you're a junkie,

your cough reflex
is suppressed.

OLIVER: And it grew?

HOUSE: Not unless
you also inhaled
a chunk of the sun

and a drip-irrigation
system, you idiot.

It set off
an autoimmune reaction which,
and l can't help saying this,

was the root of
all your problems.

AMBER: You're smiling.

I was, and now I'm not.

Because a moment's
fun a few days ago

does not trump
a friend dying.

Yeah, it does, you idiot.

Because after he's dead
you cry for a while

and then you go back
to doing what you love.

Every patient I've had,

in 70 years from now,
they'll all be
as dead as Wilson.

Everybody dies.
It's meaningless.

When you solve a puzzle,

the world makes sense
and everything feels right.

And you'll always
have another one,

because people
will always get sick.

It's shallow and
it's insignificant,

but if you don't give
a damn if idiots live,

why would you
possibly give a damn
about shallowness?

It makes you happy.

And why would you
need more than that?

Go home.

Foreman.

House would never
leave food out here
rotting for days.

His suitcases are
in his closet.

If we had handled
this differently...

We did the right thing.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

I'll let
his accountant know.

House no-showed
on a hooker
two nights ago.

Outgoing calls.

Hooker.

Me. I didn't pick up.

The Chinese place...

Wait, wait, wait.
Who's that?

He called four times.

I don't know.

(SNAPPING)

(CREAKING)

(TAPPING)

(GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

It's a total disaster.
Do you have any idea
how hard it is

to schedule
a cable appointment
with the hours that I work?

House has been
missing for two days,
we know he talked to you.

WILSON:
Anything you can tell us
about his mental state,

or where he was headed,
anything at all...

Would be a breach
of confidentiality
and a violation of the law.

Not if he's
a danger to himself
or someone else.

Is this coming out
of our 50 minutes?

Is this your
douchebag group?

Excuse me.

What makes you think
he's a danger to himself?

He hasn't been home,
but he didn't take
anything with him,

not even his cell.

You're not
saying anything,

which means
he didn't specifically
mention suicide.

But you came out here
to talk to us,

so he must've
said something
that worries you.

There are other ways
of reaching oblivion.

Vicodin?
He always
has his Vicodin,

there's no reason
to call a shrink...

His last patient
was a heroin addict.

So I guess
we're all done here.

The guy's address has
gotta be in the file.

STACY: What about God?

You were leaving,
and then you stopped.

Why?

Your theory is
I'm not leaving because
I believe in God?

What?
He's calling me home?

Maybe falling through
that floor was a sign.

Maybe that the universe
hates you. Something.

You really don't believe?

Really,
not in some deep crack
of some remote recess

of some dark corner
of your mind?

No.

Except that some deep crack
of some remote recess

of some dark corner
is here telling me...

That's enough.

In a burning building,
facing imminent death..
that's more than enough.

Pascal's wager
is facile.

Saying it's facile
is facile.

Why is it wrong?

Don't be logical.
Be desperate.

You've gotta
have something
to hold on to.

But you can't live your life
based on something
you don't believe.

But you could end your life
based on something
you don't believe?

What about love?

I lived with you for years.
I know you believe in love.

Foreman
wouldn't help me.

Which means I need you
to take the fall.

You do remember
I'm dying, right?

Which is why you'll
never spend a day
in jail.

Fresh-faced,
cancer-ridden.

It's tough to do both,
but you pull it off.

Your fingerprints
are all over
those hockey tickets.

I never admitted to
flushing anything.

My prints make sense
if I gave those
tickets to you,

as an incentive
to stay alive.

And I was so angry
that you didn't
respect my dying wishes,

I took thousands of
dollars of season tickets

and flushed them
down toilets?

All you have to do
is create reasonable doubt.

Great. What if I do
more than that?

What if I end up
in jail?

Or spending my final months
in endless hearings?

That's a risk
you're willing to take.

I have a reputation,
I have a legacy
that could...

Wilson.

I don't want to lose
this time with you.

Okay.

Thanks.

I knew
I could count on you.

Wait! Wait!

You want the fries back?

I'm not
gonna take the fall.

Don't do this
to me, Wilson.

It's our only option.
Exactly.

Because you overplayed
your hand with Foreman.

Because you knew
you had me as a backstop.

Even with me dying,
you just assumed

I'd be here
to bail you out.

Since you are here,
and you are bailing me out,

seems like
a pretty safe assumption.

Hey!

I won't be here soon.

If I do this,
I'm teaching you

that your bad behavior
will always be rewarded.

You need to learn...

How to act
when you're gone?

If that's the lesson,
we've a really great
opportunity coming up.

You'll just try to
find someone else,
and it won't work,

and it shouldn't work.

So that's the great wisdom
you're imparting?

That I'll always
be alone?

There's only one person
you can count on.

I thought there were two.

I need to do this.

For you.

Wilson's right.

He's always right.
He's always been
your good side.

I always wondered
why I photographed
so poorly.

And because he's
always played that role,

you've never had to
develop a conscience
of your own.

People don't change.
Consciences don't
spontaneously develop.

You're wrong, Greg.

Which is why you'll be
better off without him.

You've been looking to him
to find what you've gotta
find within yourself.

Something you can find.

Hold your child.

This is a reason to die.

This is what my life
could have been,
not what it can be.

If it could have been,

you're capable
of it now.

You're married,
Cuddy's gone.

We aren't
the only two people
who could love you.

Why settle so easily?

These are just
idiotic fantasies.

Greg, don't.

At odds with every
logical bone in my body.

Get up.

You do not have
to die in here!

Is this hell?

An eternity of people
trying to convince me
to live?

Who says I'm here to
convince you to live?

You're the last one
I thought would hate me.

I don't hate you.

I love you.

And yet you think
I deserve to die.

But not as a punishment.

As a reward.

I think

you've suffered enough.

You've given enough.

I think you deserve
a chance to just

give up.

Like Wilson did?

Like Wilson did.

You accepted his choice
that ending the pain
is better than the pain.

Why can't you give
yourself that gift?

This is the address
House's patient gave?

Everybody lies.

Do you smell smoke?

(SIREN WAILING lN DISTANCE)

Just let go.

Just go to sleep.

I had a chance
to avoid this.

You had many chances,
and you blew them all up.

No, this was different.

They're all different.
But the reasons
are all the same.

You're arrogant.
You're self-destructive.

You only care
about yourself.

That moment
with the patient.

That chunk of conversation
I skipped over.

I told him he was dying.

If it makes you
feel any better,

at this rate,
it'll be fast.

Let me take the fall.

For you.
For that prank.

You don't
owe me anything.

You tried to save me.

I failed.
Motives don't matter.
Only actions.

Trying is an action.

Why are you trying to
talk me out of this?

You just fake the records,
you say I came into
the clinic last week.

I'll tell the cops
you treated me like crap.

So I stole your tickets
and flushed them.

Thank you.

And you're doing this
because you're dying?

I'm doing this
because I have
nothing left to lose.

So when you were living,
you did nothing for anyone
and didn't care.

Now that you're dying,
you're willing to
help a virtual stranger.

Which means you're
a better person dying
than you ever were living.

And the world's a better place
because I didn't save you.

Which makes me wonder
why I'm about to tell you,

you're not symmetrical.

What's your point?

That you cared about him
more than you cared
about yourself?

You cared about the puzzle
more than you cared
about yourself.

If I kept it to myself,
then it would
just be a puzzle.

But I opened my mouth
because I thought
it was more.

You know it's the same
or you wouldn't be
bickering with me

while the flames lick
at your feet.

You're afraid
of this decision,

and you are trying to argue
until fate takes it
out of your hands.

You're taking
the cowardly way out.

And worse,

you're too cowardly
to even admit you're taking
the cowardly way out.

You're right.

But I can change.

(SIREN WAILING)

JESSICA: He could
have gotten out.

CHI: People are
found sometimes.

Even in collapsed...

I think they're
pulling a body out.

The coroner
confirms it's him.

House hired me when
no one else would.

He got me fired.

He gave me the guts
to get fired.

He gave me the courage
to quit. (CHUCKLES)

MRS. HOUSE:
Gregory was...

He was a good son.

STACY: He was a trying
boyfriend, but I

never stopped
loving him.

DOMINIKA:
He was my husband for real.

(CHUCKLES)

I couldn't help
but love him.

FOREMAN:
He was my boss

and my employee.

At both times,

I learned from him.

TAUB: He made me
a better parent,

whether he meant to or not.

THIRTEEN:
He was willing to kill me.

And I'll always
be grateful.

He wasn't always easy
to deal with...

CAMERON:
...but somewhere in there,

he knew how to love.

He was my friend.

The thing
you have to remember,

the thing
you can't forget,

is that Gregory House
saved lives.

He was a healer,
and in the end...

House was an ass.

He mocked anyone.

Patients, co-workers,
his dwindling friends,

anyone who didn't measure
up to his insane ideals
of integrity.

He claimed to be
on some heroic quest
for truth.

But the truth is
he was a bitter jerk

who liked making
people miserable.

And he proved that
by dying selfishly,

numbed by narcotics,
without a thought
of anyone.

A betrayal of everyone
who cared about him.
(CELL PHONE CHIMING)

Phone.

(CHIMING STOPS)

(ALL MURMURING)

A million times
he needed me

and the one time
that I needed...
(CELL PHONE CHIMING)

Oh, come on!
This is a funeral.

Just get it.

(CHIMING CONTINUES)

(LAUGHS)

This is embarrassing.

I'd sworn
I'd turned this off.

This isn't my phone.

Hi.

How...

I got out of the back
of the building.

The body...

Just switched
the dental records.

You're destroying
your entire life.

You can't go back
from this.

You'll go to jail
for years.

You can never be
a doctor again.

I'm dead, Wilson.

How do you want to spend
your last five months?

(CHUCKLES)

(COUNTRY ROCK SONG PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

When the cancer starts
getting really bad...

Cancer's boring.

(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)

(MOTORBIKES STARTING)