House (2004–2012): Season 7, Episode 7 - A Pox on Our House - full transcript

Shouldn't they
be up by now?

I'm sure they're fine.

They're gonna run out of air.

I'm happy to kill my daughter,

but I'd feel a little awkward
about killing your son.

They're spending time
together, it's good.

We're a family now.
They need to bond.

Yeah. Well, they can bond
with full air intake.

Julie, surface now!

Help! Shark!

Please don't
scare me like that.



What? You said
we should bond.

Look what I found!

You're not supposed to
take anything off the wreck.

How cool is this?

They kind of
look like feathers.

Can I see?

Ow!

Julie!

Get her a towel.

What was
in that jar?

Why aren't you guys
in my office?

Why are you in the building?

It's 8:00
in the morning.

Where's Chase?



He's not here because
it's 8:00 in the morning.

Sixteen-year-old girl, high fever,
vomiting, bloodshot eyes.

Wow, the case of
the really bad flu.

Hmm. Let me see.
Did I leave anything out?

Oh, yeah.
The smallpox.

Smallpox was eradicated
over 30 years ago.

So were Hush Puppies.
Did you check out

your local hipster
coffee shop lately?

Smallpox doesn't exist outside of
P4 labs and bio weapon plants.

She was in Bermuda...

Where she was
scuba-diving

on the wreck of
a Dutch slave ship

that had been
intentionally sunk

because an epidemic of smallpox
had broken out onboard.

Was the ship
sunk in water?

Because viruses can't
survive contact with water.

And if the virus had been kept on
the outside of an airtight jar,

that might be an issue.

The jar held
old-school inoculations.

They kept the scabs of the infected people.

The virus can't
survive over 200 years...

You have.

Thanks for calling back.
Listen, I'm a screenwriter.

And is it theoretically
possible for smallpox

to survive for
more than 200 years

underwater in
a sealed glass jar?

Well,
theoretically, yes, but...

Thank you.

So who do we believe,
the CDC or Dr. 90210?

Isolate, get the baseline blood
draws for smallpox antibodies,

then vaccinate
the entire family.

We should test for the
21st century suspects.

Varicella, measles...

You're free to perform whatever

unnecessary tests
you want, Foreman.

Slavery was
abolished years ago.

Why the hell do you guys
have us quarantined in here?

We're just taking
every precaution.

Against what?

What do you think I have?

One possibility
is tetanus

from the glass jar
that sliced your hand.

I remember tetanus shots.
That does not look like tetanus shots.

It's really not
worth going into,

because the odds
are astronomical.

Tell me.

Again, it's...
Smallpox.

Smallpox?

Vaccine will protect you
if you don't have it,

and lessen the severity
if you already do.

But it's a billion-to-one, so we
don't want you to panic or anything.

How do I not panic
with that information?

Idiot in exam room one needs
anti-diarrheals and a dictionary.

You're not scheduled
for clinic duty now.

I had some free time.
I owed four hours...

Don't you have a case?
Yeah.

Then don't worry about it.

Are you a Stepford doctor?

If you're busy, you don't
need to be down here.

You're serious.

Yep. Get out of here.

I can't.

I forgot her
stuffed animal at home.

It's been with her through all
the chemo sessions so far.

I need Lamby.

She doesn't want
me to do it alone.

Honey,
there's no other way.

You're just gonna have
to be brave, okay?

What if I get someone
to sit with her

while you run home
and get Lamby?

I'll get a nurse.
Then I have to deal with a very sick man.

I think she knows.

Who is she,
and what does she know?

Cuddy and that
I faked a lab test

and lied to her to
save my last patient.

What did she do?

She let me out of clinic
duty because I had a case.

She's never done that.

She's also
probably never ordered

the pasta special
in the cafeteria.

Would that also have some special
paranoid message to send you?

I am not imagining this.

It's an aberration in the
way that she treats me.

How do I find out
what it means?

You don't.
If she doesn't know,

all you're gonna do by sniffing
around is make her suspicious.

If she does know, you'll
find out soon enough.

What if I die of curiosity
in the meantime?

You were an idiot for lying
to her in the first place.

Don't be more of an idiot now.

Say nothing. To no one.
About anything.

That includes me.

It's not smallpox.

Blood work suggests some other infection.
White count is way down.

Masters, you got a boyfriend?

That's none of your business.

Probably just a dry spell.

House, you do realize we
just ruled out smallpox?

Would you ever be extra nice
to a theoretical boyfriend

if you were really mad at him?

I guess the only reason I would be
extra nice is because I'm angry,

and I just want him to go away

so I don't have to
deal with him anymore.

You passive-aggressive bitch.

You just asked me...

What about Foreman's
unnecessary tests?

Negative for
varicella and measles.

So all of our ideas
are off the table.

I'm putting mine back on.

Patient's a diver.

Under increased pressure,
everything in the blood

gets scared, panics,
runs and hides.

Antibodies could
be in the joints.

Tap her knee, ankle, shoulder,

and any other joint
in her smallpox-ridden body.

Good talk.

You know.

Of course I know.

Oh, thank God.

I thought I was
just being paranoid.

Why didn't you say something?

'Cause I wanted you to
come to me and apologize.

I can't apologize if I
haven't done anything wrong.

You lied to my face.

To do my job.
To save the patient's life.

Look, I don't wanna go all Godfather
on you, but this was business.

I wouldn't lie to you
about something personal.

You don't get to lie
to me about anything.

I can't compartmentalize
my life like that.

Well, maybe you should practice,
'cause it comes in handy.

I think you should go.

Ow.

- Sorry.

I have to get the
needle behind the bone.

I'm running out of bones.

If this is a waste of time...
Last one.

We just have to be...

What?

What is it?

I'm sorry.
I have to call the CDC.

I think you do have smallpox.

Am I gonna die?

I mean, this is what terrorists

want to use to
kill everyone, right?

Like, there's no cure.

There are treatments.
We can give you cidofovir...

I don't think you care
about the drugs' names.

Bottom line, it's 30% fatal.

Which means your chances of
being okay are about the same

as a basketball player's chance
of hitting a free throw.

Unless she finds dark,
purplish skin blotches.

What would
purple blotches mean?

Hemorrhagic-type smallpox.

In which case, her chances are more
like Shaq hitting a free throw.

Well, no purple skin,
but take a look at this.

What is it?

There's a rash under
your daughter's arm.

What, like,
more of those gross bumps?

No. It's just
a regular rash.

What does that mean?

It means it's not smallpox.

Are you saying
you see House's side?

It's not even a side, it's
a fictional construction.

She's expecting
House not to lie?

If she's using the relationship

as a rationale to try
to change things...

Wait, wait. Are you saying it's
okay for us to lie to each other?

No. We have a different relationship.
I think a better one.

Lying was never part of it.
Theirs is built on it.

I'm sorry.
I have to go.

Oh, come on. I have to leave
in, like, five minutes.

Can't it wait?
There's a little girl.

The nurse watching her
got called away.

It's a long story,
but I've gotta babysit.

I'll see you tonight.

- Attention.
- Effective immediately,

all hospital entrances and
exits will be restricted

until further notice.

Center for Disease
Control has ordered

Princeton-Plainsboro
Hospital locked down.

Well, I guess I can stay.

Please, step out of the room.

I'm Dr. Broda, Head of
Infection Control, CDC.

And your protective suits
are not adequate.

Turns out they
don't have to be.

Rash under the arm
means it's not smallpox.

False alarm.

Sorry, hope the traffic
wasn't too bad.

Rash is consistent
with smallpox.

Not if it presents
after pustules.

She's probably
just allergic

to the bed sheets
or the hospital gown.

Or you simply didn't notice it.

We're gonna airlift blood and
tissue samples to Atlanta.

We'll have the DNA
results in 18 hours.

In the meantime, please,
step out of the room.

You brought
the plane? Cool.

When we left, Julie's
fever had climbed over 103.

It's not smallpox, she's not
dying, and it's not our case.

Need any other reasons
to forget it?

You know how you can tell
there's nothing to be done?

Chase showed up.

I was here at 9:00.

So you guys just want to do
nothing for the next 18 hours

until they tell us
it's not smallpox?

Can't we spend
the time discussing

what looks like smallpox
but isn't smallpox?

Molluscum contagiosum.

You have to compare
lesions to differentiate.

But we don't have access to the
patient or any new information.

We do have access to
the other patients.

The ones who died of the
same thing in 1793.

The captain's log
from the Sotos Ooslerzoon.

Maritime Museum in Bermuda
graciously sent over a PDF.

Problem solved.

I assume at least one of
you speaks fluent Dutch.

It's the middle of
the night in the Netherlands.

Nobody's working.

Oh, you can always
find someone.

Oh, yes.
My name is Geerte.

Are you handsome
sexiest American man?

Well, you know, some people...

I would say that I am, yeah.

I want you to
translate something for me.

- Why you want
- I translate?

I do topless, toys, and...

Just do the translation.

She can translate however
she feels most comfortable.

Whatever.

You put in credit card.

House, the hospital has
translators on call...

Shut up.

Honey, could you e-mail our
new friend the captain's log?

Sure thing,

sexiest American man.

"On morning of 14 July,

"I boarded Sotos Ooslerzoon
with two trunks and my cat."

Aw. The Captain had a cat.

Isn't she adorable?

Go ahead and skip to the
part where people get sick.

Mmm.

Ah, here.

"The passenger has a fever,
shaking and red eyes."

Ew, also, African man
make go in his pants.

What about the captain,
the crew?

No. It say only
African men sick.

It can't be smallpox.

Airborne transmission means it's
an equal opportunity killer.

We're looking for a disease
that discriminates.

Sickle cell.

The disease doesn't have to be
racist, it could be classist.

Vitamin D deficiency from lack of
sunlight weakens the immune system,

makes the slaves more vulnerable
to malaria or dengue fever...

I don't know how you get
pustules from any of those.

The captain and crew
got clean drinking water.

The slaves drank
whatever they could.

Scrofula.

That's what they called cervical
TB lymphadenitis in the 1700s.

Scrofulicious. That's what they
called annoying in the 1700s.

Is she wrong?

They died for nothing.

Those slaves
could have lived long

fulfilling lives
mowing my ancestors' lawns.

Foreman, can I speak to
you outside for a second?

We need to test for TB.

TB might fit, but it's too slow-moving
to kill her anytime soon.

There's no way that CDC's
gonna give us access.

That's why we
don't think it's TB.

We think it's
meningococcal disease,

which could kill her before
the results come back.

And once I gain access,
I run the TB test.

You could've said
all that in there.

In front of the narc?
As if.

Are you so afraid
of this new girl,

we have to take
elaborate measures

every time you want to skirt
around ethical boundaries?

Elaborate measures?
We took a walk.

A walk you would
have taken anyway.

Actually, I saved you
from the horrible

post-differential
traffic jam.

Meningococcus?

We believe the rash under Julie's
armpit is actually petechial spots.

When added to the high
fever, the vomiting and...

There haven't been any
seizures, no stiff neck...

If I could just gain
access to the patient,

I could investigate
the rash further.

All right, I'll take a look.

I can wear your gear.
I'll take every necessary precaution.

You come to me
with a weak diagnosis.

I even offer to investigate.

But that's not
good enough for you.

What's really going on here?

Sir, are you feeling
all right in there?

It's just a headache.

Baby.

Baby.

Dad, you're bleeding.

Somebody, please,
get in here now!

This is not meningococcus.
You're not getting in here.

Cool.

Not really.
Not for them and not for you.

The dad's new symptoms are consistent
with them having smallpox.

Would be, if he had a headache.

He does have a headache.

No, he just said,
"Ow" and held his head.

Actually, he said, "Ow" then
he said, "It's a headache."

Which could be
indicative of head pain.

Headache is caused by muscle
tension or vascular stretching.

Head pain is caused by trauma.

Which would include such events

as a bleed in
the brain from TB.

- We're back to TB?
- We never left.

We'll need to do a CT.

And I sort of have a hunch

that the CDC is not gonna approve
of us moving the patient.

Chase, can I talk to you
outside for a second?

We just tried this.
I'm not a better liar than Foreman.

Sure you are.
You're descended from convicts.

Plus, there's no lie this
time, just a bait and switch.

You propose that we
don't have to move him

if we do
a pneumo-encephalograph.

That's 60-year-old technology
that killed patients.

Exactly.
He'll compromise on the CT...

This isn't Cuddy.
Your Jedi mind tricks won't work here.

These
aren't the droids you're looking for.

You don't trust me.

Going behind your back works
better when you're not facing us.

Instead of whatever lie
you're gonna tell Broda,

why don't you just
tell him the truth?

If we're honest
and reasonable...

Then people of
all races and creeds

will live together
in peace and harmony...

How did your
first plan work out?

Permission granted.

Thank you.

After she gets denied,
do the bait and switch.

They won't let your mommy
back in the hospital

because of
an emergency downstairs.

But we have to get started.

I can't do it without my Lamby.

Who is she?

I'm nobody, I'm leaving soon.

Her name is Sam,
and she's a friend of mine.

What does Lamby usually do
while you get your treatment?

She holds my hand.

Well, you could hold my hand.

That won't work.

Well, sometimes we have to do
things that we don't want to do.

You have to go to school,

you have to eat
your vegetables,

and you have to
take your medicine.

You have to.

I want my mommy.

Yeah.

I'll be right back.

You know, I'm pretty sure Lamby has
a cousin down in the gift shop.

Hold off a minute.
I'm in overtime.

Broda agreed to
CT the dad's brain.

Well, that sucks.

But I thought
that's what you wanted.

I shouldn't have gotten it with the truth.
He's a hypocrite.

His position ever since
he's been here has been...

I pointed out that
either we're right,

and he's the hero
for ending the crisis,

or he's right,

and he gets to be
the first person

to look at a brain
infected with smallpox.

CT scans weren't
around 30 years ago.

Good work.

So I guess honesty
is the best policy.

Why'd you say that?

Seriously, to establish
your viewpoint,

as if I didn't already know it,

or to demonstrate some weird

cross-generational female
solidarity with Cuddy?

Actually, I was just trying
to fill the awkward silence.

Why have they stopped?

You can't go out there!

Why did you stop?

Get out of the hallway.

He does not have smallpox.

Yes, he does.

It itches.

He's just
developed pustules.

He's now too dangerous
to transport.

Get out of the hallway.

Dad's vitals
are in the toilet.

He's got
full-blown smallpox.

What about
the daughter?

Pustule count is way up
, her vitals are way down.

Means I was wrong.

Well, to be precise, I was right
before I was wrong, so...

So we just give up and go home?

Actually, somebody locked the front door.
But yeah, we give up.

We might as well keep...

We have
our diagnosis.

If you're eager, you can
go find us a new case.

I guess she's eager or has
a blind spot for sarcasm.

I just wanna look at
the rash under her arm

to see if it's
matured to match the...

You can look through the glass.

I need to be closer.

If the pustules are
at a different stage...

She's comfortable.

We're gonna have our results
back in eight hours.

If it's not smallpox, you can
be the first one in there.

Why are you just
standing out there?

I'm just trying to help.

If you're feeling up to it,

can you sit up and show me
the rash under your arm?

Wait.

The soles of your feet...
There aren't any lesions.

Who cares? They're everywhere else.
This is torture.

Eve.

Guess who came by the
hospital for a visit.

Hello, Eve.

Oh, no.

All right, I'm gonna get a couple
of nice nurses to come in here

and get you two ready for
the treatment, all right?

Okay.

How come Lamby can be
here, but Mommy can't?

Lamby was dirty.
We gave her a bath.

This isn't Lamby!

Julie doesn't have smallpox.

Did I just dream the part where I
finally agreed it was smallpox?

Well, if what I
thought was reality

was actually a dream,
then the reverse...

- Oh, my God.
- I had a threesome with Beyonc? and Lady Gaga.

She doesn't have pustules on her
palms or the soles of her feet.

But Dad does
have pustules there.

So how does he get smallpox,
but it skips her?

If I leave like that,
you should follow.

We gave it to him.

Where's Chase?

You do realize we don't
all live together, right?

Well, then just...
We gave it to him.

No pustules on
the daughter's palms, so...

So, therefore,
your theory is

you asked me to
take the dad's blood,

but I accidentally injected
him with smallpox.

Exactly. Although, technically,
it was the vaccinia virus.

Which is what the smallpox
vaccine is made from.

Same symptoms as smallpox,

but only half the calories and
almost none of the lethality.

You sound like one of
those anti-vaccine cranks.

You can't develop full-blown symptoms
from the vaccine this quickly.

You can if you're
immuno-compromised.

Am I the only one who reads these things?
Dad had kidney cancer.

Six years ago.
He's been in remission.

Well, it's obviously back.

It shot his immune system,

made him vulnerable
to the vaccinia.

Which will get
better on interferon.

So if he responds
to the treatment,

that proves he doesn't
have smallpox.

Then what does
the daughter have?

Damn. I was hoping you
weren't gonna ask me that.

Can we please just
focus on the disease

we've just diagnosed
and we can treat?

What's more likely?
He got smallpox

the day after we
immunized him for it,

or he's sick from
the vaccine itself?

You got any proof
the kidney cancer's back?

Well, let me give him this.

When he gets better, that
will be the proof you need.

I'll put on one of
your fancy space suits,

and I promise I won't
kiss him on an open sore.

You know who Janet Parker is?

In 1978, she was working
at a university in England.

Someone in a research lab
on the floor below screwed up.

Some smallpox virus
managed to float up

through the vents into the
room where she was working.

She died four days later, the last
known person to die from smallpox.

And the person in charge of
the lab was so destroyed,

he killed himself.

Now that he's shedding, I can't
open that door for anyone.

Hey! Look.

There's the proof you need.

There's blood in the urine bag.

His kidneys are shutting down.

He's in the final stages
of the disease.

If smallpox was
causing the kidney failure,

the blood would be brown.
It's red.

Because the kidney cancer is
back and this is not smallpox.

I'm not opening that door.

Well, that makes one of us.

Hey!

Hey! You're insane!

But I'm right.

I hope you are. Because I
can't let you out now.

This is what happens when you
have no respect for authority,

no respect for anything.

You don't think it's a little
much to use the threat of death

to win a totally separate
argument with your boyfriend?

You think this is
about the other thing?

It does seem to track
suspiciously closely.

I don't care right now that you lied to me.
I want you to stay alive.

And if I do, does that
mean I win both arguments?

Put the suit on.

It's unnecessary, Mom.

This is why I didn't
want them telling you.

It's why I'm glad
they didn't tell Wilson.

Dr. House.

I'm getting worse, aren't I?

Interferon takes
a little time to work.

Don't worry.

Tell Broda that I'm increasing his oxygen.
And get my team down here.

Hi.

You're mad at us, aren't you?

Yeah.

Well, you have a right to be.
We weren't honest.

You might not know this yet,

but sometimes adults mess up.

Can I tell you something and
you'll keep it just between us?

I'm not great with kids.

I love them, but I get scared

that I'm gonna do the
wrong thing, and then,

I usually do.

That's what I did
with the lying.

And I'm very sorry about that.

But the reason why
I did the wrong thing

was because I was trying to get
you to do the right thing.

Your mommy and your Lamby both
really need you to get better.

So, do you think that you
could be really brave

and do the right thing?

I'll try.

Great.

Great.

Fever's way up, sats are way
down, pustules still spreading.

Interferon's
not working.

Means
this is smallpox.

Right, because there are only two
diseases in the whole wide world.

What else could it be?

There's got
to be something.

No, there doesn't.

There are still
no pustules on her feet.

All the reasons you thought it
wasn't smallpox still exist.

- Forget her feet.
- Forget all those other reasons.

Look at him now.

The pox are dome-shaped,
they're on 80% of his body,

and they're not scabbing over.

This is textbook smallpox.

DDx-ing at this point isn't
gonna make a difference.

Don't say that.

I'm sorry.

House, you screwed up
going in there.

You have any fever?

Not yet.

But when it does come,

I assume you'll
see the pettiness

of being mad at me for lying.

Shut up, House.

I'll be right back.

I'm not gonna make it, am I?

You should say goodbye
to your family.

I love you.

Just hold on.
Fight this.

You gotta take care of my boy.

No.
Promise me.

I promise.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Get Roger closer.

Come closer.

Come on.

Dad?

You're my baby boy.

Dad, please.

It's gonna be okay.

Lulu's gonna take care of you.

I don't want to, Dad.

She's not you.

I will always love you, Rog.

Dad?

Dad!

You're killing me.

The suit will protect you if you
haven't already been exposed.

My air supply's almost out.

We'll give you
another canister.

Yeah, and when I change
it, I will be exposed.

Just move him.

I wish I could.

Well, that's great, because
you know what you can do?

You can move me.

You don't know that
I have smallpox yet.

We have to assume.

There's another isolation
room on the fifth floor.

The problem is getting him
from here to there.

So it's inconvenient?

My having a fighting chance
at life is inconvenient?

I'm sorry.

We don't know
that he'll catch it.

We don't know that
it's definitely smallpox,

not until we get the DNA
results back from the CDC.

What do you think
the dad just died of?

Would it kill us
to talk it through?

Kill us, no.
Save House, also no.

Even if by some miracle
it's not smallpox,

there's nothing more
for us to go on.

There's no new data and there
isn't going to be any...

Where are you going?

To get more data.

"Gerritt seems distant,
preoccupied."

Who's Gerritt?
Is he a slave?

Gerritt is the captain's kitty.

The captain's cat
is preoccupied?

Skip the cat.

"One goat
slaughtered for dinner.

"Broke out the next
barrel of wine..."

Skip the food.

Can we go back to the cat?
Did the cat get sick?

Smallpox is
exclusive to humans.

Ship captains didn't have pets.

Nothing and nobody went on those
ships if it didn't have a purpose.

Hunting mice and rats?

For the crew.

The hold was probably
infested with mice.

What if that's the difference?

What happened to Gerritt?

Ah.

Is that a sad "ah"
or a cute "ah"?

Gerritt, he died.
It's a sad "ah."

Before he died,
did he lose his fur?

How did you know?

Mice don't carry smallpox,

but they do
carry rickettsialpox.

Which is treatable.

Just start them on doxycycline.

Based on a bald cat?
You never heard of shedding?

What's the downside?

If we shove her full of
antibiotics plus the antivirals,

it'll suppress her bone marrow.

That girl's about to die.

She probably is.

And I don't want to risk
pushing her over the edge.

At least look at
the dad's body.

Small patches of black dead
tissue will prove I'm right.

Eschars appear with rickettsialpox
but not with smallpox.

If he had developed eschars,
I would've noticed.

You haven't been within 20
feet of the guy in hours.

Have them check.

Their job is to bleach the
body, kill the virus,

and get it out of there
for Dr. House's sake.

Bleaching the body will destroy
all evidence of rickettsialpox.

There is no evidence.

I'm not trying to
hurt anyone here.

I'm not lying to you.
This is smallpox.

House, you have
to examine the body.

I'm not going anywhere near it.

Look for eschars. Hurry.

You think it's R-pox?

The Captain had a cat.
He lost his fur and then died.

Step back, Dr. House.

It's kind of hard to do
an autopsy in oven mitts.

Take them off.

Says the woman standing
behind two panes of glass.

Do you believe me?

Forget me.
Do you believe you?

You think it's
rickettsialpox, don't you?

If it is, it's curable, and she's
gonna die unless we can prove it.

You really are annoying.

Come on, House.
Come on.

Eschar.

Eschars.

Start the girl on
doxycycline right now.

Mommy!

- You were good with her.
- Yeah.

Only after being bad.

It takes practice.

Maybe I should get a puppy.

Yeah. Or pregnant.

Hey.

You're gonna be okay.

Hey.

Hey.

Buy you breakfast?

No, thanks.

You can pay if it's starting
to feel like I'm carrying you.

House, stop.

When I was dying,

you realized that
a little white lie

between co-workers
wasn't such a big deal.

Yeah, and that was true,
when you were dying.