House (2004–2012): Season 7, Episode 1 - Now What? - full transcript

House and Cuddy are exploring the ramifications of those feelings and attempting to make a real relationship work. Meanwhile, due to a colleague's illness, Princeton Plainsboro is left without a neurosurgeon on site, threatening the hospital's accreditation as a Level 1 Trauma Center. As the team attempts treatment to get their sick colleague back to work, they discover there is more to the illness than they originally suspected and turn to House for direction. Instead, House remains elusive, leaving the team on its own.

Damn it.
I waited too long.

Please, come on,
do something.

Come on, do something!
Do something!

Couldn't have saved her.

It's your choice if you
want to go back on drugs.

You think I can fix myself?

I just need to know
if you and I can work.

Let me see.

It's okay.

It's gonna get infected.

Hey, you're not gonna...



You are.

Don't... Don't...

It's okay.

I love you.

So now what?

Everything's good.
We don't have to talk through it all.

No, I meant it literally.

Now what?

I can make breakfast,
we could go bowling...

We can stay here.

I have to go home, get dressed.
Go to work.

So that's it?

I'm hoping this is
the beginning of "it."

Yeah.



Mmm.

Your assistant's new.

It's a 50-50 chance he just
can't find the light switch.

Hello?

Dr. Cuddy?

No, this is
Dr. Cuddy's nanny.

She's feeling a little
under the weather now,

so she won't be
coming in today.

Oh, I hope she's all right.

Would you mind asking her if...

No, can't do that, I'm afraid.
She's locked in the bathroom.

Terrible bug going around.
What's the problem?

Well, I'm sorry to disturb her,
but it's Dr. Richardson.

He must have
the same stomach flu.

He threw up in the OR, and I'm not
sure how she'd want me to handle...

Hold on a second.

I've talked to Dr. Cuddy, and she
would like you to do three things.

One, send him home, two, sterilize
the OR, three, use your own brain.

See ya.

It was about puke.
That's what's so important.

Puke.

Well, I guess I don't
have to rush back in.

But whatever "now what"
we do decide on,

it comes after you take a bath.

Here's one.

Twenty-five-year-old man with
numbness and tingling in his legs

and a speech disorder, three...

Anybody see House?

It's 10:00 a.m. I'd be worried if he was here.
Twenty-five-year-old...

He was in pretty bad shape
yesterday, after his patient died.

House has lost
patients before.

We all have.
He's a big boy.

You didn't see him.

Best thing we can do for him now
is find him a new puzzle to solve.

Thus bringing us back
to my 25-year-old...

Yet you're the only person here without
a potential case in front of you.

- I haven't found the right one yet.
- Oh.

I thought maybe it was because you
were asking for a leave of absence

and wouldn't have time
to see a case through.

- I didn't say anything.
- He didn't.

I saw an envelope on House's
desk with your name on it,

so naturally I steamed it open.

What's wrong with you?
You steam an envelope to keep it secret.

Which is why I just ripped it.

You gonna tell us
where you're going?

It sure sounds
like a "no."

There's glass everywhere.

Couldn't you have just put the
mirror down nice and gentle?

I was in a mood.

I'll be right back.

Don't get that.

It could be important.

This is important.

Right now,
we are more important

than what's going
on at the hospital.

So, I say we
turn off our phones

and give the morning to us.

Okay. I'll go turn it off.

Thank you.

You're distracted.

I'm not.

You are.
You turned off your phone,

but you're still wondering,
"What could it have been?

"What emergency will bring
down the entire hospital,

"'cause I decided to
take the morning off."

I'm sorry.

The clinic is facing reduced
funding from the state,

Nurse Jeffrey is filing
his 12th HR complaint,

and Richardson's
threatening to quit,

because he's basically been
a prisoner at the hospital

for almost a week.

Richardson?
The neurosurgeon.

He's the only one
I have right now,

which means he has to stay
on the premises at all times

or else the hospital technically
isn't a level-one trauma center.

Which means?

I'd have to shut down the ER,

transfer all the patients
out of the ICU...

Okay, stop.
Turn around.

Why?

Because you need to relax.

Where are we going?

I am going to make
you a magical bath.

It'll have bubbles
and Eastern spices,

and blue diamonds, green clovers,
transformative powers.

But I must have solitude to
focus my creative energies.

Hello?

Interesting factoid.

Did you know that if we
don't have a neurosurgeon

on the premises,

all the puppies in the world will
choke to death on all the babies?

Yeah. You got
a note from Thirteen...

So how come we don't have,
like, five neurosurgeons?

Well, we had three,
but Kapur retired,

and then Nichols just took off
for his daughter's wedding.

I got good news.

For the next 16 hours,
you are the new neurosurgeon.

I'm not a neurosurgeon.

Which would matter if you actually
had to do some neurosurgery.

House, it's a hospital.

The odds of having
to do neurosurgery

are higher than in most places.

If an EMT calls in with a
brain or spinal trauma,

just divert him to
the nearest hospital.

All you got to do is stand
around and keep the ER open.

This is an administrative
problem, not a medical one.

House, where the hell are you?

Great. Glad you're on it.

All systems go!

Why are you going to Rome?

I found the flight
information in your locker.

I love how everyone thinks it's
so quaint and childlike of me

to expect a modicum
of privacy around here.

Your flight's tomorrow.
What's so urgent in Rome?

I hear they wanna tear down the
Colosseum to build a karaoke bar.

The Buona Speranza Medical Center in
Rome is doing a Huntington's trial.

Seriously, I live to sing.

I know that they've been doing
fetal neural transplantation.

I also know that their subjects

have increased risk of
intracranial hemorrhage.

This isn't the time
to join their trial.

This research
is in its infancy.

So is your condition.

You read my note,
you go through my locker,

and then you decide
you wanna round it off

by lecturing me
on my life choices?

I'm worried about you.

Oh, well, that makes
it all right, then.

So what
exactly is this?

It's soapy, open and casual,
and fun if you want.

Open?

You think I want
to see other people?

Well, last night
was emotional for you.

We both lost that patient,
we watched people die.

I came back here,
and I went for the Vicodin,

and you dumped your fianc?,
and you came here.

Which I don't regret.

I'm not saying you do.
I'm just saying it was an impulsive move.

Don't do this.

Why do you have to
analyze things to death?

Why can't you
just let it be nice?

You're right. That was
very anti-secret-bath.

House?

Yeah?

The secret bath is
burning my lady parts.

How do you think my anus feels?

Burning means it's working.

Can we get out now?

I was so waiting
for you to say that.

Could I speak
to Dr. Jankowski?

No. I don't need to
disturb him in Bermuda.

Everything okay?

Dr. Cuddy's phone keeps going
directly to voice mail,

and I need to get
a neurosurgeon

to replace Dr.
Richardson for the day

or else she's screwed and...

I'm a neurosurgeon.

No, you're not.

I've cut into people's
heads more often than...

You did a residency in neurosurgery
at the University of Melbourne

but you were
never board-certified.

You've worked here
two days, how...

Dr. Cuddy's
first assignment

was for me to get to know
everything about Dr. House's team.

And not to believe anything
any of them told me.

I am not a neurosurgeon.

- And voil?!
- The first course.

I have flaked some tender
young ears of corn

with a side of assorted exotic breakfast
meats in a chili sauce reduction.

And the second course?

A single grape.
To cleanse the palate.

Which is kind of a waste,
'cause there's no third course.

I'm glad we stayed in.

This is actually pretty good.

I can always tell when you lie.

I mean, always.

I slept with my
freshman roommate.

A lie.
A truth.

You have a tell.
What is it?

First admit that
you were lying.

Fine. I was lying.

My sexual history is
boring and predictable.

What is my tell?
Are you kidding?

If I tell you your tell, you'll get rid
of it, and I won't be able to tell.

Well, then you have
to tell me something

I don't already know about you.

Even though technically
you didn't tell me something

that I didn't already
know about you.

Quit being so damn logical
and just tell me.

I used to have an intimate
relationship with a photograph of you.

Well, actually,
a sock and a photograph.

I know.

I was lying.

The photo you took of me as
Sleeping Beauty on Halloween.

Why else would you
take that picture?

I have to pee.

Ha! You can't tell, 'cause
I actually have to poo.

What?

Cuddy's assistant decided
to "use his own brain."

Who put that idiot
idea into his head?

Perhaps you could
follow the same advice.

He notified DPH that there's no
neurosurgeon on the premises.

Said he legally had to.
Which he legally had to.

Sounds like you got the
situation under control.

No, I don't.
You know I don't.

When DPH shows up, they're
gonna shut down our ER.

This can't be fixed.
It is what it is, House.

Great. I've got every faith in
your ability to solve the problem.

I have called
every neurosurgeon

within a 45-mile radius.
Nothing.

Do you think House
is just testing us?

He's always testing us.

Test or not, it's a problem.

It's not our problem.
Why the hell is it House's problem?

Where the hell is Cuddy?

We either report this and half
the hospital gets shut down,

or we cover it up
and run the risk

that the entire hospital
gets shut down.

Or we get Richardson.

He's sick.

And we're doctors.
We get people better.

Fing, fong, fooey?

Can I open them yet?

Just a second.

Okay. Hold out your hand.

Oh!

I've always wanted to open a bottle of
champagne with one of these things.

You might want to
stand behind me for this.

Okay.

Oh!

Yeah.

Mmm, I think I might have
got that slightly wrong.

Well, good thing I got a case.

- House! Open up.
- We need to talk.

We should just let him in. No.

House!

If we just ignore him,
he'll go away.

House!

I think
he finally left.

But just in case he hasn't, what can
we do that does not involve talking?

You turned on my ringer?

- I know you're in there.
- I can hear your cell phone ringing.

Just let him in.

No.

He's like a stray.
He'll eat everything,

shed all over the place
and crap on the floor.

Hi, this is Gregory House.

I can't take your call at the
moment, please leave a message.

If this is Wilson, I'm fine,
not suicidal, not on drugs,

coping very well with the
loss of my last patient,

so feel free to go about
your day without worry.

Beep!

House, you can't
just not show up to work.

What's Cuddy gonna say?

If this is still Wilson,
she gave me the day off.

And tomorrow.

Okay, maybe not tomorrow, but today.
I'm fine. Now go away.

Beep!

If you're not in
tomorrow, I'll be back.

Look, you're the only
neurosurgeon we've got.

You have to suck it up
and go back to the hospital.

We're not asking you to operate.
Just to be there.

Unless you can transport this toilet
with me, I'm not leaving the room.

I'll get a bucket.

You're missing the point.
I ate bad sushi, I'm sick. Go away.

We can give you promethazine
for the nausea.

Already took it.
And trimethobenzamide.

Maybe this isn't
food poisoning.

Whatever it is, it must have
damaged the lining of his stomach.

Till that heals,
nothing's gonna work.

So we need to treat
both that and the nausea.

And whatever's wrong with him.

We give him ondansetron
and prostaglandins.

And whatever's wrong with him.

Neither of those will treat any
possible underlying condition.

Who cares? He's not our
patient, the hospital is.

I can hear you.

You're pretty
miserable, aren't you?

Would you be willing to take a fairly risky
drug if it would make it all go away?

Why didn't you let him in?

You were thinking about Wilson
while we were having sex?

That's so cool, so was I.

You were hiding me from him.

Why?

I wasn't hiding you.
I was protecting your privacy.

I wasn't sure if you were ready to go
public with the whole "us" thing yet.

Why would I be doing all this
if I wanted to be private?

I never even asked.

Maybe you're not ready yet.

You read the list of side
effects on those drugs?

We could crash his BP.

I haven't heard a thump, so I
assume he's still quietly puking.

We could be making him worse.

Bigger picture, we're
making the hospital better.

We can test for whatever
you wanna test him for

once he's stable enough to
get back to the hospital.

Now stop being a girl and move.

So, you gonna ask me about
this Huntington's trial?

And by "ask," I mean,
"Give me your opinion."

No.

There is one thing, though.

Will you have sex with me?

What?

Well, this trial means
you're leaving right away.

I was playing a long game.
Deadlines have been moved up.

Wow. That stuff is good.

Think you can make it
back to the hospital?

Uh-huh.

That lamp is shiny.

I mean, the way it shines is

shiny.

I take it this is one of the
side effects of the drugs.

Who cares?
Let's go.

What are you doing?

You think I'm afraid to go public?
I want to prove you wrong.

With a tripod?

With a sex tape.

We'll send it to Wilson.
It's a win-win.

We get to do it again, and he
might actually learn something.

It sounds like
someone's trying to break in.

It's probably nothing.
Stay here.

Hey.
Stuck?

Bummer. Looks painful.

Chamomile or English Breakfast?

Would you stop being an ass
and pull me out of here?

You didn't get
my message earlier?

Yeah, but someone once
told me everybody lies.

I'm fine.
Just staying home, chillaxing.

Your patient died, you ignore my
calls, and you won't open the door.

I don't think you're fine.

I think you might be throwing
away a drug-free year.

Or I'm ignoring you
for a different reason.

Sex with my girlfriend.

Hmm.

Will you please just...
Please let me in.

Thank you.

And since when did you start
referring to hookers as girlfriends?

She's not a hooker.

What... Really?

Begins with "C,"
ends with "Uddy."

How many Vicodin
have you taken?

I'm serious.

Cuddy and I are now Cuddy and I.
There's an "l" in "Cuddy."

House, it's okay.
Almost all addicts relapse a few times.

She's in my bedroom.

You're hallucinating, House.

Honeybuns, we got company!

Pupils are normal,
pulse is normal.

Better than that, they're
both totally awesome.

I'm not on drugs.

So, why did you
lie about Cuddy?

To make a point.

Probably something to do with shutting you up.
That's my go-to idea.

You do seem okay.

You want me to stick around?

I could do my usual
thing of pretending

I like watching
monster truck rallies,

if that would
make you feel better.

No, you go.

House, you could have died.

You had a patient who did die, in your arms.
You shouldn't be alone.

I know. That's why
I called a hooker.

Now go away, you'll be extra.

Are you really okay?

Are you gonna break in again?

You checked my pulse,
you checked my pupils,

I'll mail you the urine sample.

How come I've never
even met you guys?

You're like the greatest guys.

You know fluorescent lights flicker at
the same frequency as the human brain?

You know the human
brain doesn't flicker?

It doesn't take a brain
surgeon to figure out

that he can't perform
brain surgery.

What's wrong with him?

High blood sugar.

He'll be fine as soon
as we rehydrate him.

That's a relief.

Thank God. All right, the DPH
guy will be here in 20 minutes.

What is wrong with him?

High blood sugar.
You just said so.

Chase is running labs.

Right now, the top two contenders are
hepatitis and peptic ulcer disease.

So, is today
really your last day?

Flying out tomorrow.

How long a leave
are you taking?

Depends. On the drug trial.
Sounds risky.

Yada yada, you don't think I should do it.
Message heard.

No, I approve.

Living fast and
dying young is crap.

If you have a chance to get
better, I say good for you.

I brought Wilson in here
specifically to go public.

Just like you requested.

I pressured you. Wilson coming
through the window pressured you.

If you're forced into this,
it's not gonna work.

Do you have any
response to that?

Game on.

Is he better?

Yep.

You're lying to me
again, aren't you?

Yep.

Then we're screwed.
Don't we have to tell...

Oh. Damn. Dr. Richardson's
prepping for surgery.

Yeah, I need to talk to him.

He's prepping for surgery.

So you said.

I just need to confirm
he is who you say he is,

and that he's
a licensed neurosurgeon.

Well, here's his paperwork.

His hospital ID is right there.
You can see it's him.

Yeah, I should
still talk to him.

They've already scrubbed, he'd
have to be re-sterilized,

the patient's anesthesia
would have to be adjusted.

Why did you report
he wasn't here?

I must have misunderstood.

Why is it so hot in there?

La de da.

Woodstock, baby.

Is he stoned?

No, we're
pretty sure he's got...

Oh, I'm sure you have an
explanation, but I don't care.

See, you need to have a
doctor on the premises

who can actually
do neurosurgery.

Tell the attending to
divert all ambulances away.

And start calling
other hospitals

to see who can take your
stabilized ICU patients.

Those departments
are shutting down.

"Design" for five points.
Got it.

"Hear."

Got it.
Both versions.

"Love."

You didn't see "love"?

Wow. I didn't think you'd take my lack
of board game skills so personally.

Why didn't you
tell me you loved me?

Didn't a wise woman once say, and
by once I mean, two hours ago,

"Why do you have to analyze
everything to death?

"Why can't this
just be nice?"

I told you I loved you.
You didn't tell me you loved me back.

You don't think that should
give me cause for concern?

No. Because words don't matter.
Actions matter.

You're really gonna
take a stand here?

You can't say it?
No.

Why?

Because I forgot
to grab a "V."

"Lobe" gets you one point.

One.

Labs show he's negative
for everything.

I'm guessing at least
one of them is wrong.

Who cares?
The ER and the ICU are half empty,

the place is crawling
with suits, it's over.

You do know we still have
a sick patient here, right?

He's the guy sitting right behind
you taking off his clothes again.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why don't you just sit
down and take it easy?

He should be
coming down by now.

And yet I'm not.

What if his behavior isn't a
side effect of the ondansetron?

What if it's a symptom?

Thank you.

What causes
delirium and nausea?

He's been stuck here
in the hospital a few days.

Nobody else is sick, so it
can't be environmental...

Not exactly stuck.
I snuck out.

Freedom is my birthright.

Where did you go?

The seafood festival
at the convention center.

We're screwed.
The seafood festival

has stuff from all
around the world,

in combinations
nobody ever thought of.

We could be here all year.

You had shrimp? And crab?
Lobster? Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

And?

I ate whatever looked good.

Did you eat any roe?
Little tiny eggs?

Nummy.

Toad eggs will cause nausea,
and they can get you high.

If I'm right, the
antidote is fast-acting.

If we can get him to keep
his clothes on long enough,

he can pass as a
functioning neurosurgeon.

Um...

France. And not
Paris or the Riviera.

But there's this place in Normandy.
It's on a tidal island.

Everyone who's not staying in one
of the small inns has to leave

before the tide comes in.

You have this 900-year-old
fortress all to yourself.

It's called...

Mont-Saint-Michel.

That's it.
Have you been there? Nope.

But I got a pretty good
idea what it looks like.

How did you know?

You used to have a
picture of it as a screensaver.

And that was years ago.

I guess it's a memorable place.

Now unfortunately, we can't
fly straight to Normandy,

but the layover in London
is only a couple hours.

What are you talking about?

It's all there.

All you got to do
is click "confirm,"

and we'll be eating croissants

and being insulted by stinky
people this time tomorrow.

Don't worry. I used
Wilson's credit card.

I can't.

I'm kidding.

I used your credit card.

House...

The hospital does
not need your body.

I do.
So does my daughter.

Well, she can come, too.
Or to Grandmother's house she can go.

This is crazy.

So, you can break
off your engagement,

but you won't
adjust your schedule.

I can't.

Not tomorrow.

But two weekends from now.

If Rachel's gonna
stay with my mom,

I'm gonna need
a little bit of prep time.

Okay.

What if it doesn't work?

What if I stay
this way forever?

The antidote works quickly.

If we're right, you should be
back to your old self in no time.

My old self was boring.
Can't we keep the new self?

Just lay down and
stop unbuttoning.

I'm sorry that I read your note
and looked in your locker.

You get used to that kind
of thing around here.

Do you have anyone
going with you to Rome?

Is that your
passive-aggressive way

of asking me if I'm
seeing somebody else?

I hope you are.
I mean, I hope you have someone with you.

If I'm scared about this, I can't
imagine how you must feel.

You shouldn't be alone.

If you want, I could fly
over for a few days.

Friends.

I appreciate that,
but I think I'll be okay.

I guess we took the long way
round to being friends, huh?

I guess we all did.

Thank you for everything.

You're welcome for everything.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I really do have to leave.

I know.

Then what's the problem?

This isn't gonna work.

That's it?
You can't just say that and shut up.

It's a statement of fact.
It's not a debatable proposition.

Right. Because you
can see the future?

No. But I can
see the past.

And you're gonna remember all
the horrible things I've done.

And you'll try to convince
yourself that I've changed,

but then I'm gonna start doing
those horrible things again

because I haven't changed.

Then you'll realize that

I am an insane choice
for someone who has a kid.

And from there,
it's a short step

to the inevitable
conclusion that all of this

was a mistake.

Tell me any of that isn't true.

Mercy doesn't have enough room in their
ICU to handle the overflow, so...

Don't worry about it.

I believe you wanted to talk to Dr.
Richardson, our neurosurgeon.

I'm sorry that we met under
such trying circumstances.

I hope you'll restore our rating
as a level-one trauma center

and re-open the ER
and the ICU immediately.

An accidental
case of poisoning.

Dr. Richardson has been treated
and is ready to resume work.

Touch your nose
with your index finger

and tell me how you'd
treat a cerebral contusion.

I would watch for edema
and transtentorial herniation.

Good enough.
Turn it around.

You're gonna be up late.
Next time, avoid responsibility.

Cake?

Taub thought we should have a little
party to see you off properly.

He gets sentimental
about these things.

I never should
have flashed him.

Speaking of which, earlier
today I asked you about

having sex.

You gave me a look that almost
certainly could only mean no.

However, on the other hand,

I'd be remiss if I didn't
follow up and confirm.

See? That's the same look.

So if it didn't mean "no"
the first time, then...

No. No, no, no.

No pressure.

Does that method ever work?

At least once.

I'm getting mixed signals.

I'll see you at the cake.

The only time you're afraid
is when you're happy.

You just don't
expect it to last.

Because it doesn't.

You don't know that.

I've done
horrible things to you.

I will do
horrible things again.

To you.

But because of one stupid moment with
a dying girl in a pile of rubble,

you think I can change.

Tell me where I'm wrong.

I don't want you to change.

I know you're screwed up.

I know you are always
gonna be screwed up.

But you're the most incredible
man I've ever known.

And you are always gonna be the most
incredible man I have ever known.

So unless you're
breaking up with me,

I am going home now.

I love you.

Where's Thirteen?

I don't think she's coming.

What's going on?

She's not going to Rome.

You mean she
changed her mind...

I called the hospital in Rome to see
when she was scheduled for surgery.

Why would you...
It doesn't matter.

The point is
she's not even in the trial.

Never heard of her.

She's been lying to us all day.

Well, have you tried...

Both her phone lines
have been disconnected.

She's just gone.

It's gonna be great.

Yeah.