House (2004–2012): Season 6, Episode 18 - Open and Shut - full transcript

- Who is it?
- It's Tom.

Tom, your husband?

What's he doing here?

- What's going on?
- Sorry, I'm not supposed to be here,

but Evelyn's school contract
is due tomorrow.

I knew I was forgetting something.
Let me find a pen.

Not quite sure what Emily post
recommends in this situation,

but I'm Tom.

Damien. Hey.

Sorry to intrude. I wasn't quite sure
when she'd be coming home.

- No problem.
- Thank you so much for catching this.



I'll get out of your way, it was good
to meet you, I'll see you later, hon.

Seems like a nice guy.

- Jules, you okay?
- No, my stomach.

Here. Lie down.

Try to...

Get Tom.

.:: La Fabrique ::.

R[H]?sus AB+ Team

You know what would be perfect?

French toast tower.

You still go to Mickey's?
What's your cholesterol?

It's my one vice.
I'm keeping it.

As much as I would love
to clog my arteries,

I have a 10:00 CT
and I still have to race home,



get changed.

Maybe you could keep
some clothes here.

Maybe I could.

He's just trying
to get into your skirts.

And I don't mean metaphorically.

He's got the legs for it.

So I will see you tonight?

Have a nice day.

"Have a nice day."

- How civilized.
- I said I'd stay out of it.

- What?
- Nothing.

Clearly something.

On a list of your attributes,

there's nothing
that even rhymes with "coy".

Okay, I may have seen something
in the fridge.

Like the end of your relationship.

She put the milk in the door
and not on the shelf.

- It's not a big deal.
- You hate that she did that,

but you didn't say anything.

- You're trying to get us to fight.
- No, I'm trying to help.

If you got an issue, let her know.

I should have known
that you weren't done sabotaging this.

Fine.
Stew in your irritation.

And sure, last time it bubbled over
into resentment and rage,

leading ultimately
to a painful divorce

that neither of you ever
really recovered from,

but I'm sure this time
it'll be great.

Interesting case. 35-year-old woman
with fever and abdominal pain.

E.R. ruled out
all the usual suspects.

Stop before you interest me
to death.

And she's in an open marriage.

- Not interesting. It's just weird.
- Know what's weirder?

That other humans are monogamous
in the first place.

No other species on the planet
mates for life

and if you're gonna bring up swans,
they cheat like everybody else.

They just have better PR
than rabbits.

Animals also eat their young
and kill their rivals.

That make it weird
that most of us don't?

Says the guy whose opposable thumbs

have been all over how many women
who aren't his wife?

A functional open marriage
is like a Unicorn.

A mythical creature that doesn't exist.
Someone always ends up unhappy.

She's unhappy because she's suffering
from an intestinal blockage.

Boring. Then we have to find a reason
to rule it out.

What about herpes colitis?

She picks up it from one partner.
It takes root in her colon.

- STD panel was clean.
- Chances are, this couple was unhappy.

This is their attempt
to save something that never...

- Go on.
- Herpes might not register

if she was exposed
in the last six weeks.

But it would show up
on a barium enema.

Wait.

- You're gonna do it?
- Gotta see if our patient's a Unicorn

or just a slutty horse.

Think how much fun
Taub could be having.

Barium coats the inner lining
of your colon.

Lets us get a good look
at it on the X-ray.

Somebody else can pick up Evelyn.
I feel like I'm abandoning you.

I'm on painkillers.

I'd rather this not be what you think
of every time you look at my butt.

Roll onto your side.

It's fill'er up time.

So is Evelyn his new squeeze?

- She's our daughter.
- Must be interesting

growing up in a production
of Oh! Calcutta!

She's six.

She knows as much about our sex life
as any other kid her age.

You can explain that she's the reason
the two of you stayed married.

You've been in the room five minutes.
You got us all figured out.

Of course, you left out the part
where we love each other

- and we want to grow old together.
- You don't want to be young together.

When you think about it,
tons of couples do what we do.

It's just that with most of them,
one spouse doesn't know about it.

We decided things work better
when people tell each other the truth.

Tank's full.

I'll page the radiology elves.

I'm not saying I hate it.
Just doesn't go with your eyes.

- You hate it.
- Little bit.

Any more heartless critiques
of my general appearance?

Nope. All done.

So is she as bendy as she looks?

- Maya and I are just friends.
- No, you and I are friends

and you don't have coffee with me
three times a week.

She's an interesting person.

She grew up in Ohio.
She has three brothers.

Fascinating.
Last week, that Cambodian lab tech

was telling us
how he survived the Killing Fields

and you left to go get a donut.

- So we flirt. It's fun.
- It's dangerous.

- That woman would totally do you.
- You think?

- Nothing is gonna happen.
- If you want to be on a diet,

you might want to stop
hanging out by the dessert cart.

X- ray was clean.
She doesn't have herpes colitis

or abdominal pain.

It stopped hurting during the X-ray,

which means it was
an intestinal blockage that passed.

- We should discharge her.
- Absolutely.

There's no need to find
any underlying cause

'cause these things
never happen twice.

Take her digestive system
for a test drive.

Give her a radio-opaque milkshake.
X- ray every 15 minutes to see

if it makes any unscheduled
stops on the way through.

- We'll be here all night.
- No, Taub will be here all night.

Talk to the Unicorn

and then tell me you don't believe.

I did an abdominal CT on a kid today

and found a six-inch bezoar

made entirely of gum.

I mean, who gives a three-year-old
an endless supply of g...

You okay?

I mean, there was hair in it
and maybe a piece of paper.

How long you been married?

One of the few drawbacks
of having an open marriage.

Nobody ever asks me
about current events or the weather.

Yankees look good this season.

Seven years.

How long have you...
You know?

After three years, we realized
that traditional marriage

was making us both miserable.

Most people
get divorced at that point.

We didn't want to get divorced.
We still loved each other.

We just realized

that expecting one person to fulfill
your needs forever is unrealistic.

There are happy monogamous
couples out there.

Sure.

One or two have the perfect marriage.
Everybody else has figured out

how to settle for less.

I don't want to settle
and end up resenting my husband.

I'd rather get the 10%

he doesn't give me somewhere else
so that I can...

really appreciate him
for the 90% he does.

I think something's wrong.

- With your stomach?
- My heart is racing.

Try and take deep breaths.
I'm gonna try to slow your heart down.

- Is this because of the blockage?
- No. It's not working.

Need a crash cart in here!

I need a list
of all your sexual partners

from the last six months.

- Why?
- Your wife had an arrhythmia.

The progression of symptoms
from bowel to heart

makes a parasitic infection
most likely.

Since Julia hasn't been out
of the country...

The only place that I've been recently
is a business trip to Nebraska.

But either of you could have picked up
a bug from one of your partners.

It's kind of...

complicated.

How many partners
are we talking about?

Ballpark.

- None.
- None?

We have a great sex life.

I don't need anyone else.

So why not just tell her that
and close this whole thing up?

- You married?
- I was.

Did you ever agree to go see
a chick flick with your wife

or pretend to enjoy classical music?

Stravinsky never groped my wife
in a Midtown hotel room.

She needs this.

I don't.

But I don't want her
to feel bad about that.

He's lying.

Guy's got a license to drill.
Why would he lie about not using it?

That's not the lie.

The lie is that he gives a crap
about how his wife feels.

If they're both screwing around,
that's one thing.

But if she has a piece on the side
and he doesn't,

the only way he'd be okay with that is
if he's betraying her in some other way

that, in his mind, makes them even.

My Unicorn isn't a Unicorn.

It's a donkey with a plunger
stuck to its face.

Even the guy who's not cheating
is doing it for underhanded reasons.

He's not being cynical.

He's assuming the husband
is doing something to even the score,

which means he thinks
there is a score, which means,

cheating swans aside,
House believes in monogamy.

He's being romantic.

What I believe is that men are
genetically engineered to be jealous.

Doesn't matter if there's a score.
I guarantee you he does.

Any of the wife's partners pan out?

She's been with two people
other than Tom in the last six months.

Neither of them have been
outside the tri-state area.

- We're back to the husband.
- You said you believed...

He's doing something
behind her back.

What better cover
than a business trip to Nebraska?

Like that's really a place.

Let's find his travel records
and get back to work.

You seem pretty mellow
about this couple's deal.

Thought you'd be first
in line to shake a finger.

They're still married. I'm not.

Not that I could ever do it.

I was jealous of House
and Cameron never touched him.

Not counting the emotional fondling.

When my mom was dying,
my dad had an affair.

- He told you this?
- I'd seen them get out of his car.

Two years after mom died,
they got married.

- That must have sucked.
- At the time, yeah.

But looking back...

It makes sense.

My mom never knew about it and he needed
someone to make him feel less alone.

He took care of my mom

day in and day out
for 21/2 years before she died.

He was devoted to her.

Loving someone else
didn't change that.

So loving two people at once is fine
as long as one of them is dying?

Whoever's taking care of me
when I get sick, I hope they've got

someone else to take care of them.

Tom was telling the truth.
He really did go to Nebraska.

Plane ticket and restaurant seats.

Forget Nebraska.

Maybe they just bought
their parasites at the mall.

We should really throw away
that loofah.

Sometimes they're not sterilized.

We think our patient
got amoebiasis from hers.

Is she gonna be okay?

We're treating now.
She should be fine.

It's actually kind of bizarre.

She and her husband
have an open marriage.

- They sleep with other people?
- She does. Her husband's fine with it.

It's crazy, right?

And you're bringing this up because?

I thought it was interesting.

More interesting
than your other cases, I guess.

I mean, you talk about your colleagues,
you rant about House.

You don't usually mention
your patients.

Is open marriage something you want?

I mean...

I know you'd never...

All this time

and energy you spent convincing me
you weren't cheating...

- And there's somebody else.
- I'm not...

There's a woman at work.

People say she's attracted to me,
but nothing's happened.

Nothing's going to happen.
I'm not having an affair.

- But you want to.
- No, honey.

I'm trying to be honest.
I don't want to make the same mistakes.

Be honest then.

Are you attracted to her?

She's attractive.

There's an attraction.

Aren't there men
who make you feel that way?

Of course there are,
but it never occurs to me

to act on it because I'm married,

to you.

And that's enough for me.

- Aren't I enough for you?
- Of course you are.

Our patient's lost all movement
in her legs.

There are other doctors, Chris.
We're talking.

I'm sorry.

The woman's paralyzed.

I'll get a cab.

Tests show no spinal cord injury,

no cerebral lesions, no hemorrhage.

Finally got a stool sample.
The loofah's innocent.

No sign of amoebas
or any other parasites.

So paralysis, arrhythmia,

and intermittent abdominal pain.

And he nicked himself shaving.

Sorry. That was Taub.

But it was easier to solve.

He used the crappy razor in his locker,
which means he slept here.

Thanks to you.

I brought up open marriage
with Rachel.

It was a disaster.

On the medical front,

we've knocked out sex
and foreign travel.

Could be an electrolyte imbalance.

The only time you're not interested
in my marriage is after you blow up?

You moron took marital advice
from Tila Tequila.

You pushed me into this.

Figured it would blow up your marriage
or make it more honest.

- Either way, you win.
- What about sex?

I'm talking about the patient.
Is that cool?

- We've ruled out sex.
- We ruled out sex with other people.

He and Julia have been doing it
three or four times a week

and she's got boys on the side.

Increased libido can be a symptom
of adrenocortical carcinoma,

which also explains
her other symptoms

A woman who likes sex must be sick?

Because everybody here

wishes that all women
were horny all the time

doesn't make it so.

Get an MRI of her adrenal glands.

Okay if I take the sports page?

Sure.

Would you mind using a coaster?

Sure.

- Sorry.
- It's okay.

Also, it'd be great

if you'd replace the toilet paper
when you finish a roll.

And with the dishwasher,

you can't put a big, flat bowl
on the bottom.

It traps the water
so nothing on the top gets clean.

And don't throw banana peels
in the bedroom trash.

I haven't done any of those things.

- You're probably not even aware of...
- I hate bananas.

My God, it was House.

I'm sorry.
He's been trying to get us to fight.

Why would he think that stuff
would make us fight?

Because of the milk.

You put it in the door.

The body of the refrigerator
is the coldest part.

The temperature in the door fluctuates,
which decreases shelf life.

When did you get all OCD?

I just want clean dishes
and unspoiled milk

so we can all stay healthy.

It's about health.
What about the coaster?

Does that replenish my B12
or something?

- Can we just drop it?
- Sure.

You have this list of annoyances
the entire time we were married?

Get better, mommy.

I love you, rabbit.

You have a guest.

This isn't a good time.

Dr. Hadley, did you say
there was a video game in the playroom?

Maybe you can teach me
how to play one of them.

See you in radiology.

Get out of my wife's room.

Your relationship
stays out of our space.

- I was worried about her.
- Tom's right. You should go.

So it's fine if we have sex,
but if I drop by

- to see if you're okay...
- This is our family.

I spent two years of residency
wearing shirts a size too small.

How hard is it to ask me
not to put them in the dryer?

And I only did it
because you were never home.

- I didn't ask you to.
- Of course!

You got annoyed
when you didn't have clean underwear.

- I never said I was annoyed.
- That's the point.

- You didn't say anything.
- I'm getting a lecture on communication

from someone who had her lawyer
inform me our marriage was over.

Asking for an open marriage.

You got stones.

Conversation sort of got away from me.
It was a train wreck.

It's good you brought it up.
I read a study

that found men who have multiple copies
of a certain vasopressin receptor

are twice as likely
to be unfaithful.

Maybe you're one of those guys.

So my cheating
is biologically predetermined?

Fantastic.

Multiply times five.
We need a better look.

I thought you'd be relieved.
This gets you off the hook.

It's just genetics.

I'm 5'6" and have a receding hairline.
I hate genetics.

Medulla's clean.

You don't wear lifts or hair plugs.

Being short and bald
doesn't hurt anybody.

The only thing hurtful
about your other genetic predisposition

is that you keep denying it.

It's not good for you or Rachel.

There's nothing there.
It's not adrenal cancer.

And maybe you're right about me.

But I'm not gonna stop trying.
Rachel's worth it.

Look up there.

The lung. What is that?

You served me with divorce papers

in the middle of a conference
in New Orleans.

- I threw a bottle into a mirror.
- You exhibited an emotion?

- I wish I'd known you were capable.
- I loved you.

I thought I was gonna be following you
to Baltimore.

I called about apartments.
I set up interviews.

How could you think
we still had a marriage?

We hadn't had a conversation
in months.

I was working two jobs
to support us.

It's because when you were home,
it was like talking to a block of ice.

- You were so pissed off at me.
- I was killing myself so you could take

- a non-paying internship.
- That you said I should take.

To be supportive!
Do I have to be the bad guy?

Expressing yourself
doesn't make you so.

Okay, then.
You were being a selfish bitch.

VQ scan confirmed the spot
on Julia's lung was a clot.

Think there's a chance
the husband's a plushie?

If he has a secret, I highly doubt
it's more relevant than the clot.

Clotting disorder
would explain everything.

Question is, which one?

Do you read
any of your departmental memos?

Only the ones labeled, "NSFW".

Accounting notified you two days ago
about your patient's insurance.

Sorry, that's "NNSFW".

Here.

He doesn't have any.
Try not to bankrupt them.

I'm long past the number of procedures
that'll bankrupt them.

Julia's got insurance.
I saw the policy number.

It lapsed due to non-payment.

I already made three calls about this.
You should have been aware of that.

There's just a mistake.
Of course we have health insurance.

We're actually

a little behind on the premiums.

But I pulled money
out of my retirement account

to cover it, we'll be fine in...

Why the retirement account?

We'll just give you
a few minutes to...

By "we", she means "she".

I lost all of our savings.

Sounds like a secret to me.

I started her on heparin
to prevent further clots,

but we still don't know
what's going on.

Of course the husband's secret
was money.

If it's not sex, it's always money.

Unless it's sex for money.

How did he lose it?

It's not relevant,
you're not gonna care.

Wilson's been teaching me. Try me.

He builds wind turbines and leases them
out to local power companies

You're right, I don't care.
Clotting disorder:

DIC, Factor Five Leiden,
antiphospholipid syndrome.

Vitamin K deficiency also fits.

Causes thrombophilia
and is consistent with abdominal pain.

Congratulations, House.

- Sam ended it.
- What happened?

Go test our patient's blood.

It can wait.

For everything we discussed.

I'm sorry.

At least you're taking responsibility
for once in your life.

Sorry that she left.
It's not my fault.

I didn't even want to get involved.

You dragged it out of me.

What about the dishwasher,
and the banana?

She left because of the banana.

I just wanted you
to stand up for yourself.

Tell her what you want.

If doing that causes her
to walk out for the second time,

your relationship wasn't gonna last
anyway.

Or you could have stayed out of it.
I could have kept my mouth shut,

been annoyed sometimes,
but I'd be happy with her.

Now all I have is cold milk.

As long as you're free,
you wanna grab some dinner?

Did Tom go home?

For starters. I told him to leave.
I don't want him here.

Money is a complicated subject.

It's not the money.

I mean, the money's bad, but...

When we first opened our marriage,

I got involved with a guy
who lied about being single.

Then one day, his wife calls me.

She's crying and screaming
and totally out of control.

And I felt,

superior.

I thought
I don't have to worry about

feeling this way
because we are honest with each other.

Well, here I am.

Sorry I didn't make it home last night.
I needed to run some tests.

You know what the worst part was?

When you had your affair.

Wasn't the sex.

It was the lies.

Realizing
that the narrative of my life was

totally wrong.

You weren't stuck in surgery.

You weren't out of town.

I don't want
to go through that again.

- I told you nothing's...
- Thursday nights.

You have to be home by midnight.

You don't bring her here.

You don't talk to her about me

and I don't want to meet her
ever in any context.

Are you giving me permission
to sleep with other women?

It's what you want, no?

I want you.

You want more than me.

You want that thrill.

But I love you.

And I really believe
that you love me...

And we have a good life together.

And at this point, either I
walk away

or I try to accept
who you really are.

Tomorrow's Thursday.

Yes, it is.

All our tests came back negative.
It's not a clotting disorder.

Which means
we need to come up with a better idea.

So what causes problems
in the stomach, heart, nerves?

You know what it is?

Taub's wife gave the green light
for an open marriage.

He's wearing cologne,
but not the stink of shame.

You got a date.

I am going out with Maya tonight

with Rachel's blessing.

Mazel Tov?

Maybe the problem isn't her blood.
Maybe it's the vessels.

No sign of schistocytes
or hemolysis.

You're actually going to sleep
with a woman then go home to your wife?

Thank God someone's keeping us focused
on what's really important.

Taub was gonna do all of that anyway.
Pulmonary arterial hypertension.

Imaging showed normal diameter
in her pulmonary artery.

Here's a thought...

Taub's wife is now
totally on the market.

Mind hitting me with her digits?

She would love that, but duty calls.

- What's the matter?
- My stomach.

- Same pain as before?
- Yeah, but worse.

Get the portable ultrasound in here.
We need to get a look at her belly.

Help me!

Pain, pain went away,

came back another day.

Question is, what brought it back?

Physical exam was unrevealing.
Ultrasound was clean.

Are you gonna shower
at your girlfriend's or at home?

Patient.
Abdominal pain.

Yeah, he's right.
Let's get this wrapped up before 6:00.

Taub turns back
into a faithful Pumpkin at midnight.

Patient was out with her boy toy
before she came in.

Maybe the pain was triggered
by sexual excitement.

Because lying alone in a hospital bed
contemplating bankruptcy... hot.

My point was that arousal is a function
of the parasympathetic nervous system.

If that's where the problem is, the pain
could be triggered by crying, which...

PNS. Also controls digestion,

which she's been doing without screaming
her head off since she's been here.

What if matters isn't when the pain
started, but when it stopped?

It was during an X-ray.
You think that cured her?

No, but House prepped her
for the X-ray with a barium enema.

That wouldn't
treat anything except...

Go.

You're in pain because your intestine
folded in on itself.

- It's an intussusception.
- It's cutting off blood flow.

We need to fix it before your bowel
gets necrotic and dies.

- After that, will I get better?
- When this happens in adults,

it's usually a sign of cancer.

We'll fix the overlap, and then
search your intestine for tumors.

Foam?

I have a bad feeling about this.

A friend can't spontaneously buy
an overpriced Italian espresso machine

for another friend?

What did you do?

Nothing.
That's the beauty.

I genuinely tried to help Wilson.

I told him to stand up for himself,
which you know is legitimate advice.

- And his relationship blew up.
- Is he okay?

He'll be fine. Point is,
I realized something.

I do nice things,
nice things happen to me.

Karma works.

So you're paying it forward?

If this should somehow lead
to Lucas dying

or oral sex,

so be it.

Namaste.

Think I should wear a tie tonight?

This isn't weird at all.

I mean,

where's Rachel eating tonight?

Home.

What if she's going out too?

She is allowed to, right?

Of course.
It's only fair.

- But I don't think she will.
- Your wife only eats dinner at home?

If she did

go out, that would be tough,

but I think I can handle it.

Don't do it unless you're sure.

I know
I'd rather be jealous than a liar.

Got something here.

Kelly clamp and scalpel.

Biopsy showed
non-specific inflammation,

which suggests IBD,

only it doesn't explain
the cardiac problems.

Or her declining kidney function.

We ran panels during surgery.

Actually...

IBD does make sense,

'cause it could trigger
ankylosing spondylitis,

which would explain
the heart and the kidneys.

Start her on sulfasalazine
and TNF-inhibitors.

I'm not gonna see you
before you head off for Gomorrah.

Just remember,
if you get disoriented...

Breathe through your nose
and look for the horizon.

I can't.

I really thought I could do this.

Logically, it makes perfect sense.

But...

all afternoon,

all I kept thinking about was

the two of you, together.

- And you touching her.
- Nothing's happened.

It's okay.

I'm sorry.

'Cause I really wanted it...

I've been an idiot, I don't need
anything else, I just need you.

You mean that?

I do.

I love you, Rachel.

- I love you too.
- Let's go home.

Is that okay?

There are other doctors.

The treatment's not working.

Her left kidney failed last night.
The other one's right behind it.

It's not ankylosing spondylitis.

Kidney biopsy
showed she had IGA nephropathy,

which could be caused by or associated
with any of these conditions.

We've gone
from too few ideas to too many,

and our patient's
running out of time.

Why the lack of afterglow?

Physio girl not as freaky
as you'd hoped?

I went home with my wife.

After all that, you chickened out.

I can't hurt Rachel like that.

Sickle cell anemia
would have shown on blood tests.

No flattened intestinal villi
rules out celiac.

Seriously?

Our patient's dying,
and we can't move past my sex life?

Seriously, you'd think it'd kill her

if we spend 15 seconds mocking you?

Time's up.

Normal liver enzymes rules out hep B
and cirrhosis.

Alport and anti-GBM antibody
are both untreatable,

so if she has them
we can't help her.

And it can't be
henoch-schonlein purpura.

No inciting
respiratory infection and no rash.

I don't care what it's not.
I want to know what it could be.

Well, everything left on the list.

The list was not created equal.

- Neither was man, by the way.
- Hemochromatosis is a possibility.

Excess iron builds up,
causes problems throughout the body.

Weil's syndrome also affects
multiple organ systems,

and it wouldn't have been treated
by the antibiotic the E.R. gave her.

Sarcoidosis makes sense too.

Good.

Treat for those three.

I think you should call Tom.

Am I gonna die?

I don't know.

If he walked in here right now,

I'd look in his face
and all I would think is "liar".

Don't you think
that's kind of unfair?

You say honesty's all-important,

but you conveniently ignore the truth
that some truths hurt people.

Tom lied to protect you.

He was covering his ass.

I'm not talking about the money.

Tom hasn't slept with anyone else
in over a year.

He told you that?

So my entire marriage is a sham?

Your husband, who only wants you,

lied so that you could be happy.

That seems pretty real to me.

Listen, I'm sorry.

Me too.
I shouldn't have said...

No, you were right.

I was selfish back then.

I'm trying to change.

And I don't know
if it's House or what, but...

you're different too.

I'm trying.

I always thought
that I was keeping the peace,

but I was just resenting you
and giving you a reason to leave.

I wish we had this fight
ten years ago.

Is it okay
if we don't give House the credit?

I recommend it.

"O" for three.

Her kidney function is still declining.
We're gonna need to start dialysis.

Glad the husband's back.

After missing so many little deaths,
he should be here for the big one.

Top six, anyone?

Polyarteritis nodosa?

We'd have seen some improvement
on prednisone.

Guy's wife's dying,
and he stops to buy flowers.

They're from his garden.
Mercury poisoning fits.

Those are lilacs.

My mom used to grow lilacs.

My dad made her get rid of them,
'cause there were too many bees.

We ruled out HSP

'cause there was no inciting
respiratory infection.

But in rare cases,
it can also be triggered by a bee sting.

We also ruled it out
because there's no rash.

Maybe we just didn't see it.

Have you been stung
by a bee recently?

About a month ago.

What's going on?

I think your wife
has Henoch-Schonlein purpura.

Systemic vasculitis can cause

lesions and inflammations
throughout the body.

It's pretty awful,

which explains
why it was named after a German.

Actually two Germans.

Lesions can pop up in the heart,

sometimes in the kidneys,
but always on the skin.

- Means you'd have a rash somewhere.
- I don't.

Not that you know of.

Okay, I'm gonna have
to check your holes.

I'll start with the mouth.
If there's nothing there,

then things might have to get kinky.

Say aah.

I was kinda hoping for kinky.

Is that good or bad?

We'll treat her with high-dose IVIG
and cyclophosphamide.

You should be fine.

I'm gonna be okay.

I love you.

That is adorable.

Other than you still wanting
to have sex with other dudes,

and him bankrupting your family,

I think you kids
are pretty much home free.

And...

You two made up?

You can thank me later.

I'm all-in.

All right.

Fold.

You need a hand?

Thanks.

Sorry about canceling
the other night.

Me too.

You wanna go somewhere?