House (2004–2012): Season 5, Episode 9 - Last Resort - full transcript

Excuse me. I've been waiting here
for over an hour.

All I need is a refill
on my migraine medication.

We'll get to you
as soon as we can.

You can get to me now.
It'll only take you two minutes.

You're not
an emergency.

This isn't
an emergency room.

And it's not gonna go any faster
by pissing me off.

- Got a minute?
- No.

Routine check-up can wait.
What else you got?

I'm consulting on some clinical trials
that involve CNS compounds.

While it's true that "no" sometimes
means "yes," in this context...



One's a new
Huntington's drug.

Phase three trials
are showing real results

in delaying neuronal degeneration.

Probably get you in.

No, thanks.

Are you doing anything about your
disease? Following any kind of program?

No. Nor am I looking
for a consult.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Excuse me.
I'm looking for Dr. Cuddy.

She's either not here,
or she's under the desk.

Either way you're gonna have to
wait outside until I'm finished.

Do you know
when she'll be back?

Yes, which is why I need you
to get out and leave me alone.

Sorry.



Nice try.
Love to help.

Shut up.

- You wanted to see...
- I said shut up.

I'm sick,
and I want to know why.

I want the best doctor in this hospital,
here, now,

or I'm gonna start killing people.

What seems to be
the problem?

Close those blinds.

You, push the sofa
in front of that door.

You, move that table
in front of the other door.

. Now!
- Okay!

- Okay. We'll just move it.
- Okay.

You don't have to point the gun, man.
We're gonna do whatever you want.

No, we're not.

House.

That's a bathroom you're barricading.
Might come in handy,

especially since you've cleverly decided
to take a bunch of sick people hostage.

Do it!

My medical records.
I need you to read them.

You really think that
re-enacting Dog Day Afternoon

is the best way
to get diagnosed?

I'm sure you've been waiting for hours
in an uncomfortable chair,

but you should watch
the movie all the way through.

I've been to 16 doctors
in the last two years,

had three full-body CTs
and two MRIs

seven blood panels,
and one homeopathic consult.

And all that was missing
was the threat of violence.

What's missing
is an answer.

I can't breathe.
I'm tired all the time.

I get skin rashes
and heart palpitations and insomnia.

It's a cool constellation of symptoms.
It could be something minor.

At least,
compared to life in prison,

which is what you seem to prefer
to seeing 16 more specialists.

Shut up and do your job.

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

Keep moving.

Keep moving.

You barely looked
at the file.

No need.

Symptoms? Those are the things
you keep whining about.

Tests?
All negative or you wouldn't be here.

History?
Shy, quiet kid, kept to himself,

collected comic books
and missing children.

Excuse me.
My wife feels sick to her stomach.

Next time pack some heat,
maybe we'll look into it.

I'll be okay.

(PHONE RINGING)

If you ask me,

keeping an open line of communication
is the best way to resolve conflict.

What kind of
breathing problems?

Shortness of breath
and sharp pain when I inhale.

So you figured your wife left you
because you couldn't breathe, right?

Me, I rarely kidnap someone
unless I got a serious health problem.

And since you're not almost dead,
means you're armed

because you're blaming something other
than your health on your health.

I've never been married.

- Got a match?
- Why?

Because I'd rather
not stand here

while you try and negotiate a hostage
trade for an incentive spirometer.

- I'll look in Cuddy's desk.
- Stay out of the desk.

- Cuddy doesn't smoke, but he does.
- No, I don't.

Right, you just brush your teeth
with coffee grounds.

Look, sir, I've never smoked
in my life, okay?

Jerk.

(EXCLAIMS)

You figure that two people
snuck weapons into the clinic today?

I'm sorry.
I just got a lighter.

Slowly.

Hold it out as far as you can.
Try to blow it out.

(BLOWS AIR)

(WHEEZING)

(COUGHS)

Decreased lung volume,
heart palpitations,

fatigue, stomach pain,
intermittent rash...

Could be a hundred things.

You add on that final symptom and
it can only be pulmonary scleroderma.

What final symptom?
Those were all my symptoms.

Last one is the 16 doctors
who missed it.

Simple alkylating agent, case solved.
See you on visitor's day.

(PHONE RINGING)

Crime scene.

House, what's going on in there?
ls everyone all right?

About to be,
assuming he's not lying.

But he seems
like a pretty straight arrow to me.

I'm gonna need some propofol to prove
that it's pulmonary scleroderma,

- and we all get to go home.
- Propofol? You sure...

- Have one of the guards bring it in.
- No, no guards, no cops.

I'll go get it.

And no one's leaving.

She's not a cop.
Dr. Cuddy brings in the drugs. Alone.

She might be armed.
I'd have her deliver it shirtless.

(sesame)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Who is it?

Oh, God.
House, maybe we should wait for the...

- Guys with even bigger guns?
- Who know how to talk to armed...

JASON: Say goodbye
or I shoot her.

Pull up your sleeve.

Give it
to someone else first.

You're the only one
who needs it.

Give it to someone else.

If it goes in okay,
you can give a second dose to me.

I don't care who,
but just pick someone.

Again, had your brilliant plan
included a roomful of hostages

who don't have fetuses,
bacterial and fungal infections,

leaving their immune systems too weak
to deal with the metabolic strain,

or who are already on painkillers
that have fatal interactions...

He's not on painkillers.
I heard him tell her in the clinic.

Come on, man.
Don't take it out on us.

You got a problem with doctors,
take it out on the doctors.

Give it to her.

She's sick.
And you are a very large creep.

Take off your shirt.

(GRUNTS)

Satisfied?

Fine.

Roll up your sleeve.

You think I'm an idiot?
That's what you think?

Thought I had a little more time
with a guy that size.

(GASPING)

You're not gonna
do anything.

You still need me.

(EXCLAIMING)

Come on.

What are you doing?
He didn't do anything.

You're right.
I need you.

I also need you to know
you can't screw with me.

(SCREAMS)

(PHONE RINGING)

It's for you.

(PHONE RINGING)

(PHONE RINGING)

Lieutenant Bowman,
Princeton SWAT.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy,
Dean of Medicine.

We just heard a gunshot,
but I haven't been able to make contact.

We'll handle that once we secure
our perimeter and set up our positions.

By perimeters I assume you mean snipers.
We have to put an end to this.

Got a husband in there,
or a loved one?

No.

Don't worry.
We'll decide when to start shooting.

House is gonna
get someone killed.

Guy's ready to kill
for a diagnosis.

I can't think of a better doctor
to be trapped in there with him.

How about somebody who's not gonna
keep pushing the wackjob's buttons

until he cracks?

(PAGER BEEPING)

It's House.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

- Joe's Bar and Grill.
- It's Foreman.

And every fellow you've had
in the last five years.

What causes
low lung volume,

heart palpitations, fatigue,
stomach pain, insomnia and a rash?

This is pathetic.

If I strap a bomb to my chest,
do I get seven doctors attending to me?

Dr. Robert Chase.

On the off-chance
you have some brilliant escape plan

and are the vengeful type.

You think he's the only guy
in New Jersey

with an unsolved illness and a pistol?

I'm not playing this game.

Seriously?
You're walking out?

CAMERON: No, he's just kidding.
He's right here.

Throw me that marker,
will you?

Chest pain, the lung problems,
fatigue, rash,

sounds like chronic lung infection.

THIRTEEN:
Heart palpitations and fatigue,

could be a cancer
that's spread from the lungs.

Next.

If his diaphragm's not working,
maybe his nerves are freezing up.

I think he's going
into shock.

First rule of triage,
guys with guns go first. Next.

Shortest distance between stomach pain
and insomnia is bad circulation.

Plus trouble breathing,
could be a heart defect.

You needed to write
four things down to remember?

It's not my wall.

You're gonna get
some special deliveries.

Foreman, we're gonna draw blood.
Run a test for infection and cancer.

Cameron,
comb through his medical records,

see if any of his past 900 medications
could have screwed up his heart.

Taub and Kutner, go to his apartment,
check for neurotoxins.

873 Marshall,
South Brunswick.

Back window's unlocked.

Giving out your address?

Clearly not going
back there.

Means you do have
an end game.

(PHONE RINGING)

I'm Lieutenant Bowman.
How's everyone doing in there?

Got one lower limb flesh wound,
another guy unconscious.

Unfortunately,
not the guy we hoped.

We're gonna need someone
to deliver his blood.

It's gonna be hard
to play doctor...

Shut up.

Open that blind,
just a few inches.

- Why me?
- Just open it. Open it.

Why me? Anyone can do it.
Why pick me?

(RETCHING)

Get back!
Get back!

I will kill her unless
you back the hell out of there now!

Interesting.

Anybody else
hear those guys outside?

Anybody?

He's got hyperacusis.

What does that mean?

It means
we have a favorite.

It's nerve-related.

Amped-up hearing
could be linked to nerve palsy.

Puff out your cheeks.
Come on.

Now, a big
mug-shot smile.

THIRTEEN:
Left-side facial weakness.

Seventh-nerve palsy.

Plus intermittent rashes, plus
migraines, it's postherpetic neuralgia.

Herpetic?
You think I have herpes?

I'm not judging here.

This thing is just as likely
to be caused by chicken pox.

I need proof now.

There is a test.
It's dangerous and painful

while the treatment
is safe and painless.

But you make a good point.
You need proof now.

I'll order up the test.

If you have neuralgia,
you won't feel it going in.

It only hurts
if your diagnosis is wrong.

Win-win.

(PHONE RINGING)

Jason, don't hang up
the phone again.

You're gonna send in...

Capsaicin,
200 micrograms.

And two syringes
this time.

And we'll give you
the blood and his records.

No more meds, Jason, and no deliveries
without something in return.

You gotta give
us a hostage.

You can have two.

Great.

Then I'll send an officer
right in with the transfer.

Everything gets brought in
by Dr. Cuddy.

Jason, I'm not gonna
let her do that.

First, don't use
his name so much.

It doesn't sound reassuring,
just sounds creepy.

And second, come on,
he's not gonna shoot the one person

he trusts to bring
in his medication.

He's gonna shoot the hostages
if she doesn't bring it in.

I'll get back to you.

The guy's demanding
that you do all the transfers.

- Okay.
- "okay"?

What am I
supposed to say?

You're supposed to say no,
it's not your job.

If you got a conflict here,
if you have stakes in this

that you're not telling me about,
then I can't trust you.

Got it. I'm okay.

Can you tell him
I'm coming in now?

Who's taking
the first dose?

Anybody here got
a longstanding case of neuralgia

that's killed their nerves
so this won't hurt at all?

How bad does it hurt?

You're looking
to be the hero?

I've been beaten up a lot,
and I can handle pain.

How old are you?

Guy's got a gun. I think that covers
the parental consent issue.

And that stuff can also
cause nerve and muscle damage.

Uh...

No way am I taking that crap.
Come on.

You have to.
It's the rules.

THIRTEEN:
I'll do it.

This is a level
of risk-taking

beyond anonymous
girl-on-girl action.

They're patients,
I'm a doctor.

With a degenerative,
drug-unfriendly illness.

Everything's not
some fascinating character flaw.

This is
a genetic flaw.

This is your Huntington's speaking. This
is you waving a white flag at the world.

Yes, I have
a shortened lifespan.

Another reason why I'm objectively
the right choice.

(GROANING)

Wow, I would have laid money
you had herpes.

Your turn.
So, why are we here?

We've ruled out immediate
risk of death, lost love.

That just leaves work.

You're defined
by your work.

But you kept seeing doctors,
kept missing time,

couldn't focus.

And you made a huge mistake,
got fired.

I just want an answer.

I know.
I'm asking why.

(GROANING)

Guy knew
he wasn't coming back.

Everything's
laid out for us.

I'll check for toxins
in the kitchen.

He must have $6,000, $7,000
in unpaid medical bills.

I've got debt, too.
You don't see me acting like a lunatic.

There's no excuse
for what he's doing,

but if you've got millions of people
thousands of dollars in debt

because they're sick,
at least one of them

is going to do something inexcusable.

Especially if it works.

White blood cell count's normal.
It's not infection.

So either his heart is on the fritz,
or he's got cancer.

I found a picture of his mom. She's got
a droopy eye, fat face, thick neck.

Classic signs of
an upper-lobe tumor.

HOUSE: Or she's just ugly.

They're also classic signs
of an adrenal problem.

THIRTEEN: It's his heart.

- You can't be sure which...
- His neck, distended jugular.

(GASPS)

What are you doing?

I'm going to try to strangle you faster
than you can pull a trigger.

He needs to check
your pulse.

It's racing, 160.

We need to get paddles.

Or maybe we could
just do nothing.

If I get any weaker
and they don't fix it, I'll shoot you.

Don't! He didn't mean to...

Shut up, all of you.

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

Carotid massage,
it'll slow your heart.

- It's 200.
- Get the paddles.

The whole point of those things
is they make your muscles contract.

They don't discriminate
against trigger fingers.

Nobody gets my gun-

- Send in paddles!
- Don't!

Get the damn paddles,
or I'll shoot you.

Threatening to shoot the guy who's
diagnosing you makes a lot of sense.

Actually doing it,
not so much.

Give him your gun
so he can save you.

- Just let him die.
- Bill, stop.

We can cardiovert chemically.

If we don't know what kind
of heart rhythm it is...

If we don't try something,
he's gonna kill someone.

I'm gonna get the drugs.
No one goes anywhere.

If she doesn't come back, you've got
plenty of other people you can shoot.

You, come here.

All right.

Thirty seconds.

She's gonna go.

She's gonna come back.

She should go.

- He'll kill him.
- But not her.

Is that your version
of morality?

If you don't think your life
is worth more than someone else's,

sign your donor card
and kill yourself.

Shoot me.

- You really want...
- Yes.

No! No!

She just needs time. She just needs
more time to find you the right drug.

- She just needs time to get your...
- It's me.

She takes it first.

Adenosine slows the heart, which is
fine, if it's beating fast like yours,

not fine,
if it's normal like hers.

You following
the math on this?

She takes
everything I take.

I don't want anything
that cross-reacts.

Martyr's heart is beating dangerously
slow. Are we good to go?

Your heart's
back to normal.

No tachycardia,
no sign of a heart defect at all.

But you're sweating.

I nearly had
a heart attack,

you're surprised
I'm sweating?

One side of your face,
but not the other.

What does that mean?

A tumor is pressing
on your sympathetic nerves.

You have lung cancer.

Pulse is down
below 50.

So is her IQ.
Help her up, get her heart going faster.

I need proof it's cancer.

Of course you do.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

It's gotta be
a Pancoast tumor.

Patient's got dyspnea,
seventh-nerve palsy,

he's sweating on one side
of his face.

Everything okay in there?

Take your time.
It's not like I've got a gun to my head.

Lung cancer usually shows up lower
than the seventh nerve.

Did you check
his throat?

- Spit on the floor.
- What?

If I do it, I can't tell Cuddy
that it was medically necessary.

I'm gonna ask you
to piss on her chair next.

(SPITTING)

(COUGHS)

Dry mouth,
his parotid glands aren't working.

If there's swelling, it's
a Pancoast tumor that's metastasized.

Feel that.
Right there.

If it's cancer,
there must be a test.

You just did it.

What about an X-ray
or something.

Good idea.

Oh, damn, I left my CT machine
in my other pants.

How many hostages do you think
it'll cost me for a trip to radiology?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

So, what made you snap?

- HMOs?
- Shut up.

Nah, you saw 16 doctors,
how bad could they have been?

Shut up.

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

Humiliation?

Doctors treating you
like a piece of meat?

Too many fingers
and tubes up your holes?

You hate doctors,
you want to take back control.

If so, I apologize for the fact
that you are a piece of meat.

I just want an answer.

That's all.

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

Everyone stays in here
with me.

You need anything from in there,
get it now.

Move around.

Anyone moves, I fire.

(BEEPING)

(SCANNER POWERING UP)

That's not all.

Curiosity is not enough.
There's got to be a deeper reason.

You never did anything
just because you had to know?

Never shot anyone.

You're not me.

This is my body,
this is my life,

and there's a truth
out there.

I'd rather rot in jail
knowing than...

I can't handle
not knowing.

Yeah.

Hold that.

You want your answer,
you gotta give me the gun.

What's this?

Starburst artifact, the metal
from the gun is ruining the image.

Show him.

Starburst.

Now, unless you think
we pre-arranged that

just in case we were ever held hostage
by a guy who needs a CT,

we're not lying.

So, you have two choices,

you can give me the gun
and get your answer,

or you can shoot me.

I'm not gonna give you
the gun.

Why did he release you?

House got him to give up his gun.
We just ran.

(PHONE RINGING)

- Why are you still here?
- Curious.

It's safe now, right?

(PHONE RINGING)

They're gonna be through that door
any moment, just show me the tumor.

There isn't one.

I don't know
what you have.

(PHONE RINGING)

So,

it's over.

Thanks for trying.

(PHONE RINGING)

You had four theories,
you ruled out four theories.

Maybe no one can cure me.

He overpowered me.
Got the gun back.

You're a coward.

You need to know everything
because you're afraid to be wrong.

You're so afraid of being ordinary,
of being just another doctor,

just another human being,
that you'll risk other people's lives.

I'm arrogant,
you're the coward.

You're terrified of death.

You just want to cheat it
by making it come sooner.

It gives you the illusion
of control.

Can I go?

Sorry. We might need you.

(PHONE RINGING)

How do they expect
me to think?

- Is he lying?
- Why would he do that?

Over time, hostages start
to root for the captor.

House isn't
the rooting kind.

No, he's the obsessive,
defiant kind.

Mic the door,
get a frame charge.

Hope your boyfriend
knows what he's doing.

(PHONE RINGING)

Are you insane?

He's quick
for a sick guy.

Dyspnea, anemia,
seventh-nerve palsy, tachycardia.

Long passes,
anything, go.

I don't believe it. Chase was right,
you're gonna kill someone.

I don't want to be
a part of it.

Loa loa filariasis.

You ever been to Cameroon
or on the Ogowe River? Next.

Could be Q fever,
if he's had exposure to goats.

No goats.

Histiocytosis X explains
the lung involvement and...

(EXCLAIMS)

You have a new symptom.

He's turning his head,
favoring his left ear,

which means he's partially deaf
in the right.

Three hours ago
he had superhero hearing.

Cushing's causes fatigue, breathing
problems, fluctuating hearing...

Even increased aggression
and risk-taking.

I'm doing this by choice,
it's not a symptom.

We'll keep that between us
until we talk to your lawyer.

I need dexamethasone and enough time
to provoke a respiratory reaction

and confirm
Cushing's syndrome.

BOWMAN: You need more time?
House, we're not negotiating with you.

Actually,
we're through negotiating.

I've still got
three hostages left.

I'll give you one.

BOWMAN: And no more testing drugs
on the sick doctor.

Fine.

Send in the drugs.

Son, come here,
come here.

House, you can't...

If you have Cushing's,
this will slow your breathing.

Give it to her first.

Those were
not the terms.

I lied.

These drugs
could be fake.

Why would I do that?
I gave you back the gun.

You wouldn't,
they would.

She has Huntington's.

If these drugs are real,
it could screw up her liver...

Chances are slim. Chances of him
shooting one of us, on the other hand...

Don't...

How long do you have to live?

Eight, ten years.

Killing her is your chance
to get personal?

Huntington's
doesn't have a cure?

No.

So, if we get
out of here...

If she were
clinging to hope,

she wouldn't be standing in line waiting
for you to order up more drugs.

Take a deep breath.

(SHALLOW BREATHING)

Not knowing what was wrong with me
made me miserable.

Maybe that's insane,
and doing this, yeah, insane.

But I had something
to gain.

You can't take risks
with no upside at all.

I can't decide
which is riskier,

taking crazy risks, or taking advice
on crazy risks from a crazed risk-taker.

Heart's racing.
No fever.

And your breathing's unchanged.

- Does that mean she...
- Means I was wrong.

Her kidneys are shutting down
because of the meds you made her take.

(SCREAMING)

We have to get her
out of here.

The dexamethasone is making
Thirteen's kidneys fail,

but not the patient's, why?

This guy's been
on 50 different medications,

maybe his kidneys should be failing,
but something's protecting them.

I need to slap you
for diagnostic purposes.

Seriously. If I was jerking you around,
I'd say I need to kick you in the groin.

That twitch is Chvostek's sign.
Don't ask me how Chvostek discovered it.

He has calcium deficiency.

Drugs that block calcium
tend to shield against kidney damage.

He's been on protein pump inhibitors
for years, for his stomach pain.

Those drugs have been
protecting his kidneys for years.

He has something that has
a long incubation period,

something that should've wrecked
his kidneys,

something that explains
breathing problems, heart problems,

jumpy nerves
and weak blood.

Leishmaniasis.

Would make perfect sense
if our patient was an Arabian Bedouin.

Melioidosis.

Bacteria gets into the lungs,
spreads to the heart.

It explains everything.

Except that if you'd read
the history,

you'd know that our patient
has never been to a tropical climate.

Is he absolutely sure of that? Mexico,
Costa Rica... You've never been...

I've never been anywhere
south of Florida.

You idiot.

Florida counts?

Not to the Supreme Court,
but it's warm enough for germs.

You keep blaming doctors.

You can't even give
a halfway-decent history.

(PHONE RINGING)

Negotiation's over.

It will be as soon as you get us
three grams of ceftazidime.

He comes out,
he gets all the medicine he wants.

You can have Dr. House.

Why are you
getting rid of me?

I need to trade you
for the answer.

- You're gonna give her the meds.
- No.

Come on.
Give them to me instead.

She's taken everything
I've taken.

The combination of meds
could knock me out.

Her kidneys are failing.

You give her those drugs, she'll be dead
by the time they get the cuffs on you.

I need my answer.

Your obsession
is gonna kill her!

Your obsession
gave me back the gun.

It is pointless
to give her those drugs,

even if they are screwing with you.
This is your last diagnosis!

- Only if you're right.
- House, get out of here.

Shut up,
I'm not leaving.

Who's the martyr now?

Either the drugs kill me or he kills me.

Doesn't seem to make
a lot of difference.

You really don't feel bad
about killing me?

Not if you don't feel bad
about killing yourself.

- I don't want to die.
- Yeah, you do.

You just don't have the nerve
to actually do it.

You just want it out of your control.
Well, it is. Because I've got a gun.

Don't do this.

Either I do this
with you alive or...

Please.
Sometimes you just have to trust people.

(SHUDDERING)

I don't want to die.

I don't want to die.

(MEN CHATTERING)

Why are you still alive?

He didn't make me take it.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

A week of temporary dialysis,
your kidneys will be okay.

(SIGHS)

I'm sorry I backed out
of the differential.

About that Huntington's drug trial.

Test confirmed melioidosis.

Easy to miss on the stain.

Scans and X-rays
vary widely.

Is that all
you care about?

A moron storms the clinic, bullies
his way into life without parole,

you enabling him
at every step.

If he hadn't done what he did,
he'd be dead.

Good thing you enabled
my every medical move.

You think I handled this differently
because you were in here?

I don't know.
Let's try it again without me.

This is why you
and I can't be a thing.

If you're suggesting
that you screwed up

because of a non-relationship
with me,

I don't know
how I can help you.

Because the only change you can make
from a non-relationship is...

You want a relationship?

God, no.
I was just trying to follow your logic.

(DRAWER RATTLING)