House (2004–2012): Season 5, Episode 13 - Big Baby - full transcript
House maneuvers against a measured Cameron when she takes over Cuddy's duties, Foreman faces an ethical dilemma, and Cuddy has trouble bonding with the baby.
Let's stay focused,
Johnny.
What are you looking at?
Who is she?
That's Miss Cindy,
Zeke's new aide.
What happened
to his old aide?
She got married.
So, first, you want to rub
the glue on the paper
in any shapes you like.
Why do people
get married?
Because they
love each other.
Why aren't you married?
I haven't found the person
I love yet because I spend
all of my time loving you.
Does that mean
we can get married?
Well, love comes in
many types, and there's
lots of it to go around.
My snow is ruined.
It's not ruined.
Oh, it's pretty.
See, look,
I like the green.
Who ever heard
of green snow?
It's magical.
Come here,
we'll get you
cleaned up, okay?
It's okay.
Are you okay?
You gonna pay
for that?
Nice of you to offer.
Now I can actually get
some cream cheese.
29-year-old teacher,
she works with special
needs children. She...
I love what you're wearing.
It brings out the blue
of the case file.
Which means
it's not from the ER.
So why are you here?
Because Dr. Cuddy
is not here.
She's decided to spend
some more time at home
with the baby for a while.
I'm taking over some
of her day-to-day
responsibilities,
like babysitting you.
Interesting. You have your
whole life ahead of you,
so why would Cuddy
want you to die
so young?
She figured I'd spent
three years working for
you, I was inoculated.
Good. Fun.
You get to exercise
your newfound power,
I squirm under your thumb,
resent the student becoming
the teacher, and then
push comes to shove
and we all get
to realize what our
real roles should be.
And then you put out.
That's why
I took the job.
29-year-old special
ed teacher coughs up
blood all over Corky.
No dyspnea,
no weight loss.
Why are you smirking?
Never thought I'd see
the day you were taking
orders from Cameron.
Cameron's in charge?
When did that happen?
You're going to
destroy her, aren't you?
I am going to do my job.
If that involves leaving
her a rotting pulp...
Cameron's going to
mark her territory.
She'll probably
overcompensate
and destroy you.
Bleeding ulcer.
Scope of the stomach
and lungs were clean,
yet she continues to
spit up blood from both
her stomach and lungs.
Means there's probably
something wrong with
the blood itself,
leukemia,
von Willebrands.
Thoracic tumor's
a better fit.
Erodes into her
airway and esophagus,
explains the...
Oh, will you two
stop it already?
Stop what?
Disagreeing.
Okay. Which one
of us shouldn't
have an opinion?
It's not an opinion,
it's a smoke screen.
You toss out a lame idea
instead of agreeing with
Foreman's better idea
because you're worried
that will confirm
that he's boldly
gone where no man
has gone before.
You slept with Foreman?
Sorry. You were busy.
Drop it, House.
We're seeing each other,
end of discussion.
Anything else
isn't relevant.
It's extremely relevant.
Apparently, it colors
everything.
Now I have no
idea if you have
differing opinions
because you have
differing opinions
or because you're just
trying to prove that you
can think for yourselves.
How about you just
judge our ideas
on their own merit?
You don't
want me to do that.
Go run a bleeding time test,
confirm our patient's blood
is screwy,
then you can come
back and pretend to
disagree about why.
Time zero.
I'm impressed,
you didn't
even flinch.
I just went to
my happy place.
We cannot let House
anywhere near this woman.
Where is your
happy place?
My class. With them.
Pass the first mark.
It's a great
thing you do.
Not really.
Most kids, typical children,
you hand them a pair of
scissors and they cut.
Well, Tony, he's got CP,
and when I gave him scissors,
we went on a journey together,
learning to get
his fingers in those holes,
to hold the scissors apart,
to hold the paper.
I mean, when he
finally learned to cut,
we both just wept with joy.
If you ever meet our
boss, just yes or no
answers, okay?
It's not slowing up.
No sign of clotting.
So there is something
wrong with my blood?
Don't worry, we'll run some
lab tests to find out which
clotting factor is off and...
I'm not worried.
Must be one hell
of a happy place.
She's beautiful.
I know. I'm lucky.
Absolutely.
What's she like?
She's eight weeks old.
Are you asking me
about her politics
or her sense of humor?
My cousin had a kid.
They acted like
they knew the thing
from the time it was
two minutes old.
I just thought...
She cries, she eats,
and she poops.
What's wrong?
I don't feel anything.
You're tired.
I'm not sleep deprived.
She sleeps fine.
I'm obviously
not hormonal.
I know I'm supposed
to feel amazement.
I'm supposed to love her.
I just...
I don't feel
anything at all.
Sorry. Maybe
I'm just tired.
Thank you for stopping by.
I'm okay.
Lisa,
if you're...
I'm feeding her,
I'm changing her,
and I'm burping her.
I'm doing everything
I'm supposed to do.
She will be okay.
Please go back to work.
It is the blood, but
the clotting proteins
aren't the problem.
It's her platelets.
Looked like they had
bite marks in them.
So, now you're
agreeing?
Either you folded
because I gave you crap,
or you broke up, or...
We disagree,
you blame our
relationship.
We agree, you blame
our relationship.
Don't you see
a problem there?
Yes. Don't you?
Could be lymphoma.
Not with a normal LDH.
ITP fits. We should
start her on
methotrexate.
Absolutely.
And total body
irradiation.
Because she failed
the bleeding time test?
TBI will promote cancers,
kill her digestive tract.
Don't forget,
stop her from
bleeding into her brain.
It's premature, reckless,
and potentially lethal.
True. Must be somebody's
job to stop me from being
reckless and irresponsible.
Nobody can stop me
from being premature.
I got a patient with ITP.
I want to hit her
with radiation.
I'm gonna have
to call you back.
Methotrexate.
Good point.
On the other hand,
if she bleeds
in her brain,
she's gonna need
a special ed class
of her own.
Fine.
Really?
Yeah. If you think
it's right, do it.
Hmm.
Some people thought you
were going to be brutal,
marking your territory.
Who?
Nobody.
Just because I call
him nobody, doesn't
make me a racist.
I'm not going
to play games.
If you come to me with
a request, and it makes
medical sense, I'll say yes.
I need oral sex.
I'm pretty sure biological
imperative qualifies
as medical sense.
Can I return
my phone call now?
I don't really see
how that's going
to be possible.
Patient won't respond to
methotrexate, bleeding
time hasn't improved.
You have a medical
dilemma for me,
I have one for you.
I need a reason
to not do total
body irradiation.
Other than that
Cameron said
you can't.
She said I can.
Then why don't
we just do it?
Because it's premature,
reckless,
and potentially lethal.
Then why don't we
just don't do it?
Because that would let
Cameron in on the fact
that I never
intended to do it.
This is gonna
be convoluted,
isn't it?
Figured I'd ask for
something really crazy
so she'd shoot me down,
and get the whole, "I can
control House" thing out
of her perky little system.
So the next time I
went back and I asked for
something marginally crazy,
it would seem
marginally reasonable,
and she'd say yes.
So, yeah,
slightly convoluted.
You're screwed.
Unless we irradiate her.
Without the radiation.
We book the nuclear lab,
we fill out the paperwork,
we bring the patient down
there, we do everything
but flip the switch.
Go. Do. Don't flip.
And is there anything
we should be doing,
you know, to actually
help the patient?
Trust me, for the long
term, this will help
all our patients.
In the short term, double
the dose of methotrexate
and add prednisone.
Cameron's
got the keys
to the castle.
This trial I'm running,
the drug really seems
to be working.
She's kind of
liking the power.
Think I'm kind of
liking her liking it.
I'm not sure
what I'm going to
do about Thirteen.
She's sort of dressing
like Cuddy.
She's on the placebo.
You can't possibly
know that.
Accidents happen.
I found out.
You cannot tell her.
You'd be compromising
the trial.
She knows she had
a 50-50 chance of
not being on the drug.
If you feel like you're
lying to her, too bad.
I don't want to tell her.
I want to put her
on the real drug.
And you want
me to tell you
that that's okay?
Her trial results are
already compromised just
from the fact that I know.
As long as she's
wasting her time,
why not give her
something that might
actually help her?
Valid point,
except for the fact
that it's a load of crap.
Don't be an idiot.
So, how long until
we start the procedure?
We already started.
Told you, you wouldn't
feel a thing.
You should lie back.
Just stay really still.
I have to pee.
Can we, like, call
a timeout for a minute?
Let me go to the bathroom?
Yeah. Sure.
We'll just start up
again when you're done.
Thanks.
Sorry. I didn't
realize I had to go.
No problem.
Sarah!
No pulse.
Get the paddles.
Clear!
Got a pulse.
It's not ITP.
She clearly doesn't
need fake radiation.
No structural defects
in her heart.
What about a calcified valve
or a patent foramen ovale?
Transthoracic echo
and bubble study
show nothing.
Her heart's clean.
The patient said
she had to go pee.
Maybe when she got up,
she started to urinate,
increased the vagal tone,
caused arrhythmia and
stopped her heart.
Who has to go pee
in the middle of
a nuclear procedure?
It wasn't really
a nuclear procedure.
She didn't know that.
People don't die
from peeing.
Heavy metal, toxin.
Drugs or alcohol.
Or her own body
is making a toxin.
Cold agglutinins.
Abnormal protein
gets activated by
cold temperatures.
Like the classroom
with the broken heater
and the cold metal table
in the procedure room.
For God's sake,
get a room.
Immerse her in an ice bath.
The cold will activate her
cold agglutinins.
Causing her heart to race.
Confirming our diagnosis.
And giving her
another heart attack.
Lucky for me, there's
a flaxen-haired maiden
who loves to say yes.
How in the world
could you approve
total body irradiation
for a patient
with possible ITP?
It was the right call.
There was no medical
justification for
that kind of...
Not medically, no.
Absolutely no medical
rationalization.
I had to say
yes because House
wanted me to say no.
You think he was bluffing?
I'm the new kid,
he had to test me.
Don't get cute,
don't engage him.
Do not play his games
because you will lose.
You hired me
to do this job,
let me do it.
Oh! I'm sorry, looks like
you guys are in the middle
of a conversation.
I can wait
until Cuddy leaves.
You are gonna
leave soon,
aren't you?
I mean,
the nurses have got
your baby out there.
Not that they're
going to kidnap it
or anything,
but I figured that
the new mother brings
the baby to work
because she wants
to listen to all
the cooing.
If you're gonna wait,
you can wait outside.
Unless the new mother
brings the baby to work
because she wants
to dump the baby,
because she hates the
baby and thinks she
made a big mistake.
You can't trust
that Wilson guy
with anything.
Lisa, are you...
It's not a big deal,
I was having a bad day.
Is Wilson gonna
be in trouble?
For betraying my trust
in a vulnerable time? No.
Why would that
bother me?
He was worried,
he made a bad choice.
It's not a big deal.
I know it seems like crap,
you probably feel like crap,
but it's not.
Legally, you haven't
adopted her yet.
There's no obligations,
no strings. It could
be undone tomorrow.
Emotionally,
you'll feel guilty
for a while,
but the kid,
she won't even
know you existed.
You saying I should
give her back?
Much better than
having a mother who
doesn't give a crap.
Thanks.
I'm just gonna
go drop it off
at the pound.
What did you want?
We got a green light.
Go draw the patient's
blood.
Why?
To see if it clumps
in the cold.
She's making you
confirm your theory
before you treat?
She approved the bath.
She just thought
we ought to do
a test to confirm.
That's more of
a yellow light,
isn't it?
So, she lets you
nuke the patient,
no problem,
but makes you
jump through hoops
to give her a bath?
Why would she do that?
I think she was
playing you.
Go draw the blood.
I didn't realize
the nurses allowed
any visitors in here.
They don't.
We'll just do these
problems, and then
you have to go. Okay?
Okay.
I need to draw
some blood.
I had a crush on my
teacher in fourth
grade. And fifth.
It's more that...
Johnny was a
non-verbal autistic.
Then for Sarah, he talks,
makes eye contact.
He's like a regular kid.
Since she got sick,
he started going
back away from us.
I had to bring him
in for a visit.
Tell you what,
I'll close the blinds
so the nurses don't
ask questions.
You can stay as long
as you want.
We should have the results
in about an hour.
I'll be here.
Good job.
One minute at 39 degrees.
Oh! Damn. Sorry.
You all right?
Don't be paranoid.
I feel great.
Didn't expect the meds
to work this quickly.
Let's not get ahead of
ourselves, you might not
even be on the real drug.
Several patients have shown
improvement. I know my test
results have been better.
I know I have
more energy.
You ever hear the term
"placebo effect"?
I guess I do have
a few reasons
to feel good.
But let's not get
ahead of ourselves,
you're good,
but not "curing
Huntington's" good.
Good.
It's clumped.
House was right,
ice bath's on.
You got a sec?
Don't be an idiot.
I know it's hard,
but you need to stay in
there for three minutes.
It's okay.
You come to
procedures now?
Only the ones that
might involve stopping
the patient's heart.
Cameron tell you
to be here?
Shut up.
Tell me about
Jonathan. How'd you get
him to come out of hiding?
He was extremely
sensitive to touch,
yet he had
a tactile fascination
with newspaper.
I mean, he wouldn't
read it, he would just
touch it, crinkle it.
I thought maybe
that was a way in.
Papier-mâché and...
And it was. He let
me into his world.
Please tell
her that talking
will ruin the test.
All the kids, I try to become
a part of them, and have them
become a part of me.
How much longer until
the heart attack?
I wanted to be
a doctor from the time
I was eight years old,
never wanted to be
a pediatrician though.
Now they're both talking.
Well, I wanted
to be a sociologist.
I was supposed
to observe a class.
I was sent to room 214,
but I went to
room 241 instead.
It was a special ed
class. And I just...
I just felt at home.
Time. Heart rate's normal.
You can get out now.
It's not cold agglutinins.
I'm not surprised.
She obviously
has brain damage.
Seriously.
She screwed up
a room number
six years ago,
and you decide she
has brain damage?
Transposed digits.
Classic marker for
number confusion.
It means she has
a lesion in her left
parahippocampal region.
I misdialed a phone
number this morning.
It must be contagious.
She also forgot to pee
before your fake test.
So she has
a small bladder.
Shows an inability
to predict the future.
Also located in
the left hemisphere
of the brain.
Close to the
parahippocampal region.
Means the damage
is ongoing.
Two subtle clues,
six years apart,
that's hardly
compelling evidence.
I'm compelled.
That's not what this is.
Every time a decent
person comes in,
you set out to prove that
they have brain damage.
I never said her
deranged personality
was a symptom.
You don't need to.
I've been here
five years.
I can hear your thoughts
from my apartment.
Can you hear me now?
Move on to
another organ.
I did.
The screwed-up numbers
and forgetting to pee points
to her being a human being.
The platelet dysfunction
and cardiac arrest points
to a pancreatic tumor.
Or Multiple Sclerosis.
The brain is like
the Internet,
packets of information
constantly flowing from
one area to another.
Plaques in her brain
are like a bad server,
slow down the flow.
If it's in the
parahippocampus, it'll
spread to the brain stem,
which means it'll be
the lungs next.
Brain biopsy will
show you the plaques.
Or we could not
cut into her brain.
It's just her pancreas.
We should do an ERCP.
Or we could settle this
with rock, paper, scissors,
but, unfortunately,
there are people who
adjudicate these disputes.
A pancreatic tumor
is much more
likely to kill her.
Not this week,
not next week,
not next month.
The number confusion
was six years ago.
You don't think
we have time
for an ERCP?
The heart attack
was six hours ago.
Now, maybe, it's planning
to go into hiding for
a couple of years
or maybe it's gonna
hit her lungs.
Stop!
We have to assume
it's the brain.
I'll go fire up
the biopsy drill.
No. We have
to assume it's the brain
until we prove otherwise.
Do an MRI,
T-2 images.
You want me to
do another test?
You should be able
to see the MS plaques.
If they exist,
you can do your
biopsy.
No.
You want to say yes,
you know you should
say yes.
But you also think that
this job is about
standing up to me.
So you're not gonna say yes,
you're not gonna say no.
You're just gonna waste time.
And the patient's brain
or pancreas, or whatever
is wrong with her,
is not gonna wait for you
to impress your boss.
So, pick one,
either him or me.
Do the MRI.
You still here?
The whole point of
giving Cameron the
job was so you could...
I don't want
to go home.
House told me
I should give
her back.
Instead of being offended,
I've been wondering
if he's right.
He's not. He never is,
not when it's anything
personal or human or...
No. He's always cold,
he's always an ass, but
he's very rarely just wrong.
I've read every bonding
and attachment book
there is.
I feel like
I'm in prison at home.
I feel like I'm free here.
Parents make sacrifices.
I don't know
if I want to.
I'm not proud of this.
I feel terrible.
I feel like a failure.
But she deserves
to be loved.
I don't know
what to say.
No plaques
on the left hemisphere.
Or the right.
Even magnified images of
her hippocampal region.
Nothing.
This is surprising.
So, can we
cancel the biopsy?
Go ahead with ERCP.
I need to talk
to you about Remy.
Who?
Thirteen.
What did you call her?
She's on placebo.
And you want to
change that?
I'm the last person
you'd ever come to for
ethical advice, literally,
which means
you've already asked
every other person,
and no one's giving you
the answer you want.
Or I respect your opinion,
and I want to hear what
comes to your mind.
She invited any of
her lesbian friends
into bed with you?
I was mistaken.
Drug gonna cure her?
It looks promising,
reducing symptoms.
No cure then.
So, the pros
are you might delay
the onset of symptoms,
give her an extra year,
maybe three. She's still
dead before you're 45.
The question is,
are those few years
worth risking the rest
of your life in medicine?
No.
There. That wasn't
so hard, was it?
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Unless you love her.
If you love her,
then you do stupid things.
Common bile duct is clear.
No filling defects
in the biliary tree.
Oh, God.
What?
It's her lungs.
House was right.
O2 sats down to 89.
Increasing to 100% O2.
Better get out.
Do we have to tell him?
The surgeons
were able to drain
the pleural effusions.
The patient's breathing
on her own, but she's
still pretty weak.
Lung failure proves
that one of us
was right.
Who said "brain"?
Yes, you predicted that
her lungs would fail, but
the MRI was negative for MS.
I was right
about the where,
but not the what.
A picornavirus could cause
localized demyelination
that the MRI
wouldn't pick up.
If we run a nerve
conduction study on
the surface of her brain,
we'll see the dead spots.
You're talking about
cutting into her skull?
Actually, I'm talking about
cutting off her skull,
exposing her brain.
A pancreatic
tumor could still fit.
It explains the heart,
the blood and her lungs.
ERCP was negative.
And she agrees with
me because she agrees
with me. Right, sweetie?
All we need is
a more sensitive test.
Endoscopic ultrasound.
Just accept that
you've been proven
wrong.
You were also proven
wrong. Why don't I
get a second test?
Because if I'm right
about the brain,
then we don't have time
to indulge your wrongness.
Let me know when Cameron
says yes to cutting off
our patient's skull.
I'll be doing
the endoscopic ultrasound.
Good news, I don't need
your approval for some
crazy, unproven treatment.
I just need to do a test.
You want to remove
your patient's skull.
Remind me to revoke
Kutner's telephone
privileges.
I didn't realize that
was an AMA-approved
treatment for MS.
Not searching for MS,
but what set it off.
Equine encephalitis.
Turned a cool breeze of
MS into a Cat 5 storm.
I didn't realize your
patient was a horse.
There's been human cases.
Not when it's 30 degrees
outside. Transmission
is by mosquito.
So, she got bitten
six months ago.
Or it's some
other infection.
Whatever it is,
it's running rampant
in the left side of her
brain. When I get in there
I'll get you the specifics.
You're asking me to
let you cut off the
top of someone's head.
I need more than
"I'll know it
when I see it."
So, you want proof
before you let me go
looking for the proof?
This is the test.
You have to give
me something.
Cuddy's gonna love you.
The patient, on the other
hand, is gonna hate you
until the day
she dies next week.
Actually, this idiot
will probably forgive you.
You gonna help
or what?
I want kids.
Um...
I think these kids
are already spoken for.
Not now. But since
we're dating I just
thought you should know.
I thought, because
of your illness...
So did I.
Even when I didn't
know if I had it or not,
I just assumed
I couldn't take
the chance. But now,
even though I know
I have it, it feels
like an option.
You really don't have to
keep buying me things.
Just open it.
This is nice.
The picture is
actually your gift.
That's your baby.
I took her picture to one
of those places that does
that age enhancement thing.
And according to the
kid who works there,
this is a pretty
good approximation
of what your daughter
will look like
18 years from now.
That's sort of cool.
Right now,
she's just this
weird little creature
that sleeps and
poops and cries.
But that is who
she's going to be.
You will be teaching her
how to ride a bike,
giving her advice
about friends and school
and having her heart broken,
she'll ignore most of it,
but some of it will stick.
You're gonna
be there for her
through all of that.
You just have to get
through this part.
That's all.
It's very sweet.
I'll pay you back
for the photo.
Don't worry about it.
That's just the picture
that came with the frame.
You can chuck it.
A kid with a raging
viral syndrome
and three dead
mosquitoes.
I'm off to storm
the Bastille.
These aren't mosquitoes.
Fruit flies.
Close enough.
Acute viral
nasopharyngitis?
One of her students
has the common cold?
Team's not what
it used to be.
On the other hand,
Kutner ran his endoscopic
ultrasound, didn't find peep.
So, disproving
it's her pancreas
proves it's her brain?
Yes!
You used to do this job.
Remember? It's what used
to pass for evidence.
Now I do this job.
You brought me three
dead bugs and a runny nose!
I can't find you the proof
you want because it's
trapped inside her head.
The only way I can get
at it is to cut it open
and rip it out,
which, apparently,
is the one test
you won't let me run.
So, either I do this
or I do nothing.
What do you want me
to do? Say yes just
because you're House?
I'd certainly
like that, yeah.
Yes.
Cameron actually
said yes?
No, I'm just obsessive
about clean cuticles.
Sawing off the
top of her skull
and placing electrodes
on her brain is insane.
Right, we should be
re-testing her pancreas
for the umpteenth time.
You're skipping steps
because it's Cameron.
You haven't figured her
out, you want to see
how far you can push.
I'm skipping steps
because our patient
is skipping steps
on the way to being dead.
If you got
a better idea...
We should remove
her spleen.
Splenic lymphoma explains
the damaged platelets,
the heart, the lungs.
If this doesn't work,
spleen is all yours.
Unless I kill her,
of course.
Not only will this
allow us to clock your
brain's processing speed,
you'll also get free cable
for the first three months.
What's this?
A blue car. Is that
part of the test?
No, my lease is
up next month.
You like it?
I'm gonna ask you
a series of questions
designed to stimulate
left-brain function,
logic, reasoning,
problem solving.
Or as my mentor Old Ben
liked to call it,
"The dark side."
If we find slow areas,
we know we found damage.
We treat, you go home.
Ready?
I'd nod yes,
but I can't
move my head.
This pen is red.
Its ink is red.
Is all ink red?
No.
Nerve conduction's
12.8 meters per second,
right within range.
Cameron's letting him cut
into our patient's skull
based on nothing but
dead bugs and someone
else's runny nose.
There are two
pints in a quart.
Four quarts in a gallon.
How many pints
in five gallons?
House, step away
from the patient.
Who's that?
That's my old boss.
And by "old,"
I don't mean "former".
Insulting me is not
gonna make me go away.
You're not here, obviously,
I'm not trying to make
you go away.
Hint, the answer
is a number.
Um...
40?
12.4 meters per second.
Conduction's still normal.
Dr. Cameron? You're
actually assisting
him with this?
Yes, because I'm
actually familiar
with this case.
Well, I'm familiar
enough to know
that cutting into
this woman's brain
is not necessary.
Is she serious?
She's certainly
not funny.
Put the phone down,
pick up the baby.
Make us all happy.
Okay, settle down, baby.
It's okay. We'll be done
in a minute.
House, I can call
security. I can...
BP's dropping.
Get it back up.
I got a whole
stack of these.
Give her 10 cc dopamine.
Already am,
thanks. Your baby needs
you a lot more than we do.
You aren't hungry,
you aren't wet,
I don't know what it is.
That is so annoying.
Can you make it stop?
Baby's crying is annoying you?
What's her nerve conduction?
14.3. It's actually
speeding up.
But her BP's 80 over palp.
We're gonna have to stop.
That doesn't make
any sense.
The fact that you're
wrong doesn't make
any sense
or the fact that
I believed that
you were right?
BP's still dropping.
She's gonna stroke.
I'm giving her 10 more cc,
and I'm putting
an end to this.
Okay, Rachel, quiet down.
I need you to be quiet.
Please,
turn that phone off.
Why does the baby
annoy you, but no
one else does?
I mean, you're right
about her, but...
I don't know what you want.
I will give you anything
that you want.
I don't know
what it is.
Tell me. Please.
Just help me. Please!
Really?
That worked?
She's stable.
We're finished here.
Close her up.
How long
until we can perform
the splenectomy?
Can't dose her with
anesthesia until the last
batch completely clears.
How come the baby
annoyed her?
We should get her
in there as soon
as we can.
Two hours, at least.
Her blood pressure's
in the tank. I hope
she lasts two hours.
What was different?
Our patient loves
all things annoying.
She'd love
this conversation.
She's an earth mother,
takes in the freaks and
rejects of humanity and
tells them they're A-okay.
So, what was different?
Her head was open,
you were asking her
questions, a baby was crying.
She had low
blood pressure.
According to the
laws of physics,
low blood pressure
causes light-headedness
chest pain,
but not annoyance.
Move your feet.
You decided to keep her.
Thank you for telling me.
You can go now.
I talked to her.
We connected.
You talked at her,
you had a chemical
reaction.
Are you trying
to annoy me?
I'm trying to
explain you.
I know it doesn't
make any sense,
but it was real.
It was there.
You want to hold her?
Come here, come say hi.
You think we'll bond?
Is that cute?
A little.
If I threw up on you,
you'd be pissed.
Your puke isn't as cute.
That's 'cause of your hips.
If she would've just
gestated a little longer,
her stomach sphincter
would be fully mature.
But, no, we have
to walk upright,
which means that baby's
head is too big for
mommy's hips.
And by the way, your hips
may be an evolutionary
improvement.
So we've evolved to
find baby puke cute.
'Cause otherwise we'd
kill them all before
they became functional.
Bonding's over.
I got to go see
another baby.
So, I can just
live spleen-free?
Plenty of people
live perfectly
normal lives without...
Spleen's fine.
It's not her brain.
Of course
it's her brain.
You've looked at her brain,
you took off her skull,
you found nothing.
Didn't look in the
right part. Didn't
look in the heart part.
In the womb, blood
has to bypass the lungs
since they don't work yet.
When we're born,
we take our first
big breath, lungs expand,
and the ductus closes.
Yours didn't.
She has a Patent
ductus arteriosus.
When you get stressed,
your blood pressure goes up
forces open the ductus,
blood takes a little detour,
makes it leak from your nose,
your stomach, your lungs,
and more significantly,
keeps it flowing to the
right side of your brain
and away from your left.
Which means that
when you get stressed,
you get un-stressed.
That's why you're so good
with those annoying kids.
And why,
when your blood
pressure dropped,
you were able
to identify Cuddy as
an annoying human being.
Good news is
we can fix the heart.
Bad news for
the annoying kids.
She's incredible.
Thank you.
Great work today.
I should have
trusted your instincts.
I will in the future.
I quit.
I think I just apologized.
If you want, I can get
down on my knees.
It's not because
of you.
I approved an insane
procedure with no proof,
no evidence, no...
You made the right call.
The problem
was a brain problem.
Without the procedure,
House never notices
the increased left
brain function.
She'd be dead if
you hadn't said yes.
I know.
But
I'll always say yes to
House. I studied under
him. He's in my head.
And if you gave
anyone else this job,
they would always say no.
Because... Well,
because they should.
House is insane.
Which leaves me.
I'm sorry.
Hey, buddy.
It's okay, buddy,
come here.
I missed you so much.
I missed you.
How are you?
Good.
Yeah? You look
so handsome.
Johnny.
What are you looking at?
Who is she?
That's Miss Cindy,
Zeke's new aide.
What happened
to his old aide?
She got married.
So, first, you want to rub
the glue on the paper
in any shapes you like.
Why do people
get married?
Because they
love each other.
Why aren't you married?
I haven't found the person
I love yet because I spend
all of my time loving you.
Does that mean
we can get married?
Well, love comes in
many types, and there's
lots of it to go around.
My snow is ruined.
It's not ruined.
Oh, it's pretty.
See, look,
I like the green.
Who ever heard
of green snow?
It's magical.
Come here,
we'll get you
cleaned up, okay?
It's okay.
Are you okay?
You gonna pay
for that?
Nice of you to offer.
Now I can actually get
some cream cheese.
29-year-old teacher,
she works with special
needs children. She...
I love what you're wearing.
It brings out the blue
of the case file.
Which means
it's not from the ER.
So why are you here?
Because Dr. Cuddy
is not here.
She's decided to spend
some more time at home
with the baby for a while.
I'm taking over some
of her day-to-day
responsibilities,
like babysitting you.
Interesting. You have your
whole life ahead of you,
so why would Cuddy
want you to die
so young?
She figured I'd spent
three years working for
you, I was inoculated.
Good. Fun.
You get to exercise
your newfound power,
I squirm under your thumb,
resent the student becoming
the teacher, and then
push comes to shove
and we all get
to realize what our
real roles should be.
And then you put out.
That's why
I took the job.
29-year-old special
ed teacher coughs up
blood all over Corky.
No dyspnea,
no weight loss.
Why are you smirking?
Never thought I'd see
the day you were taking
orders from Cameron.
Cameron's in charge?
When did that happen?
You're going to
destroy her, aren't you?
I am going to do my job.
If that involves leaving
her a rotting pulp...
Cameron's going to
mark her territory.
She'll probably
overcompensate
and destroy you.
Bleeding ulcer.
Scope of the stomach
and lungs were clean,
yet she continues to
spit up blood from both
her stomach and lungs.
Means there's probably
something wrong with
the blood itself,
leukemia,
von Willebrands.
Thoracic tumor's
a better fit.
Erodes into her
airway and esophagus,
explains the...
Oh, will you two
stop it already?
Stop what?
Disagreeing.
Okay. Which one
of us shouldn't
have an opinion?
It's not an opinion,
it's a smoke screen.
You toss out a lame idea
instead of agreeing with
Foreman's better idea
because you're worried
that will confirm
that he's boldly
gone where no man
has gone before.
You slept with Foreman?
Sorry. You were busy.
Drop it, House.
We're seeing each other,
end of discussion.
Anything else
isn't relevant.
It's extremely relevant.
Apparently, it colors
everything.
Now I have no
idea if you have
differing opinions
because you have
differing opinions
or because you're just
trying to prove that you
can think for yourselves.
How about you just
judge our ideas
on their own merit?
You don't
want me to do that.
Go run a bleeding time test,
confirm our patient's blood
is screwy,
then you can come
back and pretend to
disagree about why.
Time zero.
I'm impressed,
you didn't
even flinch.
I just went to
my happy place.
We cannot let House
anywhere near this woman.
Where is your
happy place?
My class. With them.
Pass the first mark.
It's a great
thing you do.
Not really.
Most kids, typical children,
you hand them a pair of
scissors and they cut.
Well, Tony, he's got CP,
and when I gave him scissors,
we went on a journey together,
learning to get
his fingers in those holes,
to hold the scissors apart,
to hold the paper.
I mean, when he
finally learned to cut,
we both just wept with joy.
If you ever meet our
boss, just yes or no
answers, okay?
It's not slowing up.
No sign of clotting.
So there is something
wrong with my blood?
Don't worry, we'll run some
lab tests to find out which
clotting factor is off and...
I'm not worried.
Must be one hell
of a happy place.
She's beautiful.
I know. I'm lucky.
Absolutely.
What's she like?
She's eight weeks old.
Are you asking me
about her politics
or her sense of humor?
My cousin had a kid.
They acted like
they knew the thing
from the time it was
two minutes old.
I just thought...
She cries, she eats,
and she poops.
What's wrong?
I don't feel anything.
You're tired.
I'm not sleep deprived.
She sleeps fine.
I'm obviously
not hormonal.
I know I'm supposed
to feel amazement.
I'm supposed to love her.
I just...
I don't feel
anything at all.
Sorry. Maybe
I'm just tired.
Thank you for stopping by.
I'm okay.
Lisa,
if you're...
I'm feeding her,
I'm changing her,
and I'm burping her.
I'm doing everything
I'm supposed to do.
She will be okay.
Please go back to work.
It is the blood, but
the clotting proteins
aren't the problem.
It's her platelets.
Looked like they had
bite marks in them.
So, now you're
agreeing?
Either you folded
because I gave you crap,
or you broke up, or...
We disagree,
you blame our
relationship.
We agree, you blame
our relationship.
Don't you see
a problem there?
Yes. Don't you?
Could be lymphoma.
Not with a normal LDH.
ITP fits. We should
start her on
methotrexate.
Absolutely.
And total body
irradiation.
Because she failed
the bleeding time test?
TBI will promote cancers,
kill her digestive tract.
Don't forget,
stop her from
bleeding into her brain.
It's premature, reckless,
and potentially lethal.
True. Must be somebody's
job to stop me from being
reckless and irresponsible.
Nobody can stop me
from being premature.
I got a patient with ITP.
I want to hit her
with radiation.
I'm gonna have
to call you back.
Methotrexate.
Good point.
On the other hand,
if she bleeds
in her brain,
she's gonna need
a special ed class
of her own.
Fine.
Really?
Yeah. If you think
it's right, do it.
Hmm.
Some people thought you
were going to be brutal,
marking your territory.
Who?
Nobody.
Just because I call
him nobody, doesn't
make me a racist.
I'm not going
to play games.
If you come to me with
a request, and it makes
medical sense, I'll say yes.
I need oral sex.
I'm pretty sure biological
imperative qualifies
as medical sense.
Can I return
my phone call now?
I don't really see
how that's going
to be possible.
Patient won't respond to
methotrexate, bleeding
time hasn't improved.
You have a medical
dilemma for me,
I have one for you.
I need a reason
to not do total
body irradiation.
Other than that
Cameron said
you can't.
She said I can.
Then why don't
we just do it?
Because it's premature,
reckless,
and potentially lethal.
Then why don't we
just don't do it?
Because that would let
Cameron in on the fact
that I never
intended to do it.
This is gonna
be convoluted,
isn't it?
Figured I'd ask for
something really crazy
so she'd shoot me down,
and get the whole, "I can
control House" thing out
of her perky little system.
So the next time I
went back and I asked for
something marginally crazy,
it would seem
marginally reasonable,
and she'd say yes.
So, yeah,
slightly convoluted.
You're screwed.
Unless we irradiate her.
Without the radiation.
We book the nuclear lab,
we fill out the paperwork,
we bring the patient down
there, we do everything
but flip the switch.
Go. Do. Don't flip.
And is there anything
we should be doing,
you know, to actually
help the patient?
Trust me, for the long
term, this will help
all our patients.
In the short term, double
the dose of methotrexate
and add prednisone.
Cameron's
got the keys
to the castle.
This trial I'm running,
the drug really seems
to be working.
She's kind of
liking the power.
Think I'm kind of
liking her liking it.
I'm not sure
what I'm going to
do about Thirteen.
She's sort of dressing
like Cuddy.
She's on the placebo.
You can't possibly
know that.
Accidents happen.
I found out.
You cannot tell her.
You'd be compromising
the trial.
She knows she had
a 50-50 chance of
not being on the drug.
If you feel like you're
lying to her, too bad.
I don't want to tell her.
I want to put her
on the real drug.
And you want
me to tell you
that that's okay?
Her trial results are
already compromised just
from the fact that I know.
As long as she's
wasting her time,
why not give her
something that might
actually help her?
Valid point,
except for the fact
that it's a load of crap.
Don't be an idiot.
So, how long until
we start the procedure?
We already started.
Told you, you wouldn't
feel a thing.
You should lie back.
Just stay really still.
I have to pee.
Can we, like, call
a timeout for a minute?
Let me go to the bathroom?
Yeah. Sure.
We'll just start up
again when you're done.
Thanks.
Sorry. I didn't
realize I had to go.
No problem.
Sarah!
No pulse.
Get the paddles.
Clear!
Got a pulse.
It's not ITP.
She clearly doesn't
need fake radiation.
No structural defects
in her heart.
What about a calcified valve
or a patent foramen ovale?
Transthoracic echo
and bubble study
show nothing.
Her heart's clean.
The patient said
she had to go pee.
Maybe when she got up,
she started to urinate,
increased the vagal tone,
caused arrhythmia and
stopped her heart.
Who has to go pee
in the middle of
a nuclear procedure?
It wasn't really
a nuclear procedure.
She didn't know that.
People don't die
from peeing.
Heavy metal, toxin.
Drugs or alcohol.
Or her own body
is making a toxin.
Cold agglutinins.
Abnormal protein
gets activated by
cold temperatures.
Like the classroom
with the broken heater
and the cold metal table
in the procedure room.
For God's sake,
get a room.
Immerse her in an ice bath.
The cold will activate her
cold agglutinins.
Causing her heart to race.
Confirming our diagnosis.
And giving her
another heart attack.
Lucky for me, there's
a flaxen-haired maiden
who loves to say yes.
How in the world
could you approve
total body irradiation
for a patient
with possible ITP?
It was the right call.
There was no medical
justification for
that kind of...
Not medically, no.
Absolutely no medical
rationalization.
I had to say
yes because House
wanted me to say no.
You think he was bluffing?
I'm the new kid,
he had to test me.
Don't get cute,
don't engage him.
Do not play his games
because you will lose.
You hired me
to do this job,
let me do it.
Oh! I'm sorry, looks like
you guys are in the middle
of a conversation.
I can wait
until Cuddy leaves.
You are gonna
leave soon,
aren't you?
I mean,
the nurses have got
your baby out there.
Not that they're
going to kidnap it
or anything,
but I figured that
the new mother brings
the baby to work
because she wants
to listen to all
the cooing.
If you're gonna wait,
you can wait outside.
Unless the new mother
brings the baby to work
because she wants
to dump the baby,
because she hates the
baby and thinks she
made a big mistake.
You can't trust
that Wilson guy
with anything.
Lisa, are you...
It's not a big deal,
I was having a bad day.
Is Wilson gonna
be in trouble?
For betraying my trust
in a vulnerable time? No.
Why would that
bother me?
He was worried,
he made a bad choice.
It's not a big deal.
I know it seems like crap,
you probably feel like crap,
but it's not.
Legally, you haven't
adopted her yet.
There's no obligations,
no strings. It could
be undone tomorrow.
Emotionally,
you'll feel guilty
for a while,
but the kid,
she won't even
know you existed.
You saying I should
give her back?
Much better than
having a mother who
doesn't give a crap.
Thanks.
I'm just gonna
go drop it off
at the pound.
What did you want?
We got a green light.
Go draw the patient's
blood.
Why?
To see if it clumps
in the cold.
She's making you
confirm your theory
before you treat?
She approved the bath.
She just thought
we ought to do
a test to confirm.
That's more of
a yellow light,
isn't it?
So, she lets you
nuke the patient,
no problem,
but makes you
jump through hoops
to give her a bath?
Why would she do that?
I think she was
playing you.
Go draw the blood.
I didn't realize
the nurses allowed
any visitors in here.
They don't.
We'll just do these
problems, and then
you have to go. Okay?
Okay.
I need to draw
some blood.
I had a crush on my
teacher in fourth
grade. And fifth.
It's more that...
Johnny was a
non-verbal autistic.
Then for Sarah, he talks,
makes eye contact.
He's like a regular kid.
Since she got sick,
he started going
back away from us.
I had to bring him
in for a visit.
Tell you what,
I'll close the blinds
so the nurses don't
ask questions.
You can stay as long
as you want.
We should have the results
in about an hour.
I'll be here.
Good job.
One minute at 39 degrees.
Oh! Damn. Sorry.
You all right?
Don't be paranoid.
I feel great.
Didn't expect the meds
to work this quickly.
Let's not get ahead of
ourselves, you might not
even be on the real drug.
Several patients have shown
improvement. I know my test
results have been better.
I know I have
more energy.
You ever hear the term
"placebo effect"?
I guess I do have
a few reasons
to feel good.
But let's not get
ahead of ourselves,
you're good,
but not "curing
Huntington's" good.
Good.
It's clumped.
House was right,
ice bath's on.
You got a sec?
Don't be an idiot.
I know it's hard,
but you need to stay in
there for three minutes.
It's okay.
You come to
procedures now?
Only the ones that
might involve stopping
the patient's heart.
Cameron tell you
to be here?
Shut up.
Tell me about
Jonathan. How'd you get
him to come out of hiding?
He was extremely
sensitive to touch,
yet he had
a tactile fascination
with newspaper.
I mean, he wouldn't
read it, he would just
touch it, crinkle it.
I thought maybe
that was a way in.
Papier-mâché and...
And it was. He let
me into his world.
Please tell
her that talking
will ruin the test.
All the kids, I try to become
a part of them, and have them
become a part of me.
How much longer until
the heart attack?
I wanted to be
a doctor from the time
I was eight years old,
never wanted to be
a pediatrician though.
Now they're both talking.
Well, I wanted
to be a sociologist.
I was supposed
to observe a class.
I was sent to room 214,
but I went to
room 241 instead.
It was a special ed
class. And I just...
I just felt at home.
Time. Heart rate's normal.
You can get out now.
It's not cold agglutinins.
I'm not surprised.
She obviously
has brain damage.
Seriously.
She screwed up
a room number
six years ago,
and you decide she
has brain damage?
Transposed digits.
Classic marker for
number confusion.
It means she has
a lesion in her left
parahippocampal region.
I misdialed a phone
number this morning.
It must be contagious.
She also forgot to pee
before your fake test.
So she has
a small bladder.
Shows an inability
to predict the future.
Also located in
the left hemisphere
of the brain.
Close to the
parahippocampal region.
Means the damage
is ongoing.
Two subtle clues,
six years apart,
that's hardly
compelling evidence.
I'm compelled.
That's not what this is.
Every time a decent
person comes in,
you set out to prove that
they have brain damage.
I never said her
deranged personality
was a symptom.
You don't need to.
I've been here
five years.
I can hear your thoughts
from my apartment.
Can you hear me now?
Move on to
another organ.
I did.
The screwed-up numbers
and forgetting to pee points
to her being a human being.
The platelet dysfunction
and cardiac arrest points
to a pancreatic tumor.
Or Multiple Sclerosis.
The brain is like
the Internet,
packets of information
constantly flowing from
one area to another.
Plaques in her brain
are like a bad server,
slow down the flow.
If it's in the
parahippocampus, it'll
spread to the brain stem,
which means it'll be
the lungs next.
Brain biopsy will
show you the plaques.
Or we could not
cut into her brain.
It's just her pancreas.
We should do an ERCP.
Or we could settle this
with rock, paper, scissors,
but, unfortunately,
there are people who
adjudicate these disputes.
A pancreatic tumor
is much more
likely to kill her.
Not this week,
not next week,
not next month.
The number confusion
was six years ago.
You don't think
we have time
for an ERCP?
The heart attack
was six hours ago.
Now, maybe, it's planning
to go into hiding for
a couple of years
or maybe it's gonna
hit her lungs.
Stop!
We have to assume
it's the brain.
I'll go fire up
the biopsy drill.
No. We have
to assume it's the brain
until we prove otherwise.
Do an MRI,
T-2 images.
You want me to
do another test?
You should be able
to see the MS plaques.
If they exist,
you can do your
biopsy.
No.
You want to say yes,
you know you should
say yes.
But you also think that
this job is about
standing up to me.
So you're not gonna say yes,
you're not gonna say no.
You're just gonna waste time.
And the patient's brain
or pancreas, or whatever
is wrong with her,
is not gonna wait for you
to impress your boss.
So, pick one,
either him or me.
Do the MRI.
You still here?
The whole point of
giving Cameron the
job was so you could...
I don't want
to go home.
House told me
I should give
her back.
Instead of being offended,
I've been wondering
if he's right.
He's not. He never is,
not when it's anything
personal or human or...
No. He's always cold,
he's always an ass, but
he's very rarely just wrong.
I've read every bonding
and attachment book
there is.
I feel like
I'm in prison at home.
I feel like I'm free here.
Parents make sacrifices.
I don't know
if I want to.
I'm not proud of this.
I feel terrible.
I feel like a failure.
But she deserves
to be loved.
I don't know
what to say.
No plaques
on the left hemisphere.
Or the right.
Even magnified images of
her hippocampal region.
Nothing.
This is surprising.
So, can we
cancel the biopsy?
Go ahead with ERCP.
I need to talk
to you about Remy.
Who?
Thirteen.
What did you call her?
She's on placebo.
And you want to
change that?
I'm the last person
you'd ever come to for
ethical advice, literally,
which means
you've already asked
every other person,
and no one's giving you
the answer you want.
Or I respect your opinion,
and I want to hear what
comes to your mind.
She invited any of
her lesbian friends
into bed with you?
I was mistaken.
Drug gonna cure her?
It looks promising,
reducing symptoms.
No cure then.
So, the pros
are you might delay
the onset of symptoms,
give her an extra year,
maybe three. She's still
dead before you're 45.
The question is,
are those few years
worth risking the rest
of your life in medicine?
No.
There. That wasn't
so hard, was it?
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Unless you love her.
If you love her,
then you do stupid things.
Common bile duct is clear.
No filling defects
in the biliary tree.
Oh, God.
What?
It's her lungs.
House was right.
O2 sats down to 89.
Increasing to 100% O2.
Better get out.
Do we have to tell him?
The surgeons
were able to drain
the pleural effusions.
The patient's breathing
on her own, but she's
still pretty weak.
Lung failure proves
that one of us
was right.
Who said "brain"?
Yes, you predicted that
her lungs would fail, but
the MRI was negative for MS.
I was right
about the where,
but not the what.
A picornavirus could cause
localized demyelination
that the MRI
wouldn't pick up.
If we run a nerve
conduction study on
the surface of her brain,
we'll see the dead spots.
You're talking about
cutting into her skull?
Actually, I'm talking about
cutting off her skull,
exposing her brain.
A pancreatic
tumor could still fit.
It explains the heart,
the blood and her lungs.
ERCP was negative.
And she agrees with
me because she agrees
with me. Right, sweetie?
All we need is
a more sensitive test.
Endoscopic ultrasound.
Just accept that
you've been proven
wrong.
You were also proven
wrong. Why don't I
get a second test?
Because if I'm right
about the brain,
then we don't have time
to indulge your wrongness.
Let me know when Cameron
says yes to cutting off
our patient's skull.
I'll be doing
the endoscopic ultrasound.
Good news, I don't need
your approval for some
crazy, unproven treatment.
I just need to do a test.
You want to remove
your patient's skull.
Remind me to revoke
Kutner's telephone
privileges.
I didn't realize that
was an AMA-approved
treatment for MS.
Not searching for MS,
but what set it off.
Equine encephalitis.
Turned a cool breeze of
MS into a Cat 5 storm.
I didn't realize your
patient was a horse.
There's been human cases.
Not when it's 30 degrees
outside. Transmission
is by mosquito.
So, she got bitten
six months ago.
Or it's some
other infection.
Whatever it is,
it's running rampant
in the left side of her
brain. When I get in there
I'll get you the specifics.
You're asking me to
let you cut off the
top of someone's head.
I need more than
"I'll know it
when I see it."
So, you want proof
before you let me go
looking for the proof?
This is the test.
You have to give
me something.
Cuddy's gonna love you.
The patient, on the other
hand, is gonna hate you
until the day
she dies next week.
Actually, this idiot
will probably forgive you.
You gonna help
or what?
I want kids.
Um...
I think these kids
are already spoken for.
Not now. But since
we're dating I just
thought you should know.
I thought, because
of your illness...
So did I.
Even when I didn't
know if I had it or not,
I just assumed
I couldn't take
the chance. But now,
even though I know
I have it, it feels
like an option.
You really don't have to
keep buying me things.
Just open it.
This is nice.
The picture is
actually your gift.
That's your baby.
I took her picture to one
of those places that does
that age enhancement thing.
And according to the
kid who works there,
this is a pretty
good approximation
of what your daughter
will look like
18 years from now.
That's sort of cool.
Right now,
she's just this
weird little creature
that sleeps and
poops and cries.
But that is who
she's going to be.
You will be teaching her
how to ride a bike,
giving her advice
about friends and school
and having her heart broken,
she'll ignore most of it,
but some of it will stick.
You're gonna
be there for her
through all of that.
You just have to get
through this part.
That's all.
It's very sweet.
I'll pay you back
for the photo.
Don't worry about it.
That's just the picture
that came with the frame.
You can chuck it.
A kid with a raging
viral syndrome
and three dead
mosquitoes.
I'm off to storm
the Bastille.
These aren't mosquitoes.
Fruit flies.
Close enough.
Acute viral
nasopharyngitis?
One of her students
has the common cold?
Team's not what
it used to be.
On the other hand,
Kutner ran his endoscopic
ultrasound, didn't find peep.
So, disproving
it's her pancreas
proves it's her brain?
Yes!
You used to do this job.
Remember? It's what used
to pass for evidence.
Now I do this job.
You brought me three
dead bugs and a runny nose!
I can't find you the proof
you want because it's
trapped inside her head.
The only way I can get
at it is to cut it open
and rip it out,
which, apparently,
is the one test
you won't let me run.
So, either I do this
or I do nothing.
What do you want me
to do? Say yes just
because you're House?
I'd certainly
like that, yeah.
Yes.
Cameron actually
said yes?
No, I'm just obsessive
about clean cuticles.
Sawing off the
top of her skull
and placing electrodes
on her brain is insane.
Right, we should be
re-testing her pancreas
for the umpteenth time.
You're skipping steps
because it's Cameron.
You haven't figured her
out, you want to see
how far you can push.
I'm skipping steps
because our patient
is skipping steps
on the way to being dead.
If you got
a better idea...
We should remove
her spleen.
Splenic lymphoma explains
the damaged platelets,
the heart, the lungs.
If this doesn't work,
spleen is all yours.
Unless I kill her,
of course.
Not only will this
allow us to clock your
brain's processing speed,
you'll also get free cable
for the first three months.
What's this?
A blue car. Is that
part of the test?
No, my lease is
up next month.
You like it?
I'm gonna ask you
a series of questions
designed to stimulate
left-brain function,
logic, reasoning,
problem solving.
Or as my mentor Old Ben
liked to call it,
"The dark side."
If we find slow areas,
we know we found damage.
We treat, you go home.
Ready?
I'd nod yes,
but I can't
move my head.
This pen is red.
Its ink is red.
Is all ink red?
No.
Nerve conduction's
12.8 meters per second,
right within range.
Cameron's letting him cut
into our patient's skull
based on nothing but
dead bugs and someone
else's runny nose.
There are two
pints in a quart.
Four quarts in a gallon.
How many pints
in five gallons?
House, step away
from the patient.
Who's that?
That's my old boss.
And by "old,"
I don't mean "former".
Insulting me is not
gonna make me go away.
You're not here, obviously,
I'm not trying to make
you go away.
Hint, the answer
is a number.
Um...
40?
12.4 meters per second.
Conduction's still normal.
Dr. Cameron? You're
actually assisting
him with this?
Yes, because I'm
actually familiar
with this case.
Well, I'm familiar
enough to know
that cutting into
this woman's brain
is not necessary.
Is she serious?
She's certainly
not funny.
Put the phone down,
pick up the baby.
Make us all happy.
Okay, settle down, baby.
It's okay. We'll be done
in a minute.
House, I can call
security. I can...
BP's dropping.
Get it back up.
I got a whole
stack of these.
Give her 10 cc dopamine.
Already am,
thanks. Your baby needs
you a lot more than we do.
You aren't hungry,
you aren't wet,
I don't know what it is.
That is so annoying.
Can you make it stop?
Baby's crying is annoying you?
What's her nerve conduction?
14.3. It's actually
speeding up.
But her BP's 80 over palp.
We're gonna have to stop.
That doesn't make
any sense.
The fact that you're
wrong doesn't make
any sense
or the fact that
I believed that
you were right?
BP's still dropping.
She's gonna stroke.
I'm giving her 10 more cc,
and I'm putting
an end to this.
Okay, Rachel, quiet down.
I need you to be quiet.
Please,
turn that phone off.
Why does the baby
annoy you, but no
one else does?
I mean, you're right
about her, but...
I don't know what you want.
I will give you anything
that you want.
I don't know
what it is.
Tell me. Please.
Just help me. Please!
Really?
That worked?
She's stable.
We're finished here.
Close her up.
How long
until we can perform
the splenectomy?
Can't dose her with
anesthesia until the last
batch completely clears.
How come the baby
annoyed her?
We should get her
in there as soon
as we can.
Two hours, at least.
Her blood pressure's
in the tank. I hope
she lasts two hours.
What was different?
Our patient loves
all things annoying.
She'd love
this conversation.
She's an earth mother,
takes in the freaks and
rejects of humanity and
tells them they're A-okay.
So, what was different?
Her head was open,
you were asking her
questions, a baby was crying.
She had low
blood pressure.
According to the
laws of physics,
low blood pressure
causes light-headedness
chest pain,
but not annoyance.
Move your feet.
You decided to keep her.
Thank you for telling me.
You can go now.
I talked to her.
We connected.
You talked at her,
you had a chemical
reaction.
Are you trying
to annoy me?
I'm trying to
explain you.
I know it doesn't
make any sense,
but it was real.
It was there.
You want to hold her?
Come here, come say hi.
You think we'll bond?
Is that cute?
A little.
If I threw up on you,
you'd be pissed.
Your puke isn't as cute.
That's 'cause of your hips.
If she would've just
gestated a little longer,
her stomach sphincter
would be fully mature.
But, no, we have
to walk upright,
which means that baby's
head is too big for
mommy's hips.
And by the way, your hips
may be an evolutionary
improvement.
So we've evolved to
find baby puke cute.
'Cause otherwise we'd
kill them all before
they became functional.
Bonding's over.
I got to go see
another baby.
So, I can just
live spleen-free?
Plenty of people
live perfectly
normal lives without...
Spleen's fine.
It's not her brain.
Of course
it's her brain.
You've looked at her brain,
you took off her skull,
you found nothing.
Didn't look in the
right part. Didn't
look in the heart part.
In the womb, blood
has to bypass the lungs
since they don't work yet.
When we're born,
we take our first
big breath, lungs expand,
and the ductus closes.
Yours didn't.
She has a Patent
ductus arteriosus.
When you get stressed,
your blood pressure goes up
forces open the ductus,
blood takes a little detour,
makes it leak from your nose,
your stomach, your lungs,
and more significantly,
keeps it flowing to the
right side of your brain
and away from your left.
Which means that
when you get stressed,
you get un-stressed.
That's why you're so good
with those annoying kids.
And why,
when your blood
pressure dropped,
you were able
to identify Cuddy as
an annoying human being.
Good news is
we can fix the heart.
Bad news for
the annoying kids.
She's incredible.
Thank you.
Great work today.
I should have
trusted your instincts.
I will in the future.
I quit.
I think I just apologized.
If you want, I can get
down on my knees.
It's not because
of you.
I approved an insane
procedure with no proof,
no evidence, no...
You made the right call.
The problem
was a brain problem.
Without the procedure,
House never notices
the increased left
brain function.
She'd be dead if
you hadn't said yes.
I know.
But
I'll always say yes to
House. I studied under
him. He's in my head.
And if you gave
anyone else this job,
they would always say no.
Because... Well,
because they should.
House is insane.
Which leaves me.
I'm sorry.
Hey, buddy.
It's okay, buddy,
come here.
I missed you so much.
I missed you.
How are you?
Good.
Yeah? You look
so handsome.