House (2004–2012): Season 4, Episode 6 - Whatever It Takes - full transcript

(TIRES SCREECH)

ANNOUNCER: And now,
coming to the line,

last year's
Rookie of the Year,Casey Alfonso!

In lane two,nine-time
national champion,Tony Kumer.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Tony's got his light onin lane two,
and now Caseyis approaching the line.

- How do you feel?
- Great.

I feel like
throwing up my guts.

You always feel
like throwing up.

Come on, Dad. Let's get
this digger on the line.

You sure you don't wanna
go to law school?



- I hate lawyers!
- Yeah, so do I.

Go get 'em, baby!

ANNOUNCER: Okay, looks like
we're ready to go!

Let's hear it, folks!

And it's Casey Alfonso,
by less thanhalf a car length!

What a spectacular finish
for the young female.

Casey Alfonso,
with an amazing finish.

What'd you do
at the end there?

Yeah, yeah.

At about 250 feet,
the car got out of shape a bit,

but about halfway down,
I just got into the zone or something.

I pedaled it back into the groove.
It was the coolest ride of my life.

How does it feel
to be nine-time national champion...

(VOICE DISTORTS)



(CLEARS THROAT)

I'm sorry.
Can you repeat that?

(VOICES DISTORTING)

Casey? Casey! Casey!
Out of the way. Out of the way!

Casey! Get me an ambulance.
Ron, get the ambulance! Casey?

THIRTEEN:
Sixty-eight year old male, non-smoker.

Sixty-eight's
a good run.

That'll leave something in the lock box
for the rest of us. Next?

That's your breakfast?

Technically,
it's Wilson's lunch.

Twenty-month old baby,
persistent rash, fever...

Too much crying.

- Female college student with...
- Too much drama.

You don't care about
the crying or the drama,

'cause you won't
see the patient.

And you'd treat Methuselah if his snot
had an interesting color.

Means you've already decided which case
you wanna take next.

Tell me about speed racer.

Female, seizure with visual and auditory
processing deficiency.

I did a consult, and...

What kind of race car?

Dragster.

Continue.

You're gonna take a case
based on the car she drives?

Nothing says,
"Thanks for saving my life"

like a test drive in a car that
accelerates faster than a space shuttle.

You can't save her life,
'cause she's not dying.

Her labs show
signs of dehydration,

means the problem's
just likely heatstroke.

Kind of hard to get
heat struck in four and a half seconds.

Not when you're wearing
a three-layer fireproof suit.

(DOOR OPENS)

Excuse me, Dr. House?

No. Lazy ass
called in sick again.

We can give him the message.

May we talk in private?

So, either it's heatstroke,
in which case we take the afternoon off,

or it's one of the diagnoses
that you guys are gonna have for me

in two minutes.

You're in charge.

I know.

- Cop?
- He's not packing.

Your dad's either a cop
or a security guard.

Or she carries a weapon.

You're with the CIA.

One of our employees
just returned from an assignment sick.

Now, we believe he may be the victim
of an assassination attempt.

Sure.

You wanna close the door?

Door?

Well, I assume you're gonna drop trou at
some point during the dance,

I don't see why
I should share.

This isn't a joke.

If you're willing to help us,
we need to leave now.

If I have to walk somewhere, there
better be at least five girls involved.

And they better be working
their way through college.

Okay, what have you got?

Hereditary brain disorder,
transient ischemia

or paraneoplastic
syndrome.

None of those go away with IV fluids.
It's heatstroke.

Or Cushing's or calcium deficiency.

Who's your friend?

We use the term
life partner.

Get a fresh history, neurological exam
and an MRI of her head.

Fifteen minutes
for the lap dance,

a half-hour to
scrub the guilt off my soul...

See you in 45!

Dr. House,
we need to hurry.

Yeah, we need to hurry.

Little advice.

I mean, obviously the Village People
played out the whole cop thing.

But come on, CIA?

You seriously expect
anyone to believe that?

It helps when you have props.

Keep your eye on my pen.

Very good.

Any nausea or vomiting
before the seizure?

No.

My dad had some, but he's always like
that before a race.

Could have been
food poisoning.

- You two eat breakfast together?
- No.

Any history of sciatica
or spinal injury?

No.

Abnormal deep tendon reflex.

Really? Let me see.

- It's there.
- I didn't say it wasn't there,

I said it was abnormal.

We're gonna give you
an MRI to be sure,

but I'm guessing your symptoms were
caused by just dehydration in the heat.

You're guessing?

Look, I make a living
driving 300 miles an hour,

which makes the ability
to stay conscious kind of important.

I'm sure it's just heatstroke,

but we're gonna do an MRI
to be extra careful.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

You said you left
your cell in your office.

I lied.

I wasn't going to take it.

Just tell you to
turn it off for take-off.

I know.

I just wanted to see if you could tell
that I was lying.

Useful information. Yeah?

Where are you?

I'm on a top-secret
mission for the CIA.

Right.

There was nothing
on your race car driver's CT

and the history
and physical were normal.

Her deep tendon reflexes
seemed a bit weak to me.

Areflexia could
mean Miller Fisher.

Yes, areflexia
could mean Miller Fisher,

but since the reflex was weak, not
absent, it doesn't mean anything.

I'm releasing her.
You can go back to your poker game.

Poker's illegal.

HOUSE: The CIA
would never allowillegal activity.

THIRTEEN: Have you considered
Miller Fisher?

Why? What happened?

She just had another seizure. And now
she's getting a vertical nystagmus.

We think it's Miller Fisher,
an inflammatory process.

In rare cases, it can cause
respiratory failure, but...

Wait, wait.
She could stop breathing?

You said there was nothing wrong.
You said you were sure.

You just had another seizure.
Clearly there's something wrong.

So, why should I trust you
to figure out what it is?

Where's Dr. House?
I'm at this hospital...

FOREMAN: It's gonna be all right.

We just need to start
the plasmapheresis.

CASEY: No.

It's not going
to be all right,

because you obviously
don't have a clue what you're doing.

(MACHINE BEEPING)
I'm not letting you touch me.

Honey!

I wanna see House.
Where is he?

It looks a lot better on 24.

I take that back.

Dr. Samira Terzi.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. House.

We really appreciate
the consult on such short notice.

There's nothing that gives me more
pleasure than helping out a colleague.

This is Dr. Sidney Curtis
from the Mayo Clinic.

He's also agreed to
help with the diagnosis.

Dr. House.

Curtis on Immunology,
Sidney Curtis?

You've read it?

Nope, but it is keeping
my piano level.

So, where is
the poor sick fella?

TAUB: What do we do?

I don't know yet.

COLE: She needs treatment.

AMBER: This is a test, right?

You're reporting
back to him everything we do.

Yeah. And I asked the patient
to be uncooperative.

Personally, I think
she overplayed it.

She's being uncooperative because you
made us all look like idiots.

We're only gonna
look like idiots

if we can't figure out how to get her
to agree to the treatment.

What would
House do right now?

Pop a pill, insult us
and trick the patient.

We can do that last part.

She's never met House
before, has she?

KUTNER: Who's got a cane?

House isn't here.

We're not gonna
act like him.

What do you want?

I'm gonna do what doctors
aren't supposed to do,

admit I made a mistake.

I shouldn't have been
so quick to dismiss your symptoms.

But you need to let us
start the plasmapheresis.

What do you want?

Case? Honey, do you
know where you are?

- She's burning up.
- Start the treatment.

- I can't.
- You've got my permission.

- She's obviously confused.
- Doesn't matter anymore.

Miller Fisher doesn't
cause delirium and fever.

I don't know what this is.

I'm afraid there are gonna be some
limitations on his medical history.

Just let me know what you need and I
should be able to provide it.

FYI, my malpractice insurance
doesn't cover alien autopsies.

That's fine.

X-files are
the next wing over.

Where was the patient
when he first fell ill?

Sorry, that's classified.

But assume there aren't too many places
in the world John hasn't been.

And, yes,
John's a cover name.

And what makes you
think it was an attempt on his life?

Sorry, can't tell
you that, either.

- Well, what can you tell us?
- Yeah.

Did Oswald really have sex
with Marilyn Monroe?

(CURTIS EXCLAIMS)

Good Lord.

Very professional.

Five days ago
he was 185 pounds. Perfect health.

Cool.

Fever and delirium
rule out...

He's not gonna hire you just because
you called him the most,

especially since it's obvious
he doesn't want to be called.

Symptoms rule out Miller Fisher.
MS fits better.

Progression's too fast.
More likely meningitis.

Areflexia doesn't
fit as well with...

Does with amyloidosis.

That's even slower
than MS. It's lupus.

I'm with
the little man on this one.

It's attacking the body
and the brain, classic autoimmune.

Flirt all you want, but I should warn
you, shiksas are for practice.

Lupus this aggressive
wouldn't spare her kidneys.

It's primarily neurological.
Let's start her on...

Then why no plaques
on her MRI?

MRI was inconclusive.
Start her on...

So, now you're sure
that it's MS.

Just like you were sure
it was Miller Fisher.

An hour after you were sure
it was heatstroke.

The symptoms fit.
Start her on interferon.

We're not gonna
score any points with House

if we solve this
just by running your errands.

- I get that you wanna be right.
- You don't?

I'm just trying to save the patient,
not score points with my boss.

Would it hurt the patient
if you let us run some tests?

You've got three hours.

We've run six complete
tox screens,

tested for every heavy metal, poison and
biological agent we can think of.

It says here he ate
a lot of chestnuts.

Hold on a second.

If the squirrel liberation army
is involved, I'm out of here.

Those little rodents are...

Horse chestnuts are poisonous.
If someone switched them...

Horse chestnuts
may look like chestnuts,

but they taste like
a horse's lower than chestnuts,

which makes the theory that he
accidentally ate a couple of hundred

slightly less persuasive.

Seeing as how he was prowling
the back alleys of Tehran...

It wasn't Tehran,
it was...

(EXCLAIMS)

You almost got me.

Unless we know the local
environmental factors,

the poisonous flora...

You know I can't
tell you that.

Well, then why are we here? You might
as well just Google "poison."

All they would tell me is he spent
the last eleven months in Bolivia.

Who you gonna kill
in Bolivia? My old housekeeper?

We don't kill people.

I'm sorry, who are you
gonna marginalize?

If it is my housekeeper,
she has it coming.

Cleaning the windows
means cleaning both sides.

Am I right or am I right?

What does it matter
what he was doing?

- The guy's dying.
- Not anymore.

I know what's
poisoning him, and who.

John.

It's just pancreatitis.

He's not an alcoholic.

And unless his pancreas
is in his fingers...

Spies can't get
fungal infections?

And the burns on his skin?

Spies can't get sunburns?

Bolivia doesn't have sun?

So, either we go with his theory
of the non-drinking drunk,

or he was poisoned
by some group

with the resources
to make it completely untraceable,

some customized isotope.

Let's treat for
radiation poisoning.

The iodine's to protect your thyroid.
Antibiotics are to handle infections.

Should start working
in a couple of hours.

We should celebrate
with a beer or eight.

I don't drink.

Oh, me thinks he doth
protest too much.

He's deathly ill.
Why would he lie about drinking?

Guilt over killing a man would make
anyone hit the sauce.

We don't kill people.

HOUSE: Right.

You just lie
to your friends and family,

establish false identities, trick people
into betraying their country.

He'd never
cover up his drinking. He's too honest.

Hey! Something
I've always wanted to know.

That poison lipstick
that Ginger used to kiss Gilligan,

why didn't that kill her?

Okay, drum roll!

LP is negative
for meningitis.

Sorry, Cole.

Fat pad biopsy is...
Wait for it...

Negative for amyloidosis
and Thirteen goes down!

Could we hurry this up?
My son has...

Can I have a kid, too?
I'm working too hard.

I could hook you up.

If I had two minutes
and some anti-nausea meds,

I'd take you up
on that.

And for the gold...

Protein's 65,
glucose, 70.

It's MS,
start her on interferon.

Now, turn to the last page.

Sad rate's 95,
ANA's weakly positive.

Positive, it's lupus.

Weakly, not lupus.
It's MS.

We obviously don't know what it is.
Treat for both.

No. I gave in
on the tests.

We're not treating her
for two completely separate diseases

because you think
lupus will win you a prize.

- Still think it's lupus?
- Yeah.

Me, too.

In case of emergency,
go to the emergency room.

Could be lupus.

That's what we figured.

Then why are you here?

You're an immunologist.
We wanted to confirm...

Who are you looking for me to help you
sell down the river? House or Cuddy?

Foreman.

- Sorry.
- He's pushing MS.

Thinks that because
he's in charge,

he has to prove
he's the smartest guy in the room.

All I've heard about you, you put
the patient above everything else.

That's why everyone
finds you so annoying.

- All House cares about is results.
- I know.

I'm talking about
how to deal with Foreman.

So am I.

Fever's down to 101.5.

Treatment's working.
Why are we out here?

Trying to figure out
which treatment's working.

It's kind of tacky doing it
in front of the patient.

You put her
on steroids, too?

We had no choice.

The sad rate
pointed to lupus.

And the ANA ruled it out!

Doctors!

Legs hurt?

I can't feel them at all. I don't think
I can move them.

Vitals stabilizing.

Tummy ache's gone as well.

So, the treatment's working.

You wanna ditch Dr. Killjoy
and hop on the company jet?

Little trip down Mexico way,

and I'm not talking about
the country or the plane.

Do you think acting like an idiot and
talking about sex works on girls?

Well, if it didn't, the human race
would have died out long ago.

You're pretty cheery
for someone

who was just proved wrong
about his pancreatitis theory.

I'm appropriately cheery
for someone who's been proved right.

John hasn't vomited
in six hours.

What's to vomit?
I'm eating his lunch.

Withholding nutrients
is the treatment for pancreatitis.

That, and the antibiotics
you put him on.

I did unhook
your iodine, though.

Didn't seem to fit with the whole "I'm
just jerking you guys around" Gestalt.

You're unbelievable.

Let's ask John if he'd rather be sick
honestly or cured dishonestly.

John? John?

Any chance he's just
overwhelmed with gratitude?

Paralysis.

It's a new symptom?

Big white space on the board
where it would fit.

Nice, multicolored markers.

I'm not writing it because we can't know
if it's a real symptom.

When these two went rogue and pumped
her full of steroids, we lost...

Steroids don't
cause paralysis.

FOREMAN: She was also
on interferon.

Giving her both probably
fried her immune system.

Who knows what infection
you could cause...

We consulted
an immunologist, she said we have...

She? You talking
about Dr. Cameron?

- She thought lupus was...
- She tell you to start treating?

Yes! They've ignored you,
they screwed up

and it's fun
watching you spank them.

But, can we get back
to the medicine?

The last thing any of you
give a damn about is the medicine.

Look.

I'm not saying
you're bad doctors or bad people.

But House is.

He created a nasty
little cutthroat world,

planted you in it,
and is watching you play.

And none of it works
for anyone except him.

And whoever wins.

Given its quick progression,
we gotta assume botulism.

I'll go to her place.
Check out her fridge and pantry.

It's not botulism.
It's polio.

Brilliant. We should search her home
for FDR's remains or a time machine.

She could have contracted it from anyone
who's been to Africa, or...

She's been vaccinated.

Vaccines wear off.

There hasn't been
a single American case in over 20 years.

I've seen this disease.
I know what it looks like.

That's why you're finding it,
because you're looking for it.

Polio?

- It's crazy.
- House wouldn't think so.

So, go find House
and tell him your theory.

Take a personal day.
Seriously. Get out of here.

You don't have
the power to fire me.

But I do have the power
to kick your ass off my case.

I'm starting
the botulism treatment.

The rest of you,
look for confirmation.

He should be
brought up on charges.

Okay, relax.

I'll take your book
out from under my piano.

He's dying of radiation sickness.
He's obviously in pain.

All of which could have been avoided
if you hadn't interfered...

(GROANS)

What was that for?

Radiation sickness
kills specific cells at specific times.

His hair should be coming out in clumps
before he's writhing in pain.

Since it's not, I know who's
trying to kill him.

God.

It's blood cancer,
Waldenstrom's.

Radiation can cause infections,
which set off neuropathy...

If you had
any real evidence of foul play,

you'd be
torturing Bolivians

instead of putting me into a state
of anticipatory sexual arousal.

Can we treat for both?

Bad idea. Unless you're
the one who's trying to poison him.

I'll arrange for
plasmapheresis and chemo.

Are you gonna trust him
after what he did?

I don't have to trust him
to agree with him.

You make a good point.

I've been wrong every time and she still
won't listen to you.

So, either she really likes me
or she really hates you.

And I got a ride
in the jet.

Oh, hi.
What are you doing here?

Just came to say hi.

Hi again.

Where's Mrs. Bearman?

Sent her home.

I was scheduling her
for an MRA.

If we gave MRAs
to every patient with a headache...

This wasn't just a headache,
it was the worst in her life.

And lucky for you,
I'm a neurologist.

She went to a wine and cheese tasting.
Both triggers for migraines.

She's never had
a migraine before.

And I never had
a blueberry bagel,

but for the first time
I had one.

Bagels don't kill people.

This is a classic ticking
bomb aneurism.

Wow.
This taught me a lesson.

I guess when I mess
with other people's patients,

I risk looking like
an officious bitch.

We're gonna have to
track down Mrs. Bearman.

Wait. Never mind.

It's funny.

It's not funny,
it's totally immature.

It is funny.

You just can't appreciate it,
because you're the victim.

Yeah. I deserve shame
and ridicule for offering a consult.

Unheard of for a doctor.

You didn't offer
a medical consult.

You offered a
dealing-with-Foreman consult.

For the good of the patient.
It's what House would have done.

Maybe House will hear about it
and tear up with pride.

You think I'm trying
to impress him.

I think that for someone
who's not involved in his team,

you're remarkably
involved in his team.

Let it go.

Let him go.

And that's mature.

One-twenty over 80.
Let 'er rip.

Now we got the medical stuff
out of the way,

why don't we meet
back at your place

for some enhanced
interrogation techniques?

My safe word is, "Help,
please, please, stop."

It's two pleases. Anything
less than that, you keep going.

You actually cure this guy,
I'll show you my private water board.

We need to consult
an oncologist about the chemo.

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you
were still euphemizing.

My valet knows
a little oncology.

I was wondering when you'd grow bored
of avoiding my calls.

Oh, I could never grow
bored of ignoring you.

What's the latest protocol
on Waldenstrom's?

Where are you?

CIA headquarters.

How much fludarabine
do you need...

Either you're sprawled naked on your
floor with an empty bottle of Vicodin

or collapsed naked
in front of your computer

with an empty bottle
of Viagra.

Please tell me which,
because Chase has another pool going.

They flew me in to help
deal with a sick employee.

How much...
WILSON: Hallucinations?

Damn, I shouldn't have
bet on the Viagra.

Okay. Call the Langley switchboard,
ask for extension...

- Thirty-five, seventy-eight.
- Three, five, seven, eight.

He asked an awful lot
of questions for a valet.

You know, I happen to have a position
available on my penis.

Wait a second, I think
I screwed up that joke.

You offering me a job?

I'd settle for that.

As tempting as a position
on your staff is, I like it here.

Pays better, and we've only had
one assassination attempt.

And I'm sure
you're a great boss.

That's why your fellows
left en masse a couple of months ago.

I have satellite images.

(PHONE RINGING)

Inspector Gadget?

My God, you're
actually at the CIA.

You've gotta get down here.

They've got a satellite
aimed directly into Cuddy's vagina.

I told them the chances
of invasion are slim to none, but...

Waldenstrom's.

Recommended dose is 25 milligrams
per meter squared.

They do
a background check on you?

Twenty-five milligrams.

They did a background
check on you,

they did a background check
on your friends.

Relax. I'm sure they already know

that you brought heroin back from
Afghanistan.

WILSON: That's not true.

I've never been
to Afghanistan.

House?

LOU: She's getting worse.

Her fever's risen slightly.

But it's definitely...
What? Botulism?

Right? Because
if you're wrong again,

and you're treating her for something
that she doesn't even have...

The anti-toxin
hasn't had time to work yet.

I know it's hard,
but try to be patient.

Excuse me.

I know you're pissed
I interrupted,

but you're gonna be
even more pissed in a second.

You tested her
without telling me?

Yeah. I know, I'm really,
really sorry, but...

On the other hand,
it's positive.

She has polio.

Now what, boss?

Where's House?

He's blown
off four hours of clinic.

He's consulting
for the CIA.

Seriously, call Langley,

and ask for extension three, five...
It's three, five, three, six?

It's definitely
two threes.

I wrote it down.
I have it somewhere.

He's gonna make up
twice his skipped hours in the clinic.

Okay-duke.

And for protecting him,
you're gonna make up twice that.

Why are you punishing me
worse than him?

Because House never learns.
You might.

(DOOR CLOSES)

How are you feeling?

Like crap.

Yeah. Cancer
can be that way.

My hair is falling out.

Is that the chemo?

No, that's too quick.

So, what does it mean?

It means
you don't have cancer.

Someone actually
did try to kill you.

You're stubborn.
You're arrogant!

There's no need to yell.

You may have cost
that man his life.

He's getting the
radiation treatment.

Twenty-four hours
too late.

I didn't yell at you
when I thought you were wrong.

- I wasn't wrong.
- This isn't productive.

There is no "productive,"
it's too late!

Because of your inexperience,
your poor judgment

and your failure to recognize
a reckless fool.

Cordyceps sinensis.

It's an herbal treatment
derived from a parasitic fungus.

Comes from caterpillars.

Along with dimercaprol
chelation,

it's been shown to mitigate
bone marrow damage

from radiation poisoning

in monkeys.

Sorry. I was stubborn
and arrogant.

Self-recriminations
won't help her.

Nothing's gonna help her,
she's got polio.

There's no cure,
but there are treatments.

No, she's dying.

Yeah, every death's a tragedy.

Funny how you weren't
so depressed

when she was just dying because
me and Amber screwed up.

And I'm also self-centered,
thanks for clarifying.

Don't forget self-pitying.

Vitamin C.
Extremely high doses.

It was experimental treatment protocol
in the '50s...

And they haven't
finished yet?

They lost funding.

That's because there's no logical reason
vitamin C would cure polio.

Well, someone
thought there was.

Someone thought black people
made excellent farm implements.

I'm not talking
about hurting anyone.

I just want to force-feed her
some orange juice.

You wanna throw in
some bacon and eggs as well?

If there's anything
you learned today,

it's gotta be that
you can be wrong.

John, can you hear me?

We're gonna start you
on an experimental treatment.

Tea?

It's a Chinese herb
which has been effective.

I'm dying, aren't I?

Probably.

We're gonna attempt
an experimental protocol.

- A new drug?
- An old one. Vitamin C.

Ultra-high doses
have been shown

to destroy the polio virus
and heal nerve damage.

She could regain use
of her legs?

It's unlikely.

But we're gonna try.

Don't give up.

(SIGHS)

Nausea's not as bad.

Radiation sickness
has a latency period.

You'll get better
before you get worse.

Wanna know what
I really did down there?

Only if it's interesting.

The women there,

during Carnival, they...

They do this dance.

They call it
the devil dance.

Not interesting.

I spent the whole
40 days with this

attache to
the Minister of Defense.

The most buttoned-down woman
you'd ever meet,

except when
she did this dance.

She agreed
to tell me stuff.

(GASPS)

Okay, you got
half a good story there.

Karma.

Best way to rid yourself
of that guilt is to confess your sins.

This pain, it's right.
It's comforting.

It makes me think that somehow
it all makes sense.

What do you mean 40 days?

When they found out

what she'd told me...

Carnival in Bolivia's
only eight days.

You have any idea
what a chestnut looks like?

You idiot!

Who are you calling
an idiot?

Whoever knew that John was stationed
in Brazil, not Bolivia.

Brazil?

Well, then, I guess
I'm talking to you, idiot.

It's the same region.
It's the same parasites, same diseases.

But not the same language.

In Bolivia, chestnuts
are chestnuts.

Brazil, on the other hand,
has castanhas-do-péra

literally,
chestnuts from Péra,

because it would be stupid for people
from Brazil to call them Brazil nuts.

So, he ate Brazil nuts.
Big deal.

No, he ate a lot of Brazil nuts,
which is a big deal,

because they
contain selenium,

which in high doses causes fatigue,
vomiting, skin irritation,

discharge from the fingernail beds
and hair loss.

Any of that
sounding familiar?

Can you treat it?

We already started.

Treatment's chelation, the same as
for radiation sickness.

The only difference is
it works a lot better on nut poisoning.

So, what's the problem?

You're an idiot.

Why is she shivering?

Low serum calcium is a side effect
of the treatment.

I can give her
a calcium supplement.

My arm hurts.

The infusion rate has to remain high
for the treatment to work.

Is it working?

(GASPS)

You feel that?

Yeah, it hurts.

It's working!
This is fantastic.

There's a lot you could learn
at my fellowship.

If you knew the procedures
I could teach you...

Of course, we'd need
a nurse to prep.

I know how to
kill a man with my thumb.

Actually, I was just trying to make
another euphemism for sex.

So was I.

Oh, God. How can you
flirt with this idiot?

He lied to us again and again.
He broke laws, ethical codes...

I was right.

That doesn't mean
everything.

It means a lot.

Dr. Curtis, Dr. House.
I appreciate your help.

(DOOR OPENS)

- Hey-
- Hey-

When you were dying,

you tried to infect me,

because you knew
I'd fight for you

if I thought
I was dying, too.

Are you bringing this up now so I'll
forgive you for messing with my patient?

I'm happy I changed jobs.

But I know I'll never
have that sort of

excitement.

You miss people
trying to kill you?

No.

I miss people doing whatever it takes
to get the job done.

I guess that's why
I'm having trouble giving it up.

I shouldn't have helped them
mess with your patient.

They had to screw with me.
I've gotten everything wrong.

I don't believe it.

You're not gonna
get everything right.

But you're never gonna
get everything wrong.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Morning!

Where have you been
the last two days?

- Overslept.
- We saved speed racer.

She had polio.
We cured it with vitamin C.

Yeah. I cured depression
with tonic water once.

Actually, I think
there was some gin in it, too.

A hundred and fifty grams
over six hours.

It worked.

FOREMAN: No, it didn't.

I told you,
you can't cure polio.

It means either
she's not cured or she never had it.

Since she's walking out of here,
I tested her blood from admittance.

No polio.

Means Brennan
screwed up the lab tests.

Or you screwed up
your lab tests.

You must have.
She got better.

So, it's relapsing
and remitting. Maybe porphyria.

Well, that's a stretch.

If she had porphyria,
you'd have seen purple urine.

You think it's more
likely he cured polio?

Well, they believe it.

Her symptoms
fit perfectly.

Any alternative is
unbelievably convoluted.

Some doctor would have to poison her
with thallium so it looks like polio,

then fake a lab test,
then give her vitamin C

and stop the poison
so she magically gets better.

Actually, it is kind
of doable, right?

So, what do you think?

Shall we test her for thallium before
you contact Stockholm?

You poisoned her?

HOUSE: The really
shocking thing

is that Foreman was right
about the heatstroke.

Vitamin C cures polio.
I've seen it.

Yeah.
In some bush clinic.

You needed polio
in a place with a proper lab.

The only problem is that places
with proper labs don't have polio.

There is no money in finding cures for
diseases that only kill poor people.

This will make
them do research.

What do you care
if I faked a lab test,

if it saves
a few thousand lives?

I did what I had to do.

Isn't that what
you hired us for?

Which is why
I'm not gonna fire you.

You're gonna quit.

Go on, get out of here.

So, you're just gonna
let him go?

Absolutely.

And I'm gonna let him get as far away
as possible before you call the cops.

Guy's a nut job.

Who the hell
did I leave in charge?

Foreman.

There was a reason for that.
Next time, listen to him.

Where have you been?
And don't say the CIA.

Okay-

By the way,
one of my employees...

Either you're gonna have to
get someone from the CIA

to call and confirm
your story,

or you're doing eight clinic hours
and Wilson is doing 16.

I was in the Hamptons.

I was helping some rich hedge fund jerk
treat his son's sniffles.

Fascinating
as that sounds.

For your honesty,
I will forgive your hours.

Thank you.

No!

The only thing less likely
than you helping the CIA

is you helping some rich guy
in Long Island.

You're doing your hours
and Wilson's.

I know how to
kill a man with my thumb.

Who doesn't?

Hi.

Hi.

I'm gonna take
you up on your offer.

Yeah?

Well, I live a couple
of miles from here.

That's not the offer I meant.

I gave notice today.

You said you were happy
at the company.

I lied.

Doubt you'll
hold it against me.

I'll see you
at 9:00 on Monday.