House (2004–2012): Season 1, Episode 14 - Control - full transcript

Where are those projections?
Three, six and nine
are in their folders.

Can I have some more--
Excellent.
Tea's at your seat. Hello.

Oh, hold on.

Ben Federman again,
another pre-call.

We did the pre-call.
Is this the post pre-call call?

The board's gonna want specifics
with the push into the Asian markets.

Ben, there are no specifics
about Asia.

We came up with that
as a Hail Mary at 3:00 in the morning...

to placate the board
about international.

Carly, I'm just giving you
a heads-up about Asia.

There is no Asia.



Let's talk about Asia.

We're in the preliminary stages
of forming a strategic alliance
with Credit Lyonnais.

Within three months,
you won't be able to walk four feet
in Kangham, South Korea...

without seeing
one of our beautiful models...

smiling at you from billboards
and drugstore windows,
inviting you in.

That's incredible news, Carly.
We'd hoped to hear
something about Asia.

Had no idea
plans were so far along.

Well, you know Asia.
Nothing's done until it's done.

Carly, I was wondering,

could you walk us through
what you were thinking
for other Asian territories?

Absolutely. India has over
half a billion women.

In terms of spending power,
it's the single largest potential market
in the world.

Um, we have retained a local firm
to ensure that cultural differences
are respected.

Um, however, I can't
go into the specifics of my plan
with you until tomorrow.



Right now I have a meeting
and I need the room.

We were just getting started.

I know and I do apologize.
It's last minute,

but the meeting is with
three state department officials
to smooth the way for China.

China?
This is just incredible.

- We'll be in touch.
- Thank you.

What is it?
I need a doctor.

I can't move my leg.

32-year-old female, paralysis
and severe pain in her right quad. Go.

- How'd she get to you?
- She's the C.E.O. of Sonyo Cosmetics.

Three assistants and 15 V.P.'s
checked out who should be treating her.

Who da man? I da man.
I always suspected.

Dr. House, I know
the chances are very slim,
but I'm sure you recognize...

that she may have what you had,
a clot in her thigh.

A bit of a long shot.

- What about a disk herniation?
- I don't know, Eric.

If her disk were herniated,
she'd present with pain elsewhere,
wouldn't she?

- Yeah, I suppose.
- You're right.

A clot's also the most deadly,
right, Robert?

True. The clot breaks off,
she could stroke and die.

Dr. House,
I believe that they're right--

- Stop talking.
- What?

You read one of those
negotiating books, didn't you?

Getting To Yes.
Fifty Ways to Win an Argument.
Hitchhiker's Guide to Being a Pal.

In five seconds,
you just manipulated these two
into agreeing with your point of view.

Fellas, this is known
as soft positional bargaining.

It's not gonna work.

Dr. House, are you saying
that she doesn't have a clot,

or are you saying
that if she does have a clot,

she doesn't need blood thinners
and an angiogram?

Chase, put her on blood thinners.
Do an angiogram.

When that comes back negative,
M.R.I. the spine.

If that's clean,
cut her open and biopsy the leg.

Excellent suggestion.
Read less, more TV.

It's rare for an individual
to make a donation...

significant enough
to impact an organization
as large and unwieldy as a hospital.

This donation
does come with one string,

that he be made
chairman of the board.

I think that's a reasonable request.
I think he should have the right to know...

what it is we do
with his $100 million.

Please welcome
our new chairman of the board,
Edward Vogler.

Thank you.

Thank you.

When I was 18,

my dad loaned me $20,000
for a college tuition,

which he would have known was a mistake
had he known I wasn't actually in college.

I took his money and invested
in a friend who had a little business.

And when my dad found out
what I had done with his money,

he and I didn't talk much
after that.

But my friend's business took off,

and I used the profits from that
to buy another company and another.

And I must have been pretty good at it,
had a good eye,

because before I knew it,
people were making offers for my company.

And about a year ago,
I went public,

and overnight
I was worth a billion dollars.

So, I went to see my dad.

I'll admit. I wanted a little payback.
You know, kind of shove
the win in his face.

So, I drove upstate,
and sat in the kitchen I grew up in,

and, uh, he had no reaction.

It wasn't his fault.
He didn't even know who I was,

because his Alzheimer's
had taken a turn for the worse,

despite the best drugs
and care out there.

And that is why I'm here.

What if my contribution to this hospital
is the difference between...

no cure and a cure for cancer?

The difference between
a man not recognizing
his wife of 35 years...

and being able to look at her and say,
"Good morning, honey. I love you."

If there's a disease out there
killing people,

I am writing you a blank check
to fight back.

So, things are going to change a lot.

We're gonna have to ask you
for the cell phone.

Do what you need to do.
I'm okay.

I'm pretty sure my X-ray machine
can take your phone in a fight.

It'll fry it.

Fine.

- How old is she?
- Thirty-two.

Wow. And she's already
the C.E.O. of a public company.

She's a workaholic.
Okay, Carly, hold still.

The X-ray machine
is gonna pass over your leg.

Okay.
What'd you do with your time off?

Snowboarding in Gstaad.

Switzerland.

Do you ski or board?
You can come with if you like.

Maybe we should start with a drink
before we go around the world.

Oh, you wanna have
a drink with me?

Oh, very aggressive.
I like that.

I wanna run this place
like a business.

What, you want to put
more vending machines
in the hallway?

Maybe a roulette wheel?
Nice one.
But I'm serious.

The product that
you're selling is good health.
It shouldn't be a tough sell.

If you don't wanna sell,
it means you don't care
if people get your product.

You care if people are healthy,
or are you too proud for that?

Who's that?

Oh, that's just
one of our doctors.

Aren't, uh, doctors
supposed to wear lab coats?

- He's different.
- Everyone's buddy.

- No, not exactly.
- Then why does he get away with it?

It's just a coat.
He's very good.

Hmm.

- Say "Ah".
- Ah.

Now really belt it out,
like you're gonna throw up.
Ahh!

Perfect.

Okay, that's it.

We should know in a couple of days
what's growing in your son's throat.

Hello?

- He can't talk.
- Excuse me?

- He had knee surgery.
- Right?

About a year ago,
and then he couldn't talk.

Right.
Yeah, well, that happens.

You know, it's very dangerous
operating so close to the vocal cords.

Okay. Well, we'll send
your kid's culture to the lab
and somebody will call you.

Boo!

Just wanted to see if your dad,
you know-- Bizarre.

I need you to wear
your lab coat.

I need two days of outrageous sex
with someone obscenely younger
than you, like half your age.

Wear the coat.

Man, oh, man,
someone got spanked
real good this morning.

A guy gives $100 million
to cure cancer.

A pretty small concession
to wear a lab coat.

Cure cancer?

Is the hospital getting
out of the dull business
of treating patients?

You know that's not
what he's doing.
I know exactly what he's doing.

He's using us to run
clinical trials.

Oh, shame on him,
saving lives like that.

It's unethical.

Oh, are you coming in too?
I thought I had you convinced.

Clinical trials
save thousands of lives.

He's using patients as guinea pigs.

Pharmaceutical companies
do that every day.

Are we a pharmaceutical company?
We're gonna wind up pressuring
desperate patients...

into choices that are
bad for them, good for us.

We're gonna compromise
patient care.
Who the hell am I talking to?

Suddenly ethical lapses
are a major concern for you?

What's interesting is
it suddenly doesn't bother you.

So, if you ignore ethics
to save one person it's admirable,

but if you do it to save
a thousand, you're a bastard.

All he's done is taken your game
and gone pro.

He's not gonna kill a few patients.
He's gonna kill this hospital.

It took him three seconds
to size you up.

And surprise,
he doesn't like you.

Wear the damn coat.

Hello. I'm, uh, Dr. Foreman.
I work with Dr. House.

Our initial tests say you're fine.

We think you had a clot,
but it resolved on its own.

So, we're gonna keep you
overnight to be safe,
and you can go back home tomorrow...

or back to work.

Hey, are you okay?

Get in here!
I need a line in her.
I.V. morphine, stat!

You get any read
on the new chairman of the board?

- Yeah, he took your parking space.
- It's not necessarily bad news.

Do you ever watch
Gilligan's Island reruns...

and really, really think
they're gonna get off
the island this time?

We should introduce ourselves.
It couldn't hurt.

Make him a Bundt cake.
A patient hit a 10 on the pain scale.
What would explain that?

There was no clot in her leg.
The angio was totally clean.

What about the muscle biopsy?

No neurogenic
or myopathic abnormalities.

She was also negative for trichinosis.
No toxoplasmosis
or polyarteritis nodosa.

Robert, what was
her sedimentation rate?

Normal, Allison.

Therefore, no inflammation,
no immunologic response.

Do you mind sharing
that number with me?

Fifteen, Allison.

- Are you mocking me?
- Duh, Allison.

I'm just suggesting
we look outside the box.
What if her sed rate is elevated?

Well, let's go further outside the box.
Let's say the angio revealed a clot.

And then let's say
we treated that clot,

and now she's all better
and personally thanked me
by performing--

My Aunt Elyssa
lives in Philadelphia.

Oh, it's story time.
Let me get my "baba".

Her normal temperature is 96.2,
not 98.6 like you and me.

If her temperature were 98.6,
she'd have a fever.

I'm just wondering if you think
we could apply the same logic
to Carly's sed rate.

It's absurd.

I love it.

If 15 is high for Carly,
then she has inflammation.

Which could, in turn, mean cancer.
I'll talk to Wilson.

Next time, skip Aunt Elyssa.

You're probably talking about
a primary bone cancer.

It could be tricky to detect.
We'll need a bone scan.

That's why I'm talking
to an oncologist.

Sure. I've nothing better to do
besides departmental meetings
and budget reports.

New chairman of the board,
you know.
Oh, I hadn't heard.

Right. Clinical trials.
Completely unethical.

And a very bad omen for you.
There's not much money in curing
African sleeping sickness.

No. I have seen
every scary movie ever made.

Six-year-old twins
in front of an elevator of blood.

Boys' choirs.
Those are bad omens.

This is much more mundane.
A billionaire wants to get laid.

Billionaires buy movie studios
to get laid.

They buy hospitals
to get respect.

And the reason you want respect?
To get laid.

Okay then.
Just gotta think like a billionaire.

Let's see.
There'll be big,
scary changes and then,

"Oh, Dr. Cameron, we should have dinner
to discuss your future on my G5 private jet."

Come on. You know
how good you have it here.

Yes, I'm the big poobah,
the big cheese, the go-to guy.

You do the cases you wanna do
when you wanna do them.

You're not gonna have that
anywhere else.
Relax.

I've been through
three regime changes in this hospital.
Every time same story.

Just keep your head down.
That's all I'm saying.

And put on your coat.
It itches.

So, you gonna do this bone scan
for me, or what?

Yes.

Dr. Simpson, did you hear?
New management.

I'm thinking of switching
to orthopedics.

How much do you guys
get for a massage now?
Without the happy ending.

Dr. House, what do you want?
Do you remember a guy
named Van Der Meer?

Not a big talker.
You fixed his A.C.L.

No, not according
to my medical malpractice premiums.

Didn't get hypotensive
during surgery?

No strokes?
Maybe some connectivity loss?

What, you're gonna
get involved now?
I'm not involved.

A guy brought his son
into the clinic.
I didn't touch the son.

I'm not taking
any responsibility there.
The son's fine. Can't shut him up.

Dad show any symptoms
of cortical disease? Wernicke's?

No. Nothing.

That's why we settled
because we couldn't find anything.

The guy got over a million dollars.
Don't tell me he's complaining.

He's not saying boo.

Your father wants to know
when you'll be back from your trip.

E-mail back
it's taking longer than I thought.

He doesn't need to
see me like this.
What about your brother?

- No.
- Hello. I'm Dr. Wilson. I was--

- Um, Robin, I'm gonna need a minute.
- Oh.

Thank you.

There are two Dr. Wilsons
in this hospital,

one in ophthalmology
and one in cancer.

My eyes are fine,
so I'm guessing you're here
to tell me that I have cancer.

There is no cancer in your bone.

You're not smiling.

There's something called referred pain.
You could have cancer
in one part of your body...

that presents in another.

Given your age
and your family history,
I'm thinking your colon.

Great.

I was at Columbia
when my mom died.
Now there's a blast.

Cleaning up her vomit,
and then running to my econ final.

Look.

If I'm a short-timer, give me drugs.
I'll go back to work. I'll die there.

Whoa. There's a very quick test
to see if you even have it--
a colonoscopy.

I know how you do that test.

If you have colon cancer,
we can treat it. It's early.

That's what they told my mom.
She was dead six months later.

You're a smart person
about to make a very bad decision.

You know, cancer treatment's
come a long way in 12 years,
but if you don't do this now--

I don't wanna be looked at.

There is another way.

We could do a virtual colonoscopy.

Basically, we do a C. T. scan
of your colon. It's noninvasive.

But it's very expensive.
I'm assuming that's not a problem.

Say yes.

Dr. Becker--

Mr. Van Der Meer.

What?

Relax.
Ricky's gonna be just "finkf".
Strep throat.

Here's a prescription
for an antibiotic. He should
be all better in a few days.

Although,
this might sting a little.

I wanna see you again
real soon.

Virtual colonoscopy was clean.

No colon cancer.

What happened to our regular,
old-fashioned colonoscopy?

She was uncomfortable
doing any more tests.
I had to convince her to do that one.

Do you get that often?
Women would rather die
than get naked with you?

She's scared.

But not of tests.
Just embarrassing ones.

Yeah.

It's not an inflammatory process.
It's not a clot, because Chase's
angio says so.

And it's not cancer,
because her tush is perfect.

Anybody else got an Aunt Elyssa
with weird stuff?

Maybe it's worth looking into--

I thought you said
Carly's angio was clean.

It was clean.

You guys see
the problem here?

There's no indication
of any abnormalities.

No lesions,
no spurs, no mastis--

Her toes are screwed up.
They're backwards.

You guys know how much surgery
it's gonna take to swap 'em back?

What are you talking about?

Well, either she literally
has two left feet,
or you angioed the wrong leg.

That's impossible.
It can't be--
Or maybe it was Jenny.

How come some resident
signed this radiology report?
Were you even in the room?

- I'll redo her angio--
- You'll do nothing!

Foreman,
you do the angiogram.

I can't believe I did that.

Why do we have to
redo the angiogram?

There was a shadow
on the first test result.
Shadow?

A shadow means
there could be a blood clot, right?

I read Conn's Current Therapy.

A real page-turner.
No, it wasn't that kind of shadow.

My chest hurts.
It's from the tracer I injected.

You might also get a little nauseous
or have a metallic taste.
All normal.

I'm a runner.
I shouldn't feel like this.

Carly, I'm looking
at your vitals right now and--

I can't breathe.
Carly?

My chest.

My chest.

Respiratory arrest.
Call code.

- What do you got?
- She's drowning.

Foreman did a thoracentesis
to drain the fluid from her lungs.

She's stable.
They sent the fluid to the lab.
It'll be back in a few hours.

You'll be happy to know
Chase's mistake didn't cost her.
Angio revealed no clot.

I'm thrilled.

Okay, see, now you're just
being stubborn.

It's cold.
It's a perfectly good excuse
to wear your lab coat.

Carly needs a heart transplant.

Thoracentesis revealed
a transudate?

I haven't gotten it back yet.

Her MUGA scan,
what was the ejection fraction?

Maybe you could treat it surgically.
I haven't done the MUGA.

How do you know
she needs a heart transplant?

I got my aura read today.

It said someone close to me
had a broken heart.

Since when do I need
the secret pass code to talk to you?

I can't tell you anything.
Professional responsibility.

Like that matters to you.

Not my professional
responsibility, yours.

New regime.
You gotta keep
your head down too.

Now that's good thinking,
because I was gonna go
right to Cuddy...

and rat you out
as soon as you were done talking.

I'm not saying you want to.
I'm saying you'd be obligated to.

Because of my position
on the board?

Because of my position
on the transplant committee?

Hey, you brought this up for a reason.
You need to talk to me.

I can't.

You sure you're doing the right thing?

I've come up with a few
really great rationalizations.

Sorry to interrupt.
We have a problem.

Thoracentesis revealed a transudate.

We did an echo.
She's in severe congestive heart failure.

She needs a heart transplant.

- We'll get her on the list immediately.
- She's already on the list.

Come in.

Thanks.

What is a department
of Diagnostic Medicine?

That's Dr. House's department.

They deal with cases
that other doctors can't figure out.

It's a financial black hole.

The department costs us
three million a year...

to treat one patient a week.

He saves one patient per week.
What about everyone else?

His department's not going to find
the cure for breast cancer.

- Uh, maybe not, but--
- Are you sleeping with House?

What? No.
But you did. Right?

A long time ago?

That's an incredibly
inappropriate question.

If your judgment is compromised
by a prior or current relationship,
that is my business.

I respect him.
That is all you need to know.

He's still not wearing the coat.

Well, I told him--
I'm sure you did.

And yet he's not wearing it.
I'm just wondering if that's
a reflection on him...

or on you.

You're Dr. House.

I found a picture online
of you at a conference.
You need a heart transplant.

- I run. I work out--
- You cut yourself.

Probably highly ritualized.

You play the same Sarah McLachlan song
over and over while you do it.

Probably works better
than antidepressants.

- I don't understand how that--
- You're a high-powered bulimic.
You make yourself throw up.

You had to find the most efficient way
to vomit without revealing
the telltale signs of bulimia,

which is all, ooh,
very unseemly for a C.E.O.

So, you found a common antidote
to accidental poisoning to do the job--

Ipecac.

Which is great if your kid's
just swallowed a bottle of aspirin,

but really, really bad
if it's a habit.

It causes muscle damage.

It caused the pain in your leg.

And destroyed your heart.

How often do you do it?

Three times a week.

In about an hour,
there's gonna be an emergency meeting
of the transplant committee...

to discuss where you fall on the list
should a new heart become available.

Problem is, I am required
to tell the committee about your bulimia.

It's a major psychiatric condition.
Ranks right up there with suicidal.
Makes you a very bad risk.

So, you're here to tell me
I have just a few hours to live?

Unless I lie to the committee.

But if they find out,
I lose my medical license.

This would be a very good time
to offer me a bribe.

You know, how much is your life worth?
How much is my job worth?

Why are you here
doing this to me?
What do you want?

I wanna know what's right.

Am I worth it?

You think I'm pathetic.

Has a goodjob.
Everything in the world.

But she just doesn't like
the way that she looks.

Oh, stop hiding!

I'm asking you
if you wanna live or die?
You can't even say that.

What do you
want me to do? Cry?
Yes.

I want you to tell me
that your life is important to you,
because I don't know.

Because that's what's
on the table right now--
your life.

I don't wanna die.

I don't.

This 32-year-old female
was admitted by my staff,

because of paralysis
and pain in her right thigh.

The patient rapidly deteriorated
and now has severe congestive
heart failure.

Pressors and vasodilators
have not improved
her condition whatsoever.

Pulmonary function tests
show an F.E.C. of over three liters,

with F.E. V.-1
of at least 90% of predicted...

and preserved F.E.D./F.E.C. ratio
and preserved D.L.C.O. as well.

Her MUGA had an ejection fraction of 19%
with no focal wall motion abnormalities.

Heart catheterization revealed
clean left, right and circumflex arteries.

And a subsequent biopsy revealed
irreversible cardiomyopathy.

Which is why we're here.

Uh, Dr. House, I'm confused
by your time and date stamps.

It appears that you put Carly
on the transplant list
before you did these tests.

I had a hunch.

You don't have hunches.
You know.

Look, if the tests
had come back differently,
obviously I would have taken her off the list.

But on the long shot--

On the long shot that I was right,
I didn't want to waste time.

Is there any exclusion criteria
we should know about?

CAT scan revealed no tumors,
and Dr. Wilson found no trace of cancer.

What about any other criteria?

- No atherosclerotic vascular disease.
- Are there any--

No pneumonia, no bacteremia.
No hep "B" or "C"
or any other letters.

Substance abuse.
Any history--

No alcohol. No drugs.

Any psychiatric conditions?
History of depression?
She's a little blue.

But turns out
she needs a heart transplant, so--

Dr. House, if you subvert
or mislead this committee,

you will be subject
to disciplinary action.

Dr. Cuddy, do you have reason
to think that I would lie?

I simply want you
to answer the question.

Is there anything
on the recipient exclusion criteria...

that would disqualify your patient
from getting a heart?

No.

Beautiful organ donor weather.

You lied, didn't you?

I never lie.
Big mistake.

Then you should have voted
against putting her on the list.

- You're my friend.
- Oh, geez, have some backbone.

If you think I'm wrong,
do something.

Wait. You're getting mad at me
for sticking up for you?

You value our friendship
more than your ethical responsibilities.

Our friendship
is an ethical responsibility.

What is it?

My patient's getting a heart.

He's not gonna fire you.

I'd fire you. Bye-bye.

I screw up, the patient dies,
I'll never get another job.

So stick your head between your legs
and go lick your wounds in Gstaad.

Well, I like it here.

You guys don't think it's weird
House knew the patient needed
a heart transplant...

before we did any heart tests?

That's House.
He knows things.

But usually he's putting it
in our face.

Telling us how cleverly
he figured it out.

This time nothing.
Just had a hunch.

That is weird.

Cauterize that one bleeder.

Okay, ready for the donor heart.

They just stopped Carly's heart,
and your dumb patient--

They're all--
Oh, the guy who can't talk.
Mr. Van Der Meer.

He's scheduled an appointment
to see you.
Oh, goody.

I wanted you to know
Chase is worried
you're going to fire him.

It's bad enough
that screwups cost lives.

Now we've got Vogler,
screwups cost jobs.

I want Chase scared.

I want him doing everything he can
to protect his job.

Dr. House, if you were in his position,
wouldn't you be more likely
to perform well if you were reassured--

Oh, will you stop it
with the book?
Why are you doing this?

I'm not doing anything.
You're manipulating everyone.

People... dismiss me.

Because I'm a woman.
Because I'm pretty.

Because... I'm not aggressive.

My opinions shouldn't be rejected
just because people don't like me.

They like you.

Everyone likes you.

Do you?

I have to know.

No.

Okay.

Five hours, 23 minutes.
That's fast.

Is that good or bad?
It depends.

Either surgery went really well,
or it ended really abruptly.

Textbook.
She'll outlive us all.

Thank you.

Triage nurse, pick up line 2741.

So, sing for me.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
Come on, look.

When you had your surgery,
you were intubated. The surgeon
stuck a tube down your throat.

Now, it never happens
and it's never caught,
but it happened.

Your vocal cords were paralyzed.
I treated the spastic dysphonia
with Botox.

Ironically, a substance
that tightens every other
corner of your face.

It actually loosens the tongue.
I have healed you.
You can talk.

Oh, well.

Boo!

Okay.

You don't have to say anything.
It can be our little secret.

If you can talk, blink twice.

But you're not going to,

because you think
you won't be entitled to the money
you won in the settlement with Simpson.

Yesterday, I would have said
you had to give the money back.

Today, hospital's
come into a lot of money.

Mum's the word.

Hey.

Hey.

I know the cardiologist
has given you some guidelines,

a schedule of medication
and a strict diet.

Just what somebody
with an eating disorder needs.

So I thought I'd get you started.

Fried chicken
from the Carnegie Deli.

- You're kidding.
- Yeah.

Actually, I got it downstairs.

Why did you fight for me?

You risked so much,
and you hardly know me.

You're my patient.

Don't screw it up.

Love this part!

Okay. He ruined it.

Just wanted to stop by
and introduce myself. I'm Edward Vogler,
new chairman of the board.

In a way, I guess
that makes me your boss.

I am sorry
about the lab coat thing.
My dry cleaners just destroyed it.

That was my very first
heart transplant committee meeting.
Very exciting.

Trust me,
Six Flags-- way more exciting.

Your patient's very lucky
to have such a passionate doctor.
Stands up for what he believes in.

Sweet of you to say.

Yeah. Afraid
you've been duped though.

The nurse found this
in the patient's purse.

Oh, my.
If only I'd known.

Tough being a doctor,
having all that power.

The power to play God.

Yes. I don't envy
the transplant committee
their responsibility.

They basically
would have been forced
to kill that poor girl.

I'm not sure
I could have done that.

This is not a game to me,
Dr. House.

No. It's actually
more like we're dancing
right now.

So let's get to the point.
You don't like me.

I'm pretty sure
I'm not gonna like you.
It's nothing personal.

I don't like anybody.

But none of that
really matters, does it?

Because you've got money,
and I've got tenure.

You need full board approval
to get rid of me.
I've got Cuddy.

Right.
And Wilson.

So, as long as
we're stuck with each other,

we might as well
ignore each other.

That wasn't nearly as dramatic
as I was hoping.

I looked into that tenure thing,
and you're right.

It's actually easier for me
to get rid of a board member
like Cuddy or Wilson...

than to get rid of a doctor.

That's interesting, isn't it?