House (2004–2012): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

(BELL RINGS)

Why are you late?

- You're not going to like the answer.
- I already know the answer.

I missed the bus.

I don't doubt it.
No bus stops near Brad's.

You spent the night,
the alarm didn't work, or maybe it did.

I didn't sleep with him.

- Girl, either there's something...
- I missed the bus!

There's something either
very wrong with you

or there's something
very wrong with him.

There's nothing wrong with him.



Please tell me
you know that for a fact.

Melanie, I gotta go.

You're lying, aren't you?

I wouldn't lie to you.
Good morning, guys!

CLASS: Good morning, Ms. Rebecca!

Everybody's in their seats?

CLASS: Yes.

Okay.

Sydney, why don't you tell us
what you did this weekend?

Come on, Sydney.
We know you're not shy.

How come we always have to tell you
what we did,

and you never tell us what you did?

(CHILDREN GIGGLING)

Okay.



I had a really great weekend.

But you can't tell Ms. Melanie, okay?

What did you do?

I made a new friend.

It's so much fun to make new friends,
isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah.

Did you tell your mom and dad
about your new friend?

Absolutely.

You should never keep anything
from your parents.

And I told mine...

(GIBBERS)

(CHILDREN GIGGLE)

(CHUCKLES)

(GIBBERISH)

(CHILDREN GIGGLE)

(CONTINUES GIBBERING)

"C-A-L...

"H-E... The."

GIRL: We know that word. "The."

(GASPS)

(GROANS)

WILSON: Twenty-nine-year-old female.

First seizure one month ago.

Lost the ability to speak.

Babbled like a baby.

Progressive deterioration of
mental status.

HOUSE: You see that?

They all assume that I'm a patient
because of this cane.

So put on a white coat
like the rest of us.

I don't want them to think
I'm a doctor.

You see where the administration

might have a problem
with that attitude?

People don't want a sick doctor.

That's fair enough.

I don't like healthy patients.

The 29-year-old female...

The one who can't talk?
I like that part.

She's my cousin.

And your cousin doesn't like
the diagnosis.

I wouldn't either. Brain tumor.

She's going to die. Boring.

No wonder you're
such a renowned diagnostician.

You don't need to actually know
anything to figure out what's wrong.

You're the oncologist.

I'm just a lowly
infectious disease guy.

Yes. Just a simple country doctor.

Brain tumors at her age
are highly unlikely.

She's 29.

Whatever she's got
is highly unlikely.

The protein markers for the three most
prevalent brain cancers

came up negative.

That's an HMO lab.

Might as well have sent it to a high
school kid with a chemistry set.

No family history.

I thought your uncle died of cancer.

Other side. No environmental factors.

That you know of.

And she's not responding
to radiation treatment.

None of which is
even close to dispositive.

All it does is raise one question.

Your cousin goes to an HMO?

Come on.

Why leave all the fun
for the coroner?

What's the point of putting together a
team if you're not gonna use them?

You've got three overqualified doctors
working for you,

getting bored.

FOREMAN: It's a lesion.

And the big green thing

in the middle of the bigger
blue thing on a map

is an island.

I was hoping for something
a bit more creative.

Shouldn't we be speaking to the patient
before we start diagnosing?

- Is she a doctor?
- No, but...

Everybody lies.

Dr. House doesn't like
dealing with patients.

Isn't treating patients
why we became doctors?

No. Treating illnesses is
why we became doctors.

Treating patients is what makes
most doctors miserable.

So you're trying to eliminate the
humanity from the practice of medicine?

If we don't talk to them, they can't
lie to us, and we can't lie to them.

Humanity's overrated.

I don't think it's a tumor.

First-year medical school,
if you hear hoofbeats,

you think horses, not zebras.

Are you in first-year medical school?

No. First of all,
there's nothing on the CAT scan.

Second of all, if this is a horse,

then her kindly family doctor in
Trenton makes the obvious diagnosis,

and it never gets near this office.

Differential diagnosis, people.

If it's not a tumor,
what are the suspects?

Why couldn't she talk?

Aneurysm, stroke
or some other ischemic syndrome.

Get her a contrast MRI.

Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease?

Mad cow?

Mad zebra.

Wernicke's encephalopathy.

No. Blood thiamine level was normal.

The lab in Trenton
could have screwed up the blood tests.

I assume it's a corollary
if people lie that people screw up.

Redraw the blood tests

and get her scheduled
for that contrast MRI. ASAP.

Let's find out what kind of zebra we're
treating here.

WOMAN ON PA: Radiology,
please call the page.

Radiology, please call the page.

I was expecting you in my office
20 minutes ago.

Really? Well, that's odd,

because I had no intention of being in
your office 20 minutes ago.

You think we have nothing
to talk about?

No. I just can't think of anything I'd
be interested in.

I sign your paychecks.

I have tenure.

Are you gonna grab my cane now,
stop me from leaving?

That would be juvenile.

I can still fire you
if you're not doing your job.

I'm here from 9:00 to 5:00.

Your billings
are practically nonexistent.

- Rough year.
- You ignore requests for consults.

I call back. Sometimes I misdial.

You're six years behind
on your obligations to the clinic.

See? I was right.
This doesn't interest me.

Six years times three weeks,
you owe me better than four months.

It's 5:00. I'm going home.

To what?

Nice.

Look, Dr. House,
the only reason why I don't fire you

is because your reputation is still
worth something to this hospital.

Excellent.
We have a point of agreement.

You're not gonna fire me.

Your reputation won't last
if you don't do your job.

The clinic is part of your job.

I want you to do your job.

But, as the philosopher Jagger
once said,

"You can't always get what you want."

You're not my doctor.
Are you Dr. House?

Thankfully, no. I'm Dr. Chase.

Dr. House is the head of
Diagnostic Medicine.

He's very busy, but he has taken
a keen interest in your case.

FOREMAN: We inject gadolinium
into a vein.

It distributes itself
throughout your brain

and acts as a contrast material

for the magnetic resonance imager.

Basically, whatever's in your head
lights up like a Christmas tree.

FOREMAN: It might make you feel
a little light-headed.

WOMAN: Dr. Cameron.

I'm sorry. I have to stop you.
There is a problem.

You pulled my authorization!

Yes. Why are you yelling?

No MRIs, no imaging studies, no labs.

You also can't make
long-distance phone calls.

If you're going to fire me,
have the guts to face me.

Or photocopies. You're still yelling.

I'm angry!
You're risking a patient's life.

I assume those are
two separate points.

You showed me disrespect.

You embarrassed me. And as long as
I work here, you have no legal...

Is the yelling designed to scare me?

Because I'm not sure what it is
I'm supposed to be scared of.

More yelling?

That's not scary.

That you're going to hurt me?
That's scary.

But I'm pretty sure I can outrun you.

Oh, I looked into that philosopher you
quoted. Jagger.

And you're right,
you can't always get what you want.

But as it turns out, "If you try
sometimes, you get what you need."

So, because you want me
to treat patients,

you're not letting me treat patients?

I need you to do your job.

Do the MRI. She folded.

(SIGHS)

I've got to do four hours a week
in this clinic

until I make up the time I've missed.

2054. I'll be caught up in 2054.

You better love this cousin
a whole lot.

All right, Rebecca, I know you may feel
a little claustrophobic in there,

but we need you to remain still.

CHASE: Okay, we're going to begin.

(MACHINERY CLICKING)

(THUMPING)

I don't feel so good.

CHASE: It's all right.
Just try to relax.

(LOUD HUMMING)

(GASPING)

Rebecca?

(CONTINUES GASPING)

CAMERON: Rebecca?

Rebecca?

Get her out of there.

She probably fell asleep.

She's exhausted. She was claustrophobic
30 seconds ago.

She's not sleeping.
We gotta get her out of there.

It'll just be another minute.

If she's having an allergic reaction to
the gadolinium,

she'll be dead in two minutes.

- Hold her neck.
- All right.

Oh, she's ashen.

She's not breathing. Epi.5.

(OXYGEN HISSING) Come on.

I can't ventilate.

Too much edema.
Where's the surgical airway kit?

CHASE: Yeah. Coming.

Good call.

(OXYGEN PUMPING)

We'll get that tube out of
your throat later today.

Just get some rest for now, okay?

Told you. You can't trust people.

She probably knew
she was allergic to gadolinium.

Figured it was an easy way to get
someone to cut a hole in her throat.

Can't get a picture.

Gonna have to get a thousand words.

You actually want me to talk to
the patient, get a history?

We need to know if there's some genetic
or environmental cause

that's triggering
an inflammatory response.

I thought everybody lied.

Truth begins in lies. Think about it.

That doesn't mean anything, does it?

12:52 p.m.
Dr. House checks in.

Please write that down.

Do you have cable TV here somewhere?

General Hospital
starts in eight minutes.

No TV, but we've got patients.

Can't you give out the aspirin
yourself? I'll do paperwork.

I made sure your first case
was an interesting one.

Cough just won't go away?
Runny nose looks a funny color?

Patient admitted complaining of
back spasms.

Oh? I think I read about
something like that

in 'The New England
Journal of Medicine'.

Patient is orange.

The color?

No, the fruit.

You mean yellow. It's jaundice.

I mean orange.

- Well, how orange? It's probably...
- Exam Room 1.

WOMAN ON PA: Dr. Kahn,
you're needed in Pediatrics.

I was playing golf
and my cleats got stuck.

It hurt a little, but I kept playing.

The next morning,
I could barely stand up.

Well, you're smiling, so I take it that
means this isn't serious.

What's that? What are you doing?

Painkillers.

Oh, for you. For your leg.

No, 'cause they're yummy.

You want one?
Make your back feel better.

Unfortunately,
you have a deeper problem.

Your wife is having an affair.

- What?
- You're orange, you moron.

It's one thing for you not to notice,

but if your wife hasn't picked up
on the fact

that her husband has changed colors,
she's just not paying attention.

By the way, do you consume
just a ridiculous amount

of carrots and megadose vitamins?

Carrots turn you yellow,
the niacin turns you red.

Find some finger paint and do the math.

And get a good lawyer.

HOUSE: Deep breath.

It's cold.

Has he been using his inhaler?

Not in the past few days. He's only 10.

I worry about children taking such
strong medicine so frequently.

What happened to your leg?

HOUSE: Your doctor probably
was concerned

about the strength of
the medicine, too.

She probably weighed that danger
against the danger of not breathing.

Oxygen is so important during
those prepubescent years,

don't you think?

Okay, I'm gonna assume that
nobody has ever told you

what asthma is.

Or if they have,
you had other things on your mind.

A stimulant triggers cells
in your child's airways

to release substances

that inflame the air passages
and cause them to contract.

Mucus production increases,
the cell lining starts to shed.

But the steroids...

The steroids stop the inflammation.

The more often this happens...

What?
The more often this happens, what?

HOUSE: Forget it. If you don't trust
steroids, you shouldn't trust doctors.

REBECCA: My mother passed away
four years ago.

She had a heart attack,

and my father broke his back
doing construction...

(PAGER BEEPS)

It's House. It's urgent. I'm sorry.

You couldn't have knocked?

Steroids. Give her steroids.

High doses of prednisone.

You're looking for support for
a diagnosis of cerebral vasculitis?

Inflammation of blood vessels
in the brain is awfully rare,

especially for someone her age.

So is a tumor.
Her sed rate is elevated.

Mildly.

That could mean anything. Or nothing.

Yeah, I know. I have no reason
to think that it's vasculitis.

Except that it could be.

If the blood vessels are inflamed,

that's gonna look exactly
like what we saw

on the MRI from Trenton County,

and the pressure is gonna cause
neurological symptoms.

We can't diagnose that
without a biopsy.

Yes, we can.

We treat it.

If she gets better,
we know we're right.

And if we're wrong?

Then we learn something else.

Why steroids?

Just part of your treatment.

You haven't had many visitors.

- No boyfriend?
- Three dates.

I wouldn't have stood by him
if he were vomiting all day.

What about work?
You must have friends from work.

Pretty much everybody I like
is five years old.

The nurse said
you're stopping my radiation.

We're just trying
some alternative medication.

So where's your family from then?

Steroids aren't
an alternative to radiation.

The tests weren't really conclusive.

We're treating you for vasculitis.

It's the inflammation of
blood vessels in the brain.

It's not a tumor?

I don't have a tumor?

Hey, you should have told her
the truth. It's a long-shot guess.

Thank you. If House is right, no harm.

If he's wrong, I've given a dying woman
a couple days' hope.

False hope.

If there was any other type available,
I would have given her that.

Why are you smelling Billy's pants?

I'm not.

Looked like you were.

I was smelling the floor.

Oh.

Do you have any pets in this class?

No. But we used to have a gerbil,
but Carly L. dropped a book on it.

Careless.

Do you need to smell it?

No. I'm smelling for mold.

- I don't need to smell it.
- You could smell our parrot.

You said you didn't have any pets
in this class.

A parrot is a bird.

Listen, Jax is not the father...

FOREMAN: Parrots are
the primary source of psittacosis.

It's not the parrot.

And psittacosis can lead to

nerve problems
and neurological complications.

- How many kids were in the class?
- 20.

How many are home sick?

None, but...

None. But you figured that
five-year-olds

are more serious about bird hygiene
than their teacher?

Have you been through her home?

FOREMAN: She lives in Trenton.

I can go up to her room tomorrow
morning, ask her for the key.

Would the police call for permission

before dropping by
to check out a crime scene?

It's not a crime scene.

As far as I know, she's running
a meth lab out of her basement.

She's a kindergarten teacher.

And if I were a kindergarten student
I would trust her implicitly.

Okay. I'll give you a "for instance."

The lady back there who made
your egg salad sandwich,

her eyes look glassy.
Did you notice that?

Now, hospital policy is to stay home
if you're sick.

But if you're making $8.00 an hour,

then you kind of need
the $8.00 an hour, right?

And the sign in the bathroom says

that employees must wash
after using the facilities,

but I figure that somebody
who wipes snot on a sleeve

isn't hyper-concerned
about sanitary conditions.

So what do you think,
should I trust her?

I want you to check the patient's home
for contaminants, garbage, medication.

I can't just break into
someone's house.

Isn't that how you got into
the Felkers' home?

Yeah, I know.

Court records are sealed.

You were 16. It was a stupid mistake.

But your old gym teacher
has a big mouth.

Should write a thank-you note.

I should thank him?

Well...

I needed somebody around here
with street smarts.

Okay? Who knows when they're being
conned, knows how to con.

I should sue you.

Pretty sure you can't sue somebody
for wrongful hiring.

But I'm pretty sure I can sue
if you fire me

for not breaking
into some lady's house.

Doing research.
People are fascinating, aren't they?

Why are you giving Adler steroids?

Because she's my patient.

That's what you do with patients,
you give them medicine.

You don't prescribe medicine
based on guesses.

At least we don't
since Tuskegee and Mengele.

You're comparing me to a Nazi? Nice.

I'm stopping the treatment.

She's my patient.

It's my hospital.

I did not get her sick.
She is not an experiment.

I have a legitimate theory about
what's wrong with her.

With no proof.

There's never any proof.

Five different doctors come up
with five different diagnoses

based on the same evidence.

You don't have any evidence.

And nobody knows anything, huh?

Then how is it you always think
you're right?

I don't. I just find it hard to operate
on the opposite assumption.

And why are you so afraid of
making a mistake?

Because I'm a doctor.

Because when we make mistakes,
people die.

Oh, come on.

People used to have more respect
for cripples, you know.

They didn't really.

So how you feeling?

Much better, thanks.

Are you Dr. House?

I thought he was a he, but...

No.

Don't eat too much, too fast.

Thank him for me.

Right.

Should I discontinue the treatment,
boss?

You got lucky.

Cool, huh?

Okay, once again.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

(EXHALES)

Good.

Am I ever gonna meet Dr. House?

Well, you might run into him
at the movies or on the bus.

Is he a good man?

He's a good doctor.

Can you be one without the other?

Don't you have to care about people?

Caring is a good motivator.

He's found something else.

Feel this, both sides?

Okay, squeeze. Harder. All right.

He's your friend, huh?

Yeah.

Does he care about you?

I think so.

You don't know?

As Dr. House likes to say,
"Everybody lies."

It's not what people say.
It's what they do.

Yeah. He cares about me.

REBECCA: I can't see.

I can't see.

(MONITOR BEEPS RAPIDLY)

A little help in here!

Your chest will be sore for a while.

We needed to shock you
to get your heart going.

Okay, can you arrange these
to tell a story?

FOREMAN: She couldn't put them
in order.

Could the damage have been caused
by a lack of oxygen during her seizure?

No. I gave her the same test five
minutes later. She did just fine.

The altered mental status is
intermittent,

just like the verbal skills.

So what now?

Given the latest symptoms, it's clearly
growing deeper into the brain stem.

Soon, she won't be able to walk.

She'll go blind permanently,

and then the respiratory center
will fail.

How long do we have?

If it's a tumor,
we're talking a month or two.

If it's infectious, a few weeks.

If it's vascular,
that'll probably be fastest of all.

Maybe a week.

We're gonna stop all treatment.

FOREMAN: I still think it's a tumor.

I think we should go back
to the radiation.

CHASE: She didn't respond to
the radiation.

Well, maybe we didn't see the effect
until after we started steroids.

No, it's not a tumor.

Those steroids did something.

I just don't know what.

So we're just gonna do nothing?
We're just gonna watch her die?

Yeah, we're gonna watch her die.

Specifically, we're gonna watch
how fast she's dying.

You just told us, each diagnosis
has its own time frame.

When we see how fast it's killing her,
we'll know what it is.

And by then, maybe there's nothing
we can do about it.

There's got to be something we can do.
Something better than watching her die.

Well, I got nothing. How about you?

Bastard.

Oh, Cameron.
I need you for a couple of hours.

What's up?

When you break into someone's house,

it's always better to have
a white chick with you.

Adler's house?
Why don't we just ask her for her keys?

For all we know, she could be running
a meth lab out of her basement.

MAN: I'm tired a lot.

Any other reason why you think you
might have chronic fatigue syndrome?

It's kind of the definition, isn't it?

It's kind of the definition
of getting older.

I had a couple headaches last month,
a mild fever.

Sometimes I can't sleep,
and I have trouble concentrating.

Apparently not while researching
this stuff on the Internet.

I was thinking
it also might be fibromyalgia.

Excellent diagnosis.

Is there anything for that?

You know, I think there just might be.

I need 36 Vicodin
and change for a dollar.

Exam Room 2.

House doesn't believe in pretense.

Figures life's too short
and too painful.

So he just says what he thinks.

Nothing interesting in the garbage.

"I say what I think" is just
nother way of saying "I'm an asshole".

Well, if you wanted to be judged
for your medical prowess only,

maybe you shouldn't have broken into
someone's home.

I was 16.

Don't know about ticks,
but her dog's definitely got fleas.

I managed to make it to 17
without a criminal record.

Yeah? Well, you obviously
didn't grow up in my neighborhood.

That's right. You stole a loaf of bread
to feed your starving family, right?

You always eat during break-ins?

Am I supposed to respect their food
more than I respect their DVD players?

- You want some?
- No.

You gonna go hungry until she dies?

- No.
- You know what?

After centuries of slavery,
decades of civil rights marches,

and, more significantly,
living like a monk,

never getting less than a 4.0 GPA,
you don't think it's kind of disgusting

I get one of the top jobs in the
country because I'm a delinquent?

We'll eat,
then we'll tear up the carpet.

- You went to Hopkins, right?
- Yeah.

So you went to a better school
than I did.

You got better grades than I did.

(CHUCKLES)

So how did you get the job?

You stab a guy in a bar fight?

FOREMAN: Nothing.

It's not a tumor.

She's getting worse too fast.

She can't stand up.

No toxins? No medications?

Nothing that would explain
these symptoms.

Family history of
neurological problems?

Not that I could tell
from her underwear drawer.

You said "nothing that would explain
these symptoms."

What did you find
that doesn't explain these symptoms?

Dr. Wilson convinced you to treat
this patient under false pretenses.

Adler's not his cousin.

That's ridiculous. You can ask her
yourself. Can we get back...

- She's not Jewish.
- Rachel Adler's not Jewish?

I had ham at her apartment.

(CHUCKLES)

Dr. Foreman, a lot of Jews
have non-Jewish relatives,

and most of us don't keep kosher.

I can see getting through high school

without learning a thing about Jews,
but medical school?

Okay, maybe she's Jewish,
but she's definitely not your cousin.

(STAMMERING) Really? This guy is...

FOREMAN: You don't even know
her name.

You called her Rachel.
Her name is Rebecca.

Yes. Yes, her name is Rebecca.

I call her Rachel.

You idiot!

Listen, he's...

Not you. Him.

You said you didn't find anything.

Everything I found was in my...

You found ham.

So?

Where there's ham, there's pork.

Where there's pork,
there's neurocysticercosis.

Tapeworm?

You think she's got a worm
in her brain?

It fits.

Could have been living there for years.
Never occurred to me that...

Millions of people eat ham every day.

It's quite a leap to think
that's she's got a tapeworm.

Okay, Mr. Neurologist,

what happens when you give steroids
to a person who has a tapeworm?

They get a little better,
and then they get worse.

Just like Rebecca Adler did.

In a typical case,
if you don't cook pork well enough,

you digest live tapeworm larvae.

They've got these little hooks,

they grab onto your bowel, they live,
they grow up, they reproduce.

Reproduce?

There's only one lesion,
and it's nowhere near her bowel.

That's because
this is not a typical case.

Tapeworm can produce
20,000 to 30,000 eggs a day.

Guess where they go?

FOREMAN: Out.

HOUSE: Not all of them.

Unlike the larvae,

the egg can pass right through the
walls of the intestines

into the bloodstream.

And where does the bloodstream go?

CAMERON: Everywhere.

As long as it's healthy, the immune
system doesn't even know it's there.

The worm builds a wall,

uses secretions to shut down
the body's immune response

and control fluid flow.

It's really very beautiful.

As long as it's healthy.
So what do we do?

Call a vet, nurse the little guy back
to health?

It's too late for that. It's dying.

And as it dies,
this parasite loses the ability

to control the host's defenses.

The immune system wakes up,
attacks the worm

and everything starts to swell.

And that is very bad for the brain.

WILSON: It could still be
a hundred other things.

The eosinophil count was normal.

It's only abnormal in 30% of cases.

Proving nothing.

No, no, no, no. It...

Don't you see? It fits. It's perfect.

It explains everything.

But it proves nothing.

I can prove it by treating it.

No, you can't.

I was just with her.
She doesn't want any more treatments.

She doesn't want any more experiments.
She wants to go home and die.

Would you excuse us, please?

I'm Dr. House.

It's good to meet you.

You're being an idiot.

(CLEARS THROAT)

You have a tapeworm in your brain.

It's not pleasant,
but if we don't do anything,

you'll be dead by the weekend.

Have you actually seen the worm?

When you're all better,
I'll show you my diplomas.

You were sure I had vasculitis, too.

Now I can't walk
and I'm wearing a diaper.

What's this treatment gonna do for me?

I'm not talking about a treatment.
I'm talking about a cure.

But because I might be wrong,
you want to die.

What made you a cripple?

I had an infarction.

A heart attack?

It's what happens
when blood flow is obstructed.

If it's in the heart,
it's a heart attack.

If it's in the lungs,
it's a pulmonary embolism.

If it's in the brain, it's a stroke.

I had it in my thigh muscles.

Wasn't there something they could do?

There was plenty they could do,

if they'd made the right diagnosis.

But the only symptom was pain.

Not many people get to experience
muscle death.

Did you think you were dying?

I hoped I was dying.

So you hide in your office,
refuse to see patients,

because you don't like the way
people look at you.

You feel cheated by life,

so now you're gonna get even
with the world.

But you want me to fight this.

Why?

What makes you think
I'm so much better than you?

What?
You're scared you'll turn into me?

I just want to die
with a little dignity.

There's no such thing.

Our bodies break down.

Sometimes when we're 90.

Sometimes before we're even born.

But it always happens,
and there's never any dignity in it.

I don't care if you can walk,
see, wipe your own ass.

It's always ugly. Always.

We can live with dignity.
We can't die with it.

No treatment.

Maybe we can get a court order,
override her wishes,

claim she doesn't have the capacity
to make this decision.

But she does.

CAMERON: But we could claim
that the illness

made her mentally incompetent, right?

FOREMAN: A pretty common result.

That didn't happen here.

He's not gonna do it.

She's not just a file to him anymore.

He respects her.

So because you respect her,
you're going to let her die?

I solved the case. My work is done.

HOUSE: Patients always want proof.

We're not making cars here.

We don't give guarantees.

I think we can prove it's a worm.

It's noninvasive. It's safe.

I'm not completely sure, but...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the damn idea?

Have you ever seen a worm
under an X-ray?

A regular, old, no-contrast,
hundred-year-old-technology X-ray?

They light up like shotgun pellets,
just like on a contrast MRI.

Which is the same thing as a CT scan,

which we did, which proved nothing.

The worm's cyst is the same density
as the cerebrospinal fluid.

We're not gonna see anything
in her head.

But Chase is right.

He's right. We should X-ray her.

But we don't X-ray her brain.

We X-ray her leg.

Worms love thigh muscle.

If she's got one in her head,
I guarantee you there's one in her leg.

Hold still, Rebecca.

CHASE: This here

is a worm larva.

So, if it's in my leg,
it's in my brain?

Are you looking for a guarantee?

It's there.
Probably been there 6 to 10 years.

Do I have more?

Probably.

It's good news.

What do we do now?

Now we get you better.

Albendazole.

- Two pills?
- Yeah.

Every day, for at least a month,
with a meal.

- Two pills?
- Yeah.

Possible side effects
include abdominal pain,

nausea, headaches, dizziness,
fever and hair loss.

We'll probably make you
keep taking the pills

even if you get every one of those.

(WOMAN CHATTERS OVER PA)

Why did you hire me?

Does it matter?

Kind of hard to work for a guy
who doesn't respect you.

- Why?
- Is that rhetorical?

No. It just seems that way 'cause
you can't think of an answer.

Does it make a difference what I think?

I'm a jerk. The only thing that matters
is what you think.

Can you do the job?

You hired a black guy
because he had a juvenile record.

No. It wasn't a racial thing.

I didn't see a black guy.

I just saw a doctor
with a juvenile record.

I hired Chase 'cause
his dad made a phone call.

I hired you because
you are extremely pretty.

You hired me to get into my pants?

I can't believe that
that would shock you.

It's also not what I said.

No, I hired you because you look good.

It's like having a nice piece of art
in the lobby.

I was in the top of my class.

But not the top.

I did an internship at the Mayo Clinic.

Yeah. You were a very good applicant.

But not the best.

Would that upset you? Really?

To think that you were hired because of
some genetic gift of beauty

instead of some genetic gift of
intelligence?

I worked very hard to get where I am.

But you didn't have to.

People choose the paths
that gain them the greatest rewards

for the least amount of effort. That's
a law of nature, and you defied it.

That's why I hired you.

You could have married rich.
You could have been a model.

You could have just shown up
and people would have given you stuff.

Lots of stuff.

But you didn't.

You worked
your stunning little ass off.

Am I supposed to be flattered?

Gorgeous women do not go
to medical school,

unless they're as damaged as
they are beautiful.

Were you abused by a family member?

- No.
- Sexually assaulted?

No!

But you are damaged, aren't you?

(PAGER BEEPS)

I have to go.

I followed her.

Oh.

I couldn't stop thinking about what
that doctor said.

I told you not to listen to him.
He's an idiot.

I was orange!

I don't want to know
what you found out.

You don't care?

I'm your doctor.

You've been good to me and good
to this hospital. Of course I care.

But I don't see how this conversation
can end well for me.

Either your wife is having an affair,

or she's not having an affair,

and you have come here because
you rightly think I should fire him.

But I can't.
Even if it costs me your money.

The son of a bitch is
the best doctor we have.

Feeling any better?

I can't complain.

As you know,
the hospital has certain rules.

And as you also know,
we tend to ignore them.

But I think this one's gonna be
a little obvious

unless we get your help.

If anyone asks,
you have 11 daughters and 5 sons.

Hi! Look who's here!

It's so good to see you guys.
I missed you.

This is for me?

It's beautiful.

Oh, I love you guys.

I wanted to thank Dr. House,
but he never visited again.

He cured you. You didn't cure him.

Okay, I want a hug and a kiss from
every single one of you!

Get up here right now!

There.

MAN ON TV: Hold on.

WOMAN ON TV: She's converted.

You said she was your cousin.

Why would you lie?

It got you to take the case.

You lied to a friend
to save a stranger.

You don't think
that's kind of screwed up?

You've never lied to me?

I never lie.

Oh, right.

MAN ON TV: Why do we do this?

WOMAN ON TV: Because we're doctors.

If we make mistakes, people die.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Dr. House? You have a patient.

He says he needs a refill.

Got change for a dollar?