Homicide: Life on the Street (1993–1999): Season 1, Episode 1 - Gone for Goode - full transcript
The team investigate a woman who appears to be murdering her husbands for the insurance money.
If I could just find this
damn thing, I could go home.
- Life is a mystery, just accept it.
- You're in your own world, Crosetti.
The quest for life. Not finding, looking.
I read about it in this book.
- When did you ever read a book?
- I read this book.
You said you read a book, but you didn't
read nothing but an excerpt.
You never find
what you're looking for
because the whole point is looking for it.
If you find it, it defeats its own purpose.
You're in your own little world because
no one wants to live there with you.
You explain everything,
but there are things you can't.
You know what you are?
You are a little fat-haired guinea.
- A little Italian salami-brain.
- You'll regret that.
Man, let's look for this
projectile tomorrow.
- All right.
- All right, man, what have you got?
We found this wallet on him.
His name's Keith Becker.
Mr Becker ducked,
but he didn't duck good enough.
- Died ducking.
- That girl with him when he got shot?
Yeah, Dollie Whithers.
Dollie Whithers?
She was unconscious.
An ambulance took her to hospital.
Maybe she saw who did it.
A man with a gun wanted them dead.
It ain't no mystery.
Do you know what a mystery is? A
mystery is when a man goes to the john
he always brings something to read.
But a female
never brings anything to read.
This man either had his
drugs stolen, or he was stealing drugs.
Yeah, let's see if she can explain.
That's the problem with this job,
it's got nothing to do with life.
Excuse me, hi!
This is Homicide?
Homicide? We work for God.
I'm looking for a Lieutenant Giardello.
Nice pen set.
Keen detective instinct.
...unsolved cases.
- It could be misconstrued that way.
No, no, I won't.
Excuse me,
but where did you say that was?
There's a lack of confidence
in the detective handling this case.
No. It could be misconstrued
that way. Absolutely not.
Lieutenant Giardello, I'm Tim Bayliss.
Hey, I'm Giardello.
Come on, I'll show you around.
The box where we match wits
against the city's master criminals.
There's one of the masters.
The fishbowl. Wherein said criminals
reflect on the error of their ways.
The board. Open cases are in red,
closed cases are in black.
You look up there,
you know exactly where you stand.
About how many things in life
can you say that?
- It looks like a lot of open cases.
- You're young to be in Homicide.
Yeah, I spent the last two years
on the Mayor's security detail.
We'll get you to fill out all the papers,
get you partnered up.
We work partners here.
One's primary, one's secondary.
Let me just say something, sir.
This is where I've always wanted to be.
- Thinking cops, not a gun - this.
- That's very poetic.
Hey, Gee! Where's Munch?
Felicia wants to know.
The double stabbing.
The Billard Brothers.
He's over at Hopkins
with Bolander and a suspect.
Munch, Homicide. This the guy?
Let me see your hand.
- I cut it on a fence.
- You want this one?
You think I can't handle it, Stanley?
I'm overwhelmed, I'm out of my depth
I'm going to make a phone call.
- What fence?
- Corner at DeMoins gas.
That's a schoolyard over there,
let's go and see.
- See what?
- Well, they'll be some blood, right?
The brothers are in the morgue with
more holes than an Augusta National.
I'm thinking in some place, in the middle
of that action, the knife got slippery.
- OK, I was there. But I didn't kill them.
- Who killed them?
- A Jamaican killed them.
- A Jamaican?
- What's his name?
- I don't know.
But he's the one that cut me. He
said he'd kill me too if I said anything.
- When did he tell you that?
- When he drove me to the hospital.
So this unnamed mystery
Jake kills both Billard brothers,
cuts your hand, drives you to Hopkins,
and swears you to secrecy?
- That's why I lied about the fence.
- OK, now I get it.
You're saving your good lies
for some smarter cop.
I'm just a doughnut in the on-deck circle.
Wait till the real guy gets here.
Wait for that big guy to come back.
I'm just the secretary.
I'm just Montel Williams,
you want to talk to Larry King.
I'm telling the truth!
I've been in murder police for ten years.
If you lie to me, lie to me with respect.
Now, what is it? Is it my shoes? Is it my
haircut? Got a problem with my haircut?
Don't ever again lie to me like I'm Montel
Williams. I'm not Montel Williams.
I am not Montel Williams!
Yeah, it's OK. Call back, yeah.
- Who's Montel Williams?
- I'm not Montel Williams.
Do you hear me?
I'm not Montel Williams.
Is this Montel Williams
from your neighbourhood?
I don't know. So, how old's this guy?
You and Mr Becker
were outside the liquor store
where you both got shot?
- They just started shooting.
- Who?
Did you get a look at who shot you?
Do you know who wanted
to shoot your boyfriend?
'Dr Forest, dial 118, please.'
She's in, she's out.
You wanna wait?
Yeah, why not, man.
You look pitiful, man. Are you all right?
I couldn't sleep last night.
My mind was racing.
All night long, even when I was sleeping,
I was dreaming about it.
What?
There were two people with Lincoln
the night he was shot.
There was John Wilkes Booth,
and there was a Major Henry Rathbone.
How come we don't hear
about this Henry Rathbone?
You think Major Henry Rathbone
is the guy capped Lincoln?
- It just doesn't hang together.
- Booth broke his leg trying to get away.
The President was shot,
what would you do?
This kept you up all night?
Who was the doctor
who set Booth's leg?
It was Doctor Samuel Mudd.
One hundred years later,
who gets passed over for anchorman?
Roger Mudd!
It's his great-great grandson.
What does that say about
the power structure in this country?
Excuse me, I didn't notice, was Abraham
Lincoln on the board this morning?
All our lives we've been taught
in the history books
that Booth shot Lincoln.
Now, if that's not true,
there's nothing that's true.
I'm doing my job,
I'm building up my cases,
and the whole foundation's rotten.
You've got that right.
'Doctor Kravitz,
you have a visitor in the main lobby.
'Doctor Kravitz,
a visitor in the main lobby.'
- You want it?
- All I need is another open case.
On the other hand, this could be
closed by the end of the day.
- It could get me out of a hole.
- I'll take it.
- You got a feeling about this?
- Let me take it.
It's doesn't matter
if I have an open case.
Be straight with me.
Is this it? You feel the magic?
I'm offering. You want me to take it?
I'll be the primary.
- Take it.
- Howard. Homicide.
The whole neighbourhood
is talking about it.
There is a dead body
in Jempson's basement.
I figure I better get over here
before he starts blaming it on me,
like everything else he does.
- Can you identify the body?
- Henry Biddle!
The bill collector
for Little Pages?
- That's him.
- You know this guy?
You know Little Pages?
I bought a divino.
- What's a divino?
- It's like a couch.
- Like a sectional?
- With a bed in it.
- A Davenport.
- No, not a davenport.
A divino. They were having a sale.
18 dollars a month.
- A divino.
- A divino.
A divino!
Your husband owns this house or rents?
He's a deadbeat. Ex-husband!
He's a fiend and no way
is he wrapping me up in this thing.
His name is Gerry Jempson.
J-E-M-P-S-O-N.
Do you guys want to
look around for some clues?
- I think the basement's a big clue.
- We still have to find Jerry.
Hello? Detective Howard
of the Homicide Unit. Who's this?
- It's Jerry.
- You're amazing.
Jerry, when can we meet?
Detective Munch.
You like the sound of it, don't you?
- Detective John Munch.
- Quit staring at me.
I'm not staring at you.
It's your conscience.
I'm reminding you that the
Jenny Goode case remains unsolved.
Didn't I solve Nina Como?
Didn't I get my man Claybon?
Excuse me, hi!
Where can I get a coffee?
- The first floor.
- First floor. Thank you.
OK, you're welcome.
- There's coffee in there.
- That's our coffee.
Look, forget Jenny Goode.
It's been three months, it's over.
- Detective Munch.
- Jenny Goode is pended.
Shiner put her death down
as a road kill. It's over.
Shiner is a coroner.
His job is cause of death.
What does his for murder or not murder?
It's not even on the board.
Don't we have enough to worry about?
Detective Munch.
De-tec-tive Munch.
You think I need your respect,
but I don't.
It is known. My bunkies back in the
district know what kind of cop I am.
Jenny Goode was murdered, John.
Someone has to speak for her.
I can't believe
you're tearing that up.
I lied to protect my girlfriend's family.
They live downstairs from me.
It must be one of them that did it.
I'm telling the truth.
You don't believe me?
I liked the Jamaican story better.
It had an Elmore Leonard quality.
I'm going to get some more paper.
See what you can come up with. OK?
Yeah, Dollie Whithers.
She's conscious? She's alert?
- What's with the ties he wears?
- Who?
- Pembleton.
- Enough already with Pembleton.
A pink tie with a polo player on it.
A polo player!
This is a black homicide cop!
Like you wearing a tie with a brain on it.
My wife buys my ties.
What's that supposed to mean?
- Forget about it.
- You let the guy get away with murder.
Gee let's everybody
get away with murder.
I talked to the hospital. She woke up.
The guy thinks he's smart
because he listens to Emmylou Harris.
Who are we talking about, Pembleton?
He has that New York attitude.
- It's like that black and white movie.
- What movie?
The black and white movie
with Gary Cooper.
- "Pride Of The Yankees"?
- No, with Grace Kelly.
- "High Noon".
- "High Noon"!
- You're a salami-brain, you know that?
- You're gonna regret that.
The reason why Pembleton goes out
by himself is because he likes to.
Gary Cooper went out by himself
because no one would go with him.
What does "Pride Of The Yankees"
have to do with it?
- I don't know! You brought it up.
- I brought up "High Noon".
What does "High Noon"
have to do with New York?
"Pride Of The Yankees",
that's New York.
Who's the wife
in "Pride Of The Yankees"?
All I'm saying is
Pembleton doesn't have a partner.
So we listen to this so you can prove
that Pembleton doesn't have a partner?
He's got to pull his weight.
You gotta say something.
You be his partner.
I want Howard with the new guy anyway.
- Wait a minute. This is decided?
- I'm not partnering with Pembleton.
You don't like orders?
Learn the guitar.
You are a member
of a police department.
That means you just peed off
a guy with a gun.
Wait! What about the check?!
That whole thing was a pretext
not to pay the check. He always does it.
- You know the way you squeeze a buck.
- You're gonna regret that!
- He's always doing that.
- Oh, man!
'How old would you say? '
'Can't tell till we flip her.'
'It doesn't look like a robbery.'
'Jenny Goode was murdered.
Someone has to speak for her.
'I'll tell you what my first question is... '
'Where's her other sandal? '
- Frank Pembleton.
- Hello, Gee.
This is a homicide office.
Did you get lost?
- I hear you've become a yenta.
- Felton and you need partners.
Howard?
You don't want to see me put Felton
with this new guy, do you?
A partner is the last thing
I need the way I work.
Maybe the way you work
is why you need a partner.
I think you need lecithin,
it builds the memory.
If you look on the board you'll see
a lot of black under my name.
You need to be more of a team player.
Team player! That's the squad talking.
You know what that's all about.
This isn't a black thing,
this is a blue thing. Blue!
Gee, a bunch of guys running round
solving suicides is a waste of my time.
The bosses upstairs want to see
that something is getting done.
Nothing is getting done.
- Nothing!
- So they kick you and you kick me?
No. Look at it this way.
Now you can kick Felton.
- Life is amazing.
- Really?
This must be a mistake.
- I'm going on a call with Pembleton?
- You're right. It's a mistake.
Pembleton only handles big
investigations. This is just a dead guy.
See what happens
when I come into the office?
Imagine!
Handling a routine call with Pembleton.
I'm slumming.
Oh, man!
Someone forgot to write down
the parking space?
Who took the car out last?
It's on the back of the card.
- I did. I forgot.
- So I was right.
This is a big investigation -
to find Pembleton's car.
Pembleton is on special detail again.
Find Pembleton's car.
You know how it is, they all look alike.
Let's go upstairs
and get another one.
That's exactly the kind
of catch you are, isn't it?
We're not going to check every car.
I have a method to find this car,
and I'm going to find this car.
Go upstairs, go ahead.
Because I sure as hell didn't invite you.
That's exactly what you want me to do.
That's why I'm staying right here.
Suit yourself.
Your Ionely days are over, pal.
I'm staying right here.
A bar with a German name,
brain dead witnesses.
- Hagens, is that German?
- Irish.
He either had a moustache,
or he didn't have a moustache.
Rick or Ray. He was driving black 280Z.
A $60,000 custom motor
with gold wing doors
that may or may not have had
a flaming eagle on the hood.
But they all clearly remember that
his uncle had a bar with a German name.
Do you
all remember long blond hair?
Great,
we could arrest Axel Rose.
Who is Montel Williams?
He's from Baltimore.
He's got his own talk show.
A guy from Baltimore has got his
own talk show? How did he do that?
Connections.
That's how it works in that business.
Did you pull the ident photos
on the suspects?
German sounding... Adolf Hitler Bar.
How does that work for you?
Take the driver's names down to the first
floor and match them with the photo files.
I admit it's a long way to the first floor.
I will get the ident photos.
What do I know? I'm just
a poor white boy from Hampden.
There's plenty of red ink
under your name too.
- What does it prove?
- I'm not going upstairs.
I'll hotwire one for you.
- Just say it. Take your free shot, say it!
- Say what?
"I don't like being with that nigger."
- This is insanity.
- But you didn't deny it.
The way you dress,
who even knows you're black?
You think I'm stupid? You think
I don't know what you say to others?
There is a body decomposing
right now at the Westpoint Motel.
You resent me because everyday
I prove that you are no better than me.
That makes your world less
understandable than it already is.
I resent you because when you walk in
the squad room my phone weighs a ton.
You won't get another car,
and you think that makes you special.
I'm stuck in a stinking hot garage
because you have got to find THAT car.
- I am not going upstairs!
- Explain to me why?
Because what if it's the next one?
- Don't you understand anything?
- Hey, Frank!
Hey, what's up?
What if it's not the next one?
It's the next one!
There's another garage on the other side
of the building we haven't checked yet!
Look, if you want to partner with me,
you do it my way.
You believe that someone was trying
to kill you, and not Mr Becker?
All I know is that if I had $5,000
I could get out of it.
But instead of $5,000,
what I got is you.
What do you mean, if you had $5,000?
Aunt Calpurnia told me it would take
$5,000 to protect me from getting killed.
That's from the compensation
from the last time.
- Last time?
- I got my throat cut.
- $5,000 is gone. I gotta live, you know.
- Against all odds, I'd say.
Some guy came and slashed your throat
and you got $5,000 from the
state crime victims compensation?
Then someone else came along
and shot you
because you didn't have
$5,000 to give to your aunt?
I got shot in the head another time
for nothing. The bullet's still in there.
I could tell her to take the money
from the life insurance,
but by then I'm already dead.
What life insurance?
Miss Whithers, is your aunt
the beneficiary of the life insurance?
She says you gotta prepare
for the unexpected.
She says, "Look at the tragedy
I got in my life with my husbands."
"Life is a vale of tears"
is what she calls it.
- How many husbands has she had?
- Five.
- Five husbands?
- She's had a lot of tragedy.
- A LOT of tragedy.
- She's... had life insurance on them?
- Thank the Lord.
- Praise God!
Praise Him.
Jerry Jempson never showed. We'll
check out his favourite drug corners.
- What's going on?
- Ask him.
- It's close, I can smell it.
- You're a blood hound, Frank.
- Somebody forgot the number?
- I don't want to talk about it.
Bayliss tells me he's fresh
from the Mayor's security detail.
The wagging tail
of the political favour, huh?
I'd say three months before
he proves himself an absolute hump.
- I was on the SWAT team.
- Yeah? What did you do?
Drills. That's what SWAT teams do -
rope climbing!
It's called "repelling".
"Repelling"? Thin blue line between us
and the terrorist invasion of Baltimore?
We had plenty of calls.
There's blood in the water.
You've ever seen a dead guy?
I didn't think so.
Frank, forget about the car. We'll take
the rookie to see his first dead guy.
We investigate this Becker
shooting and find the bullet
was meant for Dollie
cos her aunt's got insurance on her,
and may have killed her husband's?
Forget about it.
She didn't even get a gravestone,
didn't wanna spend the money.
Do an autopsy, we know it's poison.
We think Miss Church
killed her husband for the insurance.
- The Reverend?
- Her husband.
- She's buried a few of them.
- She's a regular here.
Her last husband.
The Reverend Church.
Buried without a stone over him.
The woman throws around nickels
like manhole covers.
It's like very name in this place
is an old case of mine.
Do you know her niece? Dollie Whithers.
I saw her at the funeral,
her throat was cut.
Before that,
she had a bullet in her head.
She caught another bullet.
You'll need an atom bomb
to get her in here.
What's that?
That's the top.
That's the top of the box.
Pull that out, don't mess with it.
- That's a cheap casket.
- Styrofoam. Buried like a hamburger.
I could have put him
in stainless steal for $2,200.
- Find that for less than $6,000.
- Tell him to hurry up.
Hurry up! I could have put him
in solid cherry for $18,000.
Try and find that for less than $4,000.
He looks a little small, like a prune.
Doesn't he look heavier in the picture?
Nobody stays fat down there.
You don't know what it's like,
to lose a daughter is bad enough,
but not to know what happened...
Anything you forgot to mention to us?
Any names of friends, friends of friends?
We've been wracking our brains
since the day we saw you.
When was that? Three months ago?
Did you find a diary? A matchbook?
A piece of paper with a phone number?
I just can't believe anyone
would want to kill Jenny.
Honestly, I can't think of a stone
we've left unturned.
- We got the word out and everything.
- You got the word out?
That the police were looking
for someone with a black sports car,
maybe it has Jenny's
missing sandal in it.
Did I say something wrong?
If I killed your daughter
and heard the police were looking
for a black car, how long do you think
it would be before I ditched it?
We were just trying to help.
There's a principle at work here.
This is trying to find someone
who doesn't want to be found.
It's not like we'd heard from you,
or anything.
Grandma,
do you want to look at my picture?
Honey, the police are here.
Why don't you go and play?
Are they going to bring
my mummy back?
I like the way he's laying.
There's no sign of struggle.
There's no trauma, bullet holes,
knife wounds, bruises or contusions.
Robert Hempsted Burger, 65 years old.
He drives in once a week to sleep with
whatever he can get for $20.
At 65,
he gets the senior citizens discount.
The desk man found him.
You wanna talk to him?
- Yeah, in a sec, thanks.
- OK.
The blood under the nose
could just be from the decomp.
He could have been strangled.
There would be haemorrhaging
in the eyes from the strangulation.
Who's case is this?
He's a fat guy, he's 65.
It could just be a heart attack.
It's murder. Where are the lab techs?
We can pull prints off his glasses.
If somebody killed him,
they did a lousy job of robbing him.
- It's a murder.
- How come his wallet's still here?
How come his car isn't?
Frank, we're going
to look for Jerry Jempson. OK?
Yeah, OK.
Yeah, leave the rookie with me.
- Call in and get me a car?
- You bet.
You couldn't be
much worse than Feltham.
- What car was Mr Becker driving?
- A T-Bird. White.
- What year?
- A new one.
- See anybody with him?
- Just the boy.
- What boy?
- Johnny.
He went down
and lived in the country with him.
The same boy, since January.
Why don't we just arrest Mrs Church?
Because I want a confession and I'm not
bringing her in until I get what I need.
I want this to be over with.
If she's killed five husbands,
she's going to be tough to crack.
Impossible! She didn't kill five husbands.
- We'll have to dig up all five of them.
- Oh, mother!
It's like a traffic jam in here.
Why don't you look at the bright side?
We've got five dead husbands
and Becker.
Aunt Calpurnia is gonna
drive our class rate up to 60% .
- We'll be heroes.
- Don't talk like that.
You act like you've
never seen a dead body.
It's different. You flip them over,
take their picture, bring them here.
- It's not the same as digging is.
- It's their final repose.
- Disrupt that and it breaks...
- We have a problem.
- You dug up the wrong guy.
- How did they know?
Because they found a bracelet
that said Eugene Bonaparte.
That's how come they knew.
They did the autopsy
before they found the ID bracelet.
- You know what an autopsy is?
- I know. They dug him out like a canoe.
It is bad enough
when you do it on the right man.
- He ain't in the right place.
- Now you're getting somewhere!
What I mean is we're at the right place,
but he ain't where he's supposed to be.
OK, let me just ask you something.
If we go to where Eugene Bonaparte
is supposed to be,
you think we'll dig up the reverend?
- Maybe.
- Why? They died a month apart.
Maybe not.
You don't know where he is, do you?
The man is lost.
This man was entrusted to you
for his eternal rest.
- Eternal rest.
- He's a man of God.
Now he's out there somewhere,
under the mud, in a hole. He's lost.
We'll find you someone else.
How many do you need?
- I thought I put you with the new guy.
- Pembleton's with the new guy.
- Why can't I control my own men?
- It's better to be feared than loved.
I won't remind you again.
A tie is the dress code.
- You're not working Narcotics.
- Without a tie you get no respect.
You don't deserve to be respected.
Jerry Jempson has disappeared,
face it, the no-hitter is over.
Detective Howard, I'm Jerry Jempson.
You're not on anything, are you Jerry?
- No, ma'am. That's a stupid question.
- Stupid question?
- It will be, yeah.
- Clean as a whistle?
Yeah.
We had an appointment earlier.
Why didn't you show up?
I lost my appointment book.
Why was a dead body
found in your basement?
Is that what that smell was?
You remember
talking to me this morning?
Yes. You look better in person.
I was surprised when I saw you.
You've ever met Henry Biddle?
It rhymes with fiddle, ha? Biddle, yeah...
I think I... yeah,
well, it sounds Biddle... no.
I'm sorry... no. Biddle... no.
Well, can I think about that question,
because I'm not sure about it?
Biddle, Biddle, Biddle, Biddle...
No, no Biddle.
- You have a nephew named Rick?
- No.
- Ray?
- No.
Do you know anybody
named Rick or Ray?
- No.
- He drives a black 280Z?
- No.
- Know a girl called Jenny Goode?
Red head?
- Do I know a red head?
- Can you give me a knockwurst?
- You have to pay for it.
- He'll pay for mine too.
I'll confess, would that satisfy you?
I did it, OK? It's over, I confess.
I had a blackout and now
it comes back to me. I was driving.
I killed Jenny Goode, my tyres
hydroplaned over her. Case closed.
I did it. Cancel the knockwurst,
I'm going to the gas chamber.
You think we can get the death penalty?
It's a death penalty
when you smoke in the car.
You're not going to smoke
while we're eating?
- It's still got it's cover on.
- So you practice safe smoking?
Long blonde hair...
Anybody have long blond hair anymore?
You pulled the ident photos?
Yeah, I pulled the photos.
I'm pulling them now.
Detective Munch...
It's similarly long, I guess.
Good morning.
- Give me a quarter.
- Give you a quarter?
If I give you a quarter, will you
leave me alone about Jenny Goode?
It's with mixed emotions
that I report that you've acquired
the odour of a dedicated police.
- Thank you.
- Find anything?
One guy's got a black 280Z with
front end damage, but he has brown hair.
Another guy has long blond hair,
but he has a tan coloured Trans Am.
But there's one that keeps coming back.
This is from two weeks after the murder.
What is wrong with this photograph?
Black hair?
Blond eyebrows.
- Detective Munch, that is police work!
- His hair's dyed.
Why would a motorhead, two weeks
after the murder, dye his hair black?
- Let's go shake his tree.
- Absolutely.
Detective Munch.
- You ran her down, Jimmy.
- I was drinking. I don't remember.
Don't lie to me.
She was run over in that lot.
I thought I hit the kerb,
I thought I hit the kerb.
There's no kerb in that lot.
I was drinking.
You picked her up, paid for her drinks,
maybe smoked some dope.
Then you drove to the lot to have sex,
then she said she wanted to go home.
You struggled, she lost her sandal
when she got out of the car,
then you ran her down.
I don't remember.
I was drinking.
We found red hair in the undercarriage.
I was drinking. I was drinking.
I was drinking, I was drinking...
...I was drinking.
- Where's the Coroner?
- You're not supposed to say "Coroner".
You should say "Medical Examiner".
We're gonna have a conversation
about the Jenny Goode road kill,
which just happens to be a murder.
I may wake up everybody in this morgue.
You don't say "morgue", sir.
It's "medical examiner's office".
- Hey!
- What?
What's a lady like you
doing in a place like this?
Looking for Mr Right.
"To Lieutenant Giardello,
from Detective Steve Crosetti.
"Subject: Ethnic slurs/comments
made by Detective Meldrick Lewis."
- I told you you would regret that.
- You can't send that.
You give that to Gee,
that makes it official.
"It's something I've
never faced in this department."
That's not funny.
"On the above date Lewis
made verbal attacks on my ancestry."
- What did you say?
- I called him a salami-head.
"My parent's were from Italy
"and my father played
the homely trade of butcher,
"which made the salami-brain
remark particularly offensive."
- You need a hyphen with "salami-brain".
- You can't send that.
When did the Italians become Italians?
Gee is not going to notice the joke.
He's got no sense of humour.
- Who says it's a joke?
- We go from Roman to Italian. When?
One day it's "Friends, Romans,
Countrymen", the next, "O, eh".
"Being of negligible
ancestry..." I like that, nice touch.
They take that stuff seriously.
That's like sexual harassment.
- That's my next memo.
- For Christ's sake.
- You like "shame" or chagrin"?
- Chagrin.
You can't insult an ethnic group
worse than the truth.
- Lay off the Irish.
- The Irish.
A million people died in the Potato
Famine. Ireland is an Island.
An Island, by definition,
is surrounded by fish.
Millions died because
they didn't like fish.
Potatoes are nothing,
it's not even the main course.
Give me that thing. Give me it!
The memo goes here,
the memo goes in.
- How are you doing?
- Hey. Give me a Boh.
- A glass of milk.
- Make mine a Club Soda.
So, do you think
we're going to catch that kid?
- What kid?
- The Burger murder.
You think it was the kid
that he picked up in the park?
The cars on the teletype,
we'll catch the kid with the car.
Why do you think he'd be riding that car
when it would be the easiest way
to link him to the murder.
I dunno.
Because crime makes you stupid.
Can I quote you on that?
OK, listen. I know everyone thinks
I'm here because of the Mayor,
but I went to the Mayor because of this.
Two years on the lake because I knew
it would get me to homicide.
Look, kid, I've got nothing against
you, but I don't need a partner.
- I don't want it, I don't need it.
- Not "it", me.
OK. I don't want you.
What do you observe
about the suspect, Detective?
Approximately 5"10', 1/50.
He's got scratches on his left cheek...
No, no, no. The suspect is asleep.
He's been in the room for four hours.
Rule number 4: A guilty man left
in the box alone, falls asleep.
Are there any other rules?
Yeah, uncooperative, too cooperative,
talks too much, talks too little,
blinks, stares, gets his story straight,
messes his story up.
There are no other rules -
it's an expression.
Yeah, I'm hip. So are you
going to interrogate him?
Interrogate him?
Yeah, I'm just saying that,
not a partner thing,
but when you interrogate him
I'd like to sit in.
Then what you'll witness
will not be an interrogation,
but an act of salesmanship.
As silver-tongue and thieving,
as ever moved used cars,
Florida swampland, or Bibles. But what
I am selling... is a long prison term
to a client who has
no genuine use for the product.
So that's a "yes".
Jonathan, my man!
We've got some
serious business to sort out.
- Can I have a cigarette?
- Give my friend a cigarette.
This is Detective Bayliss.
He lives up on Eager Street.
Right next to the gas chamber.
Have you got any Kools?
Before we get started,
let's get through this paperwork.
- Do you want to read that?
- I... I didn't do nothing.
Just read it out loud
so that I know you're reading it.
"You have the absolute right
to remain silent."
OK. Just put your initial
right next to that one.
"You have the right to talk with a lawyer
at any time, before any questioning,
"or before answering any questions."
OK, you understand all that.
Just make your initial next to that one.
This is out of ink.
- What if I want a lawyer?
- 'That's your constitutional right.
'You get up here
and call that lawyer.
- 'It looks like first-degree murder.'
- Get him, Frank. We need this one.
I...
You want a lawyer.
I'll get you one.
I walk out, the next face you'll see
is the State's Attorney
a three-piece suit with a licence to kill.
Listen, all I did was steal the car.
You guys want to arrest me,
arrest me. I never met this guy.
So why do you think we're here?
Huh?
The reason I'm here is to make sure
that you've got nothing to say,
before I write it all down.
You take a look around.
Go ahead, you take a good look.
This room is like a wall.
And at the top of that wall
is a small open window - a way out.
I am that window.
So what happened, huh?
What was it?
I'll tell you what it was. He got a seizure,
you got scared, and you ran out.
That's what it was.
You're wasting my time.
Yeah, he had a seizure.
So now you're talking.
OK, here's your rights form.
Go ahead, read that.
I am willing to answer
questions and don't want an attorney.
My decision to answer questions without
an attorney is voluntary on my part.
OK, go ahead and sign this.
So, you went to Westpoint Motel
with Burger?
Yeah, I was there.
- You were there when he died?
- He had the seizure.
A-ha.
He says that he was there,
alone in the hotel room with Burger...
...at the time of death.
He started shaking,
flapping his arms...
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny...
Burger was strangled, huh?
The autopsy report proves it.
You did a man's crime, son.
Now act like a man.
You strangled him. Go ahead and say it.
Say it, son.
Yeah, I strangled him.
OK.
It's gonna be all right.
I saw what you did in there.
That kid wanted a lawyer.
- Did he say it?
- Yeah.
I never heard him say,
"I want a lawyer."
- That was very clear.
- Well, that's the law.
The law says
that you give the man a chance.
- He had his chance.
- You tricked him into waiving his rights.
You tricked him. When does the autopsy
report prove that burger was strangled?
- You think he killed him?
- Yeah. That's not the point.
At trial, the lawyer will have him
on the stand saying,
"He changed his mind about the sex."
There's not a member of that jury
who won't think that Burger was a
dirty old man who got what was coming.
The State's attorney
will bargain it down to five years,
the kid will do a third of that,
and you think he didn't have a chance.
What would an innocent man
do with the same chance?
Is that a line
from your textbook, rookie?
Stay out of my face.
It's getting to me.
I wake up and checking my body
to see if there's a chalk outline.
You should see what we
went through at the cemetery today.
I could retire on half pension
and go into the dry wall business.
You retire? It's like saying
you'll be a ballerina. It ain't possible.
Last year, we had 325 cases
and solved three quarters.
This year we'll have 350 solved,
another three quarters.
You mow the lawn, the next week
you've gotta mow it again.
It's homicide. The one thing
this country is still good at.
Dry wall. You put up a dry wall and
you have a sense of accomplishment.
Let me tell you about a business.
The diaper business, that's a business.
- Diapers. Like diapers?
- Yeah.
Adult diapers. More adults
wear diapers than kids.
- That's a fact. Disposable diapers.
- No kidding.
Let me tell you how I got the idea.
Think mail order, right?
A discreet package, delivered direct.
Just the three of us, you can't loose.
This could be it.
This could be our ticket out.
Mail-order disposable diapers?
That's some sort of career?
Would you rather
bust your butt for a buck?
If you were a Supreme Court Justice
in the supermarket with diapers,
can you imagine the embarrassment?
What embarrassment? Madonna is
wearing diapers in that new photo book.
If that catches on
it could be the end of it.
Look at this.
That's what I've become. I'm just
an easy mark. I'm a fat old white man,
That's all I am, and this guy's trying...
I'll take care of this new-age mugger.
Neither rain nor snow, nor sleet...
Mike, if you kill him, he's mine.
We're police. Go rob somebody else.
You want it? Are you ready? Take it.
Detective Bayliss.
- Sir...
- Stand back, please.
Homicide.
damn thing, I could go home.
- Life is a mystery, just accept it.
- You're in your own world, Crosetti.
The quest for life. Not finding, looking.
I read about it in this book.
- When did you ever read a book?
- I read this book.
You said you read a book, but you didn't
read nothing but an excerpt.
You never find
what you're looking for
because the whole point is looking for it.
If you find it, it defeats its own purpose.
You're in your own little world because
no one wants to live there with you.
You explain everything,
but there are things you can't.
You know what you are?
You are a little fat-haired guinea.
- A little Italian salami-brain.
- You'll regret that.
Man, let's look for this
projectile tomorrow.
- All right.
- All right, man, what have you got?
We found this wallet on him.
His name's Keith Becker.
Mr Becker ducked,
but he didn't duck good enough.
- Died ducking.
- That girl with him when he got shot?
Yeah, Dollie Whithers.
Dollie Whithers?
She was unconscious.
An ambulance took her to hospital.
Maybe she saw who did it.
A man with a gun wanted them dead.
It ain't no mystery.
Do you know what a mystery is? A
mystery is when a man goes to the john
he always brings something to read.
But a female
never brings anything to read.
This man either had his
drugs stolen, or he was stealing drugs.
Yeah, let's see if she can explain.
That's the problem with this job,
it's got nothing to do with life.
Excuse me, hi!
This is Homicide?
Homicide? We work for God.
I'm looking for a Lieutenant Giardello.
Nice pen set.
Keen detective instinct.
...unsolved cases.
- It could be misconstrued that way.
No, no, I won't.
Excuse me,
but where did you say that was?
There's a lack of confidence
in the detective handling this case.
No. It could be misconstrued
that way. Absolutely not.
Lieutenant Giardello, I'm Tim Bayliss.
Hey, I'm Giardello.
Come on, I'll show you around.
The box where we match wits
against the city's master criminals.
There's one of the masters.
The fishbowl. Wherein said criminals
reflect on the error of their ways.
The board. Open cases are in red,
closed cases are in black.
You look up there,
you know exactly where you stand.
About how many things in life
can you say that?
- It looks like a lot of open cases.
- You're young to be in Homicide.
Yeah, I spent the last two years
on the Mayor's security detail.
We'll get you to fill out all the papers,
get you partnered up.
We work partners here.
One's primary, one's secondary.
Let me just say something, sir.
This is where I've always wanted to be.
- Thinking cops, not a gun - this.
- That's very poetic.
Hey, Gee! Where's Munch?
Felicia wants to know.
The double stabbing.
The Billard Brothers.
He's over at Hopkins
with Bolander and a suspect.
Munch, Homicide. This the guy?
Let me see your hand.
- I cut it on a fence.
- You want this one?
You think I can't handle it, Stanley?
I'm overwhelmed, I'm out of my depth
I'm going to make a phone call.
- What fence?
- Corner at DeMoins gas.
That's a schoolyard over there,
let's go and see.
- See what?
- Well, they'll be some blood, right?
The brothers are in the morgue with
more holes than an Augusta National.
I'm thinking in some place, in the middle
of that action, the knife got slippery.
- OK, I was there. But I didn't kill them.
- Who killed them?
- A Jamaican killed them.
- A Jamaican?
- What's his name?
- I don't know.
But he's the one that cut me. He
said he'd kill me too if I said anything.
- When did he tell you that?
- When he drove me to the hospital.
So this unnamed mystery
Jake kills both Billard brothers,
cuts your hand, drives you to Hopkins,
and swears you to secrecy?
- That's why I lied about the fence.
- OK, now I get it.
You're saving your good lies
for some smarter cop.
I'm just a doughnut in the on-deck circle.
Wait till the real guy gets here.
Wait for that big guy to come back.
I'm just the secretary.
I'm just Montel Williams,
you want to talk to Larry King.
I'm telling the truth!
I've been in murder police for ten years.
If you lie to me, lie to me with respect.
Now, what is it? Is it my shoes? Is it my
haircut? Got a problem with my haircut?
Don't ever again lie to me like I'm Montel
Williams. I'm not Montel Williams.
I am not Montel Williams!
Yeah, it's OK. Call back, yeah.
- Who's Montel Williams?
- I'm not Montel Williams.
Do you hear me?
I'm not Montel Williams.
Is this Montel Williams
from your neighbourhood?
I don't know. So, how old's this guy?
You and Mr Becker
were outside the liquor store
where you both got shot?
- They just started shooting.
- Who?
Did you get a look at who shot you?
Do you know who wanted
to shoot your boyfriend?
'Dr Forest, dial 118, please.'
She's in, she's out.
You wanna wait?
Yeah, why not, man.
You look pitiful, man. Are you all right?
I couldn't sleep last night.
My mind was racing.
All night long, even when I was sleeping,
I was dreaming about it.
What?
There were two people with Lincoln
the night he was shot.
There was John Wilkes Booth,
and there was a Major Henry Rathbone.
How come we don't hear
about this Henry Rathbone?
You think Major Henry Rathbone
is the guy capped Lincoln?
- It just doesn't hang together.
- Booth broke his leg trying to get away.
The President was shot,
what would you do?
This kept you up all night?
Who was the doctor
who set Booth's leg?
It was Doctor Samuel Mudd.
One hundred years later,
who gets passed over for anchorman?
Roger Mudd!
It's his great-great grandson.
What does that say about
the power structure in this country?
Excuse me, I didn't notice, was Abraham
Lincoln on the board this morning?
All our lives we've been taught
in the history books
that Booth shot Lincoln.
Now, if that's not true,
there's nothing that's true.
I'm doing my job,
I'm building up my cases,
and the whole foundation's rotten.
You've got that right.
'Doctor Kravitz,
you have a visitor in the main lobby.
'Doctor Kravitz,
a visitor in the main lobby.'
- You want it?
- All I need is another open case.
On the other hand, this could be
closed by the end of the day.
- It could get me out of a hole.
- I'll take it.
- You got a feeling about this?
- Let me take it.
It's doesn't matter
if I have an open case.
Be straight with me.
Is this it? You feel the magic?
I'm offering. You want me to take it?
I'll be the primary.
- Take it.
- Howard. Homicide.
The whole neighbourhood
is talking about it.
There is a dead body
in Jempson's basement.
I figure I better get over here
before he starts blaming it on me,
like everything else he does.
- Can you identify the body?
- Henry Biddle!
The bill collector
for Little Pages?
- That's him.
- You know this guy?
You know Little Pages?
I bought a divino.
- What's a divino?
- It's like a couch.
- Like a sectional?
- With a bed in it.
- A Davenport.
- No, not a davenport.
A divino. They were having a sale.
18 dollars a month.
- A divino.
- A divino.
A divino!
Your husband owns this house or rents?
He's a deadbeat. Ex-husband!
He's a fiend and no way
is he wrapping me up in this thing.
His name is Gerry Jempson.
J-E-M-P-S-O-N.
Do you guys want to
look around for some clues?
- I think the basement's a big clue.
- We still have to find Jerry.
Hello? Detective Howard
of the Homicide Unit. Who's this?
- It's Jerry.
- You're amazing.
Jerry, when can we meet?
Detective Munch.
You like the sound of it, don't you?
- Detective John Munch.
- Quit staring at me.
I'm not staring at you.
It's your conscience.
I'm reminding you that the
Jenny Goode case remains unsolved.
Didn't I solve Nina Como?
Didn't I get my man Claybon?
Excuse me, hi!
Where can I get a coffee?
- The first floor.
- First floor. Thank you.
OK, you're welcome.
- There's coffee in there.
- That's our coffee.
Look, forget Jenny Goode.
It's been three months, it's over.
- Detective Munch.
- Jenny Goode is pended.
Shiner put her death down
as a road kill. It's over.
Shiner is a coroner.
His job is cause of death.
What does his for murder or not murder?
It's not even on the board.
Don't we have enough to worry about?
Detective Munch.
De-tec-tive Munch.
You think I need your respect,
but I don't.
It is known. My bunkies back in the
district know what kind of cop I am.
Jenny Goode was murdered, John.
Someone has to speak for her.
I can't believe
you're tearing that up.
I lied to protect my girlfriend's family.
They live downstairs from me.
It must be one of them that did it.
I'm telling the truth.
You don't believe me?
I liked the Jamaican story better.
It had an Elmore Leonard quality.
I'm going to get some more paper.
See what you can come up with. OK?
Yeah, Dollie Whithers.
She's conscious? She's alert?
- What's with the ties he wears?
- Who?
- Pembleton.
- Enough already with Pembleton.
A pink tie with a polo player on it.
A polo player!
This is a black homicide cop!
Like you wearing a tie with a brain on it.
My wife buys my ties.
What's that supposed to mean?
- Forget about it.
- You let the guy get away with murder.
Gee let's everybody
get away with murder.
I talked to the hospital. She woke up.
The guy thinks he's smart
because he listens to Emmylou Harris.
Who are we talking about, Pembleton?
He has that New York attitude.
- It's like that black and white movie.
- What movie?
The black and white movie
with Gary Cooper.
- "Pride Of The Yankees"?
- No, with Grace Kelly.
- "High Noon".
- "High Noon"!
- You're a salami-brain, you know that?
- You're gonna regret that.
The reason why Pembleton goes out
by himself is because he likes to.
Gary Cooper went out by himself
because no one would go with him.
What does "Pride Of The Yankees"
have to do with it?
- I don't know! You brought it up.
- I brought up "High Noon".
What does "High Noon"
have to do with New York?
"Pride Of The Yankees",
that's New York.
Who's the wife
in "Pride Of The Yankees"?
All I'm saying is
Pembleton doesn't have a partner.
So we listen to this so you can prove
that Pembleton doesn't have a partner?
He's got to pull his weight.
You gotta say something.
You be his partner.
I want Howard with the new guy anyway.
- Wait a minute. This is decided?
- I'm not partnering with Pembleton.
You don't like orders?
Learn the guitar.
You are a member
of a police department.
That means you just peed off
a guy with a gun.
Wait! What about the check?!
That whole thing was a pretext
not to pay the check. He always does it.
- You know the way you squeeze a buck.
- You're gonna regret that!
- He's always doing that.
- Oh, man!
'How old would you say? '
'Can't tell till we flip her.'
'It doesn't look like a robbery.'
'Jenny Goode was murdered.
Someone has to speak for her.
'I'll tell you what my first question is... '
'Where's her other sandal? '
- Frank Pembleton.
- Hello, Gee.
This is a homicide office.
Did you get lost?
- I hear you've become a yenta.
- Felton and you need partners.
Howard?
You don't want to see me put Felton
with this new guy, do you?
A partner is the last thing
I need the way I work.
Maybe the way you work
is why you need a partner.
I think you need lecithin,
it builds the memory.
If you look on the board you'll see
a lot of black under my name.
You need to be more of a team player.
Team player! That's the squad talking.
You know what that's all about.
This isn't a black thing,
this is a blue thing. Blue!
Gee, a bunch of guys running round
solving suicides is a waste of my time.
The bosses upstairs want to see
that something is getting done.
Nothing is getting done.
- Nothing!
- So they kick you and you kick me?
No. Look at it this way.
Now you can kick Felton.
- Life is amazing.
- Really?
This must be a mistake.
- I'm going on a call with Pembleton?
- You're right. It's a mistake.
Pembleton only handles big
investigations. This is just a dead guy.
See what happens
when I come into the office?
Imagine!
Handling a routine call with Pembleton.
I'm slumming.
Oh, man!
Someone forgot to write down
the parking space?
Who took the car out last?
It's on the back of the card.
- I did. I forgot.
- So I was right.
This is a big investigation -
to find Pembleton's car.
Pembleton is on special detail again.
Find Pembleton's car.
You know how it is, they all look alike.
Let's go upstairs
and get another one.
That's exactly the kind
of catch you are, isn't it?
We're not going to check every car.
I have a method to find this car,
and I'm going to find this car.
Go upstairs, go ahead.
Because I sure as hell didn't invite you.
That's exactly what you want me to do.
That's why I'm staying right here.
Suit yourself.
Your Ionely days are over, pal.
I'm staying right here.
A bar with a German name,
brain dead witnesses.
- Hagens, is that German?
- Irish.
He either had a moustache,
or he didn't have a moustache.
Rick or Ray. He was driving black 280Z.
A $60,000 custom motor
with gold wing doors
that may or may not have had
a flaming eagle on the hood.
But they all clearly remember that
his uncle had a bar with a German name.
Do you
all remember long blond hair?
Great,
we could arrest Axel Rose.
Who is Montel Williams?
He's from Baltimore.
He's got his own talk show.
A guy from Baltimore has got his
own talk show? How did he do that?
Connections.
That's how it works in that business.
Did you pull the ident photos
on the suspects?
German sounding... Adolf Hitler Bar.
How does that work for you?
Take the driver's names down to the first
floor and match them with the photo files.
I admit it's a long way to the first floor.
I will get the ident photos.
What do I know? I'm just
a poor white boy from Hampden.
There's plenty of red ink
under your name too.
- What does it prove?
- I'm not going upstairs.
I'll hotwire one for you.
- Just say it. Take your free shot, say it!
- Say what?
"I don't like being with that nigger."
- This is insanity.
- But you didn't deny it.
The way you dress,
who even knows you're black?
You think I'm stupid? You think
I don't know what you say to others?
There is a body decomposing
right now at the Westpoint Motel.
You resent me because everyday
I prove that you are no better than me.
That makes your world less
understandable than it already is.
I resent you because when you walk in
the squad room my phone weighs a ton.
You won't get another car,
and you think that makes you special.
I'm stuck in a stinking hot garage
because you have got to find THAT car.
- I am not going upstairs!
- Explain to me why?
Because what if it's the next one?
- Don't you understand anything?
- Hey, Frank!
Hey, what's up?
What if it's not the next one?
It's the next one!
There's another garage on the other side
of the building we haven't checked yet!
Look, if you want to partner with me,
you do it my way.
You believe that someone was trying
to kill you, and not Mr Becker?
All I know is that if I had $5,000
I could get out of it.
But instead of $5,000,
what I got is you.
What do you mean, if you had $5,000?
Aunt Calpurnia told me it would take
$5,000 to protect me from getting killed.
That's from the compensation
from the last time.
- Last time?
- I got my throat cut.
- $5,000 is gone. I gotta live, you know.
- Against all odds, I'd say.
Some guy came and slashed your throat
and you got $5,000 from the
state crime victims compensation?
Then someone else came along
and shot you
because you didn't have
$5,000 to give to your aunt?
I got shot in the head another time
for nothing. The bullet's still in there.
I could tell her to take the money
from the life insurance,
but by then I'm already dead.
What life insurance?
Miss Whithers, is your aunt
the beneficiary of the life insurance?
She says you gotta prepare
for the unexpected.
She says, "Look at the tragedy
I got in my life with my husbands."
"Life is a vale of tears"
is what she calls it.
- How many husbands has she had?
- Five.
- Five husbands?
- She's had a lot of tragedy.
- A LOT of tragedy.
- She's... had life insurance on them?
- Thank the Lord.
- Praise God!
Praise Him.
Jerry Jempson never showed. We'll
check out his favourite drug corners.
- What's going on?
- Ask him.
- It's close, I can smell it.
- You're a blood hound, Frank.
- Somebody forgot the number?
- I don't want to talk about it.
Bayliss tells me he's fresh
from the Mayor's security detail.
The wagging tail
of the political favour, huh?
I'd say three months before
he proves himself an absolute hump.
- I was on the SWAT team.
- Yeah? What did you do?
Drills. That's what SWAT teams do -
rope climbing!
It's called "repelling".
"Repelling"? Thin blue line between us
and the terrorist invasion of Baltimore?
We had plenty of calls.
There's blood in the water.
You've ever seen a dead guy?
I didn't think so.
Frank, forget about the car. We'll take
the rookie to see his first dead guy.
We investigate this Becker
shooting and find the bullet
was meant for Dollie
cos her aunt's got insurance on her,
and may have killed her husband's?
Forget about it.
She didn't even get a gravestone,
didn't wanna spend the money.
Do an autopsy, we know it's poison.
We think Miss Church
killed her husband for the insurance.
- The Reverend?
- Her husband.
- She's buried a few of them.
- She's a regular here.
Her last husband.
The Reverend Church.
Buried without a stone over him.
The woman throws around nickels
like manhole covers.
It's like very name in this place
is an old case of mine.
Do you know her niece? Dollie Whithers.
I saw her at the funeral,
her throat was cut.
Before that,
she had a bullet in her head.
She caught another bullet.
You'll need an atom bomb
to get her in here.
What's that?
That's the top.
That's the top of the box.
Pull that out, don't mess with it.
- That's a cheap casket.
- Styrofoam. Buried like a hamburger.
I could have put him
in stainless steal for $2,200.
- Find that for less than $6,000.
- Tell him to hurry up.
Hurry up! I could have put him
in solid cherry for $18,000.
Try and find that for less than $4,000.
He looks a little small, like a prune.
Doesn't he look heavier in the picture?
Nobody stays fat down there.
You don't know what it's like,
to lose a daughter is bad enough,
but not to know what happened...
Anything you forgot to mention to us?
Any names of friends, friends of friends?
We've been wracking our brains
since the day we saw you.
When was that? Three months ago?
Did you find a diary? A matchbook?
A piece of paper with a phone number?
I just can't believe anyone
would want to kill Jenny.
Honestly, I can't think of a stone
we've left unturned.
- We got the word out and everything.
- You got the word out?
That the police were looking
for someone with a black sports car,
maybe it has Jenny's
missing sandal in it.
Did I say something wrong?
If I killed your daughter
and heard the police were looking
for a black car, how long do you think
it would be before I ditched it?
We were just trying to help.
There's a principle at work here.
This is trying to find someone
who doesn't want to be found.
It's not like we'd heard from you,
or anything.
Grandma,
do you want to look at my picture?
Honey, the police are here.
Why don't you go and play?
Are they going to bring
my mummy back?
I like the way he's laying.
There's no sign of struggle.
There's no trauma, bullet holes,
knife wounds, bruises or contusions.
Robert Hempsted Burger, 65 years old.
He drives in once a week to sleep with
whatever he can get for $20.
At 65,
he gets the senior citizens discount.
The desk man found him.
You wanna talk to him?
- Yeah, in a sec, thanks.
- OK.
The blood under the nose
could just be from the decomp.
He could have been strangled.
There would be haemorrhaging
in the eyes from the strangulation.
Who's case is this?
He's a fat guy, he's 65.
It could just be a heart attack.
It's murder. Where are the lab techs?
We can pull prints off his glasses.
If somebody killed him,
they did a lousy job of robbing him.
- It's a murder.
- How come his wallet's still here?
How come his car isn't?
Frank, we're going
to look for Jerry Jempson. OK?
Yeah, OK.
Yeah, leave the rookie with me.
- Call in and get me a car?
- You bet.
You couldn't be
much worse than Feltham.
- What car was Mr Becker driving?
- A T-Bird. White.
- What year?
- A new one.
- See anybody with him?
- Just the boy.
- What boy?
- Johnny.
He went down
and lived in the country with him.
The same boy, since January.
Why don't we just arrest Mrs Church?
Because I want a confession and I'm not
bringing her in until I get what I need.
I want this to be over with.
If she's killed five husbands,
she's going to be tough to crack.
Impossible! She didn't kill five husbands.
- We'll have to dig up all five of them.
- Oh, mother!
It's like a traffic jam in here.
Why don't you look at the bright side?
We've got five dead husbands
and Becker.
Aunt Calpurnia is gonna
drive our class rate up to 60% .
- We'll be heroes.
- Don't talk like that.
You act like you've
never seen a dead body.
It's different. You flip them over,
take their picture, bring them here.
- It's not the same as digging is.
- It's their final repose.
- Disrupt that and it breaks...
- We have a problem.
- You dug up the wrong guy.
- How did they know?
Because they found a bracelet
that said Eugene Bonaparte.
That's how come they knew.
They did the autopsy
before they found the ID bracelet.
- You know what an autopsy is?
- I know. They dug him out like a canoe.
It is bad enough
when you do it on the right man.
- He ain't in the right place.
- Now you're getting somewhere!
What I mean is we're at the right place,
but he ain't where he's supposed to be.
OK, let me just ask you something.
If we go to where Eugene Bonaparte
is supposed to be,
you think we'll dig up the reverend?
- Maybe.
- Why? They died a month apart.
Maybe not.
You don't know where he is, do you?
The man is lost.
This man was entrusted to you
for his eternal rest.
- Eternal rest.
- He's a man of God.
Now he's out there somewhere,
under the mud, in a hole. He's lost.
We'll find you someone else.
How many do you need?
- I thought I put you with the new guy.
- Pembleton's with the new guy.
- Why can't I control my own men?
- It's better to be feared than loved.
I won't remind you again.
A tie is the dress code.
- You're not working Narcotics.
- Without a tie you get no respect.
You don't deserve to be respected.
Jerry Jempson has disappeared,
face it, the no-hitter is over.
Detective Howard, I'm Jerry Jempson.
You're not on anything, are you Jerry?
- No, ma'am. That's a stupid question.
- Stupid question?
- It will be, yeah.
- Clean as a whistle?
Yeah.
We had an appointment earlier.
Why didn't you show up?
I lost my appointment book.
Why was a dead body
found in your basement?
Is that what that smell was?
You remember
talking to me this morning?
Yes. You look better in person.
I was surprised when I saw you.
You've ever met Henry Biddle?
It rhymes with fiddle, ha? Biddle, yeah...
I think I... yeah,
well, it sounds Biddle... no.
I'm sorry... no. Biddle... no.
Well, can I think about that question,
because I'm not sure about it?
Biddle, Biddle, Biddle, Biddle...
No, no Biddle.
- You have a nephew named Rick?
- No.
- Ray?
- No.
Do you know anybody
named Rick or Ray?
- No.
- He drives a black 280Z?
- No.
- Know a girl called Jenny Goode?
Red head?
- Do I know a red head?
- Can you give me a knockwurst?
- You have to pay for it.
- He'll pay for mine too.
I'll confess, would that satisfy you?
I did it, OK? It's over, I confess.
I had a blackout and now
it comes back to me. I was driving.
I killed Jenny Goode, my tyres
hydroplaned over her. Case closed.
I did it. Cancel the knockwurst,
I'm going to the gas chamber.
You think we can get the death penalty?
It's a death penalty
when you smoke in the car.
You're not going to smoke
while we're eating?
- It's still got it's cover on.
- So you practice safe smoking?
Long blonde hair...
Anybody have long blond hair anymore?
You pulled the ident photos?
Yeah, I pulled the photos.
I'm pulling them now.
Detective Munch...
It's similarly long, I guess.
Good morning.
- Give me a quarter.
- Give you a quarter?
If I give you a quarter, will you
leave me alone about Jenny Goode?
It's with mixed emotions
that I report that you've acquired
the odour of a dedicated police.
- Thank you.
- Find anything?
One guy's got a black 280Z with
front end damage, but he has brown hair.
Another guy has long blond hair,
but he has a tan coloured Trans Am.
But there's one that keeps coming back.
This is from two weeks after the murder.
What is wrong with this photograph?
Black hair?
Blond eyebrows.
- Detective Munch, that is police work!
- His hair's dyed.
Why would a motorhead, two weeks
after the murder, dye his hair black?
- Let's go shake his tree.
- Absolutely.
Detective Munch.
- You ran her down, Jimmy.
- I was drinking. I don't remember.
Don't lie to me.
She was run over in that lot.
I thought I hit the kerb,
I thought I hit the kerb.
There's no kerb in that lot.
I was drinking.
You picked her up, paid for her drinks,
maybe smoked some dope.
Then you drove to the lot to have sex,
then she said she wanted to go home.
You struggled, she lost her sandal
when she got out of the car,
then you ran her down.
I don't remember.
I was drinking.
We found red hair in the undercarriage.
I was drinking. I was drinking.
I was drinking, I was drinking...
...I was drinking.
- Where's the Coroner?
- You're not supposed to say "Coroner".
You should say "Medical Examiner".
We're gonna have a conversation
about the Jenny Goode road kill,
which just happens to be a murder.
I may wake up everybody in this morgue.
You don't say "morgue", sir.
It's "medical examiner's office".
- Hey!
- What?
What's a lady like you
doing in a place like this?
Looking for Mr Right.
"To Lieutenant Giardello,
from Detective Steve Crosetti.
"Subject: Ethnic slurs/comments
made by Detective Meldrick Lewis."
- I told you you would regret that.
- You can't send that.
You give that to Gee,
that makes it official.
"It's something I've
never faced in this department."
That's not funny.
"On the above date Lewis
made verbal attacks on my ancestry."
- What did you say?
- I called him a salami-head.
"My parent's were from Italy
"and my father played
the homely trade of butcher,
"which made the salami-brain
remark particularly offensive."
- You need a hyphen with "salami-brain".
- You can't send that.
When did the Italians become Italians?
Gee is not going to notice the joke.
He's got no sense of humour.
- Who says it's a joke?
- We go from Roman to Italian. When?
One day it's "Friends, Romans,
Countrymen", the next, "O, eh".
"Being of negligible
ancestry..." I like that, nice touch.
They take that stuff seriously.
That's like sexual harassment.
- That's my next memo.
- For Christ's sake.
- You like "shame" or chagrin"?
- Chagrin.
You can't insult an ethnic group
worse than the truth.
- Lay off the Irish.
- The Irish.
A million people died in the Potato
Famine. Ireland is an Island.
An Island, by definition,
is surrounded by fish.
Millions died because
they didn't like fish.
Potatoes are nothing,
it's not even the main course.
Give me that thing. Give me it!
The memo goes here,
the memo goes in.
- How are you doing?
- Hey. Give me a Boh.
- A glass of milk.
- Make mine a Club Soda.
So, do you think
we're going to catch that kid?
- What kid?
- The Burger murder.
You think it was the kid
that he picked up in the park?
The cars on the teletype,
we'll catch the kid with the car.
Why do you think he'd be riding that car
when it would be the easiest way
to link him to the murder.
I dunno.
Because crime makes you stupid.
Can I quote you on that?
OK, listen. I know everyone thinks
I'm here because of the Mayor,
but I went to the Mayor because of this.
Two years on the lake because I knew
it would get me to homicide.
Look, kid, I've got nothing against
you, but I don't need a partner.
- I don't want it, I don't need it.
- Not "it", me.
OK. I don't want you.
What do you observe
about the suspect, Detective?
Approximately 5"10', 1/50.
He's got scratches on his left cheek...
No, no, no. The suspect is asleep.
He's been in the room for four hours.
Rule number 4: A guilty man left
in the box alone, falls asleep.
Are there any other rules?
Yeah, uncooperative, too cooperative,
talks too much, talks too little,
blinks, stares, gets his story straight,
messes his story up.
There are no other rules -
it's an expression.
Yeah, I'm hip. So are you
going to interrogate him?
Interrogate him?
Yeah, I'm just saying that,
not a partner thing,
but when you interrogate him
I'd like to sit in.
Then what you'll witness
will not be an interrogation,
but an act of salesmanship.
As silver-tongue and thieving,
as ever moved used cars,
Florida swampland, or Bibles. But what
I am selling... is a long prison term
to a client who has
no genuine use for the product.
So that's a "yes".
Jonathan, my man!
We've got some
serious business to sort out.
- Can I have a cigarette?
- Give my friend a cigarette.
This is Detective Bayliss.
He lives up on Eager Street.
Right next to the gas chamber.
Have you got any Kools?
Before we get started,
let's get through this paperwork.
- Do you want to read that?
- I... I didn't do nothing.
Just read it out loud
so that I know you're reading it.
"You have the absolute right
to remain silent."
OK. Just put your initial
right next to that one.
"You have the right to talk with a lawyer
at any time, before any questioning,
"or before answering any questions."
OK, you understand all that.
Just make your initial next to that one.
This is out of ink.
- What if I want a lawyer?
- 'That's your constitutional right.
'You get up here
and call that lawyer.
- 'It looks like first-degree murder.'
- Get him, Frank. We need this one.
I...
You want a lawyer.
I'll get you one.
I walk out, the next face you'll see
is the State's Attorney
a three-piece suit with a licence to kill.
Listen, all I did was steal the car.
You guys want to arrest me,
arrest me. I never met this guy.
So why do you think we're here?
Huh?
The reason I'm here is to make sure
that you've got nothing to say,
before I write it all down.
You take a look around.
Go ahead, you take a good look.
This room is like a wall.
And at the top of that wall
is a small open window - a way out.
I am that window.
So what happened, huh?
What was it?
I'll tell you what it was. He got a seizure,
you got scared, and you ran out.
That's what it was.
You're wasting my time.
Yeah, he had a seizure.
So now you're talking.
OK, here's your rights form.
Go ahead, read that.
I am willing to answer
questions and don't want an attorney.
My decision to answer questions without
an attorney is voluntary on my part.
OK, go ahead and sign this.
So, you went to Westpoint Motel
with Burger?
Yeah, I was there.
- You were there when he died?
- He had the seizure.
A-ha.
He says that he was there,
alone in the hotel room with Burger...
...at the time of death.
He started shaking,
flapping his arms...
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny...
Burger was strangled, huh?
The autopsy report proves it.
You did a man's crime, son.
Now act like a man.
You strangled him. Go ahead and say it.
Say it, son.
Yeah, I strangled him.
OK.
It's gonna be all right.
I saw what you did in there.
That kid wanted a lawyer.
- Did he say it?
- Yeah.
I never heard him say,
"I want a lawyer."
- That was very clear.
- Well, that's the law.
The law says
that you give the man a chance.
- He had his chance.
- You tricked him into waiving his rights.
You tricked him. When does the autopsy
report prove that burger was strangled?
- You think he killed him?
- Yeah. That's not the point.
At trial, the lawyer will have him
on the stand saying,
"He changed his mind about the sex."
There's not a member of that jury
who won't think that Burger was a
dirty old man who got what was coming.
The State's attorney
will bargain it down to five years,
the kid will do a third of that,
and you think he didn't have a chance.
What would an innocent man
do with the same chance?
Is that a line
from your textbook, rookie?
Stay out of my face.
It's getting to me.
I wake up and checking my body
to see if there's a chalk outline.
You should see what we
went through at the cemetery today.
I could retire on half pension
and go into the dry wall business.
You retire? It's like saying
you'll be a ballerina. It ain't possible.
Last year, we had 325 cases
and solved three quarters.
This year we'll have 350 solved,
another three quarters.
You mow the lawn, the next week
you've gotta mow it again.
It's homicide. The one thing
this country is still good at.
Dry wall. You put up a dry wall and
you have a sense of accomplishment.
Let me tell you about a business.
The diaper business, that's a business.
- Diapers. Like diapers?
- Yeah.
Adult diapers. More adults
wear diapers than kids.
- That's a fact. Disposable diapers.
- No kidding.
Let me tell you how I got the idea.
Think mail order, right?
A discreet package, delivered direct.
Just the three of us, you can't loose.
This could be it.
This could be our ticket out.
Mail-order disposable diapers?
That's some sort of career?
Would you rather
bust your butt for a buck?
If you were a Supreme Court Justice
in the supermarket with diapers,
can you imagine the embarrassment?
What embarrassment? Madonna is
wearing diapers in that new photo book.
If that catches on
it could be the end of it.
Look at this.
That's what I've become. I'm just
an easy mark. I'm a fat old white man,
That's all I am, and this guy's trying...
I'll take care of this new-age mugger.
Neither rain nor snow, nor sleet...
Mike, if you kill him, he's mine.
We're police. Go rob somebody else.
You want it? Are you ready? Take it.
Detective Bayliss.
- Sir...
- Stand back, please.
Homicide.