Home Economics (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 18 - Poker Game, $800 Buy-In - full transcript

Chapter 25...

- Anybody want some coffee?
- Oh, I would love some.

It was finally sinking in
for Connor

that his girlfriend, JoJo,
was gone.

So Tom and Sarah were doing
everything in their power

to make their baby brother
feel better.

- How we doing, bro?
- How you feeling, bud?

- Nope.
- Nope what?

Nope to this whole line
of questioning.

Connor, we just want you
to be comfortable...

Feeling my feelings.
Yeah, I know.



How's this?
It sucks that JoJo's gone.

I'm sad about it.
Feelings felt.

I'm actually reading
a Faulkner biography.

He had a very similar situation
to this with his wife, Estelle.

What part of "nope"
didn't you understand?

Oh, I kind of thought
that was more for Sarah.

Nope.

Hey, well,
what if we all have dinner

at our place
next Saturday night, huh?

Kel and Shamiah
have sleepovers,

and we never all hang out
all together.

Yes, we do.

That's all we do.
We're doing it right now.

Sorry, Lulu, but Marina and I
have plans Saturday night.



It's Ma rise night.

It's a combination
of our names,

Denise and Marina.
Denina.

- Marinise?
- We'll find it.

It's a normals' evening

of my and Denise's
favourite things.

Wine, pizza,

"House Hunters" marathon,
the dream.

You guys need to start
dreaming bigger.

Okay, well, uh, what
about a siblings' night?

Tom, you free?

Well, you know,
Marina handles all

the scheduling in our house,
so I probably can't...

- He's free.
- Do it...

I'm free!
Oh, awesome.

Great.
Connor?

What do you say, huh?
A little post-breakup hang?

I'll think about it.

I'll take that
noncommittal answer as a yes.

- It's gonna be crunk!
- Don't forget you're taking

Camila to dance class
the next morning.

It's gonna be somewhat crunk!

♪ Hey, hey ♪
*HOME ECONOMICS*

♪ Hey, hey ♪
Season 02 Episode 18

Oh!
[door opens, closes]

♪ Ain't no party like
a "Dunst on Checks In" party ♪

♪ 'Cause a "Dunst on Checks In"
party don't stop ♪

You still have that?

Yeah, come on,
you can't get rid of this.

It's Connor's
second favourite movie

where a monkey wears clothes.

Wait, didn't you get
his text?

He's bailing.

- What?
- Yeah.

"Just want to stay in
and lay low tonight.

Have fun, fam."
Wow.

You know, he puts up a front,

but I think
he's really hurting.

Won't even leave the house.

What if we went to him?

Well, we do have all the
ingredients for a great party...

- Awesome siblings...
- Check.

- "Dunst on Checks In"...
- Check.

Soup. I made soup.

Party patrol, let's roll.

Whoo!
Let's roll.

Whoa, how much soup
did you make?

A lot.
I made too much soup.

Have you guys
made a decision?

No, why would they go
for that ranch house,

when that gorgeous mid-century
is in their price range?

Seriously, can't they see

you can just convert the garage
into an ADU?

Make that income.

Have fun with your limited
counter space, you ding-dongs.

Should we open
another bottle?

Why are you saying that
like it's a question?

Mummy!
I heard her again.

Oh, it's okay, baby.

What's going on?

Oh, Camila thinks she's been
hearing a ghost in her room.

Sometimes our brain
plays tricks on us

when we're trying to go
to sleep, remember, sweetie?

But I actually heard her
this time.

You know, I had a ghost
in my house when I was little.

- You did?
- No, she didn't.

No, I did.

She would turn lights
on and off.

She would move my toys.

JoJo and I named her Moesha
because she was

usually very active when
we were watching "Moesha."

What's "Moesha"?

Oh, we have a lot
to talk about.

Okay, it's time to go to bed,
okay, sweetie?

But I want
to hear about Moesha.

The ghost or the show?

'Cause I can talk
about both for hours.

Like I said, bedtime.

[screams]
Surprise.

- Surprise.
- Whoa.

Ooh, yeah.
I'm definitely surprised.

You didn't want to go out,
so we decided to come to you.

Okay, move.
This soup is heavy.

- Make room for fun.
- Okay.

Um, hey, I-I told you guys

I just wanted
to lay low tonight.

I-I texted it.
It was in writing.

Well, with Gretchen
at her mum's,

we thought you'd be lonely.

No, I'm fine.
Just didn't feel like hanging.

Oh, we can just do
a quiet night.

Did you make cocktails?

Wait, have you been
smoking a cigar?

[faint music playing]

Lupe. Yeah, she goes hard
on Saturday nights.

Where's that music
coming from?

Nothing, nowhere, nobody.

- [distant laughter]
- [laughing]

Well, I mean, it's been nice
of you guys to cruise on by

but, uh...
[yawns] Oh. Oh, man.

Okay, well,
we'll just take off.

- We'll just leave.
- Okay.

- Oh.
- Oh, hey!

[laughter]

- Sarah.
- Spags?

- Is that split pea soup?
- Smoked lentil.

- Hey, how's Camila doing?
- Honestly, not great.

Why did you tell her
that ghost story?

Because it happened,
we had a ghost...

Moesha Lansbury.

The ghost also liked
"Murder, She Wrote."

Great, well, now Camila

is even more scared
of something that isn't real.

I'm sorry, but how do
you know it's not real?

Oh, I don't know,
'cause of physics

and biology and common sense.

Okay.

I didn't want to say anything
because I know you

don't believe in this stuff,
but I have been sensing

a negative energy
in this space for a while.

Yeah, it's called Tom.

Who owned the house
before you bought it?

I don't know. I forget.
Uh, Janet something.

- It was a trust sale.
- A trust sale.

Okay, that explains it.

[whispering] Janet must've died
in this house.

[whispering]
She did die in this house,

and that's why we bought it
for such a good price.

- [normal voice] Whoop, whoop!
- [normal voice] Marina.

The restless spirit of Janet
is trapped in this house,

- and it is haunting your family.
- [gasps]

[gasps, screams]

You lied to us so that
you could hang out

with a bunch of rich guys.

- Is that Mark Cuban in there?
- Yes, he's friends with Spags.

- What?
- How is that possible?

I lied because I just want
to have a fun, dumb night

with my fun, dumb friends

where we don't have to talk
about my feelings.

- I can be fun and dumb.
- No, you cannot, Sarah.

All you try to do
is get me to talk

and, Tom, all you do is talk.

What? I hate the sound
of my own voice.

Do you?
[cell phone chimes]

Tom sat pensively
on a park bench

watching a red balloon
float by.

- Okay, that's for work.
- Sarah!

I've been looking
all over for you.

I saw you, like,
one minute ago, Spags.

All right, bring it in.

- No.
- All right.

Spags, haven't seen you
since the wedding.

How's married life?

Oh, well, I wouldn't know,
as I am divorced.

Oh. [Chuckles] Sorry.
That seems... quick.

Nah, it was, like, the
longest 11 months of my life,

but, you know,
you can't tame this stallion.

All right,
so what are we doing?

Uh, we playing poker or what?

Oh, well, we would love to,
but we weren't exactly invited.

Specifically not invited.

Okay, well, I'm inviting you.

I invited Mark Cuban.

Yeah, uh, quick question...

How the hell did that happen?

Let's just say
when you're the inventor

of Drawer D'Oeuvres,
it opens a lot of...

- Drawer doors.
- Yikes.

Well, they were
just leaving, so...

Oh, can Sarah stay?
Like, I'll pay for your buy-in.

Oh, that's so generous,

but I can pay
for my own buy-in.

It's $800.

That would be great.
Thank you.

- Let's play some poker!
- Let's play some...

both: Poker!

- Okay, you can stay...
- [laughs]

As long as you act
a little less you.

- All right.
- Okay?

That means do not ask me
about my breakup.

- Do not ask me about JoJo.
- Who's JoJo?

No correcting grammar.

No lectures
on late-stage capitalism.

No pushing your soup.
Just be bros.

I can be bro,

although I don't like
that gendered term.

Sarah.

Let's drink some brewskis
and objectify women, dude.

What?

Don't worry about me.
I can hang with the big boys.

Don't call them big boys.

You guys are
already tanking this.

Aunt Denise,
is that house haunted?

Oh, no, sweetie.
That's a new construction.

Those are rarely haunted...

unless it's on
an ancient burial ground.

Denise, could you come
with me to the kitchen?

We'll be right back, okay?

Wait, can you turn on
another light?

These are all
of the lights, honey.

Can you stop talking
about ghosts?

Camila is a wreck.

She hasn't asked for Dave
since she was six.

- Dave?
- Dave is the sloth... keep up.

Okay, I didn't mean
to scare her,

but she is at the age
where she's starting

to wonder about the mysteries
of the universe.

Okay, listen to me, okay?

I grew up in a household
full of crazy aunties

that actually believed
in spirits,

and I don't want to have Camila
have to deal with that too.

Oh, so I'm a crazy auntie?

That's not
what I meant, okay?

I'm just trying to help Camila.
She's terrified.

Well, I know how to help her,
but you won't like it.

Please don't say an exorcism.

[laughing]
No, don't be ridiculous.

I'm not a priest.

It's a smudging ceremony.

Uh-uh.
Don't like that either.

Also, what is it?

It's a cleansing ritual

to release spirits
out of the home.

JoJo and I did it
to get rid of Moesha.

Did it work?

Gah, Camila!
I got to put a bell on you.

Did the smudging ceremony
get rid of Moesha?

It did.
It released her

- and settled her soul.
- Oh, boy.

Mum, can we please do it?

[sighs]
Okay.

We can do the ghost busting.

- Yay.
- I'll get supplies.

Well, it looks like

my brother and sister
are going to be joining us.

Yo, let's play some cards,
my dudes.

Yeah, deal 'em up, chumps.
[laughs]

[laughs]

- So, uh, whose team am I on?
- It's not a team game.

You into poker?

No, I'm the one billionaire
that hates poker.

[laughs]

- That is my beer.
- Sorry, bro.

Not your beer.

Okay, so I'll get mine
later, bro.

Is it okay if I just, like,
completely wipe these guys out?

Sooner, the better,
Mark Cuban.

[chuckles]

Yo, Cuban, how come
you haven't been to space?

Maybe 'cause I have a life.

Right, totally,
totally, yeah.

Well, space must be lame

when you've got a, like...

I want to say hockey team.

It's a basketball team...
NBA, Dallas Mavericks.

Right.

Have you ever played
basketball?

No.

Have you ever touched
a basketball?

Hey, Connor, you jumping
on that HungryMate IPO?

- Oh, you know it, man.
- Yeah.

[laughter]

Yo, tight. Tight.
What's HungryMate?

It runs a network
of food-delivery apps, yeah.

- Stock price is going wild.
- Sick, sick, sick, sick.

How do they feel about, uh,
unionising their gig workers?

- Say what?
- [softly] Sarah.

Um, who cares
about that crap?

Labor rights...
That's for poor people, right?

- Oh, my God.
- Okay, let's, uh, deal it up.

Let's play some poker.

- It's your turn, Tom.
- Oh, okay.

Yeah, I'm out.
I got nothing.

I, uh, raise 100.

- I bet the same.
- You call.

- I call who?
- No, you...

Sarah, that's a bad bet.
Statistically, there's no way...

Yes, I knew you were faking.

- Bluffing.
- [laughs]

God, you know nothing
about poker.

I know people.
Mark Cuban, I'm a therapist.

So, uh, when someone
is hiding something, I know.

Like Terrence here,

uh, he scratches his chin
when he's lying.

I do not.

[laughing] It's incredible...

- just incredible.
- Okay.

Very cool stuff.

Let's get this next hand going.
Come on.

So what do you do

when you're not
just crushing it at poker?

Oh, you're gonna love this.

I... actually, I'm a novelist.

Seriously?

That's pretty cool.

[laughs]
That's cool.

For real.

Oh, he... he's serious?

Have you read
the new Sally Rooney?

Yeah, it's amazing.

I'm teaching a fiction workshop
at Ash burn College.

I put it on my syllabus.

- Wow, I'm jealous.
- [scoffs]

I thought tonight
was just gonna be us bros.

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

I knew you'd
have everything we'd need

for our smudging ceremony...

Sage, sea salt, crystals.

Where'd you get
these crystals?

Oh, I keep crystals
in my purse.

Wait, that's my good
cooking salt...

- Whatever, I hate cooking.
- What's the salt for?

To absorb the bad vibes
in the room.

[chuckles derisively]

Now I need you
to close your eyes

and put out a calming energy

for us to connect
with our ghost.

Janet, we ask for you to
move onward with your journey.

The owners of this home
mean you no harm.

Marina, stop texting.

- It's a work thing.
- Mum.

Fine.

If your communication was
an effort to tell us something,

we are open
to receiving your message.

[sighs]

[rustling]

That's it.
I heard her.

No, baby, I don't think so.

[rustling]

Both: Janet.

- You heard that, right?
- Yes.

It's probably just the wind.
I'm gonna go check it out.

[louder rustling]

- You're not moving.
- I'm not?

Am I now?

You are so right, Sarah.

My whole life
I've been chasing money.

Rise, grind, hustle.

What's the point of making bank
if I'm not even happy?

Terrence, you have to decide

if your value is
more than a bottom line.

What makes you happy?

I don't know. I guess...

Come on, give it to me.
Quick, quick.

Love.

- Wow.
- There it is.

That's what we all want,
bro-seph.

I don't think
I've ever truly been in love.

And the game continues.
Sarah, you're up.

So you were published
in McSweeney's?

I've been a subscriber
since '99.

- Cuban, you gonna call?
- Oh, um, no.

I'm actually writing
a short story.

It's about my grandmother.
She was born in Lithuania...

- Uh-huh.
- And, with no money,

got on a boat by herself,
came to the United States,

started her own
little business.

So she was
an entrepreneur too.

She was the first
entrepreneur in the family.

Well, there you go.
That's your in.

I think it's time for me

to call my dad
and patch things up.

I'm so proud of you.
Come here.

Do you want me to spot you,
emotionally?

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

It's just about her journey
and the challenges...

Hey, Mark, Mark,
lesson number one...

it's about this guy
right here, huh?

You're right.

You know, I also have
emotional problems.

- You don't say?
- Hey, where'd Connor go?

- He's out.
- But he still has chips left.

Yeah, that wasn't
the problem.

[upbeat electronic music]

[♪ ♪]

[eerie music]

[♪ ♪]

[rattling]

[whispering] You can't hit
a ghost with a bat.

[whispering]
It's not a ghost.

Then what
are you swinging at?

[rattling]

It's getting louder.

[normal voice] I think
it's coming from the ceiling.

[normal voice]
What does that lead to?

That's a small crawl space.

A Janet space.

[♪ ♪]

Stand back.

[♪ ♪]

Janet, we're coming in.

- Oh, now you believe in her?
- I'm just being polite.

[♪ ♪]

Huh.

Well...

Maybe it was
just our imagination?

[bats screeching,
all screaming]

You want to dance?

Let's dance.

[screaming continues]

[alarm beeping]

So we captured
your loose bat,

and we chased out
the rest of the bats too.

The rest of the bats?

There were,
like, 45 in your attic.

Oh, you didn't
have to count them.

We don't really
have an attic.

It's... it's more
of a... of a crawl space.

Oh, no, I just moved some
insulation out of the way.

There's about eight feet
of clearance in there.

It's a full attic.

Seriously?
Do you know what this means?

Both: Bonus room!
[laughter]

Sorry, we're just
huge "House Hunters" fans.

You mentioned that...
a few times.

Thank you so much.

Okay, maybe this experience

was Janet showing you
the true value of this house.

No, it was just the bats
showing us that they were bats.

Or Janet led us to the bats.

Yeah, it was
her ghost message.

And now she's gone.

You know,
I'm gonna miss Janet.

[chuckles]

- Night, Mum.
- Good night.

I guess the smudging ceremony
did help her.

She's lucky to have you.

Oh, so I'm not
a crazy auntie?

Uh, let's just say
open-minded.

Look, I'm never going
to believe in ghosts

or haunted houses
or tarot crystals.

[laughs]
Tarot crystals do not exist.

Oh, but should they?

I do like having
a best friend

that sees the world
differently than I do.

And I like having
a best friend

who questions everything.

It's a nice challenge for me.

But you have to admit...
You were spooked by Janet.

No, I was concerned
about an unexplained noise

that was later explained.

No, you were scared
of a ghost.

I have never been
and will never be

scared of a ghost.

Denise, I know that was you.

That wasn't me.

[gasps]

By the way, the rats may
have chewed through your wires.

- You mean the bats?
- No, you also have rats.

Bye.

- Oh. [Laughs]
- [growls]

Remember,
story comes from character,

not the other way around.

- I'll remember.
- All right.

Thanks for the soup.

- Later, Connor.
- Later, Mark Cuban.

Good guy.
He's a good guy.

Wait, so why did you bail
on the game?

Yeah, we were bro-ing out
with your bros

just like you wanted...
We didn't talk about JoJo.

We didn't talk
about your feelings once.

Yeah, because you talked

about everybody else's
feelings.

Now Terrence is dealing
with abandonment issues,

and you made Mark Cuban
contemplate a career change.

Mark Cuban!

That's irresponsible, Tom.

Look, it's not my fault
that he's

so deeply interested
in my process.

Everyone talking
about their feelings

made me think
about my feelings.

I just wanted one night
of distraction,

and you guys took that from me.

I'm sorry, Con.
We... we blew it.

We knew you wanted
a dumb night.

That's why we brought
a stupid movie like

"Dunst on Checks In", but we'll
give you your space, okay?

We're sorry.

Wait, you brought
"Dunst on Checks In"?

It's my second favourite movie
where a monkey wears clothes.

We know.

There's that part
where Dunst on swings

from the chandelier and knocks
that lady into the cake.

Yeah.

Dunst on does that.

[soft music]

I mean, I guess
it's still kind of early.

[laughing]

Dunst on.

[sighs] This is seriously dumb.
Thank you.

It's our pleasure.

Remind me... what is
your favourite movie

with a monkey
that wears clothes?

Some things are meant
to remain private, Tom.

Look at us...

Watching late-night movies,
just like old times.

Still gay, still married.

Right on.

[laughs, screeches]

It's game time.
Okay, next hand...

Chicago high
with a Black Mariah.

Let's double the ante, huh?

So 50 cents it is.

Mm, by the way, Lulu,
I won $1,500 last night.

Ooh, your horoscope
was right.

Nope, nothing to do
with that.

By the way, the kids
are really quiet.

Should we check on them?

Nah, Lupe's got them
under control.

Okay, I've got two queens.

Full house.
I win again.

You're bleeding us dry, Lupe.

You got to know
when to hold them,

know when to fold them,

and know when
to brush your teeth.

Come on, it's bedtime.
[all groan]

[jazzy flourish]