Hill Street Blues (1981–1987): Season 7, Episode 14 - Der Roachenkavalier - full transcript

ITEM 5.

REVISED ARREST GUIDELINES FOR
OPERATION PUSHOVER, DAY FOUR.

[GRUMBLING]

PCP, TWO OR MORE
TIN FOIL PACKETS NOW CONSTITUTES

POSSESSION WITH INTENT
TO DISTRIBUTE.

CANNABIS, ANYTHING
OVER ONE OUNCE.

PILLS, MORE THAN SIX,
THE NEW REGS SAY

THAT YOU HAVE GOT
A FELONY ARREST.

[INDISTINCT] A P.W.I.D.
USED TO BE 10.

TOLD YOU.

SARGE, ARE WE REALLY
GOING TO POP THESE GUYS



FOR A HEAVY OUNCE OF DOPE?

[CLAMORING]

ALL RIGHT, COURAGE, PEOPLE.
MICHIGAN AVENUE IS INUNDATED.

THE ARRAIGNMENT COURTS
ARE GRINDING TO A STOP.

THE PUBLIC DEFENDERS SICK-OUTS
ARE AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH.

BUT, AS GENTLEMEN,

WE APPLAUD THE COUNCIL'S
GOOD INTENTIONS.

ALL RIGHT, BACK TO ITEM 6,
MOONLIGHTING.

[GRUMBLING]

IN BRIEF, DIVISION MEMO 609

DECLARES THE EXPERIMENT IS OVER,

EFFECTIVE THIS DATE.
NO MORE AFTER HOURS JOB.

GO HOME
TO YOUR DEPENDENTS AND SELVES.

ITEM 7, ASSIGNMENTS.



MALICHI, OLMSTEAD, RUSSO,

THE HOOKER-JOHN OPERATION
ON STYVESON.

RYAN AND STERNECK,
ABANDONED CARS.

DETECTIVE BELKER CONTINUES
HIS PRODUCE UNDERCOVER,

AND, BY THE WAY,

HAS EXCELLENT YAMS
AT 60 CENTS A BAG.

I AM ALL OUT OF YAMS.

BUT SURELY, YOU'LL REORDER.

I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL REORDER.

WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.

WELL, UH, BEFORE YOU GO,

ON A PERSONAL NOTE--

NEWS, LIEUTENANT?

ROBERT, THE TITLE SERGEANT

WOULD SUIT ME ALL MY LIFE.

HOWEVER,

IT IS TRUE THAT MY REVIEW
HAS BEEN GIVEN A DATE

CERTAIN FIVE WEEKS
FROM TOMORROW,

REINSTATEMENT
TO MY FORMER LIEUTENANCY

IS APPARENTLY ALL BUT ASSURED.

[CHEERING]

THANK YOU.

[INDISTINCT]

EVERYBODY? HEY, EVERYBODY--

MY LITTLE COUSIN'S GOT
A SCIENCE PROJECT,

NEED A LARGE TO EXTREMELY LARGE
COCKROACH.

IT'S GOT TO BE ALIVE.
I APPRECIATE YOUR HELP.

THE LITTLE COUSIN
IS REFERRING TO

IS THE W105 ROCK-A-ROACH
CONTEST.

IT HAPPENS TO PAY $1,005

FOR THE LARGEST ROACH
APPREHENDED.

JUST DUMP THE ROACH HEAVEN.

ME AND NEAL ARE GIVING
$50 FOR ANYTHING OVER 3 INCHES.

YOU KNOW, THIS MOONLIGHTING
SITUATION IS RIDICULOUS.

NO, THEY SAID
IT'S CANCELED AFTER TONIGHT.

NO, NO, AS OF THIS DATE.

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT
THE BLOND HAIRS IN THE SINK.

SPARE ME, PLEASE.

COME ON, LISTEN.
I BRING MY ROTOR ROOTER.

IT WON'T COST YOU NOTHING.

SALVATORE, MY MAN,
THE TOPIC IS COCKROACHES.

NOW, ME AND NEAL
FIGURE GOING FROM PIPE TO PIPE,

YOU KNOW WHERE'S THE MAIN NEST,
THE BIG GUYS.

- SUB-BASEMENT.
- I TOLD YOU.

SAL, I'VE NEVER BEEN DOWN THERE.
WHERE IS IT?

HEY, SAL.

SHE'S PERFECT.

[SIREN]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ CAME TO TELL ME ♪

♪ TAKE ME AWAY FROM BABYLON ♪

♪ OH, I'M A SLAVE ♪

♪ IN COUNTRY OF NOT
MY CHOOSING, MAN ♪

REGGAE'S DEAD, PARTNER.

NO OFFENSE, BUT...

AREN'T YOUR LOCKS
A LITTLE STRAIGHT ANYWAY?

THIS IS RAVERS, MAN.

WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT THE RAVERS, HERE.

YEAH, NOT ONLY
DO WE GET 100 BUCKS
FOR CHECKING COATS,

BUT WE ALSO GET
TO TAKE PART IN GUITAR HISTORY.

THE RAVERS HAVEN'T CUT
A RECORD IN 10 YEARS.

THAT'S BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN
LIVING IN FRANCE.

YOU SEE, MUSIC IS LIKE A CIRCLE.
IT'S NEVER BROKEN.

ROCK AND ROLL, COUNTRY,

MUSIC TO STARE AT THE WALL BY,
1,001 STRINGS.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,
THE RAVERS ARE VERY HEAVILY
INFLUENCED BY JOHNNY CASH.

JOHNNY CASH IS FROM JAMAICA?

NO, BUT
THEY'RE INFLUENCED BY HIM.

IT GOES LIKE THIS.
LISTEN TO THIS.

♪ CAN'T GET A JOB ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I LOOK JUST
LIKE A SLOB ♪

NOW, THAT'S JOHNNY CASH.
NOW, HERE'S THE RAVERS.

♪ CAN'T GET NO JOB,
GONNA LOOK JUST LIKE A SLOB ♪

♪ CAN'T GET NO WORK,
GONNA LOOK JUST LIKE A JERK ♪

WOMAN [OVER RADIO]:
ANY UNIT IN THE VICINITY
OF VAN BUREN AND SHAW,

WE HAVE A T.A.
WITH FATALITIES.

2202 RESPONDING. WE'VE GOT IT.

- HE TRIED TO CUT IT.
- HE'S OUT OF CONTROL.

GET HIS ARM.
HELP ME! LOOK OUT.

- HEY! HEY!
- YOU'VE GOT TO GRAB HIM!

HEY, LOOK AT ME.

GET OFF OF ME, FATSO.

GET HIM UP. LOOK AT ME.

AAH!

DOES THIS GUY
LOOK FAMILIAR TO YOU?

OH, YEAH.

HELL, YEAH.
DAMNED DISCOURAGING.

MAN: HERE THEY COME.

[CROSSTALK]

OFFICER, QUICK FILL.
I'VE TO CALL IN.

WE'RE TOO BUSY RE-ARRESTING
THE ONES THE COURT
LET OUT YESTERDAY

IN ORDER TO RUN OVER
WOMEN AND CHILDREN.

YOU HAD THIS RIVERA GUY
YESTERDAY, AND YOU LET HIM GO?

NO, I DIDN'T LET HIM GO.
SOME JUDGE LET HIM GO.

A JUDGE? WHICH ONE?

SOME JUDGE WHATS-HIS-NAME.

I DON'T KNOW,
IN A WHITE TOWER SOMEWHERE.

I'D JUST WISH
HE'D COME DOWN LONG ENOUGH

TO DRIVE TO VAN BUREN AND SHAW

AND SEE WHAT HIS REVOLVING DOOR
OF JUSTICE LOOKS LIKE

BEFORE THEY SCRAPE IT UP
OFF THE SIDEWALK.

[CROSSTALK]

LIEUTENANT.

ONE OF YOUR BAD PENNY'S
COME BACK, MS. DAVENPORT.

THERE'S A 263 EYEWITNESS
REPORT COMING.

WE'RE GETTING SOME STATEMENTS
NOW IF YOU WANT TO WAIT.

YOU MY LAWYER AGAIN?

TURN AROUND.

WARM, NORM.

JUST GIVE ME AND LIEUTENANT
GOLDBLUME A MINUTE,

A MINUTE TO MAKE OUR ESCAPE.

WHAT ARE YOU, FUNNY TODAY?

YOUR DIAPER PINS TICKLE,
OR WHAT?

DO YOU EVER THINK MAYBE PEOPLE
GOT TRAGEDY IN THEIR LIVES?

HEY, I'M SORRY I'M ALIVE.

THE GUY FLOORS IT,
RUNS OVER THE GRANDMOTHER

WHILE THE MOTHER
AND THE 9-YEAR-OLD SON WATCH.

UGH...

HEY, HEY, COME HERE.
GIVE ME THAT PAPER.

GIVE ME THAT PAPER.

YOU KNOW WHY YOU DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING, FLAHERTY?

BECAUSE YOU AIN'T
LIVED ENOUGH.

MR. RIVERA, DID YOU SPEAK
TO ANY WITNESSES AT THE SCENE?

I, UH, I DON'T KNOW.

I'M NOT SURE
YOU WANT TO ANSWER THIS,

BUT ARE YOU UNDER THE INFLUENCE
OF ANY DRUG AT THE MOMENT?

LOOK, I'VE GOT A PROBLEM,

AND I REQUEST REHABILITATION.

DID YOU TELL
WITNESSES AT THE SCENE

THAT THE SIGN SAID DON'T WALK,
"AND THEY WAS WALKING"?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU DO KNOW
THREE PEOPLE ARE DEAD?

NO ONE TOLD ME ANYONE'S DEAD.

THE WITNESS SAYS YOU CONTINUED
TO ACCELERATE

THROUGH THE CROSSWALK
AND THE SIDEWALK

UNTIL YOUR CAR WAS CAUSED
TO STOP BY THE BUS STOP BENCH.

DID YOU SEE THE LADY
SITTING ON THE BENCH?

MR. RIVERA,

YOU DIDN'T DELIBERATELY RUN
THOSE PEOPLE DOWN, DID YOU?

NO, MA'AM.

THEY GOT HIT
'CAUSE IT WAS THEIR OWN FAULT.

DO YOU HAVE THE B.C.I.
ON YOUR CLIENT, COUNSELOR?

YES.

LOOK, BEFORE YOU START,
IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO.

LOOK, IT AIN'T ABOUT ME.
IF IT WAS ABOUT ME,

THE LAST PERSON I'D ASK
IS YOU, ALL RIGHT?

SAY THERE'S A REGULAR GUY

WHO'S GOT
THIS GOOD-LOOKING WIFE.

EVERYTHING'S GREAT
TO THE NAKED EYE,

THEN SUDDENLY OUT OF THE BLUE,

SHE STARTS WHORING AROUND
ON HIM.

YOU MEAN TURNING TRICKS,
LIKE THE LORENSON WIFE CASE?

NO, SHE'S JUST CHEATING ON HIM.

SO WHAT'S THE QUESTION?

WELL, DO YOU TELL
THE GUY OR NOT?

WHAT COULD YOU SAY?

THE TRUTH.

IT PAINS ME TO TELL A MAN THIS,

BUT YOU'VE GOT HORNS.

AHEM.

MAYBE JUST SLIP HIM A NOTE, HUH?

CHILDREN?

- NOT BY THIS UNION.
- DO I KNOW HIM?

WHAT IS THIS?
YOU JUST ASK QUESTIONS BACK,

AND THAT'S SUPPOSED
TO BE A BIG HELP?

LOOK, IN MY OPINION,

IT DEPENDS
ON WHAT KIND OF A GUY HE IS.

MAYBE HE KNOWS ALREADY.
MAYBE HE'D RATHER NOT KNOW.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT. LET'S--

SAY HE'S--

SAY HE'S A LEADERSHIP GUY.

HE'S A REGULAR GUY,

MAYBE A LITTLE UNDERWEIGHT.

AND HE'S GOT A GOOD-LOOKING
WIFE, THAT KIND OF GUY.

WHO ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE,
NORM?

HEY, I DON'T NEED
THIS, LIEUTENANT, ALL RIGHT?

AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,

WE NEVER EVEN HAD
THIS CONVERSATION, ALL RIGHT?

NORM! NORM.

LARUE: OW. YEAH, I LOST IT.
WHERE IS IT?

WASHINGTON: OVER YOUR HEAD, MAN.
UNLESS YOU MOVED.

LARUE: OH, I GOT IT.

LARUE: READY?
WASHINGTON: UH-HUH.

YEAH!

THEY'RE TOO QUICK, BABE.

YEAH, BUT THE SIZE.

WE'VE GOT TO TRY AGAIN.

THIS TIME, WE'LL WAIT
UNTIL THE QUEEN COMES OUT.

HEY, SPORT,
THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY.

HEY, NEAL, YOU THERE?

WHERE WOULD I GO?

CHARGED WITH THREE COUNTS
OF VEHICULAR HOMICIDE

AND MURDER
IN THE FIRST DEGREE.

BOND FOR BAIL APPLICATION.

NICE TIE.

KEEP YOUR HEAD LOW, JOYCE.

MR. BERNSTEIN.

YOUR HONOR,
THREE PEOPLE ARE DEAD.

MR. RIVERA
FAILED HIS URINALYSIS,

AND GIVEN THE FACT THAT HE WAS
JUST IN HERE YESTERDAY--

YEAH, I WONDERED
WHEN WE WOULD GET TO THAT.

MISDEMEANOR CHARGE, WASN'T IT,
MR. BERNSTEIN?

UNDER THE NEW
PROSECUTION GUIDELINES,

WHICH I HAPPEN TO SUPPORT,

I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT YOU HAD
A FELONY CHARGE OUT OF THAT.

CAN I APPROACH THE BENCH,
YOUR HONOR?

NO.

BECAUSE IF I HAD KNOWN OF
SUCH A CHARGE,

MR. RIVERA WOULD NOT HAVE GONE
OUT ON

$100 BAIL YESTERDAY.

HE WOULD NOT HAVE GONE ANYWHERE.

APPARENTLY,
THE POLICE DID NOT REQUEST
FELONY OFFENDER TREATMENT.

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

OFFICER RENKO,
WHAT ABOUT THIS?

WELL, SIR, YOUR HONOR,
IT'S MY UNDERSTANDING
IT'S A FELONY,

AND I DON'T KNOW
NOTHING MORE ABOUT IT.

OH.

JUDGE: I THINK I KNOW
A LITTLE MORE ABOUT IT.

LET ME JUST MUSE A MOMENT
ON THIS.

HOW MANY TIMES
HAS THE JUDICIARY OF THIS CITY

BEEN CHARGED WITH SO-CALLED
REVOLVING DOOR JUSTICE?

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE
DISTRICT ATTORNEYS
AND THE POLICE

COMPLAINED THAT WE ARE
SOFT ON THESE PEOPLE,

AND NOW WE HAVE A CRACKDOWN?

BECAUSE FINALLY WE ARE--
WE'RE FED UP.

WE'RE NAUSEATED
BY THESE REPEAT OFFENDERS.

AND LO AND BEHOLD,

IT IS THE POLICE

WHO TURNED MR. RIVERA LOOSE
ON THE STREET.

WELL, NOT TODAY, MR. RIVERA.

REMANDED WITHOUT BAIL.

MAN: ALL RISE.

AND IF INQUIRING
MINDS FROM THE PRESS

WANT TO KNOW
WHY A DANGEROUS CRIMINAL

ONLY HAD HIS WRIST SLAPPED,

TAKE IT UP WITH
POLICE CHIEF DANIELS THIS TIME,

NOT WITH ME.

MAN: HOW ABOUT IT, OFFICERS?
WHAT'S THE STORY NOW?

HOW COME THIS GUY
WAS LET GO YESTERDAY?

[DOOR SHUTS]

GENE?

WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON OVER HERE?

RIVERA'S DIRTY--WAY, WAY, WAY

OVER THE NEW COUNCIL GUIDELINES,

AND SOMEBODY THROWS HIM BACK?

SHAG TIME, FRANK.

- WHO'S RESPONSIBLE?
- THE PRECINCT COMMANDER.

YOU WERE AT MICHIGAN AVENUE
YESTERDAY.

WHOSE WATCH WAS IT,
AND LET'S GET HIM IN HERE.

THAT TONE CARRIES, GENE.

WELL, THAT'S THE TONE
I'M GETTING FROM DANIELS.

HENRY.

DO ME A FAVOR?

HOW ARE WE ON RIVERA?

RECONSTRUCTING.

I'VE STILL GOT PEOPLE TO ASK.

WE'RE CHECKING THE POSSIBILITY

THAT MAYBE A BOOKING NUMBER
GOT SWITCHED.

HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN?

I DON'T KNOW.

GENE: GREAT. GREAT, GOLDBLUME.

SMOOTH MOVE.

I'LL TELL THE CHIEF HE CAN GO
BACK TO HIS CROSSWORD PUZZLE.

YOU BETTER GET YOUR ACT
TOGETHER, CAPTAIN.

SO, THEY'RE LOOKING
FOR THE SACRIFICIAL GOAT.

WHERE'S THE SLOB LET RIVERA GO?

THE INCOMPETENT TURNS
KILLERS LOOSE ON THE STREET,

EVEN THOUGH OUR WONDERFUL
CITY COUNCIL'S REGS
HAD BEEN LISTEN TO--

HENRY...

I WENT DOWN THERE. MY GOD!

THEY HAD TO LIFT THE CAR
OFF THE OLD WOMAN
WITH A TOW TRUCK.

AND RIVERA'S BLOOD TEST
WAS COMPLETELY CRAZY.
HE WAS OUT OF HIS MIND.

HENRY, IF YOU'RE PROTECTING
SOMEBODY, I WON'T HAVE IT.

WE WERE BUSY AS HELL.

MAYBE A BOOKING NUMBER
DID GET SWITCHED.

MAYBE THE ARRESTING OFFICER,
OR ME--

I'M THE MOST LIKELY CANDIDATE.

I MAKE OUT THE GRAND JURY LIST.
FRANK, COME ON.

THE POINT IS
THE NEW REGS ARE BULL.

EXCUSE ME,
THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

IF I'D COME TO YOU,
IF I'D SAID,

"HERE'S A MINOR BUST."

NOW, TECHNICALLY,
IT'S A FELONY.

BUT THE POSSESSION
IS QUESTIONABLE.

UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES,
WE'D KICK IT TOTALLY.

I WOULD HAVE SAID
HONOR THE COUNCIL'S INTENTION.

NO DISCRETION.

NO COP SAVVY, JUST LET THE WHOLE
SYSTEM RUN ITSELF AGROUND.

HENRY, HAVE YOU BEEN--

SCUTTLING THE GREAT
OPERATION PUSHOVER?

UH-UH, FRANK, NO. I HAVEN'T.

I HAVE BEEN TRYING
TO LIVE WITH THESE REGS.

LOOK, HOWARD MAKES OUT
THE TRANSMITTABLE LIST.

HAVE YOU ASKED HIM?

ASK HIM, HENRY.
WE NEED TO KNOW THAT HAPPENED.

FIND OUT, ALL RIGHT?

HAVE YOU SEEN SERGEANT HUNTER?

HE'S AROUND SOMEWHERE,
LIEUTENANT.

LARUE: IT'S ALMOST READY.

SCISSORS.

[SCISSORS CUTTING]

TOOTH PICK.

COME ON, MAN. TOOTH PICK.

[MUTTERING]

WAIT A MINUTE. ONE, THERE...

GOT IT. OKAY, NEAL.
FEAST YOUR EYES.

THE CAESAR'S PALACE
OF ROACH MOTELS.

LOOK AT THAT. SEE?

IT'S STICKY INSIDE.

YEAH, SO?

OH, DEATH BY ADHESION,
GENTLEMEN.

REMARKABLY LIKE THE KILLER TAR
PITS OF PREHISTORIC YORE.

NO, THE CONTEST RULES
SAY IT'S GOT TO BE ALIVE.

I'LL FIX IT. THANKS, SARGE.

AND BY THE BY,
YOUR ASSIGNMENT TODAY IS?

PREPPING THE BAIL BOND CASE,
SARGE.

HOWARD, A MINUTE?

YESTERDAY'S CHARGE SHEETS,
YOU FILE THEM?

YES, INDEED.

AS I REMEMBER, THE FELONY LIST
WAS ON AN OLD ENVELOPE,

SORT OF RIPPED?

AH, YES, BLUE AND GRAY.

AN ORDER ENVELOPE
FOR A MUSKET BALL MAGAZINE,

BOX 30Z, TEMPE, ARIZONA 85283.

IT'S A GOOD OUTFIT.

ANY CHANCE YOU COULD LOCATE IT?

WELL, IN TRUTH, HENRY,
I DON'T REMEMBER THIS FELLOW
RIVERA BEING ON IT.

JUST CHECK, OKAY?

NOT A PROBLEM.

SHUT UP, SHUT UP.

HEY, JACQUELINE.

WOMAN: HEY, LIEUTENANT BUNTZ.

DID I ASK YOU HELLO?
SO SHUT UP, ALL RIGHT?

COME HERE. COME HERE.

SHUT UP. HEY, HEY.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP?

HERE, COME HERE.

WHY, LIEUTENANT.

WOULD YOU SHUT UP, JACKIE? HUH?

ALL RIGHT, SEVERAL YEARS
THIS MARRIAGE GOES ALL RIGHT.

HE'S PAESAN. SHE'S YACHT CLUB.
DON'T ASK ME HOW IT GOT STARTED.

ANY EVENT,

SHE IS NOW SLEEPING AROUND
ON HIM.

AND HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE.

IS THIS YOUR ITALIAN CAPTAIN?

HEY, WOULD YOU SHUT UP
UNTIL I FINISH?

ALL RIGHT? THESE ARE HIGH-CLASS
PEOPLE, JACKIE.

YOU WOULDN'T KNOW ANY OF THEM.

SO, YOU BEING A WHORE,

YOU'VE GOT
PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE

IN THIS CHEATING AND LYING
AND BREAKING UP HAPPY HOMES,

AND HOW COME IT HAPPENS?

HEY, LOOK, ARE YOU DEAF?
I ASKED YOU A QUESTION.

WHAT QUESTION WAS THAT?

[SIGHS]

WHY WOULD A WOMAN
DO THAT TO A MAN?

I DON'T KNOW. JUST TO GET
HIS ATTENTION, PROBABLY.

YEAH?

HEY, LIEUTENANT,
WHY DO YOU THINK WE DO OUR TOES?

IT AIN'T FOR OUR FEET.

SO, WHAT DOES HE DO?

TAKE HER SOME PLACE NICE.

YOU KNOW, SPEND A LITTLE MONEY
ON HER FOR ONCE.

SO HOW ABOUT IT, LIEUTENANT?

YOU GONNA GIVE ME A PASS ON POP?

HUH? NAH, FOR WHAT?

AW, COME ON.
YOU'RE SCUM, BUNTZ.

[CHUCKLES]

PRECISELY WHERE
MEMORY PLACED IT.

HMM.

MA'AM, WOULD YOU NOT MAKE
FINGERNAILS IN MY EGGPLANTS?

I SHOULD EAT BROCCOLI?

LADY, WOULD YOU
NOT DO THAT TO THAT DOG?

THIRTY-EIGHT CENTS.
SOME PEOPLE.

[DOG GROWLS]

HEY, MY CHECK.
I JUST GOT PAID.

COME BACK HERE, YOU MUTT!

WHOSE DOG IS THAT?

I DON'T KNOW NOTHING
ABOUT NOTHING.

AND THAT'S
THE SECRET OF MY SUCCESS.

THE GUY OVER AT THE POOL HALL,
PUERTO RICAN LOOKING GUY.

WHAT'S HIS NAME?

- BUD.
- BUD?

I CALL EVERYBODY BUD.
THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM.

THANK YOU.

FIRST, I'VE GOT
TO SEE THE GRAND TETONS.

LOOK, THE COAT STAYS CLOSED.
I'M FREEZING, OKAY?

YOU WANT TO GO TO A PARTY
OR NOT?

I DON'T KNOW.

BLEED TO DEATH, WOULD YOU?

YAMS COME IN?

TINA, YOU THINK
YOU COULD MOVE YOUR OPERATION

A HALF A BLOCK DOWN MY WAY?

I'VE GOT THIS VERY WEIRD PURSE
SNATCHING THING DOWN THERE.

THE ONLY THING
I'M GETTING AROUND

HERE IS A RUNNY NOSE ANYHOW.

RIGHT.

HEY, LIEUTENANT.

YOU KNOW, THEY'RE CALLING YOU
THE SUBVERSIVE COP?

WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOUR FRIEND STEVE MERKER
SHOOTS A POLICE OFFICER,

YOU SPEAK OUT AND DEFEND HIM.

NOW, THERE'S THIS THING
WITH LETTING

THE BUS STOP KILLER GO FREE.

YOU'RE NUTS.
WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?

THE CLIPPING'S IN THE MORGUE.
YOUR NAME KEEPS COMING UP.

I GOT A PATTERN OF A GUY
WHO'S BUCKING THE SYSTEM.

I THINK THAT'S
PRETTY SUBVERSIVE.

LOOK, WHY DON'T WE FIND
A PLACE TO TALK?

BARNEY, WHAT IS THIS?
FEEDING TIME AT THE SHARK POOL?

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE
BACK HERE. COME ON. COME ON.

HOWARD...

DID YOU FIND ANYTHING?

NO, I DIDN'T.

THANKS FOR LOOKING.

SERGEANT, I HEARD
ABOUT YOUR REVIEW.

GO GET THEM.

THANKS, CHIEF.

YEAH, WELL,
I'M IN THE CONTEST.

WHAT'S THE BIGGEST ONE
YOU'VE GOT SO FAR?

I MEAN APPROXIMATELY.

YEAH, OKAY, THANKS A LOT.

WELL, WHAT DID THEY SAY?

THEY CAN'T TELL ME ANYTHING.
NO BUGS ACCEPTED BEFORE 3:00.

OKAY, YOUR INDEPENDENT ESTIMATE.

TWO-AND-A-HALF. BIG ROACH, J.D.

SORRY TO TELL YOU, THIS ANIMAL
IS IN A WEAKENED CONDITION.

YOU'RE NUTS.
LOOK, HE'S SCAMPERING AROUND.

HE'S GOT NOTHING
TO EAT IN THERE.

GET HIM SOME LETTUCE.

THAT'S FOR TURTLES.

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

ANYHOW, ANY OF YOU GUYS
KNOW WHO IT IS

THAT CAPTAIN FURILLO'S WIFE
IS SLEEPING AROUND ON HIM WITH?

WHAT?

WHY DON'T YOU
SHUT YOUR FACE, HUH?

I'M TELLING YOU,
I DIDN'T MEAN NOTHING.

DUMB AS A BAGFUL OF HAMMERS.

HE DON'T GET NOTHING RIGHT.

HENRY.

WHAT IS IT, HOWARD?

THE CHIEF WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU
IN THE CAPTAIN'S OFFICE.

HELLO, HENRY.

CHIEF, I WAS IN STATION COMMAND
YESTERDAY.

SIT DOWN, LIEUTENANT. RELAX.

I ASKED YOU TO BE BROUGHT IN,
AND I'M HERE TO LISTEN.

FRANKLY,
I THINK THE PRESS, THE T.V.,

THEY'RE BENDING THIS
RIVERA THING AROUND ON US.

BUT MAYBE
WE CAN STRAIGHTEN THEM OUT.

ONE THING, WE'VE TRIPLED
OUR ARRESTS THIS WEEK.

ABSOLUTELY, AND I'LL
MAKE THAT CRYSTAL CLEAR.

NOW, ON THE INDIVIDUAL HIMSELF,

DID WE HAVE HIM,
AND WHAT HAPPENED?

HENRY.

YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH?

THE TRUTH?

CAN'T FOOL AROUND ON THIS.
IT'S THE NEW REGS, SIR.

THEY'RE A BAD DEAL.

NOT ONLY ARE THEY UNENFORCEABLE,
THEY'RE MISLEADING.

COUNCIL WORKED THEM OUT.

THEY'RE THE WHOLE BASIS
OF OPERATION PUSHOVER.

I KNOW,
BUT THEY'RE JUST A P.R. JOB.

THEY'RE A SET-UP.

AND I SIGNED THEM,
LIEUTENANT.

YOU DIDN'T ANSWER
THE QUESTION, HENRY.

WHY WASN'T RIVERA HELD?

BECAUSE I LET HIM GO.

WHAT?

I CHECKED, AND THAT'S
WHAT MUST HAVE HAPPENED.

FACTS OFF THE ARREST REPORT
SUGGEST OFFICERS
HAD NO CAUSE TO FRISK,

SO I MUST OF HAVE SEEN THAT,

REALIZED WE WOULD HAVE LOST
TO THE SUPPRESSION HEARING

AND JUST CHARGED A MISDEMEANOR.

I'M NOT HEARING THIS.

MAYBE I'M JUSTIFYING
MY OWN BEHAVIOR BECAUSE
PEOPLE GOT KILLED.

- JUST A SECOND.
- BUT I'M NOT.

I'D PROBABLY DO IT AGAIN.
SAVE THREE COURT APPEARANCES,

TWO LAWYERS,

20 HOURS COMP OVERTIME,

SCARCE BED IN THE SLAM.

THE HELL WITH IT.
IT'S ALWAYS GONNA BE
A JUDGMENT CALL.

IT'S A LOUSY CALL.

WE'VE GOT A HIGHLY PUBLICIZED
OPERATION OUT THERE
IN FULL SWING.

NO, SIR.
COUNCIL DOESN'T JUST VOTE

AND SUDDENLY
ALL THE WARTS DISAPPEAR.

THEY GO POOF.

FRANK, IS THIS YOUR POLICY?
NOT TO ENFORCE GUIDELINES?

I KNOW WHAT HENRY'S
TRYING TO SAY,

BUT HE'S SAYING IT BADLY.

VERY BADLY.

HE'S TELLING ME
HE'S IN CHARGE HERE, IS THAT IT?

HE RUNS THE DEPARTMENT?
THE HELL YOU DO, LIEUTENANT!

SOMEBODY'S GOT
TO MAKE THE CALLS,

AND IT'S NOT CITY COUNCIL.

I'LL MAKE THE CALL!
YOU'RE OUT OF HERE.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?

SUSPENDED,
PENDING A REVIEW BOARD.

AND, FRANK,
I STILL WANT THAT REPORT.

TAKE YOUR TIME.

THIS COSI FAN TUTTE
IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY, HUH?

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

INFIDELITY.

NO,
THAT OTHER ONE YOU MENTIONED.

SIR, IN FIDELIO,

SHE SAVES HER HUSBAND'S LIFE.

AND THERE'S NO BOYS DRESSED UP
AS GIRLS, NOTHING LIKE THAT?

THAT'S ROSENKAVALIER.

AND AS I EXPLAINED TO YOUR, SIR,

DER ROSENKAVALIER
IS COMPLETELY SOLD OUT.

[COUGHS]

OKAY.

GIVE ME TWO FOR FRIDAY NIGHT
THERE RINGSIDE.

THE ONE WHERE SHE SAVES HIM.

LOGE OR DRESS CIRCLE, SIR?

MAN: LOGE.

ANYHOW,

NOT BEHIND ANY POSTS.

POLICE DISCOUNT?

SEVENTY-SIX DOLLARS, SIR.

HUH?

YOU'VE CROSSED
A THRESHOLD OF TASTE.

AHEM.

YEAH, THERE SHE IS.

I PROMISED HER
I'D GET THE 30 BUCKS I OWE HER.

[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]

PATRICK, SHE'S UNDERCOVER.
IS THAT SMART?

IT'LL JUST LOOK
LIKE A STANDARD ROUST.

I'D PUT ON A LEASH
AND YOU WALK ME.

LIKE A BEAGLE.

WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?

BECAUSE I BUY YOU TO,
THAT'S WHY.

OH.

HEY, SISTER.
GET OUT OF HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

KEEPING AN EYE ON YOU.

YOU, FIDO, GET BACK HERE.
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?

GET BACK HERE!

FIDO, GET BACK HERE!

HEY, IT'S THE THIEF!

WAIT A MINUTE.

DON'T HE GET HIS BISCUIT?

YO, MAN, WHO ARE YOU
SUPPOSED TO BE?

I'M A POLICE OFFICER.
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.

INSPECTOR, WE BOTH KNOW
THAT SUSPENSION WAS UNWARRANTED.

NO, NO, THERE AREN'T FATALITIES
IN THE GOLDBLUME CASE.

THE FATALITIES ARE
IN THE RIVERA CASE.

LET'S NOT MISS THAT DISTINCTION.

BECAUSE--

BECAUSE WHAT
HAPPENED THIS MORNING

COULD HAVE HAPPENED
TO A THOUSAND COPS IN THIS CITY.

IT WAS JUST ONE
OF THOSE FREAK RESULTS

THAT COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU,
THAT'S ALL.

AND I'M GETTING A LITTLE SICK

OF DOWNTOWN'S HYPOCRITICAL
SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

ANYTHING WRONG, CAPTAIN?

I MEAN,
THE DOOR BEING CLOSED.

THIS IS JUST NOT THE BEST TIME,
NORMAN.

HERE.

OPERA TICKETS?

YEAH. FIDELIO. FRIDAY NIGHT.

TWO SEATS NEXT TO EACH OTHER.

THAT'S AWFULLY NICE OF YOU,
NORMAN.

BUT ACTUALLY
I THINK MS. DAVENPORT HAS
A LAW SEMINAR THIS WEEKEND,

AND SHE'S GOING TO BE AWAY.

SHE'S GOING TO BE AWAY?
YOU KNOW WITH WHOM?

IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE RETREATS.
THEY GO TO A HOTEL AND YAK.

MAYBE I CAN TALK HER OUT OF IT.

HEY, YEAH.
TALK HER OUT OF IT, CAPTAIN.

THE LADY KNOWS
A LOT OF LAW ALREADY.

I MEAN, SHE KNOWS LOTS OF IT.

DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW RIGHT AWAY?

NO, NO. TALK TO HER.

AND, CAPTAIN,
MAYBE BE A LITTLE PERSUASIVE.

YES.

YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU'RE REALLY
PAYING HER SOME ATTENTION.

[CLEARS THROAT]

COFFEE?

I'M NOT GOING
TO LET THEM TAKE YOUR BADGE,

BUT I THINK
THEY'RE SEEING AN ATTITUDE.
AND THAT DOESN'T HELP.

I'M NOT ASKING
FOR YOUR SUPPORT, CAPTAIN.

DANIELS IS UP ON HIS HIGH HORSE,
AND YOU PUT HIM THERE.

THREE PEOPLE GOT KILLED,

AND PEOPLE ARE SAYING
I'M RESPONSIBLE.

I DON'T REALLY BUY THAT,

BUT I CAN UNDERSTAND
HOW THEY MIGHT THINK IT.

BUT AS A COP.

I WAS BEING THE ONLY COP
I CAN BE ANYMORE.

THE ONLY KIND OF COP
I THINK IT'S RIGHT TO BE.

DO YOU ACCEPT ME THAT WAY?

DO YOU?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN EXACTLY?

NOT KISSING ANY LIARS CHEEKS.

I'D JUST WISH YOU'D COME TO ME
WHEN THE GUIDELINES CAME UP.

MAYBE I SHOULD.

MAYBE THAT'S RIGHT.

BUT I DIDN'T.

SO I THINK YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR
DISTANCE ON THIS, CAPTAIN.

THERE'S A MS. DOT WALKER WHO
SAYS SHE'S RETURNING YOUR CALL.

I DON'T EVEN LIKE DOGS.

THAT DOG TO ME
IS LIKE A PIECE OF DIRT.

DOT?

YEAH.

YEAH, THAT'S WHY I CALLED.

LISTEN, IF THERE'S ANY INTEREST,

I'D LIKE TO GO ON
THE DON CHESMAN SHOW.

I'VE NEVER SEEN
THIS DOG IN MY LIFE.

OKAY, RAYMOND.

HEY! HEY! GET DOWN.

[DOG GROWLING]

YO, MAN,
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM?

THE POUND'S ON ITS WAY,
DETECTIVE.

THEY SAID YOU COULD JUST TIE
THE DOG UP IN THE PARKING LOT.

POUND? WHAT FOR?

HE'S GOT TO GET LOCKED UP
UNTIL HIS CASE GOES TO COURT.

THIS DOG IS ALLOWED
ONE PHONE CALL, ISN'T HE?

UH, STILL PREPPING
THE BAIL BOND CASE, SARGE.

IT'S GOING CRAZY, NEAL.

IT FEELS WEIRD,
SCRATCHING RIGHT ON MY STOMACH.

AT LEAST YOU KNOW
HE'S STILL ALIVE.

THANKS A LOT.

HENRY, CAN I SEE YOU
A MOMENT, PRIVATELY?

JUST SAY IT'S NONE
OF THEIR BUSINESS.

BUT THEY'RE ALL ASKING ME.

HI, HONEY.

NAH. LISTEN,

CAN WE TALK ABOUT
YOUR NO DOGS POLICY?

CAPTAIN?

YES?

I'M KIND OF
ON THE SPOT OUT HERE.

WHAT WOULD YOU WANT ME
TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT YOU

AND MS. DAVENPORT
GETTING A DIVORCE?

YOU PUMP IRON.
YOU DO SIT UPS AT DAWN

WITH YOUR FLACK JACKET ON.

YOU WEAR YOUR HEAVY HANDS
RIGHT INTO THE SHOWER.

IT MAKES YOUR BODY HARD,

BUT HOW DO YOU TRAIN
FOR INNER STRENGTH?

HOWARD, WHAT'S UP?

AND THEN THE TEST COMES,
AND YOU FLUNK IT.

HONOR, DISCRETION, LOYALTY.

FLUSH IT DOWN THE COMMODE
LIKE SO MANY GUM WRAPPERS.

I'VE GOT TO GO SOMEWHERE,
HOWARD.

AS YOU KNOW,
I COULDN'T FIND THE ENVELOPE.

DOESN'T MATTER.

BUT HERE IT IS.

RIVERA'S NAME IS THERE.

YES, I HESITATED, HENRY.

I SAW MY LIEUTENANCY
SLIPPING AWAY.

THAT'S RIVERA, J.

THE PHYSICAL THERAPIST
WITH THE HAND GRENADES.

IT'S CURTIS RIVERA
THIS IS ALL ABOUT.

IT IS?

YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

I DIDN'T?

I KNOCKED HIM DOWN
TO A MISDEMEANOR.

[PAPER RUSTLES]

HMM.

WELL, AHEM,

WE DO SO RELY ON OUR MEMORIES,
DON'T WE?

BUT FOR A MOMENT,
I THOUGHT THERE THAT, WELL--

HEH.

[CHAIR LEGS SQUEAKS]

WELL [SIGHS]

YOU CAN IMAGINE MY RELIEF.

THERE I WAS,

SWINGING SLOWLY IN MY OWN WIND.

OH, HENRY, LISTEN.

FORGIVE MY SELF-ABSORPTION.

IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN DO TO HELP?

I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE
YOUR BACK AGAINST THE WALL.

I'VE BEEN THERE.

OH, YES, AND IT'S QUITE AWFUL.

NOT NECESSARILY...

WHEN YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE.

W105, HOME OF THE ROCK-A-ROACH.

OKAY, LET'S SEE WHAT WE'VE GOT.

ARE YOU KIDDING? HOW ABOUT YOU?

NOTHING. WHAT ABOUT YOU?

NOTHING EITHER.

LET ME GUYS SHOW YOU
A REAL COCKROACH.

HUH? HUH?

HERE. BYE.

[RADIO CHATTER]

SIR, I'LL SHOW YOU MINE
IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS, HUH?

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

AW, NEAL, I'M NOT SEEING THIS.

[LAUGHS]

J.D.,
LOOK WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE.

- WHAT?
- TONY GREASY.

WAIT, WHO ARE YOU, MAN?

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
YOU DON'T KNOW REMEMBER
DETECTIVE WASHINGTON?

WELL, I REMEMBER YOU.

YOU JUMPED BAIL ON THAT ROBBERY
AT THE TRAIN STATION.

- NO WAY.
- MM-HMM.

HELL, YEAH. TONY GREASY.

THERE'S A WARRANT
OUT FOR YOUR ARREST.

WE'RE OUT OF HERE, NEAL.
HE'S BUSTED.

NO, BE FAIR, DUDES.

LET ME ENTER MY ROACH
GO BEFORE WE GO.

NO WAY, NEAL'S GOING
TO SIGN FOR HIM AT THE STATION.

PERSONAL PROPERTY
AT THE TIME OF ARREST.

DO YOU WANT SOMEONE
TO THINK WE STOLE HIM?

IT AIN'T RIGHT.

I GOT THAT ROCK-A-ROACH
RIGHT HERE.

YEAH.

JUST YOU AND ME, HUH?

AND A GREAT, BIG, FAT
DISGUSTING COCKROACH.

AND IF YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE
FOR LETTING MR. RIVERA GO,

WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE
HE ALLEGEDLY RAN DOWN?

AREN'T YOU RESPONSIBLE
FOR THOSE DEATHS TOO?

ACTUALLY, I THINK
THAT'S TOO SIMPLE. I THINK--

AND IT'S A CHEAP SHOT.
I APOLOGIZE, LIEUTENANT.

NOBODY CAN APOLOGIZE.

NOT YOU, OR ME,
OR CITY COUNCIL.

LOOK, PEOPLE WANT THINGS
THEY WON'T PAY FOR,

SO THEY'RE RESPONSIBLE TOO.

THEY PAY FOR POLICE PROTECTION,
DON'T THEY?

BUT NOT ENOUGH TO KEEP
THE BAD GUYS OFF THE STREET.

COUNCIL ANNOUNCES
A DRUG CRACK DOWN.

IT SOUNDS GREAT
ON A PIECE OF PAPER.

DO MORE. DO A LOT MORE.

BUT THERE'S NOT
ENOUGH COPS OR JUDGES

OR COURT ROOMS OR JAIL CELLS

OR HOURS IN A DAY
TO DO A LOT MORE.

SO EVERYTHING'S STILL GOT
TO BE A JUDGMENT CALL.

THE COPS ARE IN THE MIDDLE.
WE'LL ALWAYS BE IN THE MIDDLE.

ALL I'M SAYING IS THE PUBLIC

GETS WHAT IT'S WILLING
TO PAY FOR,

NOT WHAT IT WISHES FOR.

ANYBODY WHO TELLS THEM
ANY DIFFERENT,

THAT'S WHO'S
RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LIVES

SNUFFED OUT AT A DECKER AVENUE
BUS STOP THIS MORNING.

WHAT I HAVEN'T SAID

IS THAT LIEUTENANT GOLDBLUME
HAS BEEN SUSPENDED WITHOUT PAY

FOR SPEAKING HIS MIND,
FOR HIS MESSAGE TO CITY COUNCIL.

I THINK IT STINKS.

AND I WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND,
LIEUTENANT.

NEXT UP, DON GREGSON

WITH SOME TOUGH TALK
ABOUT SOFT FINGERNAILS

AND WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT THEM.

MAN: AND WE'RE CLEAR.

SENSATIONAL.

HENRY, THAT WAS SO GOOD.
YOU GAVE ME CHILLS.

NOT ONLY THAT,
COUNCILMAN KEARNEY JUST CALLED.

DON, KEARNEY'S PEOPLE
WERE WATCHING.

THEY WANT HIM TO COME OVER
AND TESTIFY BEFORE THE
SUBCOMMITTEE RIGHT NOW.

COME ON,
THE LIMO WILL RUN YOU OVER.

SO SHE'S ON THE TABLE
AND THE PLASTIC SURGEON SAYS,

"WAIT A MINUTE, WHO WANTS
THIS LIPOSUCTION, YOU OR HIM?"

- UH-OH.
- "HIM," SHE SAYS.

"HE'S THE ONE WHO CALLS ME
HIPPO HIPS,

"QUEEN OF THE CELLULITE,

AND HE'S THE ONE
WHO'S GOING TO PAY THE BILL."

WRONG ANSWER.

YEAH.
THE DOCTOR GETS REALLY ANGRY.

IT'S A SERIOUS PROCEDURE.
HIS MALPRACTICE IS UNBELIEVABLE,

AND HE WON'T JUST DO IT
FOR A BOYFRIEND.

SO WHAT'S NEW WITH JOYCE
SINCE I WAS UP HERE YESTERDAY?

YOU NEED SOMETHING, LIEUTENANT?

YOU KNOW, JOYCE?

COME ON, DON'T HOLD ME
IN SUSPENSE.

I MEAN, THIS IS BETTER
THAN STELLA DALLAS UP HERE.

WE HAVE SEVERAL JOYCES.

TO WHICH ONE ARE YOU REFERRING?

WE'VE GOT JOYCE HAYDASH.
WE'VE GOT JOYCE LIPNICK.

WE'VE GOT JOYCE DAVENPORT.

YEAH, SURE, RIGHT.

THE JOYCE THAT'S WHATCHAMACALLIT

BEHIND HER HUSBAND'S BACK,

AND SHE CAN'T STOP ON ACCOUNT
OF THE SMELL OF THE NEW GUY

STAYS IN HER NOSE LIKE A MEMORY.

OH, JOYCE LIPNICK.

WHAT GRACE UNDER PRESSURE.

HENRY, YOU LOOKED SUPERB.

I EVEN IMAGINED A TAN.

I FORGOT
TO TAKE THE MAKE-UP OFF.

I GUY OFFERED ME $15,000
FOR THE BOOK I'M WRITING,
HOWARD.

HMM.

NO DOUBT TO BE GHOSTED BY SOME
BEARDED, WHITE WINE LIBERAL,

IMPOSING VACILLATION
ON EVERY LINE.

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED
THE PROTECTION OF CO-AUTHORSHIP?

EXCUSE ME.

UH, HE'S HERE, CHIEF.
YEAH, I SHOULD TELL HIM.

COUNCIL TOOK A VOTE
AFTER YOU LEFT.

THEY APPROVED THREE NEW JUDGES,

40 ADDITIONAL CADETS
AT THE POLICE ACADEMY,

AND A STUDY
FOR A NEW REFORMATORY FACILITY.

UH-HUH.

YEAH. UH-HUH.

YEAH, I'LL TELL HIM TO DROP BY.
THANKS.

I AGREE,
UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

CHIEF IS DROPPING
YOUR SUSPENSION.

HE SAYS YOU ACTUALLY DID
US A SERVICE.

FRANK.

YES, HENRY?

ALL RIGHT!

WE'VE BEEN ASKING
FOR THAT STUFF ALL YEAR.

SON OF A GUN.
SON OF A GUN!

YOU DID IT.

YOU BEAT THE SYSTEM.

BUT I WAS WRONG.
DOESN'T IT KILL YOU?

I WAS WRONG,
AND YET I WAS RIGHT.

I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE,
SO I JUST WENT AHEAD.

IT HAD TO NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.
I WAS DETACHED.

I DIDN'T EVEN CARE,
AND WE MADE OUR POINT.

I EVEN ENJOYED IT. ME.

CHIEF WANTS TO SEE YOU
THIS AFTERNOON.

MY ADVICE IS
TO LISTEN AND NOD A LOT.

DON'T WORRY.

BOY...

FRANK, I CAUSED YOU TROUBLE.

IT WAS--I DIDN'T THINK
THERE WAS ANY OTHER WAY.

I'LL TAKE IT
THE WAY IT CAME OUT, HENRY.

I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.

BOY, WHAT A WEIGHT OFF OF ME.

LIEUTENANT, SOMEBODY WANTS
TO SEE YOU OUT HERE.

GO.

YOU'VE HEARD?

DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING
TO TELL ME?

CONFESSION, PERHAPS?

NEVER MIND THE WISECRACKS.

WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO DO ABOUT THE RUMORS, FURILLO?

I HAD ONE IDEA. FRIDAY NIGHT.
I KNOW YOU HAVE OTHER PLANS,

BUT WHY DON'T YOU JUST DROP THEM
AND GO OUT WITH ME.

MA'AM?

YOU'RE LIEUTENANT
HENRY GOLDBLUME?

YES, MA'AM.

YOU LET HIM GO!
HE KILLED MY MOTHER!
YOU LET HIM GO.

HOLD ON, HOLD ON.

ARE YOU OKAY, LIEUTENANT?

MAKE-UP.

FOR A MOMENT THERE,
IN THE CAPTAIN'S OFFICE...

TELL YA, HOWARD,

HAPPINESS
IS AN ELUSIVE COMMODITY.

LIEUTENANT,
I'VE CANCELLED MY OTHER PLANS.

SHE TOOK ME UP ON MY OFFER.

THEY'RE WONDERFUL SEATS, REALLY.

AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T BUY THEM,
YOU COULD HAVE JUST SOLD THEM.

SEVENTY-SIX BUCKS.

NORMAN,
YOU DIDN'T BUY THEM, DID YOU?

WHO ME? HEY, CAPTAIN.

THEN WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?

FRANK, WE SHOULD REIMBURSE HIM.

HEY, IT'S NO BIG DEAL AS LONG
AS YOU'RE GOING TO USE THEM.

NORMAN, IF YOU PAID
FOR THESE TICKETS,

THERE'S NO WAY I CAN TAKE THEM--

I DIDN'T, ALL RIGHT?

CAPTAIN, YOU WANT ME TO TAKE
A POLYGRAPH OR WHAT?

I MEAN, I JUST HAPPENED
TO HAVE THEM AROUND, ALL RIGHT?

OKAY, THANKS.

HEY, NO BIG DEAL.

JUST YOU TWO, YOU KNOW,

ENJOY YOURSELVES.

YES, EXCUSE ME, CAPTAIN, SIR,
AND MRS. FURILLO,

CAN I SPEAK TO YOU A MINUTE?

WHAT IS IT, ANDY?

WELL, SIR, IT'S ABOUT
THIS MOONLIGHTING SITUATION,
THESE NEW REGS?

SEE, TONIGHT WE WERE SUPPOSED
TO WORK ON THIS PARTY,

THIS REGGAE PARTY,
AND IT'S THE RAVERS AND ALL,

AND WE THOUGHT THE WAY--

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

OUTSIDE JOBS ARE
OUT AS OF TODAY.

WE INTERPRETED IT TO--

IT'S A RULE
THAT JUST CAME DOWN, ANDY.

SINCE IT'S A RULE,
LET'S JUST FOLLOW IT, OKAY?

OKAY. GOOD NIGHT, CAPTAIN.

[DOOR CLOSES]

BY THE WAY,

WHO WERE YOU GOING
ON THAT YAK WEEKEND WITH ANYWAY?

HEY, IT'S COMING ON.

FLAHERTY, WHERE
ARE YOU SNEAKING OFF TO?

I'M NOT SNEAKING OFF.

HEY, QUIET EVERYBODY.

J.D., ARE YOU GOING TO BUY US
ALL SOME CHEESE STEAKS
AFTER YOU WIN THIS THING?

- OH, YEAH.
- IF WE WIN.

STATION W105 ROCK,

HAD A BEAUTY CONTEST WITH
THE WINNER WORTH $1,005.

AND HERE SHE IS,
STRUTTING HER STUFF.

- HEY, LOOK.
- YEAH, IT'S A COCKROACH.

NEAL. NEAL, IT'S OURS.
WE WON!

$1,005.

OUR CONGRATULATIONS
TO MR. FUGALLISI'S
SEVENTH GRADE CLASS FROM--

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

IT'S FIXED.

THEY DIDN'T CATCH IT.
THEY GREW IT.

WE'VE GOT A LEGITIMATE
PROTEST HERE.

NEAL, WE CAN FIGHT THIS.

SOME OTHER TIME, J.D.

SO, SERGEANT BATES,
IS SHE SEEING ANYBODY REGULAR?

WHO DO YOU THINK?

SIT.

SIT.

THAT'S IT.

NO. NO.

THAT'S A GOOD DOG.

I'M GLAD WE HAD
THAT LITTLE TALK.

MICK, ARE YOU COMING TO BED?

YEAH, I WAS JUST WALKING
THE DOG.

I ALREADY LET HIM OUT.

- YOU DID?
- YEAH, IN THE BACK.

[BARKS]

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

[WHINING]

I'M THINKING I'M GOING TO MAKE
YOU A BIG BREAKFAST TOMORROW.

COOKING?

IS THAT SOMETHING ELSE
YOU'RE GOOD AT?

WHEN YOU'RE GOOD, YOU'RE GOOD.

PATRICK...

I DON'T WANT
YOU TO MAKE ME BREAKFAST.

I MEAN, I DON'T--

I DON'T THINK
I WANT YOU TO STAY OVER.

DO YOU MIND?

IT'S NOT A QUESTION
DO I MIND OR DON'T I MIND.

IT'S JUST THAT I'VE GOT
THIS MORNING ROUTINE.

YOU KNOW, I WAKE UP.

IT'S QUIET.

I LIKE IT.

I'M KIND OF FUNNY ABOUT IT.

YOU DON'T THINK
I'VE GOT A MORNING ROUTINE?

OKAY.

OKAY.

SO DO WE SLEEP A LITTLE NOW?

OR DO I HOP UP LIKE--

- STAY A LITTLE.
- PUT MY SHOES ON--

STAY A LITTLE.

THEN GO?

THEN GO.

YOU WERE REALLY GOOD
ON THE SHOW TODAY.

THAT WAS NICE DINNER.

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE WHAT ATTRACTS ME TO YOU

IS THE FACT THAT YOU TAKE
IT ALL ON YOURSELF.

DOT.

WELL...

GOOD NIGHT.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES,
ENGINE STARTS]

DOT: I'LL WAIT.

DON'T. PLEASE, JUST GO, OKAY?
PLEASE.

[CAR DRIVES OFF]

HELLO.

YEAH.

WELL, I'D FORGET ABOUT IT,
HENRY.

I'D PUT IT RIGHT OUT OF MY MIND.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?

I WOULDN'T COME IN
UNTIL NOON TOMORROW.

YEAH.

[SIREN IN DISTANCE]