Hill Street Blues (1981–1987): Season 6, Episode 17 - Larry of Arabia - full transcript
Frank convalesces at home. Fabian's mother tries to hit up Lucy for more money. Buntz appears on a court TV show. LaRue and Washington get in trouble when they botch a federal gun-running investigation.
- Forgive me, Graham,
but that's damn nonsense,
and I won't be a party to it.
I'm not angry.
I'm sure that you do.
Fine, sure. Talk to you soon.
- What did Graham have in mind?
- Press coverage of
my returning to work.
- Even without a
media entourage,
I'm not so sure going back
to work after only three weeks
is such a hot idea, Furillo.
- I'll take it easy.
- You know, I would give
you more of an argument
if you weren't so
restless at home.
- Have I been a lousy patient?
- We were very glad to have you.
Cold cuts in the
refrigerator for lunch,
if you change your mind.
- Thank you.
- Easy does it, Furillo.
- Easy does it.
- Item 7, assignments
and operations.
Lieutenant Buntz is gonna
be taking a personal day today.
He's gonna be on a TV show.
Yeah. He was
witness to an accident,
and instead of going to court,
they're gonna
settle it on television.
- This I gotta see.
Buntz is gonna be on TV?
- Lieutenant's on
"Tell it to the Judge"?
- He says that
they're taping today,
but it's not gonna be on for
a couple of months, I guess.
Oh, anyway, the point
is that Detective Smelker
is replacing the lieutenant
at the Complement
Hardware stakeout.
Marshall and Reizer
are at the Hubba-Hubba
Lounge, 116 and Jerome.
Mick Belker is at
Nicholson's Loan Mart,
where we got reports
they're buying stolen property.
Here's a last personal item.
Captain Furillo is threatening
to come back to work.
- Now, people, people.
Let's be aware that
this is an individual
recuperating from major
surgery 21 days ago.
Now, I'm not suggesting
that all approaches
be cleared through me,
but let's use our heads.
The Captain's always
had an open door policy,
but let's be bright
about not overusing it.
All right, Item 8,
possible new vehicles.
- This is one test unit.
It's being loaned to the
department for trial use.
- Well, boy howdy, anyway.
- Well, I had assigned
to you and Hill, Andy.
What's the matter? Is
Bobby sick or something?
- No, he's late for work.
- Okay, Hill and Renko get
it for trial operation today.
Now, these trials are going
on throughout the department,
and assuming that
the returns are good,
maybe we'll all have new
units on the road by spring.
- Stan?
- Okay, that's it!
- Hey, Stan?
- Let's have a safe shift.
- Stan?
- Oh, wait, wait.
Wait a minute. Lieutenant?
- People, poker isn't gonna
work at my place tonight.
I got a little plumbing problem.
- Hey, Casa Coffey.
- I pay for refreshments.
- If you're coming in
to kibitz, go to a movie.
- Same time, Joseph?
- Yeah.
- Okay. Poker at
7:30 at Joe Coffey's.
Now let's go. They're
getting away out there.
- You know any good
plumbers, Howard?
- Well, without tooting
my own trumpet, Henry,
I must confess that I'm rather
handy at household repairs.
I handle all those
chores myself.
- So that's a no.
- You know, I wonder if any
research has ever been done
on your tribe's extreme
ineptitude in that whole area.
- What whole area?
- Oh, you know,
clean-up, paint-up, fix-up.
- It's a myth, Howard.
Holds as much water
as any other stereotype.
- Sorry I'm late,
Renko. Traffic.
- We get to test
drive a new unit.
You shaved off your moustache.
- Yeah.
- Hey, Bobby, the poker
game's at my place tonight.
- I thought it was
Goldblume's night.
- No, he's got problems
with his plumbing. Be there.
- You look cute.
- Hey, Norm.
- Hey, hey, hey!
Will you read my lips?
I'm on personal time.
- Norman, this is
exactly the kind of attitude
why I'm considering taking
my services to Polk Avenue.
Now, I am developing
a doubleheader.
Counterfeit money
for stolen weapons.
I would like a little
positive reinforcement.
- Give me your wallet.
- Ooh, stocking stuffer.
Norm, you're taking money out.
- Yeah. Here's your
inspiration, hmm?
Now come back to me when
you got something. I'm late.
- The man is a
motivational genius.
- We have a 9-11.
Armed robbery in progress.
See Surplus Store
corner of Peebles
Drive and 124th street.
- Yeah, it's your
lucky day, slick,
so I'm not popping you.
- Say what?
- I'm saying no arrest.
Take off. You're outta here.
- Wait a minute. You
forgetting about something?
- And when I see you
downtown, you can believe me,
there's gonna be
more to talk about.
So outta here. Get outta here.
Get lost.
Jeez.
He's a real deep
thinker, you know.
You give him a break,
and the moron just stands there.
- Luce?
- Excuse me, Joe.
Lucy, here's that
40 you asked me for.
You sure you can let me
have it back by Monday?
I got a car payment coming due.
- No problem. I really
appreciate the help.
- Mick, Mick?
Detective Belker's the
one that you wanna talk to.
- Oh, actually, I'm in a...
- My name is Elizabeth Mies.
I live at 1110 Carol Gardens
in the back apartment.
Three weeks and four
days ago, I was broken into
and lost my toaster and
some other household items.
- Actually, I'm not sure
why Sergeant Jablonski...
- The stuff is in a
pawn shop window
on Utica and 121st Street.
I wrote the name
down. Here. It's...
- Nicholson's Loan Mart.
- Oh, how did you know that?
- Well, we know that pawn shop
receives stolen
merchandise, see?
So I'm going over
there right now
to work there to catch
the people who are doing it,
and what you have
to do is make a list.
Everything you lost...
- Well, they got
my electric knife,
which I really don't use.
I don't cook so much
now now that I'm alone.
And when I do, you know,
my regular knife is just as nice.
- So you wanna give
the list to Sergeant...
- They got a radio which
doesn't have any batteries
and some other stuff.
But it's the toaster
oven I miss the most.
- I know.
- You know, in the morning,
I come into the kitchen.
I like to have my rye
toast with melted cheese.
- Excuse me, Mrs. Mies.
I have to go to Nicholson's now.
- Do you know how I know
that the toaster oven
they got there is mine?
- No, I don't. How?
- I asked them to show it to me.
Here. You give me your hand.
Caraway seeds from my toast.
- Bingo.
- Plus, I recognized it anyway.
You're gonna let me know
when you make the arrest?
- Oh, I'm gonna be in touch.
- I'm gonna wait
to hear from you.
- Okay.
- Shut up, Joe.
What's the matter?
- That 50 you borrowed from me
for Fabian's shoes and sneaks?
- Yeah, what?
- Well, I didn't see
him wearing them yet.
- It was raining on Saturday.
We couldn't go shopping.
- Yeah. Did my money go
where Jablonski's money's going?
- I don't know what
you're saying now.
You're making me crazy.
- Hey, my man.
What's going on, huh?
- Hey!
- Joe!
- We got the money
you came by for.
- Hey! You don't
have to shout it, baby.
- Yeah? He knows what
I'm talking about, Luce.
Where is she? Where's
the kid's mother?
- Joe, let's go
back to the unit.
Please, right now.
- You're a pimp.
What, are you and her
shaking Luce down or what?
- You ain't gonna find Tracy
smashing my face into this wall.
- What do you mean,
Tracy? Who's Tracy?
- Tracy. That's
what he calls her.
Now, let him go right now, Joe.
Let him go!
- You wanna find the lady?
I'll take you to the lady.
- Come on. Just come on.
- See, like Tracy and me
in the middle of something.
- Yeah, whatever it is,
we're gonna straighten
it out right now, pal.
- Joe? You know
you don't have to.
You don't know everything
that's going on here.
- Hey.
- What do you want?
- What happened to you?
- They cut her with a razor.
And show 'em your side, too.
They cut her there, too.
That's why she can't work.
- All right. Well,
just listen to me.
Luce's not gonna pay
you any more money.
The two of you
made an agreement.
- How's she supposed
to take care of herself?
- Shut up.
Now you can get
an honest job or not.
You can clean up or not.
But she's not paying you
any more shakedown money
so she can take
care of your kid.
- It seems to me that we
ought to hear from your friend.
- Hey, you can hear
it from me, okay?
- Hey, take it easy.
- You're hearing
it from both of us.
It's over.
- Then what you
standing around here for?
- Let's get outta here.
- Tell me the truth, Renko.
You think I look any younger
without my moustache?
- I cannot think
about that right now.
- Whoa! Sure seems top heavy.
- Yeah? Well, I'm feeling
kind of bottom heavy.
Do you think you could
pull this unit over, please?
- What?
- Pull it over, Robert.
- Wait a minute.
What's the matter?
- I am telling you, brother,
Mother Nature is calling me,
and she's calling
me with a bullhorn.
Now pull it over!
I warned you
about bran muffins
in the morning.
- Daryl Ann, how can you
do this to the man you love?
- Happens every time.
- Oh. Sir, I don't know
how to say this to you,
but if you're here
on an optional visit,
I am here on a
command performance.
Sir, if you're having a
problem getting started,
I'll give you $2.00 here.
I just need a second,
but I need it now.
I need it now.
Sir, I am a police officer,
and you at least owe me
the courtesy of answering me.
All right, I have no
choice but to bust in there.
Oh, Lord, this man has expired.
Sir, I hate to treat your
moment of demise like this,
I really do,
but I have to do
my duty as I see fit.
- Now anything iffy,
remember, you say
"to the best of my
knowledge and recollection."
That way, they don't
nail you for perjury.
- 90 seconds to air.
Scherholtz versus Schipp.
- Yo.
- Okay, now wait until
your case is introduced,
then move as quickly as you
can to your position on the set.
And don't look at the camera.
- Johnny One-Note.
- Excuse me. Do we
have to sit next to this man?
He has threatened my dog's life.
- Well, as soon as the
people move onto the set,
there'll be plenty of room.
- I was wondering, since
my witness couldn't come,
is it fair for him to have his?
- Please, Ms. Schipp.
- That ain't how it
works, Ms. Schipp.
- Sir, here. Could
you please put this on?
- What's that for?
- That's so your tie
doesn't blind 50,000 people.
Blue?
You got no shot, pal.
- All right, let it go.
45 seconds.
- Hey, don't I know you?
- No.
- Yeah, Jerry
Weatherspoon, right?
You used to work over at
Appellate with Judge Greenberg?
- I don't think so.
- Wait a minute.
Something's all
coming back to me now.
I see some kind of show
and tell at the court lavatory?
- That was never proved.
- Excuse me. Jerry?
- Your Honor?
- Does the judge
know about this, Jer?
- Give me a break, will
you? I got a nice gig here.
Come on, Les.
- Cue the intro.
- For the next hour,
your living room
becomes the
courtroom of Harold Pyle.
Here in a forum alternative
to the legal system,
but obeying its
rules and procedures,
real people come before
a distinguished retired jurist
to seek settlement
of real disputes.
Based on Judge Pyle's findings,
successful litigants receive
appropriate cash awards.
For the next 60 minutes,
you are going to
see the law in action.
These are not actors.
- 20% for me.
- You will see the
actual participants...
- These mics are on.
- In these real life dramas.
- Go. Go.
- And you will hear their
stories in their own words...
- Go!
- Get your hands off me.
- And unrehearsed.
- Don't look at the camera.
- And you'll know why,
when you've exhausted
your other remedies,
you should demand
to tell it to the judge.
First on Judge Pyle's docket,
the case of the
distracted driver.
- No wallet, no ID,
no visible marks.
- Probably a coronary.
- Well, briefcase
hooked to his wrist.
He must be some kind of courier.
- Well, if he was a legit
courier, he'd have ID.
This guy's wrong.
- We'll write this up, guys.
- I'm not real impressed
with that new unit of ours.
Let's go.
- Uh, J. D., I think
maybe one of them keys
might open that briefcase there.
- Is that right,
Andy? One of these?
- Yeah, the little
one might open it up.
- No kidding?
- Yeah, and if you open it up,
I think you might find that it
contains a great deal of money.
- Whoo!
You psychic, Renko,
or did you break
into the evidence?
- Looks like you were very busy
before you came out
and got me, Renko.
- All right, now just a minute.
Now listen to me right now.
Every once in a while,
a person has to exercise
individual initiative.
If you look at that
piece of paper there,
you're gonna find it
has a phone number
that might be the
contact number for this...
- Is this a fixed bet, Renko?
You already call this number?
- No, I did not.
- Uh-huh.
- Hey, J.D., you
know the rules, man.
You know you gotta wait
for the coroner's inventory.
- Hey, Renko's
got a point, okay?
This could be big.
What hurt is there in
dialing a random number?
Yeah, who's this?
Who am I?
I'm sitting here
in Toppings Diner.
I been sitting here half
the morning is who I am.
No, I'm not waiting
here. No way.
How about 1 P.M.?
Philly's. Philly's
Steak and Hoagie.
You gonna bring the stuff?
Well, obviously it's
too big to bring inside.
Right. All right. I'm
gonna wait five minutes.
Nobody shows, I'm
gone and school's out.
They're on. We're
in for the buy.
- What are they selling?
- I don't know. It's just
too big to bring into Philly's.
- Lieutenant Renko,
Detective Renko.
- Convict Renko.
- I can't make it make
sense to you, Joe.
I guess I was afraid
that if it went into court,
they'd say I didn't
deserve Fabian.
I told you it didn't make sense.
Now I try and explain to you
and you call me crazy.
- I'm not calling you crazy.
- And you're sitting
there shaking your head.
- Yeah, because I
think it's really sad
that you don't feel like you
have the right to be happy.
- Where'd you get that idea?
- And you do deserve it, Luce.
And you don't have
to go skunking around
being afraid
that jerks like that
are gonna come along
and take it away from you.
- I filled out all the
guardian papers,
but I just never...
- Let's go file them.
- They're at home.
They're at the apartment.
- Yeah, we'll go get 'em.
- 2203, on personal time.
- 2203, copy.
- Come here.
Thanks, Joe.
- It's no problem.
- See, how about
something like this?
This is nice. 12
carats, nickel backing.
- It says "Carla".
Her name's Fanice.
- Any engraver can change that.
- Where's Gupta at?
- Can she try it on?
- Sure.
- I told you, no
deliveries after 3:00.
- Well, the security
guard says he wants 500
to open the door
for us, Mr. Gupta.
- No way.
- Then forget it.
You ain't getting
no delivery, man.
- Mike, ring up $250
for my friend, huh?
- No, the guard says 500.
- He'll take 250.
- Ring it up under sale?
- Do I tell you to
ring it up under sale?
Do what I tell you, Mike.
- 250.
250.
- I ain't guaranteeing
he's gonna take this.
- Then you ain't gonna
get your taste either, huh?
So sell him on
the two and a half.
How's it coming here?
- It's coming very
good, Mr. Gupta.
- She's gonna need
one more looser.
- Mike is gonna find
the right bracelet for you.
I'll be in the back.
- Okay.
Can I help you?
Excuse me a minute.
What are you doing
here, Mrs. Mies?
- You never called me.
- Come here a minute.
- Arrest that man right now.
He stole my items.
I'll testify to it in court.
- I know you will,
but, see, we gotta get him
on a few other things, too.
Will you trust me?
Will you go home?
Because it's very
dangerous in here.
- That's why I'm whispering.
- I'm gonna call you as
soon as we get anything.
- When?
- Very soon, dear, okay?
Now I gotta go back and
sell some bracelets. Goodbye.
- Okay.
- Bye.
Mmm.
- A, you shouldn't have
opened the briefcase
prior to the M.E's arrival.
B, you're asking me to authorize
the use of evidence
as buy money.
That okay is supposed
to come from Division.
- Window on this stays open
another 45 minutes, Lieutenant.
I don't meet those guys at
that hoagie place by then,
it's sayonara to the whole deal.
- When's the last time Division
planned anything in 45 minutes?
- If I okay, I'm
complicit in the violation.
- Hell of a get-well
card for the captain.
40 grand in contraband, wrong
guys on both ends of the deal.
- Do it. Inventory and
requisition of contents.
- Right.
- Promotions all around.
- Bobby, you and Andy on backup.
- Right.
- Plainclothes?
- Yes.
- Good.
- Lieutenant, Sal
Binachi, line two.
- Thanks.
- Sarge, Luce and I are gonna
take a couple extra hours.
- What's going on
today? You two eloping?
- How'd you know?
We're gonna be
buying some rings.
"So I left the applications
at home, Joe."
- I said I knew they were
either at home or in my locker,
one or the other.
- And, Your Honor, I
just wanna say one thing.
Ever since the accident,
I keep having nightmares.
- I have now heard from
the plaintiff in this case.
Mr. Scherholtz, I understand
you brought a witness?
- My uncle was with me.
- Can we have the
witness, please?
- Now comes Lieutenant
Norman Buntz of Metro Police.
Lieutenant Buntz is
the uncle of the plaintiff.
The judge has ruled
on the admissibility of
the following evidence.
- Lieutenant, would you
tell us what happened
on the night in question?
- Oh, sure thing.
Where? Here?
Over here? Okay.
Lester and I were returning
from the Hofbrau House
on account of they do a
nice thing there for pre-Lent.
- I had one beer maybe, total.
- That's right. That's
correct. One beer.
So we were proceeding
northbound up Portland.
And then, well, basically,
Les couldn't see it, of course,
'cause he was paying
attention to his driving.
The defendant, Ms. Schipp
over there, comes flying at us.
No horns, no brakes, boom.
A rear-ender and we go
dribbling out into the intersection.
- In other words, Ms. Schipp
seemed to be failing
to pay attention.
- Oh, yeah.
- I was too paying attention.
His taillights weren't working.
- My taillights were
working fine, Your Honor.
- The police said they weren't.
- Sure, after the accident.
After she smashed them.
- My fiancé Roger saw it.
It's in his statement.
- Your fiancé saw
what, Ms. Schipp?
Judge, that statement
from the fiancé is a crock.
- All right, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant, on what basis
are you impeaching
the supporting affidavit
of Ms. Schipp's fiancé?
- On the basis at the
time of the accident,
the defendant's fiancé's head
was not visible in
the other vehicle.
And in my opinion, at said time,
he probably was engaged
in some unnatural sex act.
- Cut! Cut! Unnatural sex act?
- Yeah. That's why his
statement's a pile of bull.
He couldn't see
nothing from his angle.
- Unnatural sex
act? Are you crazy?
This is an afternoon show.
- Well, great. That don't make
what he was doing natural.
- My mother is
going to hear this.
My mom is gonna
hear what he just said?
- Five minutes, Your Honor.
- Five.
- Lieutenant?
- Yeah?
- So how's the patient?
- Well, I was
thinking of going in
for a half day this afternoon.
- Thank God I'm not talking
from experience, Frank.
That sounds like pushing it.
- I'll take it easy.
- Hell of a streaky
thing, isn't it, Frank?
- What?
- Life.
I mean, now that
you've survived,
it's pretty obvious this
whole shooting business
has only strengthened your
hand in terms of career choices.
- Yeah, I guess I'm on a roll.
- Whereas my own
options keep narrowing.
Whoa!
- Oh, the coffee
a little too strong?
- No, no, it's good. It's fine.
Actually, I think
I'll try a little milk.
Here, huh? I'll get it.
The Crime Institute.
Their search committee
has decided to hold off
on recommending
me for that consultancy.
They think I still have
exposure on this Keenan mess.
That could throw
quite a monkey wrench
into a lot of
peoples' future plans,
not least, your own.
- What's on your mind, Chief?
- You were the chief
inquisitor on Keenan.
Those are the findings
that the search
committee is uneasy about.
- I'm not gonna recant.
- There's no one
ringing a bell, Frank.
I understand that.
But a letter of explanation
for their eyes only.
Frank, I'm looking
for a place to fall.
- I'll detail the
panel's findings
and I'll give you the letter.
You decide whether to send it.
- I hope you remember
there are ways and ways
of saying the same thing.
- No preconditions, Chief.
- No preconditions. Agreed.
So you're thinking
about going in later on?
- If I feel up to it.
- Well, don't push it, Frank.
Easy does it.
- I'll take it easy.
- How you doing? I'm Dipitris.
- I'm bored. How
about we just do it?
- All right. We can walk.
It's not far.
Hey.
- He comes or I go home.
- So you like
company. No problem.
You know, if this goes
good, maybe we get regular.
- So far, I got nothing, huh?
- What happened this
morning, I'm not at fault.
You're not at fault.
- Yeah, yeah, it's
a no-fault state.
Neal, make sure
that door don't close.
- Yeah, sure. Man
the doors, Neal.
I even got you a truck,
and the rental's on me.
- Yeah, right.
- Here's the menu.
There is the main course.
- Ooh. You set a
nice table, Mr. Dipitris.
- Freeze! Federal
Bureau of Investigation!
You're under arrest!
- Hold it right there!
- Hey, just be cool.
- Okay, out!
- Please, don't shoot.
- You guys are Feds?
You're making a mistake...
- Shut up. We'll do the talking.
- Who are you?
- These guys are city cops, sir.
- We all are.
- I don't believe this.
- All right, men. Back off.
You have destroyed a
carefully orchestrated
and costly federal
investigation.
- Hey, you just did
the same thing to us.
- Hey, J.D.
- The hell with it.
He wants to get
into name-calling.
Now, we got months
involved with this.
- Hey, come on.
- Look, it seems obvious
that you must have
taken that briefcase
from Muammar's courier.
- Could be.
- Just please tell me
that the man is
still in your custody.
- We don't work like that.
- You released him.
- I don't need him.
I know where he is.
I know what he's doing.
He picks his nose, I'm
the first to hear about it.
- I want Muammar.
- So do I, only I'm
close, you're not.
Now, I could be
open to something.
- The man is an arms supplier
for international terrorists.
What conceivable reasons could
you have for investigating him?
- Sure, you Feds,
you got the corner
on major crime, huh?
Oh, the hell with this.
You're so sharp, you find him.
- Look, if Muammar could
be remanded to my custody
within, say, eight
hours, I'd be impressed.
- Impressed? I don't
know what that means.
- Well, for one thing,
you wouldn't have to consider
a midlife career change.
- He's yours.
- Look, you're not going to
say unnatural sex, period.
- Come on. I thought you
people wanted the truth.
- Lieutenant, isn't it correct
you couldn't actually
see in Ms. Schipp's car
below window level?
I mean, her fiancé
could just as easily
have been fixing the
velcro on the floor mats.
- Are you kidding me?
- No, I'm not kidding you.
Your prior speculation
is inadmissible. Strike it.
- That's right. Strike
it. Strike it and edit it.
- Your intent is to impeach Ms.
Schipp's passenger as a witness.
Why don't you just simply
say that you didn't see him,
and therefore, he
couldn't have seen you,
and get on with the testimony?
- All right.
- All right.
We're rolling,
everybody. Action.
- You say Ms. Schipp's passenger
is an unreliable witness
to the accident circumstances,
Lieutenant. How so?
- How so? He was bent
over in the front seat.
Heaven only knows what
he was doing down there.
- Right, Captain.
I wouldn't push it.
No, sure. I'll have that
on your desk by 3:00.
Okay, then we might
see you later then, huh?
- Here's your keys, Lieutenant.
- That's fine. So?
- I'll give you my guesstimate.
That's a two,
three day job, easy.
- How much?
- 2,200, 2,500,
something like that.
Don't hold me to it.
- Don't hold you to it? Is
that your estimate or what?
- Well, once I start
rooting around,
who knows where that goes?
- All right.
- And I don't know
who you had up there
fooling around, Lieutenant,
but if you want my opinion,
someone tried to
move that fixture
back off the wall
with a crowbar.
- Previous tenant.
- Well, whoever, they
screwed up real good.
- I do not know why in the world
you had to come on so
strong to that FBI guy, J.D.
- How about I was trying
to save our jobs, Renko?
Buy us a little time?
- Now how we gonna find
what's-his-name, Muammar?
- What do you expect
me to do, Andy, huh,
roll over and die?
- Uh-oh. Bad news.
- What?
- Leave the force now,
you kiss your pension
contributions adios.
No vesting.
- I am telling you right now,
we cannot and will not be fired.
As your PBA rep,
I say suspensions,
possible demotions probable,
but being fired
is highly unlikely.
- Gentlemen?
- Hey, Sidney.
- Sid? Sid. Sid!
Do you know any
Arab gun dealers?
- No, but I do know a tube steak
who's trying to pass himself
off as an Arab gun dealer.
- You do?
- Yeah. His name is Larry.
He's a third-rate counterfeiter.
I tried to interest Norman
in him this morning,
but he was too involved
with his television career.
- Sid, you are beautiful.
- From certain angles.
- Come here.
- Hey, take it easy.
- Okay, that's everything.
- Hon, you're
missing the blue form.
- Oh, the blue...
Oh, yeah, I'm...
- I'm sorry. I can't take
this without the blue form.
- What if I... I'll just bring
the blue form in because...
- No. It has to all be
together. I'm sorry.
- Well, let me just leave this
here now with you and I can...
- I can't take care
of this, ma'am.
You'll have to
bring it altogether.
- I'll bring it back later.
- Hey, what's wrong?
What's the matter?
- I don't have the blue forms.
I guess I left 'em in my locker.
- You're such a jerk.
- I forgot, okay, Joe? I forgot.
- Can she mail 'em in?
- Regulations
require all applications
must be presented
in a completed form.
- Okay, so I'll come
back on Monday.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
She has everything else, right?
How long does it
take for these papers
to get to Social Services
once they leave here?
- What do you mean, how long?
- I mean, it takes time
to process 'em, right?
I mean, you're not gonna
send 'em over this afternoon.
- On average, 10 working days.
- Well, couldn't you start
processing the application
and we'll mail the document in?
- I explained to you
I can't do that, sir.
- Miss, I wouldn't
ask you to do this
if it wasn't really important.
- Another thing,
mail applications
are received at another office.
- No problem. Look, we'll
just address the envelope
and we'll make it
special attention to you.
I'm a city employee, too,
and I can get
mail at the precinct
if I give my badge number.
- She'll have to address
it to Mrs. Johnson.
Municipal Employee Number 735.
- You are an angel,
Mrs. Johnson.
- Thank you.
- And she gotta get it here
by no later than Tuesday.
- Tuesday.
- You are official now.
- Oh, wait a minute.
She's gotta pay the cashier.
Window Nine.
- Thank you.
- Fellas, you're gonna
make me nauseous.
- You sure about this guy?
- Detective, Muammar
is Larry Buckholtz.
- Ain't no way his pitch to
those FBI guys was for real?
- No.
- He has no Middle
East arms contact?
- Larry ran scam
junkets to the Holy Land.
He probably picked
up a little Arabic.
Fellas, he was showing
these guys counterfeit paper.
He was gonna sell any
pieces he bought on the street.
- Now you listen to me, haircut.
Our entire careers
are riding on this,
so you better be right.
- Oh, yeah, like
we got a choice.
- Let's go talk to Muammar.
- The guy's living here?
- Yeah. Guess he moved out
of his car when he struck it rich.
- Well, you want
us to go with you?
- No, we can handle it.
- Listen, don't
underestimate this guy.
- We should be so lucky.
- Yo, Larry, baby!
You in there, man?
- Police!
- Hey, there he goes!
- Where?
- Behind the boxes.
- Come here.
- Hey, man, what is this?
- You tell us, Muammar.
- Muammar? Come on!
- Hey, you see that?
That's what we said. Muammar.
Kind of weird for a
street punk named Larry.
- The papers keep saying
he's buying guns from you,
whole shipments of
illegal arms from Muammar,
AKA packrat,
counterfeiter, scam artist.
- What scam sale? Name it!
- Look, my man,
you have heaved enough
crap our way already.
- Are you referring
to my merchandise?
- What'd you do, steal it?
- I bought it, man. I bought it.
- With that funny money
you been running off?
That the deal, Larry?
- Oh, deal Deal, deal, deal.
Oh, you wanna know
all about the deal.
Okay, I'll tell you
all about the deal,
only it ain't my deal.
I didn't have
nothing to do with it.
- Hey, calm down, man.
- Jimmy G. Jimmy G.
He's the one that had the deal.
See, he's the one who
had the place, man.
It was his place.
That's who's deal it was.
Only Jimmy G. is gone,
man. He's gone on upstate.
- Slow. Now you slow down.
- Benjies, hundreds,
and I used to help him run
'em off now every now and then.
That's all I did, honest to God.
Only when he went upstate,
man, I run off a couple of loads.
That was my mistake.
- That was one of 'em.
Come on.
- Caught the...
- Come on.
- Al Luta, Al Ali-baba.
That's Arabic, yeah.
I picked it up from
this Muslim dude
that I was celled with
over on Michigan Avenue.
- Some guys you
can't get talking.
This one you can't shut up.
That means that I
am of royal blood
and I have made my
pilgrimage to Mecca.
- Can you believe
they went for this guy?
- Yeah, yeah. One
thing I got to say, man.
When I'm out here
hustling, I am believable.
- Now you guys see
the problem, don't you?
- Yeah, that he's crazy.
Let the Feds worry about.
- Feds? What Feds?
- Right.
They bought him before.
- God knows how.
- Hey, what are you guys
talking about now, man?
- Trouble is, they realize
we slipped them a hummer,
they're gonna
hold us responsible.
That's how the Feds operate.
If they take a fall,
they're not taking it alone.
They'll drag us down with 'em.
- Hey, what are you
guys talking about?
The Feds set me up now?
- Well, what are we gonna do?
- I don't know.
We're in the soup.
- You? What about me?
- Rolling. Home stretch, folks.
- Judge Pyle has
returned with his verdict.
- All rise.
- What do you think?
- Spend the money.
- A finding in this case
depends on assessing
the likely veracity
of the competing
versions of the incidents.
We have heard allegations
that the defendant, Ms.
Schipp, was inattentive.
We have also heard that
Mr. Scherholtz had been drinking
and that his taillights
were not functioning.
While this is a close call,
the court finds a likely
preponderance of merit
in the contentions of the
defendant, Naomi Schipp.
- Are you freaking kidding me?
This is a joke here,
huh? This is ridiculous.
No, no. First of all,
you don't let the people
say what really happened,
and then you kangaroo
through the verdict.
Why don't you subpoena
the carpet muncher, huh?
- Could you keep your mouth shut
long enough for him
to say "Next case?"
- Hey, Your Honor,
what happened, huh?
Did she promise you some turn
on the floor mats with her, huh?
- You're about to blow your
appearance fee, my friend.
- Which one of these
creeps you related to?
- We have a finish, folks.
We have corridor follow-up.
- Oh, jeez, I can't wait.
- Not you. You are finished.
- Great job, Lieutenant.
- Oh, yeah, please.
Crack wise with me, Jerry, huh?
'Cause it's gonna
take a whole lot
for me to clean
your clock, right?
- I don't know what that is.
Now, maybe that's
those 17 jewels
rattling around in there.
- Gentle with the piece, man.
A Rolex ain't indestructible.
- Junk. 6 bucks.
- It's a $1,200 watch in
the fine jewelry stores.
- Gupta in the back?
Tell him I got the rest of
his poppers on the truck,
and I'm bringing 'em in.
Give me the 6, man.
- $6.00.
- And skip the receipt.
- Do I pay you to mind other
peoples' business, Mike?
- No. I was just seeing where
you wanted the popcorn makers.
- We're closed.
- Put your hands up.
- What are you doing?
- Don't argue
with the old broad.
Just do like she says.
- You. I want that toaster oven,
the one on the second shelf.
- Put the gun down, lady.
- The hell I will.
- Put the gun down.
- You trying to get us killed?
- I'm a police officer.
You're under arrest.
Get down on the floor. Move!
Hands behind your head.
- We captured him.
- Here's the
unsuccessful plaintiff.
Excuse me, sir.
May we have your reaction
to Judge Pyle's verdict?
- Naturally, I thought it should
have gone the other way.
Guess I have to admit the
defendant's prettier than I am.
- Possibly we haven't seen
our last motion for the case yet.
- Oh, you know,
you're a real moron.
You get just what
you deserve, yeah.
- Cut! Will you shut
your damn mouth?
- Hey, how about I
shut your eyes, huh?
- Get security, please!
- Hey, hey, hey, forget it, pal.
Don't worry. We're outta here.
Come on. Where do we
go to pick your dough?
- They said they'd
mail it to me.
- Hey, I don't know
if I helped you, kid.
- How do you explain
that nothing in Division files
even remotely
suggests that your people
are involved in an
investigation of this arms dealer?
- Not everything goes
through Division, Mr. Saunders.
- Are you telling
me the investigation
is being carried out
under your direction?
For the man responsible,
you seem totally uninformed.
- I won't comment on
the actions of my officers
until I've heard
their explanation.
- And when is that gonna be?
- Soon.
- Hey, where you been?
- Mailed the form.
Mailbox out front
has an early pickup.
- All right.
- Do you want me
to bring anything by
for the game tonight?
- Money. Just money, pal.
I gotta go get some beer.
You wanna come with me?
- Yeah.
Hey, Joe?
Thanks for everything.
- How's that new unit
been treating you?
- I got kind of
detoured today, Sarge.
Couldn't make a
real good impression.
- Well, it's gotta be better
than those rattletraps
we got on the road now.
- Well, it did seem to
be a little top heavy.
- Well, we gotta have
the report in by tomorrow.
- Okay, we'll turn
it in tomorrow.
- If we still have
a job by tomorrow.
- Lieutenant. Agent Saunders.
- Where is he?
- You mean Muammar?
- That's who he
means, Detective.
- You want Muammar,
we could probably get him
for you sometime tonight.
You know, he usually sleeps in
his car around Decker and 138.
Of course, with all
our heat coming down
after the guy he hired to
make the pass at you croaked,
he's gonna lay low for a while.
But if you really, really want,
we could probably
drum him up for you.
- What you do mean,
he sleeps in his car?
- Muammar's a low-rent
scam artist, Agent Saunders.
- Folks call him Larry.
- Check his sheet.
- Hey, Neal, what's low-rent
about a loitering beef?
How about failure to
produce satisfactory ID?
- Guess he produced
enough satisfactory ID
for Agent Saunders
here to believe
he was gonna buy
a bunch of weapons.
- If I was you, Agent Saunders,
I could see a serious argument
for writing this one
up subject escaped,
but you make the call.
Work?
- We don't know that, J.D.
We don't know
what he's gonna do.
And do you know what
would have happened
if he'd written this up?
- Well, sir, I don't think
he's gonna do that.
- I'd say it's 80%
certain he'll do nothing.
- 80%? 80% is not that good.
- I've lived with worse.
- First name?
- Jerval Hallal.
- Mick? Mrs. Mies
to see you again.
- Sit, barf breath!
What?
- I would like my items back.
- You want your items back?
Lady, you're lucky I don't
arrest you for armed robbery.
- I'm sorry, but
you were too slow.
- I was slow?
You know, it took me four
days to set that bust up,
and I didn't get a seller,
I didn't get a felony,
I didn't even get a TV set.
Know what I got?
I got seven cases
of popcorn poppers
and you, a person who knows
nothing about police work.
- What do I have to know?
I get robbed and
you cops do nothing.
I may not have that long.
I realize that you don't
know my condition,
and the one little
pleasure I give myself
is toasted cheese
in the morning.
- You can't use your broiler?
- It catches fire
under the broiler.
You want me to burn up, too?
- Take this to the cop
who is doing the inventory.
He will release
your toaster oven.
- Thank you. Now
what about my gun?
- Bye-bye, Mrs. Mies.
- Thank you.
- Spell Jervar Rarrawal.
- Make it Jerry.
- Hey, Sarge?
- What?
- Never mind.
Norm, now that you've
made your network debut,
I figure you're in a
magnanimous mood.
I bet you're dying to give
me back my torn currency?
- You figure wrong.
- Hey, wait. Wait!
Norm, while you were
out going Hollywood,
I was providing Detectives
LaRue and Washington
with invaluable information.
- Don't tell me. You solved
the Marilyn Monroe case.
- It's okay, Norm.
The man's rating
is triple-A right now.
- Yeah? Who'd he give you?
- Nobody.
- Nobody?
Whew. I must be going deaf.
I could have sworn I heard
the exotic name Muammar
pass from my lips to your ears.
I also distinctly recall
a happy smile of
relief on your face.
- Sid, it gives me great
pleasure to award you a check
in the amount of
the big triple zero.
Now get lost.
- But Sid's non-information
led to a non-arrest,
which really put us on
the map with the FBI.
Now, Sidney, here's 50.
Keep up the good work,
and keep your mouth shut.
- This usually wakes me up.
- Am I hearing this right?
We got no bust at all
and you're paying that off?
- What we got here
is a potential bust.
We're probably gonna
nail Muammar tomorrow
for passing funny money.
- Look, I'm doing this as a
professional courtesy, huh?
But I think we're establishing
a dangerous precedence here.
- Thank you. I'm going
home to take a nap.
When I wake up, I
bet I'm back in Kansas.
- You ain't gonna believe
this even if you understand it.
- Well, when I was single, I
had scroungy kind of a place.
Old Joe Coffey, he's got
like a roach hotel up there.
- Plus, Mr. Home Beautiful
has only two usable chairs.
- Come on. Two? I
was there last week.
I'm sure he had three.
- Yeah, well, he broke the
third one trying to hit this rat
who ran away with
his service revolver.
- Hey, don't be so hard on Joe.
He serves a nice stew.
- What do you think
happened to the rat?
- You guys are terrible.
Hey, Andy, you gonna bring
the chips and the pretzels?
- Yeah, Sarge. I'll see
you in a couple of hours.
- I'm reimbursing
everybody for eats.
- You announced
that three or four times.
Backed it up at roll call.
- Got another
nickel there, ma'am?
- How much more?
- Look, they don't
have any Garcia Vegas.
I'm gonna try across the street.
- Okay, yeah, yeah.
- How you doing?
Do you have any Garcia Vegas?
- No. Uh-uh.
- I think you got some back...
- Joe? Where are you?
I think I heard gunshots.
- Something happened
in the smoke shop.
- This way?
- Over there, yeah.
- Joe, are you in
the smoke shop?
Give me your position.
Possible gunfire
in the smoke shop.
Officer shot! Officer down!
This is Bates! I
can't get his pulse!
- What's your
10-20, 22, officer?
- I'm at Al's Smoke
Shop, Van Buren.
It's on Van Buren.
How long they gonna
let him lie there?
- Luce, we gotta get
everything we can.
- Captain.
but that's damn nonsense,
and I won't be a party to it.
I'm not angry.
I'm sure that you do.
Fine, sure. Talk to you soon.
- What did Graham have in mind?
- Press coverage of
my returning to work.
- Even without a
media entourage,
I'm not so sure going back
to work after only three weeks
is such a hot idea, Furillo.
- I'll take it easy.
- You know, I would give
you more of an argument
if you weren't so
restless at home.
- Have I been a lousy patient?
- We were very glad to have you.
Cold cuts in the
refrigerator for lunch,
if you change your mind.
- Thank you.
- Easy does it, Furillo.
- Easy does it.
- Item 7, assignments
and operations.
Lieutenant Buntz is gonna
be taking a personal day today.
He's gonna be on a TV show.
Yeah. He was
witness to an accident,
and instead of going to court,
they're gonna
settle it on television.
- This I gotta see.
Buntz is gonna be on TV?
- Lieutenant's on
"Tell it to the Judge"?
- He says that
they're taping today,
but it's not gonna be on for
a couple of months, I guess.
Oh, anyway, the point
is that Detective Smelker
is replacing the lieutenant
at the Complement
Hardware stakeout.
Marshall and Reizer
are at the Hubba-Hubba
Lounge, 116 and Jerome.
Mick Belker is at
Nicholson's Loan Mart,
where we got reports
they're buying stolen property.
Here's a last personal item.
Captain Furillo is threatening
to come back to work.
- Now, people, people.
Let's be aware that
this is an individual
recuperating from major
surgery 21 days ago.
Now, I'm not suggesting
that all approaches
be cleared through me,
but let's use our heads.
The Captain's always
had an open door policy,
but let's be bright
about not overusing it.
All right, Item 8,
possible new vehicles.
- This is one test unit.
It's being loaned to the
department for trial use.
- Well, boy howdy, anyway.
- Well, I had assigned
to you and Hill, Andy.
What's the matter? Is
Bobby sick or something?
- No, he's late for work.
- Okay, Hill and Renko get
it for trial operation today.
Now, these trials are going
on throughout the department,
and assuming that
the returns are good,
maybe we'll all have new
units on the road by spring.
- Stan?
- Okay, that's it!
- Hey, Stan?
- Let's have a safe shift.
- Stan?
- Oh, wait, wait.
Wait a minute. Lieutenant?
- People, poker isn't gonna
work at my place tonight.
I got a little plumbing problem.
- Hey, Casa Coffey.
- I pay for refreshments.
- If you're coming in
to kibitz, go to a movie.
- Same time, Joseph?
- Yeah.
- Okay. Poker at
7:30 at Joe Coffey's.
Now let's go. They're
getting away out there.
- You know any good
plumbers, Howard?
- Well, without tooting
my own trumpet, Henry,
I must confess that I'm rather
handy at household repairs.
I handle all those
chores myself.
- So that's a no.
- You know, I wonder if any
research has ever been done
on your tribe's extreme
ineptitude in that whole area.
- What whole area?
- Oh, you know,
clean-up, paint-up, fix-up.
- It's a myth, Howard.
Holds as much water
as any other stereotype.
- Sorry I'm late,
Renko. Traffic.
- We get to test
drive a new unit.
You shaved off your moustache.
- Yeah.
- Hey, Bobby, the poker
game's at my place tonight.
- I thought it was
Goldblume's night.
- No, he's got problems
with his plumbing. Be there.
- You look cute.
- Hey, Norm.
- Hey, hey, hey!
Will you read my lips?
I'm on personal time.
- Norman, this is
exactly the kind of attitude
why I'm considering taking
my services to Polk Avenue.
Now, I am developing
a doubleheader.
Counterfeit money
for stolen weapons.
I would like a little
positive reinforcement.
- Give me your wallet.
- Ooh, stocking stuffer.
Norm, you're taking money out.
- Yeah. Here's your
inspiration, hmm?
Now come back to me when
you got something. I'm late.
- The man is a
motivational genius.
- We have a 9-11.
Armed robbery in progress.
See Surplus Store
corner of Peebles
Drive and 124th street.
- Yeah, it's your
lucky day, slick,
so I'm not popping you.
- Say what?
- I'm saying no arrest.
Take off. You're outta here.
- Wait a minute. You
forgetting about something?
- And when I see you
downtown, you can believe me,
there's gonna be
more to talk about.
So outta here. Get outta here.
Get lost.
Jeez.
He's a real deep
thinker, you know.
You give him a break,
and the moron just stands there.
- Luce?
- Excuse me, Joe.
Lucy, here's that
40 you asked me for.
You sure you can let me
have it back by Monday?
I got a car payment coming due.
- No problem. I really
appreciate the help.
- Mick, Mick?
Detective Belker's the
one that you wanna talk to.
- Oh, actually, I'm in a...
- My name is Elizabeth Mies.
I live at 1110 Carol Gardens
in the back apartment.
Three weeks and four
days ago, I was broken into
and lost my toaster and
some other household items.
- Actually, I'm not sure
why Sergeant Jablonski...
- The stuff is in a
pawn shop window
on Utica and 121st Street.
I wrote the name
down. Here. It's...
- Nicholson's Loan Mart.
- Oh, how did you know that?
- Well, we know that pawn shop
receives stolen
merchandise, see?
So I'm going over
there right now
to work there to catch
the people who are doing it,
and what you have
to do is make a list.
Everything you lost...
- Well, they got
my electric knife,
which I really don't use.
I don't cook so much
now now that I'm alone.
And when I do, you know,
my regular knife is just as nice.
- So you wanna give
the list to Sergeant...
- They got a radio which
doesn't have any batteries
and some other stuff.
But it's the toaster
oven I miss the most.
- I know.
- You know, in the morning,
I come into the kitchen.
I like to have my rye
toast with melted cheese.
- Excuse me, Mrs. Mies.
I have to go to Nicholson's now.
- Do you know how I know
that the toaster oven
they got there is mine?
- No, I don't. How?
- I asked them to show it to me.
Here. You give me your hand.
Caraway seeds from my toast.
- Bingo.
- Plus, I recognized it anyway.
You're gonna let me know
when you make the arrest?
- Oh, I'm gonna be in touch.
- I'm gonna wait
to hear from you.
- Okay.
- Shut up, Joe.
What's the matter?
- That 50 you borrowed from me
for Fabian's shoes and sneaks?
- Yeah, what?
- Well, I didn't see
him wearing them yet.
- It was raining on Saturday.
We couldn't go shopping.
- Yeah. Did my money go
where Jablonski's money's going?
- I don't know what
you're saying now.
You're making me crazy.
- Hey, my man.
What's going on, huh?
- Hey!
- Joe!
- We got the money
you came by for.
- Hey! You don't
have to shout it, baby.
- Yeah? He knows what
I'm talking about, Luce.
Where is she? Where's
the kid's mother?
- Joe, let's go
back to the unit.
Please, right now.
- You're a pimp.
What, are you and her
shaking Luce down or what?
- You ain't gonna find Tracy
smashing my face into this wall.
- What do you mean,
Tracy? Who's Tracy?
- Tracy. That's
what he calls her.
Now, let him go right now, Joe.
Let him go!
- You wanna find the lady?
I'll take you to the lady.
- Come on. Just come on.
- See, like Tracy and me
in the middle of something.
- Yeah, whatever it is,
we're gonna straighten
it out right now, pal.
- Joe? You know
you don't have to.
You don't know everything
that's going on here.
- Hey.
- What do you want?
- What happened to you?
- They cut her with a razor.
And show 'em your side, too.
They cut her there, too.
That's why she can't work.
- All right. Well,
just listen to me.
Luce's not gonna pay
you any more money.
The two of you
made an agreement.
- How's she supposed
to take care of herself?
- Shut up.
Now you can get
an honest job or not.
You can clean up or not.
But she's not paying you
any more shakedown money
so she can take
care of your kid.
- It seems to me that we
ought to hear from your friend.
- Hey, you can hear
it from me, okay?
- Hey, take it easy.
- You're hearing
it from both of us.
It's over.
- Then what you
standing around here for?
- Let's get outta here.
- Tell me the truth, Renko.
You think I look any younger
without my moustache?
- I cannot think
about that right now.
- Whoa! Sure seems top heavy.
- Yeah? Well, I'm feeling
kind of bottom heavy.
Do you think you could
pull this unit over, please?
- What?
- Pull it over, Robert.
- Wait a minute.
What's the matter?
- I am telling you, brother,
Mother Nature is calling me,
and she's calling
me with a bullhorn.
Now pull it over!
I warned you
about bran muffins
in the morning.
- Daryl Ann, how can you
do this to the man you love?
- Happens every time.
- Oh. Sir, I don't know
how to say this to you,
but if you're here
on an optional visit,
I am here on a
command performance.
Sir, if you're having a
problem getting started,
I'll give you $2.00 here.
I just need a second,
but I need it now.
I need it now.
Sir, I am a police officer,
and you at least owe me
the courtesy of answering me.
All right, I have no
choice but to bust in there.
Oh, Lord, this man has expired.
Sir, I hate to treat your
moment of demise like this,
I really do,
but I have to do
my duty as I see fit.
- Now anything iffy,
remember, you say
"to the best of my
knowledge and recollection."
That way, they don't
nail you for perjury.
- 90 seconds to air.
Scherholtz versus Schipp.
- Yo.
- Okay, now wait until
your case is introduced,
then move as quickly as you
can to your position on the set.
And don't look at the camera.
- Johnny One-Note.
- Excuse me. Do we
have to sit next to this man?
He has threatened my dog's life.
- Well, as soon as the
people move onto the set,
there'll be plenty of room.
- I was wondering, since
my witness couldn't come,
is it fair for him to have his?
- Please, Ms. Schipp.
- That ain't how it
works, Ms. Schipp.
- Sir, here. Could
you please put this on?
- What's that for?
- That's so your tie
doesn't blind 50,000 people.
Blue?
You got no shot, pal.
- All right, let it go.
45 seconds.
- Hey, don't I know you?
- No.
- Yeah, Jerry
Weatherspoon, right?
You used to work over at
Appellate with Judge Greenberg?
- I don't think so.
- Wait a minute.
Something's all
coming back to me now.
I see some kind of show
and tell at the court lavatory?
- That was never proved.
- Excuse me. Jerry?
- Your Honor?
- Does the judge
know about this, Jer?
- Give me a break, will
you? I got a nice gig here.
Come on, Les.
- Cue the intro.
- For the next hour,
your living room
becomes the
courtroom of Harold Pyle.
Here in a forum alternative
to the legal system,
but obeying its
rules and procedures,
real people come before
a distinguished retired jurist
to seek settlement
of real disputes.
Based on Judge Pyle's findings,
successful litigants receive
appropriate cash awards.
For the next 60 minutes,
you are going to
see the law in action.
These are not actors.
- 20% for me.
- You will see the
actual participants...
- These mics are on.
- In these real life dramas.
- Go. Go.
- And you will hear their
stories in their own words...
- Go!
- Get your hands off me.
- And unrehearsed.
- Don't look at the camera.
- And you'll know why,
when you've exhausted
your other remedies,
you should demand
to tell it to the judge.
First on Judge Pyle's docket,
the case of the
distracted driver.
- No wallet, no ID,
no visible marks.
- Probably a coronary.
- Well, briefcase
hooked to his wrist.
He must be some kind of courier.
- Well, if he was a legit
courier, he'd have ID.
This guy's wrong.
- We'll write this up, guys.
- I'm not real impressed
with that new unit of ours.
Let's go.
- Uh, J. D., I think
maybe one of them keys
might open that briefcase there.
- Is that right,
Andy? One of these?
- Yeah, the little
one might open it up.
- No kidding?
- Yeah, and if you open it up,
I think you might find that it
contains a great deal of money.
- Whoo!
You psychic, Renko,
or did you break
into the evidence?
- Looks like you were very busy
before you came out
and got me, Renko.
- All right, now just a minute.
Now listen to me right now.
Every once in a while,
a person has to exercise
individual initiative.
If you look at that
piece of paper there,
you're gonna find it
has a phone number
that might be the
contact number for this...
- Is this a fixed bet, Renko?
You already call this number?
- No, I did not.
- Uh-huh.
- Hey, J.D., you
know the rules, man.
You know you gotta wait
for the coroner's inventory.
- Hey, Renko's
got a point, okay?
This could be big.
What hurt is there in
dialing a random number?
Yeah, who's this?
Who am I?
I'm sitting here
in Toppings Diner.
I been sitting here half
the morning is who I am.
No, I'm not waiting
here. No way.
How about 1 P.M.?
Philly's. Philly's
Steak and Hoagie.
You gonna bring the stuff?
Well, obviously it's
too big to bring inside.
Right. All right. I'm
gonna wait five minutes.
Nobody shows, I'm
gone and school's out.
They're on. We're
in for the buy.
- What are they selling?
- I don't know. It's just
too big to bring into Philly's.
- Lieutenant Renko,
Detective Renko.
- Convict Renko.
- I can't make it make
sense to you, Joe.
I guess I was afraid
that if it went into court,
they'd say I didn't
deserve Fabian.
I told you it didn't make sense.
Now I try and explain to you
and you call me crazy.
- I'm not calling you crazy.
- And you're sitting
there shaking your head.
- Yeah, because I
think it's really sad
that you don't feel like you
have the right to be happy.
- Where'd you get that idea?
- And you do deserve it, Luce.
And you don't have
to go skunking around
being afraid
that jerks like that
are gonna come along
and take it away from you.
- I filled out all the
guardian papers,
but I just never...
- Let's go file them.
- They're at home.
They're at the apartment.
- Yeah, we'll go get 'em.
- 2203, on personal time.
- 2203, copy.
- Come here.
Thanks, Joe.
- It's no problem.
- See, how about
something like this?
This is nice. 12
carats, nickel backing.
- It says "Carla".
Her name's Fanice.
- Any engraver can change that.
- Where's Gupta at?
- Can she try it on?
- Sure.
- I told you, no
deliveries after 3:00.
- Well, the security
guard says he wants 500
to open the door
for us, Mr. Gupta.
- No way.
- Then forget it.
You ain't getting
no delivery, man.
- Mike, ring up $250
for my friend, huh?
- No, the guard says 500.
- He'll take 250.
- Ring it up under sale?
- Do I tell you to
ring it up under sale?
Do what I tell you, Mike.
- 250.
250.
- I ain't guaranteeing
he's gonna take this.
- Then you ain't gonna
get your taste either, huh?
So sell him on
the two and a half.
How's it coming here?
- It's coming very
good, Mr. Gupta.
- She's gonna need
one more looser.
- Mike is gonna find
the right bracelet for you.
I'll be in the back.
- Okay.
Can I help you?
Excuse me a minute.
What are you doing
here, Mrs. Mies?
- You never called me.
- Come here a minute.
- Arrest that man right now.
He stole my items.
I'll testify to it in court.
- I know you will,
but, see, we gotta get him
on a few other things, too.
Will you trust me?
Will you go home?
Because it's very
dangerous in here.
- That's why I'm whispering.
- I'm gonna call you as
soon as we get anything.
- When?
- Very soon, dear, okay?
Now I gotta go back and
sell some bracelets. Goodbye.
- Okay.
- Bye.
Mmm.
- A, you shouldn't have
opened the briefcase
prior to the M.E's arrival.
B, you're asking me to authorize
the use of evidence
as buy money.
That okay is supposed
to come from Division.
- Window on this stays open
another 45 minutes, Lieutenant.
I don't meet those guys at
that hoagie place by then,
it's sayonara to the whole deal.
- When's the last time Division
planned anything in 45 minutes?
- If I okay, I'm
complicit in the violation.
- Hell of a get-well
card for the captain.
40 grand in contraband, wrong
guys on both ends of the deal.
- Do it. Inventory and
requisition of contents.
- Right.
- Promotions all around.
- Bobby, you and Andy on backup.
- Right.
- Plainclothes?
- Yes.
- Good.
- Lieutenant, Sal
Binachi, line two.
- Thanks.
- Sarge, Luce and I are gonna
take a couple extra hours.
- What's going on
today? You two eloping?
- How'd you know?
We're gonna be
buying some rings.
"So I left the applications
at home, Joe."
- I said I knew they were
either at home or in my locker,
one or the other.
- And, Your Honor, I
just wanna say one thing.
Ever since the accident,
I keep having nightmares.
- I have now heard from
the plaintiff in this case.
Mr. Scherholtz, I understand
you brought a witness?
- My uncle was with me.
- Can we have the
witness, please?
- Now comes Lieutenant
Norman Buntz of Metro Police.
Lieutenant Buntz is
the uncle of the plaintiff.
The judge has ruled
on the admissibility of
the following evidence.
- Lieutenant, would you
tell us what happened
on the night in question?
- Oh, sure thing.
Where? Here?
Over here? Okay.
Lester and I were returning
from the Hofbrau House
on account of they do a
nice thing there for pre-Lent.
- I had one beer maybe, total.
- That's right. That's
correct. One beer.
So we were proceeding
northbound up Portland.
And then, well, basically,
Les couldn't see it, of course,
'cause he was paying
attention to his driving.
The defendant, Ms. Schipp
over there, comes flying at us.
No horns, no brakes, boom.
A rear-ender and we go
dribbling out into the intersection.
- In other words, Ms. Schipp
seemed to be failing
to pay attention.
- Oh, yeah.
- I was too paying attention.
His taillights weren't working.
- My taillights were
working fine, Your Honor.
- The police said they weren't.
- Sure, after the accident.
After she smashed them.
- My fiancé Roger saw it.
It's in his statement.
- Your fiancé saw
what, Ms. Schipp?
Judge, that statement
from the fiancé is a crock.
- All right, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant, on what basis
are you impeaching
the supporting affidavit
of Ms. Schipp's fiancé?
- On the basis at the
time of the accident,
the defendant's fiancé's head
was not visible in
the other vehicle.
And in my opinion, at said time,
he probably was engaged
in some unnatural sex act.
- Cut! Cut! Unnatural sex act?
- Yeah. That's why his
statement's a pile of bull.
He couldn't see
nothing from his angle.
- Unnatural sex
act? Are you crazy?
This is an afternoon show.
- Well, great. That don't make
what he was doing natural.
- My mother is
going to hear this.
My mom is gonna
hear what he just said?
- Five minutes, Your Honor.
- Five.
- Lieutenant?
- Yeah?
- So how's the patient?
- Well, I was
thinking of going in
for a half day this afternoon.
- Thank God I'm not talking
from experience, Frank.
That sounds like pushing it.
- I'll take it easy.
- Hell of a streaky
thing, isn't it, Frank?
- What?
- Life.
I mean, now that
you've survived,
it's pretty obvious this
whole shooting business
has only strengthened your
hand in terms of career choices.
- Yeah, I guess I'm on a roll.
- Whereas my own
options keep narrowing.
Whoa!
- Oh, the coffee
a little too strong?
- No, no, it's good. It's fine.
Actually, I think
I'll try a little milk.
Here, huh? I'll get it.
The Crime Institute.
Their search committee
has decided to hold off
on recommending
me for that consultancy.
They think I still have
exposure on this Keenan mess.
That could throw
quite a monkey wrench
into a lot of
peoples' future plans,
not least, your own.
- What's on your mind, Chief?
- You were the chief
inquisitor on Keenan.
Those are the findings
that the search
committee is uneasy about.
- I'm not gonna recant.
- There's no one
ringing a bell, Frank.
I understand that.
But a letter of explanation
for their eyes only.
Frank, I'm looking
for a place to fall.
- I'll detail the
panel's findings
and I'll give you the letter.
You decide whether to send it.
- I hope you remember
there are ways and ways
of saying the same thing.
- No preconditions, Chief.
- No preconditions. Agreed.
So you're thinking
about going in later on?
- If I feel up to it.
- Well, don't push it, Frank.
Easy does it.
- I'll take it easy.
- How you doing? I'm Dipitris.
- I'm bored. How
about we just do it?
- All right. We can walk.
It's not far.
Hey.
- He comes or I go home.
- So you like
company. No problem.
You know, if this goes
good, maybe we get regular.
- So far, I got nothing, huh?
- What happened this
morning, I'm not at fault.
You're not at fault.
- Yeah, yeah, it's
a no-fault state.
Neal, make sure
that door don't close.
- Yeah, sure. Man
the doors, Neal.
I even got you a truck,
and the rental's on me.
- Yeah, right.
- Here's the menu.
There is the main course.
- Ooh. You set a
nice table, Mr. Dipitris.
- Freeze! Federal
Bureau of Investigation!
You're under arrest!
- Hold it right there!
- Hey, just be cool.
- Okay, out!
- Please, don't shoot.
- You guys are Feds?
You're making a mistake...
- Shut up. We'll do the talking.
- Who are you?
- These guys are city cops, sir.
- We all are.
- I don't believe this.
- All right, men. Back off.
You have destroyed a
carefully orchestrated
and costly federal
investigation.
- Hey, you just did
the same thing to us.
- Hey, J.D.
- The hell with it.
He wants to get
into name-calling.
Now, we got months
involved with this.
- Hey, come on.
- Look, it seems obvious
that you must have
taken that briefcase
from Muammar's courier.
- Could be.
- Just please tell me
that the man is
still in your custody.
- We don't work like that.
- You released him.
- I don't need him.
I know where he is.
I know what he's doing.
He picks his nose, I'm
the first to hear about it.
- I want Muammar.
- So do I, only I'm
close, you're not.
Now, I could be
open to something.
- The man is an arms supplier
for international terrorists.
What conceivable reasons could
you have for investigating him?
- Sure, you Feds,
you got the corner
on major crime, huh?
Oh, the hell with this.
You're so sharp, you find him.
- Look, if Muammar could
be remanded to my custody
within, say, eight
hours, I'd be impressed.
- Impressed? I don't
know what that means.
- Well, for one thing,
you wouldn't have to consider
a midlife career change.
- He's yours.
- Look, you're not going to
say unnatural sex, period.
- Come on. I thought you
people wanted the truth.
- Lieutenant, isn't it correct
you couldn't actually
see in Ms. Schipp's car
below window level?
I mean, her fiancé
could just as easily
have been fixing the
velcro on the floor mats.
- Are you kidding me?
- No, I'm not kidding you.
Your prior speculation
is inadmissible. Strike it.
- That's right. Strike
it. Strike it and edit it.
- Your intent is to impeach Ms.
Schipp's passenger as a witness.
Why don't you just simply
say that you didn't see him,
and therefore, he
couldn't have seen you,
and get on with the testimony?
- All right.
- All right.
We're rolling,
everybody. Action.
- You say Ms. Schipp's passenger
is an unreliable witness
to the accident circumstances,
Lieutenant. How so?
- How so? He was bent
over in the front seat.
Heaven only knows what
he was doing down there.
- Right, Captain.
I wouldn't push it.
No, sure. I'll have that
on your desk by 3:00.
Okay, then we might
see you later then, huh?
- Here's your keys, Lieutenant.
- That's fine. So?
- I'll give you my guesstimate.
That's a two,
three day job, easy.
- How much?
- 2,200, 2,500,
something like that.
Don't hold me to it.
- Don't hold you to it? Is
that your estimate or what?
- Well, once I start
rooting around,
who knows where that goes?
- All right.
- And I don't know
who you had up there
fooling around, Lieutenant,
but if you want my opinion,
someone tried to
move that fixture
back off the wall
with a crowbar.
- Previous tenant.
- Well, whoever, they
screwed up real good.
- I do not know why in the world
you had to come on so
strong to that FBI guy, J.D.
- How about I was trying
to save our jobs, Renko?
Buy us a little time?
- Now how we gonna find
what's-his-name, Muammar?
- What do you expect
me to do, Andy, huh,
roll over and die?
- Uh-oh. Bad news.
- What?
- Leave the force now,
you kiss your pension
contributions adios.
No vesting.
- I am telling you right now,
we cannot and will not be fired.
As your PBA rep,
I say suspensions,
possible demotions probable,
but being fired
is highly unlikely.
- Gentlemen?
- Hey, Sidney.
- Sid? Sid. Sid!
Do you know any
Arab gun dealers?
- No, but I do know a tube steak
who's trying to pass himself
off as an Arab gun dealer.
- You do?
- Yeah. His name is Larry.
He's a third-rate counterfeiter.
I tried to interest Norman
in him this morning,
but he was too involved
with his television career.
- Sid, you are beautiful.
- From certain angles.
- Come here.
- Hey, take it easy.
- Okay, that's everything.
- Hon, you're
missing the blue form.
- Oh, the blue...
Oh, yeah, I'm...
- I'm sorry. I can't take
this without the blue form.
- What if I... I'll just bring
the blue form in because...
- No. It has to all be
together. I'm sorry.
- Well, let me just leave this
here now with you and I can...
- I can't take care
of this, ma'am.
You'll have to
bring it altogether.
- I'll bring it back later.
- Hey, what's wrong?
What's the matter?
- I don't have the blue forms.
I guess I left 'em in my locker.
- You're such a jerk.
- I forgot, okay, Joe? I forgot.
- Can she mail 'em in?
- Regulations
require all applications
must be presented
in a completed form.
- Okay, so I'll come
back on Monday.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
She has everything else, right?
How long does it
take for these papers
to get to Social Services
once they leave here?
- What do you mean, how long?
- I mean, it takes time
to process 'em, right?
I mean, you're not gonna
send 'em over this afternoon.
- On average, 10 working days.
- Well, couldn't you start
processing the application
and we'll mail the document in?
- I explained to you
I can't do that, sir.
- Miss, I wouldn't
ask you to do this
if it wasn't really important.
- Another thing,
mail applications
are received at another office.
- No problem. Look, we'll
just address the envelope
and we'll make it
special attention to you.
I'm a city employee, too,
and I can get
mail at the precinct
if I give my badge number.
- She'll have to address
it to Mrs. Johnson.
Municipal Employee Number 735.
- You are an angel,
Mrs. Johnson.
- Thank you.
- And she gotta get it here
by no later than Tuesday.
- Tuesday.
- You are official now.
- Oh, wait a minute.
She's gotta pay the cashier.
Window Nine.
- Thank you.
- Fellas, you're gonna
make me nauseous.
- You sure about this guy?
- Detective, Muammar
is Larry Buckholtz.
- Ain't no way his pitch to
those FBI guys was for real?
- No.
- He has no Middle
East arms contact?
- Larry ran scam
junkets to the Holy Land.
He probably picked
up a little Arabic.
Fellas, he was showing
these guys counterfeit paper.
He was gonna sell any
pieces he bought on the street.
- Now you listen to me, haircut.
Our entire careers
are riding on this,
so you better be right.
- Oh, yeah, like
we got a choice.
- Let's go talk to Muammar.
- The guy's living here?
- Yeah. Guess he moved out
of his car when he struck it rich.
- Well, you want
us to go with you?
- No, we can handle it.
- Listen, don't
underestimate this guy.
- We should be so lucky.
- Yo, Larry, baby!
You in there, man?
- Police!
- Hey, there he goes!
- Where?
- Behind the boxes.
- Come here.
- Hey, man, what is this?
- You tell us, Muammar.
- Muammar? Come on!
- Hey, you see that?
That's what we said. Muammar.
Kind of weird for a
street punk named Larry.
- The papers keep saying
he's buying guns from you,
whole shipments of
illegal arms from Muammar,
AKA packrat,
counterfeiter, scam artist.
- What scam sale? Name it!
- Look, my man,
you have heaved enough
crap our way already.
- Are you referring
to my merchandise?
- What'd you do, steal it?
- I bought it, man. I bought it.
- With that funny money
you been running off?
That the deal, Larry?
- Oh, deal Deal, deal, deal.
Oh, you wanna know
all about the deal.
Okay, I'll tell you
all about the deal,
only it ain't my deal.
I didn't have
nothing to do with it.
- Hey, calm down, man.
- Jimmy G. Jimmy G.
He's the one that had the deal.
See, he's the one who
had the place, man.
It was his place.
That's who's deal it was.
Only Jimmy G. is gone,
man. He's gone on upstate.
- Slow. Now you slow down.
- Benjies, hundreds,
and I used to help him run
'em off now every now and then.
That's all I did, honest to God.
Only when he went upstate,
man, I run off a couple of loads.
That was my mistake.
- That was one of 'em.
Come on.
- Caught the...
- Come on.
- Al Luta, Al Ali-baba.
That's Arabic, yeah.
I picked it up from
this Muslim dude
that I was celled with
over on Michigan Avenue.
- Some guys you
can't get talking.
This one you can't shut up.
That means that I
am of royal blood
and I have made my
pilgrimage to Mecca.
- Can you believe
they went for this guy?
- Yeah, yeah. One
thing I got to say, man.
When I'm out here
hustling, I am believable.
- Now you guys see
the problem, don't you?
- Yeah, that he's crazy.
Let the Feds worry about.
- Feds? What Feds?
- Right.
They bought him before.
- God knows how.
- Hey, what are you guys
talking about now, man?
- Trouble is, they realize
we slipped them a hummer,
they're gonna
hold us responsible.
That's how the Feds operate.
If they take a fall,
they're not taking it alone.
They'll drag us down with 'em.
- Hey, what are you
guys talking about?
The Feds set me up now?
- Well, what are we gonna do?
- I don't know.
We're in the soup.
- You? What about me?
- Rolling. Home stretch, folks.
- Judge Pyle has
returned with his verdict.
- All rise.
- What do you think?
- Spend the money.
- A finding in this case
depends on assessing
the likely veracity
of the competing
versions of the incidents.
We have heard allegations
that the defendant, Ms.
Schipp, was inattentive.
We have also heard that
Mr. Scherholtz had been drinking
and that his taillights
were not functioning.
While this is a close call,
the court finds a likely
preponderance of merit
in the contentions of the
defendant, Naomi Schipp.
- Are you freaking kidding me?
This is a joke here,
huh? This is ridiculous.
No, no. First of all,
you don't let the people
say what really happened,
and then you kangaroo
through the verdict.
Why don't you subpoena
the carpet muncher, huh?
- Could you keep your mouth shut
long enough for him
to say "Next case?"
- Hey, Your Honor,
what happened, huh?
Did she promise you some turn
on the floor mats with her, huh?
- You're about to blow your
appearance fee, my friend.
- Which one of these
creeps you related to?
- We have a finish, folks.
We have corridor follow-up.
- Oh, jeez, I can't wait.
- Not you. You are finished.
- Great job, Lieutenant.
- Oh, yeah, please.
Crack wise with me, Jerry, huh?
'Cause it's gonna
take a whole lot
for me to clean
your clock, right?
- I don't know what that is.
Now, maybe that's
those 17 jewels
rattling around in there.
- Gentle with the piece, man.
A Rolex ain't indestructible.
- Junk. 6 bucks.
- It's a $1,200 watch in
the fine jewelry stores.
- Gupta in the back?
Tell him I got the rest of
his poppers on the truck,
and I'm bringing 'em in.
Give me the 6, man.
- $6.00.
- And skip the receipt.
- Do I pay you to mind other
peoples' business, Mike?
- No. I was just seeing where
you wanted the popcorn makers.
- We're closed.
- Put your hands up.
- What are you doing?
- Don't argue
with the old broad.
Just do like she says.
- You. I want that toaster oven,
the one on the second shelf.
- Put the gun down, lady.
- The hell I will.
- Put the gun down.
- You trying to get us killed?
- I'm a police officer.
You're under arrest.
Get down on the floor. Move!
Hands behind your head.
- We captured him.
- Here's the
unsuccessful plaintiff.
Excuse me, sir.
May we have your reaction
to Judge Pyle's verdict?
- Naturally, I thought it should
have gone the other way.
Guess I have to admit the
defendant's prettier than I am.
- Possibly we haven't seen
our last motion for the case yet.
- Oh, you know,
you're a real moron.
You get just what
you deserve, yeah.
- Cut! Will you shut
your damn mouth?
- Hey, how about I
shut your eyes, huh?
- Get security, please!
- Hey, hey, hey, forget it, pal.
Don't worry. We're outta here.
Come on. Where do we
go to pick your dough?
- They said they'd
mail it to me.
- Hey, I don't know
if I helped you, kid.
- How do you explain
that nothing in Division files
even remotely
suggests that your people
are involved in an
investigation of this arms dealer?
- Not everything goes
through Division, Mr. Saunders.
- Are you telling
me the investigation
is being carried out
under your direction?
For the man responsible,
you seem totally uninformed.
- I won't comment on
the actions of my officers
until I've heard
their explanation.
- And when is that gonna be?
- Soon.
- Hey, where you been?
- Mailed the form.
Mailbox out front
has an early pickup.
- All right.
- Do you want me
to bring anything by
for the game tonight?
- Money. Just money, pal.
I gotta go get some beer.
You wanna come with me?
- Yeah.
Hey, Joe?
Thanks for everything.
- How's that new unit
been treating you?
- I got kind of
detoured today, Sarge.
Couldn't make a
real good impression.
- Well, it's gotta be better
than those rattletraps
we got on the road now.
- Well, it did seem to
be a little top heavy.
- Well, we gotta have
the report in by tomorrow.
- Okay, we'll turn
it in tomorrow.
- If we still have
a job by tomorrow.
- Lieutenant. Agent Saunders.
- Where is he?
- You mean Muammar?
- That's who he
means, Detective.
- You want Muammar,
we could probably get him
for you sometime tonight.
You know, he usually sleeps in
his car around Decker and 138.
Of course, with all
our heat coming down
after the guy he hired to
make the pass at you croaked,
he's gonna lay low for a while.
But if you really, really want,
we could probably
drum him up for you.
- What you do mean,
he sleeps in his car?
- Muammar's a low-rent
scam artist, Agent Saunders.
- Folks call him Larry.
- Check his sheet.
- Hey, Neal, what's low-rent
about a loitering beef?
How about failure to
produce satisfactory ID?
- Guess he produced
enough satisfactory ID
for Agent Saunders
here to believe
he was gonna buy
a bunch of weapons.
- If I was you, Agent Saunders,
I could see a serious argument
for writing this one
up subject escaped,
but you make the call.
Work?
- We don't know that, J.D.
We don't know
what he's gonna do.
And do you know what
would have happened
if he'd written this up?
- Well, sir, I don't think
he's gonna do that.
- I'd say it's 80%
certain he'll do nothing.
- 80%? 80% is not that good.
- I've lived with worse.
- First name?
- Jerval Hallal.
- Mick? Mrs. Mies
to see you again.
- Sit, barf breath!
What?
- I would like my items back.
- You want your items back?
Lady, you're lucky I don't
arrest you for armed robbery.
- I'm sorry, but
you were too slow.
- I was slow?
You know, it took me four
days to set that bust up,
and I didn't get a seller,
I didn't get a felony,
I didn't even get a TV set.
Know what I got?
I got seven cases
of popcorn poppers
and you, a person who knows
nothing about police work.
- What do I have to know?
I get robbed and
you cops do nothing.
I may not have that long.
I realize that you don't
know my condition,
and the one little
pleasure I give myself
is toasted cheese
in the morning.
- You can't use your broiler?
- It catches fire
under the broiler.
You want me to burn up, too?
- Take this to the cop
who is doing the inventory.
He will release
your toaster oven.
- Thank you. Now
what about my gun?
- Bye-bye, Mrs. Mies.
- Thank you.
- Spell Jervar Rarrawal.
- Make it Jerry.
- Hey, Sarge?
- What?
- Never mind.
Norm, now that you've
made your network debut,
I figure you're in a
magnanimous mood.
I bet you're dying to give
me back my torn currency?
- You figure wrong.
- Hey, wait. Wait!
Norm, while you were
out going Hollywood,
I was providing Detectives
LaRue and Washington
with invaluable information.
- Don't tell me. You solved
the Marilyn Monroe case.
- It's okay, Norm.
The man's rating
is triple-A right now.
- Yeah? Who'd he give you?
- Nobody.
- Nobody?
Whew. I must be going deaf.
I could have sworn I heard
the exotic name Muammar
pass from my lips to your ears.
I also distinctly recall
a happy smile of
relief on your face.
- Sid, it gives me great
pleasure to award you a check
in the amount of
the big triple zero.
Now get lost.
- But Sid's non-information
led to a non-arrest,
which really put us on
the map with the FBI.
Now, Sidney, here's 50.
Keep up the good work,
and keep your mouth shut.
- This usually wakes me up.
- Am I hearing this right?
We got no bust at all
and you're paying that off?
- What we got here
is a potential bust.
We're probably gonna
nail Muammar tomorrow
for passing funny money.
- Look, I'm doing this as a
professional courtesy, huh?
But I think we're establishing
a dangerous precedence here.
- Thank you. I'm going
home to take a nap.
When I wake up, I
bet I'm back in Kansas.
- You ain't gonna believe
this even if you understand it.
- Well, when I was single, I
had scroungy kind of a place.
Old Joe Coffey, he's got
like a roach hotel up there.
- Plus, Mr. Home Beautiful
has only two usable chairs.
- Come on. Two? I
was there last week.
I'm sure he had three.
- Yeah, well, he broke the
third one trying to hit this rat
who ran away with
his service revolver.
- Hey, don't be so hard on Joe.
He serves a nice stew.
- What do you think
happened to the rat?
- You guys are terrible.
Hey, Andy, you gonna bring
the chips and the pretzels?
- Yeah, Sarge. I'll see
you in a couple of hours.
- I'm reimbursing
everybody for eats.
- You announced
that three or four times.
Backed it up at roll call.
- Got another
nickel there, ma'am?
- How much more?
- Look, they don't
have any Garcia Vegas.
I'm gonna try across the street.
- Okay, yeah, yeah.
- How you doing?
Do you have any Garcia Vegas?
- No. Uh-uh.
- I think you got some back...
- Joe? Where are you?
I think I heard gunshots.
- Something happened
in the smoke shop.
- This way?
- Over there, yeah.
- Joe, are you in
the smoke shop?
Give me your position.
Possible gunfire
in the smoke shop.
Officer shot! Officer down!
This is Bates! I
can't get his pulse!
- What's your
10-20, 22, officer?
- I'm at Al's Smoke
Shop, Van Buren.
It's on Van Buren.
How long they gonna
let him lie there?
- Luce, we gotta get
everything we can.
- Captain.