Hill Street Blues (1981–1987): Season 6, Episode 10 - The Virgin and the Turkey - full transcript
Christmas approaches, and the cops exercise for the Fireman vs Cops Olympics. Furillo and Joyce visit his family, and are rebuked for not having children. Buntz employs a "drug-sniffing" ...
- Everything's okay.
- No.
- No spotting.
Everything's okay.
- I still think you
ought to stay in bed.
- I'm gonna.
- At least until
the doctor calls.
- At least until
the doctor calls.
- Now what are you doing?
- Setting things up for you.
- Next, you're going
to get out a bed pan
and if you do that, I'm
gonna bop you in the nose.
- No. I'm not gonna
get out a bed pan next.
Next, I'm just gonna love
you and feel real happy.
If I skip the Olympics,
I'll be home by 3:00.
- Oh, no, you don't.
I don't want them
calling up and blaming me
'cause they lost on
account of you weren't there
for the rope climb.
- I hate climbing
ropes. I'm lousy at it.
- No sale. Go for
the gold, Rafer.
- You know what
this place needs?
A Christmas tree.
- Let's settle down.
Item one... augh.
Christmas comes, I feel like
a glorified personnel officer.
- Okay. Starting at the top.
Captain Furillo's gonna get a
head start on a holiday weekend.
He's taking a personal day.
Lieutenant Goldblume's
gonna be in command.
Now, reassigns and
overtimes, night tour officers,
Kohlman and Samowitz,
Lewis and Dulles,
Craig and Cramer.
They all pair today on account
of half-tours and personal days
by certain individuals that
you hear grunting and groaning
in the boiler-weight room.
- Now, this is our Hill Street
contingent, getting the last lap
of conditioning
for the first annual
Hill Street Firemen vs.
Cops benefit Olympics.
- This stellar event
is gonna take place
today, Friday at 3 P.M.
in the men's gymnasium of
PS 114, Becker and 127th.
Proceeds to the
youth organization
for the Christmas needy.
Now, yours truly just
happens to have a few
advance ducats
available... Added boost.
Now, contributions at the
door are gonna be 2.75.
Folks, this is something
definitely worth going into
your pocket, not just
'cause the cause is worthy
but to see which of
our people is gonna live.
- How many do you want? Huh?
All covered. Two? Good.
- Wish I could be in there with
you guys, but doctor's orders.
- J.D., will you stop
blowing that cigarette smoke
in my face, please?
- Hey, don't be such
a fanatic, Franko.
- As your non-playing
captain coach, I ask you
to be practical in your
expectations, gentlemen.
- We cannot expect to
overcome years of inactivity
with one burst of exercise
here in preparation
for this athletic contest.
- Way to be a real
optimist, uh, Lieutenant.
- I was just thinking
realistically, Joseph.
Uh, rump down.
- I got to do it this
time, Bobby Hill.
I can feel it, a complete
re-enter orientation
in my lifestyle.
- Yeah, I heard that before.
- I just cannot believe
what kind of shape
my corpus has gotten into.
- Tell me about it, Renko.
I'm lucky if I can
do 50 of these.
I remember I could do a hundred
without even breaking a sweat.
- Me too.
- Yeah, in a week maybe.
- You know, I used to do
100 pushups every morning
before I sat down to breakfast.
- I hope lying
ain't a sin, Renko.
- Hey, that's good.
Those wrist curls,
that's very good
for that arm wrestling
event, Andrew.
- You just listen to me,
Charles Atlas Coffey.
I may look like I'm out of shape
but I have more raw
brute muscle power
than you ever had
in your entire lifetime.
- All right, Renko. Come on.
Show me what you can do.
- All right, gentlemen.
Let's save our
competitive instincts
for the Hill
Street firefighters.
- Hey... hey, Renko...
- Come on.
- What you wanna do, clean
and jerk this sucker here?
- Well, what do we
got there, 180 pounds?
You want to start that low?
- Yeah. I'll start
right where it is.
- Renko, remember...
- Your groin.
- Yeah, right.
Hey, all right, yeah.
I'll check him out.
And if he's selling
dope, I'll pop him, right?
Yeah, okay, uh,
Mrs. Franklin, right.
Okay. I got it. Yeah,
yeah, good-bye.
Complaint on a guy selling dope.
- The address.
- I got it.
- They got Spinelli on
that list, Lieutenant?
- In due course, J.D.
- Oh, LaRue, telephone.
- I think you'll find the
roster we submitted
for the benefit Olympics
squares with our personnel,
Inspector Baskin,
except, of course, uh,
for the one allowable
guest athlete.
- Yeah. Who you guys gonna use?
- My dear Inspector Baskin,
surely you don't expect me
to reveal our whole
card at this juncture.
- Yeah. Who's the fire
department bringing in?
- Uh, my dear policemen,
uh, Coffey, forget it.
- Joe.
- Hey, slugger, how
you feeling? You ready?
- I'm fine, except
I'm not gonna do it.
And I want you to tell the
Lieutenant for me, thanks.
- Hey, what's wrong?
- Nothing's wrong.
I... I just don't want to spend
my day off doing a tug-of-war.
- You know, you are
just like clockwork.
- What does that mean?
- It gets closer to Christmas,
and you start
bumming yourself out.
- Joe...
- What are you gonna do?
You're gonna go home
and stare at the walls?
- I've gotta go finish
my Christmas shopping,
Dr. Know-it-all.
- Well, ho ho ho
to you to, Luce.
- Can you get him
down here by noon, Sid?
Beautiful. Oh, you are aces.
Sidney, there's gonna
be a little something extra
in your Christmas stocking.
- Where's Bates?
- Lieutenant, I think
we got a late scratch on,
uh, Sgt. Bates.
- What, feminine indisposition?
- No.
I think it's more like
Christmas blahs or something.
- Hill.
- Oh, um, well,
we'll... We'll be making
a roster substitution
for Sgt. Bates
in the tug-of-war, Inspector.
- Other than the guest
athletes, all participants must be
on the rolls of the precinct.
- Mahoney from night shift.
- Okay.
And then substitute
for, uh, Sgt. Bates
is Officer William Mahoney.
- Sid says he can deliver,
says this guy makes
Arnold Schwarzenegger
look normal.
- Hey, remember Sid gets a
little carried away sometimes.
- Hey, Inspector, how
would the fire department feel
about a little side
bet on the tug-of-war?
- What kind of side bet?
- A bet, you know,
like, currency?
- Detective, these
are benefit Olympics,
have been organized
to a charitable purpose.
- Well, give me a
break, Lieutenant.
We're gonna be
one of the charities.
I mean, what do you say?
I mean, I'm sure you
fire guys are bringing in
some ace guest athlete.
Plus, you're all such
hunks yourselves.
- Ooh.
- We could be probably
be had on a side bet.
- 200 to the winning team?
- Half the proceeds
to the youth fund.
- 500.
- Whoa.
Sounds like a
confident man there, J.D.
- Five? You're faded.
- Now, I don't doubt
the city's finest.
But, uh, we'll expect to see
the dough before the event.
- Wouldn't have
it any other way.
- Gentlemen, I'll
see yous at PS 114.
- Absolutely.
- J.D., uh, you
sure our ringer's
better than their ringer?
- Huh.
- Domestic, Joseph.
Uh, why don't
you ride with Soto?
- Now, J.D., what's
the angle, man?
- I'm gonna say one
word to you guys.
Mr. Baltimore Speedway.
- Fuera.
- No.
- Fuera.
- No.
- Get out, so I can
get in here, now.
- No. You don't want
to do this. Believe me.
- Believe me, I want to do it.
- No.
- I've got a right...
- Okay. Hey, hey, hey,
what's the problem now?
- I'm the landlord.
These people are five
months behind in their rent.
They've got their
notice in eviction.
I'm trying to make
repairs so I can re-rent.
- He doesn't want
to make repairs.
He wants to come in, so
he can destroy the Virgin.
That's what he wants to do.
- First thing, we put
down the wood. Okay?
Now, now, uh, what is this
Virgin that's being destroyed?
- The Virgin that
is in my apartment.
He wants to destroy it.
- You don't know this guy.
- He said the Holy Virgin
appeared in his apartment.
- Well, what does that have
to do with paying the rent?
- You don't believe me,
huh? Come in. Come in.
And I'll show you.
- That's not the point.
- That is the point.
Come in and take a look, please.
- You see?
Look at the sadness in her
eyes. She suffers for all of us.
And he wants to paint
her over so that we'll go.
- It's a stain from
the water upstairs.
- No. I was a miracle.
You understand?
- Whatever this is, it
doesn't change the fact
that you owe back rent.
Now this man has the
right to throw you out
if you don't pay him his dough.
- Look, people give
money, so she will be safe,
yesterday $2, today, another $2.
- That's great. I'm rich.
- Look, four bucks
ain't gonna make it.
- I did everything for this man.
- I'm a businessman.
I'm not a janitor.
- Businessman,
what's your business?
Before this, you were
selling stupid vitamins.
- All right. Look...
look, it's Christmas.
And I don't want to
make busts here. Okay?
Now if this man can find
work and start paying full rent,
plus a little something
on what he owes...
- If he did that, I would
worship at the water stains.
Meanwhile, I called the marshal.
They will be here at 5:00.
- I'm saying if he
gets work by 5:00.
- If he gets work, make
a dent in what he owes.
- All right. You hear that?
- Entiendes?
- Si.
Now, you promise me not
to hurt the Virgin meantime.
- Listen to him with the Virgin,
dreamer... not if you get work.
- Can't hurt, huh?
- We're getting
close, aren't we?
- How could you tell?
- I can feel you
getting nervous.
- I'm nervous, too, Frank.
Tell me one more time
why we're doing this.
- Somebody had to
make the first move.
It's been five years.
- You think five years
has changed what they feel
about your divorce?
- I don't honestly
know. I hope so.
- Join the club.
- They've repainted it.
- Frank... Frank...
Frank, oh, Frank.
Oh, you're here
now. I'm so happy.
- Mama?
- Joyce.
- Hello, Mrs. Furillo.
- No, please, I... I'm Barbara.
It's been so long... too long.
- How's Papa?
- He's fine. He's at work.
He's so excited
about seeing you.
- You told me on the phone
he was taking a day off.
- Yeah. He... he wanted to.
But they called, and,
well, you know how it is.
There's always something
to do at the plant.
But he's coming later.
Come on. Let's go inside.
- Let's try to
maintain ourselves
away from legal
entanglement, so we can make
that benefit Olympic.
- There's Buntz.
- How's it going
there, Lieutenant?
- Yeah. All right.
Listen, you want to
drive around the corner,
pull up in front of that church?
- What's the turkey for?
- This is our new
narc, Officer Giblet.
He needs you guys as
witnesses to some probable cause.
- Hold it right there.
- Hey, freeze. All right.
- Jerk we want
is in a lizard coat.
Lady from the church bazaar
said she knows he's a pusher.
- She see him selling?
- If she saw him, we
wouldn't need the bird, right?
- All right. Turn around now.
- All right, boys...
- Hey, man, I ain't no farmer.
Throw that bird back in
the oven where it should be.
- Oh, no, you got it wrong, pal.
This here is a
scientifically-trained
dope-sniffing
turkey, Officer Giblet.
Oh, yeah, whoa.
The officer here is
starting to take the scent.
He is vibrating like a
fatso in a candy store, huh?
- You know, he is kind
of vibrating, isn't he?
- Funny now, Renko.
But guess whose name
goes down on this report?
- You know, I, uh, I hope nobody
is holding here because, uh,
when a turk hones in,
he goes kind of nuts.
Look at him. He's
vibrating there.
- Well, I don't
swing with no dope,
except for a little cough
syrup now and then.
He don't mind that, does he?
- Uh, I don't know.
Let's, uh, let's
find out here, huh?
There you go, Officer
Giblet. There you... okay.
He's clean.
- Get out of here.
- Let's try this next dude here.
- I ain't afraid of no turkey.
- No? Then how
come you're sweating?
- That bird don't smell
drugs. He's on them.
- Oh, boy, he's shaking.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Oh, yeah, he's hot.
The officer's very
hot. Here... oh, okay.
Let's see.
Let's start up here at the head.
Let him sniff the brain
a little bit here, huh?
- Man, hell with this.
- Hey, you get back up
against that fence, pal.
- That's flight, suspicion,
probable cause.
- Turn around
and face that bird.
- All right. Aha.
Hey... hey, this man
is a traveling pharmacy.
Officer, would you bust
this man here, please?
- Turn around and
face that fence.
Go on. Go on.
- What's that, Officer Giblet?
- You... put your
hands down there.
- Oh, you say, uh, you say
you got bust to make over
at the Heights this
afternoon, huh?
All right. I'll see you, huh?
- You have the
right to remain silent.
- Go on. Take off.
- Christmas eats.
Heh heh heh. Whoa.
- My father carved these.
My first duck hunt,
I shot the decoy.
- I'm not sure if Pop
ever forgave me.
- Of course he does.
- Something looks different.
- Hmm? Oh, we lodged the,
uh, doorway to the dining room.
You can't stay away
five years and expect
to find nothing's changed.
Look at this. Look,
Faye sent this.
That boy, I'm telling you,
he has an artistic talent
just like grandfather.
- Frank Jr. took this?
He never mentioned it.
- Yeah. He won the, uh,
the school photo contest.
Faye called... by the way,
Faye calls every week.
So we know what
Frank Jr.'s doing.
- Hey, come on, kids.
- Oh, come, my baby.
Go give Uncle
Frank a nice big kiss.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, Mama. How are you?
- Merry Christmas.
- Frank, oh, good to see
you. Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
- Stella, take your
sister. All right?
- I want you to
meet my wife Joyce.
Joyce, Leonard, Sophie.
- Hi.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas to you.
- I'm Tommy.
- Hi, Tommy. Merry Christmas.
And who's this?
- She can't talk yet.
- She can't... ha ha ha.
- Merry Christmas, dear.
- Look at this guy.
Couple of years
younger, I'm fighting a gut.
You got him in training or what?
So what do you think, Frank?
Last time I saw you,
it was just Tommy.
- You've been busy.
- Well, you better get busy.
I'm way ahead.
- Don't you worry.
Frank is gonna have a family
as big as yours, right, Frank?
- Well, actually, we don't
plan on having children.
- Wrong thing to say, Frank.
Mama's bucking
for more grandkids.
- All right.
Not now, but maybe later
on you'll want your own family.
- Mama, I have a son.
And we both have careers.
We're not thinking
about a family.
- You have careers.
What is a life without
children in the home?
Joyce, you were married before.
You don't have, uh, children?
- No, I don't.
- Well, no matter what your
feelings are, yours and Frank's,
I'll tell you that, uh,
no marriage is blessed
unless there are children.
- Jesus Martinez, Sergeant,
paralegal for Attorney Brown.
- What can I do for
you, Mr. Martinez?
- I'm here to talk to one
of Attorney Brown's clients,
Jermaine Burton.
- Uh, interrogation
room B, Mr. Martinez.
- Thank you, Sergeant.
- What do you want?
- Detectives La Rue
and Washington around?
- Inside.
- Officer.
- Where's Mr. Brown?
- Where's Mr. Green?
- That's down payment.
- I don't see where it says,
uh, made in Switzerland.
Oh, there, right there.
That's from Mexico.
Come on.
- That's onyx.
- That's jive.
- Oh, come on, man.
What's the hold up?
- Come on. Come on.
Car keys.
Where's it parked?
- 112th off Decker.
- You live in 142nd.
You were busted on 129th.
And you're sure it's 112th?
Don't lie.
Who do you think you're
talking to, some little girl P.D.?
'Cause if it comes out
you're lying to me, Burton,
you're gonna be wanting 90 days.
You're gonna be asking
the judge to give you more.
- Maybe it was, uh,
130th off Van Buren.
- Retainer gratefully accepted.
- Come on, man.
It's a Bonneville.
- Beauty. Come
up with two grand,
so you can have your keys back.
Now, tell me, what went down?
- I got busted by a turkey.
- Sid, you delivered.
- Hey, guys, meet Leonard.
- Solid. Detectives, uh,
LaRue and Washington.
- Hey, fellas.
- Uh, Leonard, I
understand you had quite
a rep back in Baltimore.
- Tell him what you used to do.
- Got wasted.
- No, not that. With the
cars at the Speedway.
- Oh, you mean picking
them up, putting them down?
- He used to be
Mr. Baltimore Speedway.
- Uh, Len, uh, you ever
been in a tug-of-war.
- No, he knits a lot.
The man's got advanced
degrees in tugging.
- A little hungry, fellas.
- No problem.
Celeste, phone our guest
an order at Diamante's.
We'll pick it up on
the way back here.
- We'll take care of you.
- Uh, get what you want now.
Don't be shy.
- Couple of pizzas might do it.
- Did I do good, fellas?
- You did beautiful.
- Uh-huh.
So is the part where I
get, uh, tightened up?
- We combined your finder's fee
with a Christmas
present for you, Sid.
- Yeah, we figured,
it being Christmas,
cash was a little lame.
- Hey, I gotta tell
you something.
I'm no sentimentalist.
- Well, we decided to
get you a present instead.
- Fellas, I mean...
- Voila.
- Well, it ain't ticking.
My paper? My 416?
My $3600 winning ticket?
How'd you guys get
this out of evidence?
- You found that,
Sid. You understand?
- Capisce, sure.
- Hey, Merry Christmas, my man.
- You guys put me away,
and then you go and
do something like this.
Don't let anybody ever put down
American... All right?
Don't have anybody ever
knock law enforcement.
- All right.
- Det. LaRue, benefit
Olympics awaits.
- Gotta go, Sid.
- Drop the Glen
case with me later.
- All right.
- Come on. Let's go.
- You're driving.
- Whoa. Wait till
Renko sees him.
- Got a minute for me?
- Sure.
I haven't seen
the case report yet.
Was Hill and Renko's collar
the call you went out on?
- Right.
- Why'd you take that?
I mean, shouldn't that
have been a uniform call
from the beginning?
I picked up the phone.
I didn't have
nothing else to do.
- I don't want this to
be a beef between us.
But I do want to talk
about the procedure.
- Yo, Lieutenant.
- I'm busy now, Jesus.
- It's about your man here.
He busted one of
Attorney Brown's clients,
a Jermaine Burton, with
a dope-sniffing turkey.
- Yeah, and your man
turned out to be holding plenty.
- The thing is I drop a
dime at the zoo, Henry.
Turkeys and chicken
happen to be what, uh...
- Galiforms, which means
they got a poorly developed
olfactory sense.
Dude can't smell squat,
therefore no probably cause.
- Well, I'd be quite
surprised if the turkey
was grounds for
Lieutenant Buntz' arrest.
- The grounds was
your guy ran away
when I stopped
him for questioning.
All right?
- No sale, Lieutenant.
My client says it was
represented to him
he already had probable cause
behind a dope-sniffing turkey.
- Your client, Jesus?
I didn't know you
passed the bar.
- Don't need no lawyer degree
to smell a bum roust, Henry.
When Attorney Brown gets here,
your man is gonna be
eating the dark meat.
- Hey, you're the bright bunch
from the gangs, aren't you?
I heard about you.
- Give us a second, Jesus.
- Yeah, I'll give
you more than that.
- So?
- You read the same
policy numbers?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No subterfuge to
establish probable cause.
- Let case law clarify it.
Stan, would you release
a perp named Burton?
No probable cause.
- Right. That's great.
You want me to apologize
to the guy, too, huh?
You want me to give
him his dope back, huh?
- Come on, Norman.
- On behalf of these clients
of attorney Harold Brown,
I would like to buy
half a roll of tickets
for the Christmas Olympics.
- Your turkey client's
getting the boot.
- Oh, make that $10 more.
- All right.
Move on, and don't
let the door hit you
in the butt on the way out.
- Take it personal, lieutenant.
It's the nature of the
adversarial system.
Thank you.
- Hey.
- Oof.
- Now, you watch
your lip, bright boy.
You show your ugly face
around here anymore,
I'm gonna rip it off.
- Take it easy, man.
You're costing me
some dry-cleaning here.
- Ahem.
- Attorney Brown.
- Officer, you let my
paralegal go now.
- Ha ha ha. I told you
got nothing on me.
Now I'm right
back on the streets
doing my same old same
old. Been real fun, Lieutenant.
- Lieutenant, I'm filing a
legal complaint for harassment.
- Oh, jeez, I'm in
a panic, you know.
- It's Christmas.
Everybody's a little hot.
Let's all try to cool down here.
You okay, Jesus?
- Yeah. I'll live.
- Norm.
- Yeah, yeah.
I can't breathe in
this freaking place.
I'm suffocating in
this freaking place.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
Hey, a small world, isn't it?
- I missed you last few classes.
- You did?
- Uh, you, uh, lose interest?
- No, not really.
- Why'd you stop?
- Oh, you know, I... I don't
know... was feeling kind of weird.
- Ceramics?
- Uh, I was feeling
kind of weird about you.
- So it wasn't just one way?
- What does that mean?
- It wasn't just me
having a crush on you.
Listen, would you like to have
a cup of coffee or anything?
I'd like to talk to you
for a few minutes.
- Finished up your
shopping and...
- My wife and I
separated three days ago.
- No kidding.
- No kidding.
- I'm supposed to say
I'm sorry is what I...
- I am too.
I was talking with
anybody else...
If I was talking to anyone
but you, I'd say how we were
trying to get it back together,
we were hoping it
would still work out.
- And if you were
talking with me, then...
- Then I'd say I'd
like to do all the things
that I thought of us
doing together right now,
and I guess you might have
thought about doing, too.
- What's so funny?
- Well, you know, my
bedroom... I've been saying
for three years that I was
gonna start painting it, right?
So when do I start? Last night.
I... and it's great timing.
- It's not a problem.
- Um, let me get you
a beer or something.
Would you like a beer?
- Oh, uh, I don't know.
Uh, let me think
about it for a minute.
- Oh, holy cow.
- What?
- I am nervous.
And I guess that's
a good sign, huh?
- Yeah, why's that?
- Well, because if we're
gonna be casual about this,
I mean, we probably
shouldn't even be here at all.
- That store, I was
close to getting arrested
for public lewdness.
- I wanted to jump
you right there.
- You did?
- Mm.
- I was feeling a little
warm myself, a little caliente.
You know, we
don't have to do this.
- I know.
- I mean, being
separated only three days,
maybe it's...
Do you want to?
- Uh-huh. You?
- Uh-huh. A lot.
- Sophie's mom has
been living with us ever
since the old man died,
drives Sophie crazy.
Maybe you want to
take her home with you.
- What's with Pop?
- Uh, some things never change.
- When I call, he won't
even get on the phone.
- Frank, he doesn't
know what to say.
Your divorce, it
was like something
from outer space for him.
They don't even
mention it to their friends.
- She may be a
perfectly nice person
but I don't feel
it's a natural union.
- Mama, she's his wife.
- In the eyes of the
church, Faye is still his wife.
I know my son. He
would want children.
- Mama?
- All this talk about careers...
'course, that...
that's not for Frank.
- Mama.
- What?
- Sophie's trying to tell
you I heard what you said.
- Oh, sure. You
were listening to us.
- Small house. It's hard not to.
- Small... small...
- She didn't mean it
the way it sounded.
- Oh, please.
- Mama.
- What... what I said,
I'd say to her face.
A career woman?
- That's enough,
Mama. Joyce is my wife.
Either you accept
her, or we're leaving.
- I... I can't help what I feel.
It's wrong.
- Yes or no, Mama.
- Now he attacks me, huh?
- Mama, please.
You're way out of line.
- Joe, don't talk to Mama...
- Sophie, please.
- I'll find Joyce.
- Frank. Frank, don't leave.
Frank, please...
- Mama. Mama. Mama.
- I don't want you to be a
stranger to my house, please.
- Joyce.
- Can we just get in
the car and go home?
- I'm... I'm sorry.
I... I really didn't think
it would come to this.
- You didn't, really?
- If you want to
leave, we'll leave.
- But you'd like me to give
her another chance, right?
Is that it?
Frank, I never should have come.
She'll never accept me.
- Joyce, listen to me.
I've talked about
this woman for years.
She flies off the handle.
She doesn't mean
10% of what she says.
- I disagree. I think she does.
Though maybe it's
not entirely her fault.
Have you ever told her
why your first marriage failed,
I mean, the real reason?
- No, I haven't.
- Well, you can't duck
things for six years,
Frank, and expect
them to go away.
- You see how...
- Did you tell her that
I can't have children?
- You see how she is.
I haven't discussed any
of those things with her.
- You mean she uses
hysterics to make you feel guilty,
so you say nothing.
- Don't psychoanalyze
her. You watch.
She'll come out
and talk to you now.
- Wonderful. I can't wait.
- Just your basic family visit.
- That was wonderful.
- Amen.
- You know, I'm glad we did it.
- Me too.
- I mean, there's no obligation
at all, to either one of us.
- I understand.
- You know what I want?
Can I tell you?
- Of course.
- I want for us to be close.
- Yeah, well, we are.
Couldn't have got much closer.
- I didn't screw us...
us up, do I, by doing...
- Oh, no, no.
No way.
I ought to go.
- They don't remember
how it really was.
They don't even remember
how they worried about Frank.
Did you know Frank when
he was married to Faye?
- I met him just
after they divorced.
- He was in bad shape then.
Does he drink anymore?
- Not at all.
- You've done a lot
for him, and it shows.
You know, Frank and I, we've
always liked different things,
like country mouse,
city mouse, you know.
I really love that guy.
I miss seeing him a lot.
- You should come
and see us, Joe.
- You really want a bunch
of country mice up there?
- We'd like it very much.
- Go, go, go.
A sterling effort...
- Heard your groin
might have popped.
Horrible pain when they go.
And if the intestine
get strangulated,
hey, it can be a
matter of minutes.
- Joe, you have to
capture this one, Joseph.
Think of Atlas.
Recall the warrior king.
- I got you,
Lieutenant. I got you.
- You ready?
- Contestants, ready?
- It's dead even at this point.
Officer Renko, lane
three, is taking the lead
and pushing ahead by
two lengths, looking strong.
- Wait. Oh... oh,
no, he's hurting.
- Renko, get up.
- He's down.
He's in pain, big guy.
Here comes Officer
Joe Coffey behind.
He goes, and he
wins it by a nose.
A remarkable victory for the...
- Don't hit my back, please.
- Brown and Martinez agreed
to withdraw the complaint.
- Well, hip-hip-freaking-hooray.
- Guess this is what they
mean by a skeleton crew.
- Jeez, I always
wondered about that.
- I don't want to be enemies.
- Look, I got a style.
You understand?
I get cut off from my instincts,
I'm taking a shortcut to dead.
- I wish I had your instincts.
But you can't turn
them into the law, Norm.
You know that.
- Yeah, well, at least
I got the creep off
the streets for a while, huh?
- It's another conversation.
- Uh, favor, one of you.
- Yeah, sure.
- What do you need?
- I was such a sport letting
people go to those Olympics.
Uh, one of you do a street
call for me on your way home?
- Jeez, I don't know, Sarge.
Uh, shouldn't that be one of
the, uh, uniforms, Dispatch?
- I know that. I told
you I'm shorthanded.
- He's busting my stones,
Stan. I'll take the call.
- No, I'll take it.
- It's a repeat domestic.
Or, to be technical, it
ought to be two cops.
- Come on. I'll show
you some instinct.
- See you later, Stan.
- Last man at the Alamo.
- When I first defended
him, he was the Cisco Kid,
complete with
pearl-handled pistol.
- Cap pistols.
- Then I represented
him as Cochise.
- The Indian?
- Mm-hmm.
- You know about Cochise?
- You don't know what I
know. Did he have arrows?
- Uh, war paint, bare
chested, feathers.
- Crazy, the world's gone crazy.
Well, I think that, to
do the work you do,
you must be very
smart and very brave.
- She is.
- Pop?
I want you to meet
my wife Joyce.
- Mr. Furillo.
- Nice to meet you.
Hi, Charlie.
Ha ha. Here's my girl.
Oh, see, that's a pretty
red dress you got on.
- After six events, the
score stands even at 3-3.
The deciding event
will be the tug-of-war.
Will the contestants for this
event please take your position?
- How you doing, Len?
- Pretty good.
- What do you mean, pretty good?
That's an ex-middle
linebacker back there.
These guys imported
the genuine article.
- Look, the dot
part gets better.
- Dots? The dot part?
- I had a shrimp pizza.
Sometimes I get a bad
reaction from shellfish.
But things are pretty good.
- All around.
Now we're gonna
have to suck it up.
We're gonna break this tie.
We have to hone ourselves
in to an Oriental-like
concentration for
the task at hand.
We are no longer individuals.
We belong to the
great chain of being.
We are the rope. Put
your hands right here.
Put your hands and
say, we are the rope.
The rope is life.
- We are the rope.
The rope is life.
- Okay. Everyone, plant
those feet and get a firm grasp
on the rope...
- I am the rope.
- 'cause this one is it.
- The rope is life.
- This is the big one.
One of these teams...
- All right. Get ready.
- Is going home
with a trophy and one
with one hell of
a cleaning bill.
Okay. They're digging
in. They're pulling.
- Dig in!
- Pull, pull!
- I'm seeing dots.
- Ignore them.
- Come on. Come on.
- Firemen seem to be weakening.
There's no doubt about it.
- Pull!
There they go.
- Let's hear it for 'em, folks.
- Every man for himself.
- Oh, wait. Hold on. Hold up.
- Now, come on. What are you...
- That big guy's out of control.
Somebody stop that guy.
There goes another one.
- Yay!
- No house yet, Frank?
- Still an apartment.
- Joe has got a...
A really nice place.
- Frank, you've seen it.
We've redone the inside,
and we've added a deck.
- Sounds terrific.
- I read the papers
about your commission.
You could be the
next chief of police.
- Oh, I'm not counting on it.
- Uh, he's too modest, Pop.
The TV news... the TV news
says that he should have the job.
- Frank, have you seen
Joe's new office building yet?
- He was telling me about it.
- Oh, you ought to see it.
Oh, it's really
something to be proud of.
- Sophie's so good with them.
Do you like children?
- Very much.
Mrs. Furillo, I'm not
able to have children.
Frank and I have
talked about adopting.
We've talked about
all kinds of things.
But the reality is we can't have
a family the way we'd like to.
- The things I said, what I did.
I feel so foolish.
All I want for Frank
is that he be happy.
- So do I.
- Hmm, this old kitchen.
Next time you come,
Frank, all new dishwasher,
microwave oven, what they call,
uh, a touch top
stove... all new.
- Just decided?
- That's right.
Your father wanted to
do it years ago, but I, uh,
I've hung on to a lot
of silly old opinions.
But no more, Frank, no
more silly old opinions.
I mean it this time.
- I'm glad, Mama.
- Yep.
You get old, and
stupid ideas get fixed
in your head like a
curtain that hangs in front
of what you really feel.
No more, Frank.
Next time you come, all new.
I promise.
- Please don't let him jump.
- What's going on?
- He climbed up.
The landlord
said if he didn't get
a job by 5, we have to move.
- Time's up.
- Hey, policemen, he wants
to throw me out at 5:00.
I'm not moving from here.
- Look at this idiot. I
should let him jump.
- You should have pity.
- Have pity, huh?
So what I'm doing,
gonna offer him
the super's job at my
other building, 423.
My manager got stabbed.
They tell you to
own property. Ha.
- Be careful, junior.
- He's all right.
He's all right.
- Mrs. Pinzon, I think
this is a fair range
for Mr. Garcia's making.
- Look, I'm good with
my hands. He knows that.
I fixed his stoop before.
- And you should look for work.
Boss this, too. I want
it for the back rent.
- I'm gonna try.
- Hey, Lieutenant,
case closed, huh?
Hey, let's not have
our birthdays here.
- I'm just sketching this out.
It's kind of a budget
you can aim for.
- Thank you.
- You see? My luck has changed.
- Hey, pal...
You know, uh, I used
to ask my priest...
We'd, uh, cross ourselves
before the big game.
I'd say, Father, is that
gonna make us win?
And he'd say, it will
if you block your man.
You understand what
I'm saying here, huh?
You gotta help yourself.
You gotta hold up your end.
Otherwise, that's gonna
be our Lady of Eviction.
- That's right. Good for you.
- I understand.
- 'Course, uh, I
don't understand
how you expect to turn a
buck, being how you're keeping
this thing a state secret.
- What do you mean?
- Did you ever hear
of advertising, hmm?
Get a little word
of mouth going.
Let the people know
the freaking thing
is up here, huh?
Hey, Merry Christmas,
kid. I hope you get a full one.
- Made sense,
what you said to him.
- The guy's a jerk.
He's sitting on
top of a nice buck.
Here, look at this.
Uh, religious vision... there's
a religious vision upstairs,
the fourth floor, apartment
407, contributions voluntary.
Religious vision.
Go on up and see
the holy vision, huh?
Upstairs, the holy vision.
Right upstairs here, ma'am.
Go see the holy
vision. Go on. Take it in.
Check it out, huh?
Okay. I'll see you later.
Merry Christmas.
Holy vision upstairs.
- Hello?
Hello?
Anybody there?
- The doc said
everything's okay.
The doc said I could go out.
I'm fine.
Robin, can we
please get married?
- What do you mean?
I mean, I thought
we settled that.
- I know we're getting married.
I mean, can we... can
we get married right away?
I just want all of
us to know that
we're in this together and
that we love each other.
And I want the baby
to know that, too.
- That's the sweetest thing.
- I was so afraid we
were gonna lose it.
- We're not. It's
not gonna happen.
- So can we get married?
- When?
- Tonight.
- You don't want
friends and stuff?
- No.
- We're only gonna do this once.
All right. How
about in two weeks?
- Two weeks from today?
- I'm available.
- That's it. That's final.
- Tonight, we
decorate the trees.
- Pop?
- There's some kind
of a bird in this wood.
Maybe a widget, golden eye,
maybe even a little
cinnamon-winged teal.
It's important to know
because you gotta commit to it.
You make a mistake at the first,
there's no way to
ever make it right.
- We're getting ready to leave.
- Glad you came. Your
mother misses you.
- Joe wants to bring
mom over to visit us.
I'd like it very much
if you came along.
- Oh, no. Now, you
show her a good time.
I wouldn't know what
to do up in the big city.
- Uh, yeah, I guess
I'll see you next time.
- When you see Faye and
the boy, give them our love.
- Joyce, you want to take this?
- Sure.
- Mama. Thank you.
You too. Be well.
- Merry Christmas, Frank.
- Merry Christmas.
Thanks for everything.
- Frank, don't be
a stranger, huh?
- I won't be. I promise.
- And bring the kid.
I'd like to see him.
- I will. It was good
to come home.
- Don't worry about
the old man. He's rough.
But I'll work on him.
He'll come around.
Frank, she's a great
gal. She really is.
- Don't leave now.
Stay for the weekend.
- There's lots of
room at our place.
- Oh, thank you.
We... we've already paid
for the cabin up at the lake.
We'll come back soon.
- Oh, okay. All right.
- What?
- Just be a minute.
We didn't say good-bye.
I love you, Papa.
Bye, Pop.
- Good luck to you, son.
- For five years, I'd
been afraid I'd wind up
standing at my father's grave
thinking about all the things
I wanted to say to
him and never did.
Thanks for coming with me.
- No.
- No spotting.
Everything's okay.
- I still think you
ought to stay in bed.
- I'm gonna.
- At least until
the doctor calls.
- At least until
the doctor calls.
- Now what are you doing?
- Setting things up for you.
- Next, you're going
to get out a bed pan
and if you do that, I'm
gonna bop you in the nose.
- No. I'm not gonna
get out a bed pan next.
Next, I'm just gonna love
you and feel real happy.
If I skip the Olympics,
I'll be home by 3:00.
- Oh, no, you don't.
I don't want them
calling up and blaming me
'cause they lost on
account of you weren't there
for the rope climb.
- I hate climbing
ropes. I'm lousy at it.
- No sale. Go for
the gold, Rafer.
- You know what
this place needs?
A Christmas tree.
- Let's settle down.
Item one... augh.
Christmas comes, I feel like
a glorified personnel officer.
- Okay. Starting at the top.
Captain Furillo's gonna get a
head start on a holiday weekend.
He's taking a personal day.
Lieutenant Goldblume's
gonna be in command.
Now, reassigns and
overtimes, night tour officers,
Kohlman and Samowitz,
Lewis and Dulles,
Craig and Cramer.
They all pair today on account
of half-tours and personal days
by certain individuals that
you hear grunting and groaning
in the boiler-weight room.
- Now, this is our Hill Street
contingent, getting the last lap
of conditioning
for the first annual
Hill Street Firemen vs.
Cops benefit Olympics.
- This stellar event
is gonna take place
today, Friday at 3 P.M.
in the men's gymnasium of
PS 114, Becker and 127th.
Proceeds to the
youth organization
for the Christmas needy.
Now, yours truly just
happens to have a few
advance ducats
available... Added boost.
Now, contributions at the
door are gonna be 2.75.
Folks, this is something
definitely worth going into
your pocket, not just
'cause the cause is worthy
but to see which of
our people is gonna live.
- How many do you want? Huh?
All covered. Two? Good.
- Wish I could be in there with
you guys, but doctor's orders.
- J.D., will you stop
blowing that cigarette smoke
in my face, please?
- Hey, don't be such
a fanatic, Franko.
- As your non-playing
captain coach, I ask you
to be practical in your
expectations, gentlemen.
- We cannot expect to
overcome years of inactivity
with one burst of exercise
here in preparation
for this athletic contest.
- Way to be a real
optimist, uh, Lieutenant.
- I was just thinking
realistically, Joseph.
Uh, rump down.
- I got to do it this
time, Bobby Hill.
I can feel it, a complete
re-enter orientation
in my lifestyle.
- Yeah, I heard that before.
- I just cannot believe
what kind of shape
my corpus has gotten into.
- Tell me about it, Renko.
I'm lucky if I can
do 50 of these.
I remember I could do a hundred
without even breaking a sweat.
- Me too.
- Yeah, in a week maybe.
- You know, I used to do
100 pushups every morning
before I sat down to breakfast.
- I hope lying
ain't a sin, Renko.
- Hey, that's good.
Those wrist curls,
that's very good
for that arm wrestling
event, Andrew.
- You just listen to me,
Charles Atlas Coffey.
I may look like I'm out of shape
but I have more raw
brute muscle power
than you ever had
in your entire lifetime.
- All right, Renko. Come on.
Show me what you can do.
- All right, gentlemen.
Let's save our
competitive instincts
for the Hill
Street firefighters.
- Hey... hey, Renko...
- Come on.
- What you wanna do, clean
and jerk this sucker here?
- Well, what do we
got there, 180 pounds?
You want to start that low?
- Yeah. I'll start
right where it is.
- Renko, remember...
- Your groin.
- Yeah, right.
Hey, all right, yeah.
I'll check him out.
And if he's selling
dope, I'll pop him, right?
Yeah, okay, uh,
Mrs. Franklin, right.
Okay. I got it. Yeah,
yeah, good-bye.
Complaint on a guy selling dope.
- The address.
- I got it.
- They got Spinelli on
that list, Lieutenant?
- In due course, J.D.
- Oh, LaRue, telephone.
- I think you'll find the
roster we submitted
for the benefit Olympics
squares with our personnel,
Inspector Baskin,
except, of course, uh,
for the one allowable
guest athlete.
- Yeah. Who you guys gonna use?
- My dear Inspector Baskin,
surely you don't expect me
to reveal our whole
card at this juncture.
- Yeah. Who's the fire
department bringing in?
- Uh, my dear policemen,
uh, Coffey, forget it.
- Joe.
- Hey, slugger, how
you feeling? You ready?
- I'm fine, except
I'm not gonna do it.
And I want you to tell the
Lieutenant for me, thanks.
- Hey, what's wrong?
- Nothing's wrong.
I... I just don't want to spend
my day off doing a tug-of-war.
- You know, you are
just like clockwork.
- What does that mean?
- It gets closer to Christmas,
and you start
bumming yourself out.
- Joe...
- What are you gonna do?
You're gonna go home
and stare at the walls?
- I've gotta go finish
my Christmas shopping,
Dr. Know-it-all.
- Well, ho ho ho
to you to, Luce.
- Can you get him
down here by noon, Sid?
Beautiful. Oh, you are aces.
Sidney, there's gonna
be a little something extra
in your Christmas stocking.
- Where's Bates?
- Lieutenant, I think
we got a late scratch on,
uh, Sgt. Bates.
- What, feminine indisposition?
- No.
I think it's more like
Christmas blahs or something.
- Hill.
- Oh, um, well,
we'll... We'll be making
a roster substitution
for Sgt. Bates
in the tug-of-war, Inspector.
- Other than the guest
athletes, all participants must be
on the rolls of the precinct.
- Mahoney from night shift.
- Okay.
And then substitute
for, uh, Sgt. Bates
is Officer William Mahoney.
- Sid says he can deliver,
says this guy makes
Arnold Schwarzenegger
look normal.
- Hey, remember Sid gets a
little carried away sometimes.
- Hey, Inspector, how
would the fire department feel
about a little side
bet on the tug-of-war?
- What kind of side bet?
- A bet, you know,
like, currency?
- Detective, these
are benefit Olympics,
have been organized
to a charitable purpose.
- Well, give me a
break, Lieutenant.
We're gonna be
one of the charities.
I mean, what do you say?
I mean, I'm sure you
fire guys are bringing in
some ace guest athlete.
Plus, you're all such
hunks yourselves.
- Ooh.
- We could be probably
be had on a side bet.
- 200 to the winning team?
- Half the proceeds
to the youth fund.
- 500.
- Whoa.
Sounds like a
confident man there, J.D.
- Five? You're faded.
- Now, I don't doubt
the city's finest.
But, uh, we'll expect to see
the dough before the event.
- Wouldn't have
it any other way.
- Gentlemen, I'll
see yous at PS 114.
- Absolutely.
- J.D., uh, you
sure our ringer's
better than their ringer?
- Huh.
- Domestic, Joseph.
Uh, why don't
you ride with Soto?
- Now, J.D., what's
the angle, man?
- I'm gonna say one
word to you guys.
Mr. Baltimore Speedway.
- Fuera.
- No.
- Fuera.
- No.
- Get out, so I can
get in here, now.
- No. You don't want
to do this. Believe me.
- Believe me, I want to do it.
- No.
- I've got a right...
- Okay. Hey, hey, hey,
what's the problem now?
- I'm the landlord.
These people are five
months behind in their rent.
They've got their
notice in eviction.
I'm trying to make
repairs so I can re-rent.
- He doesn't want
to make repairs.
He wants to come in, so
he can destroy the Virgin.
That's what he wants to do.
- First thing, we put
down the wood. Okay?
Now, now, uh, what is this
Virgin that's being destroyed?
- The Virgin that
is in my apartment.
He wants to destroy it.
- You don't know this guy.
- He said the Holy Virgin
appeared in his apartment.
- Well, what does that have
to do with paying the rent?
- You don't believe me,
huh? Come in. Come in.
And I'll show you.
- That's not the point.
- That is the point.
Come in and take a look, please.
- You see?
Look at the sadness in her
eyes. She suffers for all of us.
And he wants to paint
her over so that we'll go.
- It's a stain from
the water upstairs.
- No. I was a miracle.
You understand?
- Whatever this is, it
doesn't change the fact
that you owe back rent.
Now this man has the
right to throw you out
if you don't pay him his dough.
- Look, people give
money, so she will be safe,
yesterday $2, today, another $2.
- That's great. I'm rich.
- Look, four bucks
ain't gonna make it.
- I did everything for this man.
- I'm a businessman.
I'm not a janitor.
- Businessman,
what's your business?
Before this, you were
selling stupid vitamins.
- All right. Look...
look, it's Christmas.
And I don't want to
make busts here. Okay?
Now if this man can find
work and start paying full rent,
plus a little something
on what he owes...
- If he did that, I would
worship at the water stains.
Meanwhile, I called the marshal.
They will be here at 5:00.
- I'm saying if he
gets work by 5:00.
- If he gets work, make
a dent in what he owes.
- All right. You hear that?
- Entiendes?
- Si.
Now, you promise me not
to hurt the Virgin meantime.
- Listen to him with the Virgin,
dreamer... not if you get work.
- Can't hurt, huh?
- We're getting
close, aren't we?
- How could you tell?
- I can feel you
getting nervous.
- I'm nervous, too, Frank.
Tell me one more time
why we're doing this.
- Somebody had to
make the first move.
It's been five years.
- You think five years
has changed what they feel
about your divorce?
- I don't honestly
know. I hope so.
- Join the club.
- They've repainted it.
- Frank... Frank...
Frank, oh, Frank.
Oh, you're here
now. I'm so happy.
- Mama?
- Joyce.
- Hello, Mrs. Furillo.
- No, please, I... I'm Barbara.
It's been so long... too long.
- How's Papa?
- He's fine. He's at work.
He's so excited
about seeing you.
- You told me on the phone
he was taking a day off.
- Yeah. He... he wanted to.
But they called, and,
well, you know how it is.
There's always something
to do at the plant.
But he's coming later.
Come on. Let's go inside.
- Let's try to
maintain ourselves
away from legal
entanglement, so we can make
that benefit Olympic.
- There's Buntz.
- How's it going
there, Lieutenant?
- Yeah. All right.
Listen, you want to
drive around the corner,
pull up in front of that church?
- What's the turkey for?
- This is our new
narc, Officer Giblet.
He needs you guys as
witnesses to some probable cause.
- Hold it right there.
- Hey, freeze. All right.
- Jerk we want
is in a lizard coat.
Lady from the church bazaar
said she knows he's a pusher.
- She see him selling?
- If she saw him, we
wouldn't need the bird, right?
- All right. Turn around now.
- All right, boys...
- Hey, man, I ain't no farmer.
Throw that bird back in
the oven where it should be.
- Oh, no, you got it wrong, pal.
This here is a
scientifically-trained
dope-sniffing
turkey, Officer Giblet.
Oh, yeah, whoa.
The officer here is
starting to take the scent.
He is vibrating like a
fatso in a candy store, huh?
- You know, he is kind
of vibrating, isn't he?
- Funny now, Renko.
But guess whose name
goes down on this report?
- You know, I, uh, I hope nobody
is holding here because, uh,
when a turk hones in,
he goes kind of nuts.
Look at him. He's
vibrating there.
- Well, I don't
swing with no dope,
except for a little cough
syrup now and then.
He don't mind that, does he?
- Uh, I don't know.
Let's, uh, let's
find out here, huh?
There you go, Officer
Giblet. There you... okay.
He's clean.
- Get out of here.
- Let's try this next dude here.
- I ain't afraid of no turkey.
- No? Then how
come you're sweating?
- That bird don't smell
drugs. He's on them.
- Oh, boy, he's shaking.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Oh, yeah, he's hot.
The officer's very
hot. Here... oh, okay.
Let's see.
Let's start up here at the head.
Let him sniff the brain
a little bit here, huh?
- Man, hell with this.
- Hey, you get back up
against that fence, pal.
- That's flight, suspicion,
probable cause.
- Turn around
and face that bird.
- All right. Aha.
Hey... hey, this man
is a traveling pharmacy.
Officer, would you bust
this man here, please?
- Turn around and
face that fence.
Go on. Go on.
- What's that, Officer Giblet?
- You... put your
hands down there.
- Oh, you say, uh, you say
you got bust to make over
at the Heights this
afternoon, huh?
All right. I'll see you, huh?
- You have the
right to remain silent.
- Go on. Take off.
- Christmas eats.
Heh heh heh. Whoa.
- My father carved these.
My first duck hunt,
I shot the decoy.
- I'm not sure if Pop
ever forgave me.
- Of course he does.
- Something looks different.
- Hmm? Oh, we lodged the,
uh, doorway to the dining room.
You can't stay away
five years and expect
to find nothing's changed.
Look at this. Look,
Faye sent this.
That boy, I'm telling you,
he has an artistic talent
just like grandfather.
- Frank Jr. took this?
He never mentioned it.
- Yeah. He won the, uh,
the school photo contest.
Faye called... by the way,
Faye calls every week.
So we know what
Frank Jr.'s doing.
- Hey, come on, kids.
- Oh, come, my baby.
Go give Uncle
Frank a nice big kiss.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, Mama. How are you?
- Merry Christmas.
- Frank, oh, good to see
you. Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
- Stella, take your
sister. All right?
- I want you to
meet my wife Joyce.
Joyce, Leonard, Sophie.
- Hi.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas to you.
- I'm Tommy.
- Hi, Tommy. Merry Christmas.
And who's this?
- She can't talk yet.
- She can't... ha ha ha.
- Merry Christmas, dear.
- Look at this guy.
Couple of years
younger, I'm fighting a gut.
You got him in training or what?
So what do you think, Frank?
Last time I saw you,
it was just Tommy.
- You've been busy.
- Well, you better get busy.
I'm way ahead.
- Don't you worry.
Frank is gonna have a family
as big as yours, right, Frank?
- Well, actually, we don't
plan on having children.
- Wrong thing to say, Frank.
Mama's bucking
for more grandkids.
- All right.
Not now, but maybe later
on you'll want your own family.
- Mama, I have a son.
And we both have careers.
We're not thinking
about a family.
- You have careers.
What is a life without
children in the home?
Joyce, you were married before.
You don't have, uh, children?
- No, I don't.
- Well, no matter what your
feelings are, yours and Frank's,
I'll tell you that, uh,
no marriage is blessed
unless there are children.
- Jesus Martinez, Sergeant,
paralegal for Attorney Brown.
- What can I do for
you, Mr. Martinez?
- I'm here to talk to one
of Attorney Brown's clients,
Jermaine Burton.
- Uh, interrogation
room B, Mr. Martinez.
- Thank you, Sergeant.
- What do you want?
- Detectives La Rue
and Washington around?
- Inside.
- Officer.
- Where's Mr. Brown?
- Where's Mr. Green?
- That's down payment.
- I don't see where it says,
uh, made in Switzerland.
Oh, there, right there.
That's from Mexico.
Come on.
- That's onyx.
- That's jive.
- Oh, come on, man.
What's the hold up?
- Come on. Come on.
Car keys.
Where's it parked?
- 112th off Decker.
- You live in 142nd.
You were busted on 129th.
And you're sure it's 112th?
Don't lie.
Who do you think you're
talking to, some little girl P.D.?
'Cause if it comes out
you're lying to me, Burton,
you're gonna be wanting 90 days.
You're gonna be asking
the judge to give you more.
- Maybe it was, uh,
130th off Van Buren.
- Retainer gratefully accepted.
- Come on, man.
It's a Bonneville.
- Beauty. Come
up with two grand,
so you can have your keys back.
Now, tell me, what went down?
- I got busted by a turkey.
- Sid, you delivered.
- Hey, guys, meet Leonard.
- Solid. Detectives, uh,
LaRue and Washington.
- Hey, fellas.
- Uh, Leonard, I
understand you had quite
a rep back in Baltimore.
- Tell him what you used to do.
- Got wasted.
- No, not that. With the
cars at the Speedway.
- Oh, you mean picking
them up, putting them down?
- He used to be
Mr. Baltimore Speedway.
- Uh, Len, uh, you ever
been in a tug-of-war.
- No, he knits a lot.
The man's got advanced
degrees in tugging.
- A little hungry, fellas.
- No problem.
Celeste, phone our guest
an order at Diamante's.
We'll pick it up on
the way back here.
- We'll take care of you.
- Uh, get what you want now.
Don't be shy.
- Couple of pizzas might do it.
- Did I do good, fellas?
- You did beautiful.
- Uh-huh.
So is the part where I
get, uh, tightened up?
- We combined your finder's fee
with a Christmas
present for you, Sid.
- Yeah, we figured,
it being Christmas,
cash was a little lame.
- Hey, I gotta tell
you something.
I'm no sentimentalist.
- Well, we decided to
get you a present instead.
- Fellas, I mean...
- Voila.
- Well, it ain't ticking.
My paper? My 416?
My $3600 winning ticket?
How'd you guys get
this out of evidence?
- You found that,
Sid. You understand?
- Capisce, sure.
- Hey, Merry Christmas, my man.
- You guys put me away,
and then you go and
do something like this.
Don't let anybody ever put down
American... All right?
Don't have anybody ever
knock law enforcement.
- All right.
- Det. LaRue, benefit
Olympics awaits.
- Gotta go, Sid.
- Drop the Glen
case with me later.
- All right.
- Come on. Let's go.
- You're driving.
- Whoa. Wait till
Renko sees him.
- Got a minute for me?
- Sure.
I haven't seen
the case report yet.
Was Hill and Renko's collar
the call you went out on?
- Right.
- Why'd you take that?
I mean, shouldn't that
have been a uniform call
from the beginning?
I picked up the phone.
I didn't have
nothing else to do.
- I don't want this to
be a beef between us.
But I do want to talk
about the procedure.
- Yo, Lieutenant.
- I'm busy now, Jesus.
- It's about your man here.
He busted one of
Attorney Brown's clients,
a Jermaine Burton, with
a dope-sniffing turkey.
- Yeah, and your man
turned out to be holding plenty.
- The thing is I drop a
dime at the zoo, Henry.
Turkeys and chicken
happen to be what, uh...
- Galiforms, which means
they got a poorly developed
olfactory sense.
Dude can't smell squat,
therefore no probably cause.
- Well, I'd be quite
surprised if the turkey
was grounds for
Lieutenant Buntz' arrest.
- The grounds was
your guy ran away
when I stopped
him for questioning.
All right?
- No sale, Lieutenant.
My client says it was
represented to him
he already had probable cause
behind a dope-sniffing turkey.
- Your client, Jesus?
I didn't know you
passed the bar.
- Don't need no lawyer degree
to smell a bum roust, Henry.
When Attorney Brown gets here,
your man is gonna be
eating the dark meat.
- Hey, you're the bright bunch
from the gangs, aren't you?
I heard about you.
- Give us a second, Jesus.
- Yeah, I'll give
you more than that.
- So?
- You read the same
policy numbers?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No subterfuge to
establish probable cause.
- Let case law clarify it.
Stan, would you release
a perp named Burton?
No probable cause.
- Right. That's great.
You want me to apologize
to the guy, too, huh?
You want me to give
him his dope back, huh?
- Come on, Norman.
- On behalf of these clients
of attorney Harold Brown,
I would like to buy
half a roll of tickets
for the Christmas Olympics.
- Your turkey client's
getting the boot.
- Oh, make that $10 more.
- All right.
Move on, and don't
let the door hit you
in the butt on the way out.
- Take it personal, lieutenant.
It's the nature of the
adversarial system.
Thank you.
- Hey.
- Oof.
- Now, you watch
your lip, bright boy.
You show your ugly face
around here anymore,
I'm gonna rip it off.
- Take it easy, man.
You're costing me
some dry-cleaning here.
- Ahem.
- Attorney Brown.
- Officer, you let my
paralegal go now.
- Ha ha ha. I told you
got nothing on me.
Now I'm right
back on the streets
doing my same old same
old. Been real fun, Lieutenant.
- Lieutenant, I'm filing a
legal complaint for harassment.
- Oh, jeez, I'm in
a panic, you know.
- It's Christmas.
Everybody's a little hot.
Let's all try to cool down here.
You okay, Jesus?
- Yeah. I'll live.
- Norm.
- Yeah, yeah.
I can't breathe in
this freaking place.
I'm suffocating in
this freaking place.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
Hey, a small world, isn't it?
- I missed you last few classes.
- You did?
- Uh, you, uh, lose interest?
- No, not really.
- Why'd you stop?
- Oh, you know, I... I don't
know... was feeling kind of weird.
- Ceramics?
- Uh, I was feeling
kind of weird about you.
- So it wasn't just one way?
- What does that mean?
- It wasn't just me
having a crush on you.
Listen, would you like to have
a cup of coffee or anything?
I'd like to talk to you
for a few minutes.
- Finished up your
shopping and...
- My wife and I
separated three days ago.
- No kidding.
- No kidding.
- I'm supposed to say
I'm sorry is what I...
- I am too.
I was talking with
anybody else...
If I was talking to anyone
but you, I'd say how we were
trying to get it back together,
we were hoping it
would still work out.
- And if you were
talking with me, then...
- Then I'd say I'd
like to do all the things
that I thought of us
doing together right now,
and I guess you might have
thought about doing, too.
- What's so funny?
- Well, you know, my
bedroom... I've been saying
for three years that I was
gonna start painting it, right?
So when do I start? Last night.
I... and it's great timing.
- It's not a problem.
- Um, let me get you
a beer or something.
Would you like a beer?
- Oh, uh, I don't know.
Uh, let me think
about it for a minute.
- Oh, holy cow.
- What?
- I am nervous.
And I guess that's
a good sign, huh?
- Yeah, why's that?
- Well, because if we're
gonna be casual about this,
I mean, we probably
shouldn't even be here at all.
- That store, I was
close to getting arrested
for public lewdness.
- I wanted to jump
you right there.
- You did?
- Mm.
- I was feeling a little
warm myself, a little caliente.
You know, we
don't have to do this.
- I know.
- I mean, being
separated only three days,
maybe it's...
Do you want to?
- Uh-huh. You?
- Uh-huh. A lot.
- Sophie's mom has
been living with us ever
since the old man died,
drives Sophie crazy.
Maybe you want to
take her home with you.
- What's with Pop?
- Uh, some things never change.
- When I call, he won't
even get on the phone.
- Frank, he doesn't
know what to say.
Your divorce, it
was like something
from outer space for him.
They don't even
mention it to their friends.
- She may be a
perfectly nice person
but I don't feel
it's a natural union.
- Mama, she's his wife.
- In the eyes of the
church, Faye is still his wife.
I know my son. He
would want children.
- Mama?
- All this talk about careers...
'course, that...
that's not for Frank.
- Mama.
- What?
- Sophie's trying to tell
you I heard what you said.
- Oh, sure. You
were listening to us.
- Small house. It's hard not to.
- Small... small...
- She didn't mean it
the way it sounded.
- Oh, please.
- Mama.
- What... what I said,
I'd say to her face.
A career woman?
- That's enough,
Mama. Joyce is my wife.
Either you accept
her, or we're leaving.
- I... I can't help what I feel.
It's wrong.
- Yes or no, Mama.
- Now he attacks me, huh?
- Mama, please.
You're way out of line.
- Joe, don't talk to Mama...
- Sophie, please.
- I'll find Joyce.
- Frank. Frank, don't leave.
Frank, please...
- Mama. Mama. Mama.
- I don't want you to be a
stranger to my house, please.
- Joyce.
- Can we just get in
the car and go home?
- I'm... I'm sorry.
I... I really didn't think
it would come to this.
- You didn't, really?
- If you want to
leave, we'll leave.
- But you'd like me to give
her another chance, right?
Is that it?
Frank, I never should have come.
She'll never accept me.
- Joyce, listen to me.
I've talked about
this woman for years.
She flies off the handle.
She doesn't mean
10% of what she says.
- I disagree. I think she does.
Though maybe it's
not entirely her fault.
Have you ever told her
why your first marriage failed,
I mean, the real reason?
- No, I haven't.
- Well, you can't duck
things for six years,
Frank, and expect
them to go away.
- You see how...
- Did you tell her that
I can't have children?
- You see how she is.
I haven't discussed any
of those things with her.
- You mean she uses
hysterics to make you feel guilty,
so you say nothing.
- Don't psychoanalyze
her. You watch.
She'll come out
and talk to you now.
- Wonderful. I can't wait.
- Just your basic family visit.
- That was wonderful.
- Amen.
- You know, I'm glad we did it.
- Me too.
- I mean, there's no obligation
at all, to either one of us.
- I understand.
- You know what I want?
Can I tell you?
- Of course.
- I want for us to be close.
- Yeah, well, we are.
Couldn't have got much closer.
- I didn't screw us...
us up, do I, by doing...
- Oh, no, no.
No way.
I ought to go.
- They don't remember
how it really was.
They don't even remember
how they worried about Frank.
Did you know Frank when
he was married to Faye?
- I met him just
after they divorced.
- He was in bad shape then.
Does he drink anymore?
- Not at all.
- You've done a lot
for him, and it shows.
You know, Frank and I, we've
always liked different things,
like country mouse,
city mouse, you know.
I really love that guy.
I miss seeing him a lot.
- You should come
and see us, Joe.
- You really want a bunch
of country mice up there?
- We'd like it very much.
- Go, go, go.
A sterling effort...
- Heard your groin
might have popped.
Horrible pain when they go.
And if the intestine
get strangulated,
hey, it can be a
matter of minutes.
- Joe, you have to
capture this one, Joseph.
Think of Atlas.
Recall the warrior king.
- I got you,
Lieutenant. I got you.
- You ready?
- Contestants, ready?
- It's dead even at this point.
Officer Renko, lane
three, is taking the lead
and pushing ahead by
two lengths, looking strong.
- Wait. Oh... oh,
no, he's hurting.
- Renko, get up.
- He's down.
He's in pain, big guy.
Here comes Officer
Joe Coffey behind.
He goes, and he
wins it by a nose.
A remarkable victory for the...
- Don't hit my back, please.
- Brown and Martinez agreed
to withdraw the complaint.
- Well, hip-hip-freaking-hooray.
- Guess this is what they
mean by a skeleton crew.
- Jeez, I always
wondered about that.
- I don't want to be enemies.
- Look, I got a style.
You understand?
I get cut off from my instincts,
I'm taking a shortcut to dead.
- I wish I had your instincts.
But you can't turn
them into the law, Norm.
You know that.
- Yeah, well, at least
I got the creep off
the streets for a while, huh?
- It's another conversation.
- Uh, favor, one of you.
- Yeah, sure.
- What do you need?
- I was such a sport letting
people go to those Olympics.
Uh, one of you do a street
call for me on your way home?
- Jeez, I don't know, Sarge.
Uh, shouldn't that be one of
the, uh, uniforms, Dispatch?
- I know that. I told
you I'm shorthanded.
- He's busting my stones,
Stan. I'll take the call.
- No, I'll take it.
- It's a repeat domestic.
Or, to be technical, it
ought to be two cops.
- Come on. I'll show
you some instinct.
- See you later, Stan.
- Last man at the Alamo.
- When I first defended
him, he was the Cisco Kid,
complete with
pearl-handled pistol.
- Cap pistols.
- Then I represented
him as Cochise.
- The Indian?
- Mm-hmm.
- You know about Cochise?
- You don't know what I
know. Did he have arrows?
- Uh, war paint, bare
chested, feathers.
- Crazy, the world's gone crazy.
Well, I think that, to
do the work you do,
you must be very
smart and very brave.
- She is.
- Pop?
I want you to meet
my wife Joyce.
- Mr. Furillo.
- Nice to meet you.
Hi, Charlie.
Ha ha. Here's my girl.
Oh, see, that's a pretty
red dress you got on.
- After six events, the
score stands even at 3-3.
The deciding event
will be the tug-of-war.
Will the contestants for this
event please take your position?
- How you doing, Len?
- Pretty good.
- What do you mean, pretty good?
That's an ex-middle
linebacker back there.
These guys imported
the genuine article.
- Look, the dot
part gets better.
- Dots? The dot part?
- I had a shrimp pizza.
Sometimes I get a bad
reaction from shellfish.
But things are pretty good.
- All around.
Now we're gonna
have to suck it up.
We're gonna break this tie.
We have to hone ourselves
in to an Oriental-like
concentration for
the task at hand.
We are no longer individuals.
We belong to the
great chain of being.
We are the rope. Put
your hands right here.
Put your hands and
say, we are the rope.
The rope is life.
- We are the rope.
The rope is life.
- Okay. Everyone, plant
those feet and get a firm grasp
on the rope...
- I am the rope.
- 'cause this one is it.
- The rope is life.
- This is the big one.
One of these teams...
- All right. Get ready.
- Is going home
with a trophy and one
with one hell of
a cleaning bill.
Okay. They're digging
in. They're pulling.
- Dig in!
- Pull, pull!
- I'm seeing dots.
- Ignore them.
- Come on. Come on.
- Firemen seem to be weakening.
There's no doubt about it.
- Pull!
There they go.
- Let's hear it for 'em, folks.
- Every man for himself.
- Oh, wait. Hold on. Hold up.
- Now, come on. What are you...
- That big guy's out of control.
Somebody stop that guy.
There goes another one.
- Yay!
- No house yet, Frank?
- Still an apartment.
- Joe has got a...
A really nice place.
- Frank, you've seen it.
We've redone the inside,
and we've added a deck.
- Sounds terrific.
- I read the papers
about your commission.
You could be the
next chief of police.
- Oh, I'm not counting on it.
- Uh, he's too modest, Pop.
The TV news... the TV news
says that he should have the job.
- Frank, have you seen
Joe's new office building yet?
- He was telling me about it.
- Oh, you ought to see it.
Oh, it's really
something to be proud of.
- Sophie's so good with them.
Do you like children?
- Very much.
Mrs. Furillo, I'm not
able to have children.
Frank and I have
talked about adopting.
We've talked about
all kinds of things.
But the reality is we can't have
a family the way we'd like to.
- The things I said, what I did.
I feel so foolish.
All I want for Frank
is that he be happy.
- So do I.
- Hmm, this old kitchen.
Next time you come,
Frank, all new dishwasher,
microwave oven, what they call,
uh, a touch top
stove... all new.
- Just decided?
- That's right.
Your father wanted to
do it years ago, but I, uh,
I've hung on to a lot
of silly old opinions.
But no more, Frank, no
more silly old opinions.
I mean it this time.
- I'm glad, Mama.
- Yep.
You get old, and
stupid ideas get fixed
in your head like a
curtain that hangs in front
of what you really feel.
No more, Frank.
Next time you come, all new.
I promise.
- Please don't let him jump.
- What's going on?
- He climbed up.
The landlord
said if he didn't get
a job by 5, we have to move.
- Time's up.
- Hey, policemen, he wants
to throw me out at 5:00.
I'm not moving from here.
- Look at this idiot. I
should let him jump.
- You should have pity.
- Have pity, huh?
So what I'm doing,
gonna offer him
the super's job at my
other building, 423.
My manager got stabbed.
They tell you to
own property. Ha.
- Be careful, junior.
- He's all right.
He's all right.
- Mrs. Pinzon, I think
this is a fair range
for Mr. Garcia's making.
- Look, I'm good with
my hands. He knows that.
I fixed his stoop before.
- And you should look for work.
Boss this, too. I want
it for the back rent.
- I'm gonna try.
- Hey, Lieutenant,
case closed, huh?
Hey, let's not have
our birthdays here.
- I'm just sketching this out.
It's kind of a budget
you can aim for.
- Thank you.
- You see? My luck has changed.
- Hey, pal...
You know, uh, I used
to ask my priest...
We'd, uh, cross ourselves
before the big game.
I'd say, Father, is that
gonna make us win?
And he'd say, it will
if you block your man.
You understand what
I'm saying here, huh?
You gotta help yourself.
You gotta hold up your end.
Otherwise, that's gonna
be our Lady of Eviction.
- That's right. Good for you.
- I understand.
- 'Course, uh, I
don't understand
how you expect to turn a
buck, being how you're keeping
this thing a state secret.
- What do you mean?
- Did you ever hear
of advertising, hmm?
Get a little word
of mouth going.
Let the people know
the freaking thing
is up here, huh?
Hey, Merry Christmas,
kid. I hope you get a full one.
- Made sense,
what you said to him.
- The guy's a jerk.
He's sitting on
top of a nice buck.
Here, look at this.
Uh, religious vision... there's
a religious vision upstairs,
the fourth floor, apartment
407, contributions voluntary.
Religious vision.
Go on up and see
the holy vision, huh?
Upstairs, the holy vision.
Right upstairs here, ma'am.
Go see the holy
vision. Go on. Take it in.
Check it out, huh?
Okay. I'll see you later.
Merry Christmas.
Holy vision upstairs.
- Hello?
Hello?
Anybody there?
- The doc said
everything's okay.
The doc said I could go out.
I'm fine.
Robin, can we
please get married?
- What do you mean?
I mean, I thought
we settled that.
- I know we're getting married.
I mean, can we... can
we get married right away?
I just want all of
us to know that
we're in this together and
that we love each other.
And I want the baby
to know that, too.
- That's the sweetest thing.
- I was so afraid we
were gonna lose it.
- We're not. It's
not gonna happen.
- So can we get married?
- When?
- Tonight.
- You don't want
friends and stuff?
- No.
- We're only gonna do this once.
All right. How
about in two weeks?
- Two weeks from today?
- I'm available.
- That's it. That's final.
- Tonight, we
decorate the trees.
- Pop?
- There's some kind
of a bird in this wood.
Maybe a widget, golden eye,
maybe even a little
cinnamon-winged teal.
It's important to know
because you gotta commit to it.
You make a mistake at the first,
there's no way to
ever make it right.
- We're getting ready to leave.
- Glad you came. Your
mother misses you.
- Joe wants to bring
mom over to visit us.
I'd like it very much
if you came along.
- Oh, no. Now, you
show her a good time.
I wouldn't know what
to do up in the big city.
- Uh, yeah, I guess
I'll see you next time.
- When you see Faye and
the boy, give them our love.
- Joyce, you want to take this?
- Sure.
- Mama. Thank you.
You too. Be well.
- Merry Christmas, Frank.
- Merry Christmas.
Thanks for everything.
- Frank, don't be
a stranger, huh?
- I won't be. I promise.
- And bring the kid.
I'd like to see him.
- I will. It was good
to come home.
- Don't worry about
the old man. He's rough.
But I'll work on him.
He'll come around.
Frank, she's a great
gal. She really is.
- Don't leave now.
Stay for the weekend.
- There's lots of
room at our place.
- Oh, thank you.
We... we've already paid
for the cabin up at the lake.
We'll come back soon.
- Oh, okay. All right.
- What?
- Just be a minute.
We didn't say good-bye.
I love you, Papa.
Bye, Pop.
- Good luck to you, son.
- For five years, I'd
been afraid I'd wind up
standing at my father's grave
thinking about all the things
I wanted to say to
him and never did.
Thanks for coming with me.