Hill Street Blues (1981–1987): Season 3, Episode 12 - Santaclaustrophobia - full transcript

Item 10...

As regards "Operation Santa"...

Wherein Detectives Hackley,
Sabatino and Belker...

will be working 112th St.
At the Avenue "B" overpass,

Rappaport's Department
Store, the Jefferson Avenue Mall,

and the Blue Line
subway entrance...

at 118th Street and
People's Drive, respectively.

Item 11: I remind
you yet again...

of the seasonal
increase in suicide,

aggravated assault, D&D,

and your ever-popular homicide.



Pursuant to these
grim realities,

I give you Item 12.

Now, let's exhibit sound
judgment out there today,

and hold to a minimum
the nuisance-type busts.

Neither this precinct
nor the courts it serves...

look kindly on a last-minute...
Cupid, Comet, Dancer,

Donder, Blitzen,
Prancer... frenzy of Mickey

Mouse arrests, and
attendant paperwork.

The day before
Christmas is no time...

to pad your collar count.

Item 13: The
Christmas gift drive...

for the patients of All
Angels Children's Hospital...

under the personal
supervision of Lt. Howard Hunter.

Last-minute gifts for
these young unfortunates...



are being wrapped near the
front desk even as we speak,

and delivery of same is
scheduled at 4:30 p.m.

Blitzen, Comet, Donder... Officers
Hill, Renko, Kresky, Mankiewitz...

Dasher. Coffey, Bates
and Detectives Bogburn...

LaRue, Washington, Belker and
Goldblume... Cupid, Blitzen, Dancer...

Will convene at 4:15
sharp in the parking lot.

For transport to
Children's Hospital,

carpooling is recommended.

Appropriate wardrobe
for Santa's helpers...

has been provided
free of charge...

by Kowalski's Costume
and Party Supply Rentals.

So, uh, leave us keep
these good people in mind...

when we come upon
their delivery trucks...

occasionally parked in life's
myriad no-loading zones.

Item last: Lieutenant Calletano
has asked me to remind you...

of a little holiday
celebration...

here in Roll Call
commencing at 6:00 p.m.

So, as you move
off to your various...

Christmas Eve celebrations,

take the moment for
some good fellowship,

good groceries...

and non-alcoholic holiday cheer.

I stress "non-alcoholic..."

Cupid, Dasher and Vixen. with
specific reference to last year's...

pair of revelers who,
under the influence,

were discovered partaking of
each other's good will semi-naked...

in the middle cell of the
garden-level holding facility.

All right, that's
it. Let's roll.

And let's be careful out there.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey!

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Sarge.

I like it when them little chipmunks
sing in them high voices like that.

They sing them Christmas songs.
I like that a lot. Hey. Hey, come on.

Forget about it. Don't say that.

Come on, man, huh?

J.D., Neal.

Robbery/Assault at the Hotel
Richmond, 3500 block of East Utica.

Why can't Washington
Heights take it?

Because it is still
our precinct. Big deal.

Come on, man. One lousy block.

This is your basic
"bah, humbug."

Shot up an all-night laundry.
Miracle nobody got hurt.

Had to use tear gas.

No!

Take it easy!

You got me!

Hey, you never heard of "peace
on Earth, good will to men,"

you little creep?

♪♪

Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, Henry.

Merry Christmas to you,
Howard. Who's your friend? Ho, ho.

Thank you. Oh, Howard...

I got you a little
something for the hospital.

Oh, Thank you,
Henry. That's cute.

Howard? Yeah?

Is this really
the kind of toy...

we want to be giving
to these children?

Henry, unlike some knee-jerk,
liberal, Chicken Littles,

who believe that toy guns
are harmful to a child's psyche,

I am convinced
that they provide...

harmless ventilation
for juvenile aggression.

You know, this is really a
very nice knockoff, Ballantine.

Judas H. Christmas.

Dispatch. We have a 9-11.

Armed robbery in progress.

See surplus store, corner
People's Drive, 124th Street.

You all want to
move aside, please?

Let me get this poor woman
out of here. Take this thing down.

Make some kind of report, and
I'll deal with the suits out here.

Be real careful going down
the stairs, and get this thing out.

If you want a motorcycle
escort or something,

go ahead and ask for it.

They don't need one? What
have you got here, Renko?

The first victim was
"ambulanced" off to Mercy...

with gunshot and about
a dozen knife wounds.

We got a second
victim right over there.

Several witnesses describe the
perpetrator as either four male latinos,

or three male blacks...
Take your pick...

Fleeing the premises in a
light blue or possibly yellow...

late-model Ford or
Pontiac, take your pick.

Said perps come in
assorted heights, weights,

distinguishing
characteristics, et cetera.

Get 'em over to the station and
run 'em through the mug books.

How clever. Why
didn't I think of that?

You got a problem with me?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.

Anybody that brings an
attitude like you got to me...

the day before Christmas is gonna have
a problem. Hey, you want it, you got it.

Let's canvass the neighborhood.
We'll let the guy do his thing.

Come on. Come on.

Further felicitations of the
season to you too, good buddy.

♪♪Merry Christmas.

Ho, ho, ho.

Merry Christmas.

- Ho, ho, ho.
- ♪ Christmas tree ♪

Merry Christmas, lady.

Oh, ho.

Merry Christmas.

♪ O Christmas tree
O Christmas tree ♪

What? You ain't no Santa.

The hell I'm not. You're
too ugly to be a Santa.

Come on, kid. Take a powder.

Rotate on it, slim.

Hey, hey. How would you like a nice,
crushed vertebra for Christmas, kid?

You know what I think? What?

I think you're a cop. Hey. Hey.

I'm right, ain't I? Just
keep it down, will ya?

What's the scam here, Jack?

Look, kid...

Here's a couple of
bucks. What do you say?

You want to go to a movie
or something? Get lost?

Come on, beat it.

Check you later, Mr. Policeman.

I am drunk, I am disorderly...

and I am prepared
to be arrested.

Sir, you're not drunk enough, and you're
not disorderly enough to be arrested.

Now have a candy cane
and get on out of here.

You ain't hearing me, white boy.

I said I wanna be
arrested and serve time...

at the Michigan Avenue complex.

Come on. Uh, Leo? What
seems to be the trouble, huh?

This guy wants to be arrested...

so he can have Christmas dinner
at the Michigan Avenue complex.

Sir, why don't you
just mosey over...

to Jefferson Avenue
Men's Shelter?

They serve up a mighty
fine Christmas dinner.

See? You don't know nothin'.

They serve ham over there.

I cannot eat ham.

It "disconveniences" my stomach.

They serve turkey...

at the Michigan Avenue complex.

Well, you're gonna have to
commit a substantial misdemeanor...

before we can incarcerate you.

You want substantial?
I've got your substantial.

Hey, mama! Check this out.

I'm buck naked!

Can't somebody
arrest this pervert?

Insufficient
evidence, Mrs. Furillo.

Okay, buck, you win
your turkey. Come on.

Two of the people from the market
were taken over to Saint John's.

Beaten unconscious
with baseball bats.

One of them a 65-year-old lady.

Same four guys, Lieutenant.

You know, nothing ever
changes around here, Frank?

What? Well, I was just
accosted by a naked pervert.

What kind of person does
that the day before Christmas?

Fay, I have a ton of work to
finish before I leave here tonight.

Have you packed
Frank Jr.'s suitcase yet?

Well, uh, Frank, I'm
having second thoughts.

We're leaving on a 7:00 flight.
It's too late for second thoughts.

Yeah, but what if he gets
hurt? He's not gonna get hurt.

It's three days on the bunny
slope, not the Swiss Alps.

Besides which, it was your
idea for us to take him with us...

so you could go to Bermuda
with Judge what's his name.

Frank. Oh, excuse
me, Mrs. Furillo.

Frank, Bates and Coffey brought
in two more robbery/assault victims.

Same M.O. as the welfare hotel.

God's sake, that's the
third one this morning.

And we just got word on
another one in the Heights.

Let's coordinate with Jack Armetta up
there. No sense in duplicating efforts.

Do we have these people
going through the mug books?

Sure. Sure. And I've got Rich
Velasquez working on composites.

Good. Keep me posted.

Merry Christmas, Mrs. Furillo.

Oh, thank you, Ray. Same
to you and Rosa. Gracias.

Now, Frank...

I have all Frank Jr.'s presents right
here, but you have to promise me...

that you'll get a nice little
Christmas tree to put them under.

He's had a Christmas tree every
year of his... He'll have a tree.

And, Frank, whatever you do,

please, please don't
forget to hang his stocking.

It's the first thing he looks for when
he gets up on Christmas morning.

And I've already filled it,
you know, with little presents...

and-and candy and
things, you know, that...

But the five-and-dime was out...

of those little caramel
swirls that he's used to and...

Fay. It's... It's all right.

Well, it hurts, Frank.

You know, it's... It's the first
year that I won't be with him,

and-and with you gone too...

I hate palm trees
at this time of year.

I'll call you at your hotel the
moment he starts opening presents...

so you can be in on it
every minute of the time.

Okay?

Remember our first Christmas
together? I mean, as a family?

We were in the Lynwood
Avenue apartment.

Frank Jr. was about
four months old. Aw.

I must have spent half the night trying
to put that tricycle of his together,

and I sat on it for one second
and it broke into about 48 pieces.

I think that was our
best Christmas ever.

Listen, Frank, uh...

When you get back, do you think we
could have Christmas dinner together?

I mean, the three of us. I know
it'll be a couple days late, but...

It'd kind of be like old times.

Yes. I'd like that a lot.

Oh, Bobby? There's a
gentleman over by the front desk...

to see you.

Uh, what brings you to town?

What brings me to town?

What kind of question is that?

I'm here to spend Christmas
with my one and only son.

What else? And damn, you
look good, boy. You look like aces.

As a matter of fact, you look better
than aces. You look downright flush.

What else brings you to town?

Listen at you, boy.

Soundin' like one of
these police interrogators.

'Course, now that you
mention it, I do have...

a little end-of-the-fiscal-year business
to conduct with some local associates,

but primarily, we are talking
about a family visit here, son.

Merry Christmas to you, boy.

Go on.

Why do you want to
write me a check for $500?

Oh, be... Because
it's Christmas.

And I have always said...

a man can never be too long on a
little pocket change come the holidays.

'Course, only 350
of that's for you,

the other 100 and a half being
sorely needed by your old man.

That is, if you got the
spare cash on hand.

On account of that being an
out-of-state check, I figured you'd have...

a lot easier time running it through your
neighborhood bank than I would with mine.

But damn, boy,

if you ain't gettin' handsomer
and handsomer every year.

And they got nerve
enough to tell me that you

always did favor your
mama in that regard.

Look, I gotta go,

but now, come punch-out time,

I want you to call me
at the Kenmore Hotel...

and let your old man treat
you to some Christmas dinner.

I don't know. I mean, I...

Now, Bobby. Bob.

Don't give me no ifs,
ands, buts or whatsoevers.

You call me, boy. Call me!

And, Bobby, don't go
spending all of that in one place.

What do you mean,
you're not gonna call him?

It's Christmas Eve,
and he's your old man.

I told you, Renko, he's nothin'.

He never acted like my father.
He's not family. He's nothin'.

I don't understand
this mentality.

Just how old were
you when he left?

About six, I guess.

Four kids, a wife...

And he never so much as sent
us a postcard till six months later.

Every year it's the
same damn thing.

Whenever he needs
a little traveling money,

or whenever the cards or the
horses bring him back to town.

I never had the nerve to
tell him what I thought of him.

Damn, why doesn't
he just leave me alone?

Hey, man, don't do that.
That's a gift. That's $500.

It's bogus, Renko. The man never
wrote a good check in 20 years.

So let's just eat.

I'll kick myself
till the day I die...

for not making things right with
my daddy before he passed on.

Well, I don't have
anything to work out, Renko,

so let's just
drop it, all right?

Take my advice, Bobby Hill.

You get straight with that
man. You've got to get straight.

He's the only daddy you got.

Look, look... We go down
to Wisniewski's Poultry...

and we buy a nice,
fresh turkey, okay?

You can't go wrong with a
fresh bird, Neal. It's a real gesture.

Do you remember that stew I used
to date that got pregnant on me?

Roxanne, huh? Remember her?

Was she steamed up with me, huh?

Okay, so it's
Thanksgiving, right?

I show up at her apartment with a
fresh turkey. Another guy's there.

She kicks his butt out, we
cook the bird. What a night.

Damn it, J.D., I didn't
make this woman pregnant.

I killed her husband. It
was an accident, man.

Give yourself a break.

You know, you're beating
yourself up over something...

I bet she doesn't even
hold you responsible for.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

Sure I am. Come
on. Huh? Come on.

We'll go down, we'll pick up
a bird and we'll be down there.

The gift of food breaks down
a lot of emotional barriers.

Ah. Creamed sewage on
rye. Good choice, Belker.

What's the latest on
those crazies, Henry?

Uh, three assaults on the
Hill, two in Jefferson Heights.

Guy's going for
some kind of record.

Howard. Uh, Henry.

Drugs, no doubt.

Speed, animal
tranquilizers, juice.

Doll, can I have a menu?

So, tell me, Henry.

What do Jews do at
Christmas, anyway?

I don't know,
Howard. Go to Miami?

Thank you.

I've been invited to dinner
at the Wolfowitz's home.

Uh, I was wondering if
there's some sort of a ritual gift?

Uh, sweet wine, or
perhaps a fruitcake or...

I'm... I'm trying to
convince them...

that I'm the appropriate
suitor for their daughter's hand.

Howard. Intending... To
take a jewess for my wife.

Right. What's wrong with that?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Do the parents know you're...

of the Christian faith?

Well, I intend to fly my
colors, if that's what you mean.

Thank you.

My good woman, do
you have the temerity...

to call this paste gravy?

Why, you rotten Nazi slime.

Well, that's a typical female's inability
to accept corrective input, Henry.

It's the day before Christmas,

my husband has deserted
me for a 19-year-old tootsie,

my kids never call me,
I'm having hot flashes...

and I made that gravy. Oh. Uh...

Oh! Well, I might have been premature
in my judgment, madam. It's first rate.

I can't stand it anymore.
My compliments to the chef.

I just can't take it.
I wish I was dead.

It's gonna be okay.
Nice goin', crud brain.

Sorry, guys. No
Reggie Hill here.

- Uh, how about Reggie Hilbert?
- Nah.

Hilbert Reginald. Mm-mmm.

Regis Reginald. Uh-uh.

- Regis Hillstone.
- Hillstone?

You lookin' for that bum too?

Yeah, well... Well, sort of.

Well, if you find him,
I want a piece of him.

Guy waltzed out of his bill
not more than an hour ago.

Even beat me out of the velour
towels. What do you got on him?

Bunko? Yeah, bunko, I bet.

L-Look, mister, uh... Harv.

Harv, this is
probably our fault.

You see, he probably
thought we were hot on his tail,

and so he... he cut out on it.

Will 25 cover it?
Includin' the towels?

Towels. Yeah.

Sorry for the inconvenience.
Merry Christmas.

Yeah, have a good one
yourself. You like that, Martin?

I don't believe this.
I don't believe this.

First he does a number on me,
then he says he'll be at the hotel,

then he leaves me with the damn
bill and goes out the back door.

You got to admire the criminal mastermind,
Bobby. So are we gonna go get him?

No! What are you talkin' about?

You gonna let it drop just
like this, him disappearing?

Four possible suspects,
male. Are you gonna let it drop?

Green Grand Prix, last
seen headed northbound.

2202 responding. Over.

Roger, 2202. We
copy. Come on, Renko.

Merry Christmas.

Ho, ho.

♪♪

Come on, lady. You wanna move?

Yo, brother! Santa's a cop.

♪♪

Move!

What's with you?
I got free Speech.

You little hair bag.
You are coming with me.

I can hold as long as you can.

I'll bet. Bye.

Who do we have
responding, Henry?

Hill, Renko, Simmons,
Obradovitch, Morley, Gemigniani,

plus all Eastside Park on the
perimeter. I think they changed cars.

Now we got a report they are driving a
late-model black Oldsmobile, no plate.

What's the count? Seven
incidents, three shootings.

Thank you. The lady in the
133rd Street robbery just died.

Soon as we get ballistics,
distribute citywide.

And keep an open
line to Mercy. All right.

How are we coming
on the photos, Phil?

Some of the victims are in
troubled straits, but they're trying.

I sent Mueller over to Mercy
with some more mug books. Good.

Sarge? Yes?

You wanna take care of this
sawed-off little delinquent?

He was obstructing an
ongoing police operation.

Well... Who you
calling a delinquent?

You jarhead... You
jarhead in a red suit.

Here's the grandmother's
address, Sarge.

Oh. Say, Pepe...

Will you escort young Herman
to the "B" level "incarcetorium"...

while I see if I can
locate the legal guardian?

Lieutenant? I got a photo I.D...

On a kid that I think
is still in County.

Joe and I picked this kid up
about two weeks ago on a "burg."

He pulled 60 days, so
he's still in County, right?

The week before
Christmas? They all walk.

LaRue, Washington.
Get going. You too, Bates.

Where? The kid's
address is in the Heights.

Right. Good. Get
backups from over there.

Hey, Flynn, keep going
with the books here.

Henry, let's run
this Rivera through...

Corrections, Gang
Intervention, B.C.I...

Howard... I got it, Ray.
Webster, Ballantine, Saltoun.

- Police!
- Get out of here!

You got no business
in here, man.

Hey, what are
you doing in there?

Here. It's for you. It's a
warrant. All right, where is he?

Who? You know who. Luis.

I don't know no Luis, man.
Hey! You leave that stuff alone.

Bedroom's clean. So
you don't know Luis, huh?

Whose is this
gonna be then, huh?

You're under arrest, sugar.
This is a bust. I don't live here.

- This is my cousin Tina's place.
- Hey, looks like
a little blow too, Babe.

Hey, you're flakin' me,
pigs. You lousy pigs!

Come on. This is my
cousin Tina's place. I told you.

Get out of here!
This is my cousin...

You know the lady died. You
saying I killed some old woman?

It's called being
an accessory, kid.

It's called harboring a
fugitive, obstruction of justice...

You're 18 now,
sugar. Gloves come off.

- You gotta set my bail, man.
- You're not getting bail,
Carmen.

It's Christmas. You
gotta give me bail.

Hey, Carmenita, you ever
been lost in the system?

You know, we put you on a
bus with the wrong paperwork.

Maybe takes you three, four
days just to get to Michigan Avenue.

What do I know
what he does, huh?

- You know.
- I don't know.

A guy named Miguel from County.

Dudes he met inside. More
names, Carmen. Más nombres.

Miguel. Alonzo.

That's all.

Release her.

Come on. Come on!

Henry, have Maris
and William follow her,

and run the names
through Corrections.

You see, he's my
daughter Cynthia's,

and she lives in Roanoke.

She went to Florida
for a few days...

with her boyfriend
for the holidays.

So they sent up Herman. Herman!

Get in here. Get...
Get back here.

They sent Herman
up to me and his papa.

Only his papa's
working all the time,

and in the meantime he's
just going from bad to worse.

Ma'am, I can appreciate
the difficulty, but... But nothin'.

Either he goes to the belt
room and gets a whuppin',

or I don't take him home.

Ooh. "The belt room."

Yes, and I took my eldest
there when he was cuttin' up,

and he's a motorman now.

And I brought Charles here... Well,
he got a whuppin' every other week.

But he's a minister, and
that was 22 years ago.

Well, you see, the belt room
is occupied at the moment.

We have a particular
incorrigible...

who's being administered, uh,

seventy strokes.

I figure a young fella your
age, 40, 45 should suffice.

You know, you better hope you
get a pillow for Christmas, young fella.

What's the trouble
here, Sergeant?

Well, I'm gonna take this young
incorrigible down to the belt room...

and see if I can effect a
little change in attitude.

Oh, well, w-wait a minute You
had the last one, didn't you?

- That's right, I did, sir.
- Well, I...

I think I'll have a
crack at this one.

Yes, sir.

Sit down. You gonna whip me?

Nah, we don't do that here.

Bull. I know what
goes on in these places.

What I actually wanted
to talk to you about was...

how long you think
you're gonna be here.

What do you want
to know that for?

Till a few days after Christmas,
you think? Something like that.

You in school? Yeah, I go.

I heard your grandma
out there. Uh...

I have a sneaking suspicion...
Maybe you're mad at some people.

Some people you think
maybe don't love you.

Like who?

Your mother, maybe?

Why did she have to go to Florida
with that dude? Maybe she's tired.

Needs a vacation. I don't know.

I have a little boy too.

He's not gonna be spending
Christmas with his mother either.

Why? Does she hate him? No,
she doesn't hate him. She loves him.

It's just that, sometimes, when a
mother and a father aren't living together,

i-it's hard for them to,

uh, explain things
right to their kids.

You know?

Like, uh, to say
they love you...

when they're not
with you all the time.

That's all I wanted to tell you.

Come on. No, really. That's all.

That other dude...
He's gonna whip me?

I told you, we
don't do that here.

You wanna shake hands instead?

If I do, do I gotta be good?

No.

You just have to remember
how many people love you.

Merry Christmas.

What are you doing here?

Mrs. Moldonado, I
know it's not anything,

but it's the holidays
and I thought...

I bought you a gift.

This how you pay
off your guilt, huh?

Disgrazia, you
killed my husband.

I know I did, ma'am.

But it was an accident.
That's what you say.

Police investigation...
Big deal.

You all stick together.

Ma'am, if I could bring
him back, I'd do anything.

Why don't you do yourself a big
favor and just get out of here, huh?

Because if you're asking me
to forgive you, forget about it...

because I'll never forgive you.

I wish it were that simple.

I wish you could say something.
Then maybe I could sleep at night.

Truth is, I know I
did the right thing.

But that doesn't change the
fact that your husband is dead...

and I killed him.

I don't know what
I'm doing here.

I guess I just wanted to make
some sort of contact with you...

to tell you I feel
for your loss.

You know what I'm doing tonight?

I'm going to stay
open until midnight...

because people buy a lot
of booze on Christmas Eve.

And then I'm going home alone...

And drink and cry on
the couch until I pass out,

because it's Christmas...

and I don't have my husband.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

I really am.

You are so sorry, huh?

I'll give you something
to be sorry about.

Because I am going to sue you
and your entire department's butt off...

for $3.2 million.

Tellin', you, Neal... Okay, men,
let's be careful with these costumes.

I've got to return them to Kowalski's
just the way they gave them to me.

Let's go, let's go. We're
getting a little late here.

I'm telling you, it's stupid. ♪♪

You took a shot. So what?
Hey, just leave me alone, John.

You want me to go get the
turkey back? It wasn't a turkey.

It was a damn goose.
All right, whatever, man.

I'll march right in and grab
the sucker. The hell with it.

I'll tell you something.
What you got here...

What you got is your classic
holiday depression syndrome.

It's strictly seasonal.

You can populate Toledo
with the number of dudes...

that have blown themselves
away over eggnog and mistletoe.

Yeah, that's just
what I need right now...

Some third-rate psychological
commentary on the holiday blues.

Man, you don't have clue
one to what's eatin' me,

so why don't you just do me a favor
and button it up for a couple of weeks?

Hey, come on.

Hey, now, you just
hold on a second, pal.

Come on, guys. It's Christmas
Eve. Go suck on a wreath, Coffey.

I've been eating a lot of
negative flak off you all day,

and it's gotten to wear kind of
thin. You know where the exit is.

Damn it, Hurley, will you
turn that off for a minute, man?

It's my fault the store
owner got blown away, huh?

It's my fault his old lady
told you to stuff the goose...

or turkey or
whatever the hell it is.

Man, you better
check the scoreboard...

before you start gettin'
too righteous with me,

because I have covered your sorry
butt through more times than I can count...

Through times when you weren't
even fit for a bench in a detox ward...

And now the one time that I need a
little understanding, you can't even...

Damn it, man, I asked you
to turn the damn thing off!

Hey, what are you doing? Whoa,
whoa, whoa. All right. Hey, hey, hey.

Tomorrow... Tomorrow.
I'll get you one twice as big.

Mind if I join you?

How long has it been
since the shooting?

Three months this Friday.

Have you talked
to anybody about it?

Furillo? Department psych?

Jill, LaRue, anybody?

I didn't think there
was any need to, Henry.

I mean...

I thought with a
little time I could...

get a handle on it, you know?

Have you?

It's coming back up on
me, Henry. I'm chokin' on it.

This job's full of
guys like you, Neal...

Want the world to think
they got it all under control.

Everything's cool.
No problem, no sweat.

Strong and silent. Ain't that
just part of the profile, huh?

Like hell it is.

You know what happens
to guys like that, Neal?

Guys like you who want to
keep it all inside themselves?

Sometimes it takes a
while... Years, maybe...

But sooner or later they lose everything
that ever meant anything to them.

Their friends,
families, the job.

Maybe they just end up
alone in the middle of the night,

staring down the barrel
of their service .38.

I-I-I want to talk
it out, Henry.

I want to deal with it.

But I just don't know how, man.

All right.

There is a counselor...

name of Brennan, out of midtown.

He's helped a lot of guys
through this sort of thing.

Go see him, will ya?

You got a lot of friends
in this department, Neal.

Try to lean on us
now and then, will you?

St. Valentine's Day Massacre,

Yom Kippur War, Christmas Eve,

rampage on the Hill.

What's it all about,
Bobby... The holiday motif?

Hill, Renko... Your
reindeer suits are waiting.

Well, I checked
out of the hotel.

Wanted to see when you was
gettin' off. You didn't check out.

You beat 'em for
25 bucks. I paid it.

Oh, come on, Bobby.

I'd have sent 'em a check in
the mail. I do it all the time, boy.

Now, come on, Bobby.
Have dinner with me tonight.

Forget about it. There's
nothin' here, Reggie.

Now, wait a minute, boy.
Don't you dare call me Reggie.

Good, bad or indifferent,
I'm still your father,

and don't you ever forget
it. Oh, no, you're not.

You never were.

I'm sick and tired of you blowing
into my life, churning up old wounds...

and then getting back on
the bus, leaving all over again.

I just want you
to leave me alone.

All right, Bobby.

I'll be going.

But listen, Bobby, I...

I could use a little
getting-away cash,

if you can spare it.

Bobby, I want you to
understand something, son.

I didn't come here
just to hurt you, boy.

And I didn't come
here just for the money.

Bobby, you gotta
understand, son, I'm just a...

I'm just a travelin' man.

Then do it. Travel.

Right now.

Bobby, I...

♪ Jingle bells
Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh Hey ♪

♪ Jingle bells jingle bells
♪ Merry Christmas, children.

Merry Christmas!

It was the...

'Twas the night
before Christmas...

and all through the hospital,

not a creature was stirring,
not even a marsupial.

The tree was all trimmed,
and outside it was snowing,

but the children were troubled
because Santa's not showing.

But wait. Here's his
wife and two of his fairies.

I'll ask them where's
Santa, and why is he tarry.

I don't know. He left the
North Pole over two days ago.

His sled was all gassed
and in tip-top condition.

I gave it a lube and
rewired the ignition.

Hey, I'm his personal
elf. I'm worried sick.

He's never this late.
It's not like Saint Nick.

♪♪ But hark. What's that racket?

- Could it be?
- No. Cannot.

- Sounds like a sled.
- Then it's got to be...

- Ho, ho, ho!
- Santa!

All right!

Merry Christmas, children.

Took a wrong turn at
Iceland, and two tires I blew.

- Santa!

But here I am now
with presents for you.

Merry Christmas!

Hey, did you see the
size of those kids' eyes...

when we yanked
back that curtain?

They were like saucers.
Aw, Mick, you were terrific.

Yeah. Thank you.
Man, am I pumped up.

We gotta do these
charity gigs more often.

I know what you mean,
man. I got another

benefit I gotta do in
just a couple of hours.

Yeah? What's her name,
J.D.? Loretta. Sicilian babe.

She is going to go hot with
desire over these elf threads.

Hey, Bobby, what have
you got going tonight?

Well, a bunch of us guys
are going over the Kubiaks'.

Jakilek's gonna throw
a Christmas bash.

Be nice to get these
antlers kind of worn down.

Are you gonna come,
Mick? No, I can't. I got a date.

Hey, we all have
dates. Bring her along.

Thanks anyway, but I
got a big dinner lined up,

and then a party with relatives.

You know. It's holiday stuff.

All units in the vicinity
North and Elmwood.

Pursuit in progress of late-model
black Oldsmobile four-door.

- Hey, listen up.
- Three prior 211s.

Suspects presumed
armed and dangerous.

Repeat: All units in the vicinity
of North... Sounds like our boys.

Up ahead, Neal.

Late-model black Oldsmobile
four-door. Suspects presumed...

All right, these crumbs are probably gonna
be packing a lot of metal, boys and girls.

Good. They're gonna need it.

Whoa! Oh, Lordy.

It's Christmas Eve and I'm gonna
get shot dead in a moose suit.

Grab that thing. Grab
that thing. Grab that thing.

Come on, get out.

Hold it right there. Oh! Ow!

Get up. Get up!

Freeze! Freeze!

Police. Freeze.

Shut up and move.

Move in there. Come on.

That's them. Those are the ones.

They did it. They
did it. You animals!

You filthy animals.

Everyone in Interrogation. Now!

Let's follow procedures
here, shall we, gentlemen?

Ray, I want all the victims sequestered
until we can arrange a lineup.

And I want that done as
soon as possible, Henry.

I'm not about to blow this
I.D. on some logistical screwup.

Yes, sir. Ray, call
the P.D.'s office,

and get their
representation down here.

J.D., Neal, get a jump on the
paperwork. Captain, you promise me...

You promise me that they're
gonna pay for what they did.

Promise me. We're doing
everything we can, Mrs. Grady.

Any word on Lucy?

Coffey rode with her in
the ambulance to Mercy.

She's in Intensive
Care. Keep me posted.

Thanks.

Uh, Neal, about this afternoon.

Hey, forget it, babe.
I don't wanna, man.

I can be a real
meathead sometimes,

but your friendship, uh...

It means more to
me than anything.

This is for you.

What's this, man? It's a
Christmas present, you melon.

What's it look like?

Uh, how about we
exchange 'em tonight?

After dinner?

This, uh, some kind of
half-assed dinner invitation?

I'll call Jill and ask her to set
a couple extra plates, okay?

You're on.

Hey, I'll bring the goose.

Don. Don, I won't know
that till we have a lineup.

Yeah. Yes, of course. Right.

You're a life saver, Counselor.

Hot waxed and flat filed.

You're going to be the fastest
Italian on snow since Gustavo Thoeni.

Who's that? Forget
it. You all set?

No, just a couple of details,
and I'll be right with you.

Frank, we've gotta go all the way
across town to pick up Frank Jr.,

and believe me, if
we miss this flight...

we'll be stranded at
that airport till Easter.

Excuse me, Francis.

Well, Ms. Davenport, don't
we look ravishingly Alpine?

Mm, mmm. Thank you, Phil.

Oh, Lucy Bates is
out of Intensive Care.

It was only a mild concussion.

They're gonna keep her overnight
for observation. That's great, Phil.

Listen, let's send her some flowers
from everyone. I'll pay for them.

All right. Phil,
send the bill to me.

Yes, Miss Davenport. Now what
about this unfinished business?

We ran a lineup for the
first two victims, Frank.

So far we're batting
a clean 1,000.

Good work, Henry.

We're out of here,
Counselor. Uh, Frank...

Chief Daniels on line five.

I think it sounds urgent.

Uh, tell him I've
gone skiing, Ray.

My kind of man.

Merry Christmas.

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ For the Lord God omnipotent ♪

♪ Reigneth ♪

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah Hallelujah ♪

♪ For the Lord God omnipotent ♪

♪ Reigneth ♪

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪♪

I am the ghost of
Christmas Present.

Look upon me. You have
never seen the like of me before.

I'm not sure I see
the like of you now.

- Oh, but I hear you.
- I hear you.

So I've heard.

You're the one who's
too tight with a penny...

to buy himself a
pair of spectacles.

Come! Come and...

Hello.

No, I'm sorry. I think you
have the wrong number.

Well, merry Christmas
to you too. Good-bye.

Who is it?

Who's there?

- Is that you, Joe?
- ♪ Holy infant ♪

Well, what do you think?

Joseph. Hey, I know
it's a little crooked...

Not to mention being a dwarf...

But it was practically
the last one left in town.

I grabbed it at Manggiotta's
two minutes before they closed.

It's really beautiful.

It really is.

So how about some eggnog?

Come on, Luce. What
are you crying for?

Don't ask such stupid questions.

What's with the extra blankets?

I slipped the
orderly a ten-spot...

so he'd let me spend the night.

What, did you think I was gonna let
you spend Christmas Eve by yourself?

I'll just pull up a
couple of chairs.

The hell you will.

Come here.

Come here and give me a hug.

♪ Christ our savior ♪

♪ Is born ♪

Merry Christmas, Luce.
♪ Christ our savior ♪

♪ Is born ♪♪
Merry Christmas, Joe.