Hill Street Blues (1981–1987): Season 1, Episode 4 - Can World War III Be an Attitude? - full transcript

ITEM 12. ITEM 12!

OFFICER BATES,

WILL YOU PLEASE
DISSEMINATE THOSE COPIES...

OF THE PRESIDENT'S SECURITY
PLAN? HERE YOU GO. OKAY. OKAY!

THANK YOU.

QUIET, PLEASE.

SHUT UP, EVERYONE. SHUT UP!

NOW, I CAN WELL UNDERSTAND YOUR
YOUTHFUL EXCITEMENT DUE TO THE PRESIDENT,

BUT WE STILL HAVE
OUR DAILY HOUSEWORK.

ITEM 12.

THE RAPE/ASSAULT SITUATION UP IN ST.
JAMES PARK IS NOT DISAPPEARING BY ITSELF.



ANOTHER ONE EARLY THIS MORNING,

WHICH BRINGS THE TALLY
UP TO AN EVEN DOZEN!

ANOTHER ONE?

LET'S GET ON TOP OF
THOSE ANIMALS, HUH?

NO PUN INTENDED.

HINGLE, PEREZ,
SNEED, LAMONICA...

AS OF NOW, YOU'RE OFF THE
PROJECTS AND IN THE PARK.

ALL RIGHT, LAST ITEM.

THE LAST ITEM CONCERNS IMAGE. WE DON'T
WANT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES...

BEING ESCORTED
THROUGH THIS PRECINCT...

BY WHAT LOOKS LIKE A
GROUP OF BLUE GORILLAS.

HE'S TALKIN' TO YOU.

SO, LET'S TAKE A LITTLE TIME BETWEEN NOW
AND THEN TO GET OUR UNIFORMS PRESSED,

OUR FACES SHAVED CLEAN...



- THAT MEANS YOU, RENKO...
- I'M GONNA GET A MANICURE.

AND SIDE HAIR
TRIMMED ACCORDINGLY.

SORRY, LUCY. SIDE
HAIR'S GOTTA GO.

SHUT IT OFF, TWINKS!

ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT. LET'S ROLL.

AND, UH, LET'S BE
CAREFUL OUT THERE.

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK,
RENKO, ABOUT RIGHT

HERE? MAYBE JUST RAISE
IT UP ABOUT A 16th OF...

NO, NO, THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM.
THE PROBLEM IS... RIGHT HERE. HEY!

IT'S A GRAY HAIR. YOU'RE
DISINTEGRATIN' IN FRONT OF MY EYEBALLS.

HAVE YOU CHECKED THE
TOP OF YOUR HEAD? WHAT?

YOU'RE BLOWIN' FUR, BROTHER.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE GONNA BE
COMBIN' YOUR HAIR WITH A WASHRAG.

I GOT HAIR. I GOT HAIR.
LOOK, ALL UP HERE.

I GOT HAIR I HAVEN'T
EVEN USED YET. I SEE IT.

BUT IT'S ALL IN THE
WRONG PLACES. MM.

WOMEN LOVE MY HAIR.

WELL, THEY BETTER START LOVIN' IT
BEFORE THEY CALL YOU THE BALD COWBOY.

DISPATCH. WE HAVE A 9-11.

ARMED ROBBERY IN PROGRESS.

SEE SURPLUS STORE, CORNER
PEOPLE'S DRIVE, 124th STREET.

WHAT'S THE POINT? WHAT'S
HE GONNA FACT-FIND, MAN?

HE'S GOT HIS OWN INNER
CITY IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

YEAH, BUT WE GOT A CLASS INNER CITY UP
HERE, AND THE PRESIDENT KNOWS CLASS.

IF IT DOESN'T DO D.C. NO GOOD,
WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO ME?

OH, NOW, YOU SEE, THERE,
THAT'S THE PROBLEM, SLICK.

EVERYONE'S HUNG UP ON WHAT'S IN IT
FOR THEM. THAT'S CASH-REGISTER MENTALITY.

AND EL DIABLO HERE HAS A
CASH-REGISTER MENTALITY.

HERE'S CASH REGISTER NUMBER ONE AND
CASH REGISTER NUMBER TWO. TSK, TSK, TSK.

ON THE HOUSE, GENTLEMEN? NEGATIVE,
BRUCE. THAT'S OKAY. WE'LL PAY OUR WAY.

NAH, DON'T WANNA INSULT THE MAN.

YEAH, YOU AND JOHN D. LaRUE.

LATER, MAN! YOU KNOW SOMETHIN',
BOBBY? I'M A FINE FIGURE OF A MAN.

YEAH. YEAH, I JUST SAID...

LOOK AT SLICK'S
PIMPMOBILE. WHOO, 1969...

YOU GOT TELEVISION, A TELEPHONE.
RAGTOP YELLOW CONVERTIBLE.

IT PROBABLY HAS A WET BAR. IT'S
YOUR BASIC RECREATION VEHICLE.

MM, MM, MM. PROBABLY HAS MORE
EXTRAS THAN MY APARTMENT TOO.

YOU IN THE AUTOMOBILE! I WANT YOU
TO PUT YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD...

AND COME OUT OF THAT
VEHICLE VERY SLOWLY.

THIS IS WEIRD.

COME ON OUTTA THERE
WITH YOUR HANDS UP!

OKAY. OKAY.

HE'S NOT ARMED.

IT'S COOL. HOW YOU GUYS DOIN'?

PUT YOUR HANDS ABOVE YOUR
HEAD. HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD. OKAY.

HEY, DON'T GET EXCITED.
DON'T GET EXCITED.

I'M NOT A FIGHTER. I DON'T
FIGHT. WHAT IS THIS, MAN?

THIS MAN'S A WALKIN' HARDWARE
STORE. NO ROUGH STUFF. A FAIR CATCH.

JUST DON'T THINK YOU
GUYS GOTTA LEAN ON ME...

'CAUSE I CONFESS, YOU DIG? HEY, NO
CONFESSIONS TILL I READ YOU YOUR RIGHTS.

YOU DIG? WHATEVER YOU SAY, MAN.

ALL RIGHT. YOU HAVE THE
RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO
SPEAK WITH AN ATTORNEY.

IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD ONE, ONE
WILL BE APPOINTED FOR YOU. OKAY.

YOU GOT THAT? YEAH, MAN. YOU
THINK I'M STUPID OR SOMETHING?

NO, I THINK YOU'RE THE
NEXT ALBERT EINSTEIN.

HE STARTED OUT
STEALING PIMPMOBILES.

HEY, MAN, IT TAKES
ME NINE SECONDS FLAT.

WHAT'S THE RISK? THIS STUPID...

HEY! DON'T YOU KICK MY
CAR! WHY DON'T YOU KICK HIM?

YOUR IGNITION STINKS, MAN. IT'S
ALL SCREWED TOGETHER BACKWARDS.

YOU'RE DRIVIN' AROUND IN A
DEATH TRAP. WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

WORTHLESS PIECE OF JUNK HEAP!

SHUT UP! WHAT?

MAN, WE GOTTA CALL
IN FOR ANOTHER CAR.

AW, MAN, THIS THING DOESN'T START,
AND YOU ORDERED THIS UNIT THIS MORNING.

IT'S FLOODED, MAN. I CAN
SMELL IT. POP THE HOOD, WILL YA?

POP THE HOOD? OKAY.

POP THE HOOD.

THE LATCH, RENKO.
THE LATCH? WHAT?

THIS IS PATHETIC, MAN. THIS IS
RIDICULOUS. THIS IS TOTALLY NEGLECTED.

IS THIS YOUR UNIT?
NO, NO, IT'S A LOANER.

YEAH. COULD YOU HAND ME THAT
CRESCENT WRENCH OVER THERE, PLEASE?

HEY, UH, YOU MIND?

NO. UM, HERE. THANK YOU.

CAN YOU WORK LIKE THIS? YES.

ALL WE GOTTA DO IS
TAKE THIS BABY OFF HERE.

- FIRST OF ALL, IS THE...
- THE NAME IS FLOYD STAZWITZ,

BUT I KINDA GET OFF
ON BEIN' CALLED MALIBU.

I SPENT SOME TIME OUT THERE
PINSTRIPIN' FOR THIS DUDE.

IT WAS THE BEST DEAL I EVER
HAD IN MY WHOLE LIFE, MAN:

GREAT BEACHES, GREAT
LADIES, GREAT SMOKE.

THAT'S WHY I LIKE THE
NAME MALIBU, YOU KNOW?

'CAUSE WHEN I HEAR IT, I THINK ABOUT
MALIBU, AND IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD ALL OVER.

OKAY, FIRE IT UP.

- HO! SLAP MY...
- HEY! ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.

ALL RIGHT! HOO, HOO, HOO, HOO!

OOH, WHAT DID YOU
DO TO MY BABY, MAN?

- NOTHIN' RUNS LIKE THIS.
- I GOT A FLAIR
FOR FIXIN' THINGS.

LOOK, UH, MALIBU, I'M REAL SORRY
ABOUT THIS, BUT YOU ARE UNDER ARREST,

AND I'M GONNA HAVE
TO TAKE YOU DOWNTOWN.

BUT I'LL DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO
HELP YOU. HEY, IT'S COOL, RENKO.

I MEAN, LIKE, YOU GUYS
ARE COPS, RIGHT? AND

I'M A HEIST MAN. I MEAN,
THAT'S LIFE, RIGHT?

HEY, HEY, WHAT
ABOUT MY IGNITION?

- I AIN'T DRIVING NO DEATH TRAP.
- HEY, TAKES ME
THREE MINUTES, TOPS.

SURE. WHY NOT?
THREE MINUTES, MALIBU.

RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T MIND
HAVIN' HIM EYEBALL MY "Z."

SUCKER'S BEGINNING
TO LOSE ITS PUNCH.

NOW WE'RE TAKIN' A BIG CHANCE
ALONG THIS WHOLE STRETCH, FRANK.

IF THE PRESIDENT SO MUCH AS STEPS
OFF THE EAST SIDE OF THE AVENUE,

HE'LL BE ON GYPSY BOY TURF.
THE PROBLEM'S THE SUN, HENRY.

THE EAST SIDE OF THE AVENUE
WILL BE IN SHADE UNTIL 1:00,

AND THAT PRESS SECRETARY WANTS
THE PRESIDENT FILMED IN SUNLIGHT.

THEY DECLARED INDEPENDENCE
A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO.

WE'VE BEEN TRYIN' TO NEGOTIATE
'EM BACK INTO THE UNITED STATES.

FRANCIS, CAN I HAVE A
WORD WITH YOU? YEAH, PHIL.

SERGEANT ESTERHAUS,
JERRY MULLENEX... HI.

AND DAVE BEAN, SECRET
SERVICE. FRANCIS, PLEASE.

YES, YES. SHE'S BACK. SHE JUST
WALTZED IN AND GAVE ME THIS.

I HATE THAT WOMAN'S GUTS.

SHE JUST TAKES A LITTLE
GETTING USED TO. GIVE

HER A CHANCE, WILL
YOU? SHE'S A GOOD KID.

WE DON'T NEED DECORATORS
TO PAINT PRECINCT HOUSES.

BROWN IS BROWN, GREEN IS GREEN, AND
PAINTERS PAINT. IT'S NOT UP TO US, PHIL.

IT'S A DIVISIONAL DIRECTIVE.
THAT MEANS YOU LIVE WITH IT.

NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS, YOU GET THROUGH
IT WITH HER. LOOK AT THIS BOOK, HUH?

AVOCADO, GUAVA,
PEACH, SOFT LEMON.

SHE'S NOT PAINTIN' A JAIL.
SHE'S MAKIN' FRUIT SALAD.

CAPTAIN, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.
WE'RE READY TO MAKE A DRY RUN.

I'LL RIDE WITH HIM, FRANK.

OH, NOW WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT
ABOUT THAT GYPSY BOY TURF?

- YOU'RE GONNA RESPECT
THE BOUNDARY LINE, AREN'T YOU?
- WE'LL DO THE BEST WE CAN.

WHAT SAY THAT, UM, WE'LL
RECONVENE HERE ABOUT 12:30?

HOLD IT. WE'VE SPENT TWO
YEARS COOLING OFF THAT AVENUE.

I'M A GRADUATE OF
THE PROGRAM, FURILLO.

YOU DON'T GET THIS WITH BLUSHER.
COME ON. HAVE A LITTLE FAITH.

FRANCIS, I'M
CONSIDERING RETIREMENT.

I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT. I'M CONSIDERING IT TOO, PHIL.

WOULD YOU ASK RAY TO
COME IN HERE WHEN HE GETS

A CHANCE? I HAVE TO
HAVE HIM COORDINATE...

THE HELICOPTER LANDING
WITH THE PARK PEOPLE.

OH. UH... HEY, SARGE.

HI. INTERNAL AFFAIRS WANTS
YOUR SHIELD AND GUN TURNED IN...

UNTIL THEY FIGURE OUT WHAT'S
GONNA BE WITH YOU. I KNOW.

SIT DOWN.

I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY, CAPTAIN.

WE'VE BEEN GETTING YOUR RECORD
TOGETHER FOR THE HEARING THIS AFTERNOON.

IF I WERE YOU, I'D PUT ON A SUIT
AND TIE. DON'T WORRY. I PLAN TO.

YOU GONNA BE THERE,
CAPTAIN? SATISFY SOMETHING

FOR ME, LaRUE. JUST
HOW DIRTY ARE YOU?

I WAS GIVING THE MONEY BACK TO
HIM. I TOLD HIM I DIDN'T WANT NO PART.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,
LaRUE. YOU USED TO BE A HOT ITEM:

CITATIONS, PROMOTIONS,
PRIME ARREST RECORD.

BETWEEN THE WOMEN AND
THE BOOZE, TAKE A LOOK

AT YOURSELF NOW. HEY,
I MADE A MISTAKE, OKAY?

ALMOST. HE SUCKERED ME GOOD. HE
TOLD ME HALF THE DIVISION WAS IN ON IT.

AND YOU BELIEVED THAT CRAP?
MACAFEE SAID... MACAFEE SUGGESTED...

THAT IF I CROSSED ANYBODY UP AT DIVISION,
I'D FIND MYSELF FACE DOWN IN THE RESERVOIR.

ALL RIGHT. OKAY. HOW
ARE YOU DOIN', JOHNNY?

OKAY, RAY.

I WOULDN'T GO INTO THAT BOARD OF
RIGHTS SESSION WITHOUT A LAWYER.

I HAD BREAKFAST THIS
MORNING WITH MIKE SULLIVAN.

THE POLICE PROTECTIVE
ASSOCIATION WANTS NO INVOLVEMENT,

AND SINCE YOU'RE IN ARREARS,
THEY FIGURE THEY'VE GOT THAT RIGHT.

YEAH, WELL, THAT'S
JUST DANDY, ISN'T IT?

YOU TELL THEM THEY CAN TAKE THEIR
ASSOCIATION AND STUFF IT, MAN, HARD.

I'M SORRY. YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO FIND PRIVATE COUNSEL.

BUT RAY AND I HAVE MADE OUT A
LIST OF VERY GOOD PEOPLE FOR YOU.

YEAH, WELL, I GUESS I'LL
SEE YOU LATER, CAPTAIN.

JUST A SECOND. YOUR PARTNER,
WASHINGTON... HE'S CLEAN, ISN'T HE?

YEAH. HE'S CLEAN.

AND SO AM I.

FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I
THINK I BELIEVE HIM, FRANK.

YOU WARN THOSE STREET
LORDS TO MUZZLE UP

THEIR MOUTHS UNTIL AFTER
THE PRESIDENT'S TOUR.

THEY'VE GOT AN
AGREEMENT WITH US.

SARGE, I NEED SOME ADVICE. WELL,
SURE, BOBBY. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

YOU KNOW THAT CAR
THIEF WE CALLED IN ON?

HE'S OUTSIDE FIXIN' SOME
PATROL CARS, UNITS 17 AND 26.

COWBOY'S GIVIN' HIM A HAND.
THE GUY'S THAT GOOD A MECHANIC?

OH, SARGE, HE'S AMAZING.

WELL, MAYBE WE OUGHTA HAVE
HIM TAKE A LOOK AT MY BUICK.

I KINDA HATE BOOKIN' THE
GUY, SARGE, YOU KNOW?

BUT WE CAUGHT HIM COLD, AND THE FIRST
THING HE GOES AND DOES IS HE CONFESSES.

THAT IS A PROBLEM, ALL
RIGHT. LET ME THINK ON IT. OKAY.

OH, BOBBY, UH,

HERE ARE THE KEYS TO MY CAR.

HEY, HILL, MY UNIT'S
RUNNIN' A LITTLE ROUGH.

WHAT'S THE CHANCE OF HIM TAKIN' A
LOOK? ONE VEHICLE AT A TIME, SNEED.

GOOD MORNING, SERGEANT.

YOU KNOW, AFTER
OUR INITIAL FIASCO,

I WAS TEMPTED TO CALL
CHIEF DANIELS, BUT I DIDN'T.

I CHOSE NOT TO.

LUCY, SEE WHAT THAT RUCKUS
IN BOOKING IS ALL ABOUT.

I'M ADDRESSING YOU,
SERGEANT. OH. YES, MA'AM?

AND I'M WARNING YOU... I'M HERE
ON BUSINESS, AND I MEAN BUSINESS.

SO LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

I HAVE PROVIDED YOU WITH SEVEN PAGES OF
COLOR SAMPLES. HAVE YOU LOOKED THEM OVER?

I HAVE.

DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE
WITH MY RECOMMENDATIONS?

DOES THAT IMPLY
DISPLEASURE, SERGEANT?

YOUR CAPTAIN IN? UH, NO, SIR.

I THINK HE'S ON SOME BUSINESS
DOWNTOWN. THAT'S JUST DANDY.

BATES...

ME?

I WAS WONDERING IF WE COULD
HAVE A LITTLE VERBAL MANO A MANO?

A TALK. SURE. ABOUT WHAT?

'BOUT YOU,

ME, US.

US?

COULD WE, UH...

WE LIVE IN REVOLUTIONARY
TIMES, BATES, AND

ALL PROPENSITIES ARE
FALLING BY THE WAYSIDE,

IF YOU PERCEIVE MY DRIFT.

IT'S EMPTY.

TRUST ME. ENOUGH IS
ENOUGH. WHAT'S GOING ON?

PRIVACY, BATES. THE
WALLS HAVE EARS.

THEY ALSO HAVE URINALS.

INSIDE, BATES!

YES, SIR.

- LET'S GET DOWN TO IT.
- GET DOWN TO WHAT?

A 12% RAISE IN PAY, SPECIAL
TRAINING, UPGRADE IN RANK...

AND MORE ACTION WITH ME THAN YOU'LL
GET IN A YEAR OUT IN THAT SQUAD ROOM.

JUST EXACTLY WHAT
ARE YOU PROPOSING?

I AM PROPOSING
YOU FILL A SLOT...

IN MY EMERGENCY ACTION TEAM.

NOW WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?

WOW.

I NEVER ENVISIONED
MYSELF AN EATer.

I HAVE.

ALTHOUGH I DON'T ENDORSE
THAT ACRONYM. EXCUSE ME.

YOU'RE AWARE OF THE
DEPARTMENTAL QUOTA

SO MANY OF YOUR
BASIC LATIN TYPES,

YOUR BLACK TYPES,
UH, YOUR... TYPES.

FEMALE TYPES.

I NEED YOU, BATES.

YOU'VE GOT TIGHT-END SIZE WITH
THE HANDS OF A WIDE RECEIVER...

AND THE BODY WEIGHT TO STAND
UP AGAINST THE STOCK OF AN M16.

YOU GOT SMART EYES
AND GOOD ABUTMENTS,

AND, DAMN IT, I THINK YOU'VE
GOT THE GUTS TO MAKE IT.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

SUCK IN THAT GUT, MISTER.

LUCY? L-LUCY, WHAT GIVES?
WHAT'S THE MATTER? HUH?

DO I LOOK LIKE A
TIGHT END TO YOU?

OH, I WOULDN'T PUT
IT IN THOSE TERMS. NO?

I HAVE OBSERVED,
HOWEVER, ON OCCASION, A...

CERTAIN... MUSCULARITY
IN THAT VICINITY.

LUCY...

I MEANT THAT IN THE
MOST COMPLIMENTARY WAY.

I'M SORRY.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. IT...

PLEASE, COULD I JUST BE ALONE?
WHY, SURE. WHATEVER YOU SAY.

LUCY, LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW, BETWEEN THE
TIME THAT MARGARET AND

I SEPARATED AND THE
TIME THAT I MET CINDY,

THERE WAS SIX OR
SEVEN DAYS THERE...

WHEN I SERIOUSLY CONSIDERED
ASKING YOU FOR A DATE.

- NO KIDDING.
- NO KIDDING.

AND IF IT WASN'T FOR THE FACT THAT
WE SHARE A WORK ENVIRONMENT, I, UH...

WELL, LUCY, UM...

I FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE
IN THE EXTREMIS.

AND I DON'T RESPOND HAPHAZARDLY
TO JUST ANYONE OF THE OP...

WELL, I DON'T, UH, HAVE A PROBLEM
IN THAT REGARD, AS IT WERE.

THANK YOU,
SERGEANT. YOU'RE OKAY.

I'M OKAY. YOU'RE
OKAY. WE'RE OKAY.

OKAY? OKAY.

WHO IS IT? JOHN LaRUE.

HI, BABE. OOH, DON'T
MESS MY MAKEUP.

YOU NEVER GIVE ME
THE CHANCE. HE INSIDE?

YEAH. OKAY.

WHAT SAY, LOVER?

GOIN' TO THE HANGIN'
IN YOUR SHORTS?

COULDN'T SAY.

NOT SUPPOSED TO BE
TALKIN' TO YOU, MAN.

I'M A WITNESS.

INTERNAL AFFAIRS TELL
YOU THAT, DID THEY?

I REALLY DID IT TO
MYSELF THIS TIME, DIDN'T I?

THAT MACAFEE SUCKERED ME GOOD.

AH, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE
I DESERVE WHAT'S COMIN'.

YEAH. MAYBE YOU DO.

HEY, I WAS TRYIN' TO
RETURN THE MONEY, MAN.

YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME. I WAS
TRYIN' NOT TO GET YOU INVOLVED.

IF YOU SAY SO, LOVER.

HEY, YOU BELIEVE ME, DON'T YOU?

- YOU BELIEVE ME,
DON'T YOU, JILL?
- PLEASE. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

I'M GOIN' IN THERE ALONE,
MAN, AND I NEED YOU WITH ME.

NOW YOU GOTTA BELIEVE
ME. THAT'S ALL I'M ASKIN' FOR.

I'M NOT ASKIN' YOU TO GO
IN THERE AND LIE FOR ME.

LIKE HELL YOU'RE NOT, MAN. THAT'S
EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE ASKIN' ME TO DO.

SERVICE, LINE SIX.
SERVICE, LINE SIX.

HI. ROB AROUND?

ROB? MM-HMM.

UH, LET ME GO SEE.
WHO SHOULD I SAY IS...

TELL HIM IT'S HIS
BROTHER-IN-LAW. OH.

ROB, YOUR
BROTHER-IN-LAW IS HERE.

YOU'RE KIDDIN'.

HEY-Y-Y. HEY, HEY, HEY. WHAT DO
YOU SAY, GUY? WHAT DO YOU SAY?

A-OKAY. HOW YOU DOIN'? AH, I'M DOIN'
GOOD. DOIN' GOOD. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

QUARTER-PAGE AD
IN THE TRIB, HUH?

HEY, LES, THIS IS PEGGY'S BIG
BROTHER, JOHN... UH, JOHN THE COP.

- OH, NICE TO MEET YOU,
JOHN THE COP.
- SAME HERE.

WHERE CAN WE TALK? OH, COME
ON. COME ON INTO THE OFFICE.

HOLD CALLS A COUPLE
OF MINUTES, HUH? RIGHT.

FUNNY. YOU KNOW, I HEAR THE STORIES
ALL THE TIME ABOUT COPS ON THE TAKE.

HEY, NO, NO, NO. DON'T
MISUNDERSTAND ME, J.D. I-I DIDN'T MEAN...

WHAT I MEAN IS...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

IT'S A BAD SCENE. BAD SCENE.

SO, WHAT'S THE WORST
THAT COULD HAPPEN?

I NEED TWO-GRAND RETAINER,
ROB. TWO GRAND. YOU'LL GET IT BACK.

YOU'RE NOT ANSWERIN' MY QUESTION. WHAT'S
THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? I'M OUT.

AND? IF YOU HIRE A LAWYER, WHAT'S
THE GUARANTEE YOU'RE GONNA BE IN?

COME ON, MAN. NOW DON'T
PLAY THOSE GAMES WITH

ME. I GOT NINE YEARS
INVESTED IN THIS JOB.

YOU WANT MY OPINION, J.D.? YOU'RE THROWIN'
TWO THOU DOWN THE SAME NINE-YEAR HOLE.

LOOK. WHAT ABOUT IT? CAN YOU SEE YOUR
WAY CLEAR OR NOT? PEG WOULD BE SLEEPIN'...

A WHOLE LOT BETTER
IF SHE KNEW YOU WERE

WORKIN' AT SOMETHIN' A
LITTLE BIT MORE NORMAL.

LISTEN. MAYBE IT'S
A BLESSIN', HUH?

COME ON. TELL THE DEPARTMENT
TO CRAM IT. COME TO WORK.

MAKE A LITTLE MORE THAN
YOU SPEND FOR A CHANGE, HUH?

LISTEN, I GOT A LINE ON A LIQUOR STORE.
PUERTO RICO NORTH. CASH BUSINESS, J.D.

WHAT UNCLE SAM DON'T KNOW...
HEY, I DON'T THINK SO, HUH?

YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT
THE LOAN, YOU GIVE ME A CALL.

I GOTTA GO DOWNTOWN TO CHANGE. WHERE
ARE YOU RUNNIN' TO? COME ON. SIT DOWN.

HEY! J.D... HEY, WAIT UP, J.D.!

HEY, WAIT UP!

HEY! I WANT YOU TO
LISTEN TO ME, J.D. LISTEN.

FOR YOUR SISTER'S SAKE I'VE BEEN
BENDIN' OVER SIDEWAYS FOR YOU.

DON'T BE A LOSER
ALL YOUR LIFE, HUH?

REALLY, MAN.

IF NOT FOR YOUR SAKE, THEN DO IT
FOR HERS. PEG'D SLEEP A LOT BETTER.

PEG'D SLEEP A LOT
BETTER IF YOU WEREN'T

GETTIN' IT ON WITH THAT
LITTLE COOKIE IN THERE.

WHAT? YOU'RE OUTTA LINE,
JOHN. YOU ARE WAY OUTTA LINE.

SURE. SURE I AM.
AND YOU'RE FULL OF IT.

MAN'S A GENIUS. THE LIGHT'S
NEVER WORKED, AND IT NEVER WILL.

YEAH? I'LL TAKE THAT
ACTION, LAMONICA.

HE'S A SURGEON.

LET THERE BE LIGHT.

ALL RIGHT. HEY! HEY, $10.

HEY! THE HELL.
YOU DIDN'T SAY 10.

PAY THE MAN, COSMO. YOU KNOW, IT
SEEMS A SHAME TO SEND HIM DOWNTOWN.

WE SURE COULD USE
HIM AROUND HERE.

MAKES MORE SENSE THAN A
DECORATOR. IT'S A STRAIGHT COLLAR, PHIL.

THE MAN'S AN HABITUAL CAR
THIEF. WELL, THAT'S TRUE. BUT STILL...

LOOK, WHEN HE GETS A CHANCE, SEE IF
HE CAN FIX THE JOHN IN THE MEN'S ROOM.

IT'S BEEN RUNNING FOR TWO YEARS.
I'LL GET HIM RIGHT ON IT, FRANCIS.

HEY, FRANK, FRANK, FRANK.
LOOK AT THE MORNING FIGURES.

LOOK AT ARMED ROBBERY. IT HASN'T
BEEN THIS QUIET SINCE THE SUPER BOWL.

YOU CAN THANK THE
PRESIDENT. I INTEND TO.

HOW'S IT GOIN',
RAY? HOW YOU DOIN'?

ALL RIGHT. COME ON IN, NEAL.

UH, MALIBU, UH, I THINK
I'M WEARIN' HIM DOWN.

YEAH, GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT,
SARGE. WHAT ARE MY CHANCES?

WELL, I WON'T LIE
TO YA. IT'S, UH...

HEY, I GOT AN IDEA, OKAY? NOW, WHAT
ABOUT LETTIN' ME SERVE MY TIME UP HERE...

SORTA LIKE A... LIKE
A TRUSTEE, RIGHT?

I MEAN, UH, THIS PLACE
NEEDS A LOTTA WORK.

IF I COULD, I WOULD, MALIBU, BUT IT'S
NOT UP TO ME. IT'S UP TO THE COURTS.

HEY, TELL ME THE TRUTH. YOU
THINK I OUGHTA GET RID OF MY BUICK?

MY GIRLFRIEND THINKS I OUGHTA
GET INTO SOMETHIN' FLASHIER.

SEE WE GOT THE SENIOR PROM
COMIN' UP. IT'S A HOMECOMING.

HMM. FLASH IS FLASH, SARGE,

BUT, FROM YOUR MECHANICAL
STANDPOINT, SHE'S A SOLID VEHICLE.

YOU SENSED SOMETHING WRONG, YET
YOU DIDN'T ASK HIM ABOUT IT. HOW COME?

WELL, HE'S BEEN UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE
LATELY, CAPTAIN. YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES.

NO, I DON'T KNOW HOW IT
GOES. WHAT KIND OF PRESSURE?

WOMEN, CLOTHES...

- YOU KNOW J.D., CAPTAIN.
- YEAH, WELL,
I THOUGHT I DID ANYWAY.

YEAH, WELL, UH,

YOU KNOW, I HAD MY
DOUBTS TOO, BUT...

WHAT IT IS... IF HE MEANT TO KEEP THAT
MONEY, HE WOULD'VE OFFERED ME A SPLIT.

- WHY? BECAUSE IT'S HAPPENED BEFORE?
- NAH. NO WAY.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, CAPTAIN...
NO. YOU WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU OFFER THAT LITTLE PIECE
OF LOGIC TO INTERNAL AFFAIRS,

AND THEY'RE GONNA
ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS.

LOOK, I KNOW YOU
WANNA HELP, NEAL,

BUT I DON'T WANT YOU
DIRTIED IN THE PROCESS.

WHAT? THAT PRESIDENT'S MAN,
PARKER? HE JUST CALLED IN.

YOU WERE RIGHT, FRANCIS.
THEY CANCELED IT. JUST LIKE THAT.

SOME KIND OF CRISIS
IN THE PERSIAN GULF.

CRISIS, ALL RIGHT. RIGHT
HERE. GET HIM FOR ME, RAY.

- ALL RIGHT.
- WHERE'S GOLDBLUME?

WITH THE SECRET SERVICE GUY. NO,
HE'S BACK. I JUST SAW HIM GO IN THE JOHN.

COME ON, NEAL.

- ONE...
- PARKER CALLED. IT'S OFF.

WE GOTTA RECONTACT EVERYONE
AND TELL 'EM WE'VE BEEN SUCKERED.

THAT'S TWO YEARS' CREDIBILITY,
DAMN IT! I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT.

I CAN'T GET HIM. HE'S NOT TAKIN'
ANY CALLS. ESPECIALLY NOT OURS.

KEEP TRYING. IF YOU GET HIM, PATCH
HIM THROUGH TO INTERNAL AFFAIRS.

GIVEN YOUR PENCHANT
FOR LAVATORIES HERE,

GENTLEMEN, THERE ARE 16 SETS
OF THEM UP IN ST. JAMES PARK...

ALONG WITH 12
UNSOLVED RAPE/ASSAULTS.

COME ON, NEAL. CAPTAIN?

THIS JOHN IS PATHETIC.

I MEAN, THIS STUFF
MUST BE 50 YEARS OLD.

FIXABLE? FOR A
NORMAL PERSON, NO.

BUT, UH, WITH SOME
NEW PARTS, UH...

SERGEANT'LL SEND SOMEONE.

TELL 'EM WHAT YOU
WANT. 10-4, CAPTAIN.

RIGHT.

OKAY.

SIT DOWN... THERE.

CHECK-IN, 117.

WHO'S THIS? ALICE?

I HAD THE, UH, COKE BUYER UNDER
SURVEILLANCE FOR ABOUT THREE WEEKS.

AT THE SAME TIME, IRONICALLY, I
STARTED GETTING STATIC OFF THE STREET...

ABOUT THIS HILL STREET NARC.

DETECTIVE JOHN LaRUE?
YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. LaRUE.

THE SNITCH TOLD ME THAT HE'S SHAKING
DOWN DEALERS ALL OVER THE PRECINCT.

WELL, THEN WHY DIDN'T
YOU REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY?

ANYTHING THAT DIRTY, I THOUGHT I'D BETTER
LOOK INTO, TO SEE WHAT I WAS UP AGAINST.

AND, BAM, LaRUE AND HIS PARTNER
JUMP MY BUST JUST AS IT'S COMIN' DOWN.

HE PUT A GUN TO MY FACE,
SO I SURRENDERED THE MONEY.

WHERE WAS DETECTIVE WASHINGTON?

- HE STAYED
WITH THE SUSPECT, SIR.
- LEAVING YOU AND LaRUE ALONE.

TO THE BES... I... TO THE BEST OF
MY KNOWL... I MEAN, I DIDN'T SEE HIM.

- THEN LaRUE TOLD YOU TO PRETEND
YOU ESCAPED. IS THAT RIGHT?
- THAT'S RIGHT.

WAS THERE ANY INDICATION OF ANY
COLLUSION BETWEEN WASHINGTON AND LaRUE?

MM, NO. I DON'T THINK SO.

BUT, UH,

I WOULDN'T OVERLOOK
ANY POSSIBILITY.

CLARIFY SOMETHING
FOR ME, MACAFEE.

WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE LaRUE, AFTER HE
TOOK THE MONEY, LET YOU WALK AWAY?

HE PUT A BIT OF A
SCARE INTO ME, FRANK.

HE SAID THAT THERE
WASN'T A PLAINCLOTHES COP

ON THE HILL THAT WASN'T
SOMEHOW INVOLVED.

- THOSE WERE HIS WORDS.
- AND YOU BELIEVED HIM?

IT MUST HAVE BEEN PRETTY CONVINCING
OR I WOULD BE ONE DEAD MICK.

THIS, UM, SOURCE OF YOURS,

WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT
LaRUE... CAN HE BE PRODUCED?

HE'S DEAD.

WORD ON THE STREET IS THAT
LaRUE GOT WIND OF IT AND... DID 'IM.

- THIS IS HEARSAY.
- NO, NO, NO. IT'S WITHIN
THE GUIDELINES, FRANK.

NOW HE'S GOIN' INTO A BOARD
OF RIGHTS, NOT A COURTROOM.

NOT YET ANYWAY.

YOUR TURN, NEAL.

MACAFEE'S LYING.
YOU BELIEVE ME NOW.

YES, I BELIEVE YOU.

BUT HE'S GOOD. THEY'RE
EATING IT UP IN THERE.

LISTEN TO ME. NO MATTER WHAT THEY
SAY, WHATEVER THEY THREATEN YOU WITH...

EVEN IF THEY REMAND YOU
TO THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY...

I WANT YOU TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH
SHUT TILL I FIND YOU A LAWYER.

HELLO. CAPTAIN FURILLO'S OFFICE.

- YEAH, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- THEY'RE GOIN' TO WAR, FRANCIS.

THE STREET LORDS HAVE HIT THE BLOOD.
THREE D.O.A. WE GOT UNITS IN PURSUIT.

THEY'RE MAD AT US, FRANCIS.
THEY THINK WE SOLD 'EM OUT.

TEARIN' UP TREATIES
LEFT AND RIGHT.

HARDWARE. EIGHT PIECES.

ALL RIGHT. I GOT ONE
KID D.O.A. I GOT ONE...

NO, MAN. YOU'RE ALL GONNA
BLEED! I GOT A HUNDRED...

YOU HEAR ME? YOU
HEAR ME, SUCKER?

I OUGHTA DICE YOU UP, MAN!

GET HIM IN THERE. MOVE OUT THE
WAY. MOVE OUT THE WAY. LET HIM DOWN.

OH, YEAH?

YEAH, YOU'RE ALL GONNA GET MACHINE
GUNNED THROUGH THE TEETH, YOU HEAR ME?

YOU'D DIG MALIBU, MAN.

THEY GOT GIRL DOGS ALL
UP AND DOWN THE BEACHES:

FRENCH POODLES, IRISH SETTERS, GREAT
DANES... WHATEVER YOU'RE INTO, MAN.

IT'S ALL THERE.

WHAT HAVE WE HERE, SHEP? HUH?

LOOK AT THIS.

ISN'T THIS NICE, HUH?

LET'S SEE IF OLD MALIBU CAN
FIT THROUGH THIS LITTLE PLACE.

OOH, YES.

HEY, SHEP, BE COOL, OKAY,

AND, UH, I'LL CATCH UP
WITH YOU ON THE OUTSIDE.

THANKS FOR THE
DETOUR, COUNSELOR.

WELL, WHEN FRANK FURILLO
SAYS "URGENT," IT'S GOTTA BE.

WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY?
YOU, UH, AREN'T SUGGESTING...

WE RECALL OUR HIGH SCHOOL
PHYSICS IN THE BACKSEAT OF THIS THING?

THOUGHT DID CROSS MY MIND.

OH. WELL, I WILL, IF YOU WILL.

YOU SURE ARE IN A
GOOD MOOD TODAY.

MM, YOU DON'T KNOW
THE HALF OF IT, PAL.

HOW ABOUT AN HOUR AT THE
REGENCY COURT? JOYCE'S TREAT.

DON'T I WISH.

GUESS WE SCRATCH THAT PROJECT. I SUPPOSE
THE PRECINCT'S IN FLAMES FOR A CHANGE.

ONE OF MY GUYS IS ON THE RACK.

WHICH ONE? JOHN LaRUE.

LaRUE, HUH?

WHY DOES UNWANTED ENTRY COME
TO MIND? WILL YOU JUST TALK TO HIM?

INTERNAL AFFAIRS IS RECOMMENDING

PROSECUTION. THAT'S
A LITTLE STIFF, ISN'T IT?

I THOUGHT YOU PEOPLE WASHED YOUR
OWN DIRTY LINEN. WILL YOU TALK TO HIM?

I'M A PUBLIC DEFENDER. I
REPRESENT THE INDIGENT.

JOHN LaRUE IS NOT... IS INDIGENT.
HE'S IN HOCK UP TO HIS EYES.

AND HE'S INNOCENT.
OF THIS, MAYBE.

BUT INNOCENT? LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT HIM CRAWLING UP MY LEG.

YOU DID. JUST HEAR HIM
OUT. LET ME SET IT UP.

WE MADE A DEAL WHEN WE STARTED
SEEING EACH OTHER: NO BUSINESS FAVORS.

YOUR IDEA, AS I RECALL.

I'M SORRY. WELL,

AT LEAST THINK
ABOUT IT, WILL YOU?

I'LL CALL YOU TONIGHT.

MM. IT'S, UH,

SYMPHONY NIGHT.

I'LL CALL YOU AFTER
THE SYMPHONY TONIGHT.

LATE SUPPER. WHO WITH?

THIS, UH, COP I KNOW.

WAR'S BREAKING OUT ALL OVER THE PRECINCT,
FRANK, AND THAT'S NOT THE ALL OF IT.

WE THINK THE BLOOD HIT THAT DELGADO'S
SPORTING GOODS STORE OVER ON 135th STREET.

THEY'RE GONNA
RETALIATE LIKE HELL.

AND I AM A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT
HAVING RENE PAGANO IN HERE.

- THEY'RE CRAZED
TO GET EVEN, FRANK.
- HOW MANY GUNS THEY GET?

A GOOD... 250 AND A
SHOWCASE FULL OF AMMO.

OKAY. ONE MORE STOP,
AND I'LL BE BACK UP THERE.

WHAT'S THE WORD OFF THE STREET?
WHO'S WEARING WAR COLORS?

ACTUALLY, THAT'S WHAT'S SO WEIRD,
FRANK. I MEAN, THERE'S NO WORD, NO COLORS.

IT JUST HAPPENED. IT'S LIKE
VIETNAM. IS THAT FRANK ON THE LINE?

UH, FRANK, IT'S HUNTER.

BE SOOTHING, HENRY. DON'T
RAISE HIS BLOOD PRESSURE.

HELLO, HOWARD. HELLO, HENRY.

FRANK, THIS IS HUNTER. I AM IN YOUR
SQUAD ROOM, AND I MUST SAY I AM APPALLED.

WHAT'S APPALLING YOU, HOWARD?

RAY CALLETANO TELLS
ME THAT HE RECEIVED A

TELEPHONE CALL FROM THE
STREET LORDS YOUTH GANG.

THEY WANNA KNOW WHAT THE BAIL IS ON
THEIR HEAD HONCHO, UH, RENE PAGANO.

WHEN RAY EXPLAINED THE FACTS OF
LIFE, THERE WERE SERIOUS THREATS,

LIKE, IF WE TRY TO TAKE
HIM DOWNTOWN, THEY'RE

GONNA HIT US WITH A
THOUSAND CRACK TROOPS.

GOTTA GIVE 'EM CREDIT FOR IMAGINATION,
HOWARD. A THOUSAND TROOPS?

FRANK, I WOULDN'T
MINIMIZE THE DANGER.

THEY MENTIONED CUBAN
MERCENARIES FROM LESKER AVENUE.

SOUNDS LIKE MICKEY ROJAS. I KNOW
THE KID, HOWARD. HE'S PLAYING GAMES.

WELL, IF YOU KNOW
HIM, FRANK, FOR...

JUDAS PRIEST, WE HAVE TAKEN ENOUGH
VERBAL ABUSE FROM THESE LITTLE COCKROACHES.

I SAY IT IS HIGH TIME
THAT YOU STOP LETTING

THEM MAKE A FOOL OF YOU
AND PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN.

SURE. TEACH 'EM A LESSON.
PROTECTIVE REACTION

STRIKE. WHY DON'T YOU
HIT 'EM WITH NAPALM?

STOW IT, MISTER. YOU NEVER
UNDERSTOOD NAPALM AND YOU NEVER WILL.

THAT'S WHERE YOU ARE WRONG,
HUNTER. I DO UNDERSTAND NAPALM.

YOU CAN'T USE NAPALM... NAPALM...
NAPALM IS AN INTIMIDATING...

WEAPON... WHAT ARE THE
THREE PRINCIPLES OF NAPALM?

HENRY, WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE? HENRY!
"BURN, BABY, BURN." THAT'S YOUR ANSWER.

WHAT'S THE FINAL WORD? IT'S GOIN'
TO THE D.A. TO CONSIDER PROSECUTION.

DON'T PANIC. WE EXPECTED THAT. I'M SETTING
A MEETING UP WITH A LAWYER FOR TONIGHT.

WHO? ONE OF THE BEST.

GO FIND A GYM AND WORK OUT...

THEN GO HOME AND GO TO SLEEP.

THAT'S AN ORDER. I WANT YOU
WITH ME, NEAL. LET'S GO. OKAY, CAP.

YOU BE COOL, BABE. AND
DO WHAT THE MAN SAYS.

YO, PIG FACE, GONNA TORCH
THIS PIG HOUSE TONIGHT.

GONNA OPEN YOUR UGLY
MOUTH AND POUR GASOLINE

DOWN YOUR THROAT
AND LIGHT YOUR TONGUE!

♪ MR. SANDMAN SEND ME A DREAM ♪

♪♪

SIGN IT.

WHO IS THIS TALKING?
IDENTIFY YOURSELF, MAN.

MORE THREATS? I'M
WARNING YOU! CRAZINESS.

BELKER JUST CHECKED IN. SAYS IT'S A
NO-MAN'S-LAND OUT THERE. EMPTY STREETS.

NO WORD ABOUT
THOSE 250 GUNS? ZILCH.

I GOT THIS UNEASY
FEELING IN MY GALL BLADDER.

WHAT HAPPENED? - HEY!

CORRECT MY THINKING.

HOW HARD IS IT FOR ONE OF THOSE
MONKEYS TO CLIMB A POLE AND CUT THE POWER?

CUT THE POWER? WHAT FOR? WELL,
THEY'VE BEEN THREATENING ALL AFTERNOON.

- WE MUST BE HAVING SOME KIND
OF POWER OUTAGE, SERGEANT.
- SHUT UP.

ALL RIGHT. YOU GONNA
DIE. EVERY ONE OF YOU.

I GOT YOU! GET OFF ME, SUCKER!

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT
IT'S LIKE TO BE DEAD?

'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA DIE! I'M
GONNA KILL EVERY ONE OF YOU!

I'M GONNA LIGHT IT! GET
YOUR HANDS OFF ME, SUCKER!

PHONE IS DEAD. SOMETHIN'S GOIN'
ON. HEY, SNEED, TRY THE PHONES.

I THINK THEY'RE ALL DEAD.

LINE'S DEAD. NO DIAL TONE.

THIS SUCKER'S DEAD TOO.
THE PHONES ARE DEAD.

LISTEN UP, EVERYONE.
THE PHONES ARE DEAD.

OKAY. THANK YOU, ALF. LISTEN.
BEFORE ANYONE GOES OFF THE DEEP END,

SUPPOSE WE CHECK
OUT THE TERMINAL BOX.

RAY, WHERE'S THE
TERMINAL? GOOD QUESTION.

OKAY. CALL A REPAIRMAN. WITH
WHAT? THE PHONES ARE DEAD.

WE'RE UNDER SIEGE. RAY,
YOU'RE RANKING OFFICER HERE.

I WANT YOUR ATTENTION. THIS
COULD BE AN EMERGENCY SITUATION.

SO LET'S SECURE THOSE
WINDOWS AND DOORS.

COSMO, MOVE THOSE
DESKS, AND LET'S BARRICADE

THE CORRIDOR AND PUT
SOME COVER OVER HERE.

I NEED EIGHT VOLUNTEERS FOR A
PERIMETER CHECK. ONLY SINGLE MEN UNDER 35.

- THAT LEAVES YOU OUT, SARGE.
- YOU'RE NOT SENDING
PEOPLE OUTSIDE, RAY?

THAT'S HOW WE DID IT
IN THE MARINE CORPS.

THEY COULD GET KILLED.
THIS IS NOT THE MARINES.

LET'S RADIO DIVISION FROM ONE
OF THE UNITS IN THE PARKING LOT.

WHAT ABOUT OUR BACKUP SYSTEM? ARE YOU
CRAZY? THAT THING HASN'T WORKED IN YEARS.

YOU CAN'T SEND PEOPLE OUTSIDE.

I'LL GO. HENRY,
YOU ARE IN CHARGE.

OH, WONDERFUL. WHAT'S HE DOING?
RAY? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

COVER HIM, YOU GUYS.
HE'S GOIN' OUTSIDE.

- ALL RIGHT.
- TAKE IT EASY.

COVER HIM. COVER HIM. ALL RIGHT.

KEEP DOWN OVER THERE.

I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT IF ANYTHING HAPPENS,

IT'S BEEN GREAT
SERVIN' WITH YOU, LUCY.

THANKS, WILLY. FEEL
THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU.

FEEL A LOT BETTER IF
YOU TOOK YOUR HAND...

OUT FROM UNDER MY SKIRT.
EVERYBODY, I'M GONNA GET YOU...

AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU...

AND YOU AND YOUR MAMA!

SHUT UP, YOU GUYS.

CUT THAT MOUTH OVER THERE!

SERGEANT... PAINT IT ANY
WAY YOU WANT, MRS. GARDNER.

I DON'T CARE
ANYMORE. I'M RETIRING.

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF PRECINCT
HOUSES COMING UNDER ATTACK BEFORE.

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH
A THING. HOW'S HE DOING?

HE'S MADE IT TO THE PARKING
LOT. NEITHER HAVE I, MRS. GARDNER.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR SOCIETY SO
IT... ANYBODY SAY HOW MANY THERE WERE?

ISN'T THERE SOMEBODY
ELSE WE COULD CALL?

HE'S IN THE CAR. HE'S MAKING
RADIO CONTACT WITH DIVISION.

SERGEANT, JUST HOLD
ME. OH, PLEASE, HOLD ME.

OH. OH.

- SHH. STAY DOWN.
- WHAT'S HAPPENIN'?

THERE'S CARS OUTSIDE, HENRY!

EXCUSE ME, MRS. GARDNER.

THEY'RE COMIN' THROUGH
THE ROOF. COVER THAT CEILING.

- SOMEBODY'S UP THERE.
- HEY, THERE'S SOMEONE OUT FRONT, SARGE!

COVER THE DOOR.
IT'S LOCKED, ISN'T IT?

THEY'RE COMIN' IN!

YOU MEAN, NO ONE
LOCKED THE DOOR?

IT'S THE CAPTAIN.
CAPTAIN! IT'S OKAY.

GET HIM IN HERE. WHEW!

FRANCIS? YOU SHOULDN'T BE
DRIVING AROUND OUT THERE.

HOW ELSE WAS I
SUPPOSED TO GET HERE?

COMIN' THROUGH UP HERE.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

WHAT'S HE DOING IN THE CEILING?

DON'T LET NO ONE START
GETTIN' PHYSICAL, OKAY, MAN?

'CAUSE I CONFESS. I WAS
MAKIN' A BREAKOUT, RIGHT,

WHEN I SEE THAT YOUR MAIN
JUNCTION IS WIRED ALL WRONG, MAN!

SO I HAD TO FIX IT, RIGHT?

AND THEN YOUR PHONES, MAN! YOUR PHONES...
THEY HAD 'EM HELD TOGETHER WITH SPIT.

AND, UH... AND THAT'S WHEN I GOT
MY FOOT STUCK IN THE RAFTERS.

GET THIS MESS CLEANED UP.
USE THE PHONE IN MY OFFICE.

UH, THEY'RE OUT, FRANK.
THEY GOTTA BE RECONNECTED.

I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY.

IT'LL TAKE ME 12 SECONDS
TO FIX THE WHOLE

THING. REALLY. I WAS
ALMOST FINISHED ANYWAYS.

WELL, AS SOON AS
THEY'RE CONNECTED,

I THINK WE'VE FIGURED OUT
A PRESIDENTIAL SOLUTION.

CALL A SUMMIT MEETING
FOR 8:00. RIGHT, FRANK.

FRANK... YES, RAY.

YOU HAD TO BE HERE.

HOW 'BOUT A LIFT?

WOW.

YOU SAVED MY LIFE.

AH! GOT A FRIEND, BABE.
GOT A FRIEND, BABE.

YOU KNOW, WHAT I GOTTA DO...
IS TAKE THIS, PUT IT INTO HERE.

JUST PUT THIS...

AH! THE MAN IS ANOTHER
THOMAS EDISON. I KNOW, MAN.

I'M INCREDIBLE. TELL ME THAT
AFTER YOU FIX THE CEILING.

10-4, CAPTAIN.

YES? THEY'RE ALL HERE. IT'LL JUST TAKE US A
MOMENT TO CONNECT THE LOUDSPEAKER SYSTEM.

THANK YOU, SIR.

I PUT THE BIG IXNAY ON
THAT ONE, GOOD BUDDY.

I TOLD HER, "DON'T CRY
DOWN MY BACK, HONEY.

YOU MIGHT RUST MY SPURS."

SORRY, MAN. UH, SOMETIMES
THIS UNIT PICKS UP C.B.

OKAY.

GENTLEMEN, THE
NEXT VOICE YOU HEAR...

WILL BE THE PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES.

GO AHEAD, MR. PRESIDENT.

IT'S A WORKING
DINNER, PUSSY WILLOW,

WITH A POLICE DECORATOR.

UH...

COME ON, CINDY. WE'LL GO
FORMAL SHOPPING TOMORROW NIGHT.

MALIBU... I THINK I LOVE HIM.

WHAT FINALLY HAPPENED? WELL, IN ALL
THE CONFUSION, WE LOST THE BOOKING SLIP.

AND YOU CAN'T KEEP HIM FOREVER.
YOU GOTTA BOOK HIM OR LET HIM GO, SO...

SO YOU LET HIM GO. HECK, NO.

WE REBOOKED HIM ON ADDITIONAL CHARGES OF
ATTEMPTED ESCAPE AND MALICIOUS VANDALISM.

AH, YOU DIDN'T.

IT'S A DOG-EAT-DOG WORLD,
COUNSELOR, AND NO DOG'S GONNA EAT ME.

HE PROBABLY SAVED YOU OVER A
THOUSAND DOLLARS IN MECHANICAL REPAIRS.

TYPICAL COP GRATITUDE,
FURILLO. YOU'RE ALL HEART.

I'LL MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU, COUNSELOR...
WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL A PLEA BARGAIN.

YOU RECONSIDER
TAKING LaRUE'S CASE,

AND I'LL CONSIDER
DROPPING MALIBU'S.

UH-HUH. - WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

YOU ARE, PIZZA MAN. YOU
DID LET HIM GO, DIDN'T YOU?

YEAH. BUT HE PROMISED TO COME
BACK TOMORROW AND REPAIR THE CEILING.

YOU'RE A SOFTY AFTER ALL.

SOMETIMES.

WHAT ABOUT LaRUE?

AREN'T YOU AFRAID I MIGHT
BE SEDUCED BY HIS CHARMS?

I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES. MM.

OOP! HERE. HERE, LET ME... AW.

BE... CAREFUL.

WELL, IF YOU CAN'T TRUST AN ITALIAN
WITH A RAZOR, YOU CAN YOU TRUST?

OH! N-N-N-NOW...
NOW, JUST DON'T MOVE.

JUST HOLD VERY STILL.