Hill Street Blues (1981–1987): Season 1, Episode 3 - Politics as Usual - full transcript

ELEVEN.

ITEM 11...

REGARDS SECURITY FOR
THE PRESIDENT'S VISIT.

NOW, WE'RE SHORTHANDED AS
IT IS, SO UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE,

ALL DAYS OFF AND VACATIONS
ARE HEREBY CANCELED.

BEFORE I GET TO THE LAST ITEM,

I'D LIKE TO INTERJECT A
PERSONAL OBSERVATION.

IT SEEMS THAT WE'VE REACHED
A NEW LOW, GRAFFITI-WISE,

IN BOTH THE MEN'S AND
WOMEN'S LAVATORIES.

NOW, AS AN ORGANIZATION
OF MATURE MEN AND WOMEN,

I SUGGEST THAT WE
CLEAN UP OUR ACT,



OUR VOCABULARY AND, AT
THE VERY LEAST, OUR SPELLING.

TO THE ANONYMOUS BATHROOM
POET, "BREAST" IS GENERALLY SPELLED...

B-R-E- A...

S-T.

ALL RIGHT, LAST ITEM.

BELKER'S COLLAR THE OTHER DAY
TURNED OUT NOT TO BE THE RAPIST.

OH, NO. IN SPITE OF INCREASED
PATROLS IN THE AREA,

WE HAD THREE MORE DAYLIGHT
ATTACKS OVER THE LAST DAY AND A HALF.

LET'S ADD WAVERLY AND CLARK,
HILL AND RENKO TO THE PARK.

I WANT THIS ANIMAL
YESTERDAY. GOOD LUCK.

LET'S ROLL. BOY.

LET'S GO. LET'S BE
CAREFUL OUT THERE.

LET'S GO.

YEAH. I GOT
MENTHOLS. LET'S HIT IT.



HEY, SERGEANT. SERGEANT.

I KNOW. I KNOW. YOU WANT TO
KNOW ABOUT A NEW PARTNER,

AND YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT
YOUR TRANSFER TO PLAINCLOTHES.

CATCH ME LATER, HUH? SERGEANT,
YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH THIS.

IT'S NOT GOIN' AWAY. AND
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.

- I - TALK TO THE CAPTAIN TODAY.

IN THE MEANTIME, I EXPECT YOU BOTH TO
GO RIGHT ON SERVING YOUR FELLOW MAN.

OKAY, COWBOY, YOU HEARD THE MAN.

STOP THAT COWBOY STUFF.
I WAS BORN IN NEW JERSEY.

I NEVER BEEN WEST
OF CHICAGO IN MY LIFE.

DISPATCH. WE HAVE A 9-11.

ARMED ROBBERY IN PROGRESS.

SEE SURPLUS STORE, CORNER
PEOPLE'S DRIVE, 124th STREET.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE, FRANK.

COMMENT ÇA VA?

HELLO, HOWARD.

I THOUGHT I SMELLED THAT
TOBACCO BLEND OF YOURS.

WHAT IS THAT STUFF?

IT'S CALLED DUTCHMAN'S GOLD. MY
TOBACCONIST IMPORTS IT FROM INDONESIA.

GREAT AROMA, HOWARD. YOU MIGHT
START THINKING ABOUT INDONESIA, FRANK.

SOME LITTLE DUGOUT
UP IN THE BAMBOO.

IF I WERE YOU, I'D CONSIDER IT.

WHY IS THAT, HOWARD?

OH, JUDAS PRIEST. FRANK, YOU'VE GOT THE
COMMANDER IN CHIEF ON THE FRONT BURNER,

AND YOU'RE STANDING AROUND HERE WITH
YOUR PANTS DOWN AROUND YOUR SUPPORT HOSE.

OH. SO, THE WORD'S
OUT, IS IT? THE WORD?

HELL, I KNOW IT. YOU KNOW IT.

EVERY GEEK WITH A
WILD HAIR KNOWS IT.

DOGGONE, I DON'T SUPPORT
THE MAN'S GUTLESS POLITICS,

BUT HE IS THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE.

SECURITY PLANS ARE ALREADY
IN THE WORKS, HOWARD.

I'M SURE YOU'LL BE
NOTIFIED IN DUE COURSE. AH.

YOU'RE BLOWING BROWN
SMOKE AT ME, FRANK.

WHAT IS THE OPERATIONAL TABLEAU?

IT'S STILL TENTATIVE, HOWARD,

BUT THEY'LL MOST LIKELY LAND THE
CHOPPER IN THE SOUTH END OF ST. JAMES PARK.

FROM THERE, THEY'LL PROCEED
ON FOOT INTO THE AVENUES.

YOU KNOW, IT'S A WONDER
THEY CAN BUCKLE THEIR

CHIN STRAPS, MUCH
LESS RUN A GOVERNMENT.

FRANK, A STEYR S.S.G. HITS FROM A
THOUSAND YARDS, AND THEY'RE COMMON AS DIRT.

I'M AWARE OF THAT, HOWARD.
FRANK, LOOK AROUND HERE.

YOU GOT YOUR TENEMENTS,
BOTH OCCUPIED AND EMPTY.

YOU GOT YOUR COMMERCIALS, BOTH OCCUPIED
AND EMPTY. BOTH OCCUPIED AND EMPTY.

YES, I KNOW. ALL WELL
WITHIN THAT RANGE.

JUDAS PRIEST! YOU'RE
INVITING ANY MISFIT...

WITH A SNIPER'S MENTALITY TO TAKE
A WHACK AT THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE.

HOWARD, COULD YOU...
HALF THE PEOPLE IN

THIS PRECINCT AREN'T
EVEN AMERICAN CITIZENS.

THEY'RE ILLEGAL, FOREIGN
PERVERTS AND MALCONTENTS.

THEY DON'T EVEN
USE OUR LANGUAGE.

HOWARD, COULD YOU SUM THIS
UP FOR ME? I'M RUNNING LATE.

GIVE THE ORDER, FRANK, AND I'LL
HAVE THE ENTIRE PRECINCT EVACUATED...

IN 18 HOURS.

YOU WON'T FIND A COCKROACH
BETWEEN HERE AND THE RESERVOIR.

HOWARD, THE WHOLE IDEA IS FOR
THE PRESIDENT TO MEET THE PUBLIC,

REVIEW CONDITIONS
UP HERE HIMSELF,

DEMONSTRATE HIS CONCERN
FOR THE DISADVANTAGED.

HE CAN'T DO THAT, HOWARD, IF
YOU EVACUATE THE POPULATION.

FOLLY, FRANK. PURE
AND SENSELESS FOLLY.

NO, HOWARD, POLITICS.

WHO KNOWS? MAYBE SOME GOOD WILL
COME OF IT. I DO APPRECIATE YOUR INPUT.

HILL STREET. SERGEANT BECKER.

HEY, WE GOT A BLAZE
GOIN' ON IN THE BATHROOM!

MY SISTER AND HER HUSBAND LIVE IN A
BROWNSTONE HE PAID 200,000 BUCKS FOR.

YOU OUGHTA SEE IT. HE'S GOT
HIS TASTE IN HIS KIDNEYS, MAN.

BUT WHEN I ASK HIM TO LEND
ME A LOUSY FIVE GRAND AT 12%,

THE NERD LOOKS ME
RIGHT IN THE EYE AND SAYS,

"HEH-HEH-HEH. JOHN, YOU'RE FAMILY.
BUT WHAT CAN I DO? I'M CASH POOR."

YEAH, MAN. I CAN
IDENTIFY WITH THAT.

THE DIFFERENCE IS, MY
BROTHER-IN-LAW'S GOT A HALF A MILLION...

IN ROLLING STOCK SITTING IN
THE MIDDLE OF HIS PARKING LOT...

THAT, AND A SEVEN-DIGIT
CREDIT LINE AT THE BANK.

ALL I KNOW, MAN, IS THAT
YOU GOTTA CUT IT LOOSE,

OR YOU'LL NEVER
GET PEACEFUL LIKE ME.

TAKE MY COUSIN SPENCER...
DAMN IT, MAN, LOOK AT US.

YOU'RE AN EX-JOCK
WITH ONE GOOD KNEE.

I'M A 34-YEAR-OLD HOT DOG
LIVIN' IN A TWO-ROOM EFFICIENCY.

I GOT A CLOSET FULL OF CLOTHES,
MY CAR'S FINANCED UP THE WAZOO,

AND I GOT A .38
STRAPPED TO MY ANKLE.

WHERE'S IT AT? GEE, MAN.

YOU KNOW, I WAS IN A GOOD
MOOD JUST TWO MINUTES AGO?

THERE HE GOES. YEAH.

YOU'RE ON TIME FOR
ONCE. I'M IMPRESSED.

YEAH. COME ON, LET'S
GET IT DONE, HUH?

SEEN ENOUGH? YEAH, LET'S DO IT.

FREEZE! POLICE!

GET UP AGAINST THAT
CAR! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!

GET BACK. YEAH, GO
AHEAD. GO AHEAD. I GOT IT.

OKAY. TURN AROUND. TURN
AROUND, CHUMP! SPREAD 'EM.

EASY. EASY, NOTHING.

FREEZE!

HEY, COME ON. COME ON!

ALL RIGHT, TAKE IT EASY.
TAKE IT EASY. I'M UNDERCOVER.

SURE YOU ARE. ALL OF US ARE.

CHECK MY BACK POCKET. IT'S A REGULAR
UNDERCOVER CONVENTION DOWN HERE.

MACAFEE. DETECTIVE SERGEANT.

THAT'S RIGHT.

OUT OF DIVISION.
CONGRATULATIONS, PAL.

YOU JUST SCREWED UP
AN ENTIRE OPERATION.

NO WAY, MAN. YOU SAVE THAT
ONE FOR THE FOLKS DOWNTOWN.

PUT THE BRACELETS ON.

- YOU WANNA SCREW UP SOME MORE?
- PUT THE BRACELETS ON,
SERGEANT.

OKAY. YOU'RE AN INTELLIGENT MAN.

AH.

HERE. OPEN IT.

GO ON. YOU EARNED IT.

FIFTY GRAND. HALF IS YOURS.

IF YOU'RE AS INTELLIGENT
AS I THINK YOU ARE.

I THINK IT'S TIME YOU
LEARNED THE FACTS OF LIFE.

THERE ISN'T A COP AT DIVISION
ABOVE THE RANK OF SERGEANT...

WHO ISN'T INTO SOME
VERY SERIOUS MONEY.

OKAY, CHIEF, IN WE GO.

YEAH.

I LOST THE SUCKER. I GOT A
GOOD LOOK AT HIM THOUGH.

- YOU READ HIM HIS RIGHTS?
- HIM?

HE READ ME HIS RIGHTS.

HEY... HEY, MAN.
IT'S COOL, BABE.

WE'LL NAIL HIM NEXT
TIME OUT, OKAY?

YEAH. YEAH, I GUESS SO.

OKAY, OKAY, LET'S MOVE IT.

OKAY. OKAY. TAKE A SEAT, CHIEF.

I WANT A PHONE CALL. I
WANT MY LAWYER DOWN HERE.

FIRST WE BOOK, THEN YOU CALL. SIT
DOWN. MY STOMACH'S GONE WEIRD ON ME.

I DON'T KNOW I GOT SOME
ANTACIDS DOWNSTAIRS. YOU MIND?

UH-UH.

DO I LOOK A LITTLE
PEAKED TO YOU? ALWAYS.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. MM-HMM.

HEY, FAIRLY, HOW'S IT
GOING? FINE. HOW YOU DOING?

ALL RIGHT.

FROM WHAT I KNOW OF
THE PRESIDENT'S ITINERARY,

I DON'T THINK HE'S GONNA
HAVE TIME TO VISIT BUILDINGS...

ON BLOOD TURF AND SHAMROCK TURF.

CAPTAIN, CAPTAIN.

YEAH, I... I KINDA FIGURED THAT YOU
WERE GONNA SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT,

SO LET ME JUST COME
RIGHT TO THE POINT, OKAY?

NO TOUR, NO TREATY.

YOU KNOW, I GOT A DEAL WITH
THE CATHOLIC URBAN COALITION.

I DON'T HAVE TO BE HERE. YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN? WHO NEEDS THIS?

WE DIDN'T WANT TO PARLEY WITH YOU
HONKIES IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU KNOW?

GENTLEMEN, PLEASE. IF... IF WE'RE
ALL WILLING TO BEND A LITTLE...

YOU SAID WE WERE HERE
TO NEGOTIATE A TREATY.

BUT ALL THIS WHITE MEAT'S TRYING
TO DO IS SUCK CANAL WATER, MAN.

THE PRESIDENT IS ON A
VERY TIGHT SCHEDULE.

VISITING TWO GHETTO DWELLINGS
WOULD BE A-A... A DUPLICATION OF EFFORT.

MAN'S GOT A POINT, BOYS. YOU'VE
SEEN ONE RAT, YOU'VE SEEN 'EM ALL.

OKAY, LOOK! LOOK!

I CANNOT BELIEVE
THAT THERE AREN'T...

MUTUALITIES OF INTEREST
TO BE EXPLORED HERE.

UH, MUTUAL... I'M SORRY.

MUTUALITIES OF INTEREST,

AS, FOR INSTANCE, IN THE JEFFERSON
AVENUE BASKETBALL COURT.

- WH-WH-WHAT ABOUT THE COURT?
- BOUNDARIES, DUMMY. BOUNDARIES!

THE LINE BETWEEN THE BLOOD AND
THE SHAMROCK RUNS THROUGH MIDCOURT.

YES, THAT'S... THAT'S
TRUE. HE'S GOT A POINT.

UH, GENTLEMEN, WHAT I
THINK MR. ABDUL-HASSIM...

IS TRYING TO EXPLAIN...

IS THAT THE BOUNDARY IN QUESTION
PROHIBITS FULL-COURT PLAY, YES?

LOOK, IT'S VERY SIMPLE. YOU
SEE, YOU GIVE US FULL COURT,

AND WE'LL LET THE PRESIDENT
CROSS OUR TURF TO GET TO YOURS.

SEE, BUT THERE'S A
PROBLEM WITH FULL COURT.

SEE, WHEN YOU START BRINGING
IN, LIKE, THAT FRIED CHICKEN.

- LOOK, MAN,
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!
- THE RADIOS.

LOOK, I'M TELLING YOU, MONKEY...

WE GET FULL COURT, OR YOU
DON'T GET NO PRESIDENT, YOU DIG?

I THINK I DIG.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. WE'RE GONNA GIVE
YOU MONDAYS AND FRIDAYS FOR A MONTH.

A MONTH! YOU GONNA
GIVE US A MONTH.

MICKEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK WE JUST GONNA

HAVE TO TAKE THAT
COURT OFF YOUR HANDS.

YOU UNDERSTAND? HOW
ABOUT... HOW ABOUT...

ONE MONTH,

WITH AN OPTION FOR
A SECOND MONTH?

OKAY. OKAY, WE'LL
GO FOR THE OPTION.

I'M GONNA GO FOR THE OPTION
'CAUSE I GOT THINGS TO DO TODAY.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

ONE WHITE DEATH...
ONE... IT'S OVER FOR YOU.

CAN YOU LIVE WITH THAT?

IT'LL DO.

- ALL RIGHT.
- YEAH.

TELL YOUR MAMA TO
MEET ME AT 10:00, BOY.

COME ON, MOVE!

BELKER.

WHAT, ARE YOU WAITING FOR AN ENGRAVED
INVITATION? YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS. MOVE!

YOU WANNA SIT DOWN THERE, OR
WOULD YOU PREFER INTERNAL INJURIES?

NAME.

NAME. CARSTAIRS, ROLAND P.

DO YOU SPELL THAT WITH
A "C" OR A "K," ROLAND?

NO, MAN, I SPELL IT WITH A "Q."

HILL STREET, DETECTIVE BELKER.

HI, MA.

I'M, UH, BOOKING A PICKPOCKET.

I'M LISTENING.

MA, YOU'RE NOT
HAVING A HEART ATTACK,

SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT?

HE'S STANDING AT THE
WINDOW WITH BINOCULARS.

WHY IS THAT SUCH A BAD THING?

SO WHAT IF HE'S A PEEPING TOM?

SO LET HIM. THE MAN IS 83.

ALL HE'S GOT LEFT IS HIS PEEP.

MA. MA. MA!

I AM NOT ARRESTING MY
OWN FATHER, AND THAT'S THAT.

END OF CONVERSATION.

HOLD ON FOR A SECOND.

THAT'S BETTER.

WHAT?

DEBBIE KAPLAN?

IS THAT CEIL KAPLAN'S
DAUGHTER, MA?

WHAT DID YOU DO?

NO. I DON'T WANNA MEET HER!

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR DATES.

OKAY, I'LL CALL HER.
WHAT'S HER NUMBER?

JUST GIVE ME HER
NUMBER. SIX, FIVE, EIGHT...

OKAY. OKAY. I'LL CALL HER.

I PROMISE. GOOD-BYE.

HILL STREET, DONOVAN.

HEY, COME ON. TOODLE-OO.
COME ON, TOOTS, COME ON.

HEY, YOU MUST BE SERIOUSLY
OFF YOUR FEED, LOVER. WHAT?

YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THE
TRADE. OH, YEAH. YEAH, SHE'S NICE.

STOMACH STILL BOTHERING YOU?

WELL, DICOSTANZO'S
IN THE CAGE, AND...

HEY, YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY, BABE?

HEY, I SAID, YEAH.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE MAKING
A SERIOUS MISTAKE, MAN.

THAT JIVE ABOUT YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW.
YOU CAN'T LET IT GET TO YOU.

YEAH, I GUESS. YOU
GOTTA FORGET IT, MAN.

YOU'LL LIVE LONGER.

SOON AS DICOSTANZO'S
LAWYER GETS HERE,

WE'LL COMMENCE US SOME
HEAVY-DUTY INTERROGATING.

AND THAT OUGHTA CHEER YOU UP.

THANKS.

WE'RE GONNA NEED THE
PLACE FOR THREE DAYS.

THE NETWORK GUYS
WILL GET THE RED PASSES.

THE NEWSPAPERS AND RADIO
PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE BLUE.

WE'LL GIVE YELLOW
TO THE MAGAZINES.

WHY DON'T WE JUST GO WITH
OUR STANDARD PRESS PERMITS?

I THINK YOU'RE UNDERESTIMATING
THE SIZE OF THE PRESS CORPS...

IN A SITUATION
LIKE THIS, CAPTAIN.

OUR PEOPLE NEED TO
IDENTIFY EXACTLY WHO'S WHO,

SO WE CAN CONTROL
PRESIDENTIAL ACCESS.

PRESIDENTIAL ACCESS.

HEY, FRANK, THEY WANT
A BOXING RING. WHO?

THE YOUTH CLUB, IN RETURN
FOR GIVING THE SECRET SERVICE...

THEIR FACILITIES FOR THREE DAYS.

WHAT'S A BOXING RING
COST? I DON'T KNOW.

YOU GONNA GIVE IT
TO 'EM? PHIL, PLEASE.

WELL, I'M SORRY, FRANCIS.

I CAN'T HELP BEING DISMAYED AT THIS
CONSTANT "GIMME, GIMME, GIMME" ATTITUDE.

IT'S EXTORTIONARY. EXCUSE ME.

WHAT'S DOIN'?

DO YOU WANNA SEE
ME, J.D.? UH, YEAH.

UH, WE NAILED THAT
DEALER, SONNY DICOSTANZO.

WAY TO GO. GOOD COLLAR.

THANKS. NO PROBLEM
WITH IT, IS THERE?

NO, NO. JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW.

OKAY.

THANKS. RIGHT.

AH-AH.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON PARK DETAIL.
JUST CALL IT IN, AND LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.

UH-UH. LOOKS LIKE THERE MIGHT
BE SOME TROUBLE. I'M GONNA HIT IT.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT. BREAK IT
UP. BREAK IT UP. BACK OFF.

BACK OFF. ALL RIGHT.

LOOK AT MY CAR! THIS
FOOL PILED RIGHT INTO ME!

I'M BACKIN' OUT OF MY
GARAGE... OKAY. OKAY.

I'LL PUT MY FIST UPSIDE
THIS STOOGE-ASS, MAN.

HOLD ON! HOLD ON! BOTH
OF YOU. HEY, HOLD ON!

HEY, HOLD ON! BOTH OF YOU.

WOULD YOU GET OVER HERE?

YOU BOTH STAY CALM AND COOL,
OR I'M GONNA RUN YOU BOTH IN.

YOU GOT THAT? YEAH.

YOU UNDERSTAND? I
DIDN'T START NOTHIN'.

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD FILL
OUT THE ACCIDENT REPORT...

WHILE I RUN IN THEIR LICENSES?

ACCIDENT REPORT.

YOU JUST DO IT.

ACCIDENT REPORT. YOU GOTTA FILL
AN ACCIDENT REPORT OUT IN TRIPLICATE.

DAMN. OKAY, GENTLEMEN.
LET ME HAVE YOUR LICENSES.

THIS IS NOWHERE, MAN.

YOU KNOW THIS CAT'S GOT
NO INSURANCE. INSURANCE?

LOOK AT THE HEAP HE'S DRIVING. INSURANCE
COSTS MORE THAN THE CAR IS WORTH.

I DON'T NEED NO INSURANCE, JIM.

I AIN'T NEVER HAD AN
ACCIDENT BEFORE IN MY LIFE!

EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE TIME I CLIPPED THIS
DUDE'S OLD LADY CROSSING AGAINST THE LIGHT,

BUT THAT WASN'T MY FAULT.

ALL RIGHT. WHO WANTS TO START?

I'M COMIN' OUT MY GARAGE... I
WAS DRIVING DOWN THE STREET.

THIS MAN'S COMING DOWN THE
STREET... GOING ABOUT 35 MILES AN HOUR.

- WOULD YOU SHUT UP?
- DID HE SAY "SHUT UP"?

NOW, HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO FILL OUT THIS REPORT...

IF YOU TWO ARE GONNA STAND
THERE YAPPING AT ME LIKE THIS?

YOU JUST BACK OFF,
JIM. HEY, WHITEY.

WHO YOU CALLING "JIM," JIM?

UH-HUH. START WALKING.

YOU WANT AN ACCIDENT
REPORT, YOU FILL IT OUT.

WHAT THE HELL'S THE
MATTER WITH YOU, MAN?

THEY DON'T PAY ME ENOUGH
TO DEAL WITH ANIMALS LIKE THIS!

THE FIRST THING THEY SEE IS A WHITE
FACE, AND ALL THEY WANNA DO IS DO 'EM IN!

YOU LISTEN TO ME, RENKO.
IT WAS A WHITE FINGER

THAT PULLED THE
TRIGGER, NOT A BLACK ONE!

IT WAS A WHITE ONE! I AIN'T
GONNA NEVER FORGET THAT.

AND YOU BETTER NOT EITHER.

HELLO, IS, UH, DEBBIE
THERE? SPEAKING.

WELL, HI, THIS IS MICK
BELKER. MICK "BELCHER"?

MICK BELKER, ROSE
BELKER'S SON. OH.

DIDN'T YOUR MOTHER WARN
YOU I'D BE CALLING? NO.

MOTHERS.

WELL, I... I THINK YOUR
MOM TOLD MY MOM...

THAT YOU WERE EXPECTING
ME TO CALL YOU FOR A DATE, SO...

NO, I KNOW YOU
DON'T NEED A DATE.

YOU PROBABLY GOT
DATES UP THE WAZOO.

UH, I DIDN'T MEAN IT THE WAY IT SOUNDED.
THAT'S JUST A POLICE EXPRESSION.

COULD YOU HOLD ON FOR
JUST A MINUTE, PLEASE?

HI. UH, DEBBIE, I KNOW
YOU'RE PROBABLY BUSY. NO.

I'M JUST CALLING
TO GET IT OVER WITH.

YOU'RE NOT BUSY. NO.
I'D LIKE TO MEET YOU.

WELL, WHY DO YOU WANT TO
DO THAT? WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

THIS WEEK? YEAH.
I'LL PICK YOU UP.

PICK ME UP? WELL,
I GOT MY OWN CAR.

NO. I CAN TAKE A CAB.

UH, THE NEIGHBORHOOD'S
A LITTLE HAIRY.

A CAB MIGHT NOT WANNA
COME UP HERE. RIGHT.

I'M, UH, LOOKING
FORWARD TO IT TOO. YEAH.

BYE.

YES, WE'RE COORDINATING SECURITY
FOR THE PRESIDENT'S WALKING TOUR.

NO, I'M NOT TAKING
A CHEAP SHOT, DAVE,

BUT THIS PRECINCT IS OPERATING
AT LESS THAN FULL STRENGTH,

WE'VE GOT TWO FRESH HOMICIDES,
AND, BOY, IS THIS ROTTEN.

NO. SORRY. NOT YOU, DAVE.

A LETTER I JUST
RECEIVED. LOOK, UH...

ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT WITH
11 MEN OUT WITH THE FLU,

ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE, I
GOT A REAL "BLIVIT" ON MY HANDS.

I... UH-HUH.

YEAH, YEAH. WE'LL DO THE BEST
WE CAN. THANKS, COMMANDER.

NO DICE. THE ONLY
EXTRA BODY THEY'RE

SENDING US IS THE
POLICE DECORATOR... AGAIN!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY PHIL DOESN'T LIKE HER.

SHE'S A STUNNING WOMAN.

FAY FURILLO, PLEASE.

RAY, WOULD YOU EXCUSE
ME? JUST A SECOND.

SURE.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, FRANK? YEAH, YEAH.
I JUST HAVE TO MAKE A PERSONAL CALL.

HELLO? FAY, THIS IS
REALLY THE LOWEST.

WH-WHAT DO YOU THINK, I
GOT A SWISS BANK ACCOUNT...

WITH A MILLION BUCKS SQUIRRELED AWAY
OR SOME... I JUST TALKED TO MY LAWYER.

YEAH? WELL, LET ME TELL
YOU SOMETHING, FAY. Y...

THE LETTER... CAN THEY
REALLY DO WHAT HE SAYS?

GARNISH YOUR WAGES, NO.

THERE ARE LAWS THAT PROTECT
YOU FROM THAT SORT OF THING.

THEN WHAT THE HELL
IS SHE TRYING TO DO?

I THINK SHE'S TRYING TO BULLY YOU
INTO PAYING MORE CHILD SUPPORT.

I'M BROKE. I DON'T
HAVE ANY MORE.

EVEN IF I DID, THAT KIND OF
THING IS BLACKMAIL, ISN'T IT?

THERE ARE TWO KINDS
OF DIVORCES, FRANK.

IN ONE KIND, THE
COUPLE BREAKS UP,

SPLITS THE PROPERTY, WORKS
OUT THE CUSTODY OF THE KIDS...

AND GOES THEIR SEPARATE WAYS.

IN THE OTHER KIND, THE
TWO PEOPLE BREAK UP,

SPLIT THE PROPERTY, WORK
OUT THE CUSTODY OF THE KIDS...

AND THEN CONTINUE TO
SCRATCH AT ALL THE PROBLEMS...

THAT ITCHED THEM
IN THEIR MARRIAGE.

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THEY DO IT
LONG DISTANCE BETWEEN THE LAWYERS.

WHAT KIND OF
DIVORCE DO YOU HAVE?

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

WELL, YOU CAN RESPOND WITH A
LAWYER'S LETTER OF YOUR OWN,

BUT THAT WILL NECESSITATE A
RESPONSE FROM HER LAWYER,

ET CETERA, ET
CETERA, AD INFINITUM.

AND THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO WILL GET
YOUR MONEY WILL BE THE LETTER WRITERS.

OR THE TWO OF YOU CAN SIT DOWN LIKE
TWO ADULTS AND REVIEW THE SITUATION.

I'M EXTENDED TO
THE LIMIT AS IT IS.

HAVE YOU GOTTEN A
RAISE IN THOSE TWO YEARS?

- JUST COST OF LIVING.
- HAS FAY?

ALL RIGHT, I SURRENDER.

I'LL TALK TO HER.

DON'T DO IT FOR ME,
FRANK. DO IT FOR YOUR SON...

AND YOURSELF.

YOU'D HAVE MADE A HELL OF A
MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, COUNSELOR.

REMEMBER THIS BRACELET?

MMM.

WE GOT IT IN THAT
LITTLE ANTIQUE SHOP.

MM-HMM. THE FIRST WEEKEND
WE EVER SPENT TOGETHER.

OH...

GOLD... IT SUITS YOU, DAVENPORT.

I LOVE YOU.

AND I LOVE THAT BRACELET.

BUT IT'S NOT DOING EITHER OF
US ANY GOOD SITTING ON MY WRIST.

OH, NO. NO, NO, NO.

I'D HOCK MY WATCH
BEFORE I'D LET YOU DO THAT.

CAN I OFFER YOU A LOAN?

UNDERSTAND SOMETHING, JOYCE. IF MY SON
NEEDED AN OPERATION OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT,

I'D JUMP ON YOUR
OFFER IN A SECOND.

BUT YOU'RE RIGHT, THIS
IS BETWEEN FAY AND ME.

AND I DON'T WANT
YOU IN THE MIDDLE.

CAN I SEE YOU TONIGHT?

CAN YOU PROMISE YOU WON'T RUN
OUT ON ME WHEN THAT BUZZER GOES OFF?

I DON'T WANNA PROMISE SOMETHING
I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO DELIVER.

FAIR ENOUGH.

LET ME THINK ABOUT
IT AND CALL YOU LATER?

I LOVE YOU, MONEYBAGS.

WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?

DISPATCH, I GOT AN
ASSAULT COMPLAINT.

943 BEEKMAN AVENUE,

APARTMENT THREE, THIRD FLOOR.

HOW ABOUT, UH, HINGLE AND PEREZ?

NO, FORGET THAT.

PULL HILL AND
RENKO OFF THE PARK.

CORNER ROOM TO THE LEFT, OFFICERS.
HE'S BEATING HER SOMETHING AWFUL!

ALL RIGHT IN THERE.
OPEN UP THE DOOR. POLICE.

HE'S CRAZY, MAN. HE'S GOT A GUN!

I SAID OPEN UP THE DOOR,
OR I'M GONNA KICK IT IN!

RENKO, THE WOMAN
SAID HE'S GOT A GUN.

LET'S JUST CALL
FOR SOME BACKUPS.

YOU SCARED? NO! NO!

KICK IT.

GET OUTTA HERE!

COME ON, MAN, KICK IT!

NO! NO!

CALL IN A COUPLE BACKUPS AND
THE MEDICS. I'M GOING AFTER HIM.

SORRY. DON'T...
DON'T SHOOT ME, MAN.

BOBBY?

WHAT YOU DOING? YOU
TURN ON THE LIGHTS?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA KILL
HIM, MAN. SO HE COULD DUST ME!

HE COULD'VE KILLED ME, MAN!

HE COULD'VE KILLED ME!
HE COULD'VE KILLED ME!

HE COULD'VE KILLED ME!

FRANK... FRANK, I HAVE A HALF A
DOZEN CALLS HERE FROM PARKER.

YOU'D THINK WE HAD NOTHING BETTER
TO DO THAN HOLD THAT GUY'S HAND.

PLUS, YOUR EX-WIFE
CALLED. HER I WANT.

AND YOU GOT A FIRE
TO PUT OUT OVER THERE.

YEAH, I, UH, THOUGHT WE MIGHT
GET TOGETHER TONIGHT, TALK.

TONIGHT.

LOOK, I GET OUTTA
HERE ABOUT 7:00.

LET'S SAY WE MEET
SOMEPLACE IN THE OPEN.

SALLY'S CLAM HOUSE?
YEAH, I KNOW THE PLACE.

8:00's COOL.

I GOT HALF A DOZEN REPORT
CARDS HERE FROM CIVILIANS...

WHO SEEM TO THINK YOU'RE A COUPLE OF
OUTPATIENTS FROM COUNTY PSYCHIATRIC.

WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?

IT'S NOT WORKING OUT, CAPTAIN.
YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES SOMETIMES.

NO, I DON'T, RENKO. EDUCATE ME.

I WANT TO GO INTO PLAINCLOTHES.

- ESTERHAUS PROMISED ME
HE'D TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT.
- ALL RIGHT.

LET'S RUN THE REQUEST UP TO DIVISION.
YOU KNOW YOU'LL HAVE TO LEAVE THE PRECINCT.

- WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
- HIM.

FINE. THEN IT'S SOLVED...
YOU'RE DIVORCED.

- JUST LIKE THAT?
- YOU GOT IT, HILL. JUST LIKE THAT.

I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE. DON'T
THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONES.

YOU WALKED IN THE WRONG DOORWAY AND
GOT SMACKED. YOU BOTH OUGHTA BE DEAD.

NOT BECAUSE YOU SCREWED UP,
AND NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE BAD COPS.

YOU'RE NOT. AS A MATTER OF
FACT, YOU'RE EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD.

BUT IT HAPPENS. AND IF YOU
SURVIVE, IT'S NEVER LIKE IT WAS.

IT'S ALWAYS WITH
YOU. THE "WHAT IFS."

"WHICH ONE OF US FAILED?"

AND THE SHAME, EMBARRASSMENT,

THE ANGER...

AND MOST OF ALL, THE FEAR
OF GOING BACK OUT THERE.

WELL, IT DOESN'T
FAZE ME, CAPTAIN.

THAT'S BULL. YOU WERE
SCARED OUTTA YOUR SOCKS.

TURNIN' ON THAT LIGHT SWITCH.

WHO'S TELLIN' WHO WHO'S SCARED?

SURE, I WAS. BUT I
CAN ADMIT IT, RENKO.

- I'VE GOT NO PROBLEM WITH THAT.
- THEN ADMIT IT.

YOU'RE SWIMMIN' IN IT!

ALL RIGHT. SO I'M NERVOUS
OUT THERE. BIG DEAL.

YOU JUST MAKE ME PLAINCLOTHES,
AND I'LL GET OVER THAT REAL FAST!

I TOLD YOU I'D PROCESS THE
REQUEST, RENKO, AND I WILL. CLEAR?

YES, SIR.

MEANTIME, I WANT YOU TO GET
YOUR ACTS TOGETHER INDIVIDUALLY,

OR NEITHER ONE OF YOU
HAS MUCH OF A FUTURE.

HOW YOU DO THAT
IS YOUR BUSINESS.

BUT I WON'T TOLERATE INCOMPETENCE
ON THE JOB, NOT FOR ANY REASON.

UNTIL I HEAR OTHERWISE, PHIL WILL BE
FINDING YOU SEPARATE DUTY ASSIGNMENTS.

OH, MAN, DON'T START THAT.

WOULD YOU STOP IT, MAN?

DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

YOU WOULDN'T LAST MORE THAN 10
MINUTES OUT THERE WITHOUT ME ANYWAY.

OH, YEAH? I HAVEN'T BEEN
DOING TOO GOOD WITH YA ANYWAY.

AH. OH, JESUS.

WE NEED EACH OTHER, BOBBY.

I'M AFRAID WE DO, COWBOY.

LOOK, UH,

WHY DON'T WE JUST GO
GET SOMETHING TO EAT...

AND, UH, GO BACK TO WORK? RIGHT.

YEAH.

OH, GOD.

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT
THIS THING NONSTOP.

IT'S REALLY MESSED UP MY HEAD.

NOW, LOOK, WHATEVER YOU AND YOUR
PEOPLE ARE INTO, THAT'S YOUR BUSINESS.

I DON'T WANT NO PART OF IT.

I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
THE MONEY BACK.

DETECTIVE LaRUE.

WE'RE FROM INTERNAL
AFFAIRS. YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.

NOTHING TURNS MY
STOMACH LIKE A CROOKED COP.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT!

THIS THE WAY YOU WANNA
PLAY IT, HUH, MACAFEE?

OKAY.

OKAY.

FEEL BETTER?

I'VE ALWAYS ENJOYED A GOOD SOAK.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED, FURILLO?

HMM? A FACIAL. HOW ABOUT IT?

ABSOLUTELY.

I'VE NEEDED ONE OF
THOSE FOR YEARS.

AND THEN A PROLONGED
BODY MASSAGE...

WITH APRICOT LOTION.

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN PARTICULARLY
FOND OF APRICOTS, COUNSELOR.

MMM.

PHIL, FRANK.

FRANCIS, I REALLY FEEL TERRIBLE
DISTURBING YOU LIKE THIS.

I FEEL TERRIBLE DISTURBING
YOU LIKE THIS, FRANCIS.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM,
PHIL? IT'S FAY.

- WHAT ABOUT FAY?
- SHE'S BEEN ARRESTED.

WHAT?

I HAD A CALL FROM A DETECTIVE
WALSH AT THE POLK AVENUE PRECINCT.

SHE'S RAISING HELL DOWN THERE,

AND I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT JUST
WANT TO ADDRESS THE SITUATION.

OH, WONDERFULNESS.

A MURDER? IT MIGHT
JUST COME TO THAT.

WELL, THEN LET'S HOPE FOR THE
BEST... MAYBE MANSLAUGHTER.

ANY CHANCE OF
KEEPING THAT TUB FULL?

BEFORE WE GOT OUR
RESPECTIVE DIVORCES,

I USED TO TELL MYSELF THAT THE
SIGHT OF YOU PULLING ON YOUR SOCKS...

AND RUSHING OFF INTO
THE NIGHT DIDN'T BOTHER ME.

I TOLD MYSELF THAT I UNDERSTOOD.

I THOUGHT THAT WHEN
THE DUST SETTLED,

THERE'D BE MORE TIME FOR US
TO, UH, EXPLORE EACH OTHER,

AND MAYBE FIND OUT OR FIGURE OUT IF
WE WERE CAPABLE OF SOMETHING MORE...

THAN JUST AN EXTRAMARITAL
GAME OF BUMP AND TICKLE.

MAYBE I CAN COME BACK.

DON'T PROMISE WHAT
YOU CAN'T DELIVER, FRANK.

IS THIS IT? IS THIS THE
BEST WE CAN HOPE FOR?

IT'S A TWO-WAY STREET, KIDDO.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD
MORE THAN A COUPLE OF HOURS TO SPARE?

DETECTIVE WALSH,
SHIELD NUMBER 1974,

INDELIBLY BURNED INTO MY BRAIN.

YOUR BEHIND IS GONNA BE IN A SLING,
MISTER, WHEN MY HUSBAND GETS HERE.

HE'S HERE, MA'AM.
YOU CAN GO NOW.

WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? I
JUST GOT THE CALL FROM PHIL ESTERHAUS.

I DON'T HAVE TO ASK
WHERE YOU'VE BEEN.

I WAS ENJOYING THE AIR IN A FRIEND'S
HOT TUB, THANK YOU VERY MUCH,

WHEN THIS S.S. MAN, IN A
TOTALLY UNWARRANTED RAID,

INVADED OUR PRIVACY!

I THINK AT THE VERY
LEAST WHAT WE'RE LOOKING

AT HERE IS FALSE
ARREST, POLICE BRUTALITY.

FAY, PLEASE, LET'S JUST GO. WE WERE
INVESTIGATING A NEIGHBOR'S COMPLAINT, SIR.

FRANK, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
SUBJECTED TO A CAVITY SEARCH?

A QUANTITY OF MARIJUANA
WAS SEIZED ON THE SCENE, SIR.

WELL, IT WASN'T MINE! I DON'T
USE DRUGS! FAY, LET'S GO.

CAPTAIN, I'M SORRY. WE
DIDN'T KNOW WHO SHE WAS.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
ASK NEXT TIME, YOU BOZO!

FAY, SHUT UP!

THANK YOU, WALSH. DON'T WORRY,
YOU WERE JUST DOING YOUR JOB.

NEVER... NEVER
IN MY WHOLE LIFE...

HAVE I EVER BEEN
TREATED LIKE THAT!

I AM GONNA SUE THIS
DEPARTMENT'S CHEEKS OFF!

HOW DARE THEY!

WHO DO THEY THINK I AM,
JUST SOME SORT OF A COMMON...

I WAS SO SCARED.

I KNOW. I KNOW. IT'S OKAY.

WHAT WERE YOU
DOING THERE ANYWAY?

I TOLD YOU.

YOU WERE ALL IN THERE... NAKED?

NO, I WAS WEARING A WET SUIT.

OF COURSE, WE WERE NAKED.

WHO WERE THEY?

FRIENDS OF HARVEY'S.

WHERE WAS... WHAT'S
HIS NAME... HARVEY?

AT A PSYCHIATRIC
CONVENTION IN CALIFORNIA.

HE'S VERY CONSERVATIVE
ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS, FRANK.

WHEN HE FINDS OUT... HE
DOESN'T HAVE TO FIND OUT.

I WAS BOOKED. YOU
CAN BE UNBOOKED.

I CAN?

FIRST, WE HAVE TO
TALK. ABOUT WHAT?

THE LETTER FROM THE
LAWYER. THAT'S BLACKMAIL.

NO ONE'S TRYING TO
BLACKMAIL ANYONE.

I JUST WANT TO
TALK... YOU AND ME.

FAY, WE'RE ADULTS.

WE ONCE LOVED EACH
OTHER VERY MUCH.

WE STILL SHARE A
LOVE FOR OUR SON.

THERE'S NO REASON WE SHOULD
BEAT EACH OTHER UP WITH THREATS.

FOR ONCE SINCE THE DIVORCE, I
JUST WANT TO SIT DOWN AND TALK,

WORK OUT SOMETHING
WE CAN BOTH LIVE WITH.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

OKAY.

I'D LIKE THAT, FRANK.

COME ON. I'LL DRIVE YOU HOME.

ARE YOU SURE I WON'T BE CHARGED?
IT'S ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE
REALLY NOT SO BAD, FRANK.

OH, GOD. WHAT A NIGHT.

HOW MANY FRIENDS OF
YOURS WERE IN THAT HOT TUB?

WHAT ARE YOU, AN ACCOUNTANT?
I'M CONCERNED, THAT'S ALL.

OH. IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING,
I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU.

YOU DO, HUH?

YOU KNOW,

I HAD AN EROTIC DREAM
ABOUT YOU THE OTHER NIGHT.

DO YOU EVER DREAM ABOUT ME?

I'VE BEEN KNOWN TO.