Hill Street Blues (1981–1987): Season 1, Episode 12 - I Never Promised You a Rose, Marvin - full transcript

ITEM NINE... THE 400 BLOCK
OF VON STEUBEN AVENUE,

OR AS IS MORE COMMONLY
DESIGNATED, "SNIPER ALLEY."

AS YOU ARE NO DOUBT AWARE,
OFFICERS LUDWIG AND CARMICHAEL...

CHOSE TO DISREGARD THIS
PREVIOUSLY AFOREMENTIONED ITEM...

AND TOOK A RATHER COSTLY JOYRIDE
DOWN THE GAUNTLET LAST WEEK,

PRECIPITATING NOTABLE
DAMAGE TO THEIR UNIT...

AND A ONE-WAY
TICKET OFF THE HILL.

SO, LET'S TAKE A LESSON
FROM THIS EPISODE...

PARTS AND LABOR-WISE,

CAREER-WISE AND OTHERWISE...

AND STAY CLEAR OF
THAT SHOOTING GALLERY.



UNLESS YOU ARE IN HOT PURSUIT
OF A MAJOR, MAJOR FELON,

I DON'T EVEN WANT YOU
LOOKING UP THE ALLEY.

UNDERSTAND?

ALL RIGHT. ITEM 10.

WE RECEIVED ANOTHER REPORT
ABOUT THE MOTORCYCLIST...

BUZZING ST. TERESA'S WITHOUT
THE BENEFIT OF CLOTHING.

NOW, HE'S BEEN DESCRIBED AS A
MALE CAUCASIAN IN HIS EARLY 60s,

DRIVING A RED,
500c.c. ROYAL ENFIELD...

WITH A BABY-BLUE HELMET...

AND A LARGE TATTOO ON
HIS RIGHT UPPER BUTTOCK,

PLUS NUMEROUS TATTOOS
ON HIS UPPER BODY.

NOW, THESE ARE DEVOUT
ELDERLY LADIES AND NUNS...

BEING SUBJECTED TO
A PUBLIC INVASION...

OF PRIVATES, AS IT WERE.



YOUR UNCUSTOMARY SILENCE
TESTIFIES AMPLY TO THE ESTEEM...

IN WHICH WE HOLD THE
SUBJECT OF THIS LAST ITEM.

NOW, WE ALL KNOW WHO IS IN HERE.

TO MOST PEOPLE, THIS WOULD
SEEM JUST A COMMON URN.

BUT WE KNOW IT HOLDS
ONE OF THE PREMIER...

PHONE INSTALLERS OF THE COUNTRY,

OFFICER MARVIN OLIVER BOX,

OR SIMPLY "MARV" AS WE KNEW HIM.

BORN, 16 MAY, 1946.

DECEASED, JUST LAST
TUESDAY, IN THIS VERY ROOM,

WITH UNIFORM ON
AND DRILL BIT IN HAND.

MARV MUST'VE KNOWN THAT
HE'D BE LEAVING US SOON,

BECAUSE WE FOUND A
SMALL POEM IN HIS WILL...

WHICH WE'VE HAD INSCRIBED
ON THIS... THIS VESSEL HERE.

UH, "I'VE LAID A LOT OF CABLE,
AND I'VE STRUNG A LOT OF LINE.

"SURE, IT GETS LONELY,
BUT THAT'S OKAY,

BECAUSE IT BRINGS
PEOPLE CLOSER TOGETHER."

PER HIS FINAL WILL
AND TESTAMENT,

MARV WAS CREMATED YESTERDAY
AT BOLINSKI'S CREMATORIUM,

AND HE WILL LIE IN STATE...

BESIDES THE SQUAD
ROOM COFFEE MACHINE...

FOR THE REMAINDER
OF THE AFTERNOON.

MARV, LET'S ROLL, HUH?

AND LET'S BE CAREFUL UP THERE.

DISPATCH. WE HAVE A 9-11.

ARMED ROBBERY IN PROGRESS.

SEE SURPLUS STORE, CORNER
PEOPLE'S DRIVE, 124th STREET.

AT LEAST YOU GOT OUT WHILE
THE GETTIN' WAS GOOD, MARV.

'CAUSE YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM ME, THERE'S A
LOT OF CHANGES GOIN' DOWN AROUND HERE,

AND NONE OF 'EM
ARE FOR THE BETTER.

I'LL TELL YOU, NEAL. THIS
BEING A BUSINESSMAN'S

GIVEN ME A WHOLE
NEW OUTLOOK ON LIFE.

YEAH, ME TOO, LOVER.
IT'S CALLED MAJOR TRAUMA.

OH, HEY, LOOK. I, UH, PICKED
UP THE KEYS LAST NIGHT.

HEY! GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU,
J.D. YOU GOT A LOT OF GUTS, MAN,

CONSIDERING THE
NEIGHBORHOOD WE BOUGHT INTO.

MMM. MMM.

HEY, LOOKIN' PRETTY
RAGGED THERE, MICK.

YOU BEEN SLEEPING OKAY, BABE?

MMM. I WONDER WHAT'S EATING HIM.

HARD TO TELL UNLESS HE GROWLS.

ASIDE FROM THE OBVIOUS
FASHION ANGLE, THERE'S

ANOTHER ADVANTAGE
TO BEING IN PLAINCLOTHES.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA END UP IN SOME
LOUSY URN ON A PRECINCT COFFEE TABLE.

MARV THERE DIED OF
NATURAL CAUSES, RENKO.

WHEN YOU GO DOWN IN UNIFORM, THERE
AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS NATURAL CAUSES.

YOU OUGHTA KNOW THAT
AS WELL AS ANYBODY.

FIRST THING HAPPEN TO YOU,
THE FIRST THING YOU SAY...

OH, LORD, AM I GOING CRAZY,
OR DID I JUST HEAR HIM RATTLE?

BONES, RENKO. BONES. IT'S OBVIOUSLY
A THIRD-RATE CREMATION JOB.

YOU KNOW, YOU'D BE AMAZED AT THE
NUMBER OF FAHRENHEIT UNITS IT TAKES...

TO FULLY ASH THE
HUMAN SKELETAL SYSTEM.

2,400 MINIMUM FOR YOUR LARGER
BONES, LIKE YOUR FEMUR OR YOUR FIBULA.

AND THAT DOESN'T EVEN MENTION
THE, UH, GOLDARN CRANIUM.

- HOW MANY?
- THIRTY-SIX ARRESTS
IN THE PAST 24 HOURS,

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN COUNTING
THREE COLLARS HE GAVE TO BATES.

I JUST GOT THE
BREAKDOWN 10 MINUTES AGO.

NOW, PHIL, WE KNOW BELKER MOVES
FAST, BUT THIS IS HARD TO BELIEVE.

HAS HE BEEN WORKING OVERTIME? HE'S
BEEN PUNCHING OUT AFTER EIGHT HOURS,

BUT ACCORDING TO
THOSE ARREST TIMES,

HE'S BEEN BRINGING IN
SUSPECTS NEARLY 24 HOURS A DAY.

WELL, SOMETHING'S
WRONG HERE, PHIL.

I MEAN, EITHER WITH THESE
REPORTS OR WITH BELKER.

TELL HIM I WANT TO SEE HIM
AS SOON AS HE GETS BACK IN.

ALL RIGHT. HILL, RENKO!

CAPTAIN? YES, SIR?

CLEANERS LOSE YOUR UNIFORMS, OR
HAVE YOU OUTGROWN THEM BY NOW?

NO, SIR. ACTUALLY, WE JUST HAD A LITTLE
MORE WORK TO DO ON THAT RIVAS MURDER CASE.

WE FIGURE WE'LL HAVE THAT COUNCILMAN
McAURLEY ON ICE FOR YOU IN A DAY OR TWO.

APPRECIATE YOUR ZEAL, RENKO, BUT
CHESLEY'S ALREADY GOT A HANDLE ON IT.

WELL, THEN, WHERE DOES
THAT LEAVE ME AND BOBBY?

THAT LEAVES YOU BACK IN UNIFORM AND OUT
ON THE STREETS, WHERE WE REALLY NEED YOU.

YEAH, BUT... I'VE ALREADY FORWARDED
YOUR TRANSFER TO PLAINCLOTHES,

BUT UNTIL WE HEAR FROM DIVISION,
IT'S BUSINESS AS USUAL, OKAY?

DON'T WORRY, COWBOY.
YOU'LL LOOK JUST FINE IN A JAR.

LISTEN, I'M RUNNING LATE, PHIL.
WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE HERE?

JUST A CALL FROM MIDTOWN.
THEY'RE SENDING OVER THE TAPE...

THEY GOT OF FAY'S
OBSCENE PHONE CALLER.

GOOD. HANG ONTO IT. I'LL
LISTEN TO IT WHEN I GET BACK.

THAT'S IT?

CAN'T KEEP DESTINY WAITING.

WHAT A PLEASANT COINCIDENCE.
NO COINCIDENCE, FURILLO.

I PHONED YOUR OFFICE. GET IN.
I'VE GOT A BREAKFAST. I'M LATE.

FRANK, WOULD YOU PLEASE GET IN?

MY CLIENT, NEMO RODRIGUEZ?

THEY TRACED THE GUN TO SOMEONE
WHO ALLEGEDLY SOLD IT TO HIM...

THREE DAYS BEFORE
THE RIVAS GIRL SHOOTING.

THAT GIVES THE D.A.
ENOUGH FOR PREMEDITATION.

I DIDN'T KNOW. NEITHER DID I.

NOT UNTIL I WALKED
INTO THAT COURTROOM.

OH! HEY, WHY DON'T
YOU GO AROUND ME?

FRANK, I HAVE SPENT OVER A WEEK PREPARING
A DEFENSE FOR INVOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER,

ONLY TO HAVE HIM
ARRAIGNED TODAY...

FOR FIRST DEGREE
MURDER... WITH NO BAIL.

WHAT ARE YOU REALLY MAD ABOUT,
COUNSELOR? BEING SUCKERED IN COURT...

OR THE FACT THAT McAURLEY MAY BE
TELLING THE TRUTH, AND THE D.A.'s RIGHT?

YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT
ANY MORE THAN I DO, FRANK.

IF NEMO DID SHOOT THE
GIRL, HE NEVER MEANT TO.

THAT MUCH I KNOW IN MY BONES.

WHAT'S WITH SCHNEIDER?
ANYTHING? NO.

BUT I EXPECT TO RUN
INTO HIM THIS AFTERNOON.

I THINK OUR PRUDENT SEPARATION
IS MAKING US BOTH A LITTLE TESTY.

WASN'T MY IDEA, KIDDO.
BOY, YOU SMELL GOOD.

BUT THEN, ONLY ONE OF US IS
GOING HOME TO AN EMPTY APARTMENT.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? SEND
HER BACK TO THAT PHONE PERVERT?

OF COURSE NOT.

HOW'S FRANK JR. TAKING IT?

HE'S A LITTLE CONFUSED.

HE THINKS HIS MOM AND DAD
MAY BE GETTING BACK TOGETHER.

ARE THEY?

I'M SORRY, FRANK. I
SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.

I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. FRANK!

I'D RECOMMEND THE
EGGS BENEDICT, FRANK,

BUT THE HOLLANDAISE IS
PROBABLY PETRIFIED BY NOW.

HELLO, HOWARD. FRANK.

ED. MORNING, FRANK.

I'M SORRY, CHIEF.

IT'S NOT ALL THAT EASY TO
GET OFF THE HILL, HUH, FRANK?

TOO BAD WE DON'T TAKE ATTENDANCE AT
THESE BREAKFASTS INTO ACCOUNT, DAVE.

OLD ED WOULD BE A SHOO-IN FOR
COMMANDER AGAINST FRANK THERE.

THERE'S NO DOUBT
ABOUT IT, CHIEF.

I'LL BET YOU'RE WONDERING ABOUT
OUR LITTLE CENTERPIECE, FRANK.

LOOKS A LITTLE
LIKE SNIPER ALLEY.

YOU GUESSED IT. JUST
A TERRIFIC JOB, HOWARD.

JUST SPLENDID.

THANK YOU. WILL
YOU LOOK AT THAT?

HE'S EVEN GOT LITTLE
PEOPLE IN THERE.

THEY'RE SCALE-MODEL HISPANICS,
CHIEF. I WAS HOPING YOU'D NOTICE.

OKAY, HOWARD.

WHAT'S HE GOT IN STORE
FOR US? WAIT AND SEE.

THAT'S IT, FRANK...
SURPRISE. THAT'S THE BABY.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, HOWARD'S
ALREADY SHOWN ME HIS... BABY.

THE SURPRISE, FRANK,
IS THAT ITS MOTHER...

JUST ARRIVED FROM NISHITSU'S
NAGASAKI PLANT LAST NIGHT...

ALL 25 TONS OF HER.

HOWARD'S GONNA BE
TAKING HER OUT FOR A LITTLE

SPIN DOWN THE REAL SNIPER
ALLEY THIS AFTERNOON.

IF YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYING SO,
CHIEF, WE'RE MAKING A GRAVE MISTAKE.

RELAX, FRANK, RELAX.

IT'S JUST A DRY RUN. IT
WON'T EVEN BE LOADED.

EXCEPT MAYBE FOR THOSE TWO
LITTLE GUNS IN THE TOP TURRET THERE.

AS FAR AS THE PEOPLE KNOW,

IT COULD JUST AS WELL BE A
FLOAT IN THE ROSE PARADE, HUH?

OKAY, HOWARD, FOR THE
BENEFIT OF US DESKBOUND TYPES,

LET'S SEE WHAT THIS
BABY OF YOURS CAN DO.

THANK YOU, CHIEF.

POWERED BY A 2,000-HORSEPOWER
KRUPP-GRUMMAN ENGINE,

ARMOR-PLATED, EQUIPPED WITH
A 360-DEGREE ARTILLERY TURRET,

IT HAS ENOUGH PROVISIONS
TO SUSTAIN FIVE PERSONNEL...

FOR 32 DAYS OF SIEGE.

NOW THE NISHITSU
IS WITHOUT EQUAL...

IN THE CURRENT URBAN
WARFARE TECHNOLOGY.

GENTLEMEN, THE PANDA.

THANK YOU.

HOWARD, THAT TUBULAR PROJECTION
ON THE FRONT... WHAT'S THAT FOR?

NICE TOUCH, HOWARD. HAVEN'T
SEEN ONE OF THOSE SINCE KOREA.

YES? THERE'S WHAT?

OH, I APPRECIATE YOUR DISCRETION,
LAURIE, BUT IT WASN'T NECESSARY.

GENTLEMEN, IT SEEMS THAT
THEY'VE HAD A SLIGHT 211 OUT FRONT...

AT THE COFFEE SHOP
A FEW SECONDS AGO.

BUT... BUT SINCE
UNITS ARE ON THE WAY,

AND THE SUSPECTS ARE
LONG GONE, I SUGGEST...

WE SIMPLY SIT BACK DOWN AGAIN AND ALLOW
HOWARD TO CONTINUE HIS DEMONSTRATION.

THE PRESS, CHIEF.

ON SECOND THOUGHT, UM,

I THINK A REAR EXIT WOULD
BE ADVISABLE, GENTLEMEN.

HOWARD, GET THAT
STUFF OUTTA HERE.

SORRY... LUCY, PASS
THESE OUT, WOULD YOU?

OKAY, NOW, EACH
$1,000 YOU'VE INVESTED...

REPRESENTS ONE SHARE OF
SALOONDROMAT, INCORPORATED,

OR 10% OF THE TOTAL
CAPITAL OUTLAY.

WATCH.

RACHEL AND I WERE
GONNA USE OUR GRAND...

AS A DEPOSIT ON THAT STATION
WAGON SHE'S ALWAYS WANTED.

YEAH. I WAS GONNA USE MINE
FOR MY CHILDREN'S EDUCATION.

MM-HMM.

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY
CHILDREN, PHIL. NO, NOT YET.

BUT I'VE MADE A BIG DECISION
ABOUT MY FUTURE. BIG.

THIS THING SAYS $4,000 OUTLAY!

WHAT RAY IS SAYING IS THAT,
WHERE'S THE OTHER $6,000?

- YOUR FIGURES ARE
A LITTLE VAGUE.
- HEY!

WHAT, AM I DEALING WITH A
BUNCH OF AMATEURS HERE?

HEY, YOU DON'T TURN SOME
PENSIONER'S DIVE INTO A SALOONDROMAT...

WITH A COUPLE OF KEGS OF
BEER AND SOME CHEEZ-ITS.

YOU GOTTA SPEND A
LITTLE... DECOR, LIQUOR...

NOT TO MENTION THE
WASHING MACHINES, DRYERS,

UTILITIES, GIRLS, JUKEBOXES.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

WHAT? GIRLS?

WHAT GIRLS, BABY? HMM?

DO YOU REALLY THINK OUR CUSTOMERS ARE
GONNA WANT TO DO THEIR LAUNDRY THEMSELVES?

NO WAY. AND THEY'RE
NOT GONNA HAVE TO,

BECAUSE WE ARE GONNA PROVIDE
SOME DYNAMITE FOXES TO HELP 'EM. OH!

BRING 'EM BLEACH,
SOME DETERGENT.

HEY, A LITTLE HELP WITH
THE FLUFF AND FOLD.

FLUFF AND FOLD? COME ON!

STRAIGHT THROUGH THE
DOORS, MA'AM. IT'S THE, UH,

GREEN-COLORED URN
ON... ON THE COFFEE TABLE.

I'M THRILLED, PHIL.
HONEST TO GOD.

BUT, UH, YOU KNOW, KIDS, PHIL...

KIDS ARE A BIG RISK.

I MEAN, YOU DON'T JUST
LEAP INTO IT WITH BOTH HANDS.

HENRY, I AM HARDLY
THE LEAPING TYPE.

NOPE.

I HAVE THOUGHT
THIS OVER IN DEPTH...

PROFOUND DEPTH,

DEEP DEPTH.

YOU'LL EXCUSE ME FOR SAYING SO,
BUT YOU'RE NO SPRING CHICKEN, PHIL.

IT'S A HELL OF A RISK.
LIFE IS A RISK. WHAT ISN'T?

YOU KNOW, A GUY I KNOW DIED TWO
WEEKS AGO EATING A CLUB SANDWICH.

FORGOT TO TAKE
OUT THE TOOTHPICKS.

PHIL, THERE ARE RISKS, AND
THEN THERE ARE... SERIOUS RISKS.

I GUESS GRACE KNOWS THAT SHE'S
PAST THE PRIME CHILDBEARING YEARS.

HENRY! NO, I'M TALKING
STATISTICS, PHIL...

PURE STATISTICS
ON WOMEN OVER 40.

HENRY, WE ARE NOT TALKING GRACE.

WE ARE TALKING CINDY.

CINDY? CINDY.

CINDY? BUT SHE'S...

EIGHTEEN LAST WEEK.

BUT A VERY MATURE YOUNG LADY.

OH, I'M SURE SHE IS, PHIL.

ALL I GOTTA DO IS BREAK
THE NEWS TO GRACE.

AND AFTER LAST NIGHT,
THAT MIGHT NOT BE EASY.

WHY? WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?

OH.

WELL, I GUESS YOU COULD
CALL IT, UH, THE LONG GOOD-BYE.

NO, I GUESS YOU COULDN'T, HUH?

CINDY? YEP.

I FEEL KIND OF GUILTY THAT
WE NEVER INVITED MARV...

TO ANY OF OUR TUESDAY
NIGHT POKER GAMES.

NOT TO SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD,
NEAL, BUT THE DUDE WAS BORING.

I LIKED HIM AS MUCH
AS THE NEXT GUY.

BUT LET'S FACE IT, MARV
WAS NOT MR. ENTERTAINMENT.

- WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THAT?
- IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,
I'D SAY THAT...

THAT BORING DUDE HAD
SOMETHING GOING FOR HIM.

MARV? MM-HMM.

NO WAY. IMPOSSIBLE. GOT
TO BE A DISTANT RELATIVE.

OH, MAN, HERE WE GO AGAIN.

I ALMOST DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH
THE DAY WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT IT.

MARV AND ME WERE LIKE THAT.

HE USED TO CALL ME J.D.,
AND I CALLED HIM BIG M.

I HAD A NICKNAME
FOR HIM TOO. YEAH?

BISCUIT. YOU KNOW,
AFTER SEABISCUIT? HMM?

THAT'S THE... THAT'S THE
NAME OF THE RACEHORSE.

IT STEERS LIKE AN
ABSOLUTE DREAM.

DAMN GOOD THING THAT HIROHITO DIDN'T
HAVE ONE OF THESE IN '44, HUH, GUYS?

HIROHITO... THAT'S NOT
FOR TRANSLATION, WEBSTER.

OH. SORRY, SIR.

WE'VE GOT ABOUT 40 MINUTES TO KILL.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GRAB A BITE TO EAT?

I KNOW A LITTLE PLACE
NOT FAR FROM HERE...

THAT'LL MAKE THOSE LITTLE
FELLAS FEEL RIGHT AT HOME.

I'LL PARK IT MYSELF.

UH-OH.

OOH!

COME ON. WE'LL HAVE
A LITTLE BITE TO EAT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

THEY JUST CAME IN AND... I
DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW!

ASK THEM. I DON'T
KNOW. THEY CAME IN AND...

THEY JUST CAME IN AND...
WE WILL CALL THE POLICE.

YOU WAIT HERE. UH, WEBSTER,

EXCHANGE THE NECESSARY
INFORMATION WITH HER, WILL YOU?

YES, SIR. UH...

LET'S DO A RUN ON HER IMMIGRATION
STATUS WHILE WE'RE AT IT.

YES, SIR. COME ON, LITTLE GUY.

I'M GONNA TAKE
CARE OF IT. NO! NO!

PHIL!

I'VE GOT OVER A DOZEN MORE
APPLICATIONS FOR TRANSFER HERE.

FIFTEEN, TO BE PRECISE, FRANCIS.

WELL, AT THIS RATE, WE MAY
AS WELL ALL PACK UP AND LEAVE.

MMM? THE THOUGHT
HAS CROSSED MY MIND.

PHIL, WILL YOU TALK
TO THESE PEOPLE?

I CAN'T PROCESS OVER 75
REQUESTS FOR TRANSFER.

THEY'LL THINK WE'RE
NUTS. AS YOU WISH, FRANCIS,

NOT THAT I GUARANTEE
IT'LL DO ANY GOOD.

THEY FIGURE IF YOU
LEAVE, WHY STAY?

OH, I TAKE IT MIDTOWN HAS SENT UP THAT
TAPE OF FAY'S OBSCENE PHONE CALLER.

YEAH, I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF
BORROWING THIS FROM HENRY'S DESK.

THAT'S RIGHT,
BABY. YOU HEARD ME.

PEANUT BUTTER... ALL
UP AND DOWN YOUR BODY.

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT.

YOU KNOW YOU NEED IT.

WOW! I'M GETTING
REALLY TURNED ON, BABY,

AND I... I AIN'T EVEN
TALKIN' JELLY YET.

THEY LIKED IT, HUH? GOOD.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S NOTHING LIKE RAW
FISH TO BUILD UP THE NUCLEIC ACIDS, HUH?

WHY, I REMEMBER
WHEN I WAS STATIONED...

IN THE PHILIPPINES FOR
SEVERAL WEEKS IN '58.

THERE WERE SEVERAL...

WHAT IS HE SAYING, WEBSTER?
MR. O'KINO HUMBLY INQUIRES,

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, SIR, WHETHER
YOU MAY HAVE LEFT THE KEYS IN THE IGNITION.

NOW, JUST A MOMENT HERE.

DO I LOOK LIKE THE SORT OF
MAN WHO WOULD LEAVE THE KEYS...

IN THE IGNITION OF A
SIX-MILLION-DOLLAR ASSAULT TANK?

WHY, I'VE GOT 'EM RIGHT HERE.

RIGHT... RIGHT
IN MY, UH... MY...

LET'S MAKE IT QUICK, BABE.

THIS SALOONDROMAT'S CUTTIN'
INTO OUR WORKDAY ENOUGH AS IT IS.

RELAX, MAN. I JUST WANNA SEE
HOW SHE LOOKS OVER THE BAR.

HUH? I THINK SHE'D LOOK
BETTER BEHIND BARS.

YOU MIGHT KNOW A
LOT ABOUT A LOT, NEAL,

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO SERIOUS
ART, YOU GOT A TERRIBLE DEFICIENCY.

YEAH, SURE, SURE.

GEEZ.

YOU WANNA HANG YOURSELF
CAREER-WISE, BE MY GUEST.

JUST DON'T TAKE ME
WITH YOU. HELLO, EMIL.

YOU'RE BEATIN' A
DEAD HORSE, FRANK.

NOBODY'S GONNA BELIEVE THAT
McAURLEY WAS PUTTIN' IT TO THAT RIVAS GIRL,

ESPECIALLY NOT AFTER WHAT
HE SAID ON TV THE OTHER NIGHT.

OH, YEAH, THAT WAS
A NICE SOFT SHOE.

COMPARES FAVORABLY
WITH THE CHECKERS SPEECH.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST
LET IT THE HELL BE?

BECAUSE SOMEBODY'S GOT TO
TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT THIS, EMIL,

SINCE NEITHER YOU NOR
THE D.A. SEEMS WILLING.

LOOK AT THE BOTTOM LINE.
RODRIGUEZ PULLED THAT TRIGGER.

WE BOTH KNOW THAT.

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES DRAGGING
McAURLEY INTO IT GONNA MAKE?

A LOT. AS IN THE
DIFFERENCE, FOR INSTANCE,

BETWEEN MANSLAUGHTER
AND MURDER ONE.

RODRIGUEZ?

LISTEN, BELIEVE ME, WHATEVER
THAT KID GETS, HE'S GOT COMIN'.

I'VE BEEN CLEANING UP AFTER
DIRT LIKE THAT FOR 27 YEARS, FRANK.

OH, EMIL, THAT'S NO ANSWER.

SURELY WE'VE GOT MORE
MORALITY THAN THAT.

DON'T YOU PREACH AT ME,
FRANK. YOU WANNA TALK MORALITY?

WHERE'S THE MORALITY IN
RUINING A GOOD MAN LIKE McAURLEY?

McAURLEY? OH,
YEAH. HE'S A PRINCE.

YOU BE SURE TO STOP
ME, EMIL, IF I'M WRONG.

WHAT WE HAVE HERE...

IS A MARRIED MAN WITH TWO KIDS,
INVOLVED IN WHAT AMOUNTS TO...

REPEATED STATUTORY
RAPE OF A JUVENILE...

WHILE PAYING DUES
TO A TEENAGE SEX CLUB.

EMIL, YOU'RE THE BEST HOMICIDE
DETECTIVE THIS CITY'S EVER HAD,

AND YET YOU'RE ABOUT
TO FLUSH IT ALL AWAY,

COVERING UP AT THE VERY LEAST...

THE MASSIVE INDISCRETIONS
OF A PUBLIC OFFICIAL.

THAT'S NOT YOU, EMIL.

THERE HAS TO BE A REASON.

EXCUSE ME, FRANCIS.
SAM ECKER'S ON THE LINE.

IT SEEMS MIDTOWN HAS CAUGHT
UP WITH FAY'S OBSCENE CALLER.

OH, THANKS, PHIL. ASK HIM
TO WAIT A MINUTE, WOULD YOU?

WILL DO. HOW GOES THE WAR, EMIL?

FEELIN' THE YEARS, PHIL. INDEED.

EACH PASSING ONE A SAD REMINDER
OF OPPORTUNITY LOST, PROGENY-WISE.

PHONE THE D.A.'s OFFICE, EMIL,
AND GET A SUBPOENA FOR McAURLEY.

OR WHAT? OR BE PREPARED
FOR A LOT OF PHONE CALLS.

BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T,
YOU KNOW I HAVE...

ONLY ONE OTHER ALTERNATIVE,
AND THAT'S TO GO PUBLIC.

THAT'S CRAZY.
THAT'S SUICIDE, FRANK.

YOU TAKE THIS OUTSIDE,
YOU'RE FINISHED. YOU KNOW THAT.

YOU GONNA CALL SWANSON OR DO I?

YEAH, SAM?

RIGHT. PHIL TOLD
ME. GREAT COLLAR.

YEAH, FAY'LL BE ENORMOUSLY...

RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN, SAM.

DO ME THE FAVOR, SAM,
AND JUST HOLD ON TO HIM.

I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.

UH, FRANK, YOU REMEMBER HARVEY.

FAY, THAT WAS ECKER.

HE TELLS ME YOU'RE RELUCTANT TO
PRESS CHARGES AGAINST THIS CREEP.

WELL, PERHAPS I CAN SHED SOME
LIGHT ON THE SUBJECT, FRANK.

OKAY, EITHER ONE OF
YOU, START TALKING.

THE FACT IS THAT WE'VE DECIDED NOT TO
PRESS CHARGES ON THE MAN THAT WAS ARRESTED.

WHAT THE HELL DOES
THAT MEAN, "WE"?

THIS MAN THAT YOU ARRESTED...

HAPPENS TO BE A
PATIENT OF MINE...

WHO EVIDENTLY
DEVELOPED SOME KIND...

OF AN AUDIO-LIBIDINAL
OBSESSION FOR FAY...

AS A RESULT OF HER
WORKING IN MY OFFICE FOR ME.

OUR PROSECUTION OF
HIM WOULD CONSTITUTE...

A SERIOUS BREACH OF THE
CONFIDENTIALITY DOCTRINE...

THAT IS IMPLICIT IN THE RELATIONSHIP
BETWEEN A DOCTOR AND HIS PATIENT...

DON'T TALK CONFIDENTIALITY
TO ME, DOCTOR.

YOU'RE A SHRINK AND I'M A COP,
AND NEITHER ONE OF US IS A LAWYER.

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY, FRANK,

IS THAT THE MAN IS
ESSENTIALLY HARMLESS.

THE MAN IS A DANGEROUS PSYCHO...

WHO BREACHED THE SECURITY
OF MY WIFE'S AND CHILD'S HOME!

IN THEIR ABSENCE, FRANK.

HE KNEW THAT THE HOUSE
WAS EMPTY. OH, REALLY?

WELL, MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO LOOK AT
SOME PHOTOGRAPHS OF MY WIFE'S BED...

AFTER THIS CRAZY
GOT HIS KICKS ON IT.

A BED, I UNDERSTAND, YOU'RE
MORE THAN PASSING FAMILIAR WITH.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S
GERMANE, FRANK. YOU DON'T?

WELL, THEN, PERHAPS
A TAPE RECORDING...

OF YOUR AUDIO-LIBIDINAL
SLIME BAG...

THREATENING TO TIE HER
UP WITH BUNGEE CORDS!

I REALIZE THE DISTRESS
THIS MAN HAS CAUSED.

I'M NOT MINIMIZING THAT
ASPECT OF THE SITUATION.

FRANK, SEE, HARVEY FEELS...

THAT IF WE PROSECUTE THIS MAN,

WE COULD SET HIS
THERAPY BACK TWO YEARS.

OH, REALLY!

A LOT OF GOOD IT'S
DONE HIM SO FAR!

YES?

AS SOON AS I CAN, DAVE. I
WANT YOU OVER HERE NOW!

LOOK, COMMANDER...

I WANT YOU HERE NOW, RIGHT AWAY!

YOU UNDERSTAND?
YEAH, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

I SAID I'D BE RIGHT THERE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I'M SORRY I LOST MY TEMPER.
UH, COULD WE TALK, FAY?

FOR JUST A MINUTE? ALONE?

HARVEY, WAIT OUTSIDE.

PLEASE? AS ALWAYS, FRANK.

FAY, I HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT...

ANY MAN WHO
COULD DO WHAT THIS...

ANIMAL... HAS DONE TO
YOU IS CAPABLE OF WORSE.

YOU'VE GOT TO PRESS CHARGES.

OH, I DON'T KNOW, FRANK.

I MEAN, HARVEY IS THE EXPERT,

AND HE FEELS THAT THE MAN'S
NOT LIKELY TO DO IT AGAIN.

THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I DON'T
WANT YOU TO TAKE THE CHANCE.

WELL, HE'S STAKING
HIS REPUTATION ON IT.

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT
HARVEY'S REPUTATION.

WHAT I DO CARE ABOUT IS
YOURS AND FRANK JR.'s SAFETY,

AND I WON'T TOLERATE
YOU BEING BLACKMAILED...

INTO DOING SOMETHING
YOU KNOW IS WRONG.

OH, THAT SORT OF JUDGMENT IS
VERY EASY FOR YOU, ISN'T IT, FRANK?

I MEAN, AFTER ALL, YOU'RE
OUT THERE, FREE AS A BIRD.

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT
HAVE TO DO WITH PRESSING

CHARGES AGAINST AN
OBSCENE PHONE CALLER?

I'M GOING TO BE 37
YEARS OLD, FRANK,

ONE OF THESE DAYS, AND
I'M JUST A LITTLE SCARED.

OH, FAY.

HOW MANY HARVEYS DO
YOU THINK ARE OUT THERE?

YOU'RE AN INTELLIGENT, ATTRACTIVE
WOMAN WITH A GREAT DEAL TO OFFER.

SURE, YOU SEE IT, I SEE IT,

BUT THE REST OF THE WORLD
SEES A MIDDLE-AGED LADY...

IN A LOW-PAYING JOB WITH
AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD KID...

AND A SWELL SET
OF STRETCH MARKS.

PLEASE, TAKE YOURSELF OVER
TO MIDTOWN AND FILE CHARGES.

YOU'LL SLEEP BETTER, FRANK JR.'LL
SLEEP BETTER, AND I'LL SLEEP BETTER.

AND IF YOU LOSE HARVEY OVER
THIS, WHICH, BY THE WAY, I DOUBT,

HE WASN'T WORTH HOLDING
ON TO IN THE FIRST PLACE.

OKAY? OKAY.

BUT IF I LOSE HIM OVER THIS,
YOU HAVE TO TAKE ME BACK.

WHAT? A MIDDLE-AGED
WOMAN WITH STRETCH MARKS?

OH, YOU!

OH, MICK, IT SEEMS WE'VE BEEN
JUST MISSING EACH OTHER ALL DAY.

DID YOU GET A CHANCE TO LOOK AT
MY TRANSFER REQUEST YET, CAPTAIN?

YEAH, I DID. I'LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR
OR SO. WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT, OKAY?

UH, MICK, YOU DON'T REALLY WANNA
MOVE DOWNTOWN TO NARCOTICS, DO YOU?

SURE. WHY NOT?

LOTS OF ACTION DOWN
THERE, LONG HOURS.

MOST OF THEM IN THE
DARK, WHICH I PREFER.

PLUS YOU GOT A BETTER
CHANCE OF GETTIN' KILLED.

NOT THAT IT'S GOT ANYTHING
TO DO WITH YOUR LEAVING,

'CAUSE IT'S GOT NOTHING TO
DO WITH THAT WHATSOEVER.

IS THERE SOMETHING ON
YOUR MIND, DOG DROOL?

COME ON! MOVE!

EVERYTHING I LAY MY HANDS
ON TURNS TO HUMAN DEFICIT...

RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES.

HOW COULD THEY TEAR
MY SALOONDROMAT DOWN?

THEY MUST'VE HAD
A CITY PERMIT, MAN.

I DON'T CARE!

I DON'T CARE, NEAL. I
JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE.

HEY, YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL, J.D.

WIN 'EM ALL? I WANNA WIN ONE!

I KNOW, BABE. I KNOW.

AH, THEY'VE FINALLY
DONE IT, MAN.

THEY HAVE FINALLY BROKEN ME.

OKAY, FRANK, WE'LL PUT THE
COUNSELOR ASIDE FOR THE MOMENT.

THE FACT IS, IF
YOU DO GO PUBLIC,

YOU'RE GONNA CREATE SOME SERIOUS
PROBLEMS FOR THE DEPARTMENT,

NOT TO MENTION WHAT IT'LL
DO TO YOUR COMMANDERSHIP.

OH, DAVE, MAYBE I SHOULD JUST
TAKE MYSELF OUT OF THE RUNNING.

I'M GONNA DO YOU A BIG FAVOR,
FRANK, AND FORGET YOU SAID THAT.

I'LL GIVE YOU SOME
TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT.

I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT
FOR THREE WEEKS, DAVE.

THREE WEEKS OF
BREAKFASTS WITH THE CHIEF,

DIVISIONAL BACKSLAPPING AND POLITICAL
CLUB SODAS WITH THE BOYS AT MADIGAN'S.

MAYBE IT'S A STUPID
CAREER MOVE. I DON'T KNOW.

BUT THE TRUTH IS, I'M
NOT SURE I WANT THAT JOB.

NOT IF IT MEANS GOING IN THERE
EVERY DAY WITH BLINDERS ON.

YOU'RE FORGETTING WHO PUT
YOUR NAME IN THE HAT, FRANK,

WHO'S BEEN POLITICKING
FOR YOU FOR MONTHS... ME!

I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT, DAVE,
AND I'D MAKE IT UP TO YOU IF I COULD.

YOU GO ALL THE WAY ON THIS, YOU'RE GONNA
SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN THE HILL.

YOU KNOW THAT. IT'S A
HELL OF A WASTE, FRANK.

I HATE TO SEE IT HAPPEN.

ARE YOU GONNA BRING
McAURLEY IN OR DO I?

YOU DON'T GIVE ME MUCH CHOICE.

I'M TELLING YOU. IF HE WOULD'VE
KEPT US ON THAT RIVAS MURDER,

WE COULD'VE GOTTEN INTO
HOMICIDE THROUGH THE BACK DOOR.

BUT NO. IF YOU'RE SO DAMNED
ANXIOUS TO BE WEARING A SUIT,

I COULD EASILY RECOMMEND
SOME BROKERAGE HOUSES, RENKO.

I JUST MIGHT TAKE YOU UP
ON THAT. WE'RE COPS, MAN!

I'M AWARE OF THAT. THE ONLY THING
THESE BLUES HAVE DONE FOR ME...

IS GIVE ME FREE COFFEE REFILLS
AND AN OCCASIONAL BULLET WOUND.

I'M SO TIRED OF WORKIN'
HERE AND NOT BEING...

SHUT UP! HORN BLOWERS.
I HATE THAT. BACK UP.

WOULD YOU RELAX?
JUST BACK UP. I HATE THAT!

SUSPECT VEHICLE IS LATE-MODEL,
YELLOW, FOUR-DOOR SEDAN.

LAST SEEN NORTHBOUND
ON DEKKER FROM LOCATION.

LATE-MODEL YELLOW FORD.
STAND BY FOR FURTHER ALERTS.

OH, LORD, JUST WHAT I
NEED TO SETTLE MY LUNCH.

OUT OF THE CAR WITH YOUR HANDS UP
IN THE AIR SO WE CAN SEE 'EM, RIGHT NOW!

DOESN'T LOOK LIKE NO WHITE BOY
TO ME... ARMED AND DANGEROUS.

ALL RIGHT, COMPADRE. JUST PUT
YOUR HANDS UP AGAINST THE CAR.

DON'T TALK. PUT YOUR
HANDS AGAINST THE CAR.

DO ME A FAVOR. WHAT
IS HE JABBERING ABOUT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S SAYING.

WOULD YOU SHUT UP, PLEASE?
SILENCIO, POR FAVOR! OH, MY GOODNESS!

SIR, I APOLOGIZE. WE'LL
PUT YOU IN THIS CAR...

AND GIVE YOU A POLICE ESCORT
DOWN TO ST. JOHN'S HOSPITAL.

POLICÍA "ESCORTO." WE'RE
NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

THE WOMAN'S GONNA HAVE A
BABY. THE WOMAN IS HAVING A BABY.

I'LL GO GET THE MEDICAL
KIT. WE DON'T HAVE ANY TIME.

JUST GET IN THE OTHER
SIDE... BOBBY, I CAN'T... UH-UH.

JUST GET IN THE OTHER SIDE AND
HOLD HER STILL. GET IN THE CAR.

OKAY, HOLD HER SHOULDERS.

HOLD HER SHOULDERS. IT'S
OKAY. IT'S OKAY. ALL RIGHT, MAMA.

- ARE WE OKAY?
- RELAX AND BE REAL QUIET NOW.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BREATHE
LIKE THIS, RIGHT? BREATHE DEEPLY.

SOMETHING LIKE THAT? THAT'S
GOOD. I WANT YOU TO PUSH.

PUSH. THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S GOOD. JUST LIKE THAT.

- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
- I'M GONNA TRY TO TURN
THE BABY'S SHOULDERS.

PUSH! PUSH!

YOU HOLD ON. DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT A
THING. JUST KEEP SAYING' YOUR PRAYERS.

PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!

I'M JUST GONNA TRY TO TURN
THE SHOULDERS. OH, MY LORD!

PUSH! OKAY, OKAY! HERE IT COMES!

REAL HARD! REAL
HARD! THERE IT GOES!

LOOK, IT'S A DUDE!
HI.IT'S A DUDE!'?

SEÑOR, SU HIJO.

OH, LOOK AT THIS. HOW
YOU DOIN', LITTLE FELLA?

YOU ALL RIGHT THERE, MAMA?

GOOD OF YOU TO BREAK
AWAY, COUNSELOR.

I'M A GOOD KID. WHAT'S GOING ON?

RODRIGUEZ IN THERE? THEY'RE
BRINGING HIM DOWN NOW.

UH, DO YOU MIND? I
THOUGHT YOU QUIT.

I WASN'T SMOKING IT. I WAS HOLDING
IT. WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

WE'RE GONNA MAKE AN HONEST
FELON OUT OF NEMO RODRIGUEZ.

SPEAKING OF WHOM.

I'LL BE RIGHT IN, NEMO.

ASIDE FROM HATING MY GUTS,
HE FIRED ME THIS MORNING.

HE THINKS A MALE PUBLIC DEFENDER
WOULD'VE BEEN MORE EFFECTIVE.

I'D WRITE IT OFF TO LATIN ATTITUDE
IF EVERY OTHER MALE DEFENDANT...

DIDN'T SHARE THAT FEELING
TO ONE DEGREE OR ANOTHER.

I'M SORRY. YOU WERE SAYING?

I JUST DID HALF AN HOUR WITH
SWANSON. IT'S WHAT WE THOUGHT.

THEN THE COUNCILMAN WAS
THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED?

YEP. AND SWANSON'LL
TESTIFY TO THAT?

HE DOESN'T HAVE TO. McAURLEY'S
COMING IN VOLUNTARILY.

WITH THE DEPARTMENT BAILING
OUT, HE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH CHOICE.

- WHAT ABOUT YOU?
- WHAT ABOUT ME?

WHAT'D IT COST YOU, FURILLO?

SEE YA, DAVENPORT.

McAURLEY WAS SLAPPING THE GIRL AROUND,
AND THE KID AIMED AT HIM AND HIT HER.

SIMPLE AS THAT... LOUSY
AIM WITH A LOUSY GUN.

AND WHO TOOK THE
JEWELRY? THE AUNT, RIGHT?

YEAH. SHE SQUIRRELED
IT AWAY SOMEPLACE...

WAITING FOR IT TO COOL OFF.

LIFE ON THE HILL, HUH, FRANK?

YOU DID KNOW THIS FROM
DAY ONE. NOT ALL OF IT.

THEY TOLD ME JUST WHAT THEY
THOUGHT I NEEDED TO KNOW.

WHO'S "THEY" S
NOT PLAY THAT GAM.

I'M VERY SORRY, FRANK. I'M SORRIER
ABOUT THIS THAN I THINK YOU KNOW.

WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT IT
WOULD MUSHROOM LIKE THIS?

I STILL HAVE TO KNOW
WHY, EMIL. WHY YOU?

YOU'VE BEEN THE BEST
GOING FOR 30 YEARS.

WHATEVER THE HELL THAT MEANS.

PLEASE, EMIL, WHY?
WHO'D YOU OWE?

A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, I HAD
A LITTLE HEART PROBLEM, FRANK.

AH, HELL, I GOT A
BAD HEART, FRANK.

I WOULDN'T BE HERE TODAY...

IF CERTAIN PEOPLE HADN'T
BEEN LOOKING THE OTHER WAY.

GOOD PEOPLE! GOOD SOLID PEOPLE.

WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?
McAURLEY DIDN'T KILL ANYBODY.

BECAUSE HE GOT INVOLVED IN
SOME KINKY 15-YEAR-OLD ACTION?

THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM. YOU
DON'T SAY NO BECAUSE OF THAT.

NOT AFTER WHAT THEY DONE FOR ME.

OH, EMIL, THAT'S NOT
NEARLY GOOD ENOUGH.

NOT AFTER WHAT YOU DID
TO THAT KID BACK THERE.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S
GOOD ENOUGH, HUH, FRANK?

WHAT ARE YOU, 39, 40?

I'M 55 YEARS OLD, FRANK.

ALL I KNOW IS BEING A COP.

THAT'S ALL I'VE
BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE.

TAKE THAT AWAY FROM
ME, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

SIT ON A PARK BENCH
FEEDIN' THE DUCKS?

THAT FAVOR GAVE ME
THREE MORE YEARS, FRANK,

SO DON'T YOU SAY THAT
IT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH,

'CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW.

SEE YOU AROUND,
EMIL. I'M SORRY, FRANK.

I NEVER MEANT FOR IT
TO HURT YOU, BELIEVE ME.

I KNOW.

WOULD YOU TELL MR. FITZGERALD I'D LIKE
TO BE THERE WHEN MR. McAURLEY COMES IN?

I'LL HOLD.

IT'S GONNA BE OKAY, KID.

I DON'T CARE. WHO CARES, HUH?

YOU'D BE SURPRISED.

HILL STREET STATION.

YES, WOULD YOU HOLD, PLEASE?

ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN.

HERE, HERE AND, UH, HERE.

YOU'LL DEPLOY YOUR SQUADS
AND GO BUILDING TO BUILDING.

THE RAIN IS ON OUR
SIDE COVER-WISE.

UH, WEBSTER, IXNAY.

- WHAT? IX... IXNAY...
- EXCUSE ME.

DISEMBOWELMENT, MAN. JUDAS, I THOUGHT
YOU UNDERSTOOD THE ORIENTAL MIND.

HARA-KARI IS A WAY OF
LIFE OVER THERE. YES, SIR.

NOW, THEN, WE WILL MOVE
SQUAD NUMBER THREE INTO...

WAIT A MINUTE. THIS IS
THE DEKKER AVENUE...

HOWARD, WOULD YOU MIND
TELLING ME WHAT'S GOING

ON? WHAT'S WITH THE
ARMORED VANS OUT THERE?

THERE MUST BE A HUNDRED MEN OUT
THERE. LET'S TRY NOT TO PANIC, FRANK.

IF YOU HAD BOTHERED TO
COUNT, YOU WOULD FIND...

THAT THERE ARE NINE
SQUADS, WHICH IS 90 MEN.

THAT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN
THE WORLD. WHAT'S GOING ON, HOWARD?

IT'S LOCK-AND-LOAD TIME, FRANK.

WE ARE LAUNCHING A MAJOR
OFFENSIVE ON SNIPER ALLEY.

THEY'VE GOT THE PANDA.
IF YOU HAD BEEN HERE,

YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT THOSE
SOCIOPATHIC LITTLE COCKROACHES...

HAVE JUST CALLED WITH A
RANSOM DEMAND ONE HOUR AGO.

AND IF YOU HAD BEEN LISTENING
TO YOUR POLICE BAND, HOWARD,

INSTEAD OF LAUNCHING
AN OFFENSIVE,

YOU'D KNOW THAT THEY FOUND
YOUR TANK AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO.

WHERE? IN THE EAST RIVER.

THE EAST RIVER?

- STRIPPED.
- STRIPPED?

AND GUTTED.

HEY!

CONGRATULATIONS.

I SEE NEWS TRAVELS FAST.
WELL, GOOD NEWS, FRANCIS.

FOR US ANYWAY. I
HOPE FOR YOU TOO.

OH. I APPRECIATE THE THOUGHT.

IS BELKER HERE? HE WANTED
TO TALK TO ME, DIDN'T HE, PHIL?

HE'S DOWNSTAIRS, CAPTAIN,
SLEEPING LIKE A BABY.

OH. THANKS.

WELL, WHAT SAY WE HIT IT?

WE'VE GOT AN HOUR
ON THE CLOCK YET.

- MM-HMM. ALL RIGHT.
- SUCH A RELIEF.

UH, RAY, I'M REALLY
SORRY FOR YOUR SAKE.

I KNOW YOU WOULD'VE
GOTTEN THE CAPTAINCY.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, FRANK. I
DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE IN HELL.

THANKS ANYWAY.

HE WAS A... A VERY
GIVING PERSON, MARV.

YEAH, HE GAVE AND GAVE AND GAVE.

BOY, COULD HE GIVE.

THIS YOURS, HENRY?

YEAH.

YOU MIND JUST, UH...
PUT IT ON MY DESK.

OKAY?

LEO, J.D. THINKS...

WE NEED TO CALL AN EMERGENCY
STOCKHOLDERS' MEETING.

TAXI! OVER HERE!

SORRY I'M LATE. HI.

I HAD SOME LAST-MINUTE
PHONE CALLS AT THE OFFICE.

OH, YEAH, I'LL BET YOU DID.

IT'S ALREADY MADE THE PAPERS.

IT'S CURIOUS, ISN'T IT?
McAURLEY AND I HAVE NEVER MET.

I'VE ONLY SEEN THE GUY ONCE
IN THAT TELEVISION BROADCAST.

YET, SOMEHOW, WE'VE MANAGED
TO DERAIL EACH OTHERS' LIVES.

REMINDS ME OF THE
ELEPHANT AND THE ANT JOKE.

THE WHAT? YOU KNOW,
THE ELEPHANT AND THE ANT...

SPEND THE NIGHT MAKING LOVE.

NOW, WAIT, WAIT.

AND THE NEXT MORNING, THE ANT WAKES
UP TO DISCOVER THE ELEPHANT HAS DIED.

"DAMN IT," SAYS THE ANT,

"ONE NIGHT OF PASSION, AND I SPEND
THE REST OF MY LIFE DIGGING A GRAVE."

OH, NO!

IT'S A GOOD THING WE'RE
BOTH STILL LAUGHING.