High Maintenance (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 3 - Voir Dire - full transcript

I've been a fool before.

Wouldn't like to get my love caught
in the slamming door

How about some information please

You're fucking killing it, girl!

- Get it! Yes!
- Straight up tell me do you really want

to love me forever

- Oh, yeah.
- When I'm caught in hit and run

Straight up now tell me is it gonna be
you and me together

Are you just having fun?

- Yeah, we are now, Beatrice!!
- Time

- Oh, can't come to the phone ri...
- Yo, shut the fuck up, and let me in!



When were you all going to tell me
this was fucking going down?

I'm up there listening to Beatrice
start a whole new genre and shit.

You could've came down at any point.
No one was stopping you.

Yeah, don't be mad at us, Kee Kee.

I ain't mad at you, I'm just saying,
like I would've liked to know.

Well now you know, you can chill.

Yo, do you think it's kind of weird
that Gemma brought her husband?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Hell yeah.

- Right!?
- Yeah, I mean,

he does not look like what I thought
he would. I mean Gemma is fucking hot.

No man, I just thought it was just
like jurors only.

- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?

He didn't do voir dire.

- That's weird and I don't get it.
- Dope!



- Dude, I'm going to miss this shit.
- What?

- You're going to miss jury duty?
- No. Nah, not me.

I don't know, I feel like a free man
right now.

Whatever, man.
I just liked hanging out with you guys.

- We like hanging out with you, too.
- Oh, thanks guys.

Yo where should we ash this joint?

- In the cup, in the cup.
- We don't want to get in your car.

My bad. I mean, when the fuck did you
even get this car, bro?

- For my birthday.
- It's your birthday!

- Happy birthday!
- Thank you, man.

- I already told you happy birthday.
- Thank you.

That's crazy, your parents gave you
this fucking car.

- Oh, shit, I don't want to...
- I want to see pictures of your house.

You know it's nice.
We know you got this car from your...

Oh, shit! Oh, shit!

- Shit. Oh, my god. Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

Maybe you should sit on the corner
and just...

- I'm good man.
- Are you sure?

- I'm fine.
- You might be in shock.

- Fuck man.
- She was like wearing a green vest too.

- Yeah, she seemed okay though.
- You didn't see her?

- I didn't see her. Is your car, okay?
- Damn.

- Yeah, it's fine. It's fine, bro.
- Okay, I'll be up in a moment.

- I just got to take a walk. Yeah.
- Yeah?

- All right.
- Okay, see you.

- All right, let's go.
- Yeah.

Damn, man that shit was crazy.

- On a positive note look what I got.
- What's that? Sonia's phone.

No! You're childish for that though.

"Please do not offer Liza
any big snacks,

- like ice cream, or slices of pizza."
- Bro, this is the boring stuff.

"She does not need them
and will never say no to them.

If she says she's starving, she can have
a Lärabar, a dairy-free yogurt,

- or a Bjornqorn at home."
- What the fuck is a Bjornqorn?

"Her gym teacher is already commenting
on her chubby stomach..."

- Do you want me to show...
- Hey! Hold on.

"And I don't want to give her any food
slash body issues,

but she doesn't do much exercise
and is not exactly skinny,

so she definitely does not need
all those in-between-meal snacks."

- All right we get it. She's fucked up.
- That's fucked up.

- Her daughter's skinny, I've seen her...
- Oh, no, okay. Look, wait.

This is the good shit ready,
I'm going to show you.

- She talked mad trash about us.
- About us?

- Yeah, about us. I need to find...
- Sup! The party's out here, I see.

It's in there.

I'm glad you stayed. I was disappointed
when I thought you left.

Okay.

- It wasn't a rock
- It was a rock lobster rock lobster.

- What?
- Rock Lobster!

- Yes!
- Rock Lobster!

What the hell are you doing?

- You're going to get us kicked out.
- No, no you can't smoke in here, honey!

- Oh, my god.
- My bad.

- He moves.
- He moves that talking head.

Yeah, let's move. You got it.
Oh, yeah.

Okay this is weird. Okay let's do it.
All back and forth.

- Sorry. My bad.
- What the fuck!

- I pressed the wrong button. Sorry.
- Seriously?

You remind me of a girl that I once knew

See her face whenever I look at you

This kiss this kiss

Unsinkable this kiss this kiss

- Yeah!
- Yes, I love it!

- I'm going to sing "My Way".
- Oh, Newman, you dog.

You know you can't sing "My Way"
in the Philippines. It's illegal.

- Because people got killed.
- You're kidding.

Yeah. Apparently, there are these gang
that would go around killing people

who sang it poorly, and it got bad
enough that they had to make it illegal.

So yeah. No, "My Way" in karaoke.

- I gave myself in that misty light
- You learn something new every day.

- The "My Way" killings.
- Was hypnotized by a strange delight

Under a lilac tree

I made wine from the lilac tree

Put my heart in its recipe

It makes me see what I want to see

Be what I want to be

When I think more than I ought to think

I do things I never should do

I drink much more that I ought to drink

Because...

It brings me back you

Lilac wine

is sweet and heady

Like my love

Lilac wine

Here's some cash from the bearded guy.
Who's is this?

That was Anthony's.
He had the vodka tonics.

Yeah, he had to bounce, but this is his
and this is mine.

Oh, my god, your voice.
You should be doing this professionally.

Thank you! Thank you.
I actually, I do sometimes.

- Really? I didn't know that.
- Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah.
- Oh, my god, you're so good!

- Thank you I really appreciate that.
- You're really really good, like really.

Thank you! Thank you! Here's mine.

- How much more do we need?
- Hey, you were really good.

- Oh, thanks, man.
- Really.

- We still need three-thirty.
- Oh, shit.

- No no, I can cover it.
- Are you sure?

- Yeah, sure. No worries.
- Has anyone seen my phone?

- All right.
- Phone? Phone?

I hope you guys have a great night!
Stay safe, yo.

A phone. Oh, shit! Is this, is this it?
Is this right, is it this one?

- Yes! Thank you.
- Oh, shit, cool.

- Thank you.
- Yeah, no problem. I got you, of course.

- You going over the bridge?
- Yeah. I'm going to come with you guys.

- If you don't mind.
- Come on, okay.

- Bye everybody! Bye everybody!
- See yah!

- Bye!
- Group 4!

- Group 4!
- Yes!

- Hey, you want a ride?
- Yeah, yeah, I just need to go pee

and then I'll meet you outside?

Really? I know, she's been drinking
wheat beer all night.

Celiac my ass, I...

If she really had Celiac, she'd be
in the bathroom every ten minutes.

Bro we literally just gave you a stack
of cash. Just go to the back and check.

- I swear... we literally just...
- What's going on?

- They're trying to say we didn't pay.
- Oh, what?

That Australian fuck put in all the rest
of the money!

- I fucking know, dude, go ask them!
- We all saw the money!

Yeah, we saw... Oh, dude, that guy.
That guy was in the fucking room.

Bro, can you just tell him
that we paid. Just tell him.

- What's going on? How do we even?
- I want to go fuck, dude, I don't know.

- I don't understand how this... No.
- They took money.

- Yo, no.
- Are you kidding me, bro?

- You know that's a lie. Just talk to...
- They were smoking marijuana.

- Yo! Oh, my god!
- Okay, okay. Thank you, thank you.

I can barely afford my rent.
This so fucked up.

- I don't understand what's happening.
- The cops are coming.

- Run! Run!
- Go, front door. Go, front door!

I'll go to the back.

- Come on! This place is like a maze.
- Go, go, go.

- Shit!
- Move, move!

I swear to god
I'm going to fucking make you move!

- Fuck!
- Shit!

- Shit where are we?
- Your car!

Fuck, go, go, go. Shit.

- Oh, fuck, the keys are in the jacket!
- Are you fucking kidding me?

Fuck, go go! Just keep going!
Fucking go.

Go, go, go. Oh, motherfucker.
What the fuck. Hey, dude, let go.

Let the fuck...
Can you let go, motherfucker?

- Get the fuck out of here, bro!
- Roman, don't hurt him! Let's go!

- Shit. Go, go!
- There's a cab let's get it.

Hi, how you doing? We're going to the
Bronx actually 238 and... Oh, shit fuck.

- Go. Just drive.
- Don't take them, they took money!

No he's lying.
We didn't take anything, we swear.

- Get out of my car.
- That guy's insane. Get us away he's...

- Get out of my car.
- Are you fucking kidding me? Let's go.

- Go. Go. Go.
- Just go.

- Run, Forrest!
- What? I don't know.

Does no one love you, bro?
Is that what's up?

Seriously, man, what the fuck
is your problem?

What's my problem?
What the fuck's your problem?

I don't have a fucking problem, bro.
You're the one with the problem.

You're chasing fucking innocent people
all over the city.

All right, dude, look, I know that shit
is not getting service here, okay.

You don't want to do this all night,
right? Like is this a date?

Like a romantic night we're having.
You want to hold hands?

- Bro, don't you have a wife and kids
- Are you free?

- to go home to or something?
- We can do this all night, man.

Hey, what the fuck? Hey.

- Hey, hey, I'm here.
- Finally!

- Sorry!
- We got to hurry, for real!

- I know. I'm going as fast as possible.
- No, you're fine.

As long as we're out of the door in,
like, ten minutes.

Ten minutes!? The G was so fucked.
And I had to buy these fucking shoes,

and my phone died on the train.
Yeah, so you don't even care.

Wow, great. You got a pedicure.

- That's awesome.
- Not for this!

- We've got to go, for real!
- Okay, for real, I'm hurrying.

- You cannot take a shower!
- What?! I fucking stoink.

- You don't want it, it's bad.
- Well someone is going to love that.

Who's going to love that?
And what am I wearing tonight?

I laid this out for you, remember?
Come on.

Hi, Tess! Sorry I didn't put
the bed away, I know.

But I'm going to take care
of it, though.

What's her fucking problem?
God, damn.

I really hope this one guy isn't there

- but of course he totally will be.
- Who?

I don't know, this very tragic,
very red, Guy Fieri-esque like dude.

But just only like, as a style
reference, because he's so shy.

- Is he nice?
- I don't know. I feel bad for him.

His breath, I can't...
It's very like:

"Has Hillary Hopkins had her honeymoon?"

Nasty.

This is it? I'm going to tell you
something right now...

- We should go in though.
- Rachel Zimmerman's mitzvah was here,

- and she nailed the haftarah.
- Oh, I'm dead.

- Oh, you should put your shoes on.
- Oh, okay.

Hi, is it too early to order a drink?

Oh, fuck. I should have smelled
these before, they smell like shit.

- Well someone's going to...
- Don't say someone's going to love it.

- Someone will!
- Hi, Cherry!

- Oh, by the way, I go by "Cherry" here.
- Are you fucking serious?

Hey, Gemma! Hey, how are you!?

- I've been in jury duty for ten years.
- Oh, god that sounds...

Don't wait for me, it's fine.
I'll just... okay, okay.

I'm going in. Okay.

- Hey!
- Hi! Oh, I recognize you!

You are so much taller in person.
You're gorgeous!

Thank you so much. I never hear that,
that I'm taller in person.

- Cherry pie!
- Oscar.

- You look bloody amazing.
- Doesn't she?

Now I'm just sad I didn't get the chance
to interview you personally.

And you...

Okay, okay.
We're going to have a fun night, right?

- Yes!
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm so excited!

- Having a good time?
- Yes!

You are smelling very very good today.

No, no, no.

- Oh, my god, hey!
- Hi!

I kind of want to go.

- I will see you around.
- Yeah!

- Freddie Giordano-Roth?
- Excuse me, what?

- Oh, my god.
- Oh, my god! Eddie!

- Yeah. Hey.
- Hi, wow!

How are you? How's your mom?

I don't talk to her anymore.

- Well, you look the exact same.
- I hope not!

I dated Freddie's mom from 1998 to 2003.

Well, 2004. January of 2004.

Memory on you, whoa, that's insane.

- I don't know that I'd call it insane.
- I don't mean like insane.

- I'm just saying crazy scenario.
- Yeah, I guess this is kind of crazy.

- Wouldn't you say, Eddie?
- Wow. I'm sorry. I'm just blown away.

- This is your roommate Freddie.
- Yes.

Holy shit!

- The world is really so small.
- Yeah.

Is Eddie the one who used to cut
the squares out of the carpet

when the dog used to shit in the house?

No, that was the guy who helped my mom
set the house on fire.

Eddie proposed to my mom twice.
He's that one.

- Also! He used to drive with two feet!
- Cool. That's entirely fooked, mate.

Almost as fooked as me friend getting
her toes sucked by me "almost dad"!

Many times, mate. Hate to say it!

- Many times? Really!?
- I told you that.

I don't know, I think I just liked him,
because our names rhymed.

Oh, shit, he texted me.

- He has your number?
- Oh, like, we've hung out before.

You've hung out before. You've hung
out before. You've hung out?

With him before?

Don't look at me like that!
I needed the money!

I needed the money.

Okay he's asking me if "Freddie and I
would be interested..."

"I have a way for you to make
some extra cash."

"I'm leaving town and am in desperate
need for a cat slash plant sitter."

I'm thinking about you fucking him,
I'm sorry.

Well, he'd obviously pay us!

And he's just saying like feed the cat

and he has a special orchid
that needs misting.

That's right, he does have a lot
of plants at his house.

You've been to his house.

I'm just gonna say we're going to do it,
because he's gone for like two weeks.

- Wait, we're going to stay at his house?
- Yes, stupid!

This is like a really crazy bathroom.

You can really have all your friends
in here with you.

- Yeah. It's like a locker room in there.
- Yeah.

I really want to try one
of those urinals.

I have before,
and it went all over the place.

Yeah, it's crazy you spent
your childhood here, man.

Only a few years,
and most of it was spent

in the corner murdering Sims
in the pool.

Murder. Love those pajamas!

- Thanks, they're Eddie's.
- I figured.

Thank you for the introduction
to Halls again.

- My god, take as many as you want.
- Of course.

Remember that commercial
where he's like...

My throat, yeah.

- All right, see you later! Bye-bye.
- Bye!

- Thank you!
- Yeah, thank you!

- In a year, Kelly consumes...
- I suck at rolling joints.

...18,000 pounds of potatoes.

Twenty three times more
than the average American.

Because of her aversion to other foods,
Kelly even eats...

Hey, would you want to watch like
Leaving Neverland with me?

I've really always wanted to watch it

and just like never been
in the right head space.

Yes.

Why did we do that?

I'd be down to do
the Oprah special, though.

There's no fucking way in hell
I'm doing that Oprah special.

Like I need like a Queer Eye
or something.

You don't want to delve right in?
I feel like it's fresh still.

No.

- I can't believe you already slept here.
- Oh, yeah, someday you'll get over it.

I'm done.

I feel sick. Jeez.

- I want to try.
- Go for it.

Look at me. Is this cool? Oh, fuck.

- Black box. Under the bed.
- Okay, I'm listening.

- Oh, photos, shit.
- There's Portugal 2016.

Writing on a napkin, he's artsy.

All alone.

- Okay, snoozing. Next.
- There's nothing of interest, okay.

Shit. Luca 2020.

- This is not looking so good.
- I know, I don't like this.

- Do you think we're dealing with a pedo.
- A pedo.

- Do you think?
- Honestly, I truly can't tell you.

- I am so warped from this day.
- Look at this kid's... I'm sorry.

I'll never look at a kid's photo
the same ever again.

You should look at this one where
the kid's legs are spread wide open,

and he's sitting with the man's
whose house we're in.

I mean maybe that's normal,
I have no idea.

I've never been close to a kid
as an adult.

There's more from his baptism.

- Eddie has sisters. I forgot.
- Right.

- So Luca is his nephew.
- Yeah, definitely.

Here's a woman with Luca.

You know what they say.

- People love to fuck their nephews!
- It's true.

Maybe we're the perverts for thinking
this is perverted.

- You're missing company retreat!
- No that's all you.

Fuck, that movie's got me twisted.

I'm actually so good at this.

Maybe not.

- Hey, so...
- Wait, what is that?

Come here.

I thought that all of these were gone,
in the fire.

- No.
- Like, I've never seen these before.

Oh, a baby picture of you.
You're so sweet.

You and that dog.

You still make that face.

I'm really, really sorry,
but I have really bad dry mouth

- I really need a glass of water.
- Yeah, yeah, go.

- Do you want one? Okay.
- No.

I can't believe I've been fucking
on top of your baby pictures.

Oh, my god, Freddie!
You have to come here.

- Please.
- What?

No, just come here now.

I'm coming.

What? What's going on? What is it?

What?

I'm coming.

Oh, what the fuck?

Do you remember when I had to take an
uber home because someone took my shoes.

My Margielas!

Oh, my god, he loves feet.

- I know.
- He loves them!

- Holy shit, I like these.
- Those are cute.

And they're my size
and now they're mine!

Oh my god, did you not see these here?

A clown boots. My dude, it's a tap!

It's a tapping tap... Oh, fuck!

Oh, my god!

Hello. Thank you for being here today

to participate in the work
of the New York state courts.

Your jury duty may be the most important
civic role you perform,

outside of the voting booths, as a
participant in this great democracy.

And by the way, I think you'll find
it a fascinating experience.

Here in the New York,
with our system of checks and balances,

it's the responsibility of the state
as represented by the prosecution

to present the evidence against
any person accused of a criminal act.

It's the work of the grand jury,
you people sitting right here today,

to review that evidence and determine

whether that accusation
is legally justified.

The presentations you'll hear
from an assistant district attorney

may include homicide, robbery,
grand larceny, narcotics crimes,

possession of stolen property, rape,
sodomy, assault, arson,

kidnapping, burglary,
possession of weapons.

Practically the whole spectrum
of the criminal law.

If any of us found ourselves accused
of a felony, we would hope

to have an engaged, fair, and impartial
grand jury of New Yorkers, like you,

reviewing the prosecutor's evidence
against us.

As grand jurors, you are now part
of the criminal justice system.

Your mission is twofold.

On one hand, to use your power
as grand jurors to investigate crimes,

to hand up an indictment when sufficient
evidence exists to do so.

On the other, when the evidence
is insufficient, to protect people

from an unfounded criminal accusation
by not handing up an indictment.

We could not preserve the rights of both
defendants and victims in our system,

protect public safety

and ensure that police and prosecutors
meet their obligations

without the participation
of jurors like you.

Thank you for your participation
in the pursuit of justice.