Hey Arnold! (1996–2004): Season 1, Episode 8 - The List/Haunted Train - full transcript
Arnold's best laid plans for the "ultimate Saturday" go up in smoke when he tries to complete all of his favorite things to do in one afternoon. On a boring summer night Grandpa tries to liven things up by telling a story about haunted Train Number 25.
MAN: Here we go.
HELGA: Arnold.
(YOWLING)
(BARKING)
Hey, Arnold!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(CRASHING)
(SCREAMS)
Hey, Arnold!
Arnold.
Arnold.
(SIREN WAILING)
Arnold.
Arnold.
Move it, football head!
ALL: Hey, Arnold!
(TICKING)
(SIGHS)
(BELL RINGING)
(CHILDREN CHEERING)
ARNOLD: Finally, the weekend.
GERALD: Man, I thought
it would never get here.
Boy, howdy, I'm gonna spend
the whole Saturday morning
watching cartoons.
Yeah, well, I'm going to
the park to play catch.
(ALL AGREEING)
What are you doing, Arnold?
I'm doing it all.
Huh?
What are you talking?
I'm doing it all.
Everything on...The List.
(ALL GASP)
Yup. The List for
a kid's perfect Saturday.
The List?
You're crazy, man.
No one's ever done
the whole list before.
The List has been
handed down from
kid to kid for generations.
It contains all things
kids love to do on Saturday.
Behold the sacred document.
ALL: The List.
Read it, Gerald.
(ALL CHATTERING)
"The list for a kid's
perfect Saturday."
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
"Watch every cartoon
from 6:00 a.m.
till Dance Craze."
(CHEERING)
"While eating three bowls
of Sugar Chunk cereal."
(CHEERING)
"Ride your bike
down the steepest hill
in the neighborhood."
And you all know
which one that is.
(LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)
"Play catch with
every kid in the park.
"And finally, go to
the movies and
sit through it three times."
(CHEERING)
Here you go, Arnold.
Nobody's ever done
the entire list
on one Saturday.
Are you sure about this?
I mean, you're tempting
the fates, man.
I'm doing it,
the whole list.
I'm gonna have
the greatest Saturday
a kid ever had.
Tomorrow's gonna be
one of those days
that memories are made of.
(WIND WHOOSHING)
(WIND WHOOSHING)
(TRUCK HORN BLARING)
What?
Oh, no, I'm late!
Okay.
First thing on the list.
"Sugar Chunk cereal."
Grandpa, did you eat
all the cereal?
Huh? Well, heck no,
there's a whole other box.
(SIGHS) Well,
at least it's cereal.
(GRANDPA SNORING SOFTLY)
Either that milk's gone bad
or they've got a whole new way
to sell cottage cheese.
Well, better get to work
on that fuse box.
Okay. I got cartoons
from now till Dance Craze.
♪ The greatest mutant robots
From outer space
♪ Spinning... (GARBLED)
in your face! ♪
(EXPLODES)
(YELPS)
What? No!
Hmm. I think I got the 220
mixed up with the 660.
No problem.
I'll use the upstairs TV.
Good idea.
Except the power's out
in the whole house.
(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
GRANDMA: That's it, boys.
One more step and you got it.
Good, we've reached
the front door.
Hey, lady,
it ain't gonna fit.
Oh, come on.
Can't you turn it on
its side or something?
(MOVERS ARGUING)
GRANDMA: Hey,
don't you take that tone
with me, young man.
There must be some way
to get it in the house.
Come on, boys, let's think.
No, no, no. Let's take it
to the bottom of the stoop
and think a minute, shall we?
Let's see here...
"Play catch." Can do.
I'll go get my glove.
Hey, kid.
Uh...
Yeah, you.
Who?
You want to play catch?
Okay.
(GIGGLING)
Hey, come back here!
(LAUGHING)
ARNOLD: Get back here!
(PANTING)
Okay. So,
that didn't go so hot.
What's next here?
Take the hill, boys,
take the hill!
Don't be discouraged.
Come on, lady, face it.
You're never gettin' the piano
in this building.
I gotta get my bike
out of the garage.
Hey, relax, kid.
We're just out taking a break.
(PANTING)
The steepest hill
in the city.
(WIND WHOOSHING)
Look out below!
What's left here?
"Go to movie,
sit through it
three times." Easy.
One ticket, please.
Huh? Oh, no!
Please. Please, lady, listen.
I'm having the worst day
of my life, and I gotta
see this movie.
Please, I'll pay you back.
(WOMAN SCREAMING
IN MOVIE)
(WHISTLING)
WOMAN FROM MOVIE:
What's wrong, Dylan?
DYLAN: Oh, I don't know.
I'm having the worst day
of my life.
WOMAN: Oh, isn't there
anything I can do?
DYLAN: Well, you could
kiss me for starters.
Oh, I was waiting for you
to say something like that.
Yeah.
(AUDIENCE MUTTERING)
Your breath stinks.
(SLAPS)
(GROANS)
What'd you do that for?
(CRASHING)
WOMAN: Stop!
Don't come any closer.
(MONSTER GROWLS)
(MONSTER CONTINUES GROWLING)
WOMAN: What are
you doing? Stop!
No! Where are you going?
No! Where are you going?
(SCREAMS) No!
Don't come any closer!
No. No!
Help me! Help me!
(ARNOLD YELPS)
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
due to technical difficulties,
the theater
must cancel the rest
of today's screenings.
Good night.
Greatest Saturday
a kid ever had.
(SCOFFS) What a crock.
(PIANO PLAYING)
Grandma? What are you
doing up here?
Well, we couldn't get
the piano in the front door
or through the window,
so we're gonna have to keep it
up here on the roof.
That's terrible.
What? No, that's wonderful.
We're gonna have
a piano on the roof.
Come on, Arnold.
No, Grandma.
I had a really rotten day,
and I just wanna sit here
and relax and do nothing.
Rotten day?
Well, I've got just one thing
to say about that.
(STARTS PLAYING)
♪ When life gets you down
♪ Wearing a frown
Don't look away, look up
(ARNOLD SCOFFS)
♪ 'Cause memories true
Come out of the blue
♪ You know the way, look up
Come on, Arnold.
No, Grandma, I'm really
not in the mood.
♪ Well, skies are dark gray
Things gone astray
♪ Don't hide away, look up
Take it.
(SIGHS)
♪ I had a bad day
Nothing went right
I hate my dumb life
(CAR CRASHING)
♪ When you're feeling
Under the weather
♪ And the dark clouds
Are getting to you
(SIRENS WAILING)
♪ Make your troubles
light as a feather
♪ And soon you'll be seeing
♪ A bright patch of blue
♪ You gotta look up
♪ You gotta be strong
You gotta take things
As they come
♪ With everything new
That happens to you
♪ It's better when you
Look up ♪
Well, Arnold,
what do you say?
One more time, Grandma.
Arnold, you're a pip.
♪ When life gets you down
♪ Wearing a frown
Don't look away, look up
(ARNOLD PLAYING HARMONICA)
♪ 'Cause memories true
Come out of the blue
♪ You know the way, look up ♪
There you go!
You boys finished
playing checkers?
Yeah.
And Crazy Eights, Slapjack,
Go Fish, Old Maid,
every board game in the house,
and a crossword puzzle too.
We're bored, Grandpa.
Bored?
(TRAIN HORN BLARING)
(GRANDPA SIGHS)
Have I ever told you boys
about the time I worked
for the railroad...
and first heard the legend
of the haunted train?
BOTH: Huh? No.
Forty years ago, old engine 25
was heading for the station,
when the engineer
went mad and drove
his train off the tracks.
They never saw him
or the train again.
Some say he drove it
straight to, you know...
Midtown?
Downtown?
All the way downtown,
to the very most
southern point.
You mean...
That's right.
Wow. He drove all the way
to the South Pole?
No! He drove
the train straight down
to the fiery underworld.
Both: Wow.
GRANDPA: Every year,
on the anniversary
of its last ride,
Engine 25 comes back,
the mad engineer
at the throttle.
He's on his way
to the old train station
to pick up
unknowing passengers.
These unsuspecting passengers
are drawn on to the train
by a blinding white light.
It hypnotizes them.
Then, a strong smell
overpowers them.
Some say it smells
like rotten eggs.
But I'll tell you what it is.
It's the smell of...
Socks?
No. Fire and brimstone.
Then, they start to
hear a horrible
ear-splitting music.
It shrieks and moans
and sends a chill
through your heart.
It's not of this world.
It's inhuman.
After the music,
the train then enters...
the zone of darkness.
(CHILDREN GASP)
In the zone of darkness,
they can feel the heat
from the flames.
Then, the train comes
to a complete stop.
The doors open,
and they are greeted by
the red-hot demon himself.
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
(HELGA SIGHS)
You know
what tonight is, don't you?
It's the 40th anniversary.
I'd sure hate to be at
the old train station tonight.
(CHUCKLES)
The one on 53rd
past Livingston.
You know, next to
the tire shop there.
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
(CHUCKLES)
Well, so much for being bored.
You think the stories
are true, Gerald?
I mean, my grandpa
has been known
to stretch the truth.
I don't believe
a word of it.
I want physical evidence.
Infra-red photography,
ectoplasmic samples,
visible energy fields.
(GRUNTS)
Some things can't be proved
with scientific evidence.
It's a question of faith.
Hooey!
Well, I can understand
if you're...
scared.
Scared? I'm not scared.
Okay.
Then meet us tonight
at the old train station.
(GASPS) Huh?
One hour after
the street lights come on.
You're on!
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(BAT SQUEAKS)
Yep! No train, let's go.
Not so fast. We have to wait
longer than 30 seconds.
(TOLLING)
(ARNOLD PLAYING HARMONICA)
(GERALD SNAPPING FINGERS)
♪ They say he lost his mind
♪ Went crazy on that day
♪ And ran his train
Right off the tracks
♪ And drove it
Straight to... hey!
♪ Where's the engineer?
♪ Been waiting all night long
♪ Better show up soon
♪ Or Imma have to say
"so long"
(VOCALIZING)
♪ Been waiting on
The haunted train ♪
(EXCLAIMS IN FRUSTRATION)
That's it! I'm outta here.
This is ridiculous!
There is no haunted train,
there is no mad engineer!
And you two chuckleheads
are driving me nuts!
(TRAIN HORN BLARING
IN THE DISTANCE)
And stop playing
that harmonica!
I'm not playing
that harmonica.
(RUMBLING)
(TRAIN HORN BLARING)
ALL: Engine 25.
White light.
It pulled us on.
We're the victims of forces
we can't possibly comprehend.
(SNIFFS)
Ew! What's that smell?
She who smelt it,
dealt it.
It's not that smell, stupid.
Helga's right.
It's more like...
(SNIFFS)
Rotten eggs!
It smells like rotten eggs!
It's one of the signs.
(DISCORDANT POLKA
MUSIC PLAYING)
Do you hear what I hear?
You mean, that horrible
ear-splitting and possibly
inhuman music?
(SCREAMS)
We're all gonna die!
We're all gonna die!
I do believe in mad engineers!
I do believe
in haunted trains!
I do! I do!
Oh, why must I be cursed with
such an inquisitive nature?
Hey! The lights!
The zone of darkness.
Next stop is, you know...
GERALD:
Are you pointing down?
This is it!
I can feel the flames
of the dark underworld
blowing down the back
of my neck.
(SCREAMS) Huh?
ARNOLD: Brainy!
GERALD: What are you
doing here?
Uh, I don't know.
I see it!
I see the fire!
Wait! I've got an idea.
Ready, aim... Fire!
Hey! Oh! Hey, hey!
(MAN GROANS)
Hey! What did you
do that for?
What are you kids
doing here?
Nobody's allowed on this train
except the steel mill workers.
Steel mill? We're at
the steel mill?
Where did you think
you were?
This train isn't haunted?
Haunted?
Oh, no,
not that story again.
This train is
for relief workers.
What about the smell?
Girly, have you ever
smelled a steel mill?
It's the sulfur. Smells like
rotten eggs, don't it?
And the lights?
Lights, the lights in this car
are always going on and off.
But the music,
I've never heard
anything so horrible.
It was like torture.
I thought my eardrums
were going to explode.
Eh, well,
I suppose some people
don't appreciate the polka.
(PLAYS POLKA)
Okay? Does that
explain everything?
ALL: Yes.
Good. Now let's get you kids
on the right train home.
Jeez.
GRANDPA: A fire extinguisher
against the fires
of the underworld, eh?
(CHUCKLES)
Pretty good plan,
Short Man.
I think you
set us up, Grandpa.
Well, at least you
weren't bored, were ya?
There is no haunted train.
Well, now I didn't say that.
(BRAINY BREATHING HOARSELY)
♪ Sometimes late at night
♪ You can hear
The whistle wail
♪ With a spooky
screechy sound
♪ Like a wheel
gone off the rail
♪ And up in the smoky clouds
♪ You can almost recognize
♪ The ghost of
a crazy engineer
♪ With fiery cinder eyes
♪ I say, whoo-whoo!
♪ Can't you hear
the haunted train?
♪ Whoo-whoo!
♪ Waiting on a haunted train
♪ I'm gonna crash that engine
♪ You know
Only sticks and stones
♪ And old conductors'
bones remain
(VOCALIZING)
Yeah!
(CHUCKLES)
♪ Take me to the roundhouse ♪
HELGA: Arnold.
(YOWLING)
(BARKING)
Hey, Arnold!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(CRASHING)
(SCREAMS)
Hey, Arnold!
Arnold.
Arnold.
(SIREN WAILING)
Arnold.
Arnold.
Move it, football head!
ALL: Hey, Arnold!
(TICKING)
(SIGHS)
(BELL RINGING)
(CHILDREN CHEERING)
ARNOLD: Finally, the weekend.
GERALD: Man, I thought
it would never get here.
Boy, howdy, I'm gonna spend
the whole Saturday morning
watching cartoons.
Yeah, well, I'm going to
the park to play catch.
(ALL AGREEING)
What are you doing, Arnold?
I'm doing it all.
Huh?
What are you talking?
I'm doing it all.
Everything on...The List.
(ALL GASP)
Yup. The List for
a kid's perfect Saturday.
The List?
You're crazy, man.
No one's ever done
the whole list before.
The List has been
handed down from
kid to kid for generations.
It contains all things
kids love to do on Saturday.
Behold the sacred document.
ALL: The List.
Read it, Gerald.
(ALL CHATTERING)
"The list for a kid's
perfect Saturday."
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
"Watch every cartoon
from 6:00 a.m.
till Dance Craze."
(CHEERING)
"While eating three bowls
of Sugar Chunk cereal."
(CHEERING)
"Ride your bike
down the steepest hill
in the neighborhood."
And you all know
which one that is.
(LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)
"Play catch with
every kid in the park.
"And finally, go to
the movies and
sit through it three times."
(CHEERING)
Here you go, Arnold.
Nobody's ever done
the entire list
on one Saturday.
Are you sure about this?
I mean, you're tempting
the fates, man.
I'm doing it,
the whole list.
I'm gonna have
the greatest Saturday
a kid ever had.
Tomorrow's gonna be
one of those days
that memories are made of.
(WIND WHOOSHING)
(WIND WHOOSHING)
(TRUCK HORN BLARING)
What?
Oh, no, I'm late!
Okay.
First thing on the list.
"Sugar Chunk cereal."
Grandpa, did you eat
all the cereal?
Huh? Well, heck no,
there's a whole other box.
(SIGHS) Well,
at least it's cereal.
(GRANDPA SNORING SOFTLY)
Either that milk's gone bad
or they've got a whole new way
to sell cottage cheese.
Well, better get to work
on that fuse box.
Okay. I got cartoons
from now till Dance Craze.
♪ The greatest mutant robots
From outer space
♪ Spinning... (GARBLED)
in your face! ♪
(EXPLODES)
(YELPS)
What? No!
Hmm. I think I got the 220
mixed up with the 660.
No problem.
I'll use the upstairs TV.
Good idea.
Except the power's out
in the whole house.
(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
GRANDMA: That's it, boys.
One more step and you got it.
Good, we've reached
the front door.
Hey, lady,
it ain't gonna fit.
Oh, come on.
Can't you turn it on
its side or something?
(MOVERS ARGUING)
GRANDMA: Hey,
don't you take that tone
with me, young man.
There must be some way
to get it in the house.
Come on, boys, let's think.
No, no, no. Let's take it
to the bottom of the stoop
and think a minute, shall we?
Let's see here...
"Play catch." Can do.
I'll go get my glove.
Hey, kid.
Uh...
Yeah, you.
Who?
You want to play catch?
Okay.
(GIGGLING)
Hey, come back here!
(LAUGHING)
ARNOLD: Get back here!
(PANTING)
Okay. So,
that didn't go so hot.
What's next here?
Take the hill, boys,
take the hill!
Don't be discouraged.
Come on, lady, face it.
You're never gettin' the piano
in this building.
I gotta get my bike
out of the garage.
Hey, relax, kid.
We're just out taking a break.
(PANTING)
The steepest hill
in the city.
(WIND WHOOSHING)
Look out below!
What's left here?
"Go to movie,
sit through it
three times." Easy.
One ticket, please.
Huh? Oh, no!
Please. Please, lady, listen.
I'm having the worst day
of my life, and I gotta
see this movie.
Please, I'll pay you back.
(WOMAN SCREAMING
IN MOVIE)
(WHISTLING)
WOMAN FROM MOVIE:
What's wrong, Dylan?
DYLAN: Oh, I don't know.
I'm having the worst day
of my life.
WOMAN: Oh, isn't there
anything I can do?
DYLAN: Well, you could
kiss me for starters.
Oh, I was waiting for you
to say something like that.
Yeah.
(AUDIENCE MUTTERING)
Your breath stinks.
(SLAPS)
(GROANS)
What'd you do that for?
(CRASHING)
WOMAN: Stop!
Don't come any closer.
(MONSTER GROWLS)
(MONSTER CONTINUES GROWLING)
WOMAN: What are
you doing? Stop!
No! Where are you going?
No! Where are you going?
(SCREAMS) No!
Don't come any closer!
No. No!
Help me! Help me!
(ARNOLD YELPS)
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
due to technical difficulties,
the theater
must cancel the rest
of today's screenings.
Good night.
Greatest Saturday
a kid ever had.
(SCOFFS) What a crock.
(PIANO PLAYING)
Grandma? What are you
doing up here?
Well, we couldn't get
the piano in the front door
or through the window,
so we're gonna have to keep it
up here on the roof.
That's terrible.
What? No, that's wonderful.
We're gonna have
a piano on the roof.
Come on, Arnold.
No, Grandma.
I had a really rotten day,
and I just wanna sit here
and relax and do nothing.
Rotten day?
Well, I've got just one thing
to say about that.
(STARTS PLAYING)
♪ When life gets you down
♪ Wearing a frown
Don't look away, look up
(ARNOLD SCOFFS)
♪ 'Cause memories true
Come out of the blue
♪ You know the way, look up
Come on, Arnold.
No, Grandma, I'm really
not in the mood.
♪ Well, skies are dark gray
Things gone astray
♪ Don't hide away, look up
Take it.
(SIGHS)
♪ I had a bad day
Nothing went right
I hate my dumb life
(CAR CRASHING)
♪ When you're feeling
Under the weather
♪ And the dark clouds
Are getting to you
(SIRENS WAILING)
♪ Make your troubles
light as a feather
♪ And soon you'll be seeing
♪ A bright patch of blue
♪ You gotta look up
♪ You gotta be strong
You gotta take things
As they come
♪ With everything new
That happens to you
♪ It's better when you
Look up ♪
Well, Arnold,
what do you say?
One more time, Grandma.
Arnold, you're a pip.
♪ When life gets you down
♪ Wearing a frown
Don't look away, look up
(ARNOLD PLAYING HARMONICA)
♪ 'Cause memories true
Come out of the blue
♪ You know the way, look up ♪
There you go!
You boys finished
playing checkers?
Yeah.
And Crazy Eights, Slapjack,
Go Fish, Old Maid,
every board game in the house,
and a crossword puzzle too.
We're bored, Grandpa.
Bored?
(TRAIN HORN BLARING)
(GRANDPA SIGHS)
Have I ever told you boys
about the time I worked
for the railroad...
and first heard the legend
of the haunted train?
BOTH: Huh? No.
Forty years ago, old engine 25
was heading for the station,
when the engineer
went mad and drove
his train off the tracks.
They never saw him
or the train again.
Some say he drove it
straight to, you know...
Midtown?
Downtown?
All the way downtown,
to the very most
southern point.
You mean...
That's right.
Wow. He drove all the way
to the South Pole?
No! He drove
the train straight down
to the fiery underworld.
Both: Wow.
GRANDPA: Every year,
on the anniversary
of its last ride,
Engine 25 comes back,
the mad engineer
at the throttle.
He's on his way
to the old train station
to pick up
unknowing passengers.
These unsuspecting passengers
are drawn on to the train
by a blinding white light.
It hypnotizes them.
Then, a strong smell
overpowers them.
Some say it smells
like rotten eggs.
But I'll tell you what it is.
It's the smell of...
Socks?
No. Fire and brimstone.
Then, they start to
hear a horrible
ear-splitting music.
It shrieks and moans
and sends a chill
through your heart.
It's not of this world.
It's inhuman.
After the music,
the train then enters...
the zone of darkness.
(CHILDREN GASP)
In the zone of darkness,
they can feel the heat
from the flames.
Then, the train comes
to a complete stop.
The doors open,
and they are greeted by
the red-hot demon himself.
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
(HELGA SIGHS)
You know
what tonight is, don't you?
It's the 40th anniversary.
I'd sure hate to be at
the old train station tonight.
(CHUCKLES)
The one on 53rd
past Livingston.
You know, next to
the tire shop there.
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
(CHUCKLES)
Well, so much for being bored.
You think the stories
are true, Gerald?
I mean, my grandpa
has been known
to stretch the truth.
I don't believe
a word of it.
I want physical evidence.
Infra-red photography,
ectoplasmic samples,
visible energy fields.
(GRUNTS)
Some things can't be proved
with scientific evidence.
It's a question of faith.
Hooey!
Well, I can understand
if you're...
scared.
Scared? I'm not scared.
Okay.
Then meet us tonight
at the old train station.
(GASPS) Huh?
One hour after
the street lights come on.
You're on!
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(BAT SQUEAKS)
Yep! No train, let's go.
Not so fast. We have to wait
longer than 30 seconds.
(TOLLING)
(ARNOLD PLAYING HARMONICA)
(GERALD SNAPPING FINGERS)
♪ They say he lost his mind
♪ Went crazy on that day
♪ And ran his train
Right off the tracks
♪ And drove it
Straight to... hey!
♪ Where's the engineer?
♪ Been waiting all night long
♪ Better show up soon
♪ Or Imma have to say
"so long"
(VOCALIZING)
♪ Been waiting on
The haunted train ♪
(EXCLAIMS IN FRUSTRATION)
That's it! I'm outta here.
This is ridiculous!
There is no haunted train,
there is no mad engineer!
And you two chuckleheads
are driving me nuts!
(TRAIN HORN BLARING
IN THE DISTANCE)
And stop playing
that harmonica!
I'm not playing
that harmonica.
(RUMBLING)
(TRAIN HORN BLARING)
ALL: Engine 25.
White light.
It pulled us on.
We're the victims of forces
we can't possibly comprehend.
(SNIFFS)
Ew! What's that smell?
She who smelt it,
dealt it.
It's not that smell, stupid.
Helga's right.
It's more like...
(SNIFFS)
Rotten eggs!
It smells like rotten eggs!
It's one of the signs.
(DISCORDANT POLKA
MUSIC PLAYING)
Do you hear what I hear?
You mean, that horrible
ear-splitting and possibly
inhuman music?
(SCREAMS)
We're all gonna die!
We're all gonna die!
I do believe in mad engineers!
I do believe
in haunted trains!
I do! I do!
Oh, why must I be cursed with
such an inquisitive nature?
Hey! The lights!
The zone of darkness.
Next stop is, you know...
GERALD:
Are you pointing down?
This is it!
I can feel the flames
of the dark underworld
blowing down the back
of my neck.
(SCREAMS) Huh?
ARNOLD: Brainy!
GERALD: What are you
doing here?
Uh, I don't know.
I see it!
I see the fire!
Wait! I've got an idea.
Ready, aim... Fire!
Hey! Oh! Hey, hey!
(MAN GROANS)
Hey! What did you
do that for?
What are you kids
doing here?
Nobody's allowed on this train
except the steel mill workers.
Steel mill? We're at
the steel mill?
Where did you think
you were?
This train isn't haunted?
Haunted?
Oh, no,
not that story again.
This train is
for relief workers.
What about the smell?
Girly, have you ever
smelled a steel mill?
It's the sulfur. Smells like
rotten eggs, don't it?
And the lights?
Lights, the lights in this car
are always going on and off.
But the music,
I've never heard
anything so horrible.
It was like torture.
I thought my eardrums
were going to explode.
Eh, well,
I suppose some people
don't appreciate the polka.
(PLAYS POLKA)
Okay? Does that
explain everything?
ALL: Yes.
Good. Now let's get you kids
on the right train home.
Jeez.
GRANDPA: A fire extinguisher
against the fires
of the underworld, eh?
(CHUCKLES)
Pretty good plan,
Short Man.
I think you
set us up, Grandpa.
Well, at least you
weren't bored, were ya?
There is no haunted train.
Well, now I didn't say that.
(BRAINY BREATHING HOARSELY)
♪ Sometimes late at night
♪ You can hear
The whistle wail
♪ With a spooky
screechy sound
♪ Like a wheel
gone off the rail
♪ And up in the smoky clouds
♪ You can almost recognize
♪ The ghost of
a crazy engineer
♪ With fiery cinder eyes
♪ I say, whoo-whoo!
♪ Can't you hear
the haunted train?
♪ Whoo-whoo!
♪ Waiting on a haunted train
♪ I'm gonna crash that engine
♪ You know
Only sticks and stones
♪ And old conductors'
bones remain
(VOCALIZING)
Yeah!
(CHUCKLES)
♪ Take me to the roundhouse ♪