He's with Me (2013–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Couching It - full transcript

Eddie finds himself searching for more meaning with the support of a professional.

Man,
this couch is not as comfortable

as I thought it would be.

I mean

I see people on TV at
their therapist office.

They always look comfortable.

Yeah.

Yeah, probably not or else
they couldn't be there.

Couches look like you could
fall asleep on them, no problem.

I'm usually pretty
comfortable wherever I go,

I'm a fit-in kinda guy.

Didn't take any time at for
me to fit in on the force.



Didn't take any
time at all for my

to adjust to my promotion.

Yeah,
I just go with the flow really.

Fit in and flow.

Maybe if I sit up,

I mean I can see why
you want me to lie down

but I think sitting up
will work better for me.

I'm just gonna, yeah.

Yeah, that's better.

I feel more

alert.

More

prepared

for what, I don't know.



It's not like I think
you're gonna

come at me or I'm going to
have to escape or anything

but

Yeah, I mean I don't
feel trapped by anything.

I feel

feel good.

I like my job.

I love my wife.

I mean everybody loves her.

What's not to love,
she's very lovable.

She's a leader is what she is.

She's become sort of a guru

down at the yoga studio
where she teaches,

just very popular.

She's got this,

this boutique that sells
her original designs.

I mean she's totally awesome.

Awesome!

And the dog freaking adores
her and I mean he just rushes

right to her to the second
she walks through the door.

Kisses the dog hello
before she kisses me.

They are very close.

Probably sounds
like I'm jealous.

I'm not jealous at all.

Jesus, it totally
sounds like I'm jealous.

That dog does not like me.

I mean I know it
sounds ridiculous

but I have tried
to win him over.

Probably treated that dog
nicer than any living thing.

Still, nothing.

It's like Sergeant Kelly
down at the precinct.

He can be tough.

Make you feel like
you're not doing enough.

Like you're not
digging deep enough.

Like you're not following
your instincts enough.

Not that he'd tell ya.

He's actually
not very talkative.

Pisses me off.

Sometimes,
I can just yell at him,

What the fuck do
you want from me Kelly?

But I don't.

I just bite my lip.

Literally. I bite my
lip. It fucking hurts.

I have these callouses here now.

Actually

kinda feels like
they're healing.

Cause I decided to come here.

Not that that wasn't an
easy decision, believe me.

But I made it all on my own.

Didn't even talk
to Val about it.

That's my wife.

Not that she wouldn't have loved

fucking me coming
to see a therapist.

She would have been
supportive of that.

She's all about healing now.

I mean

she does help people
with that yoga shit.

And I'm proud of her.

She's at the studio or whatever
the hell you call it, a lot.

But

There's the dog.

And Teddy,

he's my best friend
I guess you'd say.

I guess I'm his.

Although there's Martin.

God.

He's a real piece
of fucking work.

Make you feel like
you're the stupidest

piece of shit on earth.

Although he is pretty smart
about a lot of stuff, I guess.

Dah, Jesus.

Martin,
why am I talking about him?

He's so nasty.

Nobody likes him. I mean he
doesn't have any friends,

besides Val and Teddy
as far as I know.

And the dog, fucking shit.

Doesn't want to
go outside with me

even if he has to take a dump.

But Uncle Marty comes
over and he's all excited.

I mean the thing about Martin is

he's tough.

I mean

I have said some terrible
things to him over the years

and he always come
right back at me.

Like we even laughed at
some of the same stuff.

I always pretend
like I have like

I need to keep a guy like
him and a guy like me

separate for everybody to know.

Stupid.

We're all just guys.

Shitty day.

I told Val I was going to go
hit golf balls at the park.

She must think I'm crazy
hitting balls in the rain.

I don't know why I didn't just
tell her I was coming here.

I mostly tell her
everything these days.

I guess I like that
it was a secret.

Sharing these things with
her might make me feel less

Less

Less... what I don't even
know what the hell am I

Less confident?

Less

Less happy?

Less

You know what my dad told me?

Shoot for the moon Eddie!
Get it all!

Man, he was so proud
of when I became a cop.

Took out a full-page
ad in the local paper

informing the entire
town that I was now

a New York City Police officer.

It's very cool.

And very embarrassing.

Never really been one to brag.

I can be boastful
a little bit but

never really brag.

I remember, in high school
I made the winning play

on our homecoming football game.

I just caught the
ball on the fly and

surprised everybody when I
scored the winning touchdown

out of nowhere.

I was just at the right
place and I acted.

I ran and ran and ran.

Sort of felt like
a hollow victory.

I mean life can be like
that sometimes, you know?

You're just in the right
place at the right time.

Like meeting Val
at that concert.

One minute, I'm spilling
my beer all over her

and the next thing,
we're living together.

Now the force

I tried for that.

I knew I wanted to be
a cop and I was proud.

You know not proud enough

for a full-page ad
in the paper but

I was happy.

I accomplished something.

Now it feels just

whatever.

You know like there's something
more that I need to do or

be or Jesus,
I sound like a freak.

God, sometimes I hate the
way I sound to myself.

You know in my head mostly.

Like sometimes I'll realize

that I feel a certain
way about something.

And then I'll hate
that I feel that way

and then I'll hate that I
can't change that I hate it.

Like, Ted's marrying
this really nice girl.

And I don't know why but
I don't feel good for him.

I mean, I'm not sure why.
I just don't.

I mean,
I am glad that I married Val.

I love her very much but
sometimes it's not so great.

Like sometimes it's
missing something, too.

Sometimes it
feels like it's just

there.

Is that normal?

Is any of this normal?

Who fucking cares?

Jesus.

Who the fuck knows
what normal is anyways?

I don't want to
be fucking normal.

Sounds boring.

I don't want to be boring.

I feel boring next to Val.

It's like she's this big,
beautiful kite.

This fucking kite,
high up in the sky

that everybody looks up at

and makes everybody feel better

and then there's me.

Fuck!

Now it sounds like
I don't like my wife.

This therapy shit is hard.

First, I sound like I'm boring.

And now I sound like an asshole.

I'm either boring
or I'm an asshole.

Val says breathing is good.
I've been trying to breath more.

Although I have no
idea what fucking good

it's going to do

besides keep us all alive.

But I do as I'm told mostly.

You know,
you gotta follow the rules.

And mostly, or else
everything gets fucked up.

You know I don't feel fucked up.

I don't even feel
depressed really.

It's just.

Feeling.

A lot of feeling.

Like now.

The other day, I was with
my partner in our car

and he let one rip.

It was like a toxic waste dump

in there for about five minutes.

And he's a pretty straight-laced
guy so it was a surprise.

You know

To him, too.

We were laughing
so freaking hard.

I thought I was going
to pee in my pants,

right then and there.

I mean

Laughing and laughing and just

rolling down the windows and
smacking each other's head and

Couldn't remember the last
time I laughed so hard,

I almost peed in my pants.

I've been trying to feel more

Lately

You know, especially
where Val is concerned

The other day I surprised
her at the boutique

and took her to Coney Island.

Man, I was so excited.

Sweetie

I totally appreciate the effort.

But after being on a subway
car with no air conditioning

and lots of horrible
smells for over an hour

just to get to Coney
Island to have it rain.

I think I just
want to go to bed.

It's kind of a bust.

I've been trying to be
more romantic lately, too

You know, I

cooked her this really romantic
dinner the other night.

Well, I tried too.

No.

Shit.

No.

Hey honey, surprise!

I'm almost done.
Just head upstairs and

slip into something comfortable.

Sometimes I think I
just need to lighten up.

I can think too much.

I bet people wouldn't think
that about me but it's true.

I can fucking think myself
into a very, small dark corner.

Sometimes, it can take
me a while to get out.

I need to figure out a quicker
way to get out of my own way.

I tried meditation once.

Did you not turn
your ringer off?

I thought I did.

I'll get it. I'm sorry sweetie.

I'm so sorry.

Are you O.K.?

Honey, let me get some ice.

Man. I cannot believe I've
been talking this whole time.

I'm just going to shut up now

and let you do whatever it is
that you do to your patients.

Not that you do
anything to your patients.

Although.

I have seen some
sick shit on TV.

You know, doctors and
teachers abusing people.

Even kids

Man

Anybody ever did anything
like that to my kid

I would become a vigilante.

Not that we have a kid.

We almost a kid.

Val has a false alarm.

We were just
getting use to the idea

when it turned out the
idea was just an idea.

Man I was so relieved.

I was terrified
at being a father.

Now I know why.

The fucking dog
doesn't even like me.

How would I handle a kid?

But, you know
sometimes like when it's

My dad calls me
or when it's Father's Day

or something like that

I wonder if I should
just cut the bull shit

and face that fear.

Not worry about

what I could do wrong or

whether or not the kid would
like me and just do it.

Wow.

I did not think I would
say something like that.

Fatherhood is
one of those things

that I was talking about before.

You know I hate it in spite
of not wanting to hate it

But now it seems like
it could be changing.

Could it be changing?

Things changed!

Man, you are good!

Maybe not. Maybe not.

I don't need to rethink things.

I mean if I can change
my mind about fatherhood

I could change my mind about

my wife or my job

or my friends or my
clothes or Duck Dynasty!

Maybe it is just stupid.

Aw Jesus, I really need to talk
to Val about all this shit.

I just don't know how.

I mean I don't want
to just sit her down

and be all serious and say,

honey, your husband's
whining about his life

but it's probably just okay

I mean there are real problems
out there in the world

And here I am pissing and
moaning because I don't feel.

Jesus Christ. When did I become
such a mound of sad sack?

You know I thought coming here
would make me feel stronger.

All I feel is weak and whiny.

This is the weakest
I've ever felt.

I mean it's a strong feeling.

Maybe that's a good thing.

Maybe that's a great thing.

I mean even if it's weakness,
right? It's a feeling!

You know sometimes, it helps
to write these things down.

Can help your thoughts
become more clear

and your emotions
will feel realer.

- Yeah, that is a...
- that is a good idea.

Could I borrow a piece of paper?

I'm going to write that down.

Thanks.

I am going to write down
all my feelings from now on.

That way, I'll know what
I felt and what it meant.

I don't know if
you feel this way

but I feel I had
a break-through.

I know I had a break-through.

Note to Eddie: You
married a break-through.

I do that sometimes.
I um, declare things.

It helps me. It makes me
feel like I know what I know.

Now I just need to work
on knowing what I feel.

And then it can
change and so can I.

Note to Eddie:

You can change.

Thank you very much.

I have learned a lot.

Can I keep this?

Sure.

Thanks.