Hello Tomorrow! (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - A Traveling Salesman Travels - full transcript

Hi, this is Joey Shorter with
Brightside Lunar Residences.

How can I be of assistance...

Imagine with me, Mrs. McKenna,

those zinnias stretching
skyward in reduced gravity.

What a sight.
- One minute, exactly.

Holographic
wallpaper? You got it.

Of course. I'll call you back.

You know, you feel like
family, Howard. You do.

Which is why I'm gonna get you the
very same deal I got my own ma.

No. Hold on one second, sir.

Shirl, chalk me up a
B-Plex. Lot B5, crater-view.



Herb, you come fry a ham steak
on my bare chest over here,

because I am just so hot, baby.

Ed, stop. I don't
have a ham steak.

God forbid, Jack, I disappoint
you with another one of these ads.

We might all end up rich.

Well, then we'll call it even on
you being dead wrong on the new kid.

Would you like a
strong coffee pot?

Hey, who wants to mop
this one up? Easy money.

Joey, you could take it.
- Yeah, I got it, Jack.

Hi, this is Joey Shorter with
Brightside Lunar Residences.

It's great that you heard
our ad on the radio.

It's too bad about our Volts, but
we'll shock 'em next time, right?

Okay. Patch me in, Shirl.

Careful, Herb. New kid's
coming for your lunch money.



Now, if you could
just give me...

I'm a guy who takes "No" for, "Let's
just keep talking until 'yes.'"

You've gotta be proud, Mrs. Shizlitski,
with your son in the lunar mines.

And what could make him happier

than his beloved ma being a quarter of
a million miles closer to him, right?

Hey Shirl, patch me in again.

I got another one.
It's a C-Plex, C12.

Welcome to second place, kid.

Where's Herb? Did he just hear
that and jump out the window?

You know what?
It's getting late.

Let's call it a night, stay
fresh for tomorrow's leads.

I'm all good to
keep going, Jack.

You stay that hungry, kid.

Desperation, a salesman's
greatest asset.

I am living proof of that.

This kid's got some
real dog in him.

He stole second place,
and all he wants is more.

Let's knock off and
run a victory lap.

Take this then.
That's all of it.

Great. You'll be thrilled to know
that you are now likely to be working

with the team's number two
top seller this evening.

I'll get you on the
first launch out.

Jesus, am I supposed
to read all this?

Technically, yes.

But time is your
most precious asset.

That's it.

You won't be
disappointed, ma'am.

The next quarterly launch is
scheduled in just a few quick months.

Months? No. That's not possible.

We're not talking about
a bus to Sun City, ma'am.

This is a state-of-the-art rocket
launch, scheduled quarterly,

as contractually specified.

So, I'll just go get this processed.
- No.

You don't understand!

I have to go now.

You're on the same great
schedule as all our customers.

But I also don't believe in impossible,
so I'll be Mr. Do-All-I-Can for you.

First thing tomorrow morning.

But... I have
nowhere else to go.

Can I help you with
transportation?

A man of your accomplishments
needs a drink in his hands.

One day on the
road to a lifetime.

Thanks, Jack.

Wow, this is really great.

You know, I sold one to my old
algebra teacher, Mr. Klein.

I was just thinking about him up there
one day, you know, looking down at us.

And it's all thanks to
me. Kinda. You know?

Wow, look at that.

Look at that.

Wow.
- Yeah, wow, that must be the 568.

I should've brought the whole
gang out here to see it.

That's one of ours?
- Yeah, I think so. Must be.

Oh, man, it'd be great to
see one up close one day.

Oh, kid, just you wait.

Okay. Yeah, I
should grab the bus.

It's getting pretty late
to be stopping by Mom.

Or, at this hour, I mean, we can
get you a room here for the night.

Yeah?

I mean, I don't really need...

You are way past the business
of what you need, kid.

It's time for what you deserve.

You know where this would
look a whole lot nicer?

On you, Shirley.

Kinda confetti-strewn, little
to no other garments, or...

Am I getting ahead of myself
by about 12 minutes here?

But who's measuring, right?

Abundance is fucking
abundance, Shirley.

Your abundance is fixing my
car and your problems tomorrow.

Problems, car, tomorrow.
Ding, ding, ding.

All right, you guys. Have a good
night and just, thanks for everything.

It's Captain Puberty.

How you doing? You
all good for bus fare?

Ignore him, Joe. He's terrified
of anyone younger than he is.

No, Jack's grabbing
me a room, actually.

Okay. You gonna be ready to
pack out with us tomorrow?

Pack out? What about all the
great leads we've got here?

Day's work, then wheels up.

We're lucky we got all
we did out of this town.

Right. So there's never someone who
sticks around just to work local?

Well, that's kind of the thing
about traveling salesmen, kid.

They do tend to travel.

Shirley, you wanna go grab
that sizable form I mentioned?

It's okay if the road's not for
you, Joe. You did good tonight.

Yeah, you did.

We'll send you a card
on your 12th birthday.

Have a wonderful evening.

Joe. Jack's not here?

You just missed him. Why?

Certain developments is all.

Regarding fairness, which always
favors the actual winners.

Good evening, guest. How can I
make your stay more pleasant?

Every man's a king, Herb-O As
long as every man is me, Herb-O

Oh, she loves me, she
loves me Oh, oh, oh

Oh, Jesus! Who are you?

You're not Herb at all.
- He told me I could sleep here.

Boy, for a mealy-minded,
congenitally limp fella like him...

Get out! Go!

All right, forgive me,

hot-blooded woman who is
way outta Herb's league.

This is half my room as well,
but no, I'll gladly vacate.

Wait, hey. He said he would get
me on an earlier launch. Did he?

Oh, God, Herb. Good
luck, toots. Seriously.

Jacky boy, you're hoarding
my handsome grandson.

Sure, you're ashamed of me, but
don't overestimate my patience.

Delete.

Every day you're here and not
delivering Joey, who I am owed,

I die faster.

Delete.

Down in a flash.

I need a minute, Jack.

Fuck.

All right, anything for
you, Shirl, anytime.

Hey.
- Fifteen units in three hours.

Considering we did 48 the last three
months, I'd call it an eventful evening.

You know... Could you
help me pick out a tie?

Yes, we are making big waves.
Big, big, big, big waves.

You know, I shouldn't
be thinking like this,

but if Jenkins hits us
with more delays now,

this whole town is
gonna grab pitchforks.

Well, that'll be HQ's problem
'cause we'll be long gone.

That is the right call, Shirl.

Oak Grove has a
county fair tomorrow.

I got prices on ad buys.

Plus, a regional spread
plan profit projection.

Lots of potential we never
had the stones to tap.

This is also all stuff that you
are not paid enough to worry about.

Well, whosever job it
is, I'm better at it.

I'm not saying ambition doesn't
look great on you. It does.

But let's...

Let's just hit the road.

Keep working doors like we know how.
Crawl before we corner the market.

Of course. Who doesn't
wanna make less money?

Me, Shirl.

I've got a boss, and bosses are
violent, irrational creatures,

especially when you start spending
their budgets however the hell you want.

One day, when Brightside's bigger than
sliced bread and you and me run the show,

we will be rich enough
to make up our own rules.

Ready when you are.

Hey, Jack, it's me.

Too bad Joey won't travel.

I see some of what you're seeing.
- Won't travel?

Jack, you got a minute?

Hey, good morning.
- Hey.

Hey, Shirl.

I was just coming by to
say thanks for everything.

I gotta go home.

Well, hey... Let me
give you a ride. Okay?

Got something I wanna show you.

Let's go.

It only looked like
I was in last place,

and that's with Jack handing
this Joey certain advantages,

which he needs, of course, given
his total lack of expertise.

Herbie, you're not letting life on
the road get to you again, are you?

Remember, we're stronger than that.
- Much stronger.

So much stro...

Wait, Herbie, what
is that scarf?

That women's scarf
there on your bed.

You see, honey, I can't say for
certain what that scarf is or whose,

because I was not present
when it was left there.

I'm alone, every day.

And I'm here for you, your eternal
rock, with our twins growing inside me,

and you have a scarf.
You have a scarf!

A car like this. All the
home a salesman ever needs.

Oh, man.
- Hey, don't be shy, kid, open her up.

You sure?
- Yeah, see what she got.

Here goes nothing.

That's right, kid. Ten and
two, right there, you got it.

This thing's pretty powerful.

Yeah, it is.

So, Joe, we head out tonight,
and I would be honored

to have the most promising rookie
salesman I've ever met in convoy with us.

And you can drive
your new car here too.

What do you mean?

What, you don't like it? We'll swap it
out, but frankly, I think it suits you.

You didn't buy this for me.

You didn't think any of this would be
as good as it is, but... here we are.

You know, it's just...

It's just too much. Jack, it's... No.
- No.

Don't get hung up, kid.
Call it a company car.

You work with us, you get
to drive it. That simple.

Yeah, you don't have
to sell me on it, Jack.

I'm not going to go.

I can't leave my mom.

I can't.

You haven't seen Jack, have you?

Herb, my compliments. I met your
conjugal visitor from last night.

Well, I was very
wrong about you.

You're actually very wrong
about being wrong about me.

I provided her with our customer service
hotline, which should be very helpful.

Now you're ducking her like a regular
Don Juan, and... just... It's shocking.

No one's ducking or
shocking or anything.

Why does everyone
think I'm a sex maniac?

It's a fair question.
Let me ask you something.

Now, you saw this in a shop window,
huh? Singing you a love song.

Would you not put aside certain
other pertinent concerns?

Look at this. Look at that.
AutoColor, huh? Goes with everything.

Very impressive.

Okay, just slowly
walk away, okay?

I know you have a million and
one stupid fucking questions.

For once, please save
them and get outta here.

Take that bag of money.

Probably time I just
give it to Shirl.

Hey there, pal.

There you are. I've been
looking all over for you, Fred.

Third visit on this tab,
Ed. Third visits hurt.

Great news. Payday is tomorrow.

You'll find me right here, Fred.
Come on, you'll have every cent.

Money or pain, pal.
It's your call.

Come on, you gotta have
something on ya. Anything.

Fred, I got nothing.

You unlucky bum.

All right, easy. Okay,
hey. Come on. Please?

I can walk myself, all
right? Big boy now.

Have a wonderful afternoon.

Hello, and thank you for calling
the Brightside Lunar Residences,

where you'll live your
brighter tomorrow today.

For Sales, press one.

For more about the
Brightside, press two.

For Sales, press one.

For more about the
Brightside, press two.

Invalid entry.

Invalid entry.

Sorry, none of our sales associates
are available to take your call.

Follow.

You cut me off, but his
name was "Herb Porter,"

and he should be
fired immediately

because I never would have done
this if he hadn't let me think...

And now I'm stuck here
in this dingy motel

with nothing in my suitcase but
goddamn loungewear for the moon.

Waiting three months with
no home to go back to?

I thought I was
leaving right away.

Do you know what it
took to get here?

Are these the offices of
Brightside Lunar "Redisences?"

Yeah, what can I do for ya?

I'll need to speak with the manager or
operationally deputized "sudorbinate."

Yeah, guess I'll do.

Location of corporate enterprise?
- Excuse me?

Location of
corporate enterprise?

Where's HQ, you mean?

The moon.

Form 703C, please.
- Yeah, now you stumped me.

Fetch 703C.

Pursuant to the non-local entity's
unpermitted broadcast advertisements

on WYBS,

you are required to file a
703C Statement of Disclosure.

Down.

Per entity, per transaction,
in "triclipate."

Sorry, I wasn't aware.

Which, ipso facto,
constitutes a violation.

These are public
airwaves, ma'am.

We can't just allow anyone from
anywhere to say anything they want.

Well, good thing we're taking
our business elsewhere,

and you won't have to worry
about our 73s. Right...

703C's. And yes, my jurisdiction's
confined to Vistaville county, but...

Then write this down
in "triclipate."

I've spent 14 hours doing
paperwork, my wrists hurt,

my fucking ass is numb,
and I've been daydreaming

about stabbing just about anyone
in the eye with this pencil.

Then comes you, stuffed
in your $12 suit,

asking an honest businesswoman
who's buried in forms

for more useless goddamn forms.

Now, please, get the fuck
out, and let me do my job.

I'm no stranger to coarse
language and contempt.

And while there's no rule against it,
it does make the process less pleasant.

Your 16-hour compliance window
began with initial "nofitication..."

three minutes ago.

Follow.

So, what else can I say?

I got married at 17. That
was my first mistake.

Any man who says, "We'll keep the
next baby," is a fucking liar.

My mother's even worse,
but we covered her.

Please get me out of here.

Get me out of here.

We were unable to
save your message.

For sales, press one.

Mr. Billings?
- Hey.

I saw the garage needed work.

Nothing a couple men with
hammers can't handle.

Why you doing this?

Well, because you're stuck, kid.

And every time you see that,
it's dragging you down more.

I get you can't come on the road with us,
but you can't stay here with that either.

You got some tools in there?

I can check.

My mom just has trouble
getting rid of stuff.

Here, you can check in there.

Had a case like this once.

Did you use it a lot as a kid?

No. Mostly just
called the handyman.

This will do.

I... You can throw some
paint on the new ones.

Okay.

B-Plex. Please inform
Jack I dropped that off.

Nice work, Herb.
Tied for second.

Hey, you wanna mark
it up yourself?

Who needs a check mark, right?

I know what I did, even
if Jack doesn't, nor Joey.

Don't beat yourself up.

Whatever's going on with Jack and
that kid's got nothing to do with you.

Thank you, Shirley.

You know, sometimes I think that
Betty thinks that if I'm not...

you know, number one,

then there's something wrong.

Well, maybe both of you
need to relax a little.

Well, she doesn't really like
us using the R-word, Shirley.

Hey, look, you're a good kid, and it's
noble that you wanna stick by your mom,

but it's tough living your
life for someone else.

Well, that's just
how she raised me.

You know, family first.

Exactly, but aren't you a
part of that family too?

Sure.

Trust me, the world, it's big
enough for you to love her

and do your own thing sometimes.

Looks good, nice, and even.

Thanks.

You know, I've only
ever left here once.

No, it was game
seven, Volts, Dynamos.

So, it was 10 hours on
local buses right there.

You got an adventurer's heart,
and you're living like a granny.

How do you know people so good?

Knocking on their doors.

It's a hell of a classroom.

Of course, I wanna
go with you guys.

I just don't wanna wind
up some nobody. I...

My pops left, and that's
what happened to him.

He left her and
never looked back.

You keep in touch with him ever?
- I don't even wanna know his name.

You sure?
- I could care less if he was dead.

Well, then, I bet you'll turn
out way better than he did.

And that's all your mom
really wants, anyway.

I mean, now, I don't
know her, but...

moms aren't always built
for letting their boys go.

Yeah, she'd probably want me
to stay here in this house

with her for the rest of
my life if she had her way.

You'd hate her if
you never left.

That I know.

Plus, you'd be short a car and a
career, and a bunch of new friends,

all of which could be yours for
the price of "Thanks, Jack."

Thanks, Jack.

Turndown service.

You shitty little bastard.
- Ma'am... Miss.

I believed you. I left
my whole life for this!

What are you doing here?

Those are actually my roommate's.
- Well, fuck him too!

You promised me
this would happen!

I don't have time to wait!
My whole life is ruined!

Twelve years of
marriage, just fucked!

Excuse me, Miss Tramp,

if you're looking for your cheap
scarf, it's right over there.

I knew it.

All right.

Good afternoon, guest.
Can I help with your bags?

You're getting the hang of it.
- Sorta.

So, there you are.

Ma, hey. I wasn't expecting you.

This is the... A new recruit
of ours. A great guy.

Joey Shorter, my ma.

It's a pleasure to meet
you, Mrs. Billings.

God, you're handsome. Excuse me.

All right, no, let him breathe, Ma.
Ma, first w... it's his first week.

I've been telling Jack to recruit
someone like you for years now.

Tell me, is he
treating you right?

I know firsthand
he can be cruel.

Checked out,
two-faced, you name it.

Oh, no.

He's been great, really.
He's been teaching me a lot.

We're all hitting the
road tonight, actually.

Is that right?

On the road?

Lots of packing and
planning to do here, Ma.

But I'm glad you had a chance to meet.
- I hope to see you again, Mrs. Billings.

I'm sure you will, Joey.

You're a very special boy. No
matter what he says or does.

Okay.
- All right.

Okay.

Good afternoon, valued guest.

Can I help you with
transportation?

I'm coming with, Shirl.
- Good for you.

And what's that?

It's a company car.

But, Jack says I can
drive it a while.

What sadistic thing are
you doing to that boy?

He's fine, Ma. Okay?
Just get in the car.

You got to see him.
Everything's gonna be fine.

You got him so pumped up full of
hot air. He's half nuts already.

Abandoning his mother on her
deathbed to "hit the road"

when you can't even
cop to being his dad.

I'm gonna tell him soon.
What do you think I am?

I know what you are, Jack.

You're the guy who's gonna rip
him away from everything decent.

Straight out of your father's playbook.
- Dad didn't run out. He died.

And you think that's
not his fault?

I know what it is to live
with a lunatic, Jack.

So I'm gonna be looking
out for that boy.

Well, I better warn him, 'cause every
guy you look out for winds up suicidal.

Suck it up.
- Bye, Ma.

Run away, Jack. Go on, run away.

Shirley.

Hey. Loaded up?

What's better than leaving this town
and never coming back, am I right?

You did forget to...

Well, you forgot to
pack this, though.

Let's just see.

What about your other issues?

Jesus. A jewel like that, and you're gonna
waste time talking to me about issues?

Ay, ay, ay. It's beautiful, Ed.

It's huge.

Knockout.

What's wrong with your leg?
- Nothing.

Walk over here then.
- No. I'm no trained seal.

I happen to like it over here.

What, you gonna stand
over there all night?

Get over here and kiss me.

You miserable fool.

Yeah, maybe, but
ain't I lucky, though?

Here.

What?
- Everyone else plays fast and loose.

Why can't we?
- What?

Just take care of what you
have to, and pay it back soon.

Shirl, there is an air of miracle and
salvation about all this. There is.

Don't milk it.
- Okay, no.

Milk... keeps coming
up over and over again.

No, I'm telling you.
- No, enough with the juju talk.

I...
- Gimme them lips.

So, you're maybe not gonna
wanna hear this, but...

Sure, he can stay here

and spend his life getting antsy,
wondering what he's capable of,

or he could do what makes him feel
like he's got a chance in the world.

And you don't wanna
take that away from him.

So what if it screws him up
a hundred different ways?

At least he'll
come by it honest.

He's incredible. You know that.

You did that.

And, boy, he loves you.

He'd lay down his dreams
just to stay by your side.

At least, till I got involved.

God, he knows things at his
age I might never learn.

So, fine.

I get it. We'll stay.

What's the big rush, right?

Visiting hours are
for family only.

I'm her husband.

How 'bout another round?

Jesus.

Whoever called this a porterhouse
should be taken out and shot.

Well, ma'am...

quite often what the
menu listed as USDA Prime

is only grade
"stadnart..." standard.

That's criminal.

Technically, you're right.

Thank you.

You know, I was on the
phone for four hours today,

and no one's listening. Not a soul.
I might as well be a goddamn doormat.

Fetch F27EZ.

You're not a doormat,
ma'am. You're a customer.

And customers have rights.

And it's my job to protect them.