Heartbreak High (1994–1999): Season 1, Episode 7 - Episode #1.7 - full transcript
Go, Jack!
How many is that, Miss?
-Five, I think.
-Five-nil?
Yep. Five-nil.
Four wipeouts in a row!
Don't blame me for that.
It's not my fault.
Running the wrong way wasn't your fault.
Come on, guys.
Look, you did your best, didn't you?
Best? That was so slack.
Well, you can talk, Danielle.
What were you doing
bunched up on the left wing?
What about the back pass?
-Any goalie would have saved that.
-Look, all right.
Let's not start fighting
amongst ourselves.
Now, if you want to take
your aggression out on somebody,
let's wait and save it
for Brentwood next week.
Fantastic. Another flogging coming up.
Come on, Jack.
Look, you'll never win with that attitude.
We're never gonna win, period.
Good one, Davo.
-Hey, snap out of it, guys.
What is this, a funeral or something?
-So we lost one game. Big deal.
-Four games, Nick.
We've lost four games!
So? You win some, you lose some.
-We haven't won any.
Hey, we're still a new team.
We have to settle in.
Settle in to what?
Death by major embarrassment?
People are making bets whether
we'll get beaten ten-nil next game.
So why don't you go and bet
for the other team then?
Just stop it. Stop it!
Look, that is enough.
Now, we're never gonna get anywhere
arguing like this.
We've gotta figure out where we went wrong
and what we can do about it
next time, right?
-Yeah, we must think positive.
-Yes.
So, where did we go wrong?
Well? Look, I think
Danielle was half right.
I think we're getting too bunched up
in defense.
Do you remember that diagram
I showed you last week?
-From the book by Pel?.
-That's the one.
Miss, all that stuff
was a million years ago.
You gotta understand,
Pel? hung up his boots
at the beginning of the century.
It's Maradona now. You know what I mean?
I realize he's everyone's hero,
but you can't just dismiss Pel?.
Yeah, and Zelic and Farina and Bosnich--
Yeah, look, what does it matter
who wrote the book?
The rules are still the same, aren't they?
Anyway, who are those guys?
No.
-They play for Australia, Miss.
-Yeah.
-Don't worry about it.
Unbelievable.
So, here endeth the guided tour
of Hartley High School.
Well, thank you, Mr. Deloraine.
I do appreciate your time.
My pleasure. Have a seat.
Now, is there any more information
I can give you?
Anything in particular you'd like to see?
Well, if I could get just a few details
about your students?
My editor's asked me to concentrate on
the human interest angle,
if you know what I mean.
But I'd appreciate it
if you could keep some space
for those more practical matters
we mentioned.
The, lack of facilities,
teaching aids, that sort of thing.
-Sure, sure.
-Coffee?
No, thanks.
So, this is a pretty rough area, isn't it?
I guess your students must come from
tough backgrounds.
Well, some, I suppose, yes.
The point I would like you to make is that
the kids from
the less disadvantaged schools
don't have these problems.
You see, if we had
more government funding, we'd be able--
So they've grown up with
all the disadvantages
and problems associated with
this type of environment?
More or less, then on top of that
we have equipment shortages
and, um, understaffing,
a total lack of basic teaching aids
in some areas.
Is it any wonder that sometimes
they don't
come up to scratch academically?
They don't?
Well, when measured against kids
from more privileged schools, no.
How could it be otherwise? The thing is--
Your students feel underprivileged,
would you say?
I, I suppose so, yes.
And it's related to
their ethnic backgrounds?
Well, in some ca--
What you're really saying is
your students feel
intellectually inferior.
This sucks. Everything we do sucks.
-Our defense sucks.
-Our attack sucks.
And it's what she's telling us to do, man.
That's where we're going wrong.
She even thought Pel? played
for Italy.
Are you guys forgetting something?
If it wasn't for Milano, man,
we wouldn't even have a team.
Maybe it'd be better if we didn't.
What'd you say? What's your problem, Davo?
If we keep getting thrashed all the time,
who wants to belong to a team of losers?
I don't believe you, Davo.
You're sick, you know that?
All right. Look, why don't you
just ask your dad to coach us?
-Get real.
-Man, it'd be good.
What's so special about his old man?
He was an international star, right?
Okay, who did he play for?
Italy with Pel??
Davo, if you're not gonna say
anything decent, mate,
shut your face, okay?
It was a joke.
Listen, man, why don't you
just ask him anyway?
We've already got a coach.
Come on. Miss Milano?
You, you gotta be joking.
Please, Nick.
I don't know.
Tomorrow's edition, hopefully.
I'll look forward to reading it.
You will run it by me first?
Sure. I'll see what I can do.
See you.
Jim, could I have a word?
One word. Media.
Look, it's about the request
I put in last month.
-Request?
-The computer.
The computer.
Yes, the computer.
What was the reason you needed that?
Because it's the '90s and people use them.
You've got one, I want one.
I need a computer.
I need a new car.
Well, then, get one.
Do you want me to explain again why?
No, don't explain. I believe you.
-We simply don't--
-Don't have the money.
But, if you can keep this under your hat,
I'm trying to
get the school declared disadvantaged.
So?
If it's an official designation,
then we can apply for funding
under the Disadvantaged Schools Component.
I see.
Now, that chap who just walked
out of here, he's a reporter.
So he's gonna tell the world
how poor we are.
Then the government's
gonna throw money at us
to show how generous they are.
And I can have a computer.
-Wait till we get the money first.
-You're a genius.
Hello.
Whoo!
Whoa! "G'day, Dad. How are you?"
"I'm fine, son. How are you?"
Hi, Dad. Hi, Mum.
-How was your game?
-Spot on.
-We only lost five-nil.
-Five-nil?
What are you doing? Playing Aussie rules?
-Very funny.
-Look, you win some, you lose some.
-It'll get better.
-You think so?
Yeah.
-And what if the team splits up
and we don't even exist anymore?
What do you mean, breaks up?
You're gonna give up?
-All of you?
-You should see us on the field.
We're playing like a bunch of zombies.
-What is the coach doing about it?
-She's doing the best she can.
Well, stick with it.
The coach is the boss. Always.
We are sticking with it.
We're doing everything she tells us.
Well, maybe you need to try a bit harder.
Listen, Dad,
all the kids at school, their parents are
helping them with sport.
That's good.
Well, I was wondering, you know,
the guys at school are asking me
if you wanna be our coach.
-You already got a coach.
-I know that.
We appreciate it.
It's just that it's not working out.
-You know what I mean?
-Yeah, I know what you mean.
You're on a losing streak
and you think it's the coach's fault.
-You don't understand.
-No, I understand, I do, I understand.
You want me to walk in,
shove the coach out of the way,
and create miracles.
I can't, Nick. I can't.
Anyway, I'm finished with football. No.
You want us to help.
What can I do?
Forget about it.
A debate against Riverdale?
You find that amusing, Bill?
Well, I don't know about amusing,
but Riverdale?
Those kids are in the top 5%
of the HSC every year.
Bit out of their league, aren't they?
Out of our league?
What would they want with the likes of us?
What do you mean by "the likes of us"?
Well, you wouldn't actually call our lot,
a bunch of intellectual giants now,
would you?
What would you call them? Let me guess.
Hey, come on now.
Don't get all defensive on me.
I'm not.
It's just that
maybe I recognize their limitations
a bit better than you guys, that's all.
Well, evidently, the head
of the English department at Riverdale
has a little bit more faith in them
than you do.
Otherwise she wouldn't be challenging us,
would she?
Yeah.
I'll bet she needed some way to take
her little darlings on an excursion.
You know, see how the other half lives.
The thing that worries me?
is actually getting
any of them willing to do it.
I mean, you can lead a horse to water--
Look, there are kids in my class
who would jump at the chance.
And I think they're the intellectual equal
of any kid at Riverdale.
Well, then,
here's their chance to prove it.
Don't be too hard on him.
He's had a stupid life.
Glad to hear you feel
so confident about your kids.
Yes, of course I do. Why?
I thought,
seeing you're so proud of them,
you might want
an opportunity to show them off.
No, I am not selecting
the debating team.
Okay, I'm not trying
to put you on the spot,
but if you feel they're not up to it?
Very subtle, Graham.
Have you been taking lessons
from Mr. Southgate?
-Can I talk to you about it at recess?
-Yes.
Slow down, guys!
It is not a race for the life boats.
Hey!
Hey, Nick, did you ask him or what?
Not yet. I don't think he'd be interested.
Well, how do you know
if you don't ask him?
-I just don't think he would.
-Yeah, but you promised me, man.
I didn't promise you anything.
I said I might ask him,
and now I'm saying I don't want to.
Okay? So, just drop it.
All right, man. All right, relax.
Hey, Chaka.
-Hi, Con.
Bye, Con.
-Hey, Chaka, wanna meet me after school?
You know, go down to Ruby's?
I'm busy. I'm helping Peter with his math.
What about tomorrow then?
-She's busy then, too.
Thursday?
Look, I think
she's trying to tell you something.
Yeah, what? What are you?
I don't know. Rack off, hairy legs.
I don't know.
Rack off, hairy legs.
Hey. Smooth talker there.
Did you see that? Did you see that?
See how she had
a little twinkle in her eye?
You know what she's telling me, mate?
She wants me.
Can I have some quiet, please?
When I have your complete and undivided
and very respectful attention?
Shut up, you dickheads.
Can't you see she's in the class?
Thank you, Con.
Right.
Mr. Brown would like to
make an announcement,
before we start class.
No! I knew
I should have been more careful.
You're pregnant, aren't you?
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, Mr. Rivers.
I'm just here to tell you that
we've been challenged
by Riverdale High School to a debate.
Yes, I know.
I knew you'd all be very excited.
But the best part is that,
Miss Milano has offered to select
the Hartley team from this class.
Yes, I can see you're all very interested,
so, perhaps we can meet tomorrow afternoon
when you've selected your team.
No personal favors, sir.
The topic, by the way, is that
Australia would be better as a republic,
rather than a monarchy.
Perhaps you'd like to give it some thought
between now and tomorrow, okay?
Mr. Brown, what's a republic?
-What's a monarchy?
-What the hell is a debate?
Perhaps Miss Milano could answer
those questions.
Thank you very much, Mr. Brown.
All right, all right.
Do we have any volunteers?
No.
-I don't think so.
All right, doesn't matter.
We've got plenty of time.
Now, Rose, what's that you're reading?
It's a newspaper, Miss.
Quick, quick, turn to the sports page
and read about Hartley's soccer team's
big win over Riverdale.
Listen, why don't you just suck
a greasy fat one?
I don't want to hear anything
about soccer, thank you very much.
Con, please sit down.
Peter, would you be quiet?
And Rose, can you put that paper away?
I'm just trying to find stuff
for the new edition of Gutta Press.
Well, I'd appreciate it if you did
your plagiarizing in your own time, okay?
Right. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.
Have you all finished reading it?
Yeah.
Okay, now, what do we think
Mr. Huxley is saying
about the human condition?
We're animals, Miss.
Speak for yourself.
-Anyone else?
He's saying, if we don't fight
our oppressors, we become their slaves.
Yeah. I'll be your slave any day, babe.
Dream on, Bordino.
All right. Now,
I'd like us to discuss
some of the major characters in it.
Turn to, um, page?
What? Intellectually inferior?
It's been taken completely out of context.
Did you actually use the term
"intellectually inferior"?
Absolutely not.
Mr. Longley made that one up on his own.
Well, I mean, it sort of sounds like
you're blaming their poor academic ability
on where their parents were born,
if you know what I mean.
I know what you mean.
What I'm trying to say is that all I did
was agree with him that
given the circumstances,
they probably sometimes--
-Look, he said it, but you agreed to it.
-Excuse me?
I didn't agree with anybody.
He answered his own questions.
He probably wrote the article in his head
on his way back to the office.
Yeah, right. This is the guy
you were going to use
to help us get the Disadvantaged Schools
Component, right?
-Yes.
-Yeah, well, it sounds like he used us.
It does, rather, doesn't it?
Thanks for putting it so succinctly, Yola.
Look, it's?
It won't rest here, I assure you.
I've already spoken to the editor
and he agrees that
the reporter has drawn
inaccurate conclusions
of some of our students.
Just say it. Just say it.
He's a bloody racist.
It is a word I would favor.
However, he's not likely to agree to
something as sueable as that.
I'll? I'll keep you
posted, all right?
Look, it's just the media people,
that's all it is.
"Deloraine was at pains
to emphasize the need
for improved facilities and teaching aids
at Hartley.
'What you must remember,' he said,
'is that most of these kids come from
a melting pot of ethnic backgrounds.'"
What a wanker!
"He went on to explain how this results
in a lack of drive amongst students.
Added to understaffing
and equipment shortages,
the net result was a body of students,
best described as
intellectually inferior."
Can you believe that?
Intellectually inferior.
What does that mean?
It means your principal thinks
we're a bunch of morons!
No, he's right in a way, though, isn't he?
I mean, some of us are stuffed
'cause of where we're from.
Speak for yourself, Chaka,
thanks very much.
I don't see it like that.
What are you gonna do about it?
Kick Riverdale's butt in this poxy debate,
for starters.
Can't you see? We've got a chance here
to show everyone that we're not
a bunch of dickheads.
-Well, you can count me in.
-Me, too!
Yeah, right.
-I'm serious, man.
Man, you guys are a bunch of losers.
Where's your fighting spirit?
Hey, well, if you think I'm gonna get up
in front of the whole school,
and make a total dick of myself with him,
Con Bordino,
you've got another thing coming.
-You're full of it, Danni.
-You're full of it.
Nice one, Con.
What did I do?
-I'm on your side, man.
-You wish, Con, you wish.
Women.
Sir? I want to be on the debating team.
Really?
-We should be doing more things like this.
It's good experience
for when we leave school
to have to go and do interviews and stuff.
Yeah.
And I also wanna show Mr. Deloraine
that his attitude sucks.
Right.
I want to show these guys that
just 'cause we're a bunch of wogs,
doesn't mean we're idiots.
I wanna kick their asses.
Do you know what I mean?
Yep, I know what you mean.
Okay, tomorrow at two o'clock?
Yeah, two o'clock. Great.
Okay, good.
-Sir? Are they any good?
-Who, Riverdale?
Yeah, they got a fair reputation.
-Miss Milano.
-Mrs. Poulos.
Hello. Look, I'm sorry
if I'm bothering you--
No, look, no, not at all.
Um, I'm just heading up to soccer--
Actually, that's why I'm here.
-Soccer?
-Um.
Nick said you're having trouble
with the team,
so I thought
maybe I could do something to help.
That's really
very kind of you, Mrs. Poulos.
Irini. Irini, please.
Irini.
-So?
What's the problem?
Look, there really isn't a problem.
It's just?
we haven't been going too well,
that's all.
No, the problem's with the coach.
Well, you got a lot to do,
maybe you don't have the time.
I don't have the skills and I know it.
So, maybe you'd like another coach.
-I'd love it.
You want to volunteer for the job?
-I don't think so.
No, you're right.
I don't have the time either.
We don't even have a manager. It's stupid.
Well, maybe I could be the manager.
-You want to be the manager?
-Yeah, why not?
But have you ever done
anything like this before?
No. Well, have you ever been
a coach before?
No.
Well? So what time's training?
Now. You might as well take that.
We'll be late.
-Nick tells me you've got no uniforms.
-Yeah, you're right.
Okay, guys,
I've got some news for you.
We've got ourselves a new manager
and it's going to be Mrs. Poulos.
Mrs. Poulos?
I'd like you to
make her feel welcome, please.
Right, now, Mrs. Poulos is going to be
in charge of
all the nuts and bolts stuff from now on.
And I think she's gonna make
a big difference.
-And you're gonna have new uniforms.
-That's not all we need.
-Nick, did you ask him?
-Give it a rest, Davo.
Ask who about what?
Nick's dad about coaching the team.
You thought he'd make a better coach
than Miss Milano here,
who's put all the time in
to make you into a team.
Hey, it was a stupid idea.
I've been trying to tell them,
but they don't listen.
Look, I don't think it's a stupid idea.
I think it's a great idea if he'd agree.
-You think he'd agree, Mrs. Poulos?
-You wouldn't be offended?
No, not at all. I'd be thrilled, really.
Hey, there's no use. I asked him already
and he said no.
Well, maybe, I don't know.
I was just thinking
if Miss Milano were to ask him.
Yeah.
I mean, just to ask him.
-Yeah!
You've got to get your father
in the right mood, don't you, Nick?
Do you think I'm crazy?
You think I've got rocks in my head?
Look, I'm sorry.
I just thought that you might be--
You thought wrong.
-Sorry.
-I work shift work
at a factory on an assembly line.
You think I've got time to chase
a bunch of crazy kids around
with a football?
-You're right. I had no right to ask.
-You did. I asked you here.
-Anyway, I better be going. See you.
-Excuse me.
You wanna do something for him?
Keep him at his desk a little more
and on the soccer field a little less.
Look, Mr. Poulos, I only asked
because the kids told me
you used to play for Greece.
Sure, I used to play for Greece.
Now what do I do?
I put bumper bars on motor cars.
I'll show you to the door.
-Night. Night, Nick.
-Good night.
What the hell is wrong with you?
-Now, listen, mate.
-She was only trying to help.
-I already told you, no!
You think I'm gonna change my mind
because of a pretty face?
-What's the matter with you?
-Nothing.
You made that girl so embarrassed,
she didn't know where to look.
Why did she come here
asking me to coach the soccer team?
Now, the same day,
my wife becomes their manager.
-Don't you think I know what's going on?
-You think there's something going on?
We're cooking up something
behind your back.
Listen, I know what I see.
-There's nothing going on.
-Good.
Actually, we don't care
if you help us or not anymore.
Even better.
-But if you think
that I'm going to tell our son that
he can't do what you were doing
when you were his age,
well, you can think again.
-Rose, face it, look, you need me.
-Like leprosy.
I'd be really good.
Look, Con, the only reason
you want to be on the team
is 'cause Chaka's on it.
You think if you're going to
hang around her long enough,
she's gonna learn to like you.
Yeah, so?
All right, all right, Con.
You're on the team.
There's no one else.
Whoa!
Hey, we meet today at two o'clock in 4B.
-Two o'clock?
-Is that a problem, Con?
-I've got training. I can't.
-Look, are you in or out?
Are you in or out, Con?
I'm in, all right?
-Have you got a minute?
-Sure.
I just wanted to apologize
about George the other night.
He's not normally like that.
Please, there's no need
to apologize, all right?
I've been thinking about it
and he was right.
It was unfair of me to ask him
to do something like that.
It was my idea, remember?
Look, he had a right to refuse you,
but he had no right to be so rude.
Well, maybe we just caught him
in a bad time.
I was so embarrassed.
Nick was so embarrassed,
he won't even talk about it.
Really, please, it's fine.
I think the whole
thing's my fault anyway.
It was my stupid idea in the first place.
-What, the soccer team?
-Yeah.
It hasn't been a raging success, has it?
Listen, Christina, it's a fantastic thing.
You did something for those kids.
What do you mean, stupid?
I've created some sort of monster.
Now, I got all their hopes up,
and now they're
starting to feel ashamed of it.
And all because their dumb coach
doesn't know that
Ferich and Bosnovich play for Australia.
It's Bosnich, Christina.
You know, it doesn't matter.
It's the game that counts.
And I don't know the first thing about it.
Look, I'm a lousy coach
and they know it, right?
See you.
-See you.
So, any of you ever been
in a debating team before?
Okay, it's okay. It's pretty simple.
There are two teams,
three speakers per team,
three minutes per speaker.
The bell rings after two minutes,
then again at the end.
Don't they usually pick the topic
just before the debate?
Yes, but Mrs. Williamson and I
thought that
because the Republican issue
was so current, that we'd waive that rule,
and it would give us
better time to prepare.
They've decided they're going to win,
so they thought they'd chuck us a bone.
Yeah, maybe. Anyway?
-Um.
-Who's the ref?
The adjudicator
is from Macquarie University.
She's a second-year
political science student,
with a lot of debating experience.
Look, are there any fouls, penalties,
anything like that?
Get real, Con.
No, no, that's a valid question.
It's not quite like soccer, Con.
The idea of debating is to
present your case clearly.
That's the first speaker's job.
Back it up and defend it
against the opposition,
that's the second speaker.
And the third speaker sums it all up.
So it's just like after the kickoff,
you dribble the ball upfield,
run off the ball
to set up attacking formation,
put it in the cross to the penalty area
and shoot for a goal,
so it's just like soccer.
Yeah, I suppose.
Beautiful.
Nick, come and have a look.
Ta-da!
What do you think?
-Yeah, it looks pretty good.
It took us forever!
And I've ordered you some new jumpers,
so you can look like a real team.
Yeah, what if we don't have
a real team anymore?
Of course you've got a real team.
I'm the manager.
Mum, new jumpers aren't going to
make us play any better.
He's absolutely right.
A banner and new jumpers aren't going to
turn them into a real team.
For that you need skill.
Yeah, you should know all about that.
You're the one that
played for Greece, right?
That was a long time ago.
Maybe you don't know so much anymore.
Nick?
-He's scared of making a fool of himself.
-That's why he doesn't want to coach us.
-You don't talk to your father like that.
Tell me the real reason
why you stopped playing?
Was it because you got injured?
Or because you were so scared
you couldn't do it no more?
Nick, come back
and say you're sorry.
-Let him go.
-He doesn't mean it, George--
-He means it, all right.
You want a cup of coffee?
No, thanks, I'm all right.
What's on your mind?
Nothing.
You know, maybe you should
just talk to Nick.
He's got no way of understanding
what we left behind in Greece.
I mean, how could he?
Nothing to talk about.
You know, I think you're turning into
a really selfish man.
Come on, sir. That's a load of bull.
You know that.
Look, just because something survived
more than a hundred years,
doesn't mean you can't change it.
Yeah, what about America?
They're a dominant force in the world,
and they've never even had a royal family.
Why should we need one?
Yeah, all they do is spend
their taxpayers' money
on chintzy palaces and Rolls Royces.
And skiing holidays in the Bahamas.
You don't ski in the Bahamas,
you dickhead.
Water skiing, goober.
Okay, okay, that's good.
You seem to have the general idea.
-That's all there is to it then?
-That's all there is to it.
What I'd like to do now is work on ways
we might structure the arguments better.
Other than that, looking very good.
Sweet, let's kick ass.
I mean, let's go get 'em.
What do you think, Mr. Deloraine?
In with a chance?
-Well and truly.
-Bet he wouldn't put any hard cash on it.
I'm very impressed. I think,
if enthusiasm counts for anything,
you'll do well.
In fact, I'd put money on it.
One other thing. Mrs. Williamson called
from Riverdale
about who's gonna argue for what.
As the host school,
I thought it would be diplomatic
to offer them the choice.
They've chosen to
argue for the affirmative.
Still, I think you'll make
just as good a case
for the monarchy
as you did for the republic.
Keep up the good work.
We're Republicans. What happened?
What about this work here I've done?
We've just been arguing for
the other side--
Now, it's all right. It doesn't matter.
-It doesn't matter now?
-If it doesn't matter, then why--
This is what debating is all about.
It's an intellectual exercise,
not a passionate rave.
Well, it sucks, if you ask me.
I was gonna make myself
a cup of tea. You want one?
No, thanks.
I'm sorry.
Yes, so you should be.
You remember the beach?
-What beach?
-Astra.
Yeah, yeah.
-Good?
All expenses paid.
-Panathinaikos Football Club.
-I remember.
The balcony, silk sheets.
I remember.
-Magic?
You sorry we came to Australia?
Is that what's bugging you?
You're sorry you gave all that up?
No.
I thought it was the best thing to do
under the circumstances.
After the injury, Nick was right,
I got frightened.
I got frightened,
not that I couldn't play,
but that I wouldn't be as good as before.
I mean, you are a god out there
on the football field--
My God!
-Yeah.
I was. Come on. I was a god out there.
Okay, you're a god.
Yeah. Well?
On the sideline,
you're just an ordinary man.
Yeah.
And I thought?
this would be a better country
for an ordinary man and his family.
Yeah. It is.
-You think?
-Yeah.
Lately,
I come home from work,
I walk down the street and I think?
What have I given you?
Look at me, I'm an old man.
-No, you're not.
-Working on a production line.
Driving a clapped-out car
I can't even afford to repair.
Living in the same place for 15 years.
It's a house. Who wants a palace?
George.
Look at me.
My life's with you.
I'm happy with you.
You ever hear me complain?
Hey, come on, maybe a little.
A little bit.
You're great.
You know, when I see Nick out there
on the football field?
I see my dreams out there.
And I want him to have them.
But I also want him to have a future.
He'll have a future.
If he wants to fail,
he can do it all by himself.
Now, you can give him your dreams.
That's what he wants.
You've got so much to give.
Yeah.
Maybe.
You're beautiful.
Are we really gonna be duped
by the government?
Are we naive enough to believe
what they tell us?
That by becoming a republic,
by callously discarding a structure
that is the whole foundation
of Australian life as we know it,
we'll be endowed with
an amazing sense of patriotic spirit.
Get real. I'll tell you
what patriotic spirit is.
It's years of tradition.
A monarchy that's been in place
since Federation.
Like the legend of the Anzacs,
and watching the MCG test match
on Boxing Day,
and like Princess Di
on the cover of Women's Weekly.
The opposition made reference,
on more than one occasion,
to the age of constitutional monarchy.
As well she might.
It's served us well?
If this guy doesn't wipe that smile
off his face?
I'm gonna punch his nose out.
But if this withered old institution
was a human being,
it'd be sunning itself on the porch
with a good book and a hot cup of Milo.
Isn't it time
we pensioned the poor thing off?
I mean?
You just can't pull something down
like that that's been?
that's been propping up
the whole politics of the country
for a hundred years?
Aww.
?and expect that
everything's gonna be all right.
Anyway, that's all I've got to say.
It was so bad.
-No, it was fantastic. It was beautiful.
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
the, speaker for the opposition
took the words right out of my mouth.
Propping up the politics of the country
for over a hundred years.
Well, that is exactly what
this creaky old monarchy has been doing.
Propping up
this decaying system of government
for far, far too long.
All right, Davo, your go.
This is stupid.
We should we working on defense.
Yeah, Miss. We should try
and work out some tactics
-so they don't score so many goals.
-I don't believe you guys!
You're talking like a bunch of losers.
How are you ever supposed to win a game
if all you ever talk about
is getting creamed by the other side?
-Well, we do, don't we?
-Just kick the ball, Davo!
-Kick it yourself.
-You're off the team then!
Leave it, Nick, all right!
No, as far as I'm concerned, he can go.
You're a filthy loser, Davo.
Tell that to your old man.
He's the one that let us down.
What'd you say? Come here and say it.
You saying something about
my old man, loser?
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
No swearing.
This guy hasn't got a chance.
Check this guy out.
What is he wearing?
You watch, man. He's going to blow it.
What a greaseball, man.
Madam Speaker, ladies and gentlemen?
We've all heard the opposition over here
rabbiting on about how terrific
this country would be
if it was a republic.
Well, personally, I think that
it's a load of crap.
What'd you say?
What'd you say about my father?
Well, it's true, isn't it?
We might have had a chance
if he had coached us.
Maybe he didn't want to.
Hey, you know what I reckon?
'Cause it's all crap
about him playing for Greece.
I bet he doesn't even know
which end of the ball to kick.
Nick, stop it. Nick!
He insulted my father!
Why don't you let your father sort it out?
What are you going on about?
What's he doing here now?
The fact is, it was stuffed
right from the start.
Greece was split up into city states.
But all they ever did was plot and scheme
and do deals
to stab each other in the back.
But Aristotle, you know who that is?
Aristotle.
A wog.
Aristotle knew the best thing to do,
was to put everything together
and put a king in power,
so the aristocrats couldn't run the place
and rip everything off for themselves.
Aristotle was a legend.
-Still looking for a coach?
-We've already got a coach, remember?
What about an assistant?
Yeah, all right.
You wanna trash the monarchy?
Do you? Go ahead. It doesn't bother me.
You just remember that
what you're trying to do
was tried 2,000 years ago.
And it didn't work then.
You wanna take us back 2,000 years?
Go ahead!
See if I care.
Just don't come running to me,
when it comes crashing down
like a big pile of Republican crap.
-Now what's your name?
-David.
David? All right,
you're attacking, I'm the defender.
You're gonna get the ball past me.
Come on.
Nope.
You see what he does with his hands,
like this, when you're gonna dummy?
Why don't you write me a letter,
give Australia Post some business?
Never, never let the other person know
what you wanna do. Number one rule.
Keep them guessing, okay?
Right.
-Let's go over here.
What'd you say to him?
Just told him he stays at home
and dreams too much.
He needs a bit of fresh air.
-Thanks, Mum.
-It's okay.
Now, you are amazing. How did you do it?
It's my job. I'm the manager.
-I'm gonna go and get those boots now.
-Okay, see you tomorrow.
-Bye.
-Bye, thanks.
Nick?
Yes, yes, come on, Davo!
David! Go, David.
Just the man I wanted to see.
Never let it be said that
I welsh on my bets.
You'll have it by the end of the month.
Mind you,
I do think the moral victory is mine.
I agree. Hartley by a nose, I reckon.
Especially after Con Bordino's effort.
But judge's decision is final, I'm afraid.
Were you betting on the debate?
Just a joke, really.
And you bet Riverdale.
Well, somebody had to,
or there wouldn't have been a bet.
How many pieces of silver did you win?
Enough for a computer for Yola.
Listen, how are we gonna pay for it
if you don't get the money
from the Disadvantaged Schools thing?
I wouldn't write
that possibility off just yet.
Our paparazzo friend, Mr. Longley,
has been directed by his editor to write
a more balanced piece on Hartley High.
Hasn't he done enough damage?
This time it comes from the intervention
of the education department.
Someone down there this week
saw the article
and brought it to the attention
of the minister, no less.
You're kidding.
If we play our cards right,
we could become a cause c?lebre
with all this publicity we're getting.
That's fantastic.
Failing that, I could become Con's agent,
put him out
on the public speaking circuit.
Think I'd clean up, don't you?
Couldn't miss it. Night, Jim.
Night, Graham.
Night, Miss Iscariot.
Ooh! Ooh!
Where'd you learn all that stuff from?
Did you swallow an encyclopedia for lunch?
Hey, man, what can I say?
-It comes naturally.
-Don't let it go to your head, all right?
And how do you know all that Greek stuff?
Rose, when you live with my mum
for 17 years,
that's all your hear every mealtime.
"Aristotle knew
what was good for the world.
Politicians have got soup for brains."
So you are a monarchist.
No, no, no way, man.
I thought you really meant what you said.
No, I was just kidding. You know me.
-I've got to go.
-Con.
-What are you doing now?
-Nothing, why?
Well, would you want to go down to Ruby's?
Aren't you helping Rivers
with his maths work?
That can wait.
-Are you sure?
-Yeah, you want to?
Yeah, all right.
The foot comes out like a piston,
the ball goes smashing into the net,
the final whistle blows, it's all over.
That's it.
-Legend.
The funny thing is, you know,
they wrote about that goal
like I found the ball and kicked it.
Not true.
The ball found me.
I was already in the air.
What did it feel like when you
smashed the ball, scored,
win the game, you're up there
holding the trophy, crowd screaming.
It was great.
But I tell ya, it was nothing
compared to the feeling when I saw
the look on Irini's face.
What was she doing there?
No car. We'll have to start dinner.
-What was she doing there?
-She was there.
We'd met a week before.
I think I kicked that goal for her.
And I'll tell you something else.
That first time, she kissed me.
Yeah, yeah.
Not the other way.
Don't ever let her tell you different.
-Yeah. Yeah.
Telephone.
Hello? Yeah.
Okay. Thank you.
Yes, of course. Thank you.
Who was that?
There's been an accident.
Your mother's in hospital.
-What?
-Your mother's in hospital.
What happened?
-The police just rang and--
-What'd they say?
I don't know. We have to get there.
-Tell me what happened.
-Come.
How bad did they say it was?
-I don't know.
-Tell me!
Get yourself moving. Come on.
How many is that, Miss?
-Five, I think.
-Five-nil?
Yep. Five-nil.
Four wipeouts in a row!
Don't blame me for that.
It's not my fault.
Running the wrong way wasn't your fault.
Come on, guys.
Look, you did your best, didn't you?
Best? That was so slack.
Well, you can talk, Danielle.
What were you doing
bunched up on the left wing?
What about the back pass?
-Any goalie would have saved that.
-Look, all right.
Let's not start fighting
amongst ourselves.
Now, if you want to take
your aggression out on somebody,
let's wait and save it
for Brentwood next week.
Fantastic. Another flogging coming up.
Come on, Jack.
Look, you'll never win with that attitude.
We're never gonna win, period.
Good one, Davo.
-Hey, snap out of it, guys.
What is this, a funeral or something?
-So we lost one game. Big deal.
-Four games, Nick.
We've lost four games!
So? You win some, you lose some.
-We haven't won any.
Hey, we're still a new team.
We have to settle in.
Settle in to what?
Death by major embarrassment?
People are making bets whether
we'll get beaten ten-nil next game.
So why don't you go and bet
for the other team then?
Just stop it. Stop it!
Look, that is enough.
Now, we're never gonna get anywhere
arguing like this.
We've gotta figure out where we went wrong
and what we can do about it
next time, right?
-Yeah, we must think positive.
-Yes.
So, where did we go wrong?
Well? Look, I think
Danielle was half right.
I think we're getting too bunched up
in defense.
Do you remember that diagram
I showed you last week?
-From the book by Pel?.
-That's the one.
Miss, all that stuff
was a million years ago.
You gotta understand,
Pel? hung up his boots
at the beginning of the century.
It's Maradona now. You know what I mean?
I realize he's everyone's hero,
but you can't just dismiss Pel?.
Yeah, and Zelic and Farina and Bosnich--
Yeah, look, what does it matter
who wrote the book?
The rules are still the same, aren't they?
Anyway, who are those guys?
No.
-They play for Australia, Miss.
-Yeah.
-Don't worry about it.
Unbelievable.
So, here endeth the guided tour
of Hartley High School.
Well, thank you, Mr. Deloraine.
I do appreciate your time.
My pleasure. Have a seat.
Now, is there any more information
I can give you?
Anything in particular you'd like to see?
Well, if I could get just a few details
about your students?
My editor's asked me to concentrate on
the human interest angle,
if you know what I mean.
But I'd appreciate it
if you could keep some space
for those more practical matters
we mentioned.
The, lack of facilities,
teaching aids, that sort of thing.
-Sure, sure.
-Coffee?
No, thanks.
So, this is a pretty rough area, isn't it?
I guess your students must come from
tough backgrounds.
Well, some, I suppose, yes.
The point I would like you to make is that
the kids from
the less disadvantaged schools
don't have these problems.
You see, if we had
more government funding, we'd be able--
So they've grown up with
all the disadvantages
and problems associated with
this type of environment?
More or less, then on top of that
we have equipment shortages
and, um, understaffing,
a total lack of basic teaching aids
in some areas.
Is it any wonder that sometimes
they don't
come up to scratch academically?
They don't?
Well, when measured against kids
from more privileged schools, no.
How could it be otherwise? The thing is--
Your students feel underprivileged,
would you say?
I, I suppose so, yes.
And it's related to
their ethnic backgrounds?
Well, in some ca--
What you're really saying is
your students feel
intellectually inferior.
This sucks. Everything we do sucks.
-Our defense sucks.
-Our attack sucks.
And it's what she's telling us to do, man.
That's where we're going wrong.
She even thought Pel? played
for Italy.
Are you guys forgetting something?
If it wasn't for Milano, man,
we wouldn't even have a team.
Maybe it'd be better if we didn't.
What'd you say? What's your problem, Davo?
If we keep getting thrashed all the time,
who wants to belong to a team of losers?
I don't believe you, Davo.
You're sick, you know that?
All right. Look, why don't you
just ask your dad to coach us?
-Get real.
-Man, it'd be good.
What's so special about his old man?
He was an international star, right?
Okay, who did he play for?
Italy with Pel??
Davo, if you're not gonna say
anything decent, mate,
shut your face, okay?
It was a joke.
Listen, man, why don't you
just ask him anyway?
We've already got a coach.
Come on. Miss Milano?
You, you gotta be joking.
Please, Nick.
I don't know.
Tomorrow's edition, hopefully.
I'll look forward to reading it.
You will run it by me first?
Sure. I'll see what I can do.
See you.
Jim, could I have a word?
One word. Media.
Look, it's about the request
I put in last month.
-Request?
-The computer.
The computer.
Yes, the computer.
What was the reason you needed that?
Because it's the '90s and people use them.
You've got one, I want one.
I need a computer.
I need a new car.
Well, then, get one.
Do you want me to explain again why?
No, don't explain. I believe you.
-We simply don't--
-Don't have the money.
But, if you can keep this under your hat,
I'm trying to
get the school declared disadvantaged.
So?
If it's an official designation,
then we can apply for funding
under the Disadvantaged Schools Component.
I see.
Now, that chap who just walked
out of here, he's a reporter.
So he's gonna tell the world
how poor we are.
Then the government's
gonna throw money at us
to show how generous they are.
And I can have a computer.
-Wait till we get the money first.
-You're a genius.
Hello.
Whoo!
Whoa! "G'day, Dad. How are you?"
"I'm fine, son. How are you?"
Hi, Dad. Hi, Mum.
-How was your game?
-Spot on.
-We only lost five-nil.
-Five-nil?
What are you doing? Playing Aussie rules?
-Very funny.
-Look, you win some, you lose some.
-It'll get better.
-You think so?
Yeah.
-And what if the team splits up
and we don't even exist anymore?
What do you mean, breaks up?
You're gonna give up?
-All of you?
-You should see us on the field.
We're playing like a bunch of zombies.
-What is the coach doing about it?
-She's doing the best she can.
Well, stick with it.
The coach is the boss. Always.
We are sticking with it.
We're doing everything she tells us.
Well, maybe you need to try a bit harder.
Listen, Dad,
all the kids at school, their parents are
helping them with sport.
That's good.
Well, I was wondering, you know,
the guys at school are asking me
if you wanna be our coach.
-You already got a coach.
-I know that.
We appreciate it.
It's just that it's not working out.
-You know what I mean?
-Yeah, I know what you mean.
You're on a losing streak
and you think it's the coach's fault.
-You don't understand.
-No, I understand, I do, I understand.
You want me to walk in,
shove the coach out of the way,
and create miracles.
I can't, Nick. I can't.
Anyway, I'm finished with football. No.
You want us to help.
What can I do?
Forget about it.
A debate against Riverdale?
You find that amusing, Bill?
Well, I don't know about amusing,
but Riverdale?
Those kids are in the top 5%
of the HSC every year.
Bit out of their league, aren't they?
Out of our league?
What would they want with the likes of us?
What do you mean by "the likes of us"?
Well, you wouldn't actually call our lot,
a bunch of intellectual giants now,
would you?
What would you call them? Let me guess.
Hey, come on now.
Don't get all defensive on me.
I'm not.
It's just that
maybe I recognize their limitations
a bit better than you guys, that's all.
Well, evidently, the head
of the English department at Riverdale
has a little bit more faith in them
than you do.
Otherwise she wouldn't be challenging us,
would she?
Yeah.
I'll bet she needed some way to take
her little darlings on an excursion.
You know, see how the other half lives.
The thing that worries me?
is actually getting
any of them willing to do it.
I mean, you can lead a horse to water--
Look, there are kids in my class
who would jump at the chance.
And I think they're the intellectual equal
of any kid at Riverdale.
Well, then,
here's their chance to prove it.
Don't be too hard on him.
He's had a stupid life.
Glad to hear you feel
so confident about your kids.
Yes, of course I do. Why?
I thought,
seeing you're so proud of them,
you might want
an opportunity to show them off.
No, I am not selecting
the debating team.
Okay, I'm not trying
to put you on the spot,
but if you feel they're not up to it?
Very subtle, Graham.
Have you been taking lessons
from Mr. Southgate?
-Can I talk to you about it at recess?
-Yes.
Slow down, guys!
It is not a race for the life boats.
Hey!
Hey, Nick, did you ask him or what?
Not yet. I don't think he'd be interested.
Well, how do you know
if you don't ask him?
-I just don't think he would.
-Yeah, but you promised me, man.
I didn't promise you anything.
I said I might ask him,
and now I'm saying I don't want to.
Okay? So, just drop it.
All right, man. All right, relax.
Hey, Chaka.
-Hi, Con.
Bye, Con.
-Hey, Chaka, wanna meet me after school?
You know, go down to Ruby's?
I'm busy. I'm helping Peter with his math.
What about tomorrow then?
-She's busy then, too.
Thursday?
Look, I think
she's trying to tell you something.
Yeah, what? What are you?
I don't know. Rack off, hairy legs.
I don't know.
Rack off, hairy legs.
Hey. Smooth talker there.
Did you see that? Did you see that?
See how she had
a little twinkle in her eye?
You know what she's telling me, mate?
She wants me.
Can I have some quiet, please?
When I have your complete and undivided
and very respectful attention?
Shut up, you dickheads.
Can't you see she's in the class?
Thank you, Con.
Right.
Mr. Brown would like to
make an announcement,
before we start class.
No! I knew
I should have been more careful.
You're pregnant, aren't you?
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, Mr. Rivers.
I'm just here to tell you that
we've been challenged
by Riverdale High School to a debate.
Yes, I know.
I knew you'd all be very excited.
But the best part is that,
Miss Milano has offered to select
the Hartley team from this class.
Yes, I can see you're all very interested,
so, perhaps we can meet tomorrow afternoon
when you've selected your team.
No personal favors, sir.
The topic, by the way, is that
Australia would be better as a republic,
rather than a monarchy.
Perhaps you'd like to give it some thought
between now and tomorrow, okay?
Mr. Brown, what's a republic?
-What's a monarchy?
-What the hell is a debate?
Perhaps Miss Milano could answer
those questions.
Thank you very much, Mr. Brown.
All right, all right.
Do we have any volunteers?
No.
-I don't think so.
All right, doesn't matter.
We've got plenty of time.
Now, Rose, what's that you're reading?
It's a newspaper, Miss.
Quick, quick, turn to the sports page
and read about Hartley's soccer team's
big win over Riverdale.
Listen, why don't you just suck
a greasy fat one?
I don't want to hear anything
about soccer, thank you very much.
Con, please sit down.
Peter, would you be quiet?
And Rose, can you put that paper away?
I'm just trying to find stuff
for the new edition of Gutta Press.
Well, I'd appreciate it if you did
your plagiarizing in your own time, okay?
Right. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.
Have you all finished reading it?
Yeah.
Okay, now, what do we think
Mr. Huxley is saying
about the human condition?
We're animals, Miss.
Speak for yourself.
-Anyone else?
He's saying, if we don't fight
our oppressors, we become their slaves.
Yeah. I'll be your slave any day, babe.
Dream on, Bordino.
All right. Now,
I'd like us to discuss
some of the major characters in it.
Turn to, um, page?
What? Intellectually inferior?
It's been taken completely out of context.
Did you actually use the term
"intellectually inferior"?
Absolutely not.
Mr. Longley made that one up on his own.
Well, I mean, it sort of sounds like
you're blaming their poor academic ability
on where their parents were born,
if you know what I mean.
I know what you mean.
What I'm trying to say is that all I did
was agree with him that
given the circumstances,
they probably sometimes--
-Look, he said it, but you agreed to it.
-Excuse me?
I didn't agree with anybody.
He answered his own questions.
He probably wrote the article in his head
on his way back to the office.
Yeah, right. This is the guy
you were going to use
to help us get the Disadvantaged Schools
Component, right?
-Yes.
-Yeah, well, it sounds like he used us.
It does, rather, doesn't it?
Thanks for putting it so succinctly, Yola.
Look, it's?
It won't rest here, I assure you.
I've already spoken to the editor
and he agrees that
the reporter has drawn
inaccurate conclusions
of some of our students.
Just say it. Just say it.
He's a bloody racist.
It is a word I would favor.
However, he's not likely to agree to
something as sueable as that.
I'll? I'll keep you
posted, all right?
Look, it's just the media people,
that's all it is.
"Deloraine was at pains
to emphasize the need
for improved facilities and teaching aids
at Hartley.
'What you must remember,' he said,
'is that most of these kids come from
a melting pot of ethnic backgrounds.'"
What a wanker!
"He went on to explain how this results
in a lack of drive amongst students.
Added to understaffing
and equipment shortages,
the net result was a body of students,
best described as
intellectually inferior."
Can you believe that?
Intellectually inferior.
What does that mean?
It means your principal thinks
we're a bunch of morons!
No, he's right in a way, though, isn't he?
I mean, some of us are stuffed
'cause of where we're from.
Speak for yourself, Chaka,
thanks very much.
I don't see it like that.
What are you gonna do about it?
Kick Riverdale's butt in this poxy debate,
for starters.
Can't you see? We've got a chance here
to show everyone that we're not
a bunch of dickheads.
-Well, you can count me in.
-Me, too!
Yeah, right.
-I'm serious, man.
Man, you guys are a bunch of losers.
Where's your fighting spirit?
Hey, well, if you think I'm gonna get up
in front of the whole school,
and make a total dick of myself with him,
Con Bordino,
you've got another thing coming.
-You're full of it, Danni.
-You're full of it.
Nice one, Con.
What did I do?
-I'm on your side, man.
-You wish, Con, you wish.
Women.
Sir? I want to be on the debating team.
Really?
-We should be doing more things like this.
It's good experience
for when we leave school
to have to go and do interviews and stuff.
Yeah.
And I also wanna show Mr. Deloraine
that his attitude sucks.
Right.
I want to show these guys that
just 'cause we're a bunch of wogs,
doesn't mean we're idiots.
I wanna kick their asses.
Do you know what I mean?
Yep, I know what you mean.
Okay, tomorrow at two o'clock?
Yeah, two o'clock. Great.
Okay, good.
-Sir? Are they any good?
-Who, Riverdale?
Yeah, they got a fair reputation.
-Miss Milano.
-Mrs. Poulos.
Hello. Look, I'm sorry
if I'm bothering you--
No, look, no, not at all.
Um, I'm just heading up to soccer--
Actually, that's why I'm here.
-Soccer?
-Um.
Nick said you're having trouble
with the team,
so I thought
maybe I could do something to help.
That's really
very kind of you, Mrs. Poulos.
Irini. Irini, please.
Irini.
-So?
What's the problem?
Look, there really isn't a problem.
It's just?
we haven't been going too well,
that's all.
No, the problem's with the coach.
Well, you got a lot to do,
maybe you don't have the time.
I don't have the skills and I know it.
So, maybe you'd like another coach.
-I'd love it.
You want to volunteer for the job?
-I don't think so.
No, you're right.
I don't have the time either.
We don't even have a manager. It's stupid.
Well, maybe I could be the manager.
-You want to be the manager?
-Yeah, why not?
But have you ever done
anything like this before?
No. Well, have you ever been
a coach before?
No.
Well? So what time's training?
Now. You might as well take that.
We'll be late.
-Nick tells me you've got no uniforms.
-Yeah, you're right.
Okay, guys,
I've got some news for you.
We've got ourselves a new manager
and it's going to be Mrs. Poulos.
Mrs. Poulos?
I'd like you to
make her feel welcome, please.
Right, now, Mrs. Poulos is going to be
in charge of
all the nuts and bolts stuff from now on.
And I think she's gonna make
a big difference.
-And you're gonna have new uniforms.
-That's not all we need.
-Nick, did you ask him?
-Give it a rest, Davo.
Ask who about what?
Nick's dad about coaching the team.
You thought he'd make a better coach
than Miss Milano here,
who's put all the time in
to make you into a team.
Hey, it was a stupid idea.
I've been trying to tell them,
but they don't listen.
Look, I don't think it's a stupid idea.
I think it's a great idea if he'd agree.
-You think he'd agree, Mrs. Poulos?
-You wouldn't be offended?
No, not at all. I'd be thrilled, really.
Hey, there's no use. I asked him already
and he said no.
Well, maybe, I don't know.
I was just thinking
if Miss Milano were to ask him.
Yeah.
I mean, just to ask him.
-Yeah!
You've got to get your father
in the right mood, don't you, Nick?
Do you think I'm crazy?
You think I've got rocks in my head?
Look, I'm sorry.
I just thought that you might be--
You thought wrong.
-Sorry.
-I work shift work
at a factory on an assembly line.
You think I've got time to chase
a bunch of crazy kids around
with a football?
-You're right. I had no right to ask.
-You did. I asked you here.
-Anyway, I better be going. See you.
-Excuse me.
You wanna do something for him?
Keep him at his desk a little more
and on the soccer field a little less.
Look, Mr. Poulos, I only asked
because the kids told me
you used to play for Greece.
Sure, I used to play for Greece.
Now what do I do?
I put bumper bars on motor cars.
I'll show you to the door.
-Night. Night, Nick.
-Good night.
What the hell is wrong with you?
-Now, listen, mate.
-She was only trying to help.
-I already told you, no!
You think I'm gonna change my mind
because of a pretty face?
-What's the matter with you?
-Nothing.
You made that girl so embarrassed,
she didn't know where to look.
Why did she come here
asking me to coach the soccer team?
Now, the same day,
my wife becomes their manager.
-Don't you think I know what's going on?
-You think there's something going on?
We're cooking up something
behind your back.
Listen, I know what I see.
-There's nothing going on.
-Good.
Actually, we don't care
if you help us or not anymore.
Even better.
-But if you think
that I'm going to tell our son that
he can't do what you were doing
when you were his age,
well, you can think again.
-Rose, face it, look, you need me.
-Like leprosy.
I'd be really good.
Look, Con, the only reason
you want to be on the team
is 'cause Chaka's on it.
You think if you're going to
hang around her long enough,
she's gonna learn to like you.
Yeah, so?
All right, all right, Con.
You're on the team.
There's no one else.
Whoa!
Hey, we meet today at two o'clock in 4B.
-Two o'clock?
-Is that a problem, Con?
-I've got training. I can't.
-Look, are you in or out?
Are you in or out, Con?
I'm in, all right?
-Have you got a minute?
-Sure.
I just wanted to apologize
about George the other night.
He's not normally like that.
Please, there's no need
to apologize, all right?
I've been thinking about it
and he was right.
It was unfair of me to ask him
to do something like that.
It was my idea, remember?
Look, he had a right to refuse you,
but he had no right to be so rude.
Well, maybe we just caught him
in a bad time.
I was so embarrassed.
Nick was so embarrassed,
he won't even talk about it.
Really, please, it's fine.
I think the whole
thing's my fault anyway.
It was my stupid idea in the first place.
-What, the soccer team?
-Yeah.
It hasn't been a raging success, has it?
Listen, Christina, it's a fantastic thing.
You did something for those kids.
What do you mean, stupid?
I've created some sort of monster.
Now, I got all their hopes up,
and now they're
starting to feel ashamed of it.
And all because their dumb coach
doesn't know that
Ferich and Bosnovich play for Australia.
It's Bosnich, Christina.
You know, it doesn't matter.
It's the game that counts.
And I don't know the first thing about it.
Look, I'm a lousy coach
and they know it, right?
See you.
-See you.
So, any of you ever been
in a debating team before?
Okay, it's okay. It's pretty simple.
There are two teams,
three speakers per team,
three minutes per speaker.
The bell rings after two minutes,
then again at the end.
Don't they usually pick the topic
just before the debate?
Yes, but Mrs. Williamson and I
thought that
because the Republican issue
was so current, that we'd waive that rule,
and it would give us
better time to prepare.
They've decided they're going to win,
so they thought they'd chuck us a bone.
Yeah, maybe. Anyway?
-Um.
-Who's the ref?
The adjudicator
is from Macquarie University.
She's a second-year
political science student,
with a lot of debating experience.
Look, are there any fouls, penalties,
anything like that?
Get real, Con.
No, no, that's a valid question.
It's not quite like soccer, Con.
The idea of debating is to
present your case clearly.
That's the first speaker's job.
Back it up and defend it
against the opposition,
that's the second speaker.
And the third speaker sums it all up.
So it's just like after the kickoff,
you dribble the ball upfield,
run off the ball
to set up attacking formation,
put it in the cross to the penalty area
and shoot for a goal,
so it's just like soccer.
Yeah, I suppose.
Beautiful.
Nick, come and have a look.
Ta-da!
What do you think?
-Yeah, it looks pretty good.
It took us forever!
And I've ordered you some new jumpers,
so you can look like a real team.
Yeah, what if we don't have
a real team anymore?
Of course you've got a real team.
I'm the manager.
Mum, new jumpers aren't going to
make us play any better.
He's absolutely right.
A banner and new jumpers aren't going to
turn them into a real team.
For that you need skill.
Yeah, you should know all about that.
You're the one that
played for Greece, right?
That was a long time ago.
Maybe you don't know so much anymore.
Nick?
-He's scared of making a fool of himself.
-That's why he doesn't want to coach us.
-You don't talk to your father like that.
Tell me the real reason
why you stopped playing?
Was it because you got injured?
Or because you were so scared
you couldn't do it no more?
Nick, come back
and say you're sorry.
-Let him go.
-He doesn't mean it, George--
-He means it, all right.
You want a cup of coffee?
No, thanks, I'm all right.
What's on your mind?
Nothing.
You know, maybe you should
just talk to Nick.
He's got no way of understanding
what we left behind in Greece.
I mean, how could he?
Nothing to talk about.
You know, I think you're turning into
a really selfish man.
Come on, sir. That's a load of bull.
You know that.
Look, just because something survived
more than a hundred years,
doesn't mean you can't change it.
Yeah, what about America?
They're a dominant force in the world,
and they've never even had a royal family.
Why should we need one?
Yeah, all they do is spend
their taxpayers' money
on chintzy palaces and Rolls Royces.
And skiing holidays in the Bahamas.
You don't ski in the Bahamas,
you dickhead.
Water skiing, goober.
Okay, okay, that's good.
You seem to have the general idea.
-That's all there is to it then?
-That's all there is to it.
What I'd like to do now is work on ways
we might structure the arguments better.
Other than that, looking very good.
Sweet, let's kick ass.
I mean, let's go get 'em.
What do you think, Mr. Deloraine?
In with a chance?
-Well and truly.
-Bet he wouldn't put any hard cash on it.
I'm very impressed. I think,
if enthusiasm counts for anything,
you'll do well.
In fact, I'd put money on it.
One other thing. Mrs. Williamson called
from Riverdale
about who's gonna argue for what.
As the host school,
I thought it would be diplomatic
to offer them the choice.
They've chosen to
argue for the affirmative.
Still, I think you'll make
just as good a case
for the monarchy
as you did for the republic.
Keep up the good work.
We're Republicans. What happened?
What about this work here I've done?
We've just been arguing for
the other side--
Now, it's all right. It doesn't matter.
-It doesn't matter now?
-If it doesn't matter, then why--
This is what debating is all about.
It's an intellectual exercise,
not a passionate rave.
Well, it sucks, if you ask me.
I was gonna make myself
a cup of tea. You want one?
No, thanks.
I'm sorry.
Yes, so you should be.
You remember the beach?
-What beach?
-Astra.
Yeah, yeah.
-Good?
All expenses paid.
-Panathinaikos Football Club.
-I remember.
The balcony, silk sheets.
I remember.
-Magic?
You sorry we came to Australia?
Is that what's bugging you?
You're sorry you gave all that up?
No.
I thought it was the best thing to do
under the circumstances.
After the injury, Nick was right,
I got frightened.
I got frightened,
not that I couldn't play,
but that I wouldn't be as good as before.
I mean, you are a god out there
on the football field--
My God!
-Yeah.
I was. Come on. I was a god out there.
Okay, you're a god.
Yeah. Well?
On the sideline,
you're just an ordinary man.
Yeah.
And I thought?
this would be a better country
for an ordinary man and his family.
Yeah. It is.
-You think?
-Yeah.
Lately,
I come home from work,
I walk down the street and I think?
What have I given you?
Look at me, I'm an old man.
-No, you're not.
-Working on a production line.
Driving a clapped-out car
I can't even afford to repair.
Living in the same place for 15 years.
It's a house. Who wants a palace?
George.
Look at me.
My life's with you.
I'm happy with you.
You ever hear me complain?
Hey, come on, maybe a little.
A little bit.
You're great.
You know, when I see Nick out there
on the football field?
I see my dreams out there.
And I want him to have them.
But I also want him to have a future.
He'll have a future.
If he wants to fail,
he can do it all by himself.
Now, you can give him your dreams.
That's what he wants.
You've got so much to give.
Yeah.
Maybe.
You're beautiful.
Are we really gonna be duped
by the government?
Are we naive enough to believe
what they tell us?
That by becoming a republic,
by callously discarding a structure
that is the whole foundation
of Australian life as we know it,
we'll be endowed with
an amazing sense of patriotic spirit.
Get real. I'll tell you
what patriotic spirit is.
It's years of tradition.
A monarchy that's been in place
since Federation.
Like the legend of the Anzacs,
and watching the MCG test match
on Boxing Day,
and like Princess Di
on the cover of Women's Weekly.
The opposition made reference,
on more than one occasion,
to the age of constitutional monarchy.
As well she might.
It's served us well?
If this guy doesn't wipe that smile
off his face?
I'm gonna punch his nose out.
But if this withered old institution
was a human being,
it'd be sunning itself on the porch
with a good book and a hot cup of Milo.
Isn't it time
we pensioned the poor thing off?
I mean?
You just can't pull something down
like that that's been?
that's been propping up
the whole politics of the country
for a hundred years?
Aww.
?and expect that
everything's gonna be all right.
Anyway, that's all I've got to say.
It was so bad.
-No, it was fantastic. It was beautiful.
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
the, speaker for the opposition
took the words right out of my mouth.
Propping up the politics of the country
for over a hundred years.
Well, that is exactly what
this creaky old monarchy has been doing.
Propping up
this decaying system of government
for far, far too long.
All right, Davo, your go.
This is stupid.
We should we working on defense.
Yeah, Miss. We should try
and work out some tactics
-so they don't score so many goals.
-I don't believe you guys!
You're talking like a bunch of losers.
How are you ever supposed to win a game
if all you ever talk about
is getting creamed by the other side?
-Well, we do, don't we?
-Just kick the ball, Davo!
-Kick it yourself.
-You're off the team then!
Leave it, Nick, all right!
No, as far as I'm concerned, he can go.
You're a filthy loser, Davo.
Tell that to your old man.
He's the one that let us down.
What'd you say? Come here and say it.
You saying something about
my old man, loser?
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
No swearing.
This guy hasn't got a chance.
Check this guy out.
What is he wearing?
You watch, man. He's going to blow it.
What a greaseball, man.
Madam Speaker, ladies and gentlemen?
We've all heard the opposition over here
rabbiting on about how terrific
this country would be
if it was a republic.
Well, personally, I think that
it's a load of crap.
What'd you say?
What'd you say about my father?
Well, it's true, isn't it?
We might have had a chance
if he had coached us.
Maybe he didn't want to.
Hey, you know what I reckon?
'Cause it's all crap
about him playing for Greece.
I bet he doesn't even know
which end of the ball to kick.
Nick, stop it. Nick!
He insulted my father!
Why don't you let your father sort it out?
What are you going on about?
What's he doing here now?
The fact is, it was stuffed
right from the start.
Greece was split up into city states.
But all they ever did was plot and scheme
and do deals
to stab each other in the back.
But Aristotle, you know who that is?
Aristotle.
A wog.
Aristotle knew the best thing to do,
was to put everything together
and put a king in power,
so the aristocrats couldn't run the place
and rip everything off for themselves.
Aristotle was a legend.
-Still looking for a coach?
-We've already got a coach, remember?
What about an assistant?
Yeah, all right.
You wanna trash the monarchy?
Do you? Go ahead. It doesn't bother me.
You just remember that
what you're trying to do
was tried 2,000 years ago.
And it didn't work then.
You wanna take us back 2,000 years?
Go ahead!
See if I care.
Just don't come running to me,
when it comes crashing down
like a big pile of Republican crap.
-Now what's your name?
-David.
David? All right,
you're attacking, I'm the defender.
You're gonna get the ball past me.
Come on.
Nope.
You see what he does with his hands,
like this, when you're gonna dummy?
Why don't you write me a letter,
give Australia Post some business?
Never, never let the other person know
what you wanna do. Number one rule.
Keep them guessing, okay?
Right.
-Let's go over here.
What'd you say to him?
Just told him he stays at home
and dreams too much.
He needs a bit of fresh air.
-Thanks, Mum.
-It's okay.
Now, you are amazing. How did you do it?
It's my job. I'm the manager.
-I'm gonna go and get those boots now.
-Okay, see you tomorrow.
-Bye.
-Bye, thanks.
Nick?
Yes, yes, come on, Davo!
David! Go, David.
Just the man I wanted to see.
Never let it be said that
I welsh on my bets.
You'll have it by the end of the month.
Mind you,
I do think the moral victory is mine.
I agree. Hartley by a nose, I reckon.
Especially after Con Bordino's effort.
But judge's decision is final, I'm afraid.
Were you betting on the debate?
Just a joke, really.
And you bet Riverdale.
Well, somebody had to,
or there wouldn't have been a bet.
How many pieces of silver did you win?
Enough for a computer for Yola.
Listen, how are we gonna pay for it
if you don't get the money
from the Disadvantaged Schools thing?
I wouldn't write
that possibility off just yet.
Our paparazzo friend, Mr. Longley,
has been directed by his editor to write
a more balanced piece on Hartley High.
Hasn't he done enough damage?
This time it comes from the intervention
of the education department.
Someone down there this week
saw the article
and brought it to the attention
of the minister, no less.
You're kidding.
If we play our cards right,
we could become a cause c?lebre
with all this publicity we're getting.
That's fantastic.
Failing that, I could become Con's agent,
put him out
on the public speaking circuit.
Think I'd clean up, don't you?
Couldn't miss it. Night, Jim.
Night, Graham.
Night, Miss Iscariot.
Ooh! Ooh!
Where'd you learn all that stuff from?
Did you swallow an encyclopedia for lunch?
Hey, man, what can I say?
-It comes naturally.
-Don't let it go to your head, all right?
And how do you know all that Greek stuff?
Rose, when you live with my mum
for 17 years,
that's all your hear every mealtime.
"Aristotle knew
what was good for the world.
Politicians have got soup for brains."
So you are a monarchist.
No, no, no way, man.
I thought you really meant what you said.
No, I was just kidding. You know me.
-I've got to go.
-Con.
-What are you doing now?
-Nothing, why?
Well, would you want to go down to Ruby's?
Aren't you helping Rivers
with his maths work?
That can wait.
-Are you sure?
-Yeah, you want to?
Yeah, all right.
The foot comes out like a piston,
the ball goes smashing into the net,
the final whistle blows, it's all over.
That's it.
-Legend.
The funny thing is, you know,
they wrote about that goal
like I found the ball and kicked it.
Not true.
The ball found me.
I was already in the air.
What did it feel like when you
smashed the ball, scored,
win the game, you're up there
holding the trophy, crowd screaming.
It was great.
But I tell ya, it was nothing
compared to the feeling when I saw
the look on Irini's face.
What was she doing there?
No car. We'll have to start dinner.
-What was she doing there?
-She was there.
We'd met a week before.
I think I kicked that goal for her.
And I'll tell you something else.
That first time, she kissed me.
Yeah, yeah.
Not the other way.
Don't ever let her tell you different.
-Yeah. Yeah.
Telephone.
Hello? Yeah.
Okay. Thank you.
Yes, of course. Thank you.
Who was that?
There's been an accident.
Your mother's in hospital.
-What?
-Your mother's in hospital.
What happened?
-The police just rang and--
-What'd they say?
I don't know. We have to get there.
-Tell me what happened.
-Come.
How bad did they say it was?
-I don't know.
-Tell me!
Get yourself moving. Come on.