Headless Chickens (2023): Season 1, Episode 1 - 24 horas - full transcript
Beto gets his first taste of success as an agent, only for a powerful rival to poach his star client away from him.
-Hello?
-Beto. Beto. Beto. Fuck. Beto.
Willy? What's wrong?
It won't go down, man.
Five hours and it won't go down.
-The fever?
-My dick! Fuck!
You're 23!
Why the fuck are you taking Viagra?
I'd never had a threesome.
I didn't want to screw it up.
There were three girls,
so three pills.
Fuck... Two hours
to the press conference!
Fuck the press conference!
I'm gonna lose my dick!
He shut himself in the bathroom.
I think he had a fit.
He drank half a bottle of whisky.
-Half a bottle of whisky.
-Yes.
Fuck.
I can't watch him 24/7.
You're his brother! Shit!
What do you think I do?
I spend all day hiding the blow!
-Willy, it's me! Are you all right?
-No, I'm not all right!
My dick's gonna fall off!
I'll look like a Playmobil.
Okay, relax, open up.
Willy, listen, listen.
Your dream was to play for Madrid.
Since you were a boy.
You've already done the hardest part,
you've killed it this year,
you've shown everyone
what a huge talent you have.
That boy's this close
to make his dream come true.
Can you say the talent thing again?
I've seen you do things
I haven't seen even when Nardinho
was starting out.
Willy?
Come here, come. Relax.
Right, let's see that dick.
Fuck, Willy...
Okay, fine, we need a doctor.
HEADLESS CHICKENS
They should be here already.
Did something happen?
Tell me they're all right, please.
God, I'm going to have a fit.
-Do you have any Lexatin?
-I've got a joint for later.
-What?
-Don't ask.
-Where's Willy?
-In makeup. Go to him.
-Okay.
-Let's go.
Has the president come?
I don't know.
Is he that guy up there?
That's the janitor, Cris.
The president is there.
Oh, shit.
Have you seen the crowd?
There are journalists from China.
Please, don't try to be funny.
The things we have to put up with
are beyond belief.
-I'm...
-I know. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
What a contract you landed, love,
just wonderful.
-To Willy's credit, he's an ace.
-Yes, they're all aces...
inside the field.
Off it, they're morons with power.
-Congratulations on the renewal.
-Thanks a lot.
Wonderful. And a bit of advice,
don't trust anyone.
They're all motherfuckers here.
-Who was that asshole?
-Martinelli. Nardinho's agent.
Okay. Okay. It's doing fine.
Good morning, everyone.
We called this press conference
to announce the continuity
and the renewal of Willy Sanabria.
I'll leave you with him
so you can ask questions.
-Congratulations, Willy.
-Bravo!
How does it feel to become
one of the highest-paid players
in the League?
What a gift of the gab!
He actually sounded smart!
This mania for miking them up...
Valdano's done so much harm.
Guys, we're a trending topic!
Luis Enrique is following us!
Remember: "Beto, you're going
to fall, crack your skull..."
Beto speaking in the third person.
Please, you'll get a big head.
No, that's why I have you,
to bring me down.
Although you're standing
before a genius,
none of this would've been possible
without you.
Cris, I know football
means diddly to you,
but you're an ace at what you do.
Mario, without you,
I wouldn't have a clue.
Armando, you know about football
more than anyone here,
but put on a fucking shirt.
And, Miguel,
my personal Jiminy Cricket.
He could be making a fortune,
but here he is.
-Do you want us all to cry, or...?
-Yes! And call me Cap'n.
-Please...
-Cap'n!
Cap'n! Cap'n! Cap'n!
Guys, guys...
Congrats, everyone. Thanks a lot.
Now get to work.
Let's go!
-Hello.
-Hello. How are you?
-Shall I order you something?
-No, I'll just have this.
What did you think
of the interview?
-Fine. He wasn't nervous.
-The tie was a bit weird, huh?
-The tie didn't suit him.
-What a cheek. You didn't see it.
Okay, no. I was with you in spirit.
Didn't you notice?
-Yes. I even got horny.
-You did?
Excuse me.
The same one for him. Thanks.
I'm hungry.
Come to my place, tonight.
-Sure, we'll get Japanese.
-No.
No, I want you to come
to my place and stay.
-Are you sure?
-You practically live at my place.
Sure, but that "practically" changes
a lot of things.
Do you feel like it?
-You know I do.
-Yeah?
-You want to get it, right?
-I do.
Go on, get it.
-That's strange.
-What?
Willy's not taking calls
and he canceled dinner.
What a creep.
Promise you won't get mad?
Shit, Willy...
This morning, when the press
conference ended and you left,
-Martinelli approached me.
-Martinelli?
He said if I went with him,
at Christmas he'd take me to Madrid.
And what did you tell him?
-What did you tell him, Willy?
-Beto, you have to understand.
-Is this a joke?
-You promised you wouldn't get mad.
What the fuck are you saying?
We talked about this.
One or two years more
and you'd join Madrid as a star.
Beto, you know
I appreciate you, loads,
but I have to think
about my career now.
What the fuck have we been doing
all these years?
Okay, okay, all right, calm down.
I...
I opened the doors to my home
when you had nothing.
I gave you money from my own pocket.
I paid for your father's funeral.
-And we'll never forget that.
-Shut your fucking mouth!
Willy...
I started a fucking agency for you.
Look at me, Willy.
-Fucking look at me!
-Okay.
Willy, you can't do this to me now,
okay?
You can't dump me now.
It's fine, okay? It's fine.
Call Martinelli now
and tell him to piss off, alright?
-Come on.
-He can't. We've already signed.
Shit, man, how many times
did I ask you for some wheels?
I was so thrilled about that...
You're a top fucking agent,
you'll do great.
I'll recommend you.
Next time your dick falls off,
call Martinelli.
So romantic.
Sure. Tell him about the shrink,
about Diego.
Diego says there was one who said
he was Hitler,
another said he was Napoleon,
and I said I was Maradona
and nobody believed me.
You son of a bitch.
Jeez, the guy looks mad.
Excuse me, please.
Don't take it personally.
I told you not to trust anyone.
In Madrid, you'll fuck his career.
How long will he play, two minutes?
They'll end up trading him.
The dickhead's thrilled
about wearing white.
He's not ready!
They'll eat him alive.
If you want to be happy in this life,
do something else.
I'm fucking sick of your advice.
Why did you stop playing football?
You were good... almost.
Did something happen?
Yes. I'll tell you in my book.
I've got a copy here.
It's called Go Fuck Yourself.
Terrific. You're so funny, kid.
You've got a silver tongue.
Get a job on a talk show.
I missed my grandfather's funeral
to take his nieces to Disneyland.
How could he?
I'd put two thugs onto him.
Mario, cancel all our meetings today.
Armando, call the guys,
do the rounds, calm them down.
I don't want all of them flying off.
Cris, prepare something,
-without attacking Willy.
-Really?
I can post some memes...
No, guys. We have to think
about the future.
This agency isn't Willy.
Plus, the winter market is coming.
"Winter is coming".
I have some ideas, some names.
Let's not lose heart
before we start, okay?
So, come on, to work! Let's go!
Miguel, come with me, please.
Right, what's on your mind?
-What?
-You said you had some ideas.
I've got no fucking idea.
Look what's in the safe.
The same as yesterday. Around 40,000.
Christ, I could've had
a little office in Colmenar Viejo
and I invested it in
the fucking office on the Castellana!
Five minutes of meditation a day
are working wonders, I see.
How much to last the year?
Around 200,000.
With that we'd have to pay salaries,
offices, and extras.
Beto, talk to the bank.
-Hi, Beto.
-Felipe, I'm coming, okay?
-We need to talk.
-I'm leaving. Come tomorrow.
Don't fuck with me, man.
I'll be there in five.
I can't, Beto, I'm in a hurry.
Yes, like that signed T-shirt
for your son's communion.
-What do you need?
-Not much. A problem came up.
-I need a little money.
-I'd love to, but I can't.
-You're in debt.
-In debt?
-You are 57,400 euros in the red.
-No, no, no.
That's impossible.
Our accounts are sound.
Not from the company,
on the American Express.
Fucking bi...!
What a fright.
You'll break the glass.
It's mine
and I'll break it if I want.
-Why won't you pick up?
-Chill out, Alberto.
-Willy's not my fault.
-But what...?
I just left kundalini yoga class,
don't fuck up my energy.
-57,000 euros in the red! 57,000!
-I had a lot of expenses.
-I had to use the card.
-It's the girls' card!
Your girls spend. They won't get
a six-pack of panties from Primark.
You had your boobs done.
You got bigger boobs!
-That's not your problem.
-It isn't?
You got them done with my money
and you blame the girls.
I needed it.
I live off my body, Alberto.
-It's good that you admit it!
-Yell at me in front of the girls!
-Hi, Dad.
-The girls know very well
who yells at who in this house.
-Okay, I'm out of here.
-Bye, honey.
Why do you do this to me?
You make a fortune on TV!
The new gym bled me dry.
I'll give it back in the summer.
I don't know who did them,
but one's higher than the other.
I'm going to talk about you
on the show, and I won't hold back.
Don't poison yourself, viper.
Go left.
-Presi, a photo.
-Presi, Presi, Presi...
-Presi, I'm Beto Martín.
-Hey, Beto.
-How are you?
-You heard about Willy.
-Yes. These things happen.
-But they want to sign with Madrid
in this market.
Half the season is over!
Willy's great, you could tell
a big team would sign him.
But José Ángel,
you signed him for millions!
If Madrid takes him from us,
they'll have to pay the current rate.
You speculated with Willy
to make money?
-He was going sooner or later.
-Fuck that!
You did a deal with Martinelli
and fucked up my best player!
Lower your voice.
You have to sharpen your fangs,
or you'll get the same result
as when you played.
Weren't you a football player?
Beto!
INCOMING CALL. SONIA.
Tired of losing? Play like Nardinho.
-Don't settle, you're a champion.
-Bet with the best.
Play poker online
and show what you're worth.
Start winning!
Fucking Nardinho, two months
without one goal.
Fuck the League, the Champions...
I'm calling the police.
Got it, squirt? I'll call the police.
Fuck, enough.
You bastard! You took 40,000 from me!
Okay, okay, okay.
Man. You're Beto.
Yeah, get out of here. 'Bye.
No, no. You played for Villarreal,
-then for Madrid.
-You want a prize?
You scored that bicycle kick goal,
that knocked us out.
-A great goal.
-A great goal. Fucking great.
I'm studying journalism
to work in sports.
-Got a cigarette?
-I don't smoke.
A journalist? You don't need
to study for that. Ask my ex-wife.
-What happened? Did you get injured?
-A lot of pressure. I left...
-A lot of drugs?
-Look, fuck you. Go fuck yourself.
-Journalist... Journalist.
-Yes.
Do you want an exclusive?
A fucking great exclusive.
Beto! Beto!
Beto! Beto!
Beto! Beto!
Beto! Beto!
Hey...
Hey!
You can't be here.
Hey... Weren't you a footballer?
Hi, it's Sonia, leave a message
and I'll call you when I can. Thanks.
Miguel, don't worry
about the 40,000, okay? Because...
Put your ex's show on.
-What?
-Your ex's show, Beto. Now!
...but these are very,
very unpleasant images.
Let's see them once again...
Unfortunately,
I must admit it's not the first time
I've seen something like this.
Tell us something.
Do you still live from football?
Look, football...
I tell you, football is...
money, money, money.
Before, other things mattered too.
But now, everyone's an asshole.
Everyone, even the players.
Look at 'em,
they're like morons with power.
Oh, poor guy.
Nardinho...
The best in the world. The best.
28 years old.
He hasn't scored a goal
in two months.
He's this close
to being an ex-footballer.
And do you think he cares?
He doesn't give a fucking shit.
No more than he cares
about his tattoo, his hair,
his ad for cologne...
Fame, fame, it's all they want.
Fame, a swank car in front
of his fancy fucking house
and fucking.
Fucking everything, everything,
all the time. Everything.
This is Big Brother,
a fucking shitty show...
You know what? I'll tell you.
I, Beto Martín,
shit on fucking football.
I shit on fucking footb...
Fuck!
Nardinho.
Man, I was...
I was drunk!
I don't know what I said.
It was drunken bullshit, okay?
I'm sorry, okay?
Relax, I just want to talk.
I want you to be my agent.
Translated by: Francesca Villa
Iyuno
-Beto. Beto. Beto. Fuck. Beto.
Willy? What's wrong?
It won't go down, man.
Five hours and it won't go down.
-The fever?
-My dick! Fuck!
You're 23!
Why the fuck are you taking Viagra?
I'd never had a threesome.
I didn't want to screw it up.
There were three girls,
so three pills.
Fuck... Two hours
to the press conference!
Fuck the press conference!
I'm gonna lose my dick!
He shut himself in the bathroom.
I think he had a fit.
He drank half a bottle of whisky.
-Half a bottle of whisky.
-Yes.
Fuck.
I can't watch him 24/7.
You're his brother! Shit!
What do you think I do?
I spend all day hiding the blow!
-Willy, it's me! Are you all right?
-No, I'm not all right!
My dick's gonna fall off!
I'll look like a Playmobil.
Okay, relax, open up.
Willy, listen, listen.
Your dream was to play for Madrid.
Since you were a boy.
You've already done the hardest part,
you've killed it this year,
you've shown everyone
what a huge talent you have.
That boy's this close
to make his dream come true.
Can you say the talent thing again?
I've seen you do things
I haven't seen even when Nardinho
was starting out.
Willy?
Come here, come. Relax.
Right, let's see that dick.
Fuck, Willy...
Okay, fine, we need a doctor.
HEADLESS CHICKENS
They should be here already.
Did something happen?
Tell me they're all right, please.
God, I'm going to have a fit.
-Do you have any Lexatin?
-I've got a joint for later.
-What?
-Don't ask.
-Where's Willy?
-In makeup. Go to him.
-Okay.
-Let's go.
Has the president come?
I don't know.
Is he that guy up there?
That's the janitor, Cris.
The president is there.
Oh, shit.
Have you seen the crowd?
There are journalists from China.
Please, don't try to be funny.
The things we have to put up with
are beyond belief.
-I'm...
-I know. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
What a contract you landed, love,
just wonderful.
-To Willy's credit, he's an ace.
-Yes, they're all aces...
inside the field.
Off it, they're morons with power.
-Congratulations on the renewal.
-Thanks a lot.
Wonderful. And a bit of advice,
don't trust anyone.
They're all motherfuckers here.
-Who was that asshole?
-Martinelli. Nardinho's agent.
Okay. Okay. It's doing fine.
Good morning, everyone.
We called this press conference
to announce the continuity
and the renewal of Willy Sanabria.
I'll leave you with him
so you can ask questions.
-Congratulations, Willy.
-Bravo!
How does it feel to become
one of the highest-paid players
in the League?
What a gift of the gab!
He actually sounded smart!
This mania for miking them up...
Valdano's done so much harm.
Guys, we're a trending topic!
Luis Enrique is following us!
Remember: "Beto, you're going
to fall, crack your skull..."
Beto speaking in the third person.
Please, you'll get a big head.
No, that's why I have you,
to bring me down.
Although you're standing
before a genius,
none of this would've been possible
without you.
Cris, I know football
means diddly to you,
but you're an ace at what you do.
Mario, without you,
I wouldn't have a clue.
Armando, you know about football
more than anyone here,
but put on a fucking shirt.
And, Miguel,
my personal Jiminy Cricket.
He could be making a fortune,
but here he is.
-Do you want us all to cry, or...?
-Yes! And call me Cap'n.
-Please...
-Cap'n!
Cap'n! Cap'n! Cap'n!
Guys, guys...
Congrats, everyone. Thanks a lot.
Now get to work.
Let's go!
-Hello.
-Hello. How are you?
-Shall I order you something?
-No, I'll just have this.
What did you think
of the interview?
-Fine. He wasn't nervous.
-The tie was a bit weird, huh?
-The tie didn't suit him.
-What a cheek. You didn't see it.
Okay, no. I was with you in spirit.
Didn't you notice?
-Yes. I even got horny.
-You did?
Excuse me.
The same one for him. Thanks.
I'm hungry.
Come to my place, tonight.
-Sure, we'll get Japanese.
-No.
No, I want you to come
to my place and stay.
-Are you sure?
-You practically live at my place.
Sure, but that "practically" changes
a lot of things.
Do you feel like it?
-You know I do.
-Yeah?
-You want to get it, right?
-I do.
Go on, get it.
-That's strange.
-What?
Willy's not taking calls
and he canceled dinner.
What a creep.
Promise you won't get mad?
Shit, Willy...
This morning, when the press
conference ended and you left,
-Martinelli approached me.
-Martinelli?
He said if I went with him,
at Christmas he'd take me to Madrid.
And what did you tell him?
-What did you tell him, Willy?
-Beto, you have to understand.
-Is this a joke?
-You promised you wouldn't get mad.
What the fuck are you saying?
We talked about this.
One or two years more
and you'd join Madrid as a star.
Beto, you know
I appreciate you, loads,
but I have to think
about my career now.
What the fuck have we been doing
all these years?
Okay, okay, all right, calm down.
I...
I opened the doors to my home
when you had nothing.
I gave you money from my own pocket.
I paid for your father's funeral.
-And we'll never forget that.
-Shut your fucking mouth!
Willy...
I started a fucking agency for you.
Look at me, Willy.
-Fucking look at me!
-Okay.
Willy, you can't do this to me now,
okay?
You can't dump me now.
It's fine, okay? It's fine.
Call Martinelli now
and tell him to piss off, alright?
-Come on.
-He can't. We've already signed.
Shit, man, how many times
did I ask you for some wheels?
I was so thrilled about that...
You're a top fucking agent,
you'll do great.
I'll recommend you.
Next time your dick falls off,
call Martinelli.
So romantic.
Sure. Tell him about the shrink,
about Diego.
Diego says there was one who said
he was Hitler,
another said he was Napoleon,
and I said I was Maradona
and nobody believed me.
You son of a bitch.
Jeez, the guy looks mad.
Excuse me, please.
Don't take it personally.
I told you not to trust anyone.
In Madrid, you'll fuck his career.
How long will he play, two minutes?
They'll end up trading him.
The dickhead's thrilled
about wearing white.
He's not ready!
They'll eat him alive.
If you want to be happy in this life,
do something else.
I'm fucking sick of your advice.
Why did you stop playing football?
You were good... almost.
Did something happen?
Yes. I'll tell you in my book.
I've got a copy here.
It's called Go Fuck Yourself.
Terrific. You're so funny, kid.
You've got a silver tongue.
Get a job on a talk show.
I missed my grandfather's funeral
to take his nieces to Disneyland.
How could he?
I'd put two thugs onto him.
Mario, cancel all our meetings today.
Armando, call the guys,
do the rounds, calm them down.
I don't want all of them flying off.
Cris, prepare something,
-without attacking Willy.
-Really?
I can post some memes...
No, guys. We have to think
about the future.
This agency isn't Willy.
Plus, the winter market is coming.
"Winter is coming".
I have some ideas, some names.
Let's not lose heart
before we start, okay?
So, come on, to work! Let's go!
Miguel, come with me, please.
Right, what's on your mind?
-What?
-You said you had some ideas.
I've got no fucking idea.
Look what's in the safe.
The same as yesterday. Around 40,000.
Christ, I could've had
a little office in Colmenar Viejo
and I invested it in
the fucking office on the Castellana!
Five minutes of meditation a day
are working wonders, I see.
How much to last the year?
Around 200,000.
With that we'd have to pay salaries,
offices, and extras.
Beto, talk to the bank.
-Hi, Beto.
-Felipe, I'm coming, okay?
-We need to talk.
-I'm leaving. Come tomorrow.
Don't fuck with me, man.
I'll be there in five.
I can't, Beto, I'm in a hurry.
Yes, like that signed T-shirt
for your son's communion.
-What do you need?
-Not much. A problem came up.
-I need a little money.
-I'd love to, but I can't.
-You're in debt.
-In debt?
-You are 57,400 euros in the red.
-No, no, no.
That's impossible.
Our accounts are sound.
Not from the company,
on the American Express.
Fucking bi...!
What a fright.
You'll break the glass.
It's mine
and I'll break it if I want.
-Why won't you pick up?
-Chill out, Alberto.
-Willy's not my fault.
-But what...?
I just left kundalini yoga class,
don't fuck up my energy.
-57,000 euros in the red! 57,000!
-I had a lot of expenses.
-I had to use the card.
-It's the girls' card!
Your girls spend. They won't get
a six-pack of panties from Primark.
You had your boobs done.
You got bigger boobs!
-That's not your problem.
-It isn't?
You got them done with my money
and you blame the girls.
I needed it.
I live off my body, Alberto.
-It's good that you admit it!
-Yell at me in front of the girls!
-Hi, Dad.
-The girls know very well
who yells at who in this house.
-Okay, I'm out of here.
-Bye, honey.
Why do you do this to me?
You make a fortune on TV!
The new gym bled me dry.
I'll give it back in the summer.
I don't know who did them,
but one's higher than the other.
I'm going to talk about you
on the show, and I won't hold back.
Don't poison yourself, viper.
Go left.
-Presi, a photo.
-Presi, Presi, Presi...
-Presi, I'm Beto Martín.
-Hey, Beto.
-How are you?
-You heard about Willy.
-Yes. These things happen.
-But they want to sign with Madrid
in this market.
Half the season is over!
Willy's great, you could tell
a big team would sign him.
But José Ángel,
you signed him for millions!
If Madrid takes him from us,
they'll have to pay the current rate.
You speculated with Willy
to make money?
-He was going sooner or later.
-Fuck that!
You did a deal with Martinelli
and fucked up my best player!
Lower your voice.
You have to sharpen your fangs,
or you'll get the same result
as when you played.
Weren't you a football player?
Beto!
INCOMING CALL. SONIA.
Tired of losing? Play like Nardinho.
-Don't settle, you're a champion.
-Bet with the best.
Play poker online
and show what you're worth.
Start winning!
Fucking Nardinho, two months
without one goal.
Fuck the League, the Champions...
I'm calling the police.
Got it, squirt? I'll call the police.
Fuck, enough.
You bastard! You took 40,000 from me!
Okay, okay, okay.
Man. You're Beto.
Yeah, get out of here. 'Bye.
No, no. You played for Villarreal,
-then for Madrid.
-You want a prize?
You scored that bicycle kick goal,
that knocked us out.
-A great goal.
-A great goal. Fucking great.
I'm studying journalism
to work in sports.
-Got a cigarette?
-I don't smoke.
A journalist? You don't need
to study for that. Ask my ex-wife.
-What happened? Did you get injured?
-A lot of pressure. I left...
-A lot of drugs?
-Look, fuck you. Go fuck yourself.
-Journalist... Journalist.
-Yes.
Do you want an exclusive?
A fucking great exclusive.
Beto! Beto!
Beto! Beto!
Beto! Beto!
Beto! Beto!
Hey...
Hey!
You can't be here.
Hey... Weren't you a footballer?
Hi, it's Sonia, leave a message
and I'll call you when I can. Thanks.
Miguel, don't worry
about the 40,000, okay? Because...
Put your ex's show on.
-What?
-Your ex's show, Beto. Now!
...but these are very,
very unpleasant images.
Let's see them once again...
Unfortunately,
I must admit it's not the first time
I've seen something like this.
Tell us something.
Do you still live from football?
Look, football...
I tell you, football is...
money, money, money.
Before, other things mattered too.
But now, everyone's an asshole.
Everyone, even the players.
Look at 'em,
they're like morons with power.
Oh, poor guy.
Nardinho...
The best in the world. The best.
28 years old.
He hasn't scored a goal
in two months.
He's this close
to being an ex-footballer.
And do you think he cares?
He doesn't give a fucking shit.
No more than he cares
about his tattoo, his hair,
his ad for cologne...
Fame, fame, it's all they want.
Fame, a swank car in front
of his fancy fucking house
and fucking.
Fucking everything, everything,
all the time. Everything.
This is Big Brother,
a fucking shitty show...
You know what? I'll tell you.
I, Beto Martín,
shit on fucking football.
I shit on fucking footb...
Fuck!
Nardinho.
Man, I was...
I was drunk!
I don't know what I said.
It was drunken bullshit, okay?
I'm sorry, okay?
Relax, I just want to talk.
I want you to be my agent.
Translated by: Francesca Villa
Iyuno