Hawaii Five-O (1968–1980): Season 4, Episode 13 - Is This Any Way to Run a Paradise? - full transcript

Someone calling himself "Kahili" (the Hawaiian god of battle) wages his own personal war against polluters. At first the pranks are bad but not dangerous, like climbing a ladder to the top of a huge chimney with a 125-pound ceremonial shield and capping the chimney (thus blowing out the furnace inside and chasing everyone out of the factory). However, Kahili's actions get steadily more violent. After blasting a crop-dusting plane with a shotgun (he pulls the pilot to safety), Kahili types up a list of the five worst polluters in Hawaii and entitles it "Kahili Death List." One of the five suffers a heart attack and another flees, so Kahili goes after the most heavily guarded of the three and breaks his neck with one hand. Can Five-O identify Kahili (whose face is never really seen) and capture him without getting shot or beaten to death?

Wanted you to
see this, McGarrett.

Kind of weird.

Arson in reverse.

Well, how can you
hurt an incinerator?

You put a lid on
the top of that stack.

Now, how did that
yo-yo get up there?

That's one of my yo-yos, chief.

Yeah, Kono, what do you got?

When they fired up the
furnace this morning, it backfired.

The plant was closed
over the weekend.

So they had two days.



One thing you know,

it took some muscle
to get that lid up there.

That thing's 8 feet
in diameter, cut to fit.

Wedged in, no
way to lift it out.

They sure know
what they were doing.

That kind of turns
you on, huh, Kono?

Yeah.

It's the first time
anybody's done anything

about these big smudge pots.

Well, when they get that lid
down, have Che go over it.

Right.

Chin, plenty of
apartments facing this way.

Go and knock on some doors,
see if anybody saw anything.

Okay.



Steve, look what I found
on top of the chimney.

What is that?

McGARRETT:

"E ku Kaili moku."

E ku Kaili moku.

Kaili has risen.

Kaili?

One of our ancient
Hawaiian gods.

The god of battle.

Good morning, Steve.

How are you, Sumi?

Pleased. A Menehune
just came in from Kauai.

You know, it's so old,

I'm afraid to make a
calculated guess on its origin.

Well, maybe you could make
a calculated guess about this.

Kailimoku, god of battle.

Widely worshiped during the time
of King Kamehameha the Great,

before Captain Cook and
the missionaries, of course.

Hawaiians had many
war gods, didn't they?

Dozens.

Only one, however,
could make himself heard

over the sounds
of battle, Kaili.

E ku Kaili moku.

That phrase, it came
on a note with this.

What does it really mean?

It was a rallying cry

to unite for the common good.

A sort of, uh, "long
live Hawaii," if you will.

This gourd, is it local?

Yes, you see them now
and then on the farm markets.

May I inquire who is using

white tern feathers
for curio dolls?

This is Steve McGarrett.
Miss Weston, our ornithologist.

Miss Weston.

Mr. McGarrett.

Perhaps you can tell me
where this bird comes from.

Well, there are only two
nests left at Rabbit Island.

There used to be hundreds.

What's happening to the species?

Between oil slicks,
pesticides, sewerage,

the white tern's virtually
been annihilated.

You seem to have a
particular interest in this bird.

I have a particular interest
in all vanishing breeds,

Mr. McGarrett.

The white tern happens to be

the most ethereal
of all our birds.

When danger
threatened, it was this bird

that warned all the others
with a piercing scream.

Like Kaili, huh?

Thank you, Miss Weston.

Uh, one of these days, I
might just take up bird watching.

When you do, let me know.

Sheet aluminum.

A quarter-inch thick,
hinged in the middle.

Diameter 8 feet, 6 inches,

same width as the
incinerator stack.

This thing sure weighs a lot.

About 125 pounds. Minimum.

And no evidence of a chain
hoist or a block and tackle?

Nothing, and no
fingerprints either, Steve.

Very tidy housekeeping.

Very good metalwork too.

The edge of this lid is
tapered to ensure a snug fit.

Steve?

Found a witness. Good.

A woman who can't sleep
past 5 a.m. was in her kitchen,

got a clear view of the stack.

Saw a guy climb up
Sunday before dawn.

And this morning, he
hauled up a piece of iron.

A guy? One guy?

Yeah, that's what she says.

Any description?

Nah, too far away.

He probably measured
the stack Sunday

and installed it this morning.

You mean one guy
carried all that weight

up a 142-foot stack?

Yeah. A guy like that

can go bear hunting
with chopsticks.

Steve, that typewriter,
uh, a military Model 6.

The Army sold off hundreds
of them after the war.

It has its own
peculiarities, though:

A dirty E and a broken H

and tends to double-space
under heavy pressure.

Maybe we're overreacting.

Maybe some guy just has
a thing about incinerators.

I got a hunch we're gonna
be hearing more from him.

Are you hunching
or hoping, Kono?

This is Officer Kyle,
capitol security.

Kyle? That's right.

Put me through to McGarrett.

The Environmental Defense League

doesn't have a formal
membership list, Mr. McGarrett.

We're very homespun.

Who pays the bills?

Well, we're volunteers.

The office is donated rent-free.

So are we. I'm an architect.

I come down here whenever
I've got a couple of hours.

And, uh, she, Charlotte there,

she's a housewife. She
handles the mailings.

Then there is a mailing list.

Mm-hm. About 1,200 names,

a few of whom
come to the meetings.

Heh. You're welcome
to the list, if you like.

Is that as cooperative as
you can get, Mr. Finley?

Mr. McGarrett, at this point,
a great many of our members

would like Kaili
to run for senator.

Others want to put him in

for the Congressional
Medal of Honor.

Anything goes, is that it?

Look at this town, McGarrett.

We have a scenic view of
high-rises and traffic jams.

We have the beginnings
of Los Angeles smog

and a New York indifference.

Now, I ask you, is this
any way to run a paradise?

No, but do you think
that Kaili's tactics

are the best way to
clean up these islands?

No, I don't.

But I know that
human history began

with an act of disobedience

and it's likely to end
with an act of obedience.

Here's your list.

Yeah, Chin. It was
the same typewriter.

CHIN HO: This, uh, Kaili,

what is he trying to prove?

I think he's trying to lay a
message on the governor:

If they don't stop dumping 55
million gallons of raw sewage

off Sand Island each day,

we're all gonna need
typhoid shots to go swimming.

Thank you.

Lunch. Thanks, Danno.

Got anything?
Yeah, I got a list.

What do you think this,
uh, Kaili will do next?

Well, he's hit the smog and
water-contamination problems,

so that leaves quite a
few other types of pollution.

Name your poison.

Now he's shooting
down crop-dusters.

How do you feel, brother?

First time I caught
flak over a cane field.

Did you see him?

Heard some shots,
then I just clobbered in.

I... I came to about...
About 50 yards away

with that... That
party favor in my hand.

I kind of remember a
guy with big meat hooks.

He just carried me
like I was a little baby.

First the guy shoots him down,

then risks his life to pull
him out of a burning plane.

Yeah.

I'll thank him,
after I shoot him.

Okay, take him.

Let's see that, Danno.

"Stop poisoning the Earth.

"The soil is for
growing, not killing.

Kaili."

He should read his own notes.

Steve.

There's buckshot holes in the
fuselage all around the engine.

Looks like he was
careful not to hit the pilot.

You know, until now, I
had some sympathy going

for this Kaili character.

He did save the pilot.

There's no way he could
guarantee that, Danno, no way.

The garbage, the,
uh, smokestack,

they could be called pranks.

This... This is
attempted murder.

They picked him up,
Steve. He's in your office.

Good.

Mr. Finley, we're
gonna catch your Kaili

with or without your help.

So it's time you gave
some thought to the penalty

for withholding
information... Say no more.

When I heard about the
crop-duster on the radio,

I made another list.

Names and addresses of
people I remember seeing

at our last few meetings.

At our last meeting, we
got a very depressing report

about the chances
for anti-pollution laws

passing this year.

That was last
Saturday. Thank you.

I hope this Kaili isn't a
member of the Defense League.

But if he is,
please get him fast.

He's missing the point.

Good, good. Danno.

This is the Environmental
Defense League's, uh,

membership list.

It works out to about 20
names each, should go fast.

We're looking for
a big guy, powerful,

knowledge of metalwork,

with access to
an old typewriter.

And an automatic shotgun
with double-O buckshot

and Magnum shells.

You know, Kaili's either
very lucky or very smart.

Or both.

Yes?

Mr., uh, Clement Bryan?

Yes, that's my name.

Yeah?

May I speak to Edward
J. Kramer, please?

You're speaking to
Edward J. Kramer.

Oh.

Yeah, I'm in the
Environmental Defense League.

What about it?

It must get a little hairy
working up there, eh, brother?

I get paid for it.

Can you tell me where you
were on the, uh, following dates?

Been here since
'39, Mr. Williams.

And I tell you,

what the Japs did to
this place ain't nothing

to what the haoles

and the Chinks
are doing to it since.

Three-sixty plus
a quart of 10-30.

The, uh, Chinese?

Yeah.

Big developers
like, uh, Lai Han.

Big developers.

He overdeveloped this land,

overloaded the
sewers, fouled the rivers.

You take a dive in
that stream back there,

see what it does to your skin.

Most of them seem to
meet the sanitation code.

Come on, Williams.

Guys like Lai Han, they
get over a sanitation code

faster than you
can flush a toilet.

That gun yours?

Yeah. We stay
open till midnight.

Used to be my duck gun

when there was
ducks on this island.

Now it's my
midnight survival kit.

Where were you on
the following dates?

Let's see, 5 a.m.
Sunday and Monday?

I was sleeping.

Alone, I'm afraid. Heh.

Tuesday and Thursday afternoons?

Well, I've got shop here till 3

and then, uh, it's
football practice.

I'm an assistant coach.

Well, I'll have to
check with the principal

and the head coach on that.

Go ahead.

What do you think of this,
um, "E ku Kaili moku" jazz?

I'm jealous.

He's shaken up more
people in one week

than I have in five years
of recycling petitions

and letters to congressmen.

Maybe.

But let me tell you something.

If he doesn't walk in now,

he's gonna see a
bunch of prison, brother.

Do you know what I mean?

McGARRETT: Hot
off the press, huh?

I picked them up

in a head shop
down in the jungle.

Please, please,
Mr. McGarrett is busy. If you'd...

He is not too busy
to become famous.

Mr. McGarrett?

Yeah, I'm McGarrett.

They are going to
make you captain.

You will be pig of the year.

And what will you be, friend?

I am Kaili. I have risen.

Call the press.

What for?

For my confession. What else?

Oh, then you're admitting
that you put that steel lid

on the, uh,
incinerator stack, Mr...?

Kong. Kaili Kong.

Yes, I had to,

to cleanse the air, to breathe.

And you shot down
the crop-duster?

Yes, my son.

In the line of duty, of course.

Pretty good with a rifle, huh?

I have the eyes of an eagle.

Uh, Mr. Williams here is
our public-relations officer.

He'll, uh, take you right down
to the, uh, press chamber.

Will there be
television cameras?

Are you kidding? In
every room, in color.

That gentlemen could use
a seven-day examination

in the state rubber room, Jenny.

Heh. The printing company says

those posters were
ordered by Joe Lemana,

a student at the university.

All right, get Chin on it.

Joe Lemana?

Chin Ho Kelly, Five-0.

Looking for Kaili?

Right.

I just might be him, badge man.

I mean, you never know.

I know.

Fifty-seven names.
How many suspects?

That, um, construction
guy, he qualifies.

But his alibis are solid.

I got a high-school
teacher, a real mountain.

A four letter man:
football, wrestling,

swimming, track.

He's got everything.

Including a principal
and a football coach

who alibi him all the way.

My gas station
owner is pretty big too.

I, uh, questioned a man who says

he's gonna demolish a
new apartment building

one floor at a time,

'cause it blocks his
view of Diamond Head.

Why doesn't he move?

He has, six times.

New high-rise every time.

Pollution is not within

my realm of responsibility.

I am but a developer

of low-priced housing
and apartments.

And sewage. Hi, Steve.

And there you have a
moral obligation, Lai Han.

Senator Patterson, I
do not create sewage.

People create sewage.

Heh. Moral
obligation, that's right.

You, Mr. Grace, like
Mr. Hackbart and the others,

have a moral responsibility
to install filter systems

so our waters
will run clean as...

I have only one obligation,
to my stockholders.

The name of the game is profits.

Profits, Mr. Grace, is that all?

Exactly, exactly.

Until the government
changes the rules,

that's all I'm required
to worry about,

profits, nothing else.

If people want to swim,
they can go to the beach.

You're talking about
a filter plant, senator,

that will cost 11 and
a half million dollars,

which will put my
company out of business

and 4,500 people out of jobs.

What do you want, gentlemen,
pollution or a sound economy?

I cannot believe
that's the only choice.

Senator, if you
were a businessman,

you'd have to be
concerned with profits.

Or do you prefer Kaili's
approach to the problem?

I mean you, senator.

No, I happen to
think Kaili's medicine

is worse than the disease.

The only way you're
going to remove pollution

is by removing people.

That is ridiculous.

That's like a doctor saying,

"So long as there are
people, there'll be disease,

so why even try to find cures?"

The fact is, we have found
ways to control many diseases.

And we have more
people than ever before.

You're not taking into
account technological progress.

More machines, bigger
machines, faster machines.

More pollution, bigger
pollution, faster pollution.

Unfair, senator.

You're forgetting
the conveniences

that technology brings, a
higher standard of living.

Which people want.

And are willing to
pay for, thank heaven.

McGARRETT: And
as you may have heard,

Mr. Hotchkins
suffered a coronary

immediately after
the Kaili death list

appeared in this
morning's paper.

Mr. Lowell departed
for the mainland.

So that leaves four of you.

Are you assuming that this
Kaili will actually try to kill us?

Well, I can't assume
otherwise, Mr. Grace.

Kaili has demonstrated
that he's capable of anything.

We haven't come to
the jokes yet, Mr. Han.

Ah, but you have.

Murder? For money, yes.

For love, yes.

For ecology, a
most unlikely motive.

How about revenge?

Revenge? For what?

For what's been done
to an island paradise.

An H.P.D. car has been
assigned to each of you.

You'll have constant
police protection

from the moment
you leave this office.

I don't understand
why I'm on the list.

Doesn't he know I've
been fighting his battle

in the legislature?

Well... I can't answer
for Kaili, senator.

I just assume
that he's convinced

that each of you is
responsible in some way.

You needn't worry
about me, McGarrett.

My company's running a
full-page ad today in the newspaper

offering the finest
lawyers in the island

if he'll turn himself in.

Well, I guess that's one way

of protecting
yourself, Mr. Hackbart.

Unless, of course,
Kaili sees through it.

Why don't you call in the FBI?

I don't tell you how to run
your business, do I, Mr. Grace?

If there are no other questions,
that's it, gentleman. Thank you.

McGarrett, you are familiar

with my various
business interests?

Yeah.

Including your
syndicate connections.

Then you know that I have
reached my present age

by relying on my own
resources for preservation.

You'll have an H.P.D. car
with you 24 hours a day.

Use it.

As you wish. Good day.

Which one?

I don't see Kaili as a killer.

Who knows?

To justify what
he's already done,

Kaili could keep his promise
and resort to assassination.

If he was a military man,

he'd pick the weakest
point, the easiest target.

Not Kaili, the god of battle.

He'd run his play
over the strongest man.

That would be... Lai Han.

Apparently, the dislocation is
at the second CV, a fracture.

Anything above the
third cervical vertebra

is, of course, instantly fatal.

Nothing to indicate a weapon.

I know what the weapon was.

Hands.

Possible.

Would require extraordinary
strength. Extraordinary.

Yep.

Looks like he swam
around the point.

There's a lateral drift
out there and a riptide.

And he swam it?

Would you believe four miles?

I would.

A guy swims four miles
against a strong current,

snaps a neck like a matchstick

and carries a 125-pound
metal disc up a 142-foot stack.

Now, that's gotta
narrow it down some.

Your shop teacher.

It's gotta be him.

You know, I got two
other coaches besides Aku.

Is it possible that one
could leave practice early

without you knowing it?

Nah, I would have noticed.

Would you swear
to that in court?

I'm not that sure.

I'm sorry, Mr. McGarrett,
but no one mentioned it.

Mentioned what?

That Aku was not in
his shop class Tuesday.

Two of his students now
tell us. Who's watching Aku?

Officer Watanabe.

Any luck? Checked 'em all out.

None of them match,
uh, Kaili's notes.

Say, uh, what do you
do with old typewriters?

Oh, trade 'em in, uh, except
the junkers that are banged up.

Where are they?
Uh, in the basement.

McGARRETT: That's it.

A trap? Using me?

Exactly.

With your reputation
and public utterances,

you're the perfect bait.

I think you've been out in
the sun too long, McGarrett.

Maybe.

We know who Kaili is.

We just don't
know his next move.

With all your
modern criminology,

you want me to put my
neck on your chopping block

after what that
maniac did to Lai Han?

You'll have wall-to-wall
protection, Mr. Grace,

every second.

Now, the reason I
make this request...

Request denied.

You don't tell me how to
run my business, remember?

I have my own responsibilities.

I-I'd like to help,

but the business of
American business is...

Money.

Let me understand this.

You mean that Kaili is
actually hurting your program

in the Senate?

Hurting it? He is destroying it.

There are many people who
are just sitting on the fence

and we needed their
votes to control pollution.

Kaili has turned them
against us with a vengeance.

If he only knew how
much damage he's done

to the cause of
ecology, Mr. McGarrett.

Would you like to tell him?

You're damn right I would.

You understand that that makes
you the bull's-eye, don't you?

That was the idea, wasn't it?

To the one who
calls himself Kaili,

who claims to be
champion of ecology.

Kaili, you have made
it impossible for us

to pass any legislation
for the control of pollution.

PATTERSON: You have equated

the defense of
our environment...

Hey, Mike, give me another
brew and some pupus.

Hold it, will you?
I wanna hear this.

You, Kaili, are the
worst form of pollution.

You have fouled your
own nest with violence.

Accordingly, I am advising
my colleagues in the Senate

to table all motions
for pollution control

until the next session.

Oh, no.

Another year.

And, Mr. Kaili,

you do not frighten me, sir.

I shall attend my meetings

and give the speeches
as announced.

Well, you're as good
as your word, senator.

Good to be here.

Good to see you.
Glad you made it.

Ever hear of a state
senator missing a free lunch?

No.

How are you doing,
Al? How's everything?

Ron, good to see you.

Chin. How are you, senator?

You're having the
dieter's salad, right?

Go, Kono. Go.

Senator, it's the
same procedure.

We have a car in front of you

and our car is just behind you.

Now, sir, I know you're
feeling the pressure,

but just try to relax, please.

Kono, we have
only one more stop.

The dedication of
the new sugar plant.

So we'll take the Likelike
Highway to the Ewa turnoff.

That's a lonesome road.

Heads up, Danno.

This is rough country.

Right, Steve.

You can hide a
regiment in this stuff.

Danno, you take one
side, Kono, the other.

How's the senator?

He's okay.

Chin, work your way
around the other end.

We've gotta keep Aku in
this section till we sweep it.

Central Dispatch, this
is McGarrett. Riot drop.

All cars in the
Ewa-Pearl City area

ordered to Sector 62,
Cane Road B, immediately.

Okay, gentlemen, on the double.

Take your position.
Stand by and ready.

No one is to enter
the field until ordered.

Absolutely no shooting
unless fired upon.

Aku Nolo, this is McGarrett.

You're surrounded.

There is no way out.

I repeat, there is
absolutely no escape.

Come out with your hands up.

I promise you that
nothing will happen to you

if you come out
with your hands up.

Kono, come on, convince him.

Aku Nolo.

McGARRETT: Try it again, Kono.

You're gonna make
us come in after you.

That's the hard way, brother.

You might get a few of us,
but we're sure gonna get you.

Your last chance.
You coming, come now.

Steve...

looks like we
don't have to go in.

My God. He'll
burn alive in there.

Only if he wants to.

He wants to.

Found this in the truck.