Hawaii Five-O (1968–1980): Season 2, Episode 1 - A Thousand Pardons - You're Dead! - full transcript

In a show with several similarities to the previous season opener, a series of swindlings are covers for serial murder. An Army sergeant who lost his brother in Vietnam because of the latter's infatuation with a bar girl, uses Honolulu bar girls as patsies to "marry" dead soldiers and collect on their $10,000 apiece insurance policies -- then murders them and keeps the money. The sergeant is absolutely coldblooded and utters the episode's title when his partner (who has been forging the marriage certificates and the insurance papers) has a heart attack and can't get to his nitro tablets. An unusually violent ending. From this point, all series closing credits are played over shots of men paddling an outrigger canoe through the ocean (replacing the first-season end title of a flashing police light on a car driving through Honolulu); the color and size of the credit cards is also altered.

Ray, stash that
for me, will you?

Betsy. Yoko.

I've got it. Are
you ready for that?

Ten thousand bucks.

You're supposed to be a
widow in mourning, remember?

Not in here, I'm not. A
bottle of champagne, Freddy.

Gold label.

Yoko, take the day
off, help me celebrate.

Heh. I don't think so.

Okay? See you.

I don't think my
roomie approves.



Uh, Anna, the man doesn't
like to be kept waiting.

Neither do I. Come on, Freddy.

What do you want me to
tell him, uh, if he should call?

Tell him, uh, "Pleasure
before business."

Tell him patience is a virtue.

Tell him anything.

Ah, that's it. I'm free now.

Yeah, sure.

Marvelous taxicab driver.

And thank you very much.

Now, here you go.

Thank you very much.

Whoops.

Twenties.



Hardly worth picking up.

Hi.

McGARRETT: What do we got?

Not sure, Steve.

Look like hit-and-run.

It's 3:45 a.m., lieutenant.

How does Five-O fit in?

Found this in her bag.

A receipt for
$10,000 GI insurance.

Huh. Dated this afternoon.
Any sign of the money?

None.

What else?

From the look of her,
the way she was hit,

it's like she was facedown
in the middle of the road.

Okay.

McGARRETT: Betsy.

Who is it?!

McGarrett.

McGarrett.

You know how much I dig you.

And I'd be honored
any other time, but...

Oh, not today. It's my head.

I need some
answers, Betsy, baby.

I need an eye opener.

How are you, Betsy?

Don't ask.

Business couldn't be worse.

The booze on this lousy
rock is too expensive.

I can't even water it down
anymore since I got pinched,

and that lousy boyfriend of
mine just banged up my new car.

Now I got bursitis
in my right toe.

The doctor says it's the
gout, but I don't believe him.

You know something, McGarrett?

In this lousy world,

for every ounce of pleasure,
there's a pound of pain.

I'm sorry I asked, Betsy.

So how's by you?

Girl named Anna Stockton
Schroeder work here?

Yeah, sure. Why?

She here last night?

Huh, afternoon and night.

What time she leave?

Closing time, 3 a.m.

Who was she with?

Nobody. She called a cab.

Was she carrying a
lot of bread, Betsy?

How should I know?

Hey, look, what's
all this about?

She's dead.

She was killed
last night, Betsy.

Killed? Yeah.

How?

We're not sure.

Maybe hit-and-run.

I... I can't believe
it. Uh... Anna, dead.

Why, just a couple
of months ago,

she had everything to live for.

Fill me in.

Well, she... She met this
soldier, Eddie Schroeder,

fell crazy in love.

Meeting Eddie
changed her whole life.

Heh.

I lost a first-class hostess

and Anna got a
first-class husband.

Thanks, Betsy.

Central Dispatch
calling McGarrett.

Yeah, Dispatch,
McGarrett. Go ahead.

Steve, Kono here.

Still at the
Schroeder apartment.

Girl just came in,
had her own key.

I'm on my way.

What apartment? 218.

Check the cab companies.

Find out who picked up
Anna Schroeder last night,

brought her from
Betsy's to here.

Right.

Who is it?

McGarrett, Five-O.

Hi. What do you want?

Information. May I come in?

Come on in.

Care to sit down?

No, thanks.

Where were you last
night, Miss Collins?

Working.

After work.

I left with a friend.

Anna?

A male friend.

And you just got in now?

Yes, I just got in,
because I'm a big girl.

Now, what's this all about?

I suppose you can
prove where you've been.

Sure, I could
prove it, but, um...

Well, it might prove
to be embarrassing.

Your roommate, Anna, uh,
did you see her last night?

Yeah, for a while.

What time did she leave?

Uh... at closing.

With whom?

With herself. Why? Is Anna
in some kind of trouble?

She's dead.

Very sorry.

Uh...

How did it happen?

We don't know, we're not
sure. Hit-and-run, maybe.

Are you sure it...
It was an accident?

We're not sure of
anything. What do you think?

Well... I don't know.

Well, I mean, sh... She
had a lot of money on her.

Did she have it at Betsy's?

Yeah.

And she was flashing it?

Well, she wasn't hiding it.

Well, she bought half the
drinks in the place last night.

Um...

How well do you know,
uh, Anna's husband?

Well, actually, I didn't.

You mean, you never met him?

No. Why, does that make
me a suspect or something?

No, no. I just figured you
were roommates, um...

worked together.

Well, uh... I mean, I c...

I couldn't keep track of
all the guys that Anna met.

All I knew was what she told me.

She said she went over
to the big island, and...

Well, I guess they got
married over there, and, uh...

I guess he went back to Vietnam.

Anyway, I... I never met him.

No more questions.

Somebody's lying.

I wanna find out who.

Ever been to Betsy's?

No.

But I have a feeling
you're going to change that.

Army, Navy, Marines.
Take your pick.

Hi.

Hi.

Do you wanna sit down?

Yeah, I just wanted to talk.

Well, you talk and I'll listen.

Got troubles?

Yeah. Troubles.

Mm-hm.

Well, you just tell
Yoko all about 'em.

Freddy, uh, the usual for me.

Bourbon? Yeah.

Freddy, two.

My name's Danny. Danny Carson.

Well, Danny Carson,
here's to the end of troubles.

Yours, mine... and everybody's.

Yeah, I think there's a
little whiskey in this water.

That's a nice sound. Huh?

The sound of a girl laughing.

Oh.

It must be rough over there.

Yeah, for some it's rough.

For others, like my pal Eddie...

Killed in action?

I came here to see his widow.

Found out she was
killed in a car accident.

I guess you knew
her. Name was Anna.

Yeah, I knew her.

She was my roommate.

You're kidding.

No, I'm not kidding.

Do you remember Eddie?
I mean, they met in here.

Do you remember him? No.

Oh, a guy about 5'10",
with reddish blond hair.

No, I never met him.

What kind of girl was this Anna?

Hm. I remember how
Eddie talked about her.

I don't know how
Eddie talked about her,

and I don't give a rap.

I don't wanna talk about her!

Okay, I'm sorry.
I just thought...

Look, if you came in
here for a good time,

groovy, I'm your girl.

But if you came
here to talk about

your buddy and Anna, no thanks.

If I wanna get depressed,
I'll do it on my own time.

So which is it?

Okay.

Here's to good times.

To tonight.

Okay. Tonight.

What? I'm a soldier, remember?

Not a Navy. Ha, ha.

I don't remember nothin'!

Hut, hut, hut!

Shh!

Shh!

Wait. Shh.

What are you looking for?

What do you think
I'm looking for?

I'm looking for my keys.

Hey. Where is it?

Shh!

No!

Here.

Okay.

Hey, this is a beautiful place.

Oh, well, you just sit down
and I'm gonna make you a drink.

That's what I
need, another drink.

Here, sit down. Here, come here.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

Everything.

What difference does it make?

We said no more troubles
tonight, remember?

Yeah, that's the
trouble. I remember...

I remember too much.

What, Yoko? What?

You listened to me
before. Now it's my turn.

Can I trust you, Danny? Can I?

I gotta trust somebody.

Trust me.

Well...

it's not just Anna.

There were other girls
that worked at Betsy's.

Sheila and...

Maria.

What about 'em?

Are you sure I can
trust you, Danny?

Well, they were all
married to soldiers too,

and they all had
accidents like Anna, and...

They're all dead. All
three of them, dead.

Just dead.

Anna...

Stockton...

Schroeder.

Well, that's it.

Three girls, all
married to soldiers,

all worked at
Betsy's and all dead.

How'd the first two die, Steve?

I'm checking that out
with H.P.D. right now.

Kono?

Yo.

Go down to, uh, city
hall, Bureau of Records.

Find out when these
girls were married.

Right.

Take care of that head, brother.

Chin, I'd like you to
check this out at Schofield.

Here's a list of widows.

I wanna know... when
their husbands were killed,

if the wife was the
beneficiary in each case

and the date the GI
insurance was paid.

On my way.

Well, you ready
to go back to work?

Yeah, sure.

You know, you really didn't
have to drink that booze, Danno.

What do you do with it?

You pour it in the plant.

Steve, do you really expect
me to go around killing plants?

Better than killing yourself.

Jenny, bring in another
cup of coffee for Danno.

Make it black.

What was the last name again?

Schroeder.

Anna Stockton.

Yes. Schroeder, Schroeder.

Ah, here it is.

There you are. Thanks.

Can I help you with
something, brother?

Oh, I thought I might
be able to help you.

Uh, perhaps if you, uh, told
me what you were looking for.

You gave me what I'm
looking for. Thank you.

Thanks.

Everything all right?

I don't know.

Well, heh, what could be wrong?

I don't know. What
could be wrong?

Heh. Oh, n-nothing.
Nothing, to my knowledge.

Watanu here. A policeman
was right here in my office.

He wanted the file on
Anna Stockton Schroeder.

Yes, yes. I must talk to you.

No, I-I can't leave until 5.

All right.

I'll see you then.

Let's see, now.

You want the records
pertaining to Schroeder,

Anderson and McKay.

I'd appreciate it, sergeant. Hm.

You understand that these
records are in my charge.

Yeah. Of course.

We're dealing with, uh,
semi-classified material here.

I don't want them bandied about.

What do I have to do, sarge?
Come back with a warrant?

Or maybe a personal request
from the base commandant?

Now, look, mister...

don't you try to
pull rank on me.

All I wanna know, if these
guys were killed in action.

If so, when, and who
the beneficiary was.

I'll give you the information,
but in the future...

I'll try to be a little more GI.

Say it. No!

Say it. Okay.

Uncle. That's better.

Ho Chi Minh.

Oh... Oh, I got
something in my eye.

Let me see. Wait, wait.

Let me see. Wait.

Is something wrong?

Nothing.

Maybe it's just that,
uh, I'm a square from...

Oh, come on. I know what
you are, and I know what I am.

Look, don't expect me

to act like Miss
All-American-Choir-Girl

from Nebraska...

or wherever it is you're from.

Okay. Say something.

Uncle.

You know, uh...

Before we got to
Honolulu on R and R,

some brass warned
us on soft shoulders

and the quickie-trip-
to-the-altar bit.

Is that what you
think I'm after?

What do I do, marry you

and then sit around waiting
for you to catch a bullet

so I can cash the insurance?

Hey, I'm only kidding.

Don't. I... Hey, I
didn't mean you, Yoko.

I was talking about
Anna. I didn't know her.

I just wondered.

Well, wonder away.

Look, honey, I was her
roommate, not her priest.

Well, maybe she did and...

maybe somebody
killed her for it.

You think that's what happened?

I told you, I don't think.

You told me, but I
was with you last night.

I know different.

Well, it isn't my problem.

And it certainly isn't yours.

You go back to
Vietnam this week, huh?

Yeah.

And they certainly
can't stop you

from being killed over there.

Meaning if I ask
too many questions,

I might get killed here?

I don't know and I
don't wanna know.

Well, I do.

Look, my buddy
was killed in action,

maybe his wife was
murdered for the insurance.

If that's the way it
was, I'd like to know.

Then maybe you ought to
spend the rest of your time

with the police
instead of with me!

I'm sorry.

I'm just scared.

Listen, when the
girls came to me,

I just predated their
marriage licenses,

that's all.

And you got paid. Yes.

Yes, I got paid.

For that I got paid,
but not for murder.

I didn't count on murder.

Do you think I did?

T-the police... The police...
You sent him, didn't you?

He's on the phone.

You stay here. I'll talk to him.

Hello?

It's finished. I mean, finished.

You bet I'm scared.

Watanu is here, and
he's twice as scared.

No, you can't talk to him.

Because he's on the verge
of a heart attack, that's why.

No. I'm gonna hang up.

No more marriage licenses.

No more girls for you to...

I don't care. It's over.

Well, what did he want?

I didn't get a
chance to find out.

Anyway, it's finished.

Finished?

You told him that?

Very clearly I told him.

I wish I could believe that.

Believe it. Without us,
he can't do anything.

Hey, look, I got an
extra room upstairs.

Why don't you go
up and lie down.

No, no. I... I'll be all right.

I-I'll just sit here for...
For a few minutes.

Thanks anyway.

Look, if you want
anything, just call me.

Home, James?

A-a cab.

I was waiting for a cab.

No waiting. Just get in.

Why are we stopping here?

You know, y-y-you...

You have nothing
to fear from me.

You know that,
don't you, sergeant?

I mean, I don't know
anything about the murders.

Murders?

Well, as for my part
in our scheme, I...

I-I could hardly
reveal that without...

W-without implicating myself.

I-I-I'm glad you understand.

Y-you have nothing
to fear from me.

Now, please take me home.

Please.

M-m-my pills.

My pills. My... My pills.

My... My... My heart.

Oh, a thousand pardons.

Here. Let me help
you find your pills.

Oh, there they are.

No! Not my pills.

Come on. Come on.

Sergeant, sarge,
please take me home.

I owe you some pills, all right?

Yeah, I'm sorry, sergeant,
but... take me home.

Yeah, James, I'd like
to accommodate you,

but it's way out of my way

and I'm late getting
back to the base.

Oh, no, sergeant,
take me. Take...

What's that?

Chunk of tire tread from
the jeep you signed out

at the motor pool.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

It was found on Makapu'u,

less than 100 feet
from the dead man.

Dead man?

Oh, come on, McGarrett,

I travel back and forth

to Makapu'u two or
three times a week.

Dead man? Now, what
has that got to do with me?

You didn't see a man lying
on the side of the road?

No, I didn't see a man
on the side of the road.

And I'm beginning
to get the feeling

that this is more than
routine questioning.

And I'm beginning
to get the feeling

that this man's death
was more than routine.

His name was James Watanu.

Worked for the
Marriage License Bureau.

As a sideline, he predated
phony marriage licenses,

three that we know of.

Licenses came
through your office.

You know him?

I don't have any Jap
friends, Mr. McGarrett.

I didn't ask you if the Japanese
was your friend, sergeant.

I asked if you knew him.

No, I didn't know him.

Look, I'm no cop,

but I'd say your beef
is with the three girls

that collected the insurance.

They're all dead, unfortunately.

Ah, come on. All three of them?

All three.

And Watanu makes four.

Any idea why?

Me?

No, I don't have any
idea. I'm not a cop.

You're a cop! Do
you have any idea?

Yeah, a couple.

I'll keep working
on it, sergeant.

If I come up with
anything, I'll let you know.

Thank you, sergeant.

I've had it. I'm leaving.

Hey...

Look, let me help you.

If your roommate was
involved in some kind of fraud

or racket, tell me.
Let me help you.

What do you mean, fraud?

I mean a GI insurance fraud.

Well, why don't you tell me?

You seem to know
more about it than I do.

You know, for a GI who's
just come in from Vietnam,

you seem... or are you a GI?

Maybe Army Intelligence?

Or just an ordinary
Honolulu flatfoot, huh?

They're things you don't
know... I thought you were better

than the guys that
came into Betsy's,

but I was wrong, wasn't I?

You're worse!

I'm sorry, Yoko.
You should be sorry.

You know why?

Because you had it made.

You had me feeling like
I was 16 all over again.

Anything you wanted,
I would have done.

Anything! Except
tell me the truth.

Truth! Don't you
talk to me about truth.

Every second you
spent with me was a lie.

You're a lie!

I blew it, Steve.

I pressed too hard.

Take it easy,
Danno. Take it easy.

That's not gonna help anything.

Maybe you got
all there is to get.

She knows something.
Enough to be afraid.

What's it look like otherwise?

Well, we got a
line on the fraud.

Pretty simple. Listen to this.

A GI was killed in action.

His insurance passes
through Sergeant Simms' office.

Simms contacts Watanu,

who fills out a predated
marriage license

to one of Betsy's girls.

Then Simms put her
in as a beneficiary.

Right. And the government
hands over $10,000

to a widow who's
never been married.

Got any ideas about the murders?

I can't figure them, Danno.

Maybe the girls tried
to hold out on Simms

after they got the money.

One of them maybe,
but not all three.

No, murder just doesn't figure.

I've torn it apart,

and I've looked at
it from every angle.

Oh. You go AWOL?

Discharged dishonorably.

Okay. What'd you get
on Sergeant Simms?

Lots of facts, no conclusions.

Go. He's 43 years
old. A bachelor.

If there's war
going on, he's in it.

If they give out
medals, he's got 'em.

What about his service record?

Perfect.

He's good at killing,
Steve. When he's in uniform.

Anything about his love life?

I drew a blank, guy's a loner.

Mm. Chin? Same with friends.

He was close with only one guy,

his kid brother, Andrew.

Can we talk to the brother?

He was killed in action.

Brother have a wife?

Dead.

I'll see you later, Johnny. Hm?

You got something
against pool, sergeant?

I had a feeling I hadn't seen
the last of you, McGarrett.

Well, I had to stop by
the base. I thought...

And you thought you'd, uh,
scout up your old pal Simms

and have a drink with him, huh?

Well, no sale, McGarrett.

There are very few people
that I like to drink with

and you're not one.

Are there any, sergeant?

Since Andrew was killed?

Hey, what's bugging you?

Death, sergeant.

Death always bugs me.

Three GI widows, Clerk Watanu.

Death, that's a tragedy.

Murder, that's a crime.

Now, you wouldn't be here just

to discuss tragedy,
would you, McGarrett?

Well, the coroner doesn't think
that Watanu's death was natural.

No?

No.

Well, uh, this Jap...

Uh, excuse me, I mean,
this, uh, Japanese gentleman,

was he shot, beaten, stabbed?

No, nothing like that.

He had a heart condition.

I think he was
frightened to death.

You think?

Well, that'll be even tougher
to prove than insurance fraud.

Right.

How did you get along
with, uh, Andy's wife?

I don't like prostitutes.

And when they're
in the family...

You could kill 'em.

Could, if I was a killer.

But, if I remember correctly,

she died of an
overdose of sleeping pills.

There was no evidence of, uh...

What's that cop phrase?

Foul play, was there?

No evidence.

When Andy married Donna,

he made her his
insurance beneficiary.

You're up to your ears with
little pieces of information,

aren't you, McGarrett?

Yeah, Andy made her
his beneficiary. So what?

Well, before that, you were
his beneficiary, weren't you?

Yeah. Well, that
would figure too,

since I was the only family
he ever had in the world.

Since you're so interested,
I'll tell you something else,

it was enough, just me and Andy.

But no matter how tough
it got, I took care of Andy...

until she came along
and got her claws into him.

That no-good, dirty, overripe...

Yeah. You're absolutely
right, McGarrett.

I could have killed her.

I think you did
kill her, sergeant.

That's gonna take an
awful lot of proving, cop.

Well, that's my bag.

I'm looking forward to it.

Yeah. I know your type.

You think I'm the man, so
you're gonna charge right up

that hill after me.

It doesn't matter if I'm
behind 6 tons of steel

with a cannon pointing
right down your throat,

you're gonna keep on coming.

Looks like you've charged up

a few hills yourself, sergeant.

That's right, same type.

Hey, want to know something?

If I killed her, I
could beat the rap.

Justifiable homicide.

Not a chance.

Even if, uh, Donna
did seduce Andy,

trick him, con him.

Wouldn't justify homicide.

No.

She did more than
that. Much more.

She murdered that boy.

He died in a VC attack.

Yeah, sure. Shot in the
back while running away.

That's how Andy got it.

Some Charlie sniper
pulled the trigger,

but if it wasn't for that
tramp, with her soft body,

if Andy wasn't
thinking about her...

Andy never ran away.

We'd been through a
lot of battles together.

He loved combat!

He wasn't afraid,

until she taught him fear.

Or gave him
something to live for.

As you say, sergeant...

I'm gonna keep
charging up that hill.

Hey, McGarrett.

Tell you the truth,

I wouldn't have
it any other way.

When you get to the
top, I'll be waiting for you.

Now, I need your
help to trap a killer,

a combat-trained killer

who will kill again
if he isn't stopped.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I'm talking about Anna Stockton,

Maria Pu, Sheila Gordon.

You remember?

I remember! Why don't
you leave me alone?

I don't want to know
any more than I do!

As far as I'm
concerned, it's over.

No, Yoko. No, it's not over.

As long as this man is free,

he'll kill, there'll
be another victim.

Now, you won't know her
name, because she'll be dead.

Then it'll be too late.

Too late to do anything

except add her name to the list,

just below Anna Stockton's.

How do you feel about that?

Knowing that you
could have stopped it,

prevented it, saved a life.

Tell me.

Get out of here.

Okay, honey.

Thank you.

McGarrett.

Yoko Collins?

Sergeant.

My, what a lot of ribbons.

You look like a
warrior. I like warriors.

I bet you do.

Bourbon, Yoko?

No.

I think I'm in the
mood for a screwdriver.

Screwdriver,
bourbon on the rocks.

You may be surprised
how hard they are to find.

I mean, real warriors.

Not just kids with big stories.

I'm real.

I bet you are, sergeant.

In fact, after we
make our little deal...

I told you on the phone
that I can't help you there.

And I told you...

And I told you I could
change your mind.

Look, I know how it worked.

Anna told me all about it.

Still doesn't change anything.

I, um, lost my
contact at city hall.

You don't need a contact.

And it's one less
pocket to feed.

See?

Married, all nice and legal.

You're really hot for
that money, aren't you?

Well, my hero husband
went off and got himself killed

and didn't leave
me any insurance.

Now, for some girls that
would be a terrible thing,

but for me it's a real tragedy.

Interested?

Mm-hm.

Interested.

You're late.

We've got time.

Sit down.

I said, sit down.

We've got time and money.

Why do you have that gun?

Just an old Army habit.

Attention all units.

Simms has a gun.

Repeat. Simms has a gun.

Get the money.

Okay, but would you
put that gun away?

Just get the money!

Look at all that
beautiful money.

Don't you think it's beautiful?

Yeah.

Only I didn't
kill a GI to get it.

Kill?

Neither did I.

Look, he's dead now.

All I want is money
for time invested.

Nobody works
for free, sergeant...

especially this girl.

Boy, you are the best one yet.

Best what?

He laid his life on
the line for his country.

Well, that's just great,

for our country, but it
doesn't do me any good.

He gave up his life
for your freedom,

just like Andy did.

Died for trash like you,

because of trash like you.

And now you get money for it,

you want money for it.

Every dollar is a piece of
his flesh and you spend it.

You spend it for
your own pleasure.

Here, you hold the
money. Come on, let's go.

Steve, Steve, you were right.

He's bringing her out.

McGARRETT: You're
under arrest, Simms!