Hawaii Five-O (1968–1980): Season 1, Episode 23 - The Big Kahuna - full transcript

Sam Kalakua. Sam Kalakua.

Sam Kalakua.

Sam Kalakua.

Sam Kalakua.

Sam Kalakua.

( upbeat surf theme playing)

I don't ask you for a
favor very often, Steve.

But this time I need one.

Name it.

Does the name Sam
Kalakua mean anything to you?

Sam Kalakua. Yeah.



One of the last descendants
of Hawaiian royalty

left on the islands, isn't he?

That's right.

Sam's ancestors'
roots were planted here

long before the mainlanders
knew these islands even existed.

Now he's in jail.

Jail?

Went wild with
a rifle last night.

Shot up the neighborhood.

Almost hit one of the neighbors.

Drunk? Ill? What?

I don't know.

Is that the favor?

You see, Sam's regarded
by his people as being sacred.



So I'd like to find
out what's going on

with him, Steve,
quickly and quietly.

Without an official
police investigation.

And you want him out of jail?

I do.

You know how proud
these old-line islanders are.

And their feelings about
the haole s coming here,

changing the face of their
islands, and their way of life,

all in the name of progress.

I'd like to stop any
resentment before it starts.

Something more,
isn't there, sir?

You're right, Steve.

Sam Kalakua happens to be

a very close personal
friend of mine.

It's done, sir.

Thank you, Steve.

Already done, boss. I bailed
him out, took him home.

The last of the
bigtime spenders, huh?

How come?

Sam Kalakua is some
kind of distant uncle of mine.

He's the last of the anointed.

Sounds to me like
Kono's nine-tenth Hawaiian

and one-tenth cop.

For sure, Danny.

My great-grandfather
carried a spear

for Sam's great-grandfather.

Did he say anything about
his cutting loose with that rifle?

Yeah. He was shooting at Pele.

Oh, come on, Kono.
Pele, goddess of fire?

You got it, boss.

She's only a superstitious
legend. A myth.

She's real to Sam.

Says she came over
to his house last night.

He was trying to drive her off.

And did he drive her off?

Yeah, but she'll be
back. A war to the end.

Come one, Kono. We'd
better talk to Sam Kalakua.

Danno, hold down the fort.

That's Sam's kahuna.

How can a man cling
to the ancient beliefs

in this day and age?
Will you tell me?

People got to believe
in something, boss.

Even if it's a high
priest like the kahuna.

I'll buy that, Kono.

MCGARRETT: Good morning, sir.

What do you want here?

I'm Steve McGarrett,
Mr. Kalakua.

He's with you, Kono?

My boss.

Why have you come here?

Well, you were
involved in a little

trouble last night, Mr. Kalakua.

What happened last night
was not a police matter.

You fired a gun.
You were arrested.

That's a police matter.

A man's home is his castle.

And this is mine in
the most literal sense.

But if I were nothing more
than a man who buys his bread

by selling the flowers he grows,
I would have the same rights.

I was protecting myself.

From Pele?

Kono told you.

I'd like to ask you a
few questions about it.

No questions need to be asked
if no answers need to be given.

My statement is on record
down at your police headquarters.

Please leave me now.

Just a minute, sir.

Something happened
last night. Right here.

And you know that.

Now, I respect
your version of it,

but I'm a man of this century.

I say there is no such
thing as the goddess Pele.

My only son was
killed in the war.

If nothing else, that
tragedy makes me

a man of this century too.

I know what I saw last night.

It was Pele.

If I hadn't driven her
off, I would now be dead.

All right. Perhaps
you saw something.

A shadow. Maybe you dreamed it.

A man living alone
in a house like this

can see many things.

I saw Pele.

If she comes again, I
will defend myself again.

There is nothing
you can do about it.

You can be put in jail.

That would accomplish nothing.

She would only find me
there. I would be defenseless.

She would kill me, it
would be on your head.

Why would Pele wanna kill you?

I've already asked
the kahuna that.

He tells me she desires
my house to live in.

But why your house?

She will live only in the
house of the anointed,

in the place where
the royal ilima grows.

Did the kahuna say it
was okay to fight her off?

If I can.

Well, then, let us help you.

But you don't believe.

But you do.

Please, show us
where you saw her.

I was standing here.

Right here.

And then she appeared out there.

I fired three shots.

Finally, she disappeared.

Kono, check this area out here.

What did, uh...?

What did Pele look like?

She was ghostlike.

Many colors, all shimmering
like the fires of hell.

Did she talk to you?
Make any sound?

A wail.

A scream.

There was discordant music.

Once, I heard the rush of lava

as it neared the
mouth of the volcano.

Why do you look
at me so strangely?

Everything I've
told you is the truth.

I believe you.

Then, you will help me
fight Pele as you said?

I'll help you.

Mahalo.

Boss.

Found it near the bushes.

On a line from the
window he shot through.

Think it's anything?

I don't know.

Synthetic. It's burned
around the edges.

There's no sign
of a fire back there.

One of the bullets
he fired could have

ripped it away from
something. Huh?

I beg your pardon.

Were you here to
see Sam Kalakua?

Yes.

Well, I'm George
Kalakua. Sam's nephew.

And this is my wife, Eleanor.

How do you do? I'm
Steve McGarrett, Five-0.

You both know Kono.

Yes, of course.

Can we be of any help to you?

I suppose you're
here about last night.

That's right. Is there anything
you can tell us about it?

Well, there's really
not much to tell.

My uncle's getting very old.

I imagine the
return to some belief

in which he was raised
is only to be expected.

I can understand his calling
on the big kahuna for comfort

but how do you
account for a visitation

from the goddess Pele?

It is your first experience

with the Hawaiian dark
ages, Mr. McGarrett?

No, not yours, I
take it. So far as

Sam Kalakua's concerned.

He's had hallucinations before.

Has he had help?

Only from his kahuna.

Herbs and those things.

We've tried but he
won't see a doctor.

Have you tried to get
him to give up the house?

Often, but he won't hear of it.

Your concern seems more
than official, Mr. McGarrett.

He's a descendent of the great
kings of Hawaii, Mrs. Kalakua.

A fine old gentleman. Why
shouldn't we be concerned?

It's just that there's no need.

Let's consider
this a family affair.

We'll take care of Uncle.

The embarrassment
of an official mess,

we'd like very much to avoid
that if we can, McGarrett.

Okay?

Let's go.

Sam Kalakua.

(crashing)

Sam Kalakua.

Sam Kalakua.

Sam Kalakua.

Mr. Kalakua, I ask you again.

Why did you cause that explosion

to occur on your
property last night?

Why did you create
a hazardous situation

with possible grave
consequences,

both for yourself and
for your neighbors?

Will you answer me, please?

Why should I speak
while I am being held here

like some caged animal in a zoo?

Mr. Kalakua, this is an
informal preliminary hearing

to determine whether you
should or should not be bound over

for psychiatric examination.

Remaining silent can in
no way help your cause.

Your Honor, may I offer some
kind of an explanation, please?

I understand your concern
as a relative, Mrs. Kalakua.

But the explanation must
come from Mr. Kalakua.

Now, Mr. Kalakua, will
you tell us about your

behavior of last night?

It's very simple, Your Honor.

I threw the lamp
in self-defense.

When it landed
outside it exploded.

You mean, you saw an intruder?

No, but she was there.

She?

Pele, the goddess of fire.

Mr. Kalakua, are you
saying that you believe

you actually saw,

or somehow knew
that the goddess Pele

was present at your
home last night?

I am.

Your Honor, if I might
offer some explanation?

I think some is needed
somewhere, Mrs. Kalakua.

You know of
Mr. Kalakua's background,

of his roots in the
past of this island.

To him there is indeed
a spirit called Pele.

And he was trying
to defend himself

to keep her away with fire.

We all have beliefs that
seem strange to one another

and I think he's entitled to
his, except that his beliefs,

or his sense of
mysticism or whatever it is

that drove him to his actions,

seems a little more
pronounced in him than is normal.

My niece is
well-meaning but wrong.

I know what I see.

I know what I hear.

The goddess Pele
seeks my destruction

and I must defend
myself against her.

Your Honor? Yes, Mr. McGarrett?

I ask the court's permission
to propose an alternative

to an immediate
psychiatric examination.

And that is?

A recess of 48 hours.

Give Mr. Kalakua's friends
and relatives an opportunity

to investigate this matter
a little more thoroughly.

I realize this is not
the usual procedure

but this is not a usual case.

He's never been in trouble
before these incidents.

And I think that much
respect and consideration

is due this gentleman
who is a descendent

of the great kings of Hawaii.

Will you guarantee
Mr. Kalakua's appearance?

Yes, sir, I will.

Very well.

This court stands
adjourned until

day after tomorrow
at the same time.

Thank you, McGarrett.

No big thing, sir.

Danno, that old man
lives in the middle

of one of Hawaii's
biggest boom areas.

He's sitting on $3 million
worth of choice property.

You think someone's
trying to force him off of it?

I think it's a possibility.
Look into it, huh?

Kono, get ahold of Chin.

Go over the grounds again
around Kalakua's house.

What do we look for? Proof.

Absolute proof that
this is a police matter.

Go, brudda.

Something's eating you, Kono?

Who me? What
should be eating me?

Can't see much
haole blood in you.

Maybe this bit of goddess Pele

and the rest of it
is getting to you.

I'm a cop, remember?

Yeah. You're Hawaiian, remember?

Notice something, Kono?

Yeah, I notice.

Kalakua throws a burning
lamp out the window

only nothing out here burns.

It explodes and there's no sign.

Kerosene ain't digestible.

It's not kerosene.

It's a chemical of some kind.

Look at this.

You ready for a
goddess with an oil leak?

Just like you're ready
for a fire that doesn't burn.

Well.

Stick around, Williams.
You're good luck.

Maybe you can bring me some.

I'm trying to find
out who's interested

in the property owned
by Sam Kalakua.

Isn't every land developer?

Kalakua's ten acres
is worth a gold mine.

Crazy old man.

How's that?

Well, what has he
done with the property?

Turned it into a haunted
house in the middle of a jungle.

I'd be willing to pay him
a buck for every weed

he's got on the place.

If he'd only sell.

Have you made him an offer?

More than one.

He said no?

That's what I'm told.

What do you mean?

Well, who could talk to the nut?

My brokers had to yell at
him through the window.

He threatened them with a rifle

if they wouldn't
get off his property.

Tell me, would it be worth
any money to anybody

if they could
convince him to sell?

Are you kidding?

I'd be willing to put
out $100,000 in cash

as a finder's fee to anyone
who can convince that kook

to sell that property to me.

Oh, incidentally, would
you be interested?

A hundred big ones

if you can convince him
to sell that property to me.

How about it?

It's not exactly my
bag, Mr. Glazer.

Well, it's just a thought.

Somebody's gonna buy
that property someday.

Think about it, Wilson.

Williams.

Oh, yeah, Williams.

Well, as the man said,
"A rose by any other name"

And a hundred thou
is a hundred thou.

A hundred thousand dollars?

That's a lot of money
for a finder's fee, Danno.

Yeah.

Then I checked out a hunch.

I found there's a note on
George Kalakua's business

for $150,000 secured
by a chattel mortgage.

Who holds it?

Barney Glazer.

That's interesting.

What else do we have?

This piece of material
found yesterday.

Checked it out with the lab.

Special kind of shiny
fabric used to make

movie projection screens.

That's interesting too.

(knocks) Got something?

Got a report on the pieces
of lamp in the explosion.

Magnesium, sulfur,
nitrate, just a little kerosene.

Somebody loaded that lamp
with Chinese New Year's stuff.

Quite a combination.

Projection screens
and fireworks.

I don't get it.

I'm convinced
somebody's trying to force

Sam Kalakua off his property.

Why don't we tell
him he's being set up?

He'd never believe
it. We need proof.

Chin, see if you
can find out where

that fireworks
display came from.

Then you and Kono
stake out the house.

I want Sam Kalakua
under 24-hour surveillance.

I don't want anybody
getting to him again.

Good as done.

Danno,

see if you can
find out where this

projection screen
material came from.

Projection screen
distributors, wholesalers, stores.

If there's anything
unusual about it,

maybe it will lead us somewhere.

Right.

You know something?

They'll have to kill that old
man to get him out of there.

I think they tried.

What would have happened
if that lamp exploded

when he picked it up?

Well, Mr. McGarrett.

Care to join me for a dip?

There are trunks in
the dressing room.

No thanks.

A drink? Mm-mm.

No swim, no drink.

There must be some reason
you've come to see me.

Yeah. Curiosity.

Flattering, if it's about me.

About your husband.
Is he around?

If I know George,

he's around a bar someplace
with a girl much too young.

That doesn't bother you?

Let's say I've grown used to it.

And there are certain
practical advantages.

I trade a little pain
for a lot of luxury.

You're here about
George's uncle?

Yeah.

Why?

We think he's the
victim of a conspiracy.

I don't understand.

Well, we think that someone's
using his deep beliefs,

his primitive commitment
to the supernatural,

to gain control of his property.

I take it you can
prove what you say?

I'm gonna try.

Why here?

Why not?

You and your
husband know him best.

You're closest to him.

And to your policeman's
way of thinking

that makes us the
most logical suspects

to engage in a plan to drive
him out of his mind, is that it?

Is that what you're trying
to do, Mrs. Kalakua?

Oh.

You didn't come here to ask me

a question like
that, Mr. McGarrett.

If we're guilty, it's stupid.

And if we're
innocent, it's insulting.

So exactly why did you come?

Well, I have a
theory, Mrs. Kalakua.

I'm merely trying
to probe the areas

that might prove or disprove it.

Well, I have a theory
too, Mr. McGarrett.

That Uncle is growing senile.

And his superstitions
bring on the visions of Pele,

and those superstitions
may cause harmful injury

to himself or to others.

If the psychiatric
examination bears me out,

they'll have to
appoint a conservator.

And if it doesn't,

no one could be happier
than George and me.

So why don't you go play cops
and robbers someplace else?

And stop bothering me about
that poor superstitious old man.

All staked out.

H.P.D. is covering the
rear and the other side.

You okay?

Sure.

The last time I saw
you look like that,

someone had a gun at your head.

Ain't very funny, brudda.

You believe in Pele, huh?

You gotta be kidding.

I ain't believed in Pele
since I was 4 years old.

You know, I suddenly
feel like I'm 4 years old.

I'll check around.

Sam Kalakua.

Pele. Pele, stop.

No. Don't.

No! No! No! No!

Aah!

Where is he?

The doc's in there with him.

No business allowed.

How come you blew it?

We didn't blow anything, boss.

What's Sam Kalakua doing
here? Who got to him and how?

Nobody. So help me, nobody.

You're not making sense.

That's how it was.

We had the whole
grounds surrounded.

There wasn't a sound.

Not a light in the
house except for

the little lamp he
was reading by.

And then he screamed.

Man, what a scream.

Thought I'd fly up to

the second floor without wings.

That was all? Just a scream?

That's it.

We came in, found him
lying there on the floor,

nobody around.
No sign, no smell,

no sound of nothing.

How is he, doctor?

Heart action and respiration
indicate deep shock.

Tests show some kind of
a drug in the bloodstream.

Well, couldn't it be medicine,
sleeping pills of some sort?

No, it's not sedative.
Probably hallucinogenic.

Can you tell when he took it?

A few hours ago, perhaps.

Condition's critical right now.

Was he conscious
when they brought him in?

Semi.

He was fantasizing.

Mumbling something
about the goddess Pele.

Dr Moore, please
report to Surgery A.

Dr Moore, report to
Surgery A at once.

Excuse me, please.

There probably won't be
any change until morning.

Well, if there is, doctor,

call me at Five-0
office, McGarrett.

Of course.

How's Kalakua?

How would you feel if
somebody out of a volcano

wanted to lay it on you?

Got something, Danno?

Yeah, I think so.

I got a sample of
that projection screen

material you wanted.

It's pretty rare. It's
called French lite.

Uh-huh. Who uses it?

The only movie company
shooting on the island right now.

Hawaii.

Blinded by its own legend.

We print that.

We print that.

Kemp?

Williams, Five-0.

Is that your phone number, Jack?

We'd like to talk to you.

Oh, man, what's the
rap? What's the rap?

Using public property
for commercial purposes

without a license.

Let's go.

All right.

Nobody gets into
my patch of grass

until I get back, all right?

All right, Kemp,
you've been apprised

of your constitutional rights

and you also
know you're entitled

to have an attorney present.

What do I need an
attorney for, man?

I ain't done nothing.

What are you on, Kemp?

Pills? Acid? What?

Nothing. Nothing.

Just me, my
engaging personality.

I never could take pills. Ask
my mom, she's in Kansas.

Did you laugh that hard when
you drugged Sam Kalakua?

Oh, man, you're something else.

Oh, you are really
something else.

Man, why would I
give what's-his-face

a free trip to nirvana?

All I do is make movies,
like I told you, Jack,

and that is all.

That's all, man.

You ever use this
kind of process screen?

Sure. I get great
effects with it.

Psychedelic effects?

Oh, you guessed
it. The greatest.

You're pretty good.

Let me tell you.
There ain't none better.

There ain't none better, Jack.

Here, have a card.

You might want some baby
pictures made sometime.

Here, it says it right there:

"Alistair Kemp, the
world's greatest director."

See it right there?

We're very impressed.
You can do anything.

Well, Jack, if it can
be done with a camera,

the big K can do it.

Like making a ghost
come through that window?

Or that door?

Hey, man. What do you mean?

What is this ghost scene
you're talking about?

There's an old man lying
in a hospital right now.

He's liable to die.

And if he does, someone's
gonna be charged with murder.

Oh, man, you bug
me. You really bug me.

What has the big M got
to do with Alistair Kemp?

Could be you'll be
in Oahu State Prison

making movies
on a life contract.

(knocks)

Come in.

Getting anywhere?

Might be some sweat
forming inside that acidhead.

Good.

Stick with him, Danno.

Ten to one, he's
got the goddess Pele

stashed away
somewhere on a roll of film.

(phone buzzes)

Hello?

When?

Alert Fergus at H.P.D., I want
an all points out on the double.

Sam Kalakua's disappeared.

Sneaked out of the hospital.

Left a note saying he was
going somewhere to die.

Come on, Chin. Let's go.

You got a problem.

But I thought everything was...?

Steve McGarrett and his people
picked up Kemp this morning.

Anything happen?

Kemp said no.

He's an acidhead.

Something will
happen, believe me.

Well, what are we going to do?

You're sweating, George.

It's what you're gonna do.

I want Kalakua's ten acres
and I want it in 24 hours.

But there's no time.

Look, all you have to do is wait
until he's declared incompetent.

As executor, I can
sell the property...

Shut up, George.

You'll have your deed, Glazer.

I thought I would.

We read each other pretty good.

Why not? We have
a lot in common.

What happens if we don't
come up with it that quick?

Well, then generous Mr. Glazer

will take our business
and the house.

And little Eleanor's last
best dream of the jet set life.

I couldn't have put it any
better if I said it myself.

Well, what are we going to do?

Stupid, stupid, George.

I'm not stupid enough to think

we can drive Uncle
insane in 24 hours.

I don't care how
often he sees Pele.

We can't.

It would take at least a week
or more to have him committed

and another week
to get you appointed

executor of the estate.

That's what I said.

But there is one thing
we can do in 24 hours.

We can kill him.

Five hundred cops out there
looking for Sam Kalakua,

and we can't find him.

Nobody, but nobody knows
this island like Sam, boss.

He knows caves, ravines,
forests that ain't been found yet.

One thing for
sure, he's too smart

to come back to this house.

He knows it's staked out.

Hospital's covered in
case he goes back there.

Not a chance, Chin.

Sam Kalakua's out
there somewhere

saying goodbye to
his beloved island.

Feeling he's doomed
and wanting to die.

You're uptight, boss.

The APB will pick him up.

Alive or dead?

(praying in foreign dialect)

You spoke of this place often.

I was hoping I
might find you here.

It is here I played as a child.

It is here that I now
pray as an old man.

Why have you come?

The police are looking for you.

Your picture is in every paper.

They hunt me as
a beast is hunted.

I say to you, I have never
raised my hand to mankind.

My only sins are the
private sins of the soul.

So if you've come to
take me back, it is too late.

For Pele will no
longer be denied.

She will have my life
after the sky grows dark.

I already feel the
weakening in my bones,

a corruption in the heart,

and the blood that
sustains me turns to venom.

I just heard your prayer.
You asked for your kahuna.

Why do you want him?

I seek his final blessings,

to sustain me in the
fires of Pele's world.

But I have searched
for him everywhere.

I fear I will not
find him in time.

I can help you, Uncle.

But how can I send
you to him to die?

I must pray with him,

without his final blessings,

I will be tortured
by Pele for eternity.

Please, nephew.

All right.

I heard he was last seen
meditating on Na Pali.

Na Pali. I will go to him.

What about the police?

There are many ways to Na
Pali. Dark and long forgotten.

But I remember.

Bless you, my nephew.

May the gods of the kupuna

smile on you and
your beloved wife.

Anybody here?

Anybody here?

Oh, yeah.

What are you?
Some kind of klepto?

I mean, ain't there laws

against cops
moonlighting as criminals?

That's my work of art.

Your work of art
happens to be evidence.

And I've got a piece
of paper in my pocket

to prove I can take it.

Paper? What do I
care about paper?

That's museum material
you got there, square.

Hey, cats, help!

Get him, cats.

Hold it.

Your friend here is involved in
several charges of conspiracy

and he's in a lot of trouble.

You want to join
him, try to stop us.

Let's go, Kemp.

Hey, barbarian, there's
prizewinning film in there.

Don't worry, you're
gonna get something

for it, I'll promise
you that. Come on.

Hold it, Chin. Hold it.

Run it back, slowly.

Now forward, a few frames.

Stop.

There it is. There's our proof.

Eleanor Kalakua as
Pele, goddess of fire.

Boss?

Yeah?

Got a call from
one of my cousins.

Just spotted Sam Kalakua.

He's on his way out to Na Pali.

Let's go, Danno.

( action theme playing)

(sirens blaring)

Kahuna!

Mighty kahuna!

Show yourself to your
son, the anointed one!

Bless me, great priest,

so that I will have the
strength to withstand

Pele's fiery breath.

PELE: Sam Kalakua.

Sam Kalakua.

The kahuna will not come to you.

It is I, Pele, who
has come for you.

No.

No.

Please, Pele, no!

I have come for
you, Sam Kalakua.

I am waiting.

No!

You can not defy me!

Your doom awaits

now.

Now.

MCGARRETT: Sam!

Aah!

Easy, Sam. It's all over.

But Pele is not
mortal. She cannot die.

But your niece is.

And she has died.

Come on.

It looks good,
sir. It looks good.

I'd like to ask you a
question, Mr. McGarrett.

What's gonna happen
to my nephew, George?

Oh, he'll stand trial along with

Barney Glazer and Alistair Kemp.

But I am not a vengeful man.

Forgiveness is a way to heaven.

My father used to say:

"'Tis easier for the
generous to forgive

than for offense to ask it."

Mahalo, McGarrett.

You're welcome, sir.

And don't worry about Pele.

She won't bother
this house again.

Because it doesn't
belong to either of you.

It belongs to the future.