Hawaii Five-0 (2010–…): Season 6, Episode 22 - I'ike Ke Ao - full transcript

You're still going to
Justin's thing tonight, right?

Yeah.

I'll probably get there
around 11:00.

Depends on how much wine
Mr. and Mrs. Hiller drink

at dinner tonight.

Can't believe you get paid
15 bucks an hour

to sit on your ass all night.

Well, occasionally
the baby cries,

and I have to go check on her.

But, yeah, I, uh, pretty much
just watch Netflix.

Whatever.



So let me ask you something,

does this outfit look
too trashy for tonight?

Well, on, like,
a scale of from

Taylor to Miley,

you're, um...

you're at a Kardashian level
of trashiness right now.

Which one?

Does it matter?

Ugh. I'm gonna change.

Text me when you're done.

Okay.

Lates.

(Hawaii Five-O
theme song plays)

♪ Hawaii Five-O 6x22 ♪
I'ike Ke Ao
(For the World to Know)
Original Air Date on April 22, 2016



== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

Thanks

Thank you.
Keep the change.

Oh, that was fun.

Oh, yeah.

Night's not over.

Ooh, save it
for the bedroom, cowboy.

Or...

Or what?

Well, we still have
the sitter for a half hour.

Thought we'd give the hammock
in the backyard a try.

Oh, please.

I am not taking you
to the emergency room

for a sex-related injury.

All right.

Open the door.

Addison?

Mr. and Mrs. Hiller.

Don't be alarmed,
I'm with STS Security.

I was dispatched to check on
an alarm incident.

Why are you holding my baby?

She was crying.

No one else was home.

I don't understand,
if the alarm went off,

why didn't anybody call us?

Oh, my God!

Please don't do this.

Please.

For thousands of years,

man has taken to the sea,

building vessels to conquer
the mighty ocean.

Now, after nearly a year

of planning,

months of robust pre-sale,

finally time
for my inaugural voyage

of my latest and greatest

enterprise:

Kamekona inter-island
booze cruise.

Congratulations, big guy.

We knew you could do it.

Well, not to be a killjoy,

but as ship medic,

I do have to advise that

consuming alcohol
could severely impair

our ability to operate
this vessel safely.

Well, as the first
mate-slash-DJ-slash bartender,

I got one thing to say to that:

Overruled.
Boom.

I'd like to throw out
a special thank you

to my bruddah
from another mudda,

Steve McGarrett,

for generously
offering his services

as nautical consultant
for this test run.

Pro Bono, I might add.

Yeah, we, uh,
we firmly established

that I won't be getting paid, so
why don't we christen this lady,

and get her out on the water?

I'll drink to that.

Although I do have to admit
I am perplexed

by the name that Kamekona
has chosen for her.

I didn't pick it, Doc.

This boat is from a HPD
property forfeiture auction.

Re-painting wasn't
in the budget.

Not after he blew it all
on this.

Oh!

Wow.

Yeah, that's impressive.

Cuz is a straight-up wizard

when it comes to branding.

All right, all right,
let's make this official.

McGarrett, want to
do the honors?

Really?

What, you couldn't spring
for a bigger bottle?

It's a ceremonial gesture.

Ceremonial, okay.

To the sea,

to the sailors of old,

and to the SS Thong Magnet.

Mazel tov.

McGarrett.

Oh, no.

Chin, what do you got?

Joel and Susan Hiller.

Housekeeper arrived this morning

and found them
tied up on the floor.

Their infant daughter, however,
was left untouched in her crib.

I thought this was a kidnapping.

If the parents are accounted for
and so is the kid,

who's the victim?

Addison Wells.
22 years old,

originally from Minnesota.

She's currently a senior
at Oahu State.

She started babysitting
for the Hillers six months ago.

Parents are getting
on a flight to Hawaii.

Minneapolis PD is up
on the phones,

but so far no ransom call.

Well, I think if
they wanted a ransom,

they would've taken the kid.

I agree, the Hillers
have deep pockets.

But the kidnapper was interested
in Addison, not a payday.

Okay, putting motive aside
for a minute,

why did he abduct her from here?

That's a good point.

Seems risky.
Well, Addison lived on campus

and the access to the dorms
is tightly controlled.

So grabbing her here may have
been his best opportunity.

Right, it also means

he was stalking her long enough
to know her schedule, right?

Yeah.

CSU ran diagnostics
on the Hiller security system.

The alarm was disabled
from a remote location

just prior to the abduction.

Kidnapper must have hacked it.
That takes considerable skill.

Well, skills he's got.

He hacked the entire house.

Everything connected
with the home's network,

from the thermostat,

to the baby monitor,
the security cameras,

even that laptop
that belongs to the Vic.

All right, get this
computer to Jerry.

Let's sit the Hillers down
with an HPD sketch artist.

If our perp went to this much
trouble to abduct Addison,

I hate to think what
he's gonna do to her.

Were you two close?

Yeah, I'd say so.

Was she seeing anybody maybe?

Does she have a boyfriend?

No, there was this guy
she met online,

but that didn't pan out.

Why? What happened?
I don't know.

They never actually met
face to face.

They e-mailed back and forth
for, like, a month,

and then it just suddenly ended.

How come? Did she say?

No, I asked.

She clearly didn't want
to talk about it.

But I think the guy
really creeped her out.

Hmm.

Do you recall if she ever
mentioned this guy's name?

Jeremy.

Meet Jeremy F.

His online dating profile showed
up on Addison's browser history.

I also found a trove of deleted
e-mails between the two of them

going back over a month.

Just scanning through them,

I'd say their correspondence
could best be described as,

well, "intimate."

Yeah, one problem.

This photo doesn't look anything
like the composite sketch

we got on our perp.

There's a pretty good
reason for that.

Knowing that many people often
misrepresent themselves

on the Internet,

I did a reverse image search,

and the photos were stolen
from this guy.

He is a collegiate rugby player

from Melbourne, Australia.

His favorite movie is
The Shawshank Redemption,

and his social media profile

is set to public, which means
that anyone in the world

can download these images.

Okay, so Jeremy F
took this guy's photos

to catfish our victim.

Exactly.

And once Addison realized this,

she sent him
a strongly worded e-mail,

threatened to call the cops

if he ever tried
to contact her again,

and that's where
the correspondence ended.

And I'll just bet this creeper

couldn't take no for an answer.

So he started stalking

this poor woman until he could
find the perfect opportunity

to grab her.

Okay, Jerry, we're gonna need
to trace these e-mails.

I hear you, but our kidnapper
is no amateur.

He was smart enough
to send the e-mails

through a secure
socket tunneling protocol.

CSU's working to
break the encryption,

but it's gonna take time.

Jerry, that's time
we don't have.

Come on, I mean,
this girl's life is at stake.

Well, unless you know
of some computer genius

who can do the work of an entire
crime lab in half the time,

we're out of luck.

Actually,

I know just the guy.

Here's
your sunrise cocktail, sir.

Thank you.

Ah.

Oh, please, God,

if you exist, prove it to me
right here and now.

Thank you.

Hi, excuse me, um,

is that you on the cover
of that magazine?

Oh, boy, that's so embarrassing.

My publicist insisted
that I do it.

My name's Adam.

My friends call me Toast.
Mia.

I should probably know
who you are.

Not unless you're a gamer.

Yeah, I created one
of the fastest grossing

mobile games of all time.

We hit ten million downloads
in the first month.

Oh, wow, that's incredible.

That's what Tim Cook said.

But enough about me,

what is it that you do?

Um, I'm a model.

I was just in Lanai doing
a swimwear shoot.

Ah. Swimwear, very cool.

So, what brings you
to Los Angeles today, Toast?

Waffles.

What?

Well, not just waffles,
fried chicken too.

Have you ever been
to Roscoe's

in Hollywood?

Uh, yeah, sure.
It's great.

I don't know if I'd travel
3,000 miles for it.

Yeah, well,

clearly you're not as dedicated
to excellent waffles as I am.

But if you're free later, I'd
love to take you to breakfast.

You do know we land
at 5:00, right?

I don't do time zones.

I do, however,

very much enjoy
a good breakfast,

hence the name.

You're funny.

And you're
mind-blowingly attractive.

You're gonna just pretend

like you didn't see us or what?

Hey.

Jersey. McGruff.

What a coincidence.

You guys going to LA?

No.

No, and neither are you.

Impeccable timing
as always, fellas.

Thanks to you, I am not
having chicken and waffles

with a bona fide ten.

Hold on, hold on.

Stop. You?

You created Poopie Penguin?

Yeah.

Unbelievable.

What's Poopie Penguin?
That's right.

What's Poopie Penguin?

What's Poopie-- what are you--
you live under a rock?

Poopie Penguin is a game that
you play on your cell phone

where you're a penguin, and
you're flying around in the air,

and you poop on people's
heads for points.

Penguins don't fly.

No.

They do in my universe.

Let me explain something to you,

my kids, Charlie and Grace,
they play this game non-stop.

Must have spent $100
on it just last month.

Yeah, that's the beauty
of in-app purchases.

Yeah, I don't think there is
anything beautiful about it.

I think that it is a scam.

You're ripping off children
is what you're doing.

I mean, you give them
the app for free,

and then they got to pay
if they want to keep playing

for the power-ups and the boosts
or whatever you call it.

You're like a drug dealer
pushing dope.

First taste is free,
then they're hooked for life.

Don't hate the player,
hate the game.

I hate the game, I do very much.

Would you please stop
and let him focus?

He needs to focus.
This is important.

I'm just curious,

how do you think
of something like that anyway?

Ah, simple.

A, poop is funny.
I'll give you that.

B, it's relatable,
everybody poops.

And C,

it's easy to monetize.

I mean, biology tells us that
in order to poop,

you have to eat,
and I control the food supply.

All right with
the biology, okay?

You sell 99 cent

virtual penguin food,
all right?

Get over yourself.

Winner, winner,

chicken-waffle dinner.

You got a location?

I do.

It looks like
those catfish e-mails were sent

from an office building
downtown.

Toast, talk to me.

Keep going about ten more yards,

and then head right.
Signal's tracing

to a terminal
in the far corner.

Can I help you?

You got a beautiful family,
Mr. Mintz.

I imagine they're not
gonna be too pleased

when they find out
that their old man

is an online predator.

Please,
you have to understand,

I'm not a bad person.

Okay.

Look, Addison Wells found out
who you really were,

and then all of a sudden
she-she ends up missing.

H-How do you explain that?

Now, look, I admit
that I misrepresented myself

to Addison,

but I had nothing to do
with her disappearance.

It was all just a fantasy.

I never planned on acting on it.

Chin showed Mintz's photo
to the Hillers.

They don't seem to think
he's our guy.

I'm not surprised, look at this.

Mintz was perving on at least

a dozen other women, and he
was actually at this terminal

chatting one of them
up last night.

He logged off around 11:00 p.m.

Okay. There's no way

he could've been in Kahala
at the time of the abduction.

Please. Please.

Please.

Please let me go.

I don't want to die here.

Please.

Please let me go.

Toast just did a sweep
of Addison's laptop.

Found something
the crime lab missed.

Spyware.

And she had it bad.

I'm not talking about the kind
that slows your computer down,

and gives you pop-up
ads for boner pills.

I'm talking about Cherry Bomb.

What's "Cherry Bomb?"

It's like Microsoft Office
for black hat hackers.

It's a suite of malware
that includes key loggers,

root kits, and
fingerprint evasions

Real scary stuff.

The thing is,
we found the executable file

that infected Addison's system.

It was installed
over five months ago.

So the spyware landed
on her computer before

she was catfished by Mintz,

which means that it had to be
her kidnapper who infected her.

We find out who's behind
the hack, we found our guy.

Okay, guys,

I don't know who attacked
Addison's computer,

but I might know
someone who does.

Dude, what are you doing?

Just keeping it real.

I don't want the old crew
thinking I sold out.

Why do you think we parked
two blocks away?

I can't believe this.

We're sending Scooby and Shaggy
in to work this lead.

Password.

Joshua.

Nice.

Joshua was the backdoor password
that Matthew Broderick used

to access the Cheyenne Mountain
Nuclear Complex

in the 1983 sci-fi classic
War Games.

That's right.

Your nerd credentials
are in order, you may enter.

So, which one of these
lovable rogues is our Han Solo?

10 o'clock.

In the bean bag chair.

He goes by Null Legend.

He authored Cherry Bomb.

Well, look at this.

Captain Bird Turd is slumming it
with the code jockeys again.

What, did you blow through
your millions already?

Nope.

I was hoping you could
help my boy here.

See, someone's been using Cherry
Bomb to creep on his sister.

Sorry to hear,

but I just give people
the tools to hack,

it's up to them
to do so responsibly.

Besides, my customers pay
top dollar to stay anon.

Except they're not
so anonymous to you.

We both know that you
keep records of all your buyers,

so that way,
if the heat does come down,

you've got someone to roll on.

Let me be clear, okay?

It's not that I can't help you,
it's that I don't want to.

And I think you know why.

This is going great.

About as well as I expected.

Okay, all right.

Okay, it's obvious you two
have some history,

but can we just take a step back
and focus on my problem?

Hold that thought, Jerry.

Patrick here was about to
tell us how I stole his idea.

First of all,

very uncool using my real name,

and second,
you did steal my idea.

Here we go.
Okay, remember?

We were blasting a J
in the Zippie's parking lot

and a bird dropped a deuce
right on my shoulder,

and then we started talking
about how that would make

a cool video game.

Yeah, but in your version the
player was just an average dude

who was trying to avoid
getting pooped on.

It was my idea to make
the player the pooper,

not the poopee.

Plus, when I brought it up to
you a couple days later,

you said, quote,

"That's the dumbest idea ever,"
enquote.

In my defense,

I was sober when I said that.

Okay, look, Null Legend,
or Patrick,

whatever your name is...

It's Patrick.

Patrick.

...the customer
you're protecting,

the guy in this picture,
he kidnapped a girl.

Dude, your sister was kidnapped?

No that was just a clever ruse.

I'm actually with Five-O.

And all I got to do is
say the word,

and the cavalry
will storm this place,

seize every computer in here,
and arrest your entire crew.

How many customers are gonna
want to do business

with you then?

I can't believe you
narc'd me out.

I can't believe
you're still running Linux

on a 32-bit Samurai stack.

Get out of the dark ages, dude.

Also, get us that name.

Yeah.

Let's get HPD and CSU down here,

tear this place apart.

Yo.

Okay, so this place is leased
to a guy named Jacob Holm.

Neighbors have not seen him
for at least a couple days.

Well, it probably means
Addison was never here, right?

Okay, so this is what
we know about Jacob Holm.

He worked in I.T.
at a local law firm.

That was, until he was fired for
downloading confidential files

off the company's server.

Yeah, Holm's bosses
agreed to drop the charges

if he just returned
the stolen data,

but instead
he turned around and leaked

hundreds of e-mails to the press

proving that the law firm was
wrapped up in all kinds of dirt.

They were destroying evidence,
covering up fraud,

even threatened witnesses.

When the story broke, the press
branded Holm a "hacktivist."

He ended up serving 18 months
of a five year sentence,

and, uh, he was released
last July.

Where'd you find all this stuff?

Folder in his nightstand.

Ah, so he's proud of it.
He thinks he's a hero?

It doesn't make any sense.

I mean, Holm's one prior arrest

was for a crime that was
ideologically motivated.

All right, how does a guy
go from hacking a law firm

to kidnapping a college kid?

Ahoy, Captain!

Ahoy.

I'm sorry, I don't mean
to be a backseat sailor,

but just want to make sure
everything's all right

with the ship.

All good, bruddah.
Why you asking?

Well, it's just that,
according to my calculations,

it appears that we've travelled
approximately ten feet

in the last 40 minutes.

What?
How is that possible?

It appears that our vessel
is currently becalmed.

I would put the wind speed
at a one on the Beaufort scale.

English.

There is no wind,

hence the boat isn't moving.

Flippa!

Flippa!

What gives, brah?

You're supposed to be my GPS.

Sorry, cuz, I got seasick.

I see why our navigation
system's on the fritz.

Well, leaving your first mate
in charge of the liquor

may not have been
the most prudent move.

Don't sweat it, Doc.

I got an auxiliary engine

just for this situation.

I assume you checked
that the battery was charged

before we set sail.

This thing has a battery?

Mayday. Mayday.

This is the SS Thong Magnet

needing emergency assistance.

And I'm afraid the radio is
powered by the battery as well.

And we lost cell service
a few hours ago.

Why are you so calm about this?

Well, I project
outward confidence

as a way of coping with stress.

Inside, I'm terrified.

We're gonna die out here.

Nobody's dying on my watch.

All we got to do is send
a distress signal up.

Coast Guard will come

and tow us to shore.

You got to be kidding me, brah.

Must be a safety-- give it here.

Sure, let the drunk guy
handle the firearm.

Great idea.

Everyone chill, I got this.

Well, there's no missing that.

I heard you got something.

Yeah, Addison wasn't the only
person that Holm was spying on.

Looks like he put spyware
onto over 1,000 machines.

He was targeting other victims.

Exactly, and it looks like
he may have selected one.

He's got a folder with this
guy's name on it, Jason Putnam.

Whoa, that's a lot of data.

Over a terabyte.

E-mails, financials,

recorded phone calls, he even
has video and screen caps

from a bunch
of hijacked camera feeds.

Who is Jason Putnam?

My name is Jason Putnam,

and I have something to confess.

Over the past year,

while working
as a private financial advisor,

I embezzled over $800,000.

Mostly from elderly clients

whom I believed were less likely
to detect the fraud.

Jason Putnam posted

this video to his profile
three days ago

and it immediately
went viral.

Uh-huh, so this guy's
robbing old folks

for their live savings.

I imagine the Internet
was not too kind.

It was brutal.

He was publically eviscerated.

But since then, no one
has seen or heard from him.

His family contacted HPD

'cause they were concerned
about his mental state.

He's currently classified

as an "Endangered
Missing Adult."

Okay, but clearly Putnam
didn't go missing on his own.

I mean, Holm kidnapped him
and forced this confession.

Guys, check this out.

Found these on Holm's server.

They're camera feeds
and they're live.

All right, can we trace
where they're coming from?

Yeah, sure,
but there's 17 of them,

and they're coming
from all over the island.

From what I can tell,
it's mostly abandoned buildings

and vacant homes.

Well, obviously he was
staking these places out.

Maybe it's where he was
planning on taking his victims.

That's what I was afraid of.
Check this out.

That's a body.

What is it?

This is the fallout
to his confession.

What do you think,
he was making Putnam watch it?

That's exactly what I think.

And then he left him
locked up in here

with only one way out.

Thought we had
lost you there, cuz.

Get off me.

What happened?

You don't remember?

We were just floating out there
on that life raft.

And I spotted land.
That's right.

You were so excited, you jumped
up and lost your balance.

By the time we got you
back in the raft,

you had swallowed so much water,
that you passed out.

Doc had to do mouth to mouth
to get you breathing again.

Ah.

Glad to see you back on
your feet, Captain.

Where the hell are we?

Now, that is a good question.

My best bet is we're on one
of the uninhabited islands

of the Hawaiian chain.

Most likely Lehua.

Lehua?

Now, all we have to do is
survive until we get discovered.

Fortunately, I had a have a
head start on building the fire.

I did it
while you were unconscious.

At least we'll be warm
while we starve to death.

Oh, nonsense.

I also collected some crickets
and caterpillars

for our dining pleasure.

They're an excellent
source of protein.

I grabbed what I could...

before our ship burnt up.

If we ration it,

could last us a few days.

Talk to me, what do we have?

Mochi balls.

Love those.

And a bottle of ouzo.

Who's up for some sing-a-longs?

That sounds delightful.

Sorry, cuz.

If I die first,

I want you to eat me.

Nobody's gonna eat you.

So what are you saying,
I'm not good enough for you?

Why wouldn't you eat me?

Guys, over here!

Check it out,

Doctor, regular MacGyver.

Actually, it's basic physics.

The lens focuses the light to
generate enough heat to burn.

Now all we need to do
is stoke the flame.

I'll do you one better, brah.

Oh! - Yeah!
Whoa.

It's always nice to have
flammable material.

And alcohol.

All right, thanks, dude.

All right, so HPD checked
all the locations

that Holm was surveilling,
no sign of Addison.

Okay, so this guy, he abducts
Addison for a specific reason,

but it's not 'cause
she's young and pretty.

No.

It's because she's got
something that she's hiding

and this guy
wants to expose her.

Exactly, that's what he does,
he prowls the Internet

looking for victims
who have dark secrets

and then he forces them
to confess 'cause...

what, he's a vigilante
with a god complex.

No, this guy's face
is all over the news.

Okay, and that is why

he didn't take her to
any of those spots, right?

I mean, he's smart,
he knows we'd be on 'em.

He's smart,
he's also a psychopath.

I'm not looking forward to
seeing what this guy does

now that his back's
against the wall.

Please.

I don't want to die.

I'm not the one
who's a murderer.

This link was just posted

to Addison's profile page.

It's a Web stream.
It's about to go live.

Toast?
I'm on it.

My name is Addison Wells.

As most of you know,
I was kidnapped last night.

But what you don't know
is the reason why.

For years now,
Toast, talk to me.

I've been keeping a secret.
He's got the feed on a five-second relay.

It's being bounced off proxy
servers all over the world.

run from it, put it behind me,
Well, can you trace it?

but I wrong.
I could if I had a few hours.

I moved to Hawaii...
Brah, we don't have a few hours.

If we don't find this guy
by the end of this feed,

this girl is as good as dead.

Yeah, enough
with the pressure, man.

And I haven't even smoked
my morning bowl yet.

The truth is

I haven't been honest
about who I am

and the mistakes
that I have made.

And now I'm going to confess.

We're running out of time.

Five years ago in Pl...

What the hell just happened?

She just got played off
by Fatso the Keyboard Cat.

Somebody deliberately
knocked that feed offline.

And that someone was me.

Toast, what are you doing?

I'm getting you your location

the only way I know how.

Holm can't reestablish
a connection

without exposing his location.
It's genius.

And what if he just decides
to kill this girl? What then?

Then I guess
I'll look pretty dumb.

This doesn't change anything.

When that light goes back on,

you say exactly
what I told you to.

It worked.
He took the bait.

Not so fast.

I still have to zero in
on his location.

How long?
17 seconds,

give or take.

This is my confession.

Five years ago
in Plymouth, Minnesota...

...I was driving my car
late at night...

when I struck a pedestrian,

killing him instantly.

In my statement,
I told the police

that the victim stepped
into traffic

and that I didn't have
enough time to brake,

but that was a lie.

The truth is...

I wasn't even looking
at the road when it happened.

I was on my phone,
reading a text.

Because of my own carelessness,

an innocent man died.

There hasn't been a day
that's gone by

that I haven't thought about it.

I'm so sorry.

Got him.

I wanted to tell his family.

I even wrote the e-mail
that I was gonna send.

But you never did, did you?

Sorry.

And now the world will see you
for what you really are:

a coward and a liar.

3236.

You're letting me go?

No.

Even if I did,

there would be nothing left
to go back to, would there?

But...

...I will show you some mercy.

This is Officer Kalakua
requesting HPD and SWAT support.

The address is
5625 Hoala Street in Waimalu.

We got blood.

You all right?
Are you hurt?

I've got you. It's all over now.

♪ Watching people pass me by ♪

♪ Anything to pass the time ♪

♪ Weird to think ♪

♪ We're all the same ♪

♪ Completely different ♪

♪ Ain't it strange ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Whoa, I see ♪

♪ This world ♪

♪ Surrounding me ♪

♪ And I hope ♪

♪ That someday ♪

♪ That we can learn to love ♪

♪ Just one more day. ♪

Wonderful!

Thanks.

Dang, cuz.

You got to perform a gig
at the shrimp truck.

Pro Bono?

At least until you win
your first Grammy.

Well, since we're
on the topic of regrets--

you not pursuing your music--
I'll share mine.

Years ago
I had the opportunity

to participate
in Doctors Without Borders.

It was a six month stint
in Mozambique,

but I decided not to take it.

Why not?

Well, you know, dealing with
living, breathing patients

isn't exactly my strong suit.

That's why I took up a career
in forensic pathology.

Apparently,
some people consider me

awkward and off-putting.

No, that's crazy.

No way, Doc, not you.

Thank you.

And yourself, any regrets?

Please.

I'm a two-time felon.

I own four businesses now.

I got no regrets.

Actually, cuz,

business number four
is currently resting

at the bottom of the Pacific.

It's a small setback.

When the insurance cash kick in,

we'll be back in action.

Thong Magnet Two?

Featuring the music stylings

of Shawn "Flippa" Tupuola.

Yeah.

Well, I think we should
call it a night.

Come 6:00 a.m. the sun
is gonna be blazing.

Good night, Doc.

Good night, Flippa.

Good night, Kamekona.

Good night, Doc.

Good night, little cuz.

Good night, big cuz.

Good night, stars.

Good night, moon.

What was that?

It's a signal.

Somebody found us.

We're saved.

Actually, I believe
those are fireworks.

Fireworks?

Look, Cheryl, natives.

Aloha.

"Uninhabited" you said.

There's a resort
on this island?

Apparently so.

And judging from where
those fireworks are coming from,

I'd say it's less
than 100 yards away.

Oops.

Gross.

Oh, no, not again.

Okay, how am I supposed to poop
on the skateboard kids

when they're moving so fast?

This-- it's impossible.

Well, you got to fill up
on the meatball sub.

Larger bowel capacity,

bigger blast radius.

Oh.

Awesome. Awesome.

Gross.

Ew, penguin poop.

Hey, again, I'm sorry
about this morning.

I didn't mean to cramp
your style, but, uh, you know,

it was worth it, right?

Yeah, no problem.

Now we all get to go
have chicken and waffles.

I just feel bad that

they didn't have room
for everyone

in first class.

Oh, don't worry about
those guys-- they're fine.

I got pooped on again.

What the hell.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man