Hawaii Five-0 (2010–…): Season 10, Episode 6 - A'ohe Pau ka 'ike i ka Halau Ho'okahi - full transcript
PILOT: This is Eagle 3, HPD Air Support.
We have eyes on a 10-80 that
committed a vehicular homicide,
heading Makai on Palolo Avenue.
OFFICER: This is
2-Bravo 727 in pursuit.
Suspect's driving erratically
and at speeds in excess of...
(car horn honks)
He just blew another stop sign.
(tires squealing, sirens wailing)
PILOT 2: 727, copy.
Please update position.
OFFICER: Suspect now turning
eastbound on Kaau Street.
Wait. Correction.
He's now turning Makai
again on Pukelele.
PILOT 1: Air support requesting backup.
We're at bingo fuel.
DISPATCHER: This is
153 Central. PIT 'em.
OFFICER: 10-4 on the PIT maneuver, 153.
(tires squealing)
All right, move in.
Driver, open the door slowly.
Exit with your hands above your head.
Get out of the car now.
Hands where we can see them.
Cover him. Driver, open the door.
(Hawaii Five-O theme song playing)
Gentlemen.
Hey.
Check it, my dudes, Five-O HQ.
It's like the Batcave up in here.
Yeah, the Christian Bale Batcave.
- Not that goofy old-school one.
- Oh, so true.
- STEVE: How you doing, guys?
- Wow.
I'm Commander Steve McGarrett. Welcome.
Oh, very cool, sir.
Anything you want to say to the fans
of Scooter and the Skeez?
Yeah, you can't film in here.
- Totes get it.
- Our bad.
- Commander.
- Yes.
Your reputation precedes you.
You are, like, a legit
legend around here.
The knowledge we soak up
from shadowing you today
will for sure level up
our recruitment video.
Well, I really appreciate that, guys.
Thank you very much. Unfortunately,
uh, I can't shadow with you guys today.
You will be with my colleagues,
- Officer Tani Rey...
- Hello.
And Quinn Liu.
I think you'll find they're
both very knowledgeable,
very professional, and
very patient, right, guys?
- Mm-hmm. Yes.
- SCOOTER: Oh, legit.
So, I'm gonna leave you guys.
Have a great day. I'll
see you later. All right?
(quietly): Okay, well, you're
the millennial whisperer.
Lead the way.
Okay. Scooter and Skeez,
the governor hired you to
make a recruitment video
for the HPD, and apparently
we're at your disposal today.
So, do you have any
questions before we start?
- I got one.
- Okay.
We kind of overslept, haven't
gotten our nosh on yet.
Do you guys know any good
brunch spots around here?
Millennial whisperer?
TANI: All right, then, let's go
munch on some grindage.
SCOOTER: Sweet.
♪ ♪
(indistinct radio transmission)
So, go ahead, make my morning.
I'll do my best.
Officers surveilling a
high-traffic narcotics area
in Kalihi spotted a suspicious vehicle.
When they tried to pull
it over, it took off,
blowing through an intersection
and killing a pedestrian.
Patricia Martin, local teacher.
Duke's handling the notification.
Is the driver in custody?
Yeah, about that.
So no one's driving.
What is this, the robot apocalypse?
Well, actually, autonomous vehicles have
a fail-safe in place so they
can be controlled remotely.
It's called teleoperations.
We think that's how this
car was being steered.
Yeah, I know about
it, but that technology
is not street legal.
So what's the car doing on
the road in the first place?
Nah, the plates are fake
and the VIN's been filed off.
And whoever sent it out into the wild
was smart enough not to
leave any prints on it.
Yeah, then I found this
in a box on the front seat
with 400 bucks inside.
Aha. Okay.
So you got a remote-controlled car
that goes through a
high-traffic drug area.
Comes out with $400.
Can you connect the dots?
Yeah, I mean, it looks to me like
some tech-savvy drug
dealers have found a way
to mitigate the risk of their
own guys ratting on them.
Smart. I get it.
Except now someone's dead,
and now they're on the hook
for a lot more than drug trafficking.
Yeah. The question is,
who's behind the controls?
(singers vocalizing)
♪ ♪
Whoa.
Sorry about before,
filming inside your office.
It's just that we constantly
got to feed the beast.
The beast?
I think they mean YouTube.
Our fans' demand for content is insane.
You slow down for a
second, you get trampled
by whoever's coming up behind you.
- Sounds stressful.
- SKEEZ: Mad stressful.
I barely got eight last night.
Insomnia is a silent killer.
Look, it may not seem like it,
but we take our work seriously.
62% retention among teens with
four-second attention spans
is straight fire.
We may look like a
couple of dumb kids...
Never crossed my mind.
But it takes effort to
look this effortless.
Take this recruitment video for example.
Say it sucks. Then we lose eyeballs,
which means we lose dollars
and then let down your governor.
And you... maybe you lose
the next great young recruit.
And maybe the police force suffers.
And maybe people get hurt.
I mean, I don't want to say
we're saving lives out here, but...
SCOOTER: Yeah.
Bet you hadn't thought about it
that way before.
- Nope.
- You are right.
We have never thought about it that way.
FLIPPA: Next.
Flippa. Hello.
We have guests dining with us today.
Of course. We heard you
guys were on your way over.
Cuz already has you all set up.
Oh.
Oh, wow, look at this.
Fresh grindz for our VIPs.
Thank you.
- Not for you. Scooter and Skeet.
- (slurping)
- "Skeez."
- Yeah, right.
Big fan. Longtime follower, brah.
Really, Kamekona? How long?
Long enough to know they got
the beaucoup followers on Instagram.
By the way, that reminds me,
lunch is on the house today.
Awesome.
As long as I get a
selfie with both of you
- to post on my Insta.
- Oh, see that?
Big man knows what's up.
Eyeballs are currency.
Which is why we're gonna hit you back
with a tagged post of our own.
All right.
Hit it, Skeez.
- SCOOTER: Crustacean nation!
- Looks good.
(phone beeps)
What is it?
HPD caught a homicide in Waialua.
Steve wants us to assist.
187. Sweet.
Good luck, crime fighters.
So, CSU is up to their elbows
in this Hot Wheel we sent to 'em.
They've been going all through the car,
trying to figure out who
might have been using it
to sell dope, but all they've
found so far is cameras,
and a bunch of 'em.
Most interestingly a dash
cam recording the interior.
DANNY: All right,
well, that makes sense.
Dealer gets to see what's going on
without actually having to be there.
GROVER: Right, and speaking of that,
the CSU also found a pretty serious
radio-controlled transmitter.
Oh, that's good news. If we can
figure out the control radius,
that might help us narrow down
where this thing's being operated from.
Yeah, well, slow your roll there, Chief,
it ain't gonna be that simple.
This particular transmitter
operates on an ultra-
high-frequency radio link.
And this thing can be controlled
from as far away as 150 miles.
So the dealer could be
anywhere on the island.
JUNIOR: Yeah. Or Molokai or Kauai.
Yeah, basically, this
transmitter's a dead end.
Well, we'll keep working the car,
maybe something will come through.
- Hey, you find something?
- Yeah. We got a hit on the prints
from the bag of cash found in the car.
GROVER: So, who's this handsome fella?
ADAM: Kanoa Anakoni.
Arrested last year for drug possession
and aggravated assault.
You know, I'm thinking this
guy may need a refresher course
on the rules of his probation.
(panting)
(tires screech)
(car horn honks)
Five-O. Step back.
Hey, thanks for helping us out, Auntie.
By the way,
whatever you're cooking smells great.
- (grunts)
- Hey.
Where am I?
I didn't do nothing.
Your ribs are broken
'cause you got hit by a car
when you ran away from our
guys. You remember that?
You might not remember that
'cause you hit the
back of your head, too.
That probably doesn't feel
too good right now either.
DANNY: The IV is to help you sober up
so you can tell us about
the drugs you bought today.
No, no, no, I didn't buy no drugs.
At 10:16 you sent a text message saying,
"One 8 of C.
920 Piikoi Avenue."
That's got to be an
eight-ball of something
delivered to your home address.
Right? I'm thinking coke or crystal.
- I would think crystal, probably.
- Yeah?
I mean... you know.
Anyway, two minutes later,
you got a return text
that just said "400."
Which is the exact amount
of money we found in a bag
covered with your prints.
Now, we traced that number,
but it went to a burner.
So the good news is you're here with us,
and you can tell us, uh,
who's behind this operation.
I-I don't know.
- Oh, yeah?
- Honestly,
that number's been
floating around for a while,
and I just started using it.
- How does it work?
- I don't know.
You text it what you
want, where you're at.
A car pulls up, the window goes down,
you show your money to the camera.
You put it down, a box opens up,
you grab your stash, and that's it.
So it's like an app for junkies?
It's a good time to be alive.
All right, Kanoa,
the next call we make's
gonna be your parole officer
unless you do something for us.
What do you need?
We need you to order some drugs.
Officer Rey, Officer Liu,
mahalo for the assist.
Yeah, of course.
Duke, this is Scooter and Skeez.
Oh. (chuckles) We've already met.
They were shadowing HPD
earlier this week, no?
Ah, what up, D-Dizzle?
♪ Top-shelf collie
weed just arrive... ♪
Victim's name is
Marion Polani.
81 years old.
Her cleaning lady found her
this morning, called 911.
Building like this, they
must have security cameras.
Not inside but a bunch
outside, along the perimeter.
We're in the process
of tracking down someone
who can give us access.
♪ Make all the farmers
sow marijuana... ♪
No sign of forced entry.
Looks like she let the perp in.
Means she probably knew
the person who killed her.
Harsh.
Hey.
Well, what I can tell
you is that our Vic
was comfortable enough with her
killer to turn her back on them.
C.O.D. is blunt force trauma
to the crown of the
skull, struck from behind.
Oh, bro.
All of a sudden, K-Dog's
shrimp isn't sitting too well.
Oh, my God.
Scooter and Skeez?
- Sup?
- Sup?
I am a huge fan.
Your video on fibromyalgia,
like, so informative.
Just doing our part to raise
awareness for our fi-bros.
Oh, what are you guys doing here?
Just being schooled
on Five-O by Five-O.
(exhales) They're here in a
strictly observational capacity.
Have you determined
- a T.O.D. yet?
- Yes.
Uh, around 12:30 a.m., give or take.
That's a little late to
be entertaining guests.
Normally Skeez and I
live by the aphorism
"It's easier to ask
forgiveness than permission."
But your rules were crystal,
so... asking permish.
Would it be Gucci to
take a selfie with the Vic
in the BG?
For research purposes, of course.
He's joking. Please tell me he's joking.
You absolutely cannot
take pictures or
videos at a crime scene.
Is that clear?
- Totally get it.
- 100%. Okay.
SKEEZ: Nothing inappropriate.
- Okay.
- Just one follow-up question:
I'm on a strict "schedge" with my meds,
and I just noticed the time.
Y-You don't have to ask us
permission to take your medication.
- Really?
- Just take it.
- Right here?
- Right here.
Okay.
(whirring)
Whoa.
Your medicine is
smoking pakalolo? Really?
We're not animals. We strictly vape.
And, yes,
it's for glaucoma.
- You don't have glaucoma.
- Exactly
TANI: Put it away. Now.
LUKELA: Building manager just arrived.
- (balloon deflating)
- He can show us the security footage...
(sniffs) from last night.
Don't ask.
(balloon deflating)
BRENT: All right.
I've logged on to the security system.
Everything's backed up on the
- central server for the last week.
- _
I can access all the cameras.
- What did you want to see?
- T.O.D. was approximately 12:30,
so let's start at
11:00 and go from there.
It's a shame about Marion.
QUINN: Mr. Garis, we think Marion
was killed by somebody she knew,
which obviously includes
all of her neighbors.
Do you know if she had
issues with any other tenants?
(chuckles): Uh, yeah.
She most certainly did.
- Who?
- All of 'em.
_
Look, I don't want to
speak ill of the dead,
but Marion was an awful person
who made everyone's life a living hell.
Bury the lede much, bro?
Hey. You are free to
observe and take notes,
but keep the DVD
commentary to a minimum.
Nobody watches DVDs.
QUINN: Mr. Garis, you were saying?
Look, I can send you all the
complaints that I've gotten
about her over the years, but
you would be swimming in paper.
Suffice it to say,
there's not a single person
in this building that Marion
hasn't managed to piss off.
(playing Ping-Pong)
TANI: Hey, guys!
It's not the time for that.
SKEEZ: Our bad.
Get over here.
Just ignore them.
Easier said than done, we realize.
So, this is what the
security cameras picked up
as of 11:00 last night.
Okay. Let's roll forward from
here and see what we've got.
BRENT: So, it looks like nobody
came in or out of the building
between 11:30 last night
and 6:30 this morning.
You know what that means, right?
The people who live here
don't know how to party?
TANI: Yes, and the killer
lives in the building.
Well, 2F doesn't seem thrilled
to have to stay in all day.
Well, until we figure out
which resident is the killer,
this whole place is on lockdown.
Yes. We're all about the lockdown.
Got to keep the crime scene tight.
It's just like when
we're shooting a vid.
Got to control the location,
keep the randos from
wandering into your shot.
TANI: All right. We got 31 suspects
to interview.
It's gonna be a long lockdown.
What if I told you I could
streamline this whole process?
- Uh-huh?
- I used to live in a complex like this,
and there's always that one neighbor,
the one up in everyone's business.
Looks like you just found her.
ROSE: Of course, I tend to keep
to myself if I can help it, but
Marion was a hard one to ignore.
She...
she made an impression.
Um, fr... from what we've heard, Marion
- wasn't the most endearing person.
- _
She was the devil incarnate, dear.
And, worse, a gin rummy cheat.
- Savage.
- Savage.
Was there anyone with an especially
bad relationship with Marion?
Maybe somebody who wanted her dead?
Oh, let's see. There's Liliana
and Todd and Kawika.
Oh, and that whole debacle
with the water feature.
You know what?
I'll put on some coffee.
This may take a while.
There's a lot of names.
Lou, you good?
GROVER: Yes, sir. As
long as that tracker
in Kanoa's bag ends up in that drug car,
we can follow it to
wherever it calls home.
DANNY: Well, it's come to this.
Drugs on demand.
Y-You know, a lot of
street hustlers are gonna be
out of a job pretty soon.
I mean, there's an app
for everything these days.
Isn't there?
Used to be,
if you wanted something,
you had to actually get dressed
and leave the house, right?
Get in a car, drive to
a store, talk to a human.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I mean, you know,
less humans, better for me.
I mean, that's the only
reason I use those apps,
so I don't have to deal with people.
Human-to-human
interaction is the whole,
that's the point of life, Danny.
Why be alive if you're
not gonna do that?
Since when do you like
people? Are you social now?
- (engine approaches)
- Hey, yo.
We got movement.
Same make and model
as the hit-and-run car.
All right, this is it.
Our delivery has arrived.
(engine starts)
QUINN: So, based on our visit with Rose,
the human rumor mill, we now
have 12 suspects to prioritize.
Divide and conquer?
Okay, yes. I guess that means
we should each take one bro?
Backup? Cool.
Skeez-Dog and I can
totally be your backup.
Sure. Let's call it that.
Skeez, you're with me.
Excellent choice.
But you should know that
I already have a lady.
So we should probably keep
this relash strictly profesh.
And I instantly regret choosing you.
♪ Hello, my name is
Dr. Greenthumb... ♪
You've probably heard, Marion
Polani was murdered last night.
And you've probably heard that
she was a horrible old crone.
EMILY: The woman was a total nightmare.
Never a nice word for anyone.
Yeah. She did so many horrible things.
- Such as?
- I have a 1966 Eldorado convertible.
Marion sideswiped it in the parking lot.
And after I contacted
my insurance company
to file a claim, she filled my back seat
with kitty litter.
Used kitty litter.
♪ Hello, my name is
Dr. Greenthumb... ♪
- _
- MANDY: I'm a massage therapist.
And Marion, she hated the foot traffic
of my clients coming and going.
So because we share this wall,
she used to crank the
volume of her TV so loud,
my clients, they couldn't relax.
I've lost most of my business.
She called Child
Protective Services on me.
Said she hadn't seen my
third-grader in months,
- that I was locking him up.
- _
- ♪ Constantly grown... ♪
- He was at summer camp.
- EMILY: Todd works late most nights.
- I'm a bartender.
Doing the Lord's work, my man.
Right. But every night
when Todd would come home,
she would call me up, screaming
about how he'd woken her up
when he came in through the gate.
No one else complained.
I swear she'd sit up
just waiting for me to get back
so she had something
to raise a stink over.
Well, last night, when he came in at...
What time was it, honey?
Around 12:45?
EMILY: Right. Anyway, it
was the first time Marion
didn't complain, and,
I mean, now I get why,
of course.
12:45, you say?
TODD: Yeah. Why?
Todd, I'm gonna need to
speak to you outside, please.
What-What's going on?
Hold up, homes. So you want to
good cop/bad cop this or what?
Officer Liu.
This is Todd.
Todd just told us that he didn't
get home from work last night
until 12:45 a.m.
Well, that's interesting.
Wait, why is that interesting?
Because we know for a fact
that no one entered the
building after 11:30 p.m.,
- which means you're busted.
- So busted!
TODD: Okay, look, I should've
just come out and said it.
Every Tuesday I tell Emily
I'm working late, but I'm not.
Instead of going home, I
go to another apartment.
- A neighbor's apartment.
- Sounds scandalous, dude.
QUINN: What is it that you're doing
at your neighbor's apartment, Todd?
Please, you can't tell Emily.
TANI: This is where
you were last night?
Yeah. Playing Dungeons & Dragons.
It was a pretty epic campaign.
My mage cast an Arcane Hand spell.
My friend Reko, who lives
here, can back me up.
I headed home as soon
as we wrapped things up,
which was about a quarter to 1:00.
Well, that was right around the time
that Marion was murdered.
Did you happen to notice
if anyone was coming or going
from any of the apartments?
Uh, no.
Um, I did hear something.
- TANI: Please don't kill each other.
- Noises.
Like a weird clanking sound.
I didn't really think about it, though.
I just wanted to get home.
If Emily found out I was here...
She and Reko sort of had
a falling out last month.
It got pretty ugly.
- I'd rather not go into it.
- We'd rather you not go into it either.
So Reko confirms Todd's alibi,
but that means Emily doesn't have one.
It's like whack-a-mole.
(chuckles) Classic ref, Officer Liu.
Also, I got to say,
I thought turning bros and broettes onto
a career in law enforcement
would be a hard sell.
I mean, you guys are the ones
who bust up our house parties
and arrest us for indecent exposure.
Hoping that last one is hypothetical.
His point is, this job
is actually kinda rad.
- And, plus, unlike our boy Duke...
- (phone chimes)
you guys get to wear your own threads.
Everything okay?
Um, no.
Noelani just sent me this.
Guys, seriously?
(chuckles)
"We got our hands on the murder weapon.
"#Five-OLife.
#MurderAndMayhem."
What were the rules?
SCOOTER: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You guys said no photos or
videos of the crime scene.
That dude's apartment is
crime-scene-adjacent at best.
So, we good?
Oh, it's no imposition at all, dear.
You two go deal with your police work.
I'll take care of the boys.
SKEEZ: Harsh punishment, dude.
Who's up for a game of gin rummy?
TANI: Behave yourselves, bros.
Still a fan of Scooter and Skeez?
Why don't you just
ease back a little bit,
so KITT here doesn't make us.
KITT?
It's KITT from Knight Rider.
You don't know what Knight Rider is?
Of course I know what Knight Rider is.
I used to watch it...
I love Knight Rider.
Here we go. Here we go.
(tires screeching)
DANNY: Well, I'd say they made us.
(siren wailing)
- Lou, you seeing this?
- GROVER: Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that sure escalated quickly.
STEVE: Yeah, it did. Lou, notify HPD.
We're gonna need a roadblock.
GROVER: All right, will do.
DANNY: This car's gonna
get someone else killed.
(car horn honking)
Why? Why?
I don't want to lose KITT.
DANNY: But KITT is a
worse driver than you.
Plus, there's a tracker in the car.
STEVE: I know there's a
tracker in the car, Danny,
but what if we lose the
car and the car stops
to make another sale and the next
customer swipes the bag? Then what?
You're a catastrophist.
- A catastrophist?
- Mm-hmm.
Wow, you're really making the most
out of that "word of
the day" calendar, huh?
It means that you expect
the worst at all times.
I know what it means, but you're wrong.
I plan for the worst,
and there's a difference.
Right, and excuse me
if I trust my eyes more
than a computer chip.
- Whoa.
- (tires screeching)
And they say self-driving
cars are safer.
Wow.
That's great... that's great.
How are we supposed to get
anything off of that car now?
Says the catastrophist.
Catastrophist... How is
this a good thing, Danny?
I don't know, if we keep this up,
they're gonna run out of cars, right?
- Yo, HPD recover that car?
- Yup.
We ain't been able to get
anything off it, though.
It's weird, but when you take
a plunge off a 100-foot cliff,
all you end up with is pretty
much a self-driving pancake.
However, the first car, the
one involved in the hit-and-run,
well, they got a good
look under that hood,
and it seems that its operating system
is some proprietary software
that's owned by a company
called Tropovision Technologies.
I heard of them. They
make drones, right?
GROVER: Yeah, they do, but now
they've taken that tech and adapted it
to... cars you can control remotely.
Well, I've heard of
corporate diversification, but
seems highly unlikely that a
fancy tech company like that
- would get into delivering drugs.
- Right.
So what do we think?
Somebody stole the software?
Yeah, and we have a
pretty good idea who.
Julia Wahea.
Runs R&D at Tropovision.
She's some kind of
whiz kid, basically invented
this software herself.
- And what's the company say?
- They were unaware
of any breach when I called them,
but they've since confirmed that
an unauthorized download
of the code did occur.
All right, so-so why
do we think it's Julia?
Because they used her credentials
to log in and download it.
That's a good reason.
Let's bring her in.
QUINN: Thank you.
Anything?
Stop me if this sounds familiar.
Marion had Mr. and Mrs.
Puleha's water turned off
because she could hear Mr. Puleha
singing in the shower. You?
About the same. Marion would steal
Mr. Jonathon in 4C's pizza deliveries.
I'm starting to think
this killer's gonna get off
- on just cause.
- SCOOTER: Officer Rey!
Officer Liu! Up here!
What the hell are you doing up there?
- You're supposed to be with Rose.
- Totes true,
but there's something
you got to see up here.
L-Like, now.
QUINN: This better be good.
Oh, it is, Wonder Women.
Okay, let me set the scene.
So there we were, shredding some
gin rummy with our dawg Rose,
sipping on prune juice,
when we got to thinking,
"How did our perp slip into
our vic's apartment on the DL?"
And then it hit us, the
cams spec the ground,
but there's no eyes on the roof,
so we came up here to
investigate, and check it.
Exhibit A.
Fresh scrapes on the edge,
along with some flakes of orange paint.
And where, pray tell, did the
paint à l'orange come from?
Behold, Exhibit B.
QUINN: A ladder.
An orange ladder
and fully extendable,
long enough to make
a bridge.
TANI: Wow, slamming that thing down
from one roof to another
would explain the noise
that Todd heard when he got back.
- Makes sense.
- Do you know what this means?
Unfortunately. I think this means that
our boys just figured out how
our killer dodged the cameras.
Yeah.
- TANI: Them.
- (both grunt)
Look, I know what you guys are thinking,
but before you start thanking us
for cracking this case wide open,
let us first thank you.
Because it turns out
being a cop isn't just
about beating up bad guys
and driving real fast,
it's also about personal growth.
You can really learn
a lot about yourself.
Just like we learned
to believe in ourselves
and trust our "insties,"
which, as I mentioned earlier,
is totally how we just
cracked open this case.
Instincts, huh? Is that what it was?
Or was it that your stoke levels
were getting low, so you
came up here to get blazed?
But you didn't realize that the
door was gonna lock behind you,
so as you were trying to
figure out how to get down,
you noticed the scrape marks,
saw the ladder on the other roof,
and then you somehow
managed to put it together.
Is that what you meant by, by "insties"?
Wow, you're good.
(chuckles) You just solved the mystery
of us solving the mystery.
SCOOTER: Yeah, that's meta
crime fighting right there.
Just when she was starting to like you.
Total bums.
QUINN: All right,
despite the circumstances,
it still counts.
I am actually impressed.
What's happening to your face?
Are you about to cry? Is he crying?
- I'm sorry.
- Are you crying?
I'm just feeling super
emotional right now.
Me, too.
Come on, my dude.
Give it up.
Does he expect me to hug him?
- Just go for it.
- SCOOTER: That's right.
- Bring it in.
- QUINN: Oh.
No drug like a hug.
TANI: Wow, yeah, that
really warms my heart.
Why would I steal code from Tropovision?
I work for them.
That makes no sense.
Sensible or not, your
login and password were used
to steal that software, Julia.
JUNIOR: You know what I
think? I think you're a legit
tech genius who came up with
this amazing program, except
this company's gonna
take all your profits.
ADAM: Yeah, meanwhile,
your student loans
are still sitting there unpaid.
So, being the innovator you are,
you figured you'd innovate your
way into a little side hustle.
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, we get it.
Come on, if I'm such a genius,
then why would I be stupid enough
- to use my own login?
- (lock buzzes)
(clears throat)
Cyber decrypted the I.P. address
used to download that stolen code.
She's telling the truth, man.
It wasn't her. Take a look.
Any idea who this is?
JUNIOR: All right, come
on, Julia, seems like
you've been telling the truth
so far. Why start lying now?
That's my father.
His name's Micah Wahea.
12 years ago, I tried
to help him get clean...
but he was too far gone.
He disappeared... and I moved on.
A few months back, he turns up,
clean and sober.
Wanting to make up
for all the lost years.
I said okay.
Guess I'm not so smart after all.
GROVER: Hey, Julia... that's your father.
You love your father. Of course
you want to believe him.
It's just that, um,
sometimes what we want to believe
doesn't quite line up with what's true.
ADAM: Julia, if your dad has relapsed,
then helping us find him
would be the best thing
you could do for him.
Door.
Micah Wahea. Five-O.
Clear. No sign of Micah.
And by the looks of things,
he didn't leave willingly.
Yeah, we got a busted-in doorjamb,
overturned furniture.
And fresh blood.
Seems we're not the only ones
looking for Julia's father.
Hey.
So a BOLO's out on Micah.
I just spoke to the neighbors,
and they said they heard shouting
coming from here less than an hour ago,
so this just happened.
Check this out. At least a dozen photos
of his daughter.
And I found a schedule
for a drug recovery group
on his fridge.
I mean, he seems like a
proud, sober dad to me,
not a user taking advantage of his kid.
Maybe Julia had it wrong.
Well, except he did steal the code
for the self-driving cars.
Yeah, well, I'm thinking
whoever these dealers are,
they strong-armed him into it.
(phone ringing)
- Lou, what's up?
- GROVER: Well, Julia has hacked
directly into the CPU
of one of the drug cars,
thanks to some short cuts.
Guess it helps
when you write the code. Listen, man,
these drug dealers got
a warehouse full of these puppies.
GPS gave us the location,
and Steve's on his way.
Okay, send us the address,
we'll meet them there.
Will do, hang on.
(doors bang open)
(grunting)
I'm in.
Oh, my God. They have my dad.
AKAMU: Cops are on to us now,
so I'm only going to ask you once.
Who did you talk to?
(grunting)
- We have to do something.
- Be right back.
(Micah grunts)
Steve, they got her
old man in there, man,
and they've been working
him over pretty good.
You got to hurry.
(grunting)
AKAMU: Don't want to talk, huh?
No, no.
- (cocks gun)
- Okay.
You know what that means.
- MICAH: Please, no.
- (engine starts)
No.
- AKAMU: What the hell?
- (tires screeching)
MAN: Who's controlling it?
MAN 2: Disable the damn thing!
(bullets hitting car)
MAN 2: We got to shoot out the motor!
(screams)
(grunting)
MAN 1: I think we got it.
JULIA: The car's dead.
MAN 1: Careful, it could start up again.
(shouts)
(groaning)
Hey, buddy, you okay?
Mm-hmm.
JUNIOR: Clear.
Well done. Well done, kiddo. Well done.
This is ridiculous. I wasn't
even on the roof last night.
You were careful, I'll give you that.
CSU did not find any
prints on the ladder.
That's because I didn't use any ladder.
So what am I doing here?
Are you familiar with how
Wi-Fi works, Mr. Garis?
- Of course.
- Good. Okay.
So you know that every network
has a very specific digital signature.
Which means that it's
possible for us to figure out
who logs on at any given time.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
At 12:03 a.m. last night,
your cell phone connected
to the Wi-Fi of the building
next door, which your
company also manages.
Then, around 15 minutes later,
it connected to the Wi-Fi
of Marion's building.
At 12:48 a.m., that same sequence
of connect and disconnect happens again,
only this time in reverse.
See, that seems like enough
time for you to shuttle
back and forth across
your ladder bridge,
with a quick pit stop to kill Marion.
I want a lawyer.
That's smart.
And they're probably gonna
tell you that our Wi-Fi evidence
is circumstantial, and they'll be right.
But here's your problem:
we have you on motive, too.
Mmm. We went through Marion's e-mail.
We know that she accused you of
embezzling money from the building.
You know, when you billed
the owner for repair work
that you never performed.
Yeah, she's a crazy old lady
who accused a lot of people
- of things they didn't do.
- Except in this case, she was right.
We went through your financials, Brent.
There seem to be several large deposits
that coincide with work
that you billed your boss for...
but never completed.
You know, it's really a shame
you can't keep that money.
Could've used it for the lawyer.
SCOOTER: Ladies and gentlemen,
two legends of law enforcement, T-Bone
and Q-Money!
(air horn sound effect)
SKEEZ: We watched you at work.
You guys are like artists.
You totes nailed that douche-nozzle.
Yeah, we, like, totes harshed his mellow
- until he was, uh, mellow-less.
- Stop talking.
And, lest you forget, none
of this would've been possible
- without us.
- Really? Because
the way that I recall
it, the only contributions
you guys made was
disobeying orders, getting high,
and... (sighs)
We could not have done this without you.
You know, I wasn't kidding
about what I said earlier.
This whole experience
has been mad inspiring.
In fact, if my career
as a social media influencer
extraordinaire craps out,
yeah, I may just give
law enforcement a try.
No.
No. Listen.
As much as we would love
to have you, um, you-you
have a gift.
Yes. Yes.
And you guys contribute a, a tiny amount
- of joy to people...
- So small.
Every day. And-and
who are we to deny the world that?
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
So true.
I guess we all serve in our own way.
Plus, there's the drug testing.
- Right.
- SKEEZ: Hey.
Before we go, would you guys
do us the honor of a selfie?
- Oh. no.
- Of course.
We really appreciate that.
"Solved" on three. One, two, three.
ALL: Solved.
(indistinct chatter)
Dad.
So, uh, how's dear old Dad?
He's gonna be fine.
GROVER: Did he say
how he happened to get
- mixed up in all of this?
- Yeah, he did.
Uh, Micah came out here
about six months ago.
Wanted to reconnect with Julia,
and he made the mistake
of bragging to some
of his old buddies about what a
success his daughter had become.
And being the unscrupulous
drug dealers that they are,
they saw an opportunity.
Yeah, they told Micah
he had to get in there
and steal that tech, or they were gonna
force his daughter to give it to 'em.
ADAM: He decided to keep her
out of it, and here we are.
(both crying)
_
- (elevator bell dings)
- Wow, that is awful
and also kind of
hilarious but mostly awful.
Yeah, I'll... we'll see
what we can do about it.
- Okay. Bye.
- Awful and hilarious is my jam. Dish.
That was Kamekona.
Apparently, Scooter and Skeez
tagged the wrong shrimp
truck on their Instagram post.
- (chuckling)
- So their main competitor
is getting all the hype.
Oh, what else did you
expect from the brain trust?
Yeah, they want one of us to
call them and make it right.
- Oh, no, that's all you.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Are you kidding?
I saw the way you hugged Skeez.
I mean, you guys are practically dating.
But...
(stammering)
(others chatting indistinctly)
- Oh, hey, guys.
- Oh, hey. What's up?
STEVE: What's up? This isn't strange.
Why, why are they staring at us?
Reigns, what are you
looking at on your phone?
What are you all laughing at?
Guys, she said Reigns.
She only says Reigns
when she's really angry.
Should I be?
You might be when you
see what we're looking at.
The recruitment video.
GROVER: Oh, you damn right
it's the recruitment video,
and it is a masterpiece.
- All right, let's see it.
- JUNIOR: Let's go.
GROVER: Hell yeah.
- TANI: It's that good?
- Okay.
As officers of the
Honolulu Police Department,
we get to help people every
day and effect positive change
in our community.
Plus the pay and benefits is pretty rad.
So if that sounds baller to you,
to see how you can become
one of Honolulu's finest.
Actually, this is not as terrible
as I thought it was gonna be. It's fine.
Now let's get this
scumbag off the street
before he exposes
himself to any more nuns.
Wait, here comes the best part.
Here you go, Officers.
Five-O can take it from here.
QUINN: Wait a minute,
is that supposed to be us?
Thanks, Scooter and Skeez.
We couldn't have solved
this case without you.
What the hell?
I-I did, I did not flirt like that.
STEVE: Hold on, hold on, this could be
a good thing. What if we
get an influx of millennials
who want to join the force?
ADAM: Oh, yeah, an army
of Scooters and Skeezes
patrolling the streets,
keeping the Island safe.
God help us all.
We have eyes on a 10-80 that
committed a vehicular homicide,
heading Makai on Palolo Avenue.
OFFICER: This is
2-Bravo 727 in pursuit.
Suspect's driving erratically
and at speeds in excess of...
(car horn honks)
He just blew another stop sign.
(tires squealing, sirens wailing)
PILOT 2: 727, copy.
Please update position.
OFFICER: Suspect now turning
eastbound on Kaau Street.
Wait. Correction.
He's now turning Makai
again on Pukelele.
PILOT 1: Air support requesting backup.
We're at bingo fuel.
DISPATCHER: This is
153 Central. PIT 'em.
OFFICER: 10-4 on the PIT maneuver, 153.
(tires squealing)
All right, move in.
Driver, open the door slowly.
Exit with your hands above your head.
Get out of the car now.
Hands where we can see them.
Cover him. Driver, open the door.
(Hawaii Five-O theme song playing)
Gentlemen.
Hey.
Check it, my dudes, Five-O HQ.
It's like the Batcave up in here.
Yeah, the Christian Bale Batcave.
- Not that goofy old-school one.
- Oh, so true.
- STEVE: How you doing, guys?
- Wow.
I'm Commander Steve McGarrett. Welcome.
Oh, very cool, sir.
Anything you want to say to the fans
of Scooter and the Skeez?
Yeah, you can't film in here.
- Totes get it.
- Our bad.
- Commander.
- Yes.
Your reputation precedes you.
You are, like, a legit
legend around here.
The knowledge we soak up
from shadowing you today
will for sure level up
our recruitment video.
Well, I really appreciate that, guys.
Thank you very much. Unfortunately,
uh, I can't shadow with you guys today.
You will be with my colleagues,
- Officer Tani Rey...
- Hello.
And Quinn Liu.
I think you'll find they're
both very knowledgeable,
very professional, and
very patient, right, guys?
- Mm-hmm. Yes.
- SCOOTER: Oh, legit.
So, I'm gonna leave you guys.
Have a great day. I'll
see you later. All right?
(quietly): Okay, well, you're
the millennial whisperer.
Lead the way.
Okay. Scooter and Skeez,
the governor hired you to
make a recruitment video
for the HPD, and apparently
we're at your disposal today.
So, do you have any
questions before we start?
- I got one.
- Okay.
We kind of overslept, haven't
gotten our nosh on yet.
Do you guys know any good
brunch spots around here?
Millennial whisperer?
TANI: All right, then, let's go
munch on some grindage.
SCOOTER: Sweet.
♪ ♪
(indistinct radio transmission)
So, go ahead, make my morning.
I'll do my best.
Officers surveilling a
high-traffic narcotics area
in Kalihi spotted a suspicious vehicle.
When they tried to pull
it over, it took off,
blowing through an intersection
and killing a pedestrian.
Patricia Martin, local teacher.
Duke's handling the notification.
Is the driver in custody?
Yeah, about that.
So no one's driving.
What is this, the robot apocalypse?
Well, actually, autonomous vehicles have
a fail-safe in place so they
can be controlled remotely.
It's called teleoperations.
We think that's how this
car was being steered.
Yeah, I know about
it, but that technology
is not street legal.
So what's the car doing on
the road in the first place?
Nah, the plates are fake
and the VIN's been filed off.
And whoever sent it out into the wild
was smart enough not to
leave any prints on it.
Yeah, then I found this
in a box on the front seat
with 400 bucks inside.
Aha. Okay.
So you got a remote-controlled car
that goes through a
high-traffic drug area.
Comes out with $400.
Can you connect the dots?
Yeah, I mean, it looks to me like
some tech-savvy drug
dealers have found a way
to mitigate the risk of their
own guys ratting on them.
Smart. I get it.
Except now someone's dead,
and now they're on the hook
for a lot more than drug trafficking.
Yeah. The question is,
who's behind the controls?
(singers vocalizing)
♪ ♪
Whoa.
Sorry about before,
filming inside your office.
It's just that we constantly
got to feed the beast.
The beast?
I think they mean YouTube.
Our fans' demand for content is insane.
You slow down for a
second, you get trampled
by whoever's coming up behind you.
- Sounds stressful.
- SKEEZ: Mad stressful.
I barely got eight last night.
Insomnia is a silent killer.
Look, it may not seem like it,
but we take our work seriously.
62% retention among teens with
four-second attention spans
is straight fire.
We may look like a
couple of dumb kids...
Never crossed my mind.
But it takes effort to
look this effortless.
Take this recruitment video for example.
Say it sucks. Then we lose eyeballs,
which means we lose dollars
and then let down your governor.
And you... maybe you lose
the next great young recruit.
And maybe the police force suffers.
And maybe people get hurt.
I mean, I don't want to say
we're saving lives out here, but...
SCOOTER: Yeah.
Bet you hadn't thought about it
that way before.
- Nope.
- You are right.
We have never thought about it that way.
FLIPPA: Next.
Flippa. Hello.
We have guests dining with us today.
Of course. We heard you
guys were on your way over.
Cuz already has you all set up.
Oh.
Oh, wow, look at this.
Fresh grindz for our VIPs.
Thank you.
- Not for you. Scooter and Skeet.
- (slurping)
- "Skeez."
- Yeah, right.
Big fan. Longtime follower, brah.
Really, Kamekona? How long?
Long enough to know they got
the beaucoup followers on Instagram.
By the way, that reminds me,
lunch is on the house today.
Awesome.
As long as I get a
selfie with both of you
- to post on my Insta.
- Oh, see that?
Big man knows what's up.
Eyeballs are currency.
Which is why we're gonna hit you back
with a tagged post of our own.
All right.
Hit it, Skeez.
- SCOOTER: Crustacean nation!
- Looks good.
(phone beeps)
What is it?
HPD caught a homicide in Waialua.
Steve wants us to assist.
187. Sweet.
Good luck, crime fighters.
So, CSU is up to their elbows
in this Hot Wheel we sent to 'em.
They've been going all through the car,
trying to figure out who
might have been using it
to sell dope, but all they've
found so far is cameras,
and a bunch of 'em.
Most interestingly a dash
cam recording the interior.
DANNY: All right,
well, that makes sense.
Dealer gets to see what's going on
without actually having to be there.
GROVER: Right, and speaking of that,
the CSU also found a pretty serious
radio-controlled transmitter.
Oh, that's good news. If we can
figure out the control radius,
that might help us narrow down
where this thing's being operated from.
Yeah, well, slow your roll there, Chief,
it ain't gonna be that simple.
This particular transmitter
operates on an ultra-
high-frequency radio link.
And this thing can be controlled
from as far away as 150 miles.
So the dealer could be
anywhere on the island.
JUNIOR: Yeah. Or Molokai or Kauai.
Yeah, basically, this
transmitter's a dead end.
Well, we'll keep working the car,
maybe something will come through.
- Hey, you find something?
- Yeah. We got a hit on the prints
from the bag of cash found in the car.
GROVER: So, who's this handsome fella?
ADAM: Kanoa Anakoni.
Arrested last year for drug possession
and aggravated assault.
You know, I'm thinking this
guy may need a refresher course
on the rules of his probation.
(panting)
(tires screech)
(car horn honks)
Five-O. Step back.
Hey, thanks for helping us out, Auntie.
By the way,
whatever you're cooking smells great.
- (grunts)
- Hey.
Where am I?
I didn't do nothing.
Your ribs are broken
'cause you got hit by a car
when you ran away from our
guys. You remember that?
You might not remember that
'cause you hit the
back of your head, too.
That probably doesn't feel
too good right now either.
DANNY: The IV is to help you sober up
so you can tell us about
the drugs you bought today.
No, no, no, I didn't buy no drugs.
At 10:16 you sent a text message saying,
"One 8 of C.
920 Piikoi Avenue."
That's got to be an
eight-ball of something
delivered to your home address.
Right? I'm thinking coke or crystal.
- I would think crystal, probably.
- Yeah?
I mean... you know.
Anyway, two minutes later,
you got a return text
that just said "400."
Which is the exact amount
of money we found in a bag
covered with your prints.
Now, we traced that number,
but it went to a burner.
So the good news is you're here with us,
and you can tell us, uh,
who's behind this operation.
I-I don't know.
- Oh, yeah?
- Honestly,
that number's been
floating around for a while,
and I just started using it.
- How does it work?
- I don't know.
You text it what you
want, where you're at.
A car pulls up, the window goes down,
you show your money to the camera.
You put it down, a box opens up,
you grab your stash, and that's it.
So it's like an app for junkies?
It's a good time to be alive.
All right, Kanoa,
the next call we make's
gonna be your parole officer
unless you do something for us.
What do you need?
We need you to order some drugs.
Officer Rey, Officer Liu,
mahalo for the assist.
Yeah, of course.
Duke, this is Scooter and Skeez.
Oh. (chuckles) We've already met.
They were shadowing HPD
earlier this week, no?
Ah, what up, D-Dizzle?
♪ Top-shelf collie
weed just arrive... ♪
Victim's name is
Marion Polani.
81 years old.
Her cleaning lady found her
this morning, called 911.
Building like this, they
must have security cameras.
Not inside but a bunch
outside, along the perimeter.
We're in the process
of tracking down someone
who can give us access.
♪ Make all the farmers
sow marijuana... ♪
No sign of forced entry.
Looks like she let the perp in.
Means she probably knew
the person who killed her.
Harsh.
Hey.
Well, what I can tell
you is that our Vic
was comfortable enough with her
killer to turn her back on them.
C.O.D. is blunt force trauma
to the crown of the
skull, struck from behind.
Oh, bro.
All of a sudden, K-Dog's
shrimp isn't sitting too well.
Oh, my God.
Scooter and Skeez?
- Sup?
- Sup?
I am a huge fan.
Your video on fibromyalgia,
like, so informative.
Just doing our part to raise
awareness for our fi-bros.
Oh, what are you guys doing here?
Just being schooled
on Five-O by Five-O.
(exhales) They're here in a
strictly observational capacity.
Have you determined
- a T.O.D. yet?
- Yes.
Uh, around 12:30 a.m., give or take.
That's a little late to
be entertaining guests.
Normally Skeez and I
live by the aphorism
"It's easier to ask
forgiveness than permission."
But your rules were crystal,
so... asking permish.
Would it be Gucci to
take a selfie with the Vic
in the BG?
For research purposes, of course.
He's joking. Please tell me he's joking.
You absolutely cannot
take pictures or
videos at a crime scene.
Is that clear?
- Totally get it.
- 100%. Okay.
SKEEZ: Nothing inappropriate.
- Okay.
- Just one follow-up question:
I'm on a strict "schedge" with my meds,
and I just noticed the time.
Y-You don't have to ask us
permission to take your medication.
- Really?
- Just take it.
- Right here?
- Right here.
Okay.
(whirring)
Whoa.
Your medicine is
smoking pakalolo? Really?
We're not animals. We strictly vape.
And, yes,
it's for glaucoma.
- You don't have glaucoma.
- Exactly
TANI: Put it away. Now.
LUKELA: Building manager just arrived.
- (balloon deflating)
- He can show us the security footage...
(sniffs) from last night.
Don't ask.
(balloon deflating)
BRENT: All right.
I've logged on to the security system.
Everything's backed up on the
- central server for the last week.
- _
I can access all the cameras.
- What did you want to see?
- T.O.D. was approximately 12:30,
so let's start at
11:00 and go from there.
It's a shame about Marion.
QUINN: Mr. Garis, we think Marion
was killed by somebody she knew,
which obviously includes
all of her neighbors.
Do you know if she had
issues with any other tenants?
(chuckles): Uh, yeah.
She most certainly did.
- Who?
- All of 'em.
_
Look, I don't want to
speak ill of the dead,
but Marion was an awful person
who made everyone's life a living hell.
Bury the lede much, bro?
Hey. You are free to
observe and take notes,
but keep the DVD
commentary to a minimum.
Nobody watches DVDs.
QUINN: Mr. Garis, you were saying?
Look, I can send you all the
complaints that I've gotten
about her over the years, but
you would be swimming in paper.
Suffice it to say,
there's not a single person
in this building that Marion
hasn't managed to piss off.
(playing Ping-Pong)
TANI: Hey, guys!
It's not the time for that.
SKEEZ: Our bad.
Get over here.
Just ignore them.
Easier said than done, we realize.
So, this is what the
security cameras picked up
as of 11:00 last night.
Okay. Let's roll forward from
here and see what we've got.
BRENT: So, it looks like nobody
came in or out of the building
between 11:30 last night
and 6:30 this morning.
You know what that means, right?
The people who live here
don't know how to party?
TANI: Yes, and the killer
lives in the building.
Well, 2F doesn't seem thrilled
to have to stay in all day.
Well, until we figure out
which resident is the killer,
this whole place is on lockdown.
Yes. We're all about the lockdown.
Got to keep the crime scene tight.
It's just like when
we're shooting a vid.
Got to control the location,
keep the randos from
wandering into your shot.
TANI: All right. We got 31 suspects
to interview.
It's gonna be a long lockdown.
What if I told you I could
streamline this whole process?
- Uh-huh?
- I used to live in a complex like this,
and there's always that one neighbor,
the one up in everyone's business.
Looks like you just found her.
ROSE: Of course, I tend to keep
to myself if I can help it, but
Marion was a hard one to ignore.
She...
she made an impression.
Um, fr... from what we've heard, Marion
- wasn't the most endearing person.
- _
She was the devil incarnate, dear.
And, worse, a gin rummy cheat.
- Savage.
- Savage.
Was there anyone with an especially
bad relationship with Marion?
Maybe somebody who wanted her dead?
Oh, let's see. There's Liliana
and Todd and Kawika.
Oh, and that whole debacle
with the water feature.
You know what?
I'll put on some coffee.
This may take a while.
There's a lot of names.
Lou, you good?
GROVER: Yes, sir. As
long as that tracker
in Kanoa's bag ends up in that drug car,
we can follow it to
wherever it calls home.
DANNY: Well, it's come to this.
Drugs on demand.
Y-You know, a lot of
street hustlers are gonna be
out of a job pretty soon.
I mean, there's an app
for everything these days.
Isn't there?
Used to be,
if you wanted something,
you had to actually get dressed
and leave the house, right?
Get in a car, drive to
a store, talk to a human.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I mean, you know,
less humans, better for me.
I mean, that's the only
reason I use those apps,
so I don't have to deal with people.
Human-to-human
interaction is the whole,
that's the point of life, Danny.
Why be alive if you're
not gonna do that?
Since when do you like
people? Are you social now?
- (engine approaches)
- Hey, yo.
We got movement.
Same make and model
as the hit-and-run car.
All right, this is it.
Our delivery has arrived.
(engine starts)
QUINN: So, based on our visit with Rose,
the human rumor mill, we now
have 12 suspects to prioritize.
Divide and conquer?
Okay, yes. I guess that means
we should each take one bro?
Backup? Cool.
Skeez-Dog and I can
totally be your backup.
Sure. Let's call it that.
Skeez, you're with me.
Excellent choice.
But you should know that
I already have a lady.
So we should probably keep
this relash strictly profesh.
And I instantly regret choosing you.
♪ Hello, my name is
Dr. Greenthumb... ♪
You've probably heard, Marion
Polani was murdered last night.
And you've probably heard that
she was a horrible old crone.
EMILY: The woman was a total nightmare.
Never a nice word for anyone.
Yeah. She did so many horrible things.
- Such as?
- I have a 1966 Eldorado convertible.
Marion sideswiped it in the parking lot.
And after I contacted
my insurance company
to file a claim, she filled my back seat
with kitty litter.
Used kitty litter.
♪ Hello, my name is
Dr. Greenthumb... ♪
- _
- MANDY: I'm a massage therapist.
And Marion, she hated the foot traffic
of my clients coming and going.
So because we share this wall,
she used to crank the
volume of her TV so loud,
my clients, they couldn't relax.
I've lost most of my business.
She called Child
Protective Services on me.
Said she hadn't seen my
third-grader in months,
- that I was locking him up.
- _
- ♪ Constantly grown... ♪
- He was at summer camp.
- EMILY: Todd works late most nights.
- I'm a bartender.
Doing the Lord's work, my man.
Right. But every night
when Todd would come home,
she would call me up, screaming
about how he'd woken her up
when he came in through the gate.
No one else complained.
I swear she'd sit up
just waiting for me to get back
so she had something
to raise a stink over.
Well, last night, when he came in at...
What time was it, honey?
Around 12:45?
EMILY: Right. Anyway, it
was the first time Marion
didn't complain, and,
I mean, now I get why,
of course.
12:45, you say?
TODD: Yeah. Why?
Todd, I'm gonna need to
speak to you outside, please.
What-What's going on?
Hold up, homes. So you want to
good cop/bad cop this or what?
Officer Liu.
This is Todd.
Todd just told us that he didn't
get home from work last night
until 12:45 a.m.
Well, that's interesting.
Wait, why is that interesting?
Because we know for a fact
that no one entered the
building after 11:30 p.m.,
- which means you're busted.
- So busted!
TODD: Okay, look, I should've
just come out and said it.
Every Tuesday I tell Emily
I'm working late, but I'm not.
Instead of going home, I
go to another apartment.
- A neighbor's apartment.
- Sounds scandalous, dude.
QUINN: What is it that you're doing
at your neighbor's apartment, Todd?
Please, you can't tell Emily.
TANI: This is where
you were last night?
Yeah. Playing Dungeons & Dragons.
It was a pretty epic campaign.
My mage cast an Arcane Hand spell.
My friend Reko, who lives
here, can back me up.
I headed home as soon
as we wrapped things up,
which was about a quarter to 1:00.
Well, that was right around the time
that Marion was murdered.
Did you happen to notice
if anyone was coming or going
from any of the apartments?
Uh, no.
Um, I did hear something.
- TANI: Please don't kill each other.
- Noises.
Like a weird clanking sound.
I didn't really think about it, though.
I just wanted to get home.
If Emily found out I was here...
She and Reko sort of had
a falling out last month.
It got pretty ugly.
- I'd rather not go into it.
- We'd rather you not go into it either.
So Reko confirms Todd's alibi,
but that means Emily doesn't have one.
It's like whack-a-mole.
(chuckles) Classic ref, Officer Liu.
Also, I got to say,
I thought turning bros and broettes onto
a career in law enforcement
would be a hard sell.
I mean, you guys are the ones
who bust up our house parties
and arrest us for indecent exposure.
Hoping that last one is hypothetical.
His point is, this job
is actually kinda rad.
- And, plus, unlike our boy Duke...
- (phone chimes)
you guys get to wear your own threads.
Everything okay?
Um, no.
Noelani just sent me this.
Guys, seriously?
(chuckles)
"We got our hands on the murder weapon.
"#Five-OLife.
#MurderAndMayhem."
What were the rules?
SCOOTER: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You guys said no photos or
videos of the crime scene.
That dude's apartment is
crime-scene-adjacent at best.
So, we good?
Oh, it's no imposition at all, dear.
You two go deal with your police work.
I'll take care of the boys.
SKEEZ: Harsh punishment, dude.
Who's up for a game of gin rummy?
TANI: Behave yourselves, bros.
Still a fan of Scooter and Skeez?
Why don't you just
ease back a little bit,
so KITT here doesn't make us.
KITT?
It's KITT from Knight Rider.
You don't know what Knight Rider is?
Of course I know what Knight Rider is.
I used to watch it...
I love Knight Rider.
Here we go. Here we go.
(tires screeching)
DANNY: Well, I'd say they made us.
(siren wailing)
- Lou, you seeing this?
- GROVER: Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that sure escalated quickly.
STEVE: Yeah, it did. Lou, notify HPD.
We're gonna need a roadblock.
GROVER: All right, will do.
DANNY: This car's gonna
get someone else killed.
(car horn honking)
Why? Why?
I don't want to lose KITT.
DANNY: But KITT is a
worse driver than you.
Plus, there's a tracker in the car.
STEVE: I know there's a
tracker in the car, Danny,
but what if we lose the
car and the car stops
to make another sale and the next
customer swipes the bag? Then what?
You're a catastrophist.
- A catastrophist?
- Mm-hmm.
Wow, you're really making the most
out of that "word of
the day" calendar, huh?
It means that you expect
the worst at all times.
I know what it means, but you're wrong.
I plan for the worst,
and there's a difference.
Right, and excuse me
if I trust my eyes more
than a computer chip.
- Whoa.
- (tires screeching)
And they say self-driving
cars are safer.
Wow.
That's great... that's great.
How are we supposed to get
anything off of that car now?
Says the catastrophist.
Catastrophist... How is
this a good thing, Danny?
I don't know, if we keep this up,
they're gonna run out of cars, right?
- Yo, HPD recover that car?
- Yup.
We ain't been able to get
anything off it, though.
It's weird, but when you take
a plunge off a 100-foot cliff,
all you end up with is pretty
much a self-driving pancake.
However, the first car, the
one involved in the hit-and-run,
well, they got a good
look under that hood,
and it seems that its operating system
is some proprietary software
that's owned by a company
called Tropovision Technologies.
I heard of them. They
make drones, right?
GROVER: Yeah, they do, but now
they've taken that tech and adapted it
to... cars you can control remotely.
Well, I've heard of
corporate diversification, but
seems highly unlikely that a
fancy tech company like that
- would get into delivering drugs.
- Right.
So what do we think?
Somebody stole the software?
Yeah, and we have a
pretty good idea who.
Julia Wahea.
Runs R&D at Tropovision.
She's some kind of
whiz kid, basically invented
this software herself.
- And what's the company say?
- They were unaware
of any breach when I called them,
but they've since confirmed that
an unauthorized download
of the code did occur.
All right, so-so why
do we think it's Julia?
Because they used her credentials
to log in and download it.
That's a good reason.
Let's bring her in.
QUINN: Thank you.
Anything?
Stop me if this sounds familiar.
Marion had Mr. and Mrs.
Puleha's water turned off
because she could hear Mr. Puleha
singing in the shower. You?
About the same. Marion would steal
Mr. Jonathon in 4C's pizza deliveries.
I'm starting to think
this killer's gonna get off
- on just cause.
- SCOOTER: Officer Rey!
Officer Liu! Up here!
What the hell are you doing up there?
- You're supposed to be with Rose.
- Totes true,
but there's something
you got to see up here.
L-Like, now.
QUINN: This better be good.
Oh, it is, Wonder Women.
Okay, let me set the scene.
So there we were, shredding some
gin rummy with our dawg Rose,
sipping on prune juice,
when we got to thinking,
"How did our perp slip into
our vic's apartment on the DL?"
And then it hit us, the
cams spec the ground,
but there's no eyes on the roof,
so we came up here to
investigate, and check it.
Exhibit A.
Fresh scrapes on the edge,
along with some flakes of orange paint.
And where, pray tell, did the
paint à l'orange come from?
Behold, Exhibit B.
QUINN: A ladder.
An orange ladder
and fully extendable,
long enough to make
a bridge.
TANI: Wow, slamming that thing down
from one roof to another
would explain the noise
that Todd heard when he got back.
- Makes sense.
- Do you know what this means?
Unfortunately. I think this means that
our boys just figured out how
our killer dodged the cameras.
Yeah.
- TANI: Them.
- (both grunt)
Look, I know what you guys are thinking,
but before you start thanking us
for cracking this case wide open,
let us first thank you.
Because it turns out
being a cop isn't just
about beating up bad guys
and driving real fast,
it's also about personal growth.
You can really learn
a lot about yourself.
Just like we learned
to believe in ourselves
and trust our "insties,"
which, as I mentioned earlier,
is totally how we just
cracked open this case.
Instincts, huh? Is that what it was?
Or was it that your stoke levels
were getting low, so you
came up here to get blazed?
But you didn't realize that the
door was gonna lock behind you,
so as you were trying to
figure out how to get down,
you noticed the scrape marks,
saw the ladder on the other roof,
and then you somehow
managed to put it together.
Is that what you meant by, by "insties"?
Wow, you're good.
(chuckles) You just solved the mystery
of us solving the mystery.
SCOOTER: Yeah, that's meta
crime fighting right there.
Just when she was starting to like you.
Total bums.
QUINN: All right,
despite the circumstances,
it still counts.
I am actually impressed.
What's happening to your face?
Are you about to cry? Is he crying?
- I'm sorry.
- Are you crying?
I'm just feeling super
emotional right now.
Me, too.
Come on, my dude.
Give it up.
Does he expect me to hug him?
- Just go for it.
- SCOOTER: That's right.
- Bring it in.
- QUINN: Oh.
No drug like a hug.
TANI: Wow, yeah, that
really warms my heart.
Why would I steal code from Tropovision?
I work for them.
That makes no sense.
Sensible or not, your
login and password were used
to steal that software, Julia.
JUNIOR: You know what I
think? I think you're a legit
tech genius who came up with
this amazing program, except
this company's gonna
take all your profits.
ADAM: Yeah, meanwhile,
your student loans
are still sitting there unpaid.
So, being the innovator you are,
you figured you'd innovate your
way into a little side hustle.
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, we get it.
Come on, if I'm such a genius,
then why would I be stupid enough
- to use my own login?
- (lock buzzes)
(clears throat)
Cyber decrypted the I.P. address
used to download that stolen code.
She's telling the truth, man.
It wasn't her. Take a look.
Any idea who this is?
JUNIOR: All right, come
on, Julia, seems like
you've been telling the truth
so far. Why start lying now?
That's my father.
His name's Micah Wahea.
12 years ago, I tried
to help him get clean...
but he was too far gone.
He disappeared... and I moved on.
A few months back, he turns up,
clean and sober.
Wanting to make up
for all the lost years.
I said okay.
Guess I'm not so smart after all.
GROVER: Hey, Julia... that's your father.
You love your father. Of course
you want to believe him.
It's just that, um,
sometimes what we want to believe
doesn't quite line up with what's true.
ADAM: Julia, if your dad has relapsed,
then helping us find him
would be the best thing
you could do for him.
Door.
Micah Wahea. Five-O.
Clear. No sign of Micah.
And by the looks of things,
he didn't leave willingly.
Yeah, we got a busted-in doorjamb,
overturned furniture.
And fresh blood.
Seems we're not the only ones
looking for Julia's father.
Hey.
So a BOLO's out on Micah.
I just spoke to the neighbors,
and they said they heard shouting
coming from here less than an hour ago,
so this just happened.
Check this out. At least a dozen photos
of his daughter.
And I found a schedule
for a drug recovery group
on his fridge.
I mean, he seems like a
proud, sober dad to me,
not a user taking advantage of his kid.
Maybe Julia had it wrong.
Well, except he did steal the code
for the self-driving cars.
Yeah, well, I'm thinking
whoever these dealers are,
they strong-armed him into it.
(phone ringing)
- Lou, what's up?
- GROVER: Well, Julia has hacked
directly into the CPU
of one of the drug cars,
thanks to some short cuts.
Guess it helps
when you write the code. Listen, man,
these drug dealers got
a warehouse full of these puppies.
GPS gave us the location,
and Steve's on his way.
Okay, send us the address,
we'll meet them there.
Will do, hang on.
(doors bang open)
(grunting)
I'm in.
Oh, my God. They have my dad.
AKAMU: Cops are on to us now,
so I'm only going to ask you once.
Who did you talk to?
(grunting)
- We have to do something.
- Be right back.
(Micah grunts)
Steve, they got her
old man in there, man,
and they've been working
him over pretty good.
You got to hurry.
(grunting)
AKAMU: Don't want to talk, huh?
No, no.
- (cocks gun)
- Okay.
You know what that means.
- MICAH: Please, no.
- (engine starts)
No.
- AKAMU: What the hell?
- (tires screeching)
MAN: Who's controlling it?
MAN 2: Disable the damn thing!
(bullets hitting car)
MAN 2: We got to shoot out the motor!
(screams)
(grunting)
MAN 1: I think we got it.
JULIA: The car's dead.
MAN 1: Careful, it could start up again.
(shouts)
(groaning)
Hey, buddy, you okay?
Mm-hmm.
JUNIOR: Clear.
Well done. Well done, kiddo. Well done.
This is ridiculous. I wasn't
even on the roof last night.
You were careful, I'll give you that.
CSU did not find any
prints on the ladder.
That's because I didn't use any ladder.
So what am I doing here?
Are you familiar with how
Wi-Fi works, Mr. Garis?
- Of course.
- Good. Okay.
So you know that every network
has a very specific digital signature.
Which means that it's
possible for us to figure out
who logs on at any given time.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
At 12:03 a.m. last night,
your cell phone connected
to the Wi-Fi of the building
next door, which your
company also manages.
Then, around 15 minutes later,
it connected to the Wi-Fi
of Marion's building.
At 12:48 a.m., that same sequence
of connect and disconnect happens again,
only this time in reverse.
See, that seems like enough
time for you to shuttle
back and forth across
your ladder bridge,
with a quick pit stop to kill Marion.
I want a lawyer.
That's smart.
And they're probably gonna
tell you that our Wi-Fi evidence
is circumstantial, and they'll be right.
But here's your problem:
we have you on motive, too.
Mmm. We went through Marion's e-mail.
We know that she accused you of
embezzling money from the building.
You know, when you billed
the owner for repair work
that you never performed.
Yeah, she's a crazy old lady
who accused a lot of people
- of things they didn't do.
- Except in this case, she was right.
We went through your financials, Brent.
There seem to be several large deposits
that coincide with work
that you billed your boss for...
but never completed.
You know, it's really a shame
you can't keep that money.
Could've used it for the lawyer.
SCOOTER: Ladies and gentlemen,
two legends of law enforcement, T-Bone
and Q-Money!
(air horn sound effect)
SKEEZ: We watched you at work.
You guys are like artists.
You totes nailed that douche-nozzle.
Yeah, we, like, totes harshed his mellow
- until he was, uh, mellow-less.
- Stop talking.
And, lest you forget, none
of this would've been possible
- without us.
- Really? Because
the way that I recall
it, the only contributions
you guys made was
disobeying orders, getting high,
and... (sighs)
We could not have done this without you.
You know, I wasn't kidding
about what I said earlier.
This whole experience
has been mad inspiring.
In fact, if my career
as a social media influencer
extraordinaire craps out,
yeah, I may just give
law enforcement a try.
No.
No. Listen.
As much as we would love
to have you, um, you-you
have a gift.
Yes. Yes.
And you guys contribute a, a tiny amount
- of joy to people...
- So small.
Every day. And-and
who are we to deny the world that?
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
So true.
I guess we all serve in our own way.
Plus, there's the drug testing.
- Right.
- SKEEZ: Hey.
Before we go, would you guys
do us the honor of a selfie?
- Oh. no.
- Of course.
We really appreciate that.
"Solved" on three. One, two, three.
ALL: Solved.
(indistinct chatter)
Dad.
So, uh, how's dear old Dad?
He's gonna be fine.
GROVER: Did he say
how he happened to get
- mixed up in all of this?
- Yeah, he did.
Uh, Micah came out here
about six months ago.
Wanted to reconnect with Julia,
and he made the mistake
of bragging to some
of his old buddies about what a
success his daughter had become.
And being the unscrupulous
drug dealers that they are,
they saw an opportunity.
Yeah, they told Micah
he had to get in there
and steal that tech, or they were gonna
force his daughter to give it to 'em.
ADAM: He decided to keep her
out of it, and here we are.
(both crying)
_
- (elevator bell dings)
- Wow, that is awful
and also kind of
hilarious but mostly awful.
Yeah, I'll... we'll see
what we can do about it.
- Okay. Bye.
- Awful and hilarious is my jam. Dish.
That was Kamekona.
Apparently, Scooter and Skeez
tagged the wrong shrimp
truck on their Instagram post.
- (chuckling)
- So their main competitor
is getting all the hype.
Oh, what else did you
expect from the brain trust?
Yeah, they want one of us to
call them and make it right.
- Oh, no, that's all you.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Are you kidding?
I saw the way you hugged Skeez.
I mean, you guys are practically dating.
But...
(stammering)
(others chatting indistinctly)
- Oh, hey, guys.
- Oh, hey. What's up?
STEVE: What's up? This isn't strange.
Why, why are they staring at us?
Reigns, what are you
looking at on your phone?
What are you all laughing at?
Guys, she said Reigns.
She only says Reigns
when she's really angry.
Should I be?
You might be when you
see what we're looking at.
The recruitment video.
GROVER: Oh, you damn right
it's the recruitment video,
and it is a masterpiece.
- All right, let's see it.
- JUNIOR: Let's go.
GROVER: Hell yeah.
- TANI: It's that good?
- Okay.
As officers of the
Honolulu Police Department,
we get to help people every
day and effect positive change
in our community.
Plus the pay and benefits is pretty rad.
So if that sounds baller to you,
to see how you can become
one of Honolulu's finest.
Actually, this is not as terrible
as I thought it was gonna be. It's fine.
Now let's get this
scumbag off the street
before he exposes
himself to any more nuns.
Wait, here comes the best part.
Here you go, Officers.
Five-O can take it from here.
QUINN: Wait a minute,
is that supposed to be us?
Thanks, Scooter and Skeez.
We couldn't have solved
this case without you.
What the hell?
I-I did, I did not flirt like that.
STEVE: Hold on, hold on, this could be
a good thing. What if we
get an influx of millennials
who want to join the force?
ADAM: Oh, yeah, an army
of Scooters and Skeezes
patrolling the streets,
keeping the Island safe.
God help us all.