Have Gun - Will Travel (1957–1963): Season 3, Episode 36 - The Campaign of Billy Banjo - full transcript
Billy Banjo Jones is running for state senate, supported by his rich and domineering wife, Elise. But he hires Paladin to give protection to his opponent, Jansen, because he fears that Elise may do murder to ensure his successful election.
[KNOCKING]
COME IN.
[DOOR OPENS]
HEY BOY.
MR. PALADIN.
NOBODY KNOW WHAT IT
MEANS. NOT EVEN MAILMAN.
[PALADIN] TURN IT OVER.
BANJO?
A BANJO. OF COURSE.
PACK THE BAGS, HEY BOY.
[MAN] LET HIM HAVE IT.
♪♪ [BANJO]
THAT'S ALL.
♪♪ [BANJO CONTINUES]
[LAUGHING]
YEE-HOO!
♪♪ [ENDS]
COME ON.
COME ON.
[MAN] GIVE ME THE GUN.
I'M SORRY.
DON'T BE SORRY.
GIVE ME THE GUN OR TURN
AROUND AND RIDE ON OUT.
I CAN'T DO THAT, SHERIFF. I
JUST ARRIVED HERE ON BUSINESS.
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I'M AFRAID OF.
WE GOT AN ELECTION GOING ON HERE
I'M TRYING TO KEEP
FROM TURNING INTO A WAR.
THAT IS NO WAY TO BRING
ABOUT DISARMAMENT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE
LIKE THAT. YOU'LL BE SAFE.
I'LL GIVE IT BACK TO YOU RIGHT
AFTER THE VOTES ARE COUNTED.
TAKE IT.
I'LL WANT IT BACK
IN GOOD CONDITION.
YEAH. RIGHT AFTER THE SHOW.
[MAN] CRAZY GRASSHOPPERS
IS JUST FLYIN' HIGH!
FLYIN' HIGH, DOIN' NOTHING!
BUT YOU KNOW THAT YOU
CAN'T CATCH A GRASSHOPPER,
BUT YOU JUST STEP ON AN ANT.
THERE'S THE MORAL TO THAT STORY.
[MEN LAUGHING]
[MAN] YEE-HOO!
YEE-HOO!
[MEN LAUGHING]
YA-YA-HOO!
YEE-HOO!
[YELLS]
I WANNA TELL YOU
ABOUT THE MEXICAN WAR.
THE MEXICAN WAR.
[MAN] YEE-HOO!
I HAVE FOUGHT AND I
HAVE BLED AND I HAVE...
[WOMAN] THAT A BOY, BILLY!
YOU ABOUT TO SAY YOU'D
DIED FOR YOUR COUNTRY?
PALADIN!
IT'S HIM, HONEY. MEET THE WIFE.
HI, HONEY. HOW DO YOU DO?
END OF SPEECH.
THAT'S ALL THERE IS.
NO! NO, NO, NO!
COME ON! MORE!
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
HIM AND ME. IT'S A CLASS
REUNION. TOP AND BOTTOM.
BUSTER, TAKE OVER. SHAKE
UP THE PIANO. COME ON.
COME ON.
BILLY, I GATHER YOU'RE
RUNNING FOR SENATOR,
BUT DO YOU EXPECT TO WIN
WITH SPEECHES LIKE THAT?
HE CHARMS THE COWHANDS
RIGHT OUT OF THEIR BOOTS.
HE'LL HAVE TO TO
WIN ANY ELECTION.
HA! SOME FRIEND YOU ARE. ROLLS.
PALADIN, I GOT TIRED OF
BEING A SLOB, YOU KNOW.
IT GOT HARD TO STAY LAZY AND
OUT OF WORK. IT'S A LOST ART.
YOU COULD THROW A ROCK ANYWHERE
IN THE COUNTRY AND HIT SOMEBODY
THAT'D MAKE A GOOD
MOTHER OR A FINE PRESIDENT.
JAM. [COUGHS]
ANYWAYS, IT'S NOT
ME THAT'S AMBITIOUS.
IT'S ELISE.
WELL, I'M CERTAINLY
RELIEVED TO HEAR THAT.
BY THE WAY, IS THERE
ANOTHER CANDIDATE?
MARTIN JANSEN. WE'LL
BURY HIM AND HIS MINERS.
HONEY, LISTEN, YOU CAN'T PUSH...
YOU SAY JANSEN AND HIS MINERS?
THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING
THEY'RE TOLD ANYMORE.
THAT JANSEN. THAT EX-AUSTRALIAN.
HE'S GOT 'EM THINKIN'
THEY RUN THE MINE.
ELISE OWNS THE MINE.
MY DADDY CAME WITHIN
AN ACE OF GETTIN' KILLED
FINDING AND STARTING THAT MINE.
YOU KNOW WHAT HE'D HAVE DONE.
HE'D HAVE CALLED
FOR THE RANCH HANDS.
ELISE OWNS MOST OF THE
RANCH LANDS HEREABOUTS.
AND SHORTLY, SHE'LL
OWN THE STATE SENATOR.
IT'S BETTER THAN
A TAVERN KEEPER.
ELISE OWNS THE TAVERN.
WELL, BILLY,
WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME?
ELISE.
HMM? WHAT?
MY BUSINESS WITH
PALADIN IS PRIVATE.
HONEY, I'M SERIOUS.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY.
WHY, BILLY, YOU TWO
WANNA TALK MAN'S BUSINESS.
WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO CONSULT ME.
HEY, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO BRING
YOU IN SOME BRANDY AND CIGARS?
[CHUCKLES]
BEFORE YOU SAY
ANYTHING, I LOVE ELISE.
SHE'S GOT HER
FAULTS, BUT I LOVE HER.
I KNOW THAT. I DON'T
KNOW WHY YOU NEED ME.
TO PROTECT JANSEN FROM
ELISE. SHE'S GONNA GET HIM KILLED.
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH THAT SHERIFF?
COOLEY?
HE'LL FOLD AT THE
FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE.
HER RANCH HANDS DROVE JANSEN'S
PEOPLE OFF THE STREET TONIGHT.
SHE WON'T LISTEN TO ME, AND
SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET KILLED.
AND THEN IT WOULDN'T
BE FUN ANYMORE. HMM?
WELL, I DIDN'T ASK FOR A SERMON.
WILL YOU HELP JANSEN?
WELL, I SHOULD
CONSULT JANSEN FIRST.
IF HE REFUSES MY
SERVICES, I'LL RETURN THIS.
ONE THING. DON'T TELL ELISE.
HEY, SHERIFF, HAND ME MY HAT.
COOLEY, CAN YOU TELL ME
WHERE I CAN FIND JANSEN?
WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH
HIM? THAT WOULD BE PRIVATE.
HE'S FLAT ON HIS BACK
WHERE THIS FELLA LEFT HIM.
WELL, MRS. JONES SAID
NOT TO... SHUT UP, PRISONER.
A BUNCH OF HANDS BROKE
UP A JANSEN MEETING TONIGHT.
STOMPED JANSEN
AND A COUPLE MINERS.
HOW LONG YOU GONNA HOLD
ME? TILL I GET TIRED OF YOU.
I GOTTA CHAIN HIM UP HERE.
TO KEEP THE BALLOT BOX SAFE,
I HAVE TO LOCK IT IN THE CELL.
FIND JANSEN YOURSELF.
HE'S A SEVERE MAN, OLD COOLEY.
HAND ME MY HAT, WOULD YA?
WHAT HAVE YOU
GOT AGAINST MINERS?
OH, NOTHING, EXCEPT THEY STINK.
THEY'RE DIRTY AND UNTRUSTWORTHY.
HAND ME MY HAT HERE.
MY NAME IS PALADIN.
I WAS TOLD I COULD
FIND JANSEN HERE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME FOR?
IF YOUR NAME'S JANSEN, I'VE
BEEN HIRED TO PROTECT YOU.
LOOKS LIKE I MIGHT
BE A LITTLE BIT LATE.
HIRED? NEWS TRAVELS
FAST HERE, MISTER.
I KNOW THAT YOU'VE COME
FROM THAT BANJO-PLAYING CLOWN.
NOW I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
[PALADIN] THIS HAPPENED
TONIGHT? [JANSEN] THAT'S RIGHT.
I THOUGHT I'D SPEAK UP
FOR THESE POOR BLOODY
PEOPLE STOPPED UP IN THEIR MINES
LIKE YOUR FRIENDS WAS
DROWNING GOPHERS.
HOW DO YOU THINK FRED
FEELS ABOUT MY SPEECH?
WORTH IT TO HIM, DO YOU
THINK? BILLY MADE A DEAL.
HE HIRED ME TO PROTECT
YOU. I CAN MAKE HIM STICK TO IT.
THE FEE IS THAT HIGH? YOU'VE SEEN YOUR
FRIEND'S IDEA OF DEMOCRACY IN ACTION.
GET OUT OF HERE.
MR. JANSEN.
MY SOLE PROFESSIONAL SECRET IS
TO MAKE PROFIT AGREE WITH PRINCIPLE.
I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU.
YES. BILLY BANJO WOULD
LIKE TO MAKE A FOOL OF ME.
HIRING A GUNSLINGER TO
PROTECT ME FROM HIS WIFE.
BILLY'D LIKE TO WIN FAIRLY.
HE THINKS HE CAN DO IT?
HIS WIFE IS SMARTER. SHE KNOWS
WHAT SHE HAS TO DO TO WIN.
[SOBS]
THAT'S RIGHT. HE'S DEAD.
JUST LIKE SHE HELD
A GUN TO HIS HEAD.
MRS. BILLY BANJO.
ARE YOU FAIR DINKUM?
FAIR DINKUM.
ALL RIGHT. THEN DO IT.
GIVE ME A FAIR CHANCE,
AND I'LL LICK YOUR FRIEND
AND HIS FAT WIFE
AND THEIR COWHANDS.
♪♪ [BANJO]
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING WITH HIM?
ONE OF THOSE MINERS THAT WAS
STOMPED DIED A FEW MINUTES AGO.
HE DID, HUH?
YOU'RE SURE PICKIN'
STRANGE COMPANY.
I TOLD YOU COOLEY
WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING.
NOW, THAT MAN WAS MURDERED.
THAT CHANGES THE CHARGE AND
THE PENALTY A LITTLE, DOESN'T IT?
IS THIS YOUR BUSINESS?
THESE ARE MY PEOPLE AND I'VE
NEVER SEEN 'EM LIKE THEY ARE.
A MURDER TRIAL NOW'D
BUST THIS TOWN WIDE OPEN.
I AIM TO WAIT TILL THE ELECTION'S
OVER AND TEMPERS COOL.
YOUR PEOPLE ARE LESS
THAN HALF OF THIS TOWN.
THE OTHER HALF YOU
SEEM TO FORGET ABOUT.
THEY'RE NOT COOLING OFF.
THEY'RE ABOUT TO BOIL OVER.
I'M TRYING TO KEEP 'EM ALIVE.
WHEN I GET THAT SOLVED, I'LL
WORRY ABOUT THEIR RIGHTS.
AN ELECTION ISN'T WORTH
HOLDING UNLESS IT'S A SURE THING.
JANSEN, WILL YOU WAIT HERE?
SO OLD GENERAL SCOTT
COME TO ME AND SAID,
"BILLY, WE NEED YOUR HELP."
SO NATURALLY, I...
WHAT I'VE GOT TO SAY TO
YOU, I'D LIKE TO SAY IN PRIVATE.
RESTRAIN YOUR
ENTHUSIASM. I'LL BE BACK.
AW! NO. COME ON. WE WANT MORE.
YOU'VE KILLED A MAN. YOU
STILL WANNA BE A SENATOR?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT? I DIDN'T TOUCH ANYBODY.
ONE OF THE MEN INJURED
TONIGHT DIED A FEW MINUTES AGO.
THE BIG CAMPAIGN AND ALL THE
FUN AND THE CHEERING JUST STOPPED.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT? I
ASKED YOU TO PROTECT JANSEN.
THE ONLY WAY TO PROTECT
JANSEN IS TO QUIT THE RACE.
GET A SHOVEL AND JOIN THE
BURYING PARTY FOR THAT MAN.
ELISE WON'T LIKE THAT.
I FEEL SORRY FOR THE
MAN, BUT I'M NOT GONNA QUIT.
BILLY, YOU'D BE A MAJOR
DISASTER AS A SENATOR.
WELL, MY FRIENDS HAVE
GOT A RIGHT TO FIND OUT.
YOU DO YOUR JOB AND
NOBODY'LL GET HURT.
I DO MY JOB AND YOU'LL
GET A FAIR ELECTION
WHETHER YOU WIN OR LOSE.
SO HE HIRED THIS PALADIN
TO PROTECT JANSEN, AND...
THAT MINER YOU STOMPED DIED.
OLD TOM MOORE, A
RELIC OF BYGONE DAYS...
LOVER.
WHY DID PALADIN COME HERE?
HMM?
NOTHING. WE'RE JUST OLD FRIENDS.
WHAT DID YOU WANT
THE THOUSAND FOR?
I DIDN'T GIVE HIM ANY MONEY.
YES, YOU DID.
YOU HIRED HIM.
FOR WHAT?
YOU DON'T LIKE THE
WAY I DO THINGS?
OH, YOU BONEHEAD!
THERE ARE THREE MINERS FOR
EVERY COWHAND IN THIS COUNTY.
IN A FAIR ELECTION,
THEY'D BURY YOU.
AND THEY'D HANG YOU!
LOOK, ELISE, YOU CAN'T PUSH
PEOPLE AROUND THE WAY YOU DO.
NO?
MRS. JONES... OH, MRS. JONES,
THERE'S NO CHANCE OF
JANSEN WINNING, IS THERE?
'CAUSE HE'D CLOSE
DOWN THIS TOWN.
ME AND MY HERD WOULDN'T
BE AROUND ANYMORE.
GREY HEART HERE IS
GONNA FIX EVERYTHING.
BUT JUST IN CASE...
COOLEY.
YES, MA'AM?
YOU GIVE THEM BACK THEIR GUNS.
NOW, MRS. JONES...
COME ON, COOLEY.
WHO'S GONNA WIN?
I CAN'T THINK OF ANY OTHER
WAY TO KEEP THOSE MINERS
FROM COMING IN HERE
AND WRECKING THIS TOWN.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. LET'S GO.
COOLEY'D BE THE FIRST
RAT OFF A SINKIN' SHIP.
BUT WE'RE ALL RIGHT.
GET IN LINE! YOU'LL
GET YOUR GUNS.
HOLD IT!
LIKE THE MAN SAID, GET IN
LINE. YOU'LL GET YOUR GUN BACK.
[WHISPERS] ABOUT HERE?
I WAS IN THERE
JUST ONCE, MISTER.
YOU HIT THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE
ABOUT 15 FEET FROM THAT CORNER.
THE CELL SHOULD BE HERE. THE
BED LETS DOWN FROM THIS WALL.
NOW. WHILE THEY'RE
MAKING ALL THAT NOISE.
NOT ALL THE WAY THROUGH.
STAY WITH US, JANSEN. RIGHT.
THE SHERIFF'S SITTING
IN HIS OFFICE. WE READY?
IT'S ALMOST THROUGH IN TWO
PLACES. I CAN TELL BY THE SOUND.
DID I MAKE A HOLE?
JUST A MINUTE.
IT'LL BE NICE IF THEY
DON'T NOTICE THE DRAFT.
MRS. WHITE, WE'RE READY
FOR THE MEN TO VOTE.
YES, THEY'RE READY.
JANSEN.
WE GET 'EM ALL?
ENOUGH. ENOUGH TO WIN.
ALL RIGHT. THE POLLS ARE OPEN.
HOLD IT. HAVEN'T YOU
FORGOTTEN SOMETHING?
AN ELECTION ISN'T LEGAL
UNLESS THERE ARE WITNESSES.
I WANNA BE DEAD
SURE THIS ONE'S LEGAL.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
TO HELP KEEP THE PEACE.
LET HIM. CAN'T HURT.
ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD.
NOW YOU'RE REALLY
PUSHING YOUR LUCK.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
ONLY ONE.
WAIT A MINUTE. HE'S
DISQUALIFIED, SHERIFF.
THERE'S NO NEED
TO CROSS HIM OFF.
I TOOK OUT THE EXTRA BALLOTS.
HE KILLED ONE VOTE FOR JANSEN.
CROSS HIM OFF AND MAKE IT EVEN.
THAT'S FAIR.
YOU ASKED FOR THAT.
WRONG TIME, WRONG PLACE.
LATER. BOOTS, GUNS. YOU
NAME IT, AND I'LL MAKE YOU EAT IT.
ALL RIGHT. COME ALONG.
WELL...
LOOKS LIKE YOUR
FRIENDS DIDN'T MAKE IT.
I'M READY IF YOU ARE.
BILL BANJO.
HIS LEGAL NAME IS JONES,
BUT I'LL LET THAT GO.
ONE FOR JANSEN.
JANSEN? SOMEBODY DOESN'T
KNOW WHERE HIS BREAD'S BUTTERED.
JANSEN.
JANSEN.
JANSEN.
JANSEN.
JANSEN.
BILLY.
JANSEN.
BANJO.
JANSEN.
JANSEN.
JANSEN.
JANSEN!
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?
SAME PLACE I GOT THE BALLOT BOX.
NOW, SHERIFF, WOULD
YOU LIKE TO COUNT,
OR WILL YOU TAKE MY WORD
THAT 346 MINERS VOTED?
ALL EXCEPT FRED
WADE, AND HE DIED.
THE DIGGERS ARE
PARADIN' IN THE STREET!
WE'RE HAVING OUR VICTORY
PARADE AND BURYING OUR DEAD.
YOU GONNA LET
THEM DEFY YOU, ELISE?
THIS KIND OF STORY
GETS TOLD OVER AND OVER.
THEY'LL NEVER LET YOU FORGET
HOW YOU LET YOUR TOWN GET AWAY.
GO ON, COOLEY.
THEY'RE DARING YOU.
THAT'S RIGHT, COOLEY.
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO
DECIDE WHICH SIDE YOU'RE ON.
THEY WON'T LET YOU LIVE.
THEY'LL MAKE YOU EAT THAT BADGE.
GO AHEAD, COOLEY. LET 'EM
BREAK UP A PEACEFUL FUNERAL,
BURN THE BALLOTS AND
LEAVE A MURDERER UNHUNG.
HOW LONG DO YOU THINK
YOU'D GET AWAY WITH IT?
WAIT. YOU CAN'T RUN
OUT ON ME LIKE THIS.
YOU DIRT-GRUBBERS STAY PUT.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND, COOLEY.
IF I DON'T GET YOU,
COOLEY, I'LL GET BILL
OR THE GUNFIGHTER
OR THE FAT LADY.
COME AND GET ME.
YOU!
COOLEY!
COME ON.
STOP THEM.
STOP THEM!
WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP?
WE DON'T HAVE TO
LISTEN TO YOU ANYMORE.
YOU'RE NOTHING
BUT A BIG, FAT LA...
NOW, YOU KEEP A CIVIL
TONGUE IN YOUR HEAD.
YOU DONE IT YOURSELF.
YOU PAID HIM TO WRECK HER.
IT'S ALL DONE NOW.
GO ON. GET OUT OF HERE.
MUST BE PLENTY OF SALOONS
NEED A LOUD MAN ON A BANJO.
BILLY.
♪ "HAVE GUN, WILL TRAVEL"
READS THE CARD OF A MAN ♪
♪ A KNIGHT WITHOUT
ARMOR IN A SAVAGE LAND ♪
♪ HIS FAST GUN-FOR-HIRE
HEEDS THE CALLING WIND ♪
♪ PALADIN, PALADIN
WHERE DO YOU ROAM ♪
COME IN.
[DOOR OPENS]
HEY BOY.
MR. PALADIN.
NOBODY KNOW WHAT IT
MEANS. NOT EVEN MAILMAN.
[PALADIN] TURN IT OVER.
BANJO?
A BANJO. OF COURSE.
PACK THE BAGS, HEY BOY.
[MAN] LET HIM HAVE IT.
♪♪ [BANJO]
THAT'S ALL.
♪♪ [BANJO CONTINUES]
[LAUGHING]
YEE-HOO!
♪♪ [ENDS]
COME ON.
COME ON.
[MAN] GIVE ME THE GUN.
I'M SORRY.
DON'T BE SORRY.
GIVE ME THE GUN OR TURN
AROUND AND RIDE ON OUT.
I CAN'T DO THAT, SHERIFF. I
JUST ARRIVED HERE ON BUSINESS.
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I'M AFRAID OF.
WE GOT AN ELECTION GOING ON HERE
I'M TRYING TO KEEP
FROM TURNING INTO A WAR.
THAT IS NO WAY TO BRING
ABOUT DISARMAMENT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE
LIKE THAT. YOU'LL BE SAFE.
I'LL GIVE IT BACK TO YOU RIGHT
AFTER THE VOTES ARE COUNTED.
TAKE IT.
I'LL WANT IT BACK
IN GOOD CONDITION.
YEAH. RIGHT AFTER THE SHOW.
[MAN] CRAZY GRASSHOPPERS
IS JUST FLYIN' HIGH!
FLYIN' HIGH, DOIN' NOTHING!
BUT YOU KNOW THAT YOU
CAN'T CATCH A GRASSHOPPER,
BUT YOU JUST STEP ON AN ANT.
THERE'S THE MORAL TO THAT STORY.
[MEN LAUGHING]
[MAN] YEE-HOO!
YEE-HOO!
[MEN LAUGHING]
YA-YA-HOO!
YEE-HOO!
[YELLS]
I WANNA TELL YOU
ABOUT THE MEXICAN WAR.
THE MEXICAN WAR.
[MAN] YEE-HOO!
I HAVE FOUGHT AND I
HAVE BLED AND I HAVE...
[WOMAN] THAT A BOY, BILLY!
YOU ABOUT TO SAY YOU'D
DIED FOR YOUR COUNTRY?
PALADIN!
IT'S HIM, HONEY. MEET THE WIFE.
HI, HONEY. HOW DO YOU DO?
END OF SPEECH.
THAT'S ALL THERE IS.
NO! NO, NO, NO!
COME ON! MORE!
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
HIM AND ME. IT'S A CLASS
REUNION. TOP AND BOTTOM.
BUSTER, TAKE OVER. SHAKE
UP THE PIANO. COME ON.
COME ON.
BILLY, I GATHER YOU'RE
RUNNING FOR SENATOR,
BUT DO YOU EXPECT TO WIN
WITH SPEECHES LIKE THAT?
HE CHARMS THE COWHANDS
RIGHT OUT OF THEIR BOOTS.
HE'LL HAVE TO TO
WIN ANY ELECTION.
HA! SOME FRIEND YOU ARE. ROLLS.
PALADIN, I GOT TIRED OF
BEING A SLOB, YOU KNOW.
IT GOT HARD TO STAY LAZY AND
OUT OF WORK. IT'S A LOST ART.
YOU COULD THROW A ROCK ANYWHERE
IN THE COUNTRY AND HIT SOMEBODY
THAT'D MAKE A GOOD
MOTHER OR A FINE PRESIDENT.
JAM. [COUGHS]
ANYWAYS, IT'S NOT
ME THAT'S AMBITIOUS.
IT'S ELISE.
WELL, I'M CERTAINLY
RELIEVED TO HEAR THAT.
BY THE WAY, IS THERE
ANOTHER CANDIDATE?
MARTIN JANSEN. WE'LL
BURY HIM AND HIS MINERS.
HONEY, LISTEN, YOU CAN'T PUSH...
YOU SAY JANSEN AND HIS MINERS?
THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING
THEY'RE TOLD ANYMORE.
THAT JANSEN. THAT EX-AUSTRALIAN.
HE'S GOT 'EM THINKIN'
THEY RUN THE MINE.
ELISE OWNS THE MINE.
MY DADDY CAME WITHIN
AN ACE OF GETTIN' KILLED
FINDING AND STARTING THAT MINE.
YOU KNOW WHAT HE'D HAVE DONE.
HE'D HAVE CALLED
FOR THE RANCH HANDS.
ELISE OWNS MOST OF THE
RANCH LANDS HEREABOUTS.
AND SHORTLY, SHE'LL
OWN THE STATE SENATOR.
IT'S BETTER THAN
A TAVERN KEEPER.
ELISE OWNS THE TAVERN.
WELL, BILLY,
WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME?
ELISE.
HMM? WHAT?
MY BUSINESS WITH
PALADIN IS PRIVATE.
HONEY, I'M SERIOUS.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY.
WHY, BILLY, YOU TWO
WANNA TALK MAN'S BUSINESS.
WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO CONSULT ME.
HEY, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO BRING
YOU IN SOME BRANDY AND CIGARS?
[CHUCKLES]
BEFORE YOU SAY
ANYTHING, I LOVE ELISE.
SHE'S GOT HER
FAULTS, BUT I LOVE HER.
I KNOW THAT. I DON'T
KNOW WHY YOU NEED ME.
TO PROTECT JANSEN FROM
ELISE. SHE'S GONNA GET HIM KILLED.
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH THAT SHERIFF?
COOLEY?
HE'LL FOLD AT THE
FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE.
HER RANCH HANDS DROVE JANSEN'S
PEOPLE OFF THE STREET TONIGHT.
SHE WON'T LISTEN TO ME, AND
SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET KILLED.
AND THEN IT WOULDN'T
BE FUN ANYMORE. HMM?
WELL, I DIDN'T ASK FOR A SERMON.
WILL YOU HELP JANSEN?
WELL, I SHOULD
CONSULT JANSEN FIRST.
IF HE REFUSES MY
SERVICES, I'LL RETURN THIS.
ONE THING. DON'T TELL ELISE.
HEY, SHERIFF, HAND ME MY HAT.
COOLEY, CAN YOU TELL ME
WHERE I CAN FIND JANSEN?
WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH
HIM? THAT WOULD BE PRIVATE.
HE'S FLAT ON HIS BACK
WHERE THIS FELLA LEFT HIM.
WELL, MRS. JONES SAID
NOT TO... SHUT UP, PRISONER.
A BUNCH OF HANDS BROKE
UP A JANSEN MEETING TONIGHT.
STOMPED JANSEN
AND A COUPLE MINERS.
HOW LONG YOU GONNA HOLD
ME? TILL I GET TIRED OF YOU.
I GOTTA CHAIN HIM UP HERE.
TO KEEP THE BALLOT BOX SAFE,
I HAVE TO LOCK IT IN THE CELL.
FIND JANSEN YOURSELF.
HE'S A SEVERE MAN, OLD COOLEY.
HAND ME MY HAT, WOULD YA?
WHAT HAVE YOU
GOT AGAINST MINERS?
OH, NOTHING, EXCEPT THEY STINK.
THEY'RE DIRTY AND UNTRUSTWORTHY.
HAND ME MY HAT HERE.
MY NAME IS PALADIN.
I WAS TOLD I COULD
FIND JANSEN HERE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME FOR?
IF YOUR NAME'S JANSEN, I'VE
BEEN HIRED TO PROTECT YOU.
LOOKS LIKE I MIGHT
BE A LITTLE BIT LATE.
HIRED? NEWS TRAVELS
FAST HERE, MISTER.
I KNOW THAT YOU'VE COME
FROM THAT BANJO-PLAYING CLOWN.
NOW I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
[PALADIN] THIS HAPPENED
TONIGHT? [JANSEN] THAT'S RIGHT.
I THOUGHT I'D SPEAK UP
FOR THESE POOR BLOODY
PEOPLE STOPPED UP IN THEIR MINES
LIKE YOUR FRIENDS WAS
DROWNING GOPHERS.
HOW DO YOU THINK FRED
FEELS ABOUT MY SPEECH?
WORTH IT TO HIM, DO YOU
THINK? BILLY MADE A DEAL.
HE HIRED ME TO PROTECT
YOU. I CAN MAKE HIM STICK TO IT.
THE FEE IS THAT HIGH? YOU'VE SEEN YOUR
FRIEND'S IDEA OF DEMOCRACY IN ACTION.
GET OUT OF HERE.
MR. JANSEN.
MY SOLE PROFESSIONAL SECRET IS
TO MAKE PROFIT AGREE WITH PRINCIPLE.
I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU.
YES. BILLY BANJO WOULD
LIKE TO MAKE A FOOL OF ME.
HIRING A GUNSLINGER TO
PROTECT ME FROM HIS WIFE.
BILLY'D LIKE TO WIN FAIRLY.
HE THINKS HE CAN DO IT?
HIS WIFE IS SMARTER. SHE KNOWS
WHAT SHE HAS TO DO TO WIN.
[SOBS]
THAT'S RIGHT. HE'S DEAD.
JUST LIKE SHE HELD
A GUN TO HIS HEAD.
MRS. BILLY BANJO.
ARE YOU FAIR DINKUM?
FAIR DINKUM.
ALL RIGHT. THEN DO IT.
GIVE ME A FAIR CHANCE,
AND I'LL LICK YOUR FRIEND
AND HIS FAT WIFE
AND THEIR COWHANDS.
♪♪ [BANJO]
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING WITH HIM?
ONE OF THOSE MINERS THAT WAS
STOMPED DIED A FEW MINUTES AGO.
HE DID, HUH?
YOU'RE SURE PICKIN'
STRANGE COMPANY.
I TOLD YOU COOLEY
WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING.
NOW, THAT MAN WAS MURDERED.
THAT CHANGES THE CHARGE AND
THE PENALTY A LITTLE, DOESN'T IT?
IS THIS YOUR BUSINESS?
THESE ARE MY PEOPLE AND I'VE
NEVER SEEN 'EM LIKE THEY ARE.
A MURDER TRIAL NOW'D
BUST THIS TOWN WIDE OPEN.
I AIM TO WAIT TILL THE ELECTION'S
OVER AND TEMPERS COOL.
YOUR PEOPLE ARE LESS
THAN HALF OF THIS TOWN.
THE OTHER HALF YOU
SEEM TO FORGET ABOUT.
THEY'RE NOT COOLING OFF.
THEY'RE ABOUT TO BOIL OVER.
I'M TRYING TO KEEP 'EM ALIVE.
WHEN I GET THAT SOLVED, I'LL
WORRY ABOUT THEIR RIGHTS.
AN ELECTION ISN'T WORTH
HOLDING UNLESS IT'S A SURE THING.
JANSEN, WILL YOU WAIT HERE?
SO OLD GENERAL SCOTT
COME TO ME AND SAID,
"BILLY, WE NEED YOUR HELP."
SO NATURALLY, I...
WHAT I'VE GOT TO SAY TO
YOU, I'D LIKE TO SAY IN PRIVATE.
RESTRAIN YOUR
ENTHUSIASM. I'LL BE BACK.
AW! NO. COME ON. WE WANT MORE.
YOU'VE KILLED A MAN. YOU
STILL WANNA BE A SENATOR?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT? I DIDN'T TOUCH ANYBODY.
ONE OF THE MEN INJURED
TONIGHT DIED A FEW MINUTES AGO.
THE BIG CAMPAIGN AND ALL THE
FUN AND THE CHEERING JUST STOPPED.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT? I
ASKED YOU TO PROTECT JANSEN.
THE ONLY WAY TO PROTECT
JANSEN IS TO QUIT THE RACE.
GET A SHOVEL AND JOIN THE
BURYING PARTY FOR THAT MAN.
ELISE WON'T LIKE THAT.
I FEEL SORRY FOR THE
MAN, BUT I'M NOT GONNA QUIT.
BILLY, YOU'D BE A MAJOR
DISASTER AS A SENATOR.
WELL, MY FRIENDS HAVE
GOT A RIGHT TO FIND OUT.
YOU DO YOUR JOB AND
NOBODY'LL GET HURT.
I DO MY JOB AND YOU'LL
GET A FAIR ELECTION
WHETHER YOU WIN OR LOSE.
SO HE HIRED THIS PALADIN
TO PROTECT JANSEN, AND...
THAT MINER YOU STOMPED DIED.
OLD TOM MOORE, A
RELIC OF BYGONE DAYS...
LOVER.
WHY DID PALADIN COME HERE?
HMM?
NOTHING. WE'RE JUST OLD FRIENDS.
WHAT DID YOU WANT
THE THOUSAND FOR?
I DIDN'T GIVE HIM ANY MONEY.
YES, YOU DID.
YOU HIRED HIM.
FOR WHAT?
YOU DON'T LIKE THE
WAY I DO THINGS?
OH, YOU BONEHEAD!
THERE ARE THREE MINERS FOR
EVERY COWHAND IN THIS COUNTY.
IN A FAIR ELECTION,
THEY'D BURY YOU.
AND THEY'D HANG YOU!
LOOK, ELISE, YOU CAN'T PUSH
PEOPLE AROUND THE WAY YOU DO.
NO?
MRS. JONES... OH, MRS. JONES,
THERE'S NO CHANCE OF
JANSEN WINNING, IS THERE?
'CAUSE HE'D CLOSE
DOWN THIS TOWN.
ME AND MY HERD WOULDN'T
BE AROUND ANYMORE.
GREY HEART HERE IS
GONNA FIX EVERYTHING.
BUT JUST IN CASE...
COOLEY.
YES, MA'AM?
YOU GIVE THEM BACK THEIR GUNS.
NOW, MRS. JONES...
COME ON, COOLEY.
WHO'S GONNA WIN?
I CAN'T THINK OF ANY OTHER
WAY TO KEEP THOSE MINERS
FROM COMING IN HERE
AND WRECKING THIS TOWN.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. LET'S GO.
COOLEY'D BE THE FIRST
RAT OFF A SINKIN' SHIP.
BUT WE'RE ALL RIGHT.
GET IN LINE! YOU'LL
GET YOUR GUNS.
HOLD IT!
LIKE THE MAN SAID, GET IN
LINE. YOU'LL GET YOUR GUN BACK.
[WHISPERS] ABOUT HERE?
I WAS IN THERE
JUST ONCE, MISTER.
YOU HIT THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE
ABOUT 15 FEET FROM THAT CORNER.
THE CELL SHOULD BE HERE. THE
BED LETS DOWN FROM THIS WALL.
NOW. WHILE THEY'RE
MAKING ALL THAT NOISE.
NOT ALL THE WAY THROUGH.
STAY WITH US, JANSEN. RIGHT.
THE SHERIFF'S SITTING
IN HIS OFFICE. WE READY?
IT'S ALMOST THROUGH IN TWO
PLACES. I CAN TELL BY THE SOUND.
DID I MAKE A HOLE?
JUST A MINUTE.
IT'LL BE NICE IF THEY
DON'T NOTICE THE DRAFT.
MRS. WHITE, WE'RE READY
FOR THE MEN TO VOTE.
YES, THEY'RE READY.
JANSEN.
WE GET 'EM ALL?
ENOUGH. ENOUGH TO WIN.
ALL RIGHT. THE POLLS ARE OPEN.
HOLD IT. HAVEN'T YOU
FORGOTTEN SOMETHING?
AN ELECTION ISN'T LEGAL
UNLESS THERE ARE WITNESSES.
I WANNA BE DEAD
SURE THIS ONE'S LEGAL.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
TO HELP KEEP THE PEACE.
LET HIM. CAN'T HURT.
ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD.
NOW YOU'RE REALLY
PUSHING YOUR LUCK.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
ONLY ONE.
WAIT A MINUTE. HE'S
DISQUALIFIED, SHERIFF.
THERE'S NO NEED
TO CROSS HIM OFF.
I TOOK OUT THE EXTRA BALLOTS.
HE KILLED ONE VOTE FOR JANSEN.
CROSS HIM OFF AND MAKE IT EVEN.
THAT'S FAIR.
YOU ASKED FOR THAT.
WRONG TIME, WRONG PLACE.
LATER. BOOTS, GUNS. YOU
NAME IT, AND I'LL MAKE YOU EAT IT.
ALL RIGHT. COME ALONG.
WELL...
LOOKS LIKE YOUR
FRIENDS DIDN'T MAKE IT.
I'M READY IF YOU ARE.
BILL BANJO.
HIS LEGAL NAME IS JONES,
BUT I'LL LET THAT GO.
ONE FOR JANSEN.
JANSEN? SOMEBODY DOESN'T
KNOW WHERE HIS BREAD'S BUTTERED.
JANSEN.
JANSEN.
JANSEN.
JANSEN.
JANSEN.
BILLY.
JANSEN.
BANJO.
JANSEN.
JANSEN.
JANSEN.
JANSEN!
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?
SAME PLACE I GOT THE BALLOT BOX.
NOW, SHERIFF, WOULD
YOU LIKE TO COUNT,
OR WILL YOU TAKE MY WORD
THAT 346 MINERS VOTED?
ALL EXCEPT FRED
WADE, AND HE DIED.
THE DIGGERS ARE
PARADIN' IN THE STREET!
WE'RE HAVING OUR VICTORY
PARADE AND BURYING OUR DEAD.
YOU GONNA LET
THEM DEFY YOU, ELISE?
THIS KIND OF STORY
GETS TOLD OVER AND OVER.
THEY'LL NEVER LET YOU FORGET
HOW YOU LET YOUR TOWN GET AWAY.
GO ON, COOLEY.
THEY'RE DARING YOU.
THAT'S RIGHT, COOLEY.
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO
DECIDE WHICH SIDE YOU'RE ON.
THEY WON'T LET YOU LIVE.
THEY'LL MAKE YOU EAT THAT BADGE.
GO AHEAD, COOLEY. LET 'EM
BREAK UP A PEACEFUL FUNERAL,
BURN THE BALLOTS AND
LEAVE A MURDERER UNHUNG.
HOW LONG DO YOU THINK
YOU'D GET AWAY WITH IT?
WAIT. YOU CAN'T RUN
OUT ON ME LIKE THIS.
YOU DIRT-GRUBBERS STAY PUT.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND, COOLEY.
IF I DON'T GET YOU,
COOLEY, I'LL GET BILL
OR THE GUNFIGHTER
OR THE FAT LADY.
COME AND GET ME.
YOU!
COOLEY!
COME ON.
STOP THEM.
STOP THEM!
WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP?
WE DON'T HAVE TO
LISTEN TO YOU ANYMORE.
YOU'RE NOTHING
BUT A BIG, FAT LA...
NOW, YOU KEEP A CIVIL
TONGUE IN YOUR HEAD.
YOU DONE IT YOURSELF.
YOU PAID HIM TO WRECK HER.
IT'S ALL DONE NOW.
GO ON. GET OUT OF HERE.
MUST BE PLENTY OF SALOONS
NEED A LOUD MAN ON A BANJO.
BILLY.
♪ "HAVE GUN, WILL TRAVEL"
READS THE CARD OF A MAN ♪
♪ A KNIGHT WITHOUT
ARMOR IN A SAVAGE LAND ♪
♪ HIS FAST GUN-FOR-HIRE
HEEDS THE CALLING WIND ♪
♪ PALADIN, PALADIN
WHERE DO YOU ROAM ♪