Have Gun - Will Travel (1957–1963): Season 3, Episode 29 - An International Affair - full transcript
Princess Mapuana pays Paladin to keep safe a gift - a signet ring from her royal family to our president. But someone is killing off those involved.
MR. PALADIN.
HEY BOY, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
WHERE'S THE WINE?
ALL CHILLED. I BRING IT
UP AFTER I SET THE TABLE.
THE CHEF SAY WILD
DUCK JUST ARRIVE.
IN OVEN NOW.
FINE. THIS PLAN IS JUST ABOUT
AS GOOD AS A MAN CAN MAKE IT.
ALL IS NOW UP TO THE
LADY. [MAN LAUGHING]
[MAN] TO BEGIN, THE SNOW
AND ICE OF THE RUSSIAN TUNDRA
WOULD MELT WITH YOUR
BEAUTY. [WOMAN] OH!
TAKE A LETTER.
DEVISE WITH RIGHT PEN.
"WHOLE VOLUMES
TO SPEAK OF, PEGEEN.
"WHAT IS SHE THAT ALL
OUR SWAINS COMMEND HER?
WHOLLY FAIR AND WISE IS SHE."
YOU GO TOO FAST, PRINCE.
OH, I FORGET. THE HAND IS
SLOWER THAN THE HEART.
OH, PALADIN.
PRINCE ALEXEI ROMANOV.
[THUD] MR. PALADIN.
I DON'T PLACE THE FACE, PRINCE,
BUT THE LITERARY
STYLE IS FAMILIAR.
OF COURSE. SHAKESPEARE.
WHEN I WRITE A LOVE LETTER, I
WRITE NOTHING BUT THE BEST.
NOW WHERE WERE WE?
LOVE'S LABOUR LOST.
AS YOU CAN SEE, I'M BUSY,
PALADIN. AS FOR DINNER...
I WILL BE BUSY FOR
THE NEXT FEW WEEKS,
DICTATING THE LONGEST,
MOST PASSIONATE,
MOST MARVELOUS LOVE LETTER
IN THE WHOLE HISTORY OF MANKIND.
FAR BE IT FOR ME TO INTERFERE
WITH GREAT LITERATURE.
EXCUSE ME.
"NOW IS THE WINTER
OF OUR DISCONTENT...
MADE GLORIOUS SUMMER BY PEGEEN."
HEY BOY, SEND MY DINNER UP.
"WASTE NOT, WANT NOT."
[KNOCKING]
[MOANING]
WHERE IS HE?
WHO?
DID YOU SEE WHO THREW THAT?
NO.
DO YOU WANT ME TO
TAKE YOU TO THE POLICE?
BUT THAT IS WHY I
TRIED TO SEE YOU.
THE POLICE MUST NOT KNOW.
WHY?
IT WOULD CREATE THE
MOST HORRIBLE SCANDAL
BETWEEN YOUR COUNTRY AND MINE.
YOU SURE YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO THREW THE KNIFE?
PRINCE KIMO, MY STEPBROTHER.
EVER SINCE I LANDED
IN THIS COUNTRY,
HE'S BEEN TRYING TO STOP ME.
PRINCE KIMO, YOUR STEPBROTHER?
YOU ARE A PRINCESS?
DO YOU DOUBT IT?
A PRINCESS OF WHAT?
I AM PRINCESS MAPUANA
FROM THE SANDWICH ISLANDS
OF WHICH MY UNCLE IS KING.
BETTER KNOWN TO
YOU, PERHAPS, AS HAWAII.
PRINCESS MAPUANA OF
THE SANDWICH ISLANDS.
"HISTORY OF THE
SANDWICH ISLANDS."
AHA.
I WAS AN UGLY CHILD.
WELL, THIS MUST'VE BEEN
DONE A LONG TIME AGO.
YOU WOULD NOT THINK OF
ME AS A CHILD, WOULD YOU?
NO. NO. NO.
MY UNCLE SEND ME WITH A GIFT
TO THE KING OF YOUR COUNTRY.
THE, UH,
PRESIDENT?
KING PRESIDENT.
THAT IS HIS NAME.
WHAT KIND OF A GIFT?
SIGNET RING...
FROM OUR ROYAL FAMILY.
I'M SURE OUR KING PRESIDENT
WILL BE VERY PLEASED WITH IT.
IT'S NOT THE RING THAT MATTERS.
IT'S THE MEANING THAT IT HOLDS.
OH?
IT SPEAKS WITH THE
VOICE OF MY UNCLE.
IT SAYS, "COME. BRING YOUR
WAR BOATS AND BE OUR FATHER."
AND PRINCE KIMO HAS OTHER IDEAS.
PRINCE IS A FOOL. HE WANTS
THE THRONE FOR HIMSELF.
AND YOU DON'T.
I LOVE YOUR COUNTRY.
OTHER FOREIGNERS COME TO
US WITH FOES, WITH TREACHERY.
YOU PEOPLE COME TO
US WITH MONEY TO TRADE.
AND WHAT MAY I DO FOR YOU?
KEEP THIS RING FOR ME.
PROTECT IT WITH YOUR LIFE.
UNTIL I ASK IT BACK.
I WILL PAY YOU WELL.
THOSE ARE LOVELY.
IT'S AN EXCELLENT LIKENESS
OF YOUR AUNT LILIUOKALANI.
PRINTED IN SWEDEN, WEREN'T THEY?
I DON'T BELIEVE THEY'LL GET
YOU VERY FAR IN THIS COUNTRY.
YOU REFUSE TO HELP
ME IN MY GREAT DANGER?
YOU SAY YOUR BROTHER
THREW THIS KNIFE AT YOU.
NO ONE ELSE WOULD
HAVE THE REASON TO.
FOR YOUR BROTHER TO
HAVE THROWN THE KNIFE
SO THAT IT WOULD
ENTER AT THIS ANGLE,
HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE
BEEN STANDING ON THE CEILING.
PRINCESS, I THINK THAT...
THAT IS HOW THE KNIFE
ENTERED THE DOOR.
THEN YOU REFUSE TO HELP ME?
NO. NO. NO. NO.
LET US SAY, RATHER, I
PREFER NOT TO DO BUSINESS
WITH SOMEONE I CAN'T
TURN MY BACK ON.
"PIECE RESISISAN."
MMM.
DUCK WITH WILD RICE.
I'LL TAKE THAT TRAY.
CERTAINLY.
GO.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, HEY BOY.
AND CLOSE THE DOOR.
THE RING, PLEASE.
THIS WOULD BE PRINCE KIMO.
YOUR SISTER SEEMS TO HAVE MADE
A REMARKABLY ACCURATE
ESTIMATE OF YOUR CHARACTER.
WHAT DID SHE SAY?
THAT YOU WERE TRYING
TO STEAL THE RING.
YOU WILL BELIEVE
HER. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
HOW CAN I CONVINCE YOU?
THE RING IS MINE TO
DELIVER TO YOUR PRESIDENT.
WHY WOULD SHE TRY
TO STEAL IT FROM YOU?
SHE WAS TOLD TO BY A MAN
WHO CLAIMS TO LOVE HER.
WOULD BE KIND TO HER AS
LONG AS SHE'S HELPFUL TO HIM.
AND THEN... WHY WOULD
SHE GIVE IT TO ME?
THAT'S WHAT I HOPED
YOU COULD EXPLAIN.
AND HER LOVER?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET HIM? YES.
COME. HE IS...
[LAUGHS]
SIR, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYBODY
RUNNING BY HERE, HAVE YOU?
SIR, I WAS SOUND ASLEEP.
YOU ALWAYS SLEEP
WITH YOUR SHOES ON?
QUITE.
HEY BOY.
WILL YOU RETURN
THIS TO THE KITCHEN
AND CALL THE MANAGER, PLEASE.
[THUNDERCLAP]
I'VE SENT SOMEONE
FOR THE POLICE,
BUT I DON'T HAVE MUCH HOPE
THEY'LL TURN UP BEFORE MORNING.
I UNDERSTAND THERE'S ANOTHER
RIOT AT THE BARBARY COAST.
I'D BETTER HAVE ANOTHER
TALK WITH THE PRINCESS.
WHAT'S HER ROOM NUMBER?
THERE'S A PRINCESS IN MY HOTEL?
PRINCESS MAPUANA.
NO. NO ONE BY THAT NAME
IS REGISTERED WITH US.
NO?
HEY BOY, HAVE YOU SEEN
ANY POLYNESIAN LADIES
AROUND THE HOTEL TODAY?
IF A LADY ATTRACTIVE, I THINK
YOU WILL SEE HER BEFORE ME.
HA-HA-HA.
WHAT DOES THIS PRINCESS
HAVE TO DO WITH IT?
THE LATE PRINCE KIMO
WAS HER STEPBROTHER.
SHE SAID HE WAS TRYING TO MURDER HER
FOR THIS RING. SHE WAS OBVIOUSLY LYING.
I'D BETTER KEEP IT IN THE
SAFE TILL THE POLICE COME.
THERE'S NOT MUCH POINT IN
HAVING A TRAP IF WE HIDE THE BAIT,
IS THERE?
[THUNDERCLAP]
[RATTLING]
NOBODY STRIKES A ROMANOV!
$5,000 MY FRIEND, AND I DON'T
MEAN SHAKESPEARE EITHER.
FOR WHAT?
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND? THE RING.
ISN'T EVERYBODY AFTER THE RING?
I'M LISTENING.
IN PETERSBURG, BUREAUCRATS THINK
IF ENGLAND, AMERICA, AND PRUSSIA
ALL WANT THE SANDWICH
ISLANDS, IT MUST BE WORTH HAVING.
WORTH HAVING ENOUGH
TO KILL FOR? KILL?
WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT
KILLING? I DON'T EVEN EAT MEAT.
PRINCE, THE RING IS NOT
FOR SALE. NOW WHAT?
YOU WON'T SELL IT?
WHY DON'T YOU SAY
THIS IMMEDIATELY?
OUR FATHER THE TSAR,
HE TELLS ME TO TRY.
SO I TRY. NOBODY SAYS
I HAVE TO SUCCEED.
YOU DON'T WANT THE
SANDWICH ISLANDS.
FOR WHAT?
I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT
WITH PEGEEN.
♪♪ [HUMMING]
THE RUSSIANS AND THE PRUSSIANS
AND THE ENGLISH...
AND HIS AUNTS.
♪ HIS SISTERS AND HIS COUSINS
WHOM HE RECKONS UP BY DOZENS ♪
♪ HIS SISTERS AND HIS
COUSINS AND HIS AUNTS ♪
♪♪ [MAN SINGING ALONG]
[LAUGHS]
GOOD EVENING.
YOU DO WANT TO SEE ME?
MAY I COME IN?
BY ALL MEANS.
I LIKE A MAN WHO SPEAKS HIS MIND
ONCE I KNOW WHO HE IS.
JORGEN VON HENGST,
PROFESSOR OF MILITARY
SCIENCE, UNIVERSITY OF KIEL.
AT PRESENT, NAVAL
ATTACHÉ TO PRINCE KIMO.
THE LATE PRINCE KIMO.
AND YOU?
YOU WERE PRESENT
WHEN SHE MURDERED HIM.
SIT DOWN.
SHE?
THE PRINCESS. WHO ELSE?
VAIN LITTLE FOOL WITH HER
VISIONS OF LONDON SOCIETY.
WHAT HAS LONDON
SOCIETY TO DO WITH THIS?
IT RULES THE WORLD.
BUT NOT FOR MUCH LONGER.
YOU DIDN'T COME TO TALK TO ME
ABOUT EMPIRE AND WORLD POLITICS
AT THIS HOUR?
PERHAPS IT IS TOO LATE
TO DISCUSS POLITICS.
WHAT DO YOU INTEND TO DO
ABOUT THE RING? RETURN IT TO HER?
IF SHE CAN PROVE
SHE HAS A RIGHT TO IT.
AND IF NOT?
THEN I MAY CONSIDER SENDING IT
TO THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES MYSELF.
GIVE ME THE RING.
OR I SHALL PIN YOU AGAINST
THAT CHAIR LIKE A BUTTERFLY.
I BEG YOUR PARDON.
AND NOW, SIR,
YOU PUT THE RING
BACK ON THE TABLE.
MR. PALADIN, THE POLICE IS...
MR. PALADIN, I ADVISE YOU NOT
TO FOLLOW US INTO THE HALL.
MR. PALADIN!
THE POLICE.
WELL... WHAT ABOUT THE POLICE?
THEY BUSY. CAN'T COME
TILL MORNING. MAYBE 9:00...
SHH!
[MAN SCREAMING]
GET THE RING. IT'S ON THE TABLE.
EXCUSE ME.
WHAT'S THAT YOU'VE GOT THERE?
A RING.
VERY VALUABLE. OH?
WOULD YOU MIND
IF I HAD A LOOK AT IT?
NO. [PALADIN] HEY BOY!
EXCUSE ME.
PUT THAT IN THE SAFE
WITH THE OTHER ONE.
YES, SIR.
YOUR REGISTER.
DO YOU HAVE SOME
IDEA OF WHO IT MIGHT BE?
WHO?
I'LL NEED PROOF.
WILL YOU HELP ME?
COMMAND ME.
IS THE DINING ROOM OPEN?
YES, BUT YOU'D BE
THE ONLY PERSON.
IT'D BE EASY FOR SOMEBODY TO
PICK YOU OFF WITH THAT BLOWGUN.
HEY BOY, ASK THE CHEF
IF HE HAS ANY MORE OF
THAT GRILLED SWORDFISH.
OH, HEY BOY.
GET ME A BOTTLE OF
BYRNE CASTLER DOCTORAN.
PUT IT IN THE SILVER ICE BUCKET.
SILVER ICE BUCKET? THAT'S RIGHT.
AND POLISH THE BUCKET
TILL IT SHINES LIKE A MIRROR.
LIKE A MIRROR? MM-HMM.
YES, MR. PALADIN. LIKE A MIRROR.
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
NOW, HEY BOY, WILL YOU GO
BACK BY THE DRAPES, PLEASE?
THERE NOW. YEAH. THAT'S FINE.
VERY CLEVER. [LAUGHS]
THANK YOU. NOW, IF
YOU WILL TAKE THIS...
AND STAND OVER THERE AND WATCH.
AND IF YOU SEE ANYONE
COMING, DROP THIS.
BUT HARD TO REPLACE.
SO IS YOUR LIFE, HEY BOY.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[DOOR OPENS]
MADAM, I'M SORRY. THE
DINING ROOM IS CLOSED.
I AM PRINCESS MAPUANA.
IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.
MAY I JOIN YOU? BY ALL MEANS.
I OWE YOU AN
EXPLANATION, DON'T I?
I WOULD SAY YOU DO.
THERE'S STILL MAYBE TIME
TO SAVE A FEW
LIVES IN THIS HOTEL.
THERE WAS THIS MAN.
HE SAID HE LOVED ME.
THE TRUTH IS, HE
WAS AFTER THE RING.
I'VE BEEN A FOOL.
NOW I... I HAVE ONLY
YOU TO TURN TO.
TELL ME HIS NAME.
OH, MR. PALADIN,
I AM ALL ALONE IN A
STRANGE COUNTRY.
I'M LONELY... AND AFRAID.
BUT, YOUR HIGHNESS, THE
DINING ROOM IS CLOSED.
THANK YOU.
[ROMANOV] YOU DIDN'T TELL
ME YOU WERE HAVING A PARTY.
HEY BOY.
PEGEEN.
WILFRED GATESHEAD, HUH?
PASSPORT FROM
CHOSIN, ONE FROM RUSSIA,
ONE FROM HUNGARY,
AND ONE FROM GERMANY.
NOT EVEN ENGLISH AT ALL.
A CITIZEN OF THE WORLD.
AND A MURDERER.
HE TRIED TO KILL ME.
WITH SUCH A CHILD'S TOY? MM-HMM.
PRINCESS, I AM TERRIBLY SORRY.
I KNOW YOU'LL REALIZE
IT WAS SELF-DEFENSE.
ANYONE WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME.
WHO IS HE?
I BEG YOUR PARDON.
PRINCE ALEXEI ROMANOV.
PRINCESS MAPUANA OF
THE SANDWICH ISLANDS.
PETERSBURG DID NOT TELL ME
THAT CANNIBALS ARE GORGEOUS.
MR. PALADIN,
COULD I HAVE THE RING BACK
FOR THE KING PRESIDENT?
PRINCESS, I DON'T THINK SO.
ALEXEI, WHY DON'T
YOU TAKE THE RING.
NOT ON YOUR LIFE.
YOU TAKE THE ISLANDS.
THAT'S A FAIR EXCHANGE.
I'LL TAKE THE ISLANDS AND
YOU TAKE THE PRINCESS.
I WOULD BE EXILED FROM HOME.
HAVE YOU SEEN PARIS?
NOT SEE PARIS?
I WILL REMEDY THAT SITUATION.
PALADIN, FAREWELL.
I AM OFF TO A WONDERFUL
EXILE TO PARIS.
COME, DEAR. I HAVE A WONDERFUL
FUTURE ALL PLANNED FOR YOU.
WHAT?
HA-HA-HA.
[SIGHS]
"WHOLE VOLUMES SPOKE OF HER.
"WHOLLY FAIR AND
WISE WAS SHE, PEGEEN.
PEGEEN, PEGEEN, GOOD NIGHT."
THANK YOU, HEY BOY.
MAYBE YOU WILL SEND
RING TO PRESIDENT NOW?
HEY BOY, YOU MAY REST ASSURED.
YOU KNOW, UH, MR. PALADIN? HMM?
THAT WOULD MAKE HAWAII
THE 39th STATE IN THE UNION.
IN THE UNION, HUH?
♪ "HAVE GUN, WILL TRAVEL"
READS THE CARD OF A MAN ♪
♪ A KNIGHT WITHOUT
ARMOR IN A SAVAGE LAND ♪
♪ HIS FAST GUN-FOR-HIRE
HEEDS THE CALLING WIND ♪
♪ A SOLDIER OF FORTUNE
IS THE MAN CALLED ♪
♪ PALADIN ♪
♪ PALADIN, PALADIN
WHERE DO YOU ROAM ♪
HEY BOY, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
WHERE'S THE WINE?
ALL CHILLED. I BRING IT
UP AFTER I SET THE TABLE.
THE CHEF SAY WILD
DUCK JUST ARRIVE.
IN OVEN NOW.
FINE. THIS PLAN IS JUST ABOUT
AS GOOD AS A MAN CAN MAKE IT.
ALL IS NOW UP TO THE
LADY. [MAN LAUGHING]
[MAN] TO BEGIN, THE SNOW
AND ICE OF THE RUSSIAN TUNDRA
WOULD MELT WITH YOUR
BEAUTY. [WOMAN] OH!
TAKE A LETTER.
DEVISE WITH RIGHT PEN.
"WHOLE VOLUMES
TO SPEAK OF, PEGEEN.
"WHAT IS SHE THAT ALL
OUR SWAINS COMMEND HER?
WHOLLY FAIR AND WISE IS SHE."
YOU GO TOO FAST, PRINCE.
OH, I FORGET. THE HAND IS
SLOWER THAN THE HEART.
OH, PALADIN.
PRINCE ALEXEI ROMANOV.
[THUD] MR. PALADIN.
I DON'T PLACE THE FACE, PRINCE,
BUT THE LITERARY
STYLE IS FAMILIAR.
OF COURSE. SHAKESPEARE.
WHEN I WRITE A LOVE LETTER, I
WRITE NOTHING BUT THE BEST.
NOW WHERE WERE WE?
LOVE'S LABOUR LOST.
AS YOU CAN SEE, I'M BUSY,
PALADIN. AS FOR DINNER...
I WILL BE BUSY FOR
THE NEXT FEW WEEKS,
DICTATING THE LONGEST,
MOST PASSIONATE,
MOST MARVELOUS LOVE LETTER
IN THE WHOLE HISTORY OF MANKIND.
FAR BE IT FOR ME TO INTERFERE
WITH GREAT LITERATURE.
EXCUSE ME.
"NOW IS THE WINTER
OF OUR DISCONTENT...
MADE GLORIOUS SUMMER BY PEGEEN."
HEY BOY, SEND MY DINNER UP.
"WASTE NOT, WANT NOT."
[KNOCKING]
[MOANING]
WHERE IS HE?
WHO?
DID YOU SEE WHO THREW THAT?
NO.
DO YOU WANT ME TO
TAKE YOU TO THE POLICE?
BUT THAT IS WHY I
TRIED TO SEE YOU.
THE POLICE MUST NOT KNOW.
WHY?
IT WOULD CREATE THE
MOST HORRIBLE SCANDAL
BETWEEN YOUR COUNTRY AND MINE.
YOU SURE YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO THREW THE KNIFE?
PRINCE KIMO, MY STEPBROTHER.
EVER SINCE I LANDED
IN THIS COUNTRY,
HE'S BEEN TRYING TO STOP ME.
PRINCE KIMO, YOUR STEPBROTHER?
YOU ARE A PRINCESS?
DO YOU DOUBT IT?
A PRINCESS OF WHAT?
I AM PRINCESS MAPUANA
FROM THE SANDWICH ISLANDS
OF WHICH MY UNCLE IS KING.
BETTER KNOWN TO
YOU, PERHAPS, AS HAWAII.
PRINCESS MAPUANA OF
THE SANDWICH ISLANDS.
"HISTORY OF THE
SANDWICH ISLANDS."
AHA.
I WAS AN UGLY CHILD.
WELL, THIS MUST'VE BEEN
DONE A LONG TIME AGO.
YOU WOULD NOT THINK OF
ME AS A CHILD, WOULD YOU?
NO. NO. NO.
MY UNCLE SEND ME WITH A GIFT
TO THE KING OF YOUR COUNTRY.
THE, UH,
PRESIDENT?
KING PRESIDENT.
THAT IS HIS NAME.
WHAT KIND OF A GIFT?
SIGNET RING...
FROM OUR ROYAL FAMILY.
I'M SURE OUR KING PRESIDENT
WILL BE VERY PLEASED WITH IT.
IT'S NOT THE RING THAT MATTERS.
IT'S THE MEANING THAT IT HOLDS.
OH?
IT SPEAKS WITH THE
VOICE OF MY UNCLE.
IT SAYS, "COME. BRING YOUR
WAR BOATS AND BE OUR FATHER."
AND PRINCE KIMO HAS OTHER IDEAS.
PRINCE IS A FOOL. HE WANTS
THE THRONE FOR HIMSELF.
AND YOU DON'T.
I LOVE YOUR COUNTRY.
OTHER FOREIGNERS COME TO
US WITH FOES, WITH TREACHERY.
YOU PEOPLE COME TO
US WITH MONEY TO TRADE.
AND WHAT MAY I DO FOR YOU?
KEEP THIS RING FOR ME.
PROTECT IT WITH YOUR LIFE.
UNTIL I ASK IT BACK.
I WILL PAY YOU WELL.
THOSE ARE LOVELY.
IT'S AN EXCELLENT LIKENESS
OF YOUR AUNT LILIUOKALANI.
PRINTED IN SWEDEN, WEREN'T THEY?
I DON'T BELIEVE THEY'LL GET
YOU VERY FAR IN THIS COUNTRY.
YOU REFUSE TO HELP
ME IN MY GREAT DANGER?
YOU SAY YOUR BROTHER
THREW THIS KNIFE AT YOU.
NO ONE ELSE WOULD
HAVE THE REASON TO.
FOR YOUR BROTHER TO
HAVE THROWN THE KNIFE
SO THAT IT WOULD
ENTER AT THIS ANGLE,
HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE
BEEN STANDING ON THE CEILING.
PRINCESS, I THINK THAT...
THAT IS HOW THE KNIFE
ENTERED THE DOOR.
THEN YOU REFUSE TO HELP ME?
NO. NO. NO. NO.
LET US SAY, RATHER, I
PREFER NOT TO DO BUSINESS
WITH SOMEONE I CAN'T
TURN MY BACK ON.
"PIECE RESISISAN."
MMM.
DUCK WITH WILD RICE.
I'LL TAKE THAT TRAY.
CERTAINLY.
GO.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, HEY BOY.
AND CLOSE THE DOOR.
THE RING, PLEASE.
THIS WOULD BE PRINCE KIMO.
YOUR SISTER SEEMS TO HAVE MADE
A REMARKABLY ACCURATE
ESTIMATE OF YOUR CHARACTER.
WHAT DID SHE SAY?
THAT YOU WERE TRYING
TO STEAL THE RING.
YOU WILL BELIEVE
HER. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
HOW CAN I CONVINCE YOU?
THE RING IS MINE TO
DELIVER TO YOUR PRESIDENT.
WHY WOULD SHE TRY
TO STEAL IT FROM YOU?
SHE WAS TOLD TO BY A MAN
WHO CLAIMS TO LOVE HER.
WOULD BE KIND TO HER AS
LONG AS SHE'S HELPFUL TO HIM.
AND THEN... WHY WOULD
SHE GIVE IT TO ME?
THAT'S WHAT I HOPED
YOU COULD EXPLAIN.
AND HER LOVER?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET HIM? YES.
COME. HE IS...
[LAUGHS]
SIR, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYBODY
RUNNING BY HERE, HAVE YOU?
SIR, I WAS SOUND ASLEEP.
YOU ALWAYS SLEEP
WITH YOUR SHOES ON?
QUITE.
HEY BOY.
WILL YOU RETURN
THIS TO THE KITCHEN
AND CALL THE MANAGER, PLEASE.
[THUNDERCLAP]
I'VE SENT SOMEONE
FOR THE POLICE,
BUT I DON'T HAVE MUCH HOPE
THEY'LL TURN UP BEFORE MORNING.
I UNDERSTAND THERE'S ANOTHER
RIOT AT THE BARBARY COAST.
I'D BETTER HAVE ANOTHER
TALK WITH THE PRINCESS.
WHAT'S HER ROOM NUMBER?
THERE'S A PRINCESS IN MY HOTEL?
PRINCESS MAPUANA.
NO. NO ONE BY THAT NAME
IS REGISTERED WITH US.
NO?
HEY BOY, HAVE YOU SEEN
ANY POLYNESIAN LADIES
AROUND THE HOTEL TODAY?
IF A LADY ATTRACTIVE, I THINK
YOU WILL SEE HER BEFORE ME.
HA-HA-HA.
WHAT DOES THIS PRINCESS
HAVE TO DO WITH IT?
THE LATE PRINCE KIMO
WAS HER STEPBROTHER.
SHE SAID HE WAS TRYING TO MURDER HER
FOR THIS RING. SHE WAS OBVIOUSLY LYING.
I'D BETTER KEEP IT IN THE
SAFE TILL THE POLICE COME.
THERE'S NOT MUCH POINT IN
HAVING A TRAP IF WE HIDE THE BAIT,
IS THERE?
[THUNDERCLAP]
[RATTLING]
NOBODY STRIKES A ROMANOV!
$5,000 MY FRIEND, AND I DON'T
MEAN SHAKESPEARE EITHER.
FOR WHAT?
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND? THE RING.
ISN'T EVERYBODY AFTER THE RING?
I'M LISTENING.
IN PETERSBURG, BUREAUCRATS THINK
IF ENGLAND, AMERICA, AND PRUSSIA
ALL WANT THE SANDWICH
ISLANDS, IT MUST BE WORTH HAVING.
WORTH HAVING ENOUGH
TO KILL FOR? KILL?
WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT
KILLING? I DON'T EVEN EAT MEAT.
PRINCE, THE RING IS NOT
FOR SALE. NOW WHAT?
YOU WON'T SELL IT?
WHY DON'T YOU SAY
THIS IMMEDIATELY?
OUR FATHER THE TSAR,
HE TELLS ME TO TRY.
SO I TRY. NOBODY SAYS
I HAVE TO SUCCEED.
YOU DON'T WANT THE
SANDWICH ISLANDS.
FOR WHAT?
I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT
WITH PEGEEN.
♪♪ [HUMMING]
THE RUSSIANS AND THE PRUSSIANS
AND THE ENGLISH...
AND HIS AUNTS.
♪ HIS SISTERS AND HIS COUSINS
WHOM HE RECKONS UP BY DOZENS ♪
♪ HIS SISTERS AND HIS
COUSINS AND HIS AUNTS ♪
♪♪ [MAN SINGING ALONG]
[LAUGHS]
GOOD EVENING.
YOU DO WANT TO SEE ME?
MAY I COME IN?
BY ALL MEANS.
I LIKE A MAN WHO SPEAKS HIS MIND
ONCE I KNOW WHO HE IS.
JORGEN VON HENGST,
PROFESSOR OF MILITARY
SCIENCE, UNIVERSITY OF KIEL.
AT PRESENT, NAVAL
ATTACHÉ TO PRINCE KIMO.
THE LATE PRINCE KIMO.
AND YOU?
YOU WERE PRESENT
WHEN SHE MURDERED HIM.
SIT DOWN.
SHE?
THE PRINCESS. WHO ELSE?
VAIN LITTLE FOOL WITH HER
VISIONS OF LONDON SOCIETY.
WHAT HAS LONDON
SOCIETY TO DO WITH THIS?
IT RULES THE WORLD.
BUT NOT FOR MUCH LONGER.
YOU DIDN'T COME TO TALK TO ME
ABOUT EMPIRE AND WORLD POLITICS
AT THIS HOUR?
PERHAPS IT IS TOO LATE
TO DISCUSS POLITICS.
WHAT DO YOU INTEND TO DO
ABOUT THE RING? RETURN IT TO HER?
IF SHE CAN PROVE
SHE HAS A RIGHT TO IT.
AND IF NOT?
THEN I MAY CONSIDER SENDING IT
TO THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES MYSELF.
GIVE ME THE RING.
OR I SHALL PIN YOU AGAINST
THAT CHAIR LIKE A BUTTERFLY.
I BEG YOUR PARDON.
AND NOW, SIR,
YOU PUT THE RING
BACK ON THE TABLE.
MR. PALADIN, THE POLICE IS...
MR. PALADIN, I ADVISE YOU NOT
TO FOLLOW US INTO THE HALL.
MR. PALADIN!
THE POLICE.
WELL... WHAT ABOUT THE POLICE?
THEY BUSY. CAN'T COME
TILL MORNING. MAYBE 9:00...
SHH!
[MAN SCREAMING]
GET THE RING. IT'S ON THE TABLE.
EXCUSE ME.
WHAT'S THAT YOU'VE GOT THERE?
A RING.
VERY VALUABLE. OH?
WOULD YOU MIND
IF I HAD A LOOK AT IT?
NO. [PALADIN] HEY BOY!
EXCUSE ME.
PUT THAT IN THE SAFE
WITH THE OTHER ONE.
YES, SIR.
YOUR REGISTER.
DO YOU HAVE SOME
IDEA OF WHO IT MIGHT BE?
WHO?
I'LL NEED PROOF.
WILL YOU HELP ME?
COMMAND ME.
IS THE DINING ROOM OPEN?
YES, BUT YOU'D BE
THE ONLY PERSON.
IT'D BE EASY FOR SOMEBODY TO
PICK YOU OFF WITH THAT BLOWGUN.
HEY BOY, ASK THE CHEF
IF HE HAS ANY MORE OF
THAT GRILLED SWORDFISH.
OH, HEY BOY.
GET ME A BOTTLE OF
BYRNE CASTLER DOCTORAN.
PUT IT IN THE SILVER ICE BUCKET.
SILVER ICE BUCKET? THAT'S RIGHT.
AND POLISH THE BUCKET
TILL IT SHINES LIKE A MIRROR.
LIKE A MIRROR? MM-HMM.
YES, MR. PALADIN. LIKE A MIRROR.
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
NOW, HEY BOY, WILL YOU GO
BACK BY THE DRAPES, PLEASE?
THERE NOW. YEAH. THAT'S FINE.
VERY CLEVER. [LAUGHS]
THANK YOU. NOW, IF
YOU WILL TAKE THIS...
AND STAND OVER THERE AND WATCH.
AND IF YOU SEE ANYONE
COMING, DROP THIS.
BUT HARD TO REPLACE.
SO IS YOUR LIFE, HEY BOY.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[DOOR OPENS]
MADAM, I'M SORRY. THE
DINING ROOM IS CLOSED.
I AM PRINCESS MAPUANA.
IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.
MAY I JOIN YOU? BY ALL MEANS.
I OWE YOU AN
EXPLANATION, DON'T I?
I WOULD SAY YOU DO.
THERE'S STILL MAYBE TIME
TO SAVE A FEW
LIVES IN THIS HOTEL.
THERE WAS THIS MAN.
HE SAID HE LOVED ME.
THE TRUTH IS, HE
WAS AFTER THE RING.
I'VE BEEN A FOOL.
NOW I... I HAVE ONLY
YOU TO TURN TO.
TELL ME HIS NAME.
OH, MR. PALADIN,
I AM ALL ALONE IN A
STRANGE COUNTRY.
I'M LONELY... AND AFRAID.
BUT, YOUR HIGHNESS, THE
DINING ROOM IS CLOSED.
THANK YOU.
[ROMANOV] YOU DIDN'T TELL
ME YOU WERE HAVING A PARTY.
HEY BOY.
PEGEEN.
WILFRED GATESHEAD, HUH?
PASSPORT FROM
CHOSIN, ONE FROM RUSSIA,
ONE FROM HUNGARY,
AND ONE FROM GERMANY.
NOT EVEN ENGLISH AT ALL.
A CITIZEN OF THE WORLD.
AND A MURDERER.
HE TRIED TO KILL ME.
WITH SUCH A CHILD'S TOY? MM-HMM.
PRINCESS, I AM TERRIBLY SORRY.
I KNOW YOU'LL REALIZE
IT WAS SELF-DEFENSE.
ANYONE WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME.
WHO IS HE?
I BEG YOUR PARDON.
PRINCE ALEXEI ROMANOV.
PRINCESS MAPUANA OF
THE SANDWICH ISLANDS.
PETERSBURG DID NOT TELL ME
THAT CANNIBALS ARE GORGEOUS.
MR. PALADIN,
COULD I HAVE THE RING BACK
FOR THE KING PRESIDENT?
PRINCESS, I DON'T THINK SO.
ALEXEI, WHY DON'T
YOU TAKE THE RING.
NOT ON YOUR LIFE.
YOU TAKE THE ISLANDS.
THAT'S A FAIR EXCHANGE.
I'LL TAKE THE ISLANDS AND
YOU TAKE THE PRINCESS.
I WOULD BE EXILED FROM HOME.
HAVE YOU SEEN PARIS?
NOT SEE PARIS?
I WILL REMEDY THAT SITUATION.
PALADIN, FAREWELL.
I AM OFF TO A WONDERFUL
EXILE TO PARIS.
COME, DEAR. I HAVE A WONDERFUL
FUTURE ALL PLANNED FOR YOU.
WHAT?
HA-HA-HA.
[SIGHS]
"WHOLE VOLUMES SPOKE OF HER.
"WHOLLY FAIR AND
WISE WAS SHE, PEGEEN.
PEGEEN, PEGEEN, GOOD NIGHT."
THANK YOU, HEY BOY.
MAYBE YOU WILL SEND
RING TO PRESIDENT NOW?
HEY BOY, YOU MAY REST ASSURED.
YOU KNOW, UH, MR. PALADIN? HMM?
THAT WOULD MAKE HAWAII
THE 39th STATE IN THE UNION.
IN THE UNION, HUH?
♪ "HAVE GUN, WILL TRAVEL"
READS THE CARD OF A MAN ♪
♪ A KNIGHT WITHOUT
ARMOR IN A SAVAGE LAND ♪
♪ HIS FAST GUN-FOR-HIRE
HEEDS THE CALLING WIND ♪
♪ A SOLDIER OF FORTUNE
IS THE MAN CALLED ♪
♪ PALADIN ♪
♪ PALADIN, PALADIN
WHERE DO YOU ROAM ♪